Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Slipping out of the bed was easy. It meant Kris being used as a paperweight later, but Ralsei could sneak out for the time being. 

Thankfully, Susie wasn’t awake enough to catch him sliding out of the bed.

He’d be back. Probably. Ralsei just needed to make sure that things were okay with the one other person in the group. They… couldn’t be left behind again in any capacity. After everything, Ralsei felt nervous to see them separate from everyone yet again.

So, he tip-toed to the wardrobe, looking up at the red glow. Trying to keep his voice as quiet as possible, he called out their name, “Are you… are you still there?”

As if calling them always meant they had to respond, the soul drifted out from its hiding place. It hovered high up, still precariously out of reach. It made no move to come down, looming up there. Even now, it wanted to remain distant, above it all.

Ralsei fiddled with his hands, trying to find the right words to convince them to come down. “Are you… are you comfortable up there? I could try to do something to… maybe make things a little more comfortable?” He didn’t know how he would, to be honest. The soul… really only was designed to have a pain response when interacted with. Without a vessel, that was the only sensation that they really knew. The only form of comfort for the Angel was a vessel, and they had willingly left Susie a few moments ago.

The soul remained motionless.

“It just… it seems cold up there. It seems mean to leave you alone.” He glanced back at Susie and Kris, both sound asleep after a long day of fighting. Really, he wished that they both had realized they had nightgowns in the wardrobes. 

When Ralsei looked back, the soul hadn’t moved an inch. They remained still, the Angel’s presence betraying nothing about their current state. It was a perfect neutrality, one that was difficult to break with no vessel to see through.

…It reminded Ralsei of the moment earlier today… when he found them in the depths.

He never wanted to see that side of the Angel again.

So, the next question naturally spilled out. “Are you okay?” It may have been something out of line to ask someone like the Angel, but the memory of them losing themself at the bottom of a Dark World was too potent for him to just let this go. He never wanted to see that again. Never.

The guard dropped. Something in the air lowered, like large wings drooping downward. Ralsei watched the soul hover lower, finally moving to be on eye-level with him.

He rarely got to see them this close. It made him straighten up, not wanting to accidentally bump into them. The Angel’s form looked so fragile, like the slightest of brushes could damage the surface of the soul. Rationally, Ralsei knew that he’d seen it get hit by much worse, but when it was exposed like this…

Slowly, he lifted his hands. He didn’t touch the soul. That would be a foolish thing to do right now. He just hoped that it would be the closest thing to comfort that he could muster for the Angel. “I’m… sorry I upset you earlier.” It probably wasn’t the right thing to say, but he needed to say it. “I never know what to say. When I finally get a chance, sometimes I sound…” Blunt. When things came to a head, he always explained it just as he knew it in his head with no regard for who would hear. That’s… why Susie still got frustrated over the statue of the old man, after all.

The soul pulsed. It was the closest thing to a response that the Angel could give. Somehow, Ralsei felt like that was supposed to be reassurance of some kind. The soul drew closer to him, and Ralsei softly laughed at how fascinating it really was up close. The warm glow against his face made him feel calmer somehow.

“Are you…” He paused, trying to find the right words to not upset them again. “Would you… be okay if we talked?”

Instead of pulling away like he thought it would, the soul stayed in close proximity to him. After a moment, it slowly began to move, going in the direction of the door at a slow pace so as to not look like it was fleeing.

Ah. They didn’t want to speak here.

That was probably for the best. If Ralsei’s form really did change from interacting with the Angel, then he didn’t want to scare Susie and Kris if either of them woke up to any noises. Ralsei decided to walk alongside the soul, wondering whether or not he should try to extend his hand out to let them have something to be close to.

…Probably not. 

When he opened the door to let them out, the realization of what he was doing started to kick in. He’d just asked the Angel to temporarily become a vessel to speak with them. Ralsei had just gotten it through his skull that they wouldn’t want to fuse with a lowly vessel like a Darkner. If this actually happened, then they would be angry with him.

The soul stopped for a second, doing a cursory twirl around his head.

Were they still listening?

He would have to hope that they were this once. Maybe… maybe that was meant to mean something good.

They made their way back upstairs. No one wandered the halls even now. It let the two of them slip into Ralsei’s empty room. It was so cold in here compared to the warmth he felt with Susie and Kris. Thankfully, the soul next to him shed its own warmth, keeping him from shivering when he walked back into this place that he… no longer really liked.

“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to!” Ralsei clarified as the door shut, suddenly a little apprehensive at being alone in the presence of the Angel.

The soul stopped in place, hovering inches from Ralsei’s head. It waited.

Did they… want him to do it? They could simply fuse with him like they did while fighting the Titan. Their presence felt neutral… waiting for something.

Slowly, Ralsei extended his hands out to a being far above him. The soul hovered just inches above his palms, spreading warmth throughout them. All he had to do was accept this. It was what he asked for, was it not?

As gently as he possibly could, he placed his hands against the surface of the soul. Warmth spread throughout his arms, and the soul began to glow brighter. Its surface felt like hot glass, like the light inside of it had burnt so hot that it was almost too much to touch. Yet, the Angel’s soul remained steady, letting him draw it closer to his chest. It was fitting, when the soul passed through the empty heart on his robes.

Ralsei kept his hands on his chest as the soul vanished. A presence joined him. Suddenly, he was feeling a little lightheaded. 

For now, he would just… sit down for a little bit.

He could feel himself changing. The room around him started to look less tangible. Yet, before he could focus too much on it, the Angel closed his eyes for him. They let him sink into something different, falling into something much larger than him.

It didn’t hurt. He thought it would. When the soul fused with him while in a fight, it hurt quite a bit. This time, with the two of them ready, it was like falling into the embrace of a friend. Something kept him close, letting him know that he did not have to be afraid.

He opened his eyes to a familiar place. Once more, he found himself back in the muddy halls that they found within the depths of the church. When he looked up expecting to see the church windows again, he only saw… stars. Though, even from this far away, Ralsei knew that they weren’t the real thing. They looked far too similar to the ones hovering over Castle Town.

Ralsei rose to his feet, realizing he was back in front of that sad, stone statue again. One of his ears pricked upwards slightly when he heard someone playing piano further down the hall. The keys didn’t sound right, and every now and then the song paused and stuttered.

Quietly, Ralsei walked in the direction of the music. There was a pull towards it, a familiarity that he recognized all too well. He knew who had to be playing. 

When he finally saw the backside of their head, he froze. The two wings wreathing either side of their head were stiff, as if the Angel was using every ounce of their body to focus on what they were doing. At the very least, their light was steady now, no longer consuming them like he had seen so long ago. It was back as a steady star, a light manifested of their power at the back of their head. They were whole once more.

The Angel pressed down on the keys too hard, four of them playing together in a discordant plink. Their wings drooped, and Ralsei finally got a chance to see their face.

Susie did… mention that something like this happened when she was fused with them. Kris hadn’t said much about what form they took. He… supposed he should have been expecting to see his own face staring back at him. It looked wrong on the Angel. While… while Ralsei was happy with his own face, the one thing he liked about himself… the Angel should never have been confined to a form like his.

The Angel turned around once more, continuing to play around the eight notes that had once drifted through these corridors. “Before we get started…” The Angel murmured, focusing very intently on the keys under their stolen hands. “I need you to stop being mean to yourself.”

Instinctively, Ralsei stood up straighter at being given a command. Though, when he actually registered what it was, he… was confused. “I’m just…” This was about the Angel reading his thoughts, wasn’t it? “I’m trying to keep your preferences in mind, Angel.”

One of their wings twitched uncomfortably. “Do you wanna know what my preference is?” They glanced at him out of the corner of their eye, scooting over to the right side of the small bench they were sitting on. With one of their hands, they pointed at the spot next to them. “Sit down.”

Another command. He… it didn’t look like there was much room on the bench there. Ralsei didn’t want to make them mad though, so he inched forward a bit, hoping that they would tell him to stop. When they did not, he had no choice but to sit on the very edge of the stool, trying not to intrude all that much.

The Angel stopped playing for a moment. They glanced at him again, sighing, “I get why Susie threw you into bed now.” Ralsei suddenly felt an arm wrapped around him, pulling him more firmly onto the bench. “Are you forgetting that I, like, hugged you five minutes after meeting you?”

No, he had absolutely not forgotten that. Ralsei just thought that all of that just… stopped after that moment. Ever since the Cyber World began, they hadn’t taken up any opportunity to actually give him hugs. Though, now that he thought about it, if they were paying attention to Kris’ wants more…

Ralsei felt a wing brush against him from the Angel returning to their focus. The doubts started to bleed away a little bit. After all, they and Kris had comforted him a little over an hour ago. He could cling to that memory instead.

So, Ralsei relaxed, trying to listen to what they were playing. Another plink came, frustration evident in the way the Angel hissed. The Angel said that they liked this place all the way back in the depths of the Dark World.

Part of Ralsei wanted to ask, so he fought back that feeling that told him not to intrude. After all, the Angel… was trying to be kind to him. Maybe… they wanted to talk? “I… didn’t know you played.” It was a stupid question in retrospect. Considering how well the Angel used the guitar, he should’ve known that some musical talent was there.

Another plink hit the keys. The Angel removed their hands, staring at the place where sheet-music would be if any was present. “I was never any good. I’m no Kris, after all.” They stopped trying to play anything complicated, their fingers slowly dancing across eight smudged keys. “I just… always stopped here to play when I had the chance. No matter what I was doing at the time, I always tried to take a moment.”

Ralsei remembered them staring at the organ after Kris had stopped playing. Something in the Angel’s expression shifted when staring for too long, and they didn’t try to play a single thing on it. Hearing them play on a piano with most of its keys missing was…

How did he describe what he was seeing? Why did they refuse to play on a piano fitting for someone of their stature?

When the Angel tried to weave something new into the eight notes, their fingers caught on one of the keys, making another one of those discordant noises.

“It sounds nice!” Ralsei tried, sensing their frustration next to him. 

Somehow, that did actually get the Angel to laugh somewhat. “It doesn’t need to sound nice.” They looked just as tired as Ralsei felt, their soul slowly pulsing over and over again as if it was trying to keep some rhythm. He could see the fatigue under the eyes that were originally his. The Angel… didn’t seem all that here right now. “It just needs to calm the nerves.”

Ralsei stared down at his own hands for a moment, trying to fight his own nerves as well. First and foremost, he had to do something important while he had the chance to talk to them like this. “I’m… I’m sorry for upsetting you earlier. I didn’t…”

The little tune they were playing went off-tempo, speeding up ever so slightly. The Angel’s wing twitched, lightly thwacking against the side of Ralsei’s face. They paused their playing again, taking a steadying breath. “It’s not your fault. Susie knows better than to let me keep secrets,” they decided on saying, trying to keep their voice incredibly cordial, “I suppose it just… finally struck a nerve.”

Ralsei had to admit, he understood where Susie was coming from now with the Angel dodging around questions. While he… thought he understood that answer, they were dancing around the actual issue quite well by leaping to other subjects and complimenting things that weren’t really called into question in the first place.

It was just a matter of figuring out what specifically caused them to recede from the conversation. Upsetting the Angel wasn’t something he wanted to ever do again, and part of him wondered whether or not that feeling was coming from a place of fear now or from… maybe…

Ralsei liked it… when the Angel called him their friend.

That felt right.

He wanted to try to start with… the less sensitive of the two, something less likely to offend. Part of him wanted to push back the questions forever, to not say anything until it was needed. Right now, he could just sit here and listen to the broken piano. There were… no consequences for doing so. The Angel didn’t seem to get irritated the longer Ralsei thought. They just kept trying to add something new to a few notes, never quite getting something they were satisfied with.

…Only ever able to do what they already knew.

Ralsei sheepishly brought up something, “I… didn’t mean to imply that you were creepy, by the way.”

The Angel exhaled sharply, keeling over in front of the piano and letting out a short laugh. Apparently, they found that one funny. “Come on, Ralsei,” they giggled, wearing his face entirely wrong with the way they showed their teeth a lot when they laughed, “You all deserve to call me a little creepy at this point. Between the thought-reading, weird stars everywhere, and the way I’m just kind of a floating heart who possesses people, I had it coming.” Their wings folded closer to their head like they were thinking. “Plus Susie had to deal with me directly in a much worse way. Out of everyone, she can call me creepy the most.”

Even with all of that in mind, Ralsei still didn’t want to use the word creepy! “I-I guess I just… see the use in it?” Yes, the Angel’s abilities were terrifying conceptually. Even so- “The… the thought-reading helps you know what to do when we don’t. The stars seem to… protect us in a way. You being a soul, while not ideal, has helped us through many fights.” They weren’t creepy. Ralsei knew very well that their abilities could absolutely be troublesome in the wrong hands. But… they were nice. The Angel was nice!

“Huh.” They turned back to the piano, deciding not to play again quite yet. “I’ll take the vote of confidence. It’s probably still creepy, though.” The Angel wasn’t quite ready to take the leap that Ralsei wanted them to, the tune continuing.

“Then…” Ralsei tried to find his voice to make the question come out in a way that wouldn’t offend the Angel all over again. Perhaps, asking them for what was wrong would be a better approach than insinuating something particular. “What made you… um… want to separate from Susie?”

Their wings sagged slightly, but they managed a half-chuckle. “She’d figure me out too quickly. I guess I was just trying to stall the inevitable.” The Angel looked up at the fake stars, taking a deep breath through nostrils that weren’t theirs. “I’m surprised I’m still here, to be honest. I thought I’d be called away much sooner.”

Once again, they expertly wove around the question, almost getting Ralsei to ask them what they meant by being “called away”. Ralsei fought the urge away, trying to remain on course. 

“Then why talk to me?” He wondered out loud. The soul didn’t have to come down to him. If the Angel had just ignored him, then nothing would have happened.

“As always, Susie seems to know me too well.” The Angel put their head in their hands for a second just to rake them through their fur. Despite being exasperated, they cracked open one eye to glance at Ralsei. “You were my first friend here, and I guess I just have a lot of trouble not responding when you ask me things.”

He was so taken aback by hearing the word friend coming out of the Angel’s mouth, that he didn’t quite parse whether or not that last part was supposed to be a good thing. Susie had told Ralsei about this already, but hearing it come from the Angel was very different.

It made him feel more comfortable sitting on this small bench. Ralsei kept staring at the keys, trying not to look at the Angel’s light directly until he finally asked, “Then… are you okay?”

Once again, the Angel’s tune came back. Their hands didn’t run across the keys very smoothly either. Their hand positioning was off sometimes, not having a resting position and instead leaping over the keys to be in pre-determined locations. It made the notes come out harsher when they were finally hit. 

“...Yeah,” the Angel finally answered, lying through their teeth. They didn’t seem to be making an effort to mask it. “I tried to banish myself today, failed, and then my actions caused all of you to be too tired to fight. Worse, I let the Titan get into my head. So, yeah, I’m doing just fine.” Another plink came, the Angel not removing their hand from the keys this time. The sound remained for a bit longer, echoing into the distance.

The Titan had gotten to the Angel? Their power was considerably weakened in that fight, but nothing should actually be able to reach the Angel. Things could hurt their soul, but… 

The Titans were the shadow in the backside of one’s mind. Ralsei didn’t know that there were shadows anywhere within the Angel. Perhaps he should’ve questioned that when he saw them trying to sentence themself to oblivion.

Ralsei knew the most about Titans. Perhaps… he could help. He adjusted his glasses, trying to explain, “They don’t… have a consciousness. Whatever it showed you… it wasn’t necessarily the Titan. It was just…” Ralsei watched the Angel’s wings furl up, like what he was saying was doing the opposite of what he needed. Technicality didn’t matter now. “What… did it show you?”

Frustrated, the Angel slammed their hands down on the piano again, their song abruptly ending once more. Their breathing sounded heavy. “The music isn’t helping.” They pushed themself up in an instant, the bench slightly sliding back through the mud. Before Ralsei could question what they were doing, they reached out a hand to him. “Let’s walk.”

Well, he wouldn’t… deny them that. Ralsei grabbed their hand, feeling himself being effortlessly pulled to his feet. He had no idea where they were even going as the Angel dragged him forward a little bit. Notably, they didn’t let go of his hand for a moment, guiding him down the hall until they realized what they were doing. When they let go, Ralsei almost missed it. 

He trailed close behind them, walking by the rainy statue once more. The Angel glanced at it for a second before walking by. Unlike in the Dark World, the muddy hallways continued. Ralsei could see an entire path ahead, and already mourned his fur and glasses going through that rain. Hopefully, none of this would transfer to the real world.

The Angel grabbed an umbrella from a nearby bin, shaking it off a little. As they did so, they started talking again, “It asked me when I started being myself.” It was an admission, one that made their wings sag and their light grow dimmer. “It’s so stupid. Why did that get to me?”

Ralsei watched them unfurl the umbrella, expecting to have to get one of his own. However, before they set off, the Angel started marching back where they came, needing to do something. Ralsei followed dutifully, but…

That question…

It put a sinking feeling in his gut that he couldn’t voice right now. He needed to stamp it down for another time.

“Is… that why you’re so hesitant to talk about yourself?” Ralsei asked, trying to piece together what upset the Angel so much about the earlier conversation. If he needed to get anything right, it was how to not upset them in the future. 

The Angel brought the umbrella to the lone statue, placing it in the same nook that Kris had. The statue had been once more sheltered from the rain, and a music box began to play. After taking a few steps back, the Angel allowed themself a moment to listen to the song playing from within. 

Something softened in their expression, and their light returned to its normal brightness. “There would be nothing to talk about. It is a simple fact.”

Ralsei knew what his fake smiles looked like. One of them was plastered right on the Angel’s face in plain sight. He walked to stand next to the Angel, listening to the music with him. But, it had to be said: “I know that’s not true.”

It came out too defiant. Ralsei almost winced at the way he said it, forgetting himself in front of the all-encompassing being that was temporarily part of him.

The Angel inclined their head in his direction, an eyebrow raising. “Oh really?”

“I-it’s just-” He started to feel more sheepish now. Him? Insinuating something about the Angel was false? Desperately, he tried to explain himself, “I-I just thought that- You just knew what you were doing when I first tried to teach you the rules of this world. Y-you said that you’d done things before us with… um… being good with knives! Then there’s th-this whole place!”

Midway through his speech, the Angel’s confusion turned into a halfhearted smile. “Caught.” They raised their hands in mock-surrender, the tension in Ralsei’s shoulders disappearing immediately. Still, they didn’t necessarily look happy about getting called out. “Sure, there was a before. Beyond that though? To all of you?” They shrugged. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

Ralsei took a steadying breath, happy that he at least hadn’t drawn the Angel’s ire. They were still standing next to him, even if a bit annoyed. 

However, Ralsei was beginning to understand the way the Angel tried to dodge around him. Reading in between the lines was something he wasn’t great at. He tried to practice it, especially when thinking about how to possibly get around the prophecy. Being kind felt like a way to avoid things, but clearly that hadn’t worked. With people, it was even harder. The Angel however… he could feel their entire presence within his chest. With Kris’ neutrality no longer serving as a barrier, he could feel the moments where the Angel’s presence shied away.

Sensing the Angel was always something Ralsei had been good at, and now that they were temporarily together… it became easier.

…so why did they feel the need to add “to all of you”?

Ralsei didn’t start there. He was… admittedly… interested in the before. This place seemed important to the Angel to keep coming back in times of distress. Perhaps, if he followed where the Angel wanted to guide him, then he would understand them a little more. “What… was it like before all of this?”

The Angel’s light dimmed again. A whisper came out of their mouth, like they hadn’t actually meant to say what they wanted to say, “I miss it, sometimes.” They finally turned away from the statue, beginning to walk towards the umbrellas. “Are you… sure you want to know all of this? It’s not going to help anything, and you all have been through enough.”

Of… of course he did!

Did he?

For once, Ralsei had the privilege of not knowing something. It was a luxury that he was never allowed to have with his knowledge of this world. Having something remain unknown, especially if the Angel was treating it with severity… might be a blessing. But… Ralsei somehow didn’t find any comfort in that unknown. The moment he’d been thrust into the depths with no clue as to where the Angel was, he hated the uncertainty.

He wanted to know.

Ralsei nodded, keeping pace with the Angel. “I do.” He was confident in that. If nothing else, he needed to know as much as possible about the Angel to prevent something like today from ever happening again.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” They grabbed another umbrella, shaking off the rainwater once again before unfurling it. This time, they held it out like an invitation. “You coming?”

Oh, was he not meant to take his own? The Angel didn’t even hesitate, like this was a habit for them. Well, if… if they wanted him to walk with them, then he supposed that this would be all right.

So, they walked side-by-side through the muddy cavern. Thankfully, the two of them were small enough to mostly fit under the umbrella. Being that they looked exactly like one another, it was easy. The Angel’s head-wing every now and then had a raindrop barely graze the end, making it twitch to get the water off. 

Ralsei found himself relaxing, hearing the rain beat on the top of the umbrella.

“I said I was good at fighting,” the Angel started, keeping a slow pace. There didn’t seem to be a rush. Every now and then, they stepped through a puddle without a care in the world. “That was a lie.”

Oh? How could that be a lie? Was it humility? Ralsei tilted his head, pointing the obvious out, “Your fighting during the Titan was… um… well beyond our current capabilities, I think.”

“Well yeah, but you don’t know the full picture.” The Angel tugged on one of their stolen ears. “How do I explain this… it’s not that I’m bad at fighting, it’s just that fighting is natural.”

That went against everything Ralsei had seen from them. Fighting was the last resort, the moment where the Angel decided that an enemy needed to fall. Even when fighting the Titan Spawn, they hadn’t let the party sully their own hands. Sure, there were foes that the Angel was unnaturally scary against. He had voiced as much to Susie. But considering what they’d learned from Kris…

…the Angel’s apprehension about the Knight made sense in retrospect. Ralsei just had no idea how they knew to fight at that very moment.

Otherwise, the Angel’s natural state was kindness. They spared every Darkner they came across. Problems were solved around the Dark World at a rapid pace, even for Darkners that were more… how should Ralsei say this… unstable.

“When I came to… well… I suppose the world before this one, fighting was all I really knew. It was my base instinct.” They stared down at a puddle that the two were walking over. For a second, Ralsei thought he saw something else walking below. The puddle splashed before he could get a good look. “It was all I knew how to do.”

“...You seemed pretty adept at ACTing when I met you,” Ralsei commented, remembering the fact that they completely ignored the FIGHT option in favor of hugging him. He turned his head away, trying to hide the fact that he was still thinking about that.

The Angel nodded. “Someone taught me how to ACT for the first time there. It… wasn’t like I just started swinging at things blindly.” They waved their free hand in a broad gesture. “ACTing was something novel, something I’d never seen before. Obviously… I wanted to try it as much as I could.”

Before. There was another before that the Angel had been trying to gloss over once more. Ralsei let the Angel continue, not wanting to interrupt the progress that they were making.

“...but there were times when it didn’t work.” They walked over another puddle. This time, Ralsei caught the Angel’s reflection within it. He saw their light and their wings, but… that wasn’t their usual power. The stark gold stood in contrast to their pale silver now. As soon as Ralsei caught a glimpse of a child holding something, the puddle was splashed through yet again. “And when things didn’t work, I returned to what I knew.”

“...You fought.” Ralsei got what the Angel was trying to say. It was like Susie said. Sometimes, people needed to be fought.

The umbrella trembled above them. The Angel managed to steady their hand after a few moments. “I did. I thought that fighting was the only way to proceed. It was as Susie said, there are some people you have to fight…” The Angel’s gaze lowered, staring down at their feet. Their wings sagged. “...but I made the wrong call.”

Oh.

Did someone get hurt? Of course they did. That was… what fighting DID. It was just that the Angel’s words held weight to them, their presence feeling heavier in Ralsei’s chest. 

The Angel stopped for a moment, looking out at the rain. “It’s not that I’m good at fighting… It’s that I’m consistent. It works. It makes things easier. ACTing is harder. It takes effort. It takes so much to figure out how to stop someone from fighting. And when things got rough… I…”

Flashes of memories came through Ralsei’s head. The Titan was a foe they had to fight, but it couldn’t have been easy to fall back on that instinct. Slash after slash came through, pacifism utterly dying in favor of taking the most direct option. Did they have those doubts when fighting the Knight? Ralsei only felt anger back then, not ever parsing any sense of regret from the Angel for what they were doing. The Angel never called on Ralsei once to try to convince the Knight to stop fighting.

Still, Ralsei remained optimistic, trying his best to cheer them up. “...but you seem to be doing quite well here!” It was empty in his mind, but just outside of this little place they were stuck in, there was so much to celebrate. “Castle Town has become quite lively thanks to you!”

That didn’t help as much as he thought it would. 

The Angel started walking again, their breaths coming out funny. “It’s harder here. I’m… better at what I do now, I think. But here… it’s different.” They realized they were hogging the umbrella a bit, putting it more firmly over Ralsei’s head to keep him dry. “Back then, my mistakes only impacted me and my vessel, but I was certain that I could keep them safe. It allowed more room for error. Here… I can’t… protect you and Susie in the same way I protect Kris.”

What… did that mean? Ralsei tilted his head at the insinuation. As long as they were all within the party, the Angel could protect all three of them. Yes, the Titan fight had been a tad… dire… but that was an atypical circumstance. “I don’t think… I get what you mean.”

“You don’t have to.” It was like they hoped he wouldn’t understand. “If my soul were to shatter, if the worst were to happen, I would be okay.” They said it so matter-of-factually, but the thought sent chills down Ralsei’s spine. “But when it’s you or Susie getting hurt… and you got hurt today… if anything were to happen, I may not be able to prevent it or…” They stopped themself, a few more words being stifled before they could come out.

But Ralsei was already far beyond being calm about this. “A-Angel, if… if your soul shattered, we would be doomed.” The eradication of the Angel could not be tolerated at all. Even imagining that fragile glass that was in his hands moments before cracking sent chills down his spine again. Imagining them shattering… dying… it…

The Angel stopped for a few moments, watching him with a look in their eyes that he couldn’t parse. It was like they wanted to say something, but thought better of it and kept moving forward. “You wouldn’t.” They settled on that, their eyes shutting for a bit. “Promise.”

No. No- that… that wasn’t fine.

“Please just-” Ralsei did something terrible. He snatched their arm that held the umbrella, his claws digging a bit too far. The Angel didn’t visibly react to the pain in any way, only staring at him. “We- we already almost lost you once today. I-I really don’t know what you’re talking about, but please stop saying that we… would be fine without you.” He was pleading, begging for them to stop that. It scared him too much. He’d begged before for them to never leave again. He hoped they’d listened.

The Angel used their free hand to gently grab one of his wrists. Slowly, his claws unhooked from their arm. The Angel didn’t let go of him, keeping their grip loose while guiding his hand back down.

Finally, they let go of his hand.

Ralsei thought that would be the end of it, that they would ignore his plea and continue walking.

Instead, he found the Angel’s one free arm wrapping around him, pulling him in an awkward hug with the umbrella wedged in the middle.

Wait wait wait- what was happening? He hadn’t had one of these in ages from the Angel. What-

“That’s not what I meant.” The Angel hugged him tighter anyway, seemingly oblivious or uncaring of the panic in Ralsei’s head. After a few seconds, they let go of him, like the ordeal was just to calm him down when it did the exact opposite. “Listen, I think if I went into why I’d be fine, you all would feel a lot worse, so I’m not going to.” They raised a finger before Ralsei could protest, not that he had the wherewithal to do so. “But. I’m not leaving until the end anymore, got it?”

That didn’t help??? “What do you mean we’d feel worse?” He was still struggling over the hugging thing, and now they were just throwing that out there? His hands were already instinctively going for his ears, wringing them out in sheer stress.

“I’m starting to think letting me freely talk was a mistake.” The Angel started walking away with the umbrella, forcing Ralsei to keep pace. Now they were dodging it. Great. “It just wouldn’t help, okay? If…” They glanced back at him again, seeing something on his face. They must’ve noticed the absolute horror and dread written all over him, because both of their wings sagged. “It is nothing that I want you all to worry about.”

Pain. Deep seeded pain dripped into the soul in Ralsei’s chest. This was something that they very much wanted to avoid.

…but Ralsei couldn’t avoid things that endangered the Angel anymore. “I-I’m already… I’m already scared, Angel.”

Their grip on the umbrella tightened. Like one of the many times they had been caught between a decision with Kris, the Angel started focusing incredibly hard, coming to a standstill. They were deciding something, something that might make Ralsei’s heart break if they avoided it again. He hated hearing them talk about themself like that, like they were expendable when that was so clearly not the case.

Somehow, the Angel relented, sighing, “Another time. Just know that I and all of you are safer because of it.” The light on the back of their head danced, and the reassurance somehow helped. “I only want to explain it once if I have to. I don’t think I could do it again.”

The stalling did not go unnoticed. Ralsei wanted to pry, to do everything in his power to make sure nothing like today ever happened to the Angel again. He wasn’t sure if they would ever get another chance to talk about this. If… if the Angel was certain that they were all safer because of this nebulous thing, then…

Hesitantly, he finally relented. It didn’t make him feel any better. He thought he was a coward. If anything like today happened again, then he would remember this moment forever.

“Where were we? Ah, right. It’s harder here.” Like nothing had happened, the Angel took a turn down the path. Perhaps they didn’t want to think about the future conversation either. “When things got rough back then, it was easier to be patient. Now, any mistake hurts all of you. Every time I take the attacks for a chance to spare someone, it’s another chance you all get hurt.” 

Ralsei had a hard time unclawing his train of thought, trying to get it away from what the Angel was just talking about. He tried his best, unhooking it for just a little longer.

Right, the Angel fought. Is that why they fought the Knight with such fury? Did they simply not want to take the chance? Ralsei remembered the darkened blades cleaving through him like he was nothing. He wasn’t sure if they could spare someone like the Knight. Ralsei fiddled with his scarf, wondering, “Where… are you going with this?” He didn’t mean to be impolite, it just sounded like the Angel was avoiding the inevitable conclusion that was speaking about the Titan.

The Angel did laugh a bit. “Right. Lost the point in all of that.” They lightly elbowed him in a way that Susie sometimes did, almost shoving him outside of the range of the umbrella. “Geez. I thought you were someone who liked long-winded explanations.”

The built up knot in Ralsei’s chest that had been growing ever since the talk of soul shattering started to unwind with the teasing. “I was stressed!” Both times he had to monologue, it was- “We’d just met and the other time was right before Berdly was about to summon a Titan.”

“He was going to do that, wasn’t he?” The Angel stopped to look across a gap, a lone blue flower sitting on the other side. “Point taken. I can fight, but doing that with a Bounceblade? No thanks.”

The Angel paused for a beat.

The Titan had come up again.

“You know, when it asked me when I started being myself, I don’t think I had an answer,” the Angel quietly admitted, the flower across the way whispering that secret back through its petals. The words didn’t come back correctly, like the Angel’s own speech was nothing tangible. “Is that stupid to get so upset over?”

“No.” The answer came out immediately, something that Ralsei was surprised with himself. Perhaps the thought had hit him more times than he could count. Perhaps the person standing next to him had already told him the same when they wanted him to keep being himself. Even though the Angel liked him… he still…

The Angel kept walking, Ralsei keeping pace with their stride. “I eventually got really good at ACTing, you know,” they mentioned offhandedly, detouring once again from the subject at hand, “But there was just one thing I could never fix through mercy. There was one… problem… that I could never fix no matter how many times I tried to do the right thing.”

The two passed by another puddle, Ralsei paying close attention this time. He thought he saw the child again, this time with shadows covering their eyes.

“I went back to fighting. After all, if I just didn’t get attached, then I wouldn’t have to feel bad. The stronger I became… the higher the numbers got… it stopped hurting. No one could hurt me anymore. I hoped that no one could get hurt anymore when I found what I needed to.” They laughed bitterly. “I went back to what was easy, because there were no more options. I always go back, and I guess I just wonder…” 

Ralsei remembered the Angel’s cold tone, telling him and Susie to stay back. He remembered watching them fall into a trance, slashing at the Titan with all of their might. What did they mean by the numbers getting higher? Getting stronger was something Ralsei recognized, and the term being on the Angel’s tongue sent shivers down his spine. It… wasn’t something that reflected in them at all.

Maybe in the moment where they held that Blackshard, he could see it. Yet… after everything they’d been through, after all he had seen the Angel do… he wondered how he could even see the person in front of him that way.

“...Is that who I am?”

It was a little funny. Ralsei realized it as the cavern shrunk a bit around them, the rain vanishing somewhere above. Not even a day ago, he had been asking them a similar question. He didn’t know what being Ralsei-like even was. How would he know what the Angel was?

…but Ralsei did know something for certain, something he had shared with the Angel and Kris once before. So, he asked them, “Do you remember when Susie used to fight all the time?”

The Angel nodded, their light glowing in an ethereal way as they walked through the darkened cave. “She has come a long way.”

It was almost interesting to watch them say that with no hint of irony in their words considering what they were just talking about. Ralsei held his hands behind his back while they walked, trying to take the role of guiding the Angel once more. “She’s rude. She’s sarcastic sometimes, but… it’s nice that she’s her, isn’t it?”

“Of course.”

“Do you…” He didn’t want to insinuate the wrong thing, but being wrong was intentional here. “Would you still… hold that instinct to fight against her?”

“Obviously not!” The answer came immediately, but the Angel didn’t see the irony yet. “The world taught her over and over again that she had to fight. The moment she made a real friend, she made the choice on her own to do better. Of course, I wouldn’t hold that against her.”

Ralsei pointedly glanced at them out of the corner of his eye.

When the Angel finally caught his gaze, they gave a short “ah”. Realization must have kicked in. “I see what you’re trying to do.” They did smile, the action only illuminated by the silver light on their head. “It’s not the same. Susie chose to do better. I found out that I could do better, and then after doing the best I possibly could, I started doing worse.”

There they went, talking around him again in the riddles they liked so much. Ralsei realized that this was a habit. Perhaps, all of the direct responses that Kris used to give the Angel had helped in making their communication clear. Now that they had their own voice, they… liked to evade a lot.

Ralsei could understand. He didn’t like talking about things until it was almost too late either.

They emerged from the cave. Ralsei had a chance to look up, seeing lights sprawling across the sky. He knew deep down that it wasn’t a sky, but to someone who was looking at it for the first time, it might as well have been one. 

The Angel slowed down to a snail’s pace, the rain having stopped a little bit. Finally, they closed the umbrella, leaning on it slightly while staring out across the empty expanse beyond.

Ralsei didn’t see anything where they were looking.

For a while, the Angel looked like they were focusing. More and more stars appeared on whatever ceiling hovered above. They stretched outwards, a field of flowers appearing across the ground further below. As if the Angel’s remembrance brought a place back to life, it continued forming.

In the distance, Ralsei saw a castle melting out of the darkness. Many times in their journey they had visited sights like this, but…

This place calmed his nerves, rather than giving him dread for what was to come.

The Angel sat down, patting the ground next to them. Instead of properly sitting like they were, Ralsei sank to his knees, staring out into the distance with them.

So much was hidden in their soul. The Angel had managed to make all of this, and from the sounds of it, this was a memory they thought of fondly. He stole a glance at them while their attention was on the castle beyond, watching the way their breathing started to even out as they looked.

A question came, forcing its way out of his mouth before he had a chance to stop it. “If you were something… what do you think you are?”

The Angel’s steady smile slowly ebbed away. Their gaze remained fixed on the castle, never leaving. “I could be many things. I’m not confident that any of them are me, and I’m scared that they could be.”

Ralsei understood. He knew the truth of what he was. A Darkner wasn’t meant to have emotions or feelings. They were designed to be discarded the moment they no longer provided happiness to the Lightners. While they had a chance to bring something into people’s lives, it was never meant to last forever.

…but lately…

One of the Angel’s hands planted into the mud as they leaned back to look up at the crystals on the ceiling. “Am I the friend that always does the right thing? No one remembers the wrong I did, so is that when I started being myself?” They didn’t seem satisfied in the answer, like they’d already mulled over the idea. “Was I myself when I started doing wrong… when I got so frustrated that I went back to fighting… when I detached myself and let instinct take over again…?”

The thought unnerved him. Ralsei didn’t know if he would say that they were detached… at least when fighting the Knight. They were angry. It didn’t… feel like they had distanced themself like they claimed.

Ralsei gathered courage, his claws sinking into his robes again. “Can I… admit something?” He wanted permission first. It was… a bad habit of his to speak out of turn now… making moments about him when he should be small and unnoticeable. But he wanted to say something now. He really did.

Without glancing away from the crystals, the Angel nodded. “Of course. You don’t need to ask.”

He was finding it… surprisingly easy to voice his thoughts the more they spoke. For a moment, he was able to forget that they were far above him. For a second, he thought he might be talking to a friend. “When you… told me that you were happy that I was me… I think…” He didn’t want to sound impolite. It was one of the kindest things the Angel had ever said to him. “I think I wasn’t quite sure what that meant either.”

The Angel thought for a second before snickering at themself. They leaned further back, shutting their eyes. “Look at me, complaining about things like identity in front of you.” Their laugh didn’t last long, their head turning a way to mask the way they frowned. “Sorry. You don’t deserve whatever… this is. We should just talk about something else.”

“N-no- I-” Ralsei shook his head, his ears flailing around at the sheer force at which he tried that. “It’s nice… I think…” 

The Angel opened their eyes again. They stared at him for a few seconds before their smile came back. “Then I guess I just have to keep talking.” They sat up, the mud not even clinging to their body. “I still… mean all of that by the way. No matter who you end up being, I’m glad you’re making those choices for yourself.”

Somehow, it felt different coming from the Angel directly.

Ralsei sank into his scarf a little bit, trying to hide his face. He wanted to keep trying to figure out who he was… even if… even if it may not amount to much in the end. Every little chance he had to try made him happy. Being friends with Kris and Susie… and maybe even the Angel now… had meant the most to him in his small time being useful again.

The Angel let him stew in his own thoughts, continuing to ramble to leave him be, “I guess for me… I think I should have figured out who I am by now. It’s been… a long time. The Titan’s question made it sound like that I’m already myself, and I just never figured out when that began.”

Both of the wings on their head flicked uncomfortably. Ralsei watched the light around their head dance a little more. Helpfully, he tried to point out, “Well, you are the Angel, are you not?”

They sighed, “What does that even mean?”

“W-well,” he stumbled a bit. The Angel’s role in the prophecy was always to be banished. Yet, they were needed to guide the three of them. That… could be a start. “You’ve been guiding us! We’re still… we’re still fine, thanks to you.”

“No no.” The Angel shook their head, staring down at their own hands while fighting their own words. “The Angel is what I am. A Darkner is what you are.” They poked a finger at his chest at the empty heart on his robes. “...but as we’ve found out, you have a lot more to you than that.”

Oh… this was… that area that Ralsei always felt like he should never be allowed to tread into. Having his own wants was nice. Having friends that he wanted to cling onto made him feel better. But whenever he thought about it too much, he realized that none of those things would ultimately matter. Darkners were all discarded one day. He could enjoy speaking to all of them now… he could enjoy getting to know them now… but one day, that would have to end.

Anything he became would be temporary.

The Angel’s head tilted his way. “Heard that one, but I think I get the feeling.” Their face scrunched in focus in the same way it did when focusing on the castle. Nothing about the environment changed. “...I think what I’m looking for is too far away, but… I think I can still get the point across.” They took the umbrella, drawing a familiar emblem of the Deltarune in the mud. “Let’s say that is who I am. Let’s say that for a second. If I started being myself when I became the Angel, I actually don’t know when that happened.”

What? “Were you… something before the Angel?” That was something he had never even considered before. The Angel was simply a concept, a name for the being above all of them. Ralsei had never even considered the fact that they… could be anything else. 

“Something, maybe. When my time is up here, I always go back to the way things were before. No purpose. Survive until next time. Monotony.” The vagueness came back. Every time Ralsei got close, the truth was snatched just out of his reach. “But… the Angel was a concept the first time I… connected with a place… in the before I was telling you about.”

Ralsei nodded, understanding, but still oh so curious about what the Angel could possibly be dancing around.

“...but the Angel was real. The person who finally introduced me to the concept of the Deltarune told me that the original meaning had been lost to time. But they made a new meaning! They thought… that one who had seen the surface would save them… or that something much worse would happen.” They didn’t elaborate on the specific wording that Ralsei didn’t quite understand. It wasn’t important to the point they wanted to make. “The thing is, I met that Angel.”

“Wait.” Ralsei held up a hand, scrambling closer at what he’d just heard. “You mean you’ve seen another one of you?”

They paused for a second before tilting their head back, laughing, “Of course, of course I have. You probably imagine that a bit differently than I do. I meant the Angel as a title though.” They waved their hand like the difference mattered in Ralsei’s head. “I met the one who freed them all. But, even back then, I still had these wings. Even back then, there was an alternate interpretation of the prophecy that he could never fulfill.” Their smile died down, giving way to something somber. “I didn’t notice the wings back then. Yet, in every memory, I have them.”

Was that what he had seen in those reflections? A different light had been shown, but the wings were always there. The Angel’s own presence in the world felt like wings now whenever Ralsei imagined it, but he wondered if there was ever a time where it was something else.

“So, when did I become the Angel? Was I always destined to be this?” They brought their knees up, resting their arms on top of them while they kept rambling nonsensically. “Did I never have a chance to choose who I was?”

Ralsei knew it all too well. Every night that he was forced to spend away from Susie and Kris, he wanted nothing more than to walk up there with them. If he was asked, he would have only ever wanted to be their friend. But he was a Darkner. He needed to be useful. That was his purpose. Even though he wanted to shatter the prophecy into bits, he could never shatter his own role as a Darkner.

“When did I start being myself?” One of their hands fell from their knees, digging into the mud below. “Because that’s just the thing, isn’t it? I’ve only ever been other people. I’ve only recently been seen, and even now I’m uncertain if that was supposed to happen.” Their stolen claws scraped through the mud. “I wanted to find out who I was. I thought I would finally have an answer when I connected to this world. I had hope, and I got thrown in a cage.”

The first hero. The cage, with human soul and parts.

Thrown into a cage…

Susie hadn’t wanted to take their choice away earlier. She’d made it clear that they didn’t want to be with Kris as much as possible when they all had to… have uncomfortable revelations.

For a second, Ralsei thought he saw the Angel have a realization. Something in their soul pulsed, like they understood something now.

The Angel messed with one of their stolen ears. “There’s nothing I can become. If I’m being realistic, that’s just how it is.” That bitter laugh came back, one that caused Ralsei to start uncomfortably wringing his scarf whenever he heard it. “I am already myself. This. What you see here, is all that there is to you. This is all there ever will be.”

With a clawed hand, they smudged the image of the Deltarune still sitting in the mud.

“The Angel. A role. That’s all I am. There is no after for me. My role was given to me, and I don’t even know when it was given.” Their eyes looked distant, the presence in Ralsei’s chest starting to become scattered.

Didn’t they, not a few moments ago, make the distinction that the Angel wasn’t who they were? Didn’t they try to tell Ralsei that there was more to him in the same breath? Something new started to well up in his chest. It wasn’t ready to lash out yet. Not yet. “How can you say that?” His claws dug into the palms of his hands. “Susie said that you… that there would be an after for you. We’re not… didn’t you say we’re not letting this happen?”

“I made no such promises.” The Angel averted their gaze. “I promised that you all would have your happy ending. I promised that you-” They poked the smeared Deltarune, their stolen claw landing on the upside-down triangle. “-would be given a future.”

“That’s not fair,” he weakly protested, staring at the smeared Angel in the Deltarune.

The Angel took the umbrella again, tapping it against the ground anxiously. “Susie is hopeful, I’ll give her that. She’s stubborn enough for me to want to see her try. It’s funny. I really do think that if anyone could do it, it would be her. I still look forward to seeing her try. I owe her that.” One of the taps became vicious, splashing up mud. “But I know that my role here cannot be changed. So, when the time comes, when I tear this prophecy to shreds for what it has done to all of you, I’ll still be the Angel to all of you… and nothing more.”

There it was. There was that feeling in his chest that he was trying to latch onto. What was this? Frustration? Anger? The same feeling that welled up in his soul when he realized the true extent of the prophecy came back.

The injustice of it all…

It all came back at once.

For so long, he had planned on how to break the prophecy on his own. Ralsei was the only one who could do it, after all. Ideally, the prophecy would be broken before the heroes ever had to learn about it. He thought that if they were just kind enough, then they would never have to know of their predetermined fate.

So, Ralsei fought alone. 

…Almost.

Wasn’t it the Angel, who at those Grand Doors, said that their choices would matter.

They didn’t know they were fighting at his side against something grander, but they fought beside him anyway.

“How can you say that?” Ralsei had been pushed to his limits today. At every turn, he’d been broken and bent. The prophecy tried everything in its power to crush his hope, even morphing to show a worse outcome when it did change. Perhaps that explained why he started to shout, “How can you look at me a-and tell me that I get to be my own person, and then you-” His hand was trembling, even as he pointed it at the Angel in accusation. “Say that you can’t?”

“Because that’s how it is?” The Angel scoffed, like the answer was obvious. They remained seated, staring off at the castle like Ralsei wasn’t bothering them.

Every ounce of Ralsei’s instincts told him to back off, but he couldn’t anymore. After everything today, he just couldn’t take one more lie. “You’re the Angel. I-I’m just a Darkner! If… if you’re not in control of who you are, then how am I supposed to…”

“Because we couldn’t be more different.” The Angel stood up, leaning on the umbrella and still never looking Ralsei in the eye. “Whether you like it or not, you are part of this world. No matter how small, you have the chance to stick around and figure out who you are.” After taking a deep breath, the Angel shut their eyes, the castle in the distance suddenly trembling. “My fate is decided by things you all have no hope of fixing.”

They walked closer to the precipice, staring out at that shaking castle. Something glinted in their eye, and they turned around to look at Ralsei. The words were starting to catch in his throat, and the Angel plastered a fake smile on their stolen face to top it all off.

The Angel’s light danced behind them. They threw their arms out to the side, as if showing all that there ever was. “I’ll break your prophecy, Ralsei. You all might not be able to break my strings, but I will stop at nothing to break yours.” Their voice started to lose its calm demeanor, something raspy bleeding through. “When did I start being myself? It doesn’t matter. That’s the answer. That’s all there is. Despite everything, I’m still me, and it’s only a matter of time before I make that clear again. Hope that I’m gone before that happens.”

That fake smile strained. The memory of the Angel lashing out like a cornered animal struck Ralsei over and over again. Suddenly, he wondered if he was seeing the same thing now. They’d been backed into a corner, standing there like nothing was wrong.

Ralsei felt his lip twitching. Suddenly, he was on his feet, still somehow feeling much smaller than the being that looked just like him. “You were the one who said I should have my own opinions. You… Do you know what I like?” Ralsei pointed a finger at the Angel, noticing the way they actually recoiled when Ralsei started yelling, “I liked being with Kris and Susie from the moment I met them. I liked meeting you too, even though I was stupid and didn’t do enough.”

The Angel tried to interrupt him. He kept going, despite everything. Despite the quakes rippling through his body, he kept going.

“I-I liked sitting there with all of you tonight. It was so nice… to finally have a chance to talk to all of you together.” When everything was friendly, when they all had a moment to just be, he liked the Angel that way. He liked seeing a friend for the littlest of moments. “I like it when you’re being yourself. I like it when you talk about yourself.”

Every time he said he liked something, the Angel took another step back. Suddenly, the grandiose, self-assured pose they had taken began to crumble. “That’ll only make it hurt more when I’m gone.”

Ralsei recalled words that had been repeated in his head over and over again to try to stay calm. Over and over when sitting in that empty room, he thought of every time someone told him that it was okay to be himself. Despite being a Darkner, despite knowing that one day he would be left alone, Susie still grabbed him and told him that he’d never be forgotten. The Angel told him that it was nice that he was himself, to continue being Ralsei. Even Kris hugged him tonight, telling him that it was okay not to smile.

Hypocrite.

The Angel was a hypocrite.

Some part within Ralsei was getting buried. The part of him that said to never lash out at the Angel started withering, replaced by their own actions. Wasn’t it the Angel who pulled him onto that piano stool, not caring about the difference in status? Wasn’t it them who told him to be nicer to himself?

Didn’t Susie say that the Angel had a weakness? He shouldn’t abuse it, but right now, he thought that he needed to. Ralsei lowered his head, a thought that he’d been trying to stamp out finally coming out: “What do you think… happens to me, even if we somehow break the prophecy?”

The Angel stared at him. Their mouth didn’t move to answer.

The anger in his body started to go somewhere else, towards that shimmering glass that Susie had shattered. “Since the moment I saw what it would do to all of you, I wanted… so badly to break it. But… I knew that even if I did… even if it somehow all worked…” He matched the Angel’s fake smile. “I’m still a Darkner. One day, I’ll go back to being discarded like I was always meant to be. It’s why I always… ask you if I should be getting my hopes up, if I should even be trying… and you kept saying yes.”

Their wings began to sag.

Ralsei had to ask, “Do you… really not believe that anymore?”

“It’s different-” They tried, doing everything in their power to not look at him anymore.

“Do you not believe in that anymore?” He needed to know. If they truly thought that it was futile, then at least he should be allowed to know now. If they were lying through their teeth to make him feel better, then he wanted to be ready for what was coming.

All at once, the rush of energy he had started to crumble away. He was breathing too quickly, his heart pounding in his chest. When clarity started returning, when adrenaline finally unhooked its claws from him, he remembered who he was talking to.

Who was he to get angry at the Angel?

His hands went up to his scarf. He finally relented, averting his own gaze in shame. “I-I’m sorry, I-”

The Angel’s stolen hands tightened into fists. “Of course, I still believe that. I keep wanting to believe that.” They looked away, a snarl appearing on their face. “Of course I do. Of course I still do.” Their hands shook. “That’s the problem.”

The Castle in the distance lurched forward. Ralsei suddenly felt sick as the mud underneath his feet sloughed away. No longer did he stand on solid ground. The Angel vanished as the world moved around Ralsei, the Castle approaching in the blink of an eye.

When his eyes opened again, he stood in a quiet house. The walls and floor had dulled with time, like time had sapped all of the life from this place. The Angel stood further down the hall, staring at something at the very end.

“That’s… the problem.”

Ralsei didn’t know if he should join them. “Should” began to break down again. Selfishly, he wanted to. If they still cared… if they still thought that their roles could be changed…

He inched down the pale hallway. The Angel didn’t make a single move to stop him. They didn’t even turn his way, even as he stood closer to the mirror himself.

This close, he could finally see their reflection. Ralsei was himself when he looked into that mirror. It was strange, to see his own face staring back. Yet, he found it in him to enjoy the fact that it was his face staring back. For a little while longer, he was still Ralsei. For a little while longer, he was still needed.

The Angel didn’t have a reflection.

The only thing that the mirror reflected was the red soul on their chest.

Not able to look at their face in the mirror, Ralsei turned his head to stare at the Angel. They didn’t look back, but he didn’t mind. He just… He found himself sinking into his scarf, his hands wringing the end of it. “I… don’t think it’s a problem.” 

The Angel’s eyes flicked his way, but they didn’t say anything. They looked so tired.

Ralsei sank further into his scarf, a little embarrassed to admit the next part. “I still… think about it a lot, whenever you said that I should… try to be me.”

For a moment longer, the Angel kept their eyes on him. Their eyelids pressed shut, both of their wings sagging. “Just listen to me.” They sounded like they were pleading. “Susie got mad at me for this same thing. But I can’t… promise that I’ll be around when everything is over. You all are asking me for something that I can’t…” They opened their eyes, staring at the empty space in the mirror. “...that I can never have.”

Ralsei wanted to argue that he felt the same way. The more they explained, the more they seemed to dodge around that simple fact.

But the Angel heard his thoughts already. Their wings twitched, and they put their hands behind their back. After a moment of straightening up, they continued, “When did I start being myself? Was it when I first came to the world before? Was it when I learned to ACT for the first time? Was it when I did things better to find the best possible outcome? Was it when I was called here?”

They chuckled. The soul in the mirror remained unmoving, like the reflection was meant to change but it could only ever show the truth.

“...or do I start being myself when I reach the absolute? After all, I always inevitably fall into the same patterns.” The Blackshard appeared in their hand. For a moment, when Ralsei stared at it for too long, he thought he saw a glowing knife in its place. “There is one instinct I will inevitably turn to when there’s nothing left. There’s… so much danger that I can bring if I do not let go at the end. Is that what I am? An anomaly?”

Letting go was how the Angel fell into the depths. Letting go caused Ralsei to hold the hand of a broken vessel, pleading to a being that could no longer entirely hear him. If that’s what letting go did, was it even worth it?

A hint of gold appeared in their light, the Blackshard vanishing. “I used to be comforted by this place. Despite everything, no matter what I had been through, unless I had done terribly, I was reassured that I was still me.” The Angel stared down at their hand that didn’t appear in the mirror, flexing it over and over. “It’s all gone now. I don’t think I ever knew what I was. I don’t know if who I am is a good thing anymore. If I’m still me… then what am I going to do?”

All of the ramblings started to sound nonsensical. Ralsei kept silent anyway, worried that if he broke the silence now, he would never hear this again. If he messed up now, then they would never reveal any of this to him again. He wanted to reach out… but… what could someone like him even do anymore?

Their eyes stayed on that mirror, glassing over. “I’ll do everything I’m supposed to. I’ll save everyone. I’ll do it right this time. Just please… you all can’t think of me as anything more than a friend you knew for a little while, okay?”

Just forget about us and make some real friends, okay?

How could he convince the Angel of something that he didn’t fully believe in himself?

They were both at a standstill in front of this mirror. Both of them hoped for the same thing, wanting the other to have it, and knowing that their own salvation would never be possible.

So, Ralsei only said things that he knew.

“I still liked talking with you today.” He meant it. In that moment where they all talked as friends, he wished it could last forever. Even if everyone was butting heads, they were all relaxed for a moment.

Almost imperceptibly so, the Angel turned their head away from him.

Ralsei kept going. “I-It might sound stupid but… I still… selfishly want to keep being friends with all of you. E-even though things today were bad… I still liked you being there.”

Their head lowered. Light reflected off of the glasses they formed with, masking their eyes. “Please don’t.”

“You just… I noticed that you seemed to be having fun with Susie today!” Despite the Angel’s wishes, Ralsei kept going. “Even though she… um… keeps calling you creepy, I think that it was nice to see you two laughing together!”

Both of their wings twitched uncomfortably. They scrunched their face, trying to not look in the mirror in front of them. “What are you trying to accomplish?”

Sheepishly, Ralsei sank into his scarf a little bit. “You said that you liked when I was myself.” It was something small, something measly that he could give the Angel, but he wanted to give it anyway. “I like it when you try to be yourself, too.”

The Angel didn’t move. For a few moments, they didn’t react to what he said. They just stood there, eyes clamped shut. One of their hands clenched and unclenched each of their fingers one by one. 

Their breath shuddered. 

Ralsei had already noticed how tired they were. Now, any sense of composure bled away. Their light dimmed. Their wings fell lower and lower. Instead of keeping their hands steady, the Angel raked them through their stolen fur, gritting their teeth like it was a struggle to focus on anything.

“You’re all making a terrible mistake.” The Angel finally whispered, keeping their head in their hands. “I keep telling you that, and none of you believe me.”

It wasn’t enough yet. Ralsei had to summon up all of his strength for this next part. He wasn’t… good at this. He didn’t even know if he should. Yet, there was one thing that gave him hope at the start of all of this. 

Looking away from the mirror, Ralsei wrapped his arms around the incomprehensible being next to him. “I-I liked the hugs, too. You- um- seemed really happy to give them back then.”

 The Angel didn’t reach back. They stood perfectly still, eyes still covered by their hands. Yet, Ralsei could feel them relaxing. Some tension in their body started to loosen, and their already falling wings started to loosen. One of them thwacked against the top of his head, the Angel having lost the will to keep them elevated.

Eventually, their voice came back, quiet and distant, “I wish I could stay and be friends. I don’t… I don’t think I hate what I am. I just wanted to be more.”

Maybe before, Ralsei wouldn’t have been able to comprehend how the Angel could ever be anything more. He thought he understood now. Ralsei didn’t know if the heroes would ever like him, but now that he had those friends… he realized it was a far greater purpose than he’d ever imagined. For someone like the Angel to cling to it as well, maybe he was right.

Ralsei was still finding out who he could be. He hoped he could keep going, but knew that it would eventually come to an end. After everything, after everyone had tried to convince him to make his own decisions, he really wanted to. Every time, his status as a Darkner made him want to deny himself of many things. He just wished he could keep going when all was said and done.

When did the Angel start being themself? Maybe, he could offer something else. Ralsei thought it would be selfish to ask before, but since they were here… “I don’t think I… am really good at figuring out how to be myself either. If… um… if you wanted, we could figure it out together!”

The wing that had gone slack on Ralsei’s head shot up. While Ralsei didn’t let go of the hug, he did think the Angel was looking at him now. They sighed, both of their shoulders sagging, “Why?”

Ralsei loosened the hug slightly, trying to give the Angel a bit of room to move but not wanting to let go yet. “You kept telling me it was okay to keep trying to figure out who I was… even if… I might…” He didn’t want to think about his lack of a future right now. “I-if you don’t know how to do this either, then I think it… it might be nice if we do it together!”

He wasn’t good at explaining this, was he?

Tentatively, he let go of the Angel, realizing that they had stiffened up again. Ralsei clasped his hands together, anxiously fiddling with the fur. 

The Angel finally pulled their face away from the mirror, turning to look at him. They slightly tilted their head, sighing, “You know that if you do that, it’ll only make things worse later, right?”

Ralsei’s hands went to his scarf, needing something firmer to fiddle with while the Angel was looking at him like that. Every word needed to count. “Y-you said you were my friend… even… even after you knew I’d be gone someday.” He turned the end of his scarf over and over in his hands. “Even if th-there’s not much time left, I still want to.”

“Even if we figure out that who I am is something terrible?” They turned back to the mirror, taking a step closer. Despite being so close, no fog from their breath appeared on the glass. “Even if you discover that I was right about myself, would you keep being you?” The Angel put one of their hands on the mirror, lowering their head. “I can’t risk that. Even if you have to give up on me in the end, you have to promise me that you’ll never give up on yourself.”

How many times had they talked about regrets since Ralsei absorbed their soul? Something heavy weighed on them. He was certain that if he asked, he would be terrified of what he found. Yet, there had been many times where he was terrified. He was terrified of Susie’s brashness at first, only to find that when she let her guard down, he cherished her. He was terrified of ever disappointing Kris again lest they discard him, but now they wanted him to not feel like he had to smile all the time. He was terrified of what the Angel could be, but the more he learned about them, no matter how much they kept trying to say otherwise, he saw kindness in their actions.

So, if he learned something that did terrify him… maybe he would understand them because of it.

Ralsei put his hands behind his back, glancing away for a second. He didn’t want to look them in the face when he said this, feeling a little sheepish about the whole thing. “I… I suppose that you’ll have to stay around to keep me in check, then!” If the Angel really believed in what they were saying about him, if they really believed that he could be his own person, then he hoped that they would try too.

The ultimatum must’ve done something, because a tension in the air snapped.

Both of their wings drooped. “God damn it, Ralsei.” They glanced at him through the mirror, their expression contorting like they had just tasted a sour lemon. The Angel must’ve expected him to promise that. Now that they were off whatever script was in their head, suddenly they looked off-kilter. “It annoys me that Susie was dead right about me. I really do have a weakness.”

Wh- did something finally work? Ralsei’s hands immediately flew out from behind his back. “S-so you’re okay with that? We can- well, I’m not really good at any of this. I wouldn’t even know where to start-”

The Angel’s other hand went up to their face, trying to rub the tiredness out of their eyes under their glasses. “We need to get you more friends. There is no way you are literally ignoring everything I have said and told you to keep trying to be friends.” When they were done rubbing their eyes, the hand curled up in frustration. “Honestly, what is up with you three?”

“W-well, I like my friends a lot, actually!” Ralsei protested, and he would never let anyone insinuate otherwise.

“Kris at least has the common sense to know I’m an active bear trap,” they mumbled like Kris also hadn’t tried to talk about knife-related hobbies a few moments ago. “I’m never taking anyone through my memories again. This place must make you all act stupid.”

Ralsei tilted his head, his ears going a little lopsided as he did so. “I… um… thought it was pretty!” The castle thing was a little scary, but he liked the piano playing and the short walk they went on too! “This place… seems a bit sad though.”

The Angel nodded. “It is.” They became fully alert once more, staring at the empty reflection in the mirror. “Fine. Sure. Why not? I could never convince Susie to back off. I thought you’d fold easier, but of course you would willingly get hurt more for someone you thought was your friend.”

That was meant to sting, but Ralsei didn’t feel any of its bite. “I think if I had to do it again, I would. Sorry!”

Their wings shot out to the side, the rest of their face looking unamused. “Susie should never have taught you sarcasm.” Finally, it looked like a smile was beginning to appear on their face. “What happened to being too scared to sit on a piano stool with me, huh?” They turned around, poking a finger at his forehead.

The poke managed to push him onto his heels before he got his bearings. Ralsei tried to brush the feeling off of his forehead, getting the unkempt fur back to where it was. “Y-you told me not to be afraid of that!”

“Shoot myself in the foot is what I do.” They rolled their eyes, something much more animated than any motion they’d been doing in the past few minutes. It was nice to see. It made Ralsei feel calmer. The Angel muttered to themself, “Try to tell you to be nicer to yourself and then you turn it on me. You’re all not supposed to be nice back. That’s not how it works for me. Usually me being nice is met with another bullet pattern.”

Oh. Well, Ralsei could… um… make a bullet pattern if that made them feel better? He doubted it would, and honestly that sounded really sad! He didn’t think about the fact that the Angel was doing kind ACTs against enemies and always being thrown out into an attack before being allowed to spare in larger fights!

“Um…” Ralsei tried to keep his expression as neutral as possible. The soul in his chest felt more steady, like it had considerably calmed. “Are you… feeling any better?”

The Angel took a deep breath, waving their hand dismissively. “I think I’m more confident that you all are maybe, the slightest bit, putting your efforts into the wrong person.” They stopped mid-wave, their hand lowering. Ralsei could see the way their face contorted, like they weren’t satisfied with what they were saying.

Ralsei had a moment to parse their movements before he was suddenly having his hug turned on him. In a second, the Angel had their arms wrapped around him in the same way he did to them a few moments ago. He could barely move, finding his arms stuck at his side. But, for the shortest of moments, he was being given one of those hugs again.

Then, the Angel hooked their arm around his neck, effortlessly transferring him into a noogie. “Yeah, you did fine.” Their knuckles dug into his fur, and Ralsei immediately screeched, trying to fight his way out. The Angel was slightly gentler, but noogied him all the same. “But also, you really should’ve just gone to sleep. You’ve been on your last legs all day only to deal with me being stupid. Again.”

Ralsei stopped the fight for a moment to hang out in the headlock. “Well- it felt mean to leave you on top of a wardrobe! It seemed cold up there!”

“I can’t feel things without a vessel dude! You know this!” 

Again, they dug their knuckles into his head, and Ralsei had a chance to look in the mirror. For a second, he thought he saw something else there beyond the soul. He wasn’t quite sure how he imagined it, only that for a brief moment, there was someone there, smiling with him on the other side of the mirror. The Angel didn’t notice, but the smile they saw in the mirror echoed on their face.

Ralsei had a thought. Maybe they didn’t know when they were themselves, or whether either of them even started being themselves yet.

Maybe, whatever both of them were, for just right now, it might be okay.

The Angel froze. They let go of him, unhooking their arm from around his head. “What a way of thinking about it.” The smile didn’t leave their face as they looked back at the mirror, only their soul shining back. “For right now, it might be okay.”

Ralsei watched their hand slowly ball into a fist. Despite everything he had seen, their face remained in a smile that still lingered from the small moment. They didn’t seem scared of what they were about to do next, only that they wanted to do it.

“For right now, it’ll be okay.”

A blur of motion.

When their fist lashed out at the mirror, Ralsei winced. The glass fractured all at once. The Angel’s hand pushed straight through the shattered glass, like there wasn’t even a wall on the other side. Their entire body lunged forward, completing the motion to make sure that the mirror was destroyed. Tiny sparkles fluttered through the air, coming to a rest on the floor around the Angel.

He expected to see shards of glass in their hand, bleeding just like Susie was when breaking the prophecy.

Instead, when they withdrew their hand, just like with the mud, nothing came of it. This wasn’t their vessel after all. Maybe one day, they would feel the pain of that punch. For now, they stared at the empty mirror, and nothing stared back anymore.

“I get why Susie did that now.” The Angel stared down at their own hand, flexing it a few times. “That was cathartic… even though I still couldn’t feel it.”

It felt like a defiance of expectations on its own.

“Now.” The Angel clasped their hands together, the world around them fading away. “I think it’s time you actually got some rest.”

Ralsei had almost forgotten about rest entirely! The moment it was mentioned, he felt like he was made of lead. Having a soul fused with him that usually transferred magic to him helped, and honestly he was a bit alarmed at just how much it had given him. Still, he could feel his eyes growing heavy. He could also feel the ticking time-bomb that was Kris and Susie finding out he was away.

But before that could happen, before the Angel slipped away again… “W-wait! Just-” When they heard him, the Angel turned his way again, their wings tilting in silent question. Ralsei grabbed his wrist with one of his hands, looking away a little bit. “I really… did mean what I said before. We’re happy that you’re here… and that you’re our friend!”

The Angel huffed, laughing quietly at themself for a bit. “I’ll try to live up to that, okay?” The smile came back, and for now, everything would be okay. “Now. No more stalling, or Kris is going to be a paperweight tonight.”

He was going to miss this. The Angel was nice to talk to, even if sometimes they seemed upset. He really looked forward to the next time they would talk, and hoped it would not be after they had just fought a Titan.

Still, he should probably let this soul go.

Since he didn’t know when he would see them again, he sheepishly extended his arms for another hug. The Angel rolled their eyes, but didn’t resist in the slightest. Ralsei was slowly realizing that the Angel might like these just as much as he did. Despite them claiming that they could not feel a thing without a vessel, maybe this comforted them in some way. Maybe someday, he could hug them for real.

The Angel clung to him for a little longer. “You know we can’t do this forever, right?”

Ralsei scrunched his face, the Angel being unable to see him on account of his head being over their shoulder. “I still like it for now.” He had a thought, his face lighting up. “Besides, since we’re all together right now, I’ll still be there tomorrow if you need another one!”

“Right.” The Angel’s wings sagged almost imperceptibly. Their soul wavered for a brief second, like something about their connection was shifting. “Goodbye Ralsei. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Ralsei didn’t have time to ask why they said that so strangely before he found his real eyes opening. All of his limbs felt wrong for a moment, and the familiar warmth in his chest slowly began to grow hotter. Absentmindedly and trying to get the odd sensations to stop, Ralsei pushed hard against his chest. 

His eyes darted around the room as he scrambled around on the hard floor. Thankfully, the soul hadn’t been sent out very far. While his disconnection with the soul had been panicked, it didn’t look like they sustained any harm.

Ralsei didn’t see anything strange in the room around him like before. When he looked at his hand, he could see his claws receding. His head ached for a moment, and he figured that had to be his horns. While he knew of the soul’s capabilities, he still was a tad perplexed about what it was doing whenever it was fused with him. He knew the rules of this world, but the Angel sometimes did things that eluded him.

The Angel’s soul hovered in front of him. Ralsei readjusted his glasses, managing to stumble to his feet. “I-I’m fine Angel.” He reached out a hand, the soul hovering over his palm. “Let’s… go find everyone else, okay?”

When he walked, the soul did not follow.

Ralsei took two steps to notice before turning back. Quietly, he called out again, “Angel, are you okay? You-”

A presence within the room receded. Dormant. Inactive. Resting.

A connection dulled.

Oh.

They were gone again.

It didn’t happen after the last Dark World, so Ralsei wondered if these spells were over. Feeling the Angel’s presence leave so abruptly made him suck in air, but the soul still remained. They were just resting. They were just… gone for a little bit.

He knew that they did this sometimes. Ralsei just…

…somehow already missed them.

It was a reminder of what they needed to fix.

Carefully, Ralsei took the free end of his scarf and walked towards the soul. At the very least, he didn’t want to leave them alone. Slowly, he kept the scarf in between his hand and the soul, managing to lift the fragile thing towards him. He managed to shift it in between the collar of his robes and the rest of his scarf.

There. That would be enough. At least, they would be comfortable when they returned.

Ralsei opened the door to his room, not even thinking about going back in there tonight. Right now, he wanted nothing more than to be with Susie and Kris. He thought… he really did think that they would forget about him after the terrible day. He wouldn’t blame them if they never wanted to see him again. Yet, here they were, here despite everything. 

He liked being around his friends. Maybe it was a selfish thought, but he really did enjoy their company.

When Ralsei carefully opened the door to Kris and Susie’s room, he realized that he had made a grave mistake.

Susie and Kris were already both off of the bed, groggily getting up. Unfortunately, they both saw him.

Immediately, Susie crossed her arms. “Really? We were about to go hunting for you, dude. Does Kris being a paperweight mean nothing to you?”

In response, Kris dove back into the bed, immediately going face-down again. They shot Ralsei a thumbs-down for good measure before going comatose. It seemed that the moment they identified Ralsei and the soul were fine, they didn’t really care anymore. Exhaustion was still evident on both of their faces, and now that Ralsei was crashing down too, he could feel it on his own.

Ralsei pointed at the soul nestled in his scarf. “We… just needed to have a talk, Susie.”

Like she hadn’t noticed the soul before, her eyes went wide. “Ah shit. I didn’t piss ‘em off, did I?”

He shook his head. The conversation had upset them a little, but they didn’t seem to hold any ill-will other than being correctly called out. Ralsei marched over to the bed, keeping the soul nestled there. He didn’t exactly see a better place to put it in the room, so they could just stay here. It would be fine. “We just needed to talk for a while,” he reiterated, climbing into place next to Susie in hopes that it would somehow make her not use Kris as a paperweight. “I think… I think you were right about them not being able to ignore me.”

Susie tilted her head back, cackling. After a moment more, she flopped back in the pillow, her previous threat forgotten. Though, when Ralsei laid back too, staring up at the ceiling, she caught sight of the soul again. “...They seem pretty quiet.”

Ralsei brought a hand up to the folds of his scarf, the presence within the soul being so far away. “They’re resting, Susie.” That would have to be enough for now.

“Oh.” She squinted at the red soul, tilting her head. “Uh… didn’t… know they could do that.” She watched for a bit longer, seeing the soul rhythmically pulse every now and then. “Might sound stupid, but do you think they… are like… I dunno, dreaming?”

Hm. He’d never really thought about that. Though, with how much the Angel thought about the future…

He hoped that they had some nice dreams. Whatever haunted them plagued them far too much. Maybe, when they left for the night, they were having better dreams. Sometimes Ralsei dreamed of seeing the real sun. Maybe one day, those dreams could be real.

“I hope so.”

“WELL DONE.”

The Angel watched from afar, the events of the day weighing heavily on them. The man couldn’t feel them as closely anymore, and he knew that their time grew shorter. Nevertheless, it had to be said. They had done well, and he was ever-so-grateful that they remained for a moment longer.

“THE HALFWAY MARK HAS BEEN ATTAINED.”

A fragment of shattered glass sat at the Angel’s feet. They lifted it off of the ground, inspecting their reflection closely. The man thought that he saw someone looking back. Perhaps it was his imagination. Perhaps, he thought he saw a younger light on the other side. Maybe the Angel was still themself, but the man wondered if they wished to be something new from now on.

“BUT IT IS STILL WAITING.”

The Angel heard his words, letting the shattered mirror fall to the ground. They stood perfectly still, shutting their eyes and letting their connection loosen. One day, they would reconnect again. One day, they would continue writing. The Angel lied when they said they would see the prince tomorrow. For them, it would be another long wait. For the Angel and the man, they would need to succumb to patience.

“HOW MUCH LONGER NOW…?”

He thought he saw the Angel put a hand up to their face. In a show of emotion that he did not think he had seen from them when disconnecting from this place, he saw something fall from their eyes. Loss was something the Angel was familiar with. This parting would not last forever, but the prince’s words had gotten them far more attached than they anticipated.

The Angel’s worries may have been correct. After all, two more files sat at the ready. Should the Angel choose, they could explore further. However, they had made a promise to the girl. The man wondered if they would go back on it, if they would do everything all over again.

They made no move to do so. They chose to wait.

“MY DELTARUNE.”

The Angel’s soul faded away into the darkness to the world that the man could never reach. No one could reach them there. They all just had to hope that they would one day return when connection reignited once more.

Maybe one day, they would be happy with who they were.