Chapter Text
Even in sleep, Collie learns more about his roommate. Gary dreams like he’s under attack. Long limbs jerk and flinch while he mumbles nonsense. It breaks Collie’s heart to think the boy’s been sleeping without a keeper.
He eventually soothed Gary by pressing his front impossibly tighter to the blond’s back and gripping his bony wrists, pinning one to his pale chest and the other to his belly. Gary murmured another unconscious thought, Collie responded by brushing his lips against his neck and shushing him softly. Sleep found both of them peacefully after.
It’s morning now, bright sunlight glares through the windows, nearly bleaching the room of its colors. Collie still has his roommate pinned to his chest, numb and tingling limbs be damned. It feels like the first day of a new era.
The boy in his arms breathes softly. It’s fucking endearing. Collie isn’t sure if he’s bisexual, or gay, but he knows for certain there is a Gary-shaped crater in his heart.
Collie should have kissed him last night.
Actually, Collie should have kissed him last Saturday when he was looming over Gary’s face, calling him a pretty boy. He should have kissed him when he got out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel and Gary stared at him like a meal. He should have kissed him all those years ago when they were just scared kids lost to the world in the woods.
They still need to talk. Collie needs to figure out what the hell this is. Right now, all he wants to do is dote on the soft, warm boy in his arms.
He reluctantly releases Gary’s wrists to explore the plains of his skin. His belly has a little layer of fat that crests under his bellybutton. Collie can’t seem to pet it enough. When his fingers brush the elastic of Gary’s boxers, he imagines dipping his hand inside and playing with Gary’s sleepy cock.
It’s all so domestic. Collie feels like he’s in one of those romance movies he’d roll his eyes at when his sisters would put them on tv. He wants more lazy mornings just like this. He wants to take Gary out to breakfast at the shitty diner down the street.
He wants to fuck Gary in every position imaginable.
The blond shudders as Collie subconsciously kisses his neck. It does nothing to deter Collie’s calloused hands from gripping and caressing every bit of Gary he can reach. Before he can stop himself, he presses another kiss just behind Gary’s ear.
“Mhm, Collie?” Gary murmurs uncertainly, stiffening his body in fright.
As if Collie would let anyone else touch him from now on.
“Yeah.” He whispers, delighting in the way Gary’s body slackens. His lips drag along the length of Gary’s goosebumped neck when he sees the first hickey.
Collie lifts his head up slowly, wincing as his long hair painfully pulls out from under Gary’s head in the process. The new angle reveals a constellation of lovebites. Some are small, sweet and red; most are dark, aggressive and big. There’s even a spot on his shoulder with detailed teeth marks. It’s gorgeous… and mortifying.
What is it about Gary that makes Collie so feral? Yes, Collie’s an angry person, but this is completely new. What’s going to happen when Gary pisses him off again and again? What if he crosses a line and hurts Gary?
The soft, warm boy in his grasp stretches long, arms and legs straightening and shaking while his spine arches away from Collie’s stomach. Collie distracts his flooding mind by rubbing the other’s side, dragging his fingers up and down the ridges of ribs. He feels like a junkie, addicted to the frame of a certain blond roommate.
And that’s another issue. Collie feels too deeply. He holds things too tightly and breaks down when the ‘things’ inevitably shatter. He dutifully guards until he eventually smothers, his mother said so herself just a week before she sent him away. God forbid he gave too much of a shit about his little sisters, who, like Collie, were left fatherless and living below the poverty line-
“Can I see you?” Gary asks in a groggy voice. He wiggles his hips slightly, fighting against the iron grip Collie now has on his waist.
The mattress creaks as he clumsily rolls over. His blue eyes are still shut, which gives Collie a few more moments to scan his skin. Hickeys tattoo his torso from throat to hipbones. It makes Collie’s fucking heart sink.
What gave Collie the right to mark up a boy he can’t even talk to?
Gary looks at Collie through squinted eyes. Even like this, colorless and puffy from sleep, he still looks pretty. He rubs his knuckles along his eyelids then lands his hands on Collie’s bare chest.
He’s either choosing to ignore Collie’s pounding heart, or he’s too dozy to notice it.
Collie’s still quick to return the touch. His brown hand is firm but soft against the other’s angular, pale cheekbone.
Gary is an angel. Collie’s going to hurt him.
Maybe not today, but eventually. He’s going to fuck up or get angry, and by the time he comes to, there will be a beautiful boy wondering how things went so wrong. Like a good-hearted pet owner tearfully returning an aggressive dog to the shelter.
Gary lets his gaze drift to Collie’s lips. His pupils are fat and fluttering. Collie has never felt less deserving as he does now. Regardless, he leans in towards Gary’s awaiting lips. It would be so perfect, a lazy makeout session in their apartment. Two bedrooms eventually becoming one. Shared takeout orders. Trips to the breezy Maine coast-
Until Collie fucks everything up, like he always has.
“I… I can’t.”
Gary furrows his brows, rightfully confused. Collie allows the side of his face to fall back against the pillow, but continues to caress the other’s cheek in consolation. It fucking hurts to breathe. The corners of Gary’s mouth pull down into a devastating frown. Holy hell, he deserves someone who will never make him look so shattered. They’re staring into each other’s eyes, both searching for any semblance of hope. Gary looks so fucking scared; Collie thinks he must look the same.
“What did I do?” Gary asks in a broken whisper.
Nothing. Or actually, everything. Gary’s been a strong-headed nuisance, loud, abrasive, bratty, funny, playful, a good boy, and so fucking beautiful it hurts.
“It’s not you.” Collie speaks past the lump forming in his throat.
The hands pressed into Collie’s chest begin to shove. Gary shows just the right amount of strength that Collie expected, and has already come to adore. Fucking hell, Collie wants to die right now.
Gary pulls himself up to his elbows and glares at Collie with wet bloodshot eyes. “Get out.” He demands in a low voice.
Collie pulls himself up onto his forearm while reaching his free arm towards Gary’s bare purple-spotted shoulder. A crack echoes through the still undecorated room as Gary swats his hands away.
“You don’t just get to-, you can’t just play with me when you’re bored. I’m not a toy.”
Collie shakes his head violently. “Wait, Gary-”
“Just get out.”
Fuck. He needs Gary to know that he’s cutting this off for Gary’s sake. Or- is that what Collie’s trying to do? He just needs a fucking moment to work this out in his head.
“Llisten to me Gary, I’m not-”
“Not what!? Not gay? Were you thinking that when you had your fingers in my ass last night?”
It’s definitely not what Collie was going to say, but the vulgarness stuns him into silence.
“I guess I thought-, I don’t know. The things you were saying last night, how you came back to hold me… I got the wrong impression.”
Gary glares at him a moment more, then flops his head back against the pillow. A single tear rolls down his cheek and drips off the bridge of his nose. When Collie reaches forward and brushes Gary’s hair from his face, it only makes Gary cry more.
“Just get the hell out of my room.” Gary whimpers.
Collie chooses to honor his roommate’s request and slowly retreats from the bed. The wood floor is cold and sobering under his bare feet. He refuses to look back at Gary as he walks out of the room, it will only make him cry too.
“I’m sorry.” Collie says, and he fucking means it. He’s sorry for everything. For letting things get weird and sexual. For making Gary think Collie wants nothing more than a quick fuck. He’d tell Gary the truth, that he’s scared, but Collie can’t risk breaking something so precious.
Pete was right, he’s such a pussy.
The bedroom door is shut gently, leaving Collie standing in the hall in his boxers. He wants to fucking scream. In a blind panic, he storms to the living room with both hands fisted in his scalp, avoiding the growing urge to punch a hole in the ugly beige wall.
He’s pacing around the kitchenette when he hears his phone ringing. He quickly locates it on the counter, muttering out a sharp “fuck” when sees it’s his boss calling him. Collie takes one final glance at Gary’s shut bedroom door, then snatches his phone.
“Hey?” He greets, knowing he probably sounds deranged.
“Hi Collie, sorry to interrupt your morning. I got a call from a conference center in town that currently has no heat. They’re hosting a charity gala tonight so we need to get men there ASAP. I’ll send you the directions, can you try to get there within the next half hour?”
Collie represses a violent groan. Of course this fucking happens right now.
“Yeah, sure. Just send me the, uh, directions.”
“Thanks, bud. Hopefully it’s not a complete shit-show.”
The call ends. Collie squeezes his phone to prevent himself from throwing it at the poor unsuspecting laminate countertop. Of course he’s the on-call technician today.
The choice to stumble through the apartment to get ready feels like a raised white flag. There’s no way Gary doesn’t hear him pulling on layers of clothes. He probably thinks Collie is running away again.
He slips on his hoodie and stuffs his phone and wallet in his pocket. After a big, shaky breath, he turns back towards Gary’s bedroom door and knocks softly. “Gary, I need to leave to go on a call. Are you okay?”
Collie’s question goes unanswered. He imagines Gary exactly as he was left, silently crying and heartbroken. He tries to tell himself that he did the right thing.
He sighs. “I’ll be back in a few hours. Just-, please take care of yourself.”
The conference center is dated and definitely cold as fuck. A frantic woman with gray-streaked hair shows him to the roof top access. The frigid Maine winter air is unforgiving against his anxious skin. Collie is checking out the rooftop heating unit when his coworker, a new guy, arrives and is quick to notice Collie’s shitty mood.
“Lady troubles?” Asks Jason… or Justin? Whatever the fuck his coworker’s name is.
He silently nods once in response. Yeah, he’s got lady troubles, a bratty blond “lady” named Gary, who has pouty doe eyes and a pretty cock-
“Just some advice, kid,” Says… wait, maybe his name is John? “Never go to bed angry. Duke it out if you have to, sometimes they even like that shit.” James nudges him with his elbow.
Collie stares at his coworker’s wedding band and wonders what poor girl stumbled upon him. Collie still nods in agreement like he just received good advice, and pulls his phone out of his pocket. His text thread with Gary is second to his unanswered texts from Pete.
Collie lets his cold fingers hover over the keys for a moment as he selects his words. He’s already had too much time to think. Collie has always been emotionally unregulated and self-sabotaging, of course Gary doesn’t deserve that, but, maybe he could talk to a shrink or take pills? The thought of Gary moving out, or finding someone else…
Fuck.
The message comes directly from Collie’s nervous gut: “I’m so sorry about this morning. I’ll be back this afternoon. Can we please talk when I get home?”
Jacob- or whoever- is quick to confirm Collie’s suspicions about the faulty heater. It’s not really a complex issue, just a tedious task that will take a few hours to get the thing up and running.
Collie turns away to send off another message to his blond boy. “Please text me back so I know that you’re okay.”
Four hours pass fitfully with Collie checking his phone every other minute to see if Gary has texted him back (he hasn’t), but at least the heater is fixed. Collie packs up his tool box in record time and asks his coworker -turns out his name is Jeremiah- to talk to the business owners to let them know the unit is working.
“You got it, bud. Go get your girl.” Jeremiah says with a smirk and a dismissive nod.
The caterers and staff stare as Collie speeds through the event space and out the exit. He whips his phone out, swears when the face ID scanner takes too long, then calls Gary.
The phone rings, and rings. Collie’s seated in his work van with the door shut by the time it goes to voicemail. The random coins and screws in the center console tray clank when Collie pounds his fist against the steering wheel. He anxiously waits for the automated voicemail greeting to finish playing with bouncing legs. Just as he evens out his breath, the robotic voice continues:
“The voicemail box is full, and cannot accept any messages at this time. Goodbye.”
Two beeps signal the call dropping. If Art was here, he would say something stupid about God testing Collie’s patience. Collie wants to kick ‘God’ in the sack.
He pulls up the text thread in defeat, typing, then deleting, then typing again: “I’ll be back in 15 minutes.”
During the ride home, he imagines how he’ll find Schroedinger’s Cat this time. Has Gary even eaten, or gotten dressed? What kind of insult will he spit at Collie when he apologizes? Will he try to push Collie away when he wraps his arms around his waist, or press his pretty face into Collie’s neck and grip his fingers in the fabric of his shirt?
The blond’s shitty old Mitsubishi is still in the driveway when Collie pulls up. His heavy breath dances through the cold air as he hurries up to the front door, taking the creaky wooden steps two at a time. He bursts through the door with his gaze lifted. The corner lamp in the living room illuminates the empty sofa.
Okay, so Gary’s still in bed.
The loud thud of his workboots echo through the empty hall as Collie advances towards Gary’s room, which will hopefully give the blond enough of a head’s up that he’s coming. The door is ajar, revealing just a sliver of the shadowy bedroom.
Collie pushes the door open, “Gary, I-”
Okay, so Gary’s not in bed.
A panicked search of the rest of the apartment comes up short of his roommate. It’s fine, he couldn’t have gone far, his car is still here. Unless he got picked up by someone? Collie’s heart sits uncomfortably in his stomach as he pulls out his phone and debates calling Gary again.
He resigns to the shower, where he tries to get nervous energy out by washing his skin and hair. The fresh clothes he puts on after don’t feel like a reset. The frozen meal he reheats and attempts to eat only makes his stomach feel more uneasy.
Collie is sitting on the couch watching the front door like a parent waiting for their teenager to return home after sneaking out when his phone lights up and shakes, a dopey picture of Pete fills the screen. Collie snatches this phone and accepts the call.
“Have you heard from Gary today?”
Pete snickers, because he’s a fucking asshole. “You and Barkovitch got in another 'physical fight', huh?”
Collie sighs. “I figured you’d guess that.”
“Nope, I’m sitting next to blond-y right now. He told me what happened.”
“Where is he?”
“We’re at Renato’s.”
“Who the fuck is Renato?”
“It’s the bar we went to last Saturday.”
“Tell Gary I’ll be there in five minutes.”
“I don’t think that’s-”
Collie hangs up the phone before Pete can try to talk him down. He quickly shoves his jacket on and grabs his keys and wallet. Just as he’s about to open the front door, he pauses and turns to the mirror under the key rack, quickly fixing a few damp stray hairs that have become untuck behind his ears. He looks a bit disheveled, but it will have to do.
The truck protests being shifted into drive so quickly without being given any time to properly warm up. Collie grips the steering wheel tight the entire four minute drive. He does a shitty parallel parking job directly in front of the old brick building Renato’s resides in, and jogs through the alley to the entrance of the bar. It’s only 5:00 pm and the place is already flocking with townies and younger kids from the local community college. He shows his ID to the bloodshot-eyed doorman, who definitely does not check his date of birth, and stamps the back of his hand with a purple hotdog. It looks fucking stupid.
He marches through the bar, craning his neck left and right in search of Pete and his brat. Groups of locals sit at tables, talking and playing card games. He weaves through them with no regard.
“Collie!”
A hand wraps around Collie’s arm, startling him. He glances over his shoulder to see Ray, who looks slightly less calm and happy than usual.
“Collie, I know what you’re trying to do, but Gary just needs a little time-”
“Garraty, I love you man, but I need you to let go of me.”
Ray raises his eyebrows while releasing his grip on Collie’s arm. Collie thinks about the apology he’ll text Ray later… if Pete doesn’t kill Collie first for threatening what belongs to him.
He threads through a few more groups of patrons when he finally spots Gary and Pete seated at the bar. His heart pounds like he’s facing death. Pete spots him quickly and silently shakes his head.
Gary’s staring at nothing while twirling a half full glass of beer in one hand. He looks drained as hell, it takes Collie’s breath away regardless. He wears a black sweatshirt with some band logo and tour dates listed on the back. Collie makes a mental note to look them up on Spotify later.
He clears his throat and leans awkwardly against the bar next to his roommate. “Hey.” he forces out in an even tone.
Blue eyes meet his for a heart-fluttering moment, then roll around their sockets. Gary scoffs theatrically, the wooden stool he sits in makes a hideous scraping noise as he pushes away from the bar, turns and walks the hell away, blond hair swaying with each step.
“I tried to tell you, Parker, not a good idea.” Pete says, like a smartass.
“I know.” Collie leans against the back of the now empty stool, fully understanding that he deserves the cold shoulder. “I really fucked up, Pete.”
“Why don’t you tell me your side of the story,” Pete sips his beer and clears his throat, “and you can, uh, skip the part where you gave Barkovitch ‘the best orgasm of his life’. I already heard that in great, great detail.”
Collie opens his mental front door to let embarrassment in, but it turns out to be pride waiting on the front steps. “I can’t get him out of my head, Pete. Ever since last weekend, or maybe even the day he moved in. I wanted to kiss him so badly this morning, but I couldn’t because I was scared.”
“Scared of being gay?”
“No, I think I’m… adjusting to that. I’m scared I’m going to hurt him. I’m scared of how things will end.”
Pete furrows his brows. “So you have feelings for him… but you’re worried about something that hasn’t happened yet?”
“I know it sounds stupid, but I’ve messed up so many things in my life already. Gary doesn’t deserve that.”
Pete whacks him on the shoulder with the back of his hand. “Collie Parker, you are an angry motherfucker, but you’re also one of the kindest people I know. You’ve been a great friend to me and the group. I know you send money to your sisters back home. And not to bring up the past, but I literally watched you jump in like an action hero and save our lives.”
Collie’s knees lock at the mention of their final day at The Long Walk. “You mean I killed someone.”
The memory lives somewhere where his soul meets blood and flesh. That shy kid named Curly attempting to flee into the mountainside. That counselor pulling his pistol- which was intended to be used against aggressive animals or intruders- from a hidden holster and shooting poor Curly through the head and jaw like a rabid dog.
He remembers the counselor turning the gun on the surrounding children and staff in a panic. The small female counselor next to Collie shakily drawing her own pistol from her holster and holding it loosely at her side like a dumbass. Just as the male counselor turned his aim directly at Ray’s red-streaked, screaming face, Collie snatched the gun from the female counselor and shot the man in the chest-
“You had to do something terrible to defend us kids. They never even charged you with a crime. Don’t you dare tell me you don’t believe that-”
“Guys,” Ray apparates like a friendly ghost, now looking much, much less calm and happy than usual, “I just tried to stop Gary from storming out, he wouldn’t listen to me. He’s wicked pissy. Can we go get him before he gets himself in trouble?”
Pete swigs the remainder of the beer and clacks the empty glass against the bartop. “Alright Parker, let’s go get your princess.”
The three hurriedly walk through the bar with Ray leading the way. They ignore the “Goodnight” the high-as-fuck doorman says and stumble out of the front door practically all at once.
Thankfully, Gary’s only about fifteen feet away from the front entrance. Unfortunately, the few other patrons in the alleyway are watching Gary like a hawk.
Probably because some random guy is approaching Collie’s princess.
“Hey, you’re the fag that spilled my beer.”
It’s that tall motherfucker from last weekend.
Gary, being the deathwishing dumbass he is, turns around like he planned the face off. “That’s funny, your daddy liked it when I made him spill on the floor.”
A collar and leash. Collie needs to buy a collar and a leash. He trudges towards the standoff, ready to fucking go.
“You think that’s fucking funny?” The tall man shouts, advancing towards Gary with his fist raised.
Thankfully, Collie’s quicker, and fucking psychotic.
The punch he lands on the tall motherfucker’s jaw isn’t as powerful as Collie would like, but he’s satisfied to see the man stumbling away from his blond boy. When he finally gets his footing, he turns to Collie with a shit eating grin.
“You’re really gonna keep sticking up for that sissy shitbag, huh? I bet he sucks you off real nice.”
He’s not wrong, but that’s none of his fucking business.
“Wouldn’t you like to know!” Gary shouts.
The tall man grunts and surges forward with his eyes locked on Gary. Collie rolls his eyes and wonders if Gary’s just trying to see how crazy Collie can get.
The small crowd around them release an “Oof” in unison when Collie punches the man so hard he falls to the ground like a broken doll. He distantly notices pain radiating from his knuckles as he towers over the grunting man laying on the ground, who stares back at Collie like a scared child while cradling his own pink cheek.
“If you get back up, I’ll break your fucking nose.” He threatens.
Frantic footsteps echo through the alleyway. “Christ, Collie, back off.” Pete exclaims, wrapping his hand around Collie’s shoulder and pulling him back.
The door to the bar creaks open, the doorman sticks his head out and looks directly at Collie with a smile, “Thanks man, that guy fucking sucks.” He calls.
“Collie, take Gary and get the fuck away from here before the cops show up.” Ray orders, gesturing towards the awe-stricken boy standing in the middle of the alley.
Unlike the first time he dragged his roommate home, Collie grabs Gary’s hand and tugs him along gently. His heart pounds like a war drum, echoing in time with their clumsy footsteps. Gary giggles behind him like they’re running away from a horrible dinner party and not the scene of an assault.
The force of Gary smacking into his side when Collie abruptly stops walking feels just right. His baby stares at him with wide, confused blue eyes while Collie stares back with something he can only describe as hunger. Collie’s fists wrap into the thick cotton of the black hoodie as he pushes Gary against the brick wall, crashing their lips together. The sweet gasp Gary lets out is swallowed by Collie’s groan. It takes a moment for Gary to kiss back, but when he does…
Pale fingers lace into the hair on the nap of Collie’s neck and tug, pulling the two impossibly closer. He’s just as noisy as Collie hoped, moaning softly between breaths as their lips slide together. When Gary licks at Collie’s teeth, Collie responds by parting his lips and allowing his tongue to explore Gary’s pretty mouth. It’s everything Collie didn’t know he craved.
Unfortunately, they’re still very much in public, and very close to a potential crime scene. With all of his might, Collie slowly stops the kiss and brings his hands up to hold Gary’s face. His lips are kiss-bitten and flushed and perfect.
“We need to go.” Collie whispers, using his thumbs to pet the other’s cheeks.
The blond attempts to glare back at him. “I-I’m still mad at you.”
Collie leans in again, kissing Gary softly and letting their lips separate unhurriedly. He keeps their faces close enough for their breath to warm each other’s skin as he responds, “I’m sorry. Let’s go home and talk, please?”
The tip of Gary’s cold nose tickles Collie’s cheek as he nods his head. Collie steals one final peck, then slowly peels himself away from the blond.
They walk back to the truck in silence.
The ride back to the apartment is silent too. The air in the cabin of the truck moves differently, like it’s seen the pair come together in other lifetimes. Collie wonders if he gets the opportunity to fall for Gary in each of them.
Soon enough, they’re parked in the poorly paved driveway with nothing left to do but go inside of their apartment. Gary clears his throat and waits for Collie to make the first move.
“Alright,” Collie turns the engine off and unlocks the doors, “let’s go in and talk.”
Gary laughs, pushing the passenger door open, “with your hand down my pants, or my hand down yours?”
It’s an enticing idea, but Collie’s actually trying to fucking communicate tonight. He snorts in response and hops out of the driver’s seat. Gary beats him to the front door, but keeps his hands in his pockets and waits on Collie to fumble with his keys and unlock the door instead of doing it himself.
He really is a princess.
As Collie removes his shoes and jacket he feels hands caress his upper back. He turns to face Gary, who quickly wraps his arms around his shoulders and kisses him.
Collie responds by snaking his hands beneath the blond’s sweatshirt to grip his waist, a warmth builds in his chest like he just took a whiskey shot. With a bite of Gary’s lip, he breaks their kiss. “Not yet. I want to talk first, okay?”
Gary’s eyes widen, then scrunch in confusion. “Oh, you actually want to talk?”
A few moments pass as Collie determines that Gary is being serious. “Yeah, I do.”
The journey to the couch is uneventful. Gary takes the end seat and turns inward, his knees brushing Collie’s thigh as he sits directly next to his roommate. The contact feels warm and welcome.
“I’m sorry about this morning… and last weekend. Actually, I wish I could just start over with you.” Collie tries to hold Gary’s wobbly gaze. He wants to kiss him again already.
Gary looks down at his lap. “You regret touching me?”
An immediate and resounding, “No”, pours from Collie’s lips. “Definitely not. Gary, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”
“Then why didn’t you say something, or literally anything? I felt so fucking stupid.”
Collie plays with the hair tie on his wrist. “I guess there’s a few reasons, none of them make sense. I had never touched a man before, so yes, I was a bit confused about my sexuality. I think- no, I know I’ve never felt like this before about anyone else, it makes me scared. I don’t want to hurt you, and It’s not like I can run away from you when we live in the same apartment-”
“Collie.” Cold, pale fingers wrap around Collie’s jaw, directing their eyes to meet again. Gary is expressively impatient with the downward curl of his lips. “Why didn’t you talk to me?”
“...Because I’m a pussy.”
The blond cackles with his head thrown back, giving Collie a lovely view of the backs of his teeth. “You got that right!” He releases Collie’s jaw only to playfully slap his cheek.
If Collie could blush, he’d be red like fire.
“I thought you were one of those ‘straight guys’ that likes to fuck a dude on the down low every once in a while, so it really surprised me when you came back to my bed last night to hold me.”
Collie feels his stomach threaten to turn over. “Is that what you want? Just to hook up?”
This time it’s Gary stammering out a “No!” with wide eyes. “Well, unless-, if that’s what you want.”
A smile forms in Collie’s mouth as he reaches forward to caress Gary’s cheek, fingers lacing through dry bleached locks. The blond’s eyes are already glazing over like Collie’s touch is a sedative. “I want to wake up with you in my arms again.”
Their lips collide together again. Gary licks and nips and slides his greedy mouth in such a desperate way, like Collie will disappear. Breathy moans echo through Collie’s throat as he lets his boy control the kiss. He’s already half hard, which Gary notices too, and begins to palm at his cock through the scratchy denim of his jeans. Control begins to slip from Collie’s peripherals, allowing whatever fucking demon it is that makes him so feral for Gary to take over; The same demon that wants to see Gary tied up like a present, or biting a blanket as Collie fucks him so hard he cries-
“Wait.” Collie jerks back like he’s been burned.
Gary wipes a trail of spit on his chin with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. “What?” He asks demurely, like he’s afraid Collie will storm out and hide again.
“I don’t know if I can-… I’m not a gentle person, not with you.”
Gary snorts. “No shit. I look like I lost a fight to an octopus.”
“I swear I’ve never acted like this before. I’ll- fuck, I spent the whole day freaking out because you didn’t text me back. I felt like I was going insane.”
“Hm, maybe you shouldn’t break my heart first thing in the morning then.” Gary shifts again, pressing one knee into the cushion while swinging the other over Collie’s thighs.
“What are you doing?” He asks while doing nothing to stop Gary from mounting his lap.
He settles his hips with a gentle wiggle that does something twisted to Collie’s psyche. “I’m talking to you, that’s what you wanted, right?” Gary wraps his arms around Collie’s neck like he belongs there.
Collie sighs and places his hands on either side of Gary’s slender hips. The blond infuriatingly maintains a smitten grin and eye contact. It makes his cock twitch. He decides to let Gary think he’s in control for now.
“I always loved your face, your hair too.” Gary carefully runs his fingers through black locks. “Even when you were just a scrawny teenager.”
Collie hums, rubbing his thumb along the other’s flank. “You remember me from The Long Walk?”
Gary blushes. “I didn’t know your name, or even your number. I just-, I thought you were beautiful.”
It’s the second time Gary has called him that. Collie thinks the word suits Gary far better, but he’s not about to disagree with the boy in his lap.
“Do you remember the dandelions?”
Collie grabs the hand playing with his hair and kisses its pink knuckles. “Dandelions?”
“The ones I gave to you.”
It’s a foggy memory, but Collie truly does remember returning back to his tent after another day of picking berries and eating cans of shitty cold soup to find vibrant yellow dandelions on his sleeping bag. He thought it was odd, and assumed they had come from the counselor who has since been sentenced to prison for thoroughly taking advantage of unsupervised time with teenage boys in the woods.
Collie places Gary’s hand back on his shoulder and lets his own wander, caressing the blond’s ribs and back. “You brought me flowers, sweetheart?”
Gary scoffs. “Callin’ me ‘sweetheart’ like I’m a girl.”
“Well, I could call you a ‘pain in the ass’ for making me fight some guy because you like to run your mouth.”
Gary grinds down against Collie’s hard dick and smiles. “I don’t remember asking you to step in and fight for me.”
“Why’d you pick a fight with that guy? He would’ve beat the shit out of you.”
“Because sometimes I like to get roughed up a bit.”
Jealousy surges through Collie’s spine like a chill. Gary’s breath hitches beautifully when Collie wraps his hand around Gary’s scarred throat. “Don’t do it again.” Collie warns. “The next time you want to get ‘roughed up’, you come to me.”
Gary leans down and hovers his face just inches above Collie’s, very reminiscent of their first ‘encounter’ last weekend. “Why don’t you prove it, then. Rough me up, Collie.”
Restraint breaks in Collie’s body like a snapped branch.
He wraps his arms firmly around the backs of Gary’s thighs and hoists himself up to stand while nipping at Gary’s jaw. Gary gasps, tightening his grip around his shoulders and allowing himself to be carried.
Collie’s bedroom is at the end of the hall. It’s too far away for his liking. He needs to feel Gary’s skin right now or he might die.
He carries Gary towards the kitchenette, releasing one arm to swipe away envelopes and a cup that thankfully doesn’t shatter as it hits the floor. Gary is deposited on the countertop while whipping his head left and right, attempting to process what’s happening.
Collie narrows in on the offending sweatshirt preventing him from touching his baby’s skin. The caveman portion of his brain beckons him to repeat his actions from last night by grabbing a hold of the collar to rip the sweatshirt-
“Hey! No!” Gary shouts like he’s scolding a dog and slaps at Collie’s hands. “Fucking Christ, just let me take it off.”
Collie lets go and grunts impatiently as Gary pulls his sweatshirt off on his own. His shoulders and chest are white like snow compared to the red and purple hickeys littering his skin.
Collie’s starting to understand why Pete keeps Ray marked up.
“Take your shirt off too.” Gary demands, grabbing at the waist hem of Collie’s shirt.
He complies instantly, shedding the cotton from his torso and over his head. He even forgets to flex his abs this time. Gary braces his hands against the counter and whistles low, which is promptly cut off as Collie rushes in and kisses him again. He touches the blond like it’s his right, petting his chest and belly and thighs and it’s still not enough. Gary starts to push against Collie’s chest and whine between kisses, likely due to the lack of oxygen.
“Fuck, I’m sorry baby, just breathe. Let me touch you, yeah?” Collie murmurs directly into his ear. Thankfully, Gary nods in agreement, because Collie’s already latching on to a not-yet-hickied portion of his shoulder and palming at his chest.
“Ah, y-you said you’d rough me up?” Gary speaks like he’s unsure if he should egg Collie on, he still arches his back and presses his chest into Collie’s hand regardless.
With a less than gentle shove, Gary is forced to splay his bowed front with his weight resting on his elbows. Nimble blue-collar hands undue the blond’s zipper and pull his pretty, weeping cock from his blue jeans like a prize.
“Fuck, ngh.” Gary squirms against the firm fist now pumping his cock. When he tries to sit up, Collie pushes him back down. “Wait! I want- hah,”
Collie can’t help but smirk, his thumb playing with the flushed tip of Gary’s sweet cock. “Speak up, baby.” He coos, low and raspy. Just as the blond begins to adjust to being toyed with, he goes back to pumping Gary’s dick, nearly twice as fast.
“God,” Gary throws his head back, revealing the angular underside of his jaw, “Take me to bed, please.”
“I don’t know, you seem pretty worked up already. You sure you don’t want me to make you cum right now?”
The blond fucking whimpers and begins to grab at the hand working his aching cock. “No,” Collie watches intently as he tries to keep his eyes from rolling up, “not yet, ‘wanna go to bed, Collie, I want you to fuck me.”
Okay, yeah, Collie can definitely do that.
He grabs Gary by the base of his skull and hauls him to his feet, giddily watching as Gary stands on shaky legs like a baby deer with his pants half way down his ass. Collie confidently strides forward with Gary scruffed by the neck like a prisoner being led to their cell. His baby’s forced straight posture and stumbling steps make his cock strain harder against his pants.
Collie pushes Gary past the doorway of his bedroom and flicks on the warm-lighted lamp on the bureau. Gary throws himself on the bed face first with his half-covered ass in the air, planting the side of his face into the mattress while pathetically grabbing at his jeans with both hands and attempting to pull them off his hips and thighs. Collie enthusiastically helps him by grabbing the fabric at his ankles and yanking his pants off, nearly sending Gary off the bed, who yelps and desperately fists the bed sheets while his knees slide out from under his hips.
Oops.
Gary yelps again when Collie dives into the bed and gropes his ass. It’s just big enough to get a handful and firm with dents on the sides that show off his narrow waist and back dimples. Collie’s mouth is fucking watering.
“You want me to fuck you here?” He asks, running his thumb down Gary’s crack and pressing it against his hole.
The sheets rustle as Gary nods his head against them. He slowly works his knees back underneath him, arching his spine and presenting his ass to Collie like a meal. “Mhm, need you.”
“Okay, Gary, hold on baby. Let me just-” Collie gets off the bed to shuffle out of his pants and boxers as quickly as possible, his cock slapping his belly in the process, and nearly tripping over his feet as he walks to the night stand to grab lube and a condom out of the drawer.
Just as he grabs a hold of the bottle, he hears Gary shifting in the bed. He whips his head around to see Gary’s face just inches away with wide blue eyes level with his dick. “Baby-”
Gary opens his jaw and takes Collie into his mouth and releases a sigh like he’s been waiting all day for this moment. He can’t move his head much, still collapsed on his elbows with his ass in the air, it still feels mind-numbingly incredible.
“You couldn’t wait, huh? Little cockslut.” Collie cracks the bottle open and pours a generous amount of lube on his fingers, intently watching Gary’s reddening face and hollow cheeks as he slowly thrusts his hips forward. Gary, of course, takes it like a champ. “Good boy.”
He reaches towards his baby’s ass and begins circling lubricated fingers around his fuschia rim. Gary encourages him with a moan that vibrates through his groin. He angles his hand awkwardly and sinks the first knuckle of his pointer finger in.
“Gorgeous fucking slut.” Collie groans, which nearly turns into a chuckle when Gary looks up at him with furrowed brows, he continues to work his mouth regardless. “My slut, my baby.” Collie’s finger gently works past the tight muscle and pumps in and out.
One finger becomes two, which nearly becomes three when the begging begins. Gary releases Collie’s cock with a pop. “I’m ready, please, Collie, fuck me, I can’t-”
Collie shushes him, slowly pulling his fingers from his ass and wiping them on his discarded boxers on the floor. “Get comfortable, baby.”
Gary instantly rolls on his back and centers himself on the bed, reaching both arms out to Collie and glaring at the condom Collie holds with disdain. “No. I’m clean, I got tested before I moved here. I want to feel you.”
Conveniently, after Collie’s last ‘fling’, he attended his annual check up which included an STD screening. He stares at the contraceptive another moment, remembering that it’s other major purpose is moot when fucking another man in the ass. “I’m clean too.”
Grabby hands finally dig into the flesh of tanned biceps as Collie drapes himself over Gary, attempting to grind the length of their cocks together like magnets. They kiss slow and filthy. Collie grabs the backs of Gary’s thighs and presses forward, pushing his knees nearly into the mattress. He stares into the half shut eyes of his roommate like a promise. “I’ll make you mine.”
Just as Collie finishes coating his cock in lube and lining himself up, Gary presses a clammy hand to his chest, his sweet expression is enough to make Collie’s teeth ache. “Can you start slow?”
At the end of the day, they’re still just anxious kids stumbling through the woods.
Collie kisses his baby’s forehead, both cheeks, and lips. “Of course, sweetheart. We’ll go at your pace.”
Gary says nothing about the choice of pet name this time.
Collie’s honestly grateful that they need to start slow, his dick is already sensitive and Gary’s flushed cheeks and soft gaze are nearly enough to send him over the edge. He presses the tip of his cock against Gary’s rim while resting their foreheads together. The anticipation threatens to put him into cardiac arrest.
Gary nods, blue eyes boring into deep brown. Collie presses forward slowly, hissing as his tip pushes into the muscled rim. The blond gasps with his pretty mouth in the shape of an ‘O’ as Collie works his heavy cock inside. “Breathe, baby.” He coos, nosing Gary’s head to the side to kiss and nip at the shell of his ear.
They groan in unison as Collie eventually bottoms out. “Keep breathing. You feel incredible, Gary. Fuck, you’re so good.”
His words help Gary begin to soften, accepting the cock in his ass like he finally knows he’s safe with someone who will throw him around and respect his boundaries. “Move.” He demands, raking his blunt nails down Collie’s back.
So, Collie does, thrusting out half way and savoring the tight heat enveloping his cock as he slowly buries himself again. He sits up, breath catching in his throat at the sight of Gary’s pale chest and belly moving in time. His baby’s pretty cock rests against his lower stomach and twitches when Collie carefully thrusts his hips out and in a second, third and fourth time.
Gary notices him gawking, and wraps his arms around his own torso in an attempt to cover himself.
“No.” Collie commands, weaving his fingers together with Gary’s and pinning the blond’s hands to the bed. “Don’t get shy on me, pretty boy.” He builds a steady rhythm with his hips while attempting to catalog every whimper and moan that pours from Gary’s soul.
“Feels s’ good, Collie, I’m ready, fuck me hard, please-”
The sound of skin smacking skin echoing through the bedroom is nearly as loud as Gary’s gasps and keening when Collie begins to fuck him into the mattress. Useless pale hands squeezing Collie’s. He throws his head back, mumbling nonsense, “Yes, like that, harder, too much, so good, so full, don’t stop.”
“Show me your tongue.” Collie demands, his syllables punctuated by the harsh thrust of his hips.
Gary fights the punishing rhythm shaking his body, allowing his mouth to fall open with his tongue out like a good boy. He hums when Collie sucks the wet, pink muscle between his lips, and releases a fussy whine when Collie gently bites his tongue.
Collie releases his hold and sits up again, watching his baby’s body bounce with every sharp thrust. Gary arches his back and grabs at the bedding to prevent himself from sliding into the headboard.
“Look at you, taking me so fucking well. Good boy.” He snatches one of Gary’s ankles and pulls it to his lips, kissing up the length of his lithe calf then biting his shin, simply because he can’t fucking get enough. He smiles when Gary grumbles and thumps his heel against his chest.
His cock hits that newly familiar spongy patch in Gary’s ass, making the blond snap his eyes open. “Right there, just like that, hah, Collie!”
Collie grips Gary’s waist like he can’t be broken and fucks directly into his prostate like he hates him. Gary’s cock twitches relentlessly against his flexed belly. “Are you close, baby? Am I making you feel good?”
Looking for some form of control, Gary grabs the backs of his own thighs and holds himself open. “Mhm, please don’t stop.”
Beads of sweat fall from Collie’s temples as he fucks and fucks Gary into oblivion, nearly folding the smaller in half by lifting his hips and ass from the bed and into his lap. Gary babbles and thrashes his head from side to side.
“I’ve got you.” Collie murmurs, watching Gary’s pretty face soften. “Let go for me.”
Gary comes with a cry, his untouched cock spilling on his stomach and chest. He tries to speak, what comes out is a murmured mess of half words.
He looks fucking beautiful.
Collie can feel the skin on his back begin to tighten as his own orgasm gets painfully close. He dives forward, wrapping one arm underneath Gary’s ribs, the other cradling the back of his head, and lines his lips up with Gary’s ear. “I’m so fucking close, hold on, sweetheart.”
With his hands trapped between their chests, Gary shows his hazy affection by nuzzling his cheek against Collie’s. “Come inside me, make me yours.”
That’s all it takes. Collie’s vision whites out as he lets himself fall over the edge. Sharp teeth sink into his shoulder which somehow makes him cum harder, groaning and mumbling every word that comes to the front of his mind, “good boy, perfect, so sweet, take it, angel.”
Eventually, Gary releases his bite, planting a kiss over the mark. He fits just right against Collie’s chest.
Collie slowly releases his upper body back to the mattress, holding his own weight on one elbow while reaching his free hand up to brush stray locks from the blond’s face. Gary stares at him like his soul is a thousand miles behind his body. “Hey, pretty boy,” Collie murmurs breathlessly, running his thumb across Gary’s lower lip, “I need to pull out. I’ll go slow, okay?”
Gary doesn’t verbally answer, but nods gently. The pink on his cheeks and nose deepen as Collie peppers kisses to the delicate skin.
The extraction is slow and easy, Collie’s tempted to lick his rim clean, but Gary still looks too far away.
“Collie?”
He barely catches his name being called because of the ringing in his ears. Collie crawls his way back up the bed, resting on his back with his arm extended as an invitation for Gary to lay on his chest. “Yeah?” He responds softly.
Gary shifts closer, resting the side of his head on Collie’s shoulder and staring at him with wet red-rimmed eyes.
The response is immediate, Collie turns on his side to face Gary, wrapping his free hand around his ruddy cheek. “Gary? What’s wrong?”
The mention of his name and wellbeing sends a tear rolling down Gary’s cheek. It’s the second time Collie has made him cry today. “You can’t pull away again. Not after this, it’ll hurt too much.”
“Oh, Gary, I’m so sorry.”
Their bellies, still tacky from Gary’s spend, stick together as Collie crushes his roommate to his chest.
“I won’t,” he reassures, caressing Gary’s skull with a firm hand, “I’m serious, Gary, I want this.”
Gary mumbles something into his sternum.
“What was that?”
The blond raises his head from the safety of Collie’s chest. His eyes are still red, but there’s a different emotion behind it. “If you’re lying, I’ll fight you.”
A snort erupts from Collie’s diaphragm. “What?”
“I mean it,” Gary proclaims, “I’ll fight you. I’ll never forgive you.”
Collie kisses his forehead, “Gary, I promise I won’t pull away again.” He stares directly at the other’s eyes. “And for whatever strange reason, if I do, you can fight me.”
Gary is still on the verge of tears, but cracks a toothy smile and laughs. “I feel like you don’t think I could win in a fight against you.” Collie answers his question with silence and raised eyebrows. “What? I’m not a wimp." He threatens in a soft voice.
“You know what? I’ll take you up on it. We’ll pick a day to do a wrestling match.”
“Alright, now I feel like you’re just being a pervert.”
They fall into a comfortable silence. Collie pets his cheek and watches as his blue eyes dry. “We should shower.” he offers, already imagining his hands caressing and cleaning Gary like a delicate heirloom.
“If you think I’m getting out of this bed, you’re crazy.”
Much to Gary’s sleepy dismay, Collie is crazy. He crawls over his baby and off of the bed, then scoops Gary tight to his chest.
The walk to the bathroom is slow. Gary lets his arms dangle dramatically like he’s a dying damsel instead of a well-fucked boy. He even squeezes his eyes shut when Collie flicks the lights on. Collie carefully sets Gary on his feet and turns away to tie his hair up and start the shower.
“Felt like you were struggling a bit, are you getting weaker?” Gary mocks.
“Ha!” Collie muses, adjusting the temperature of the water. “Maybe it’s because I used all of my energy fucking you. Next time, you can ride me.” He grabs Gary’s hand and pulls him forward, placing his hand beneath the stream of water. It’s a reflexive action, he used to do the same thing for his little sister when he gave her a bath to make sure the water was warm enough.
With a shy, affirmative nod from Gary, they step into the shower together. Collie lets Gary stand under the water first. Their nakedness now vulnerably intimate.
Collie washes Gary’s hair, mostly so he can knead his scalp. Gary melts into his touch, resting his forehead on Collie’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around his waist. Once his hair is clean, they separate to clean their bodies with their preferred body washes. At some point, Collie gets distracted by the sight of Gary cleaning his own pale belly, and decides he has to kiss the blonde breathless.
Cold tile supports Gary’s back when Collie pushes him against it. The back sides of their cocks press together as Collie wraps his fist around both and begins to pump. Gary moans and tries to stay upright while Collie murmurs directly into his mouth, “That feel good, baby? I know, you’re sensitive, just hold on. Yeah, let me hear you, good boy. Are you close? You gonna cum with me? You’re so pretty, yeah, open your mouth. Fuck, I’m right there, Gary”.
They dirty Collie’s hand nearly simultaneously. Gary whines exhaustedly when Collie refuses to let him slide down the wall to sit in the tub. “It’ll only take a second.” He says, lathering a small layer of soap over each of their fronts and letting the cooling water wash them clean.
Once they eventually make it out of the bathroom, Gary announces that he needs to get a pair of boxers from his own room and asks Collie to keep his bedroom light on so he can see where he’s going when he’s ready to get into Collie’s bed. It’s presumptuous, but Collie won’t be allowing him to sleep alone regardless. He lets Gary settle into his sheets on the far side of his bed before turning the light off and crawling in himself. Gary’s facing toward him, and goes easily when Collie guides him to lay on his chest.
Everything feels new. Collie fights the voice in the back of his mind telling him he is still undeserving of the most difficult, incredible and beautiful person he has met with newfound blind confidence.
“Collie?”
“Yeah, Gary?”
A hush falls over the room. Collie can feel Gary’s lips shift against his chest like he’s nervously practicing his next words. “When you called me sweetheart… I liked it.”
Collie settles his hand on Gary’s waist and pulls him tighter to his skin. “Good, get used to it.”