Chapter Text
Mine. Hermione thought as she tightened her fingers in Draco’s (he hadn’t truly been Malfoy for a long time) nape and arched upwards, searching for more contact, even as he covered her body with his.
I need him. He is mine.
Hermione couldn’t find a justifiable reason to fight the bond between them any longer, and she didn’t want to.
Because kissing Draco again made every moment they’d spent battling their feelings seem futile, wasted, like this was the very reason she’d been put on this earth - to find this man and meld her body and soul with his until they were one being, one tangled mass of hearts and mouths and panting, sobbing breaths.
‘Granger,’ he said, rolling his hips so that Hermione gasped at the obvious, hard press of him against her lower belly.
‘Granger,’ pulling her bottom lip between his teeth and biting down gently.
Hermione could barely hear him through the rush of blood in her ears. She raked her nails down his back, moaning into his open mouth. His breathing was ragged, and when she closed her lips around his tongue and sucked, he made a strangled sound, pulling away with a soft laugh and pressing his damp forehead to hers. ‘I have to stop,’ he managed to get out, his heart hammering against her chest. ‘If I don’t, I’m going to pass out or…or something equally as embarrassing. I just need a second.’
With a jolt of concern that smothered the need lancing through her, Hermione scrambled out from under him, pressing her hand to the back of his neck as he collapsed facedown on the bed and groaned into the pillow, fingers fisting in the sheets.
‘Are you okay?’ She reached for her wand, casting a quick diagnostic and then handing him another vial of Blood Replenisher, which he swallowed without argument, his lips swollen, his hair a riotous tangle of blonde.
‘Sorry. I don’t think there was any blood left to make it to my brain.’
Hermione laughed, a new wave of longing washing over her. ‘It’s alright. Take as long as you need.’
He lay down, his hot cheek pressed to the pillow, his eyes locked on hers while the potion took effect. When he seemed to be more in control of himself, he reached out to check his wand, listening for the steady pulse of Aurora’s heartbeat over the monitor before turning back to study her quietly.
‘I was so sure that today was going to change things for you,’ he said eventually. ‘I would have completely understood if it did.’
Hermione shook her head. ‘Like Theo told you, I’m not going anywhere, Draco. I can’t.’
His expression remained hesitantly guarded. ‘So, what is it, exactly, that’s happening between us right now, Granger? Because truthfully, I’m a little confused.’
Guilt burned its way along the back of Hermione’s throat, the realisation that over the last few months she’d given a struggling, inexperienced man a thousand mixed messages. She’d kissed him, then told him they should just be friends, she’d kept him close, even gone as far as the things they’d done over the phone, but then told him he wasn’t ready. All she’d done in her desire to do the ‘Right Thing’ was torture him, leave him aching for something he didn’t even know how to understand.
‘I just can’t fight this any more,’ she whispered, voice thick with the tears she’d been on the verge of shedding since the care home. ‘I can’t keep telling myself that the feelings I have for you are under control, that I don’t spend every moment of every day thinking about you and Aurora, that I don’t crave your proximity every second I’m not next to you.’
He looked blindsided by her confession, as though somehow, despite everything, her words still came as a shock.
‘I’m thirty years old,’ she continued. ‘I’d started to feel like real love was never on the cards for me. I wondered if Neville was right, that I was just too damaged by the war-‘ he flinched. ‘Or if I spent so much time working that l had nothing left to give.’ A scowl creased his brow as he sat up, no doubt about to give another opinion on Neville. ‘But then you came back into my life, and even though the circumstances were terrible and you had so much going on…I…I fell so quickly as I got to know the man you’ve become. And I still feel so guilty about it because I know it was wrong, that you were grieving and I was supposed to help you and Aurora, not covet you. And I’ve watched you struggle, and fight, and God, I’ve watched you love, Draco, love with everything you have, despite all the reasons the world should have turned you cold. And now I just want to hold you, and look after you and be a part of your lives in any way that I can…’
‘Granger.’ Hermione stopped, cut off by the look on his face. ‘Go back a moment.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘What you said at the start-‘ he wasn’t breathing, his body held taut. ‘You said, real love…that you didn’t know what real love felt like…’
Hermione swallowed past the lump in her throat. ‘I didn’t, I don’t think…’ she admitted. ‘Not until I fell in love with you.’
His eyes widened, his jaw falling slack.
She lifted her hands in surrender. ‘I love you, Draco. I have done for a very long time.’
He was silent for so long that Hermione wondered if she’d made a mistake, if somehow, through everything, she’d wildly misread the situation between them.
‘And…Aurora?’ The question was quiet, just barely solid speech.
She let out a shaking breath. ‘I love both of you. So much I can hardly stand it.’
For a terrifying moment, Hermione thought he might be about to cry. Then slowly, a smile unfurled over his face, bunching his cheeks and bringing out the eye crinkles, deeper than she’d ever seen them. He leaned forward, using two fingers to lift her chin so he could kiss her gently on the mouth, one hand sliding into her curls. Hermione wrapped her arms around his neck, wondering if she might be about to burst into flames. ‘I’m really in love with you, too.’ He kissed her again on the corner of her lips, moving below her ear, sucking tenderly over her pulse point so that Hermione could barely think past the fluttering in her throat. ‘I love you, Hermione,’ quiet - like he was testing it out. ‘I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.’
Hearing him say the words a second, third, fourth time was no less life-altering. Despite everything it had taken to get them where they were, despite knowing for a very long time that what was happening between them would change her forever, actually hearing the words leave his mouth felt like too much to process, even more so when he added, ‘I feel like I can’t fucking breathe without you.’
Hermione pulled him closer, twisting her fingers in his T-shirt so that he was half on top of her again, his palms pressed into the bed. ‘This is what you want?’ He searched her face. ‘You’re really certain, even with…everything that means?’
Hermione moved her legs apart, letting him slip back into the cradle of her hips. ‘You are what I want,’ she pulled him down so that they were eye-to-eye. ‘I want all of you, Draco.’
He groaned quietly as she locked her ankles back around his waist, making her insinuation clear. He looked at her under long lashes and Hermione could see he was still unsure, doubting whether he’d really understood the subtext of what she’d said.
So that there was no more confusion, she reached for his wrist, guiding his hand to her chest and encouraging him to cup her through the thin cotton of her dress. They both inhaled sharply at the contact, his palm immediately closing around her breast, thumb brushing featherlight over her nipple.
Hermione arched her back, pushing herself more firmly into his hand. ‘Fuck,’ he rasped, his other hand gliding up her thigh, rucking her dress to her waist as she rocked against him, helplessly seeking more friction. Their kisses quickly grew messy, teeth clashing as his tongue licked hungrily into her mouth. Hermione panted against his lips, aware that she was probably pulling too hard on his hair but needing something to ground herself, to stop her from simply floating away.
‘Are you alright?’ She asked on a hitching breath. ‘Do you feel okay?’
He nodded wordlessly, refusing to disengage his mouth as he began kissing his way down her neck again, nipping along the column of her throat and scraping his teeth over her collarbone. Frantic, Hermione yanked the straps of her dress down along with her bra, her breasts spilling out against his chest, pushed upwards by the bunched lace. He muttered something in what could have been French or Spanish, dipping his head so that he could take her nipples into the heat of his mouth one at a time, wet tongue flicking, sending bolts of lightning directly to her core.
Hermione bowed even further off the bed as he slid a hand down her spine, spreading his fingers out to lift her, holding her more firmly against him. She could feel how affected he was by what they were doing, hard and hot and throbbing between them, pulsing with a need that made her feel almost insensate with lust, her whole body on fire as he found the edge of her knicker line, fingertips running over the lace before slipping just barely inside.
‘Draco,’ she whined, tilting her pelvis upwards. ‘Please.’
He let go of her nipple with a pop, finding her mouth again and kissing her as he rocked harder between her legs, knees widening to gain more leverage, dragging the length of himself over the wet gusset of her knickers with each slow roll of his hips. Hermione dug her heels into the flexing muscles at the backs of his thighs, encouraging him to move faster, desperately wishing there were less barriers between them.
She reached down, curling her fingers into the back of his boxers and dragging them as far down as they could go before they caught on the head of his erection and she gave up, gripping two handfuls of firm flesh instead, squeezing hard. He moaned against her lips, ripping his mouth away just long enough to reach overhead and pull his t-shirt off, throwing it somewhere on the floor before shoving his boxers unceremoniously to his knees.
Suddenly, he was right there between her legs, his cock bare and hard and wet at the tip, temptingly close to where she needed it. They both paused, and Hermione could feel the way he trembled with restraint, the muscles in his shoulders flexing as she ran her hands over smooth, tattooed skin.
‘Is-is this too much?’ His mouth hovered over hers, hot breath tickling her open lips. ‘Do you need me to stop?’
‘Please don’t.’ She exhaled in a rush. ‘Don’t stop, Draco.’
He swore again, looking between them as he hooked his fingers carefully inside the damp strip of her knickers, knuckles grazing where she was already slick and swollen, more than ready for whatever happened next. Heat flared through Hermione at the contact, her thighs twitching as he gently pulled the lace further to the side, baring her to the cool air of the room. ‘Oh my god.’ The muscles in his forearm quivered as he held the material outwards, grey eyes fixed between her legs. ‘Oh god, love, look at you.’ Hermione had never been observed with such reverence, not there, not anywhere.
After a moment, his gaze lifted to her face again and the desire she saw there made her head swim. ‘Can I?’
She nodded, lifting up to allow him to pull her knickers down her thighs and past her calves. He unhooked them delicately from around her ankles, crushing them in his hand before laying them down on the bed.
Now the only thing left was Hermione’s black dress bunched around her waist, her bra pushed under her breasts, lifting them upwards, her nipples pointing in hard, stiff peaks. Draco’s attention raked painstakingly over her body, taking in every inch of bare skin he could find. ‘You’re the most beautiful woman in the world.’ He said, dipping his head so his lips brushed her nipple with each syllable, circling lightly with his tongue while his fingers trailed slowly along the inside of her thigh. ‘And I’m the luckiest man alive. I could never deserve this privilege.’
‘Draco,’ Hermione sighed, threading her fingers through his hair again and tightening them, tugging his head back so he was looking at her face.
He held her gaze for several seconds, his cock throbbing against her thigh.
‘I’m going to cast the contraceptive charm.’ She told him hesitantly. ‘We don’t have to use it, but it’s there, just in case.’
His eyes darkened even further as he nodded, teeth sinking into his bottom lip. Hermione reached towards the bedside table, finding her wand and pointing it at her belly, muttering the words under her breath.
She left her wand on the bed and wrapped her arms back around Draco’s neck as he kissed her again, his lips warm and gentle, his forearms pressed into the pillow either side of her head. ‘I’m nervous.’ He admitted softly, and Hermione could feel it in every tremor of his body, the strength and power he was holding back evident in every straining sinew. ‘I don’t want to hurt you.’
‘You won’t.’ She reached between them, wrapping her hand carefully around his cock, squeezing lightly as she pumped once.
His reaction was instantaneous. His head tipped back, throat stretched long. ‘That’s…fuck, Granger. Oh shit.’
Hermione flushed. She’d never gotten such a dramatic reaction to just her hand before. Unable to stop herself, she did it again, mildly alarmed and ridiculously turned on by the level of his responses, the way his cock throbbed in her grip, his face dropping to burrow deeply into her shoulder.
‘That feels good?’
His laugh was low, his voice muffled. ‘Too good. We might need to be careful or I’ll ruin this before we even get anywhere.’
Shuddering against a sharp pulse of arousal, Hermione nodded, relaxing her fingers a little as she swiped her thumb over the tip, feeling his cock jump in her hand. She spread the precum around, stroking him with a slow, loose fist, making sure she didn’t give him too much.
‘Can I touch you too?’
Hermione opened her eyes to find him looking at her again, his nerves still heartbreakingly apparent. ‘Yes,’ she nodded enthusiastically. ‘You really don’t have to ask.’
He swallowed hard, sliding one hand back between them. Hermione tensed in anticipation, already so primed for him that the first brush of his fingers over her center had her gasping, her own hand tightening on his cock.
She could feel his smile against her lips.
‘Yeah? This is okay?’
Hermione couldn’t answer because now he was moving slowly, two fingertips running in slick, expertly light circles, each pass over her swollen core sending a torrent of sensation flooding through her body. Immediately, she began climbing, tightening, simultaneously overwhelmed and desperately needing more. His fingers were just this side of too gentle, his touch maddeningly delicate in a way that set something building in her lower belly, slower and more intense than anything she’d ever felt before.
‘Draco,’ she panted, jaw clenched, her other hand clawing at the back of his neck. ‘Draco, I need-‘ she didn’t get to finish her sentence because suddenly he was doing it, one long finger slipping just inside. She let out a small cry, her stomach muscles clenching, her body curving inwards as he added another finger, pushing in then retreating, circling again. It was excruciating, torturous, perfect. Hermione had never been touched this way, never had her reactions read so closely, every single movement directed by her pleasure and how to increase it. With every exquisite circuit of his fingers, Draco now began sliding them further inside, speeding up, his breaths getting louder and faster in time with her own. Belatedly, Hermione realised she’d almost forgotten she had his cock in her hand, so distracted she’d been by how he was touching her. She tightened her fist and he moaned loudly, huffing into her ear as she began gliding up and down again, lifting her face to find his mouth and kiss him, his tongue flicking over her lower lip as Hermione keened and clenched and dug her nails into his shoulder. He kept his fingers inside now, using his thumb to circle and oh, it was too much. Hermione could count on one hand the number of times a man had made her come like this, but none of those had been Draco, and everything about him made it more overwhelming - his soft tongue, his scent, those damned fingers that were now curling against her G-spot - she couldn’t stop what was happening. Pleasure coiled higher and higher, building to a crescendo in her lower belly, radiating outwards in waves. She was sobbing against his mouth, riding the crest she was about to violently tumble over. ‘Draco,’ she said over the shaky sound of his breathing. ‘Draco, I’m-‘
‘I’m going to come.’ He said suddenly, gruff and low against her lips. ‘Fuck, Hermione. You feel too good. I can’t last -‘
A loud knock at the door had both of them crying out. They sprang apart, Draco practically army-rolling across the bed to grab his wand as Hermione lay in the rumpled sheets and felt a mind-bending orgasm ebb and then retreat, her whole body shuddering with the nearness, her limbs loose and heavy, completely out of her control. He aimed his wand at the door, cursing as Pansy’s voice came through the wood.
‘Draco, love. Are you okay? Can I come in?’
‘One sec.’ He called, voice hoarse. ‘I’m…naked. Let me put something on.’
Frantically, Hermione crawled off the bed and began trying to pull up her dress, looking around for her knickers, which seemed to have disappeared from where Draco had left them.
‘Shit.’ He said, swaying dangerously as he stood up, and Hermione felt an embarrassing flash of heat as she saw how hard he still was, how close he must have been before their interruption. ‘This can’t be happening to us again. What bloody time is it?’
‘It’s six,’ she replied, glancing at her watch. ‘Is that not a bit early for Pansy to be here?’
‘She’ll have work,’ he paced around, also hunting the room for his clothes. ‘She always starts early.’
Despite her panic, a giggle bubbled up in Hermione’s chest. ‘What are we going to do?’ She abandoned the task of looking for her knickers, yanking her dress down over her hips as she ran a hand through the tangle of her hair. ‘You just told her you were naked. Pansy can't find me here.’
He paused to look at her, his hair sticking up in wild spikes. ‘Fuck. I did.’ He picked up his boxers, stepping into them and grabbing onto the bedpost as he wobbled again. ‘Uh-‘
‘Draco? I’m worried about you. I’m coming in.’
Hermione barely had time to think before she found Draco’s wand pointed at her, a murmured incantation and then suddenly she was Disillusioned, her corporeal body disappearing as Draco jumped onto the bed and flung the covers over himself, lying down with his eyes closed just as Pansy pushed open the door.
Pansy Parkinson was a shrewd woman.
Despite only really getting to know her over the last ten months, Hermione was fully aware that out of everyone in their friendship group, Pansy was the one most likely to call bullshit when she saw it.
Almost immediately upon entering the room, Pansy seemed to sense something was off. From her position next to the wall, Hermione watched the other woman take one step inside and then pause, her eyes narrowed as she cast around the dimly lit space.
On the bed, Draco’s eyes flashed open before hurriedly closing again as Pansy walked further into the bedroom, pausing to look down at him huddled beneath the sheets.
‘What’s going on?’
It was an effort not to laugh as Hermione watched him crack one eyelid open, peering innocently up at his friend.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Something’s weird.’ Pansy said, frowning. ‘You’re weird.’
Draco sat up, and Hermione stifled a gasp as she saw the scratch marks she’d left criss-crossing down his back. ‘I’ve seen you naked plenty of times. Why are you suddenly pretending to be shy?’
Fighting an unreasonable wave of jealousy, she observed Draco flounder. ‘I’m not shy. I was just…tired.’
‘Theo said yesterday’s Legillimency was really bad,’ Pansy continued, still eyeballing him suspiciously. ‘He said that Granger saw it and was too scared to leave you alone afterwards.’
Draco drew his knees up under the sheets, not quite looking Pansy in the eye. ‘It was uh - quite a difficult session, yeah.’
‘He said you almost bled to death!’ Pansy cried suddenly, and Hermione realised just how upset she really was. ‘That’s more than just difficult, Draco.’
‘I didn’t…almost bleed to death,’ he was visibly cringing. ‘You know how Theo tends to exaggerate, Pans. It just took a bit longer to find her this time, that’s all. She’ll be okay now for a bit.’
Hermione felt her own infuriation match Pansy’s as the other woman swept past her, moving to sit next to him on the bed. ‘Don’t you lie to me, Draco Lucius Malfoy.’ Pansy put the back of a hand to his forehead. ‘You’re a mess and you’re boiling hot. It’s like you’ve been wrestling a wildcat in here.’
Despite himself, Draco appeared to fight a grin, his eyes darting up to where Hermione had last been. Forgetting she was invisible, she covered her face with her hands, her cheeks burning.
‘Night terrors?’ Pansy asked, and his amusement immediately fell away, the ghost of a smile disappearing. ‘I’m guessing about your mum this time? Or was it Astoria again?’
‘No - I didn’t -‘ he began tersely.
‘Because you have to tell your mind healer that the nightmares are still bad,’ Pansy’s glossy lips pressed together. ‘Maybe she can give you something to help.’
‘Stop. I didn’t have any night terrors and my bloody mind-healer knows, okay? I don’t think a few bad dreams are anything out of the ordinary, and they’re getting better. I’m sleeping much more than I used to.’
‘Why don’t you talk to Granger?’ Pansy suggested, her tone gentle now. ‘She finally knows about your mum, after all your worrying about how she’d react. Maybe now she can help you get a clearer picture of what happened to Astoria, so your mind doesn’t keep-‘
‘Pansy!’ It was the loudest Hermione had ever heard him speak, and Pansy looked shocked too. Her mouth snapped shut, her eyes wide with surprise. ‘S-sorry,’ he backtracked immediately, looking sick with guilt. ‘Sorry, Pans. I shouldn’t have shouted at you.’
Pansy said nothing, her eyebrows disappearing beneath her fringe.
‘Sorry,’ he said again, pulling Pansy into a bear hug and holding her tightly until she relented and hugged him back, rolling her eyes when he propped his chin on the top of her head. ‘I will. At some point. I promise.’
‘You smell like Hermione.’ She said after a moment, sniffing the skin under his jaw. ‘Like her perfume.’
‘Huh.’ His eyes flitted back over to where Hermione stood. ‘I mean, she was here for a bit last night.’
Pansy looked around the darkened room. ‘She didn’t stay, though? Theo seemed to think that she did.’
Suddenly, Hermione became aware of something black and lacy, sticking out of the blanket under Pansy’s bum. She squeaked, barely managing to muffle the sound as Draco noticed too, quickly gathering Pansy back into his arms and mashing her face against his bare chest while he swiped at Hermione’s knickers, stuffing them behind his back.
‘Ugh!’ Pansy spluttered, pushing him away. ‘You’ll smudge my mascara, you arse,’ she wrinkled her tiny nose. ‘And you need a bloody shower, you’re all sweaty.’
Laughing, Draco rolled back onto the bed, and Hermione’s heart swelled to see him look so happy, despite the emotional rollercoaster he’d been on the day before.
‘You’re sure you’re alright then?’ Pansy said again, checking her make-up in a compact she’d charmed to float in midair. ‘And Cissa is doing okay after yesterday?’
‘Mum’s as good as she can be, and I’m feeling fine now,’ Draco said, lying back on the pillow and clasping his hands underneath, baring the pale swell of his biceps. ‘Granger dosed me up on potions. She took really good care of me last night.’
Pansy’s glossed lips curved into a smirk. ‘Oh, I bet she did. We all told you she’d be able to handle it, didn’t we? She’s one of us, Draco, as much as it would have pained me to say, a year ago. I think I love her almost as much as you do.’
Hermione’s throat tightened, and if she wasn’t meant to be hiding from her, she’d have hugged Pansy Parkinson herself.
‘Yeah,’ Draco’s gaze dropped down to the blanket. ‘She really is incredible.’
‘It’ll happen, sweetheart,’ Pansy reached out and ruffled his already messy hair. ‘You just have to start being more open with her, even if it’s hard. Women like communication, Draco.’
On the bedside table, his wand buzzed to life, the sound of Aurora babbling to herself coming over the monitor. He immediately sat up, beginning to push off the bed.
‘Let me go,’ Pansy put a hand on his shoulder. ‘I haven’t seen Aurora for a few days. I’ll change her and bring her out for breakfast. You try and get a little bit more rest. You look like you’ve barely slept at all.’
‘Are you sure?’ Draco picked up his wand, putting it to his ear and listening anxiously. Aurora made a few more cheerful sounds over the monitor, banging around through the connection.
‘I’m sure,’ Pansy said, already heading towards the door. ‘Theo and I have some last-minute wedding plans to go over anyway. Leave it with Aunty Pansy.’
‘Pans?’
Pansy stopped, looking back.
‘Any news with you?’ He asked quietly. ‘You doing okay?’
Pansy sagged a little, her shiny exterior faltering for just a second. ‘No news,’ she replied. ‘We’ll just keep going.’
Draco nodded, his voice soft. ‘It’ll happen. I know it will.’
She straightened, pasting on a bright smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. ‘I’m sure.’
‘I love you, Pansy.’
‘Love you, darling,’ she blew him a kiss. ‘Get a bit more sleep, okay?’
‘Thanks. I’ll try.’
The door had barely closed behind Pansy before Hermione found herself reappearing, the charm dropped with a muttered counter from Draco. He watched her shimmer back into sight, grinning as she stepped towards him on the bed, pulling her to straddle him.
‘That was close,’ he pressed a kiss to her collarbone as Hermione snaked her arms around his neck. ‘I really thought she’d spot those knickers a mile off.’
‘Mmm,’ Hermione tipped her head back, giving him better access. ‘Can I have them back now, please?’
She felt Draco’s lips curve against her skin. ‘Nope. They’re mine now. I want to remember this night forever.’
‘The night you got cock-blocked by yet another of your friends?’
‘The night you told me that you love me.’ He stopped his ministrations to look up at her. Hermione could already feel him firm between her legs and fought the urge to wriggle as she levelled him with a look.
‘You already knew I was hopelessly in love with you. How long has it been since I confessed it over Aurora’s monitor?’
‘A lot has happened since then,’ he countered quietly. ‘And you said you wanted to stay friends. I didn't want to hope for something that might never happen.’
‘Well,’ Hermione said, settling down in his lap, painfully aware she was still missing her underwear. ‘Clearly the ‘friend’ thing was never going to work out for us.’
He laughed and it was beautiful. ‘Clearly.’
Hermione laughed too, dipping her head to kiss him deep and slow, until they were both breathless again and Draco was straining up against the waistband of his boxers, his hands gripping hard onto her hips.
Hermione couldn’t stop thinking about those hands as they slid around to pull her closer. Hands that held his baby daughter safe, hands that comforted his mother when she cried for him, stroking over gnarled knuckles until Narcissa fell asleep - Hands that protected, hands that could hurt, if Draco deemed it necessary. She wanted those hands all over her again. She wanted them everywhere.
‘So…where do we go from here?’ She felt the words against her jaw as he broke for air, his breathing ragged once more. ‘Tell me what you need me to do, Granger.’
Something filtered through the haze of Hermione’s want, a dim realisation that they still had so much to talk about. That absolutely nothing was going to be simple moving forward.
‘I still mean what I said before,’ she said. ‘About wanting to get you to a better place. It’s more important than ever, now I know what you’re putting yourself through to help your mum.’
His eyes immediately darkened, lust replaced with wariness in the space of a single blink. ‘Please, don’t ask me to stop. Don’t put me in that position.’
Hermione felt sick, even as she promised. ‘You know I wouldn’t.’ He let out a whooshed breath, a little of the tension leaving his body. ‘But…will you at least let me help you look for other options? Some less traumatic ways we could help your mum? If not for your sake, then for Aurora’s, so she doesn’t have to grow up watching you suffer the way I did yesterday.’
‘I -I’d never… Aurora…’ He looked very young all of a sudden, reminding her of how he’d looked as a teenage boy, his cheek smarting with the outline of her handprint, silver eyes glistening with shock. ‘Of course.’
‘You’re a wonderful son, Draco,’ Hermione said gently. ‘And an incredible father. But you can’t look after anyone if you don’t look after yourself first.’
He closed his eyes, letting go of her waist to press the heels of his hands into the sockets. Hermione braced, remembering how hard he’d broken down the last time (she was aware of) that Narcissa had needed his Legilimency, thinking back to his mother’s words about her beautiful, fragile son.
‘I just want to keep the people I love safe, Granger. That’s all I ever try to do.’
‘I know.’ She whispered, gently pulling his hands away so he had no choice but to look at her. ‘But you’re not alone now. You just have to let me in, okay?’
He was quiet for a long moment, looking so full of fear and so heartbreakingly vulnerable that it made her want to scream. ‘I really want to. I want this so very much.’
Hermione touched the back of her hand to his cheekbone, stroking over the slight stubble on his jaw. ‘And you have it. But we’ll move at our own pace. I don’t want you to feel under any pressure to be ready for things when you’re not really. It’s still early on in this journey for you.’
He shook his head. ‘How the fuck is this actually happening? I would never have dreamed…’
‘Neither would I.’ Hermione admitted, suddenly a little terrified by the weight of it all. ‘But this is real. I think. For both of us.’
‘It’s real,’ he said fiercely. ‘And I don’t want to fuck it up.’ He reached out, running one of her curls slowly through his fingers. ‘I was thinking while I was talking to Pans…about telling people.’ Hermione nodded, having briefly considered the same thing. ‘I was thinking that Potter and Theo are getting married in less than two weeks.’ She realised with a jolt that he was right. The wedding date had crept up on them quickly. Draco’s mouth twisted. ‘I was wondering how you felt about maybe… keeping this just for us for a little while? Theo has done so much for me these past ten months. He’s let us live here, cramping his style the whole time he’s been trying to fuck Potter to death, giving Aurora and I all his time and attention… I really want this to just be about them. With Potter involved, there might be press attention and I don’t want anything to take away from Theo’s big day.’ He laughed quietly. ‘This is his fucking boyhood dream come true. He deserves for it to be perfect. They both do.’
Hermione blinked away unexpected tears. ‘You’re right. They absolutely do.’
‘I don’t want to stop, though…’ he added quickly. ‘This, I mean. I don’t think I can after tonight.’
Hermione exhaled a relieved breath. ‘I don’t want to stop either. We can keep this just between us for now. Until after the wedding and then we can tell everyone. Fuck the press and their opinions after that.’
The smile was back on his face as he pushed a curl over her shoulder. ‘Fuck them.’
Hermione laughed, suddenly giddy with excitement. She kissed him again, sinking into his arms and wishing she could stay there indefinitely, but- ‘I’d better go,’ she said regretfully. ‘Before anyone comes back in and finds me here.’
His arms tightened possessively around her waist. ‘No. Not yet. Five more minutes.’
With a sigh, and absolutely no hesitation whatsoever, Hermione gave in and let him pull her back down to his mouth.
By the time she did leave, ten minutes later, with a promise to return in an hour, showered and acting like she’d left before dawn, the night had already taken on a dreamlike quality for Hermione, her emotions tripping over themselves to catch up.
This was actually happening, she told herself again as she Apparated home, aching and exhausted, smiling like she was never going to stop. She and Draco were finally doing…something, even if for now, they could be the only ones who knew anything had changed.
Maybe, she reasoned as she headed into the shower, it was good to keep it private for a little while, something secret, just between them. And technically, they’d hidden their feelings for so long already, after everything it had taken to get to this point, how much harder could another two weeks be?