Chapter Text
Yeo-jin is annoyed. She is also out of breath and tired. She is standing at an awkward angle on a slope of a dirt trail and angrily glaring at the man before her.
“Give me your hand, I will pull you up. We are almost there,” Prosecutor Hwang Si-mok leans over with an outstretched hand, a slight frown creasing his brow.
“We have been walking all day, most of it uphill! We still haven’t reached the end of the trail and we have to walk all the way back. This is not exactly relaxing! I am covered in sweat and its supposed to be winter!”.
Yeo-jin crosses her arms over her chest, ignoring the proffered hand.
“Gosh! You are complaining so much! It’s been three hours of walking. Shouldn’t you be more fit physically as a police officer?“ he asks her reproachfully.
Yeo-jin huffs in anger and gives him a look reserved for irritating subordinates and petty criminals, “One more word Prosecutor Hwang, and I will throw you off this hill!”
His face breaks into an uninhibited smile on this empty threat, a smile so infectious that she must bite her lips to not smile back.
“Don’t think that smile is going to save you,”, she says, narrowing her eyes.
He leans forward, grabs her hand, and helps her up the slope. She scrambles up after him on to the barely visible trail, keeping up with his purposeful strides, wondering what to make out this day so far.
To be honest, she wasn’t sure what she expected when she made this trip to see him. When he had suggested that they go hiking together in Wonju, Yeo-jin had realized that the ball was in her court. Prosecutor Hwang never said anything he didn’t mean. Besides, she missed seeing him, so here she was.
She had driven in last night and had met Prosecutor Hwang and Investigator Kim Ho-Sub for dinner. It was a pleasant evening of catching up. Mr. Kim had given her an odd look when she told him she wasn’t there for work and had just come to hang out. It was even more awkward when he suggested that he would like to get away from wife and kids and join them for the hike and Prosecutor Hwang had refused.
When they had met in the morning at the trailhead, she was uncertain about the day ahead. She felt comfortable around Prosecutor Hwang, but most of their relationship had revolved around work. What would it be like to just spend time with him? And he had looked so cute with his hair still damp from the shower, waiting for her to show up in the frosty morning air. She felt the desperate urge to kiss him, which did not help her confused feelings at all.
Half a day in and Yeo-jin admitted this is the most relaxed she had felt in a while. Their almost telepathic understanding filled the space between them as they walked side-by-side on the trail - either talking (mostly her) or just enjoying the quietness of the forest. Just being with him made her happy.
She was tired, but not really annoyed. It gave her a special kind of joy to evoke different reactions on Prosecutor Hwang’s face. Every time she complained too loudly, his expressions fluctuated between annoyance and guilt.
“This is it”, she hears him say. They had come out of the wooded area into a clearing on the top of the hill.
“Oh”.
Yeo-jin is speechless. All of Chiaksan Park lies in front of them. The day is clear, so she can see the length of the snow-capped mountain ridges till the horizon. A cold, crispy air blows through her hair, refreshing her instantly. She feels oddly moved to be here with him, sharing this view. It feels intimate, personal.
She feels him watching and turns to look. The intensity of his expression makes her suddenly self-conscious. She walks towards a grassy patch on the ground and sits down; he follows.
After a few moments of silence, she asks, “Why do you like to come here?”
He turns to look at her as if he has never considered this question. There is no answer from him, and Yeo-jin takes off her backpack and using it as a pillow, lies on her back staring at the blue sky.
“When I was leaving Seoul after the police-prosecutor council disbanded, Assistant Chief Kim said something to me. I think he was giving him advice. He asked me to lead a different life. That stayed with me -what did he mean by it? I have been thinking about that a lot. And everything we have been through….”
Yeo-jin rolls on her side to look at him, waiting for him to continue.
“I know I am not what people call normal. When I was growing up, I used to get bullied for not fitting in and then bullied because I didn’t respond. When I became a prosecutor, the world was a clearer place. It was black and white; I could literally live by a book. Even then I noticed that I was always upsetting people by just doing my job.….”
He then looks at her smiling, “Then I met you three years ago. I never seem to upset you. I never have to explain myself to you. You drew a map of my brain and told me that my emotions are all there, I just didn’t know it. And all that’s happened since.…. the Western prosecutor’s office… the reasons why people do wrong things........this endless battle for the truth we keep fighting…... it’s made me realize that life has meaning…..”
He stops speaking, as if deliberating on his next words. Yeo-jin feels her eyes tearing up, and she looks away.
“They took out a part of me as a child, and I will never be a whole person. I am not sure I will ever understand what it means to lead a regular life, or have those normal feelings that everyone has…… but I can’t help thinking ….that I want to be less alone now.”
He looks at her with all the meaning in the world and says softy, “It seems like a lot to ask from someone, doesn’t it?”
The magnitude of what Si-mok Hwang has just said doesn’t escape her. This is her moment of truth. All her working years, she’d been adamant about not being with someone from work. She didn’t want to bring the darkness home. But Prosecutor Hwang was right about the last few years. They changed things for her too, and what she wanted out of life. She couldn’t imagine sharing the bond she had with him with another human being.
Work had brought them together, but they stood by each other as they believed in the same things. The paths they had chosen were lonely ones, made less so by each other. And ever since he left Seoul a few months ago, she felt his absence sorely, as if something in her life was incomplete. She finally admitted she wanted more for them, and when they last met, she had felt the spark of something. But with Hwang Si-mok, and his many hidden feelings, one could never tell.
But here he was, in his own quiet way, asking her to be with him. She knows he is waiting for her to speak up, so she sits up and moves closer to him. Her sides brushing his.
“I don’t think anyone is really a whole person. All of us go through life losing and gaining parts. The jobs we do–it’s not even possible to stay whole. I don't know if you are whole or not, but you are full of feelings. You know that unwavering sense of justice that you have–it isn’t all logic and reason. It’s a belief in what you do. You get upset when people do wrong things or hurt others - that comes from a place of compassion. And with me, all I have seen is kindness, understanding and affection.”
She pauses and takes his hand in hers, “And who is to say what normal like? My family thinks I am not normal, chasing criminals into the night, instead of staying at home watching my kids, that I should have had by now! We can be our own normal.”
On hearing the “we”, he looks into her eyes as if searching for confirmation. She suddenly elbows him in the rib, and teases him, “I am not saying it’s going to be easy! You are going to be a lot of work, Prosecutor Hwang Si-mok!”
Then she adds gently, using his choice of words, “But you know what, I want to be less alone too. ”
She snuggles closer and places her head on his shoulders. She feels him exhale in relief and settle down into her touch.
She doesn’t remember later how long they sat like this, holding hands, staring into the horizon.
They walk back on the trail in the receding daylight. He reaches out for her hand constantly, whether or not she needs the help. When they reach their cars, he turns to look at her, his eyes soft on her face, and she again has the urge to kiss him. This time she doesn’t resist.
She leans into him and places her lips on his. She feels him freeze under her touch, but before she can pull back, his hands gently stray to her waist. His lips part under hers and with an inaudible sigh, presses into him for a deeper kiss. They break apart moments later, both a little breathless.
On his usually blank face, Yeo-jin observes an emotion that she hasn't seen on him before. Desire.
So maybe not everything will be different.
“What’s wrong?” he asks because she is staring at him. She grins, hooks her hand around his arm and drags him towards their cars.
“Nothing at all. Cmon, you owe me dinner to make up for the all walking I did today. I am starving!!”
She catches him smile at her and it feels right.