Chapter Text
It had been months since he and Seo Jun had schedules that lined up enough to go out for a drink together. They didn't go anywhere fancy- neither of them were those kinds of people- just upscale enough to have the wine Taehyung liked and the whiskey Seo Jun preferred. The bar was quiet, lights low enough to create a feeling of intimacy without being sleazy.
They talked about their various ongoing projects, what they liked about them, what they wished they could change, and generally unwound in each other's presence. It reminded Taehyung of why he and Seo Jun had gotten along so well in the first place.
Everything was going well until he felt an uncomfortable flash of heat flare in his gut. He cut himself off mid-sentence, and Seo Jun must have read the horror in his eyes, because the other man immediately set down his glass and reached for him. "Are you okay?" He leaned in a tad bit closer, fingertips nearly brushing the sleeve of Taehyung's shirt, when he must have caught the distinctive scent coming from the younger man. "Oh."
"Shit, sorry," Taehyung winced through another ripple of heat. "I wasn't expecting it."
"I can tell." Seo Jun's nostrils flared, but he held himself still, obviously torn between wanting to help his friend and afraid of making it worse. "Do you want me to help you up?"
Taehyung shook his head. "It's way too early," he managed to get out. "Let's wait a few minutes to see if it passes. Might just be a false alarm."
"Okay," Seo Jun agreed quietly and sat back down, though nearer than he had been before.
They sat in silence for several minutes, Taehyung wincing every so often at random flashes of pain. After some time, Taehyung thought the pain was subsiding, the flares becoming further apart. "Ah, I think I was right. False heat."
Seo Jun frowned at him. "Are you sure? We can call it a night if you're not feeling well."
Taehyung waved the idea away. "No. We get to hang out so little as it is already. I don't want to cut it short for no reason."
"Your health isn't 'no reason'."
"Agreed."
Taehyung nearly had a heart attack at the low tone of the voice that came from behind him. "Jungkook! Would you stop fucking doing that?!" He paused, giving the younger man a narrow look. "Also, what the hell are you doing here? How did you know where I was?"
Jungkook scowled down at him. "Doing what?" Apparently, he was ignoring the last question.
"Skulking up behind me and scaring the shit out of me." Taehyung turned further in his seat to better see the other man.
Immediately, Jungkook's expression became regretful. "Sorry, Taehyung. It's not on purpose."
Taehyung sighed. "Whatever. What are you doing here," he asked again. Taehyung thought he felt a headache coming on. Why, of all nights, did Jungkook have to show up now? Just when Taehyung was thinking of finally letting the younger man go, and now dealing with false heat symptoms.
Jungkook had the grace to look at least a little bit embarrassed, though that didn't stop him from meeting Taehyung's gaze. "I don't think this is a discussion we should have in public."
Taehyung could feel his irritation rise. "Why?"
He watched as Jungkook's gaze flickered over to Seo Jun, before settling back on Taehyung. "Taehyung, please, just come home with me." Jungkook's voice was measured, carefully controlled, like he was holding himself back.
Taehyung turned away from him. "No. I'm spending time with my friend."
Seo Jun leaned forward. "Tae, maybe you should-" The rest of what Seo Jun was about to say was cut off by a low growl and a flash of pale skin as Jungkook's black-clad arm shot past Taehyung's shoulder.
Immediately, Seo Jun froze. So did Taehyung. Jungkook's pale fingers were wrapped tightly around Seo Jun's wrist, and Taehyung could see the tremble of effort each man was exhibiting to not move.
"Jungkook?"
"Taehyung," Jungkook started, his voice much less calm than before. "Please come home with me before I cause a scene."
The younger man wasn't even looking at the man whose wrist he held. His gaze was focused solely on Taehyung, dark and deadly serious. Taehyung gulped. "Okay, Jungkook," he said softly. "I'll go with you." Slowly, he raised his hand and gently laid his fingers on top of Jungkook's arm. "Can you let him go now please?"
They stared at each other for a long moment, long enough that Taehyung worried that Jungkook wouldn't let go and they would have a fight on their hands, but then Jungkook took in a deep breath, something in his eyes flashed, and he released Seo Jun's wrist. "Let's go."
Quickly, Taehyung gathered his things. "I'm really sorry about this, Seo Jun."
The older man waved away his apology, rubbing at his wrist delicately and wincing. "It's fine. Take care of yourself."
Jungkook led him back to the dorm, ushering him into his room with barely enough time to kick his shoes off at the entryway. As soon as the door to Jungkook's room closed, the younger man wrapped himself around Taehyung, breathing deeply. "Finally," he said, nuzzling into the back of Taehyung’s neck. "Oh, fuck, I can smell your heat."
"Jungkook, I'm not in-" Suddenly, Taehyung was pushed forward, stumbling a few steps away from Jungkook. "Hey, what the hell?" He turned around, furious at the treatment- at the scene at the bar- but the look on Jungkook’s face stopped him.
His gaze was hungry. That was the only way to describe the dark glint in Jungkook’s eyes, the way his lips parted, letting his tongue flick out like he was trying to taste the air. Taehyung gulped. "Jungkook?"
The younger man clenched his hands into fists and kept them firmly pressed against his thighs. "I'm sorry, Tae. I just…fuck!" One fist came up to press against his face, partially blocking his nose. "I meant to do this when I was calmer- talk to you properly- but I don't know if I can keep hold of myself long enough."
Now, Taehyung was concerned. Jungkook was exhibiting all of the signs of an Alpha about to go into rut, and while the doctor explained that Jungkook could be more easily provoked into it for the first few months after his delayed presentation, barely a month had passed since his last one would have ended, and no Omegas had been around to have triggered it. Unless… but a false heat shouldn't have that effect on an Alpha. Biology always knew, the pheromones released were different enough that Alphas could easily ignore them.
"Jungkook-"
"You should leave."
Taehyung startled by the hoarseness of Jungkook's voice. "What?"
The younger man took a deep breath, then winced, looking like he regretted the action. "You should get out of here while I can still let you go." The look Jungkook gave him then was the saddest, most desperate thing Taehyung had ever seen. He looked as if the thought of Taehyung leaving was the worst thing imaginable.
It wrenched at a place deep within Taehyung- at the same place the ache had taken up residence- to see Jungkook that way, causing him to gasp. The sensation was almost physical, like someone had reached into his chest and squeezed his heart. The ache had never been that bad before, and had always gone away in Jungkook's presence, not worsened.
"Taehyung?" Distantly, he became aware that Jungkook had called his name several times already.
He held a hand up to forestall any movement to get closer on Jungkook’s part. "I'm okay."
Jungkook eyed him skeptically. "You don't look okay."
"Fuck you," Taehyung said, though the phrase lacked any noticeable heat to it.
The younger man groaned. "Don't say things like that right now, I might take it as an invitation." He scrubbed his hands through his hair. "It's going to be difficult enough to let you leave as it is."
"Jungkook, what the hell is going on?"
Taehyung’s voice was harsh, and he realized he was starting to pant. What the hell? He only got like this when… "No. I can't be. It was a false alarm."
Jungkook had the audacity to smirk at him. "I guess I just have that kind of effect on you."
"But," Taehyung took a deep breath, and nearly choked on the amount of pheromones Jungkook was releasing. The rest of his body didn't complain, however, as desire throbbed deep in his belly. "Ugh." He wrinkled his nose. "What's going on?"
"I'm no expert," Jungkook joked, and Taehyung wanted to smack him for it. "But I think our incomplete bond is trying to make itself complete."
Taehyung was stumped. "But, that shouldn't be possible. Neither of us have been encouraging it; releasing the right pheromones, touching, etc. Nothing more than what Dr. Kang suggested." Taehyung felt overwhelmed. How could this be happening again when he had tried so hard to be careful?
"Er." Jungkook's expression was guilty.
That wasn't a good sign. Jungkook was too honest to do guilt. He narrowed his gaze at the younger man. "What did you do?"
He avoided Taehyung's gaze. "Well, it might have been a teeny bit accidentally-on-purpose, but I didn't think it would actually work."
"What would work?" Taehyung stared at him suspiciously.
The younger man looked up at Taehyung from under his lashes. "I've been reading up on how to release pheromones."
"Why? "
Jungkook stared at him like he was the world's biggest dolt. "Because I wanted to complete the bond," he said, as easily as if he had announced that the sky was blue or grass was green. "As to why… well, because I like you."
"What?"
The question earned him a concerned look. "Are you okay? Um, apart from the obvious, that is."
"No." That, at least, Taehyung could answer. "I'm not okay. None of this makes sense." He buried his fingers into his hair, feeling overwhelmed by his emotions and hormones playing havoc with his psyche. Finally, one thought made it out if the mire. "What about Jimin?"
"Ah." Jungkook looked embarrassed. "You knew about that?"
Taehyung snorted. "Space dust from beyond the Andromeda galaxy knows about it."
"Right." Jungkook's ears reddened. "Um, it's not an issue anymore."
"Not an issue?" Taehyung repeated, disbelief coloring his voice. "You've been in love with Jimin for years." He tried to keep the hurt out of his voice. All those years of loving Jungkook while he loved another had piled on. Taehyung had never meant to get this close to his junior; had never thought to step in the way of Jungkook's feelings, but it looked like he had anyway. He had always assumed that one day Jimin would look at Jungkook, realize they were meant to be together, and that would be that.
He had never imagined that he would go into heat around Jungkook, triggering him into a rut, and end up partially bonded to him.
"Yeah," Jungkook croaked, his voice husky with unnamed emotion. "And now I'm not."
Taehyung hadn't noticed it at first, but Jungkook had been steadily getting closer to him, so much so that he could reach out now and touch his chest if he so chose. And he wanted to. He wanted to so badly, the heat that wasn't a heat was roaring inside him, he could feel his body trying to ready itself for the Alpha, and everything felt so right and so wrong at the same time that Taehyung's head spun with it all.
"Feelings don't just go away, Jungkook." He tried to keep his voice steady. Neutral.
Jungkook winced at his words. "It's not like that, Tae. I promise. And I'll explain it to you, I really will, but you need to make a decision now." Sweat beaded along Jungkook's hairline, enough so that it was starting to trickle one by one down his face. He was truly in the grips of rut now, Taehyung knew. "Either stay with me and go through this together, or leave and we can talk about it later. But you need to choose now," he said, shuffling a step closer, "because I am very very close to not letting you leave."
Taehyung looked at him helplessly. "Jungkook…" He didn't know what to do. He knew what he wanted to do, but was it the right thing? Probably not. They’d started this thing between them entirely by accident, they hadn't even talked about it since that day in the doctor’s office, weeks ago. What right did he have to ask- no, demand- more from Jungkook?
Except… Jungkook sounded like he wouldn't mind, but that was probably just the rut talking. Ruts, even for experienced Alphas, were difficult, insidious things to bear, whispering constantly in their ears that of course that Omega, Beta- hell, perhaps even another Alpha- wanted them. Why wouldn’t they? Anything that got them closer to a partner sounded like a good idea to an Alpha during rut.
Gentle fingertips grazing his cheek startled him from his thoughts. His eyes flew up to Jungkook’s, and he knew he had lost. “Same as before,” he asked, gently laying a hand on the one on his face.
“Yeah,” Jungkook breathed before crushing their lips together. Almost immediately, his tongue swept inside Taehyung’s mouth, seeming to taste every bit of him before playfully tangling around his own tongue. The kiss felt intimate, and hot, and it was everything Taehyung had ever imagined and more. "Well, almost," he whispered, and covered Taehyung's mouth with his own before Taehyung could ask what he meant.
For a time, he let himself be lost. Taehyung stopped thinking about right and wrong, the consequences this one night could have on them- all of it- and just let himself feel.
He felt Jungkook take off his clothing, piece by piece, quickly stripping away unnecessary layers until Taehyung found himself on his back in the bed, his thin white t-shirt pushed up under his armpits. "Sorry, Tae, I don't think I can make this last long." Jungkook reached down between Taehyung's legs, fingertips circling the entrance he found there. "Can I…?"
"Yes," Taehyung hissed before he even knew what Jungkook was going to ask. Immediately, Jungkook shoved two fingers into him, and Taehyung groaned at the relief of having something inside him, massaging his aching inner walls. "Oh, God. Jungkook." He bent his head back, eyes closing around the sensation of Jungkook working his fingers deeper into him. "Jungkook," he called again. Sweat trickled down his temples. He was well and truly in heat now. How had Jungkook known?
"God, you're beautiful like this, Tae," Jungkook praised him. "Gonna take care of you, baby. Gonna make you feel so good." He leaned forward, mouthing at Taehyung's clavicle, before removing his hands from Jungkook's body.
Immediately, Taehyung felt a flash of panic. His Alpha was leaving him. He didn't want Jungkook to leave.
"Shh, you're okay." Jungkook rubbed a hand over his thigh. "I'm just making myself more comfortable." Lifting his head up, Taehyung watched as Jungkook undid his pants, pushing both his jeans and underwear down far enough to expose his cock. Slowly he leaned forward, taking his erection in one hand and bracing his weight on the other by Taehyung’s head. "Tae, can I-?" What he wanted to do was articulated by the blunt head of his cock rubbing against Taehyung's entrance.
"Yes," Taehyung nearly sobbed. "Please. I want you in me so much." He had barely finished speaking before Jungkook's thick length forced its way into him, spreading him open for the younger man.
"Okay, okay. I've got you," Jungkook soothed, running his free hand down Taehyung's side. "God, you feel so good." Once he was fully sheathed, Jungkook paused, his wide eyes filled with concern . "Are you okay?"
Taehyung could feel himself panting. It wasn't painful, per se, but Jungkook wasn't small and it had been some time since he'd last had anything in him besides the small dido he kept for during his heats. "Yeah. Just give me a moment?"
"Of course." Jungkook distracted them both by placing kisses along Taehyung's neck, skirting around his scent glands. "I want to bite you, but I won't. I'm gonna wait until we're both clear-headed, and then I'm gonna ask you properly to bond with me."
The whimper escaped before he could rein the impulse in. He wanted it; he wanted so badly to bond with Jungkook. It was everything he had never let himself dream of and Jungkook was saying he wanted it, too.
It was too much. His fingers scrabbled for purchase on Jungkook’s back, and he was sure he was leaving marks, but he was too far gone to care. "Jungkook, move. Please move."
The other man didn't hesitate, withdrawing far enough until only the tip remained before thrusting back in. The pace he set was quick, but not rushed, angled to brush against the spot in Taehyung that made him cry out at every stroke.
Sweat pooled between them, gathering in the hollows of Taehyung's body. The air was punctuated with slick sounds of skin against skin, and the tiny gasps and moans that emerged from either of them.
Neither of them lasted long. Taehyung came first, arching his back and clenching down tight around Jungkook. The younger man slowed his thrusts, letting Taehyung relax first before pulling out and spilling into the crease of his thigh.
"Sorry," he panted, head resting against Taehyung's shoulder. "I forgot a condom. I'm sorry." Jungkook's voice shook.
Taehyung shushed him. In all honesty, he had forgotten too, consumed by the need to have Jungkook inside him. "It's fine," he soothed, stroking a hand through Jungkook's thick hair. "Well, not fine, but I didn’t remember either. I am on birth control though."
Jungkook jerked up to look at him. "But, STDs…"
"We both get tested regularly. My last one came back clean. And I haven't been with anyone except you in nearly a year." Taehyung tried not to let his embarrassment show.
The admission garnered him an oddly intense look. "It's been over a year for me, too."
"Oh, okay," Taehyung said, not knowing what to do with that statement. He glanced around, unable to hold the other man's gaze. "Um, we should probably clean up a bit, though."
Taehyung could still feel Jungkook's gaze on the side of his face for a long moment before the other man pulled away. "Okay. Let's shower." He pulled Taehyung with him, peeling the sweat-soaked tee from Taehyung's body before leading him into the connected bathroom.
Quickly, they washed themselves, but Taehyung could already feel his heat peaking again, and from the way Jungkook's touch became longer and more insistent, the other man was feeling the same way. He came on Jungkook’s fingers that second time, braced against the bathroom wall as the other man plastered himself to Taehyung's back, working three fingers in and out of him.
Taehyung returned the favor by taking Jungkook into his mouth.
They napped for a bit before Jungkook woke him up for a third time. This one was slow and quiet, almost sweet despite all the need built up behind it. Their bodies stayed pressed close and they breathed the same air, both reluctant to part too far from the other.
Jungkook came first this time, face buried in the crook of Taehyung's neck, emptying himself into the condom he'd remembered this time. He finished Taehyung with his mouth and fingers, and with his orgasm, both of them felt the incessant need ebb. They lay together for a time, before Jungkook forced his body up to grab a washcloth, first wiping down Taehyung's body, then his own. He flung the cloth onto the floor, too tired to get up again, then wrapped himself around the older man, holding Taehyung close and being held close as well, his nose buried somewhere in the vicinity of Taehyung's clavicle.
The next morning, Taehyung woke up first. Or at least, he was pretty sure he was the first one awake, since Jungkook was still snoring obnoxiously beside him.
And, oh shit, they had done it again and this time there was no excuse of first times or biological functions pressed too far. There had simply been Taehyung and Jungkook, both fully aware of this situation and choosing to embroil themselves deeper with each other when they had agreed to seek the opposite.
He had been weak, Taehyung could admit to himself under the cover of darkness as his bare feet found the cold floor. The chance to be with Jungkook again, to pretend for just a moment they were more than friends, had been too much for Taehyung to resist. He had fallen into the trap of his deepest desires once again.
For the second time in just over a month, he found himself gathering his clothes from Jungkook's floor and sneaking out of the dorm. He used the walk to the bus stop to consider what to do next. Obviously, he and Jungkook weren't to be trusted around each other. Perhaps it was time to bring in some reinforcement.
Which is how he found himself some hours later in a café, sitting opposite of Jimin, and relaying the whole sordid story. The other man stared at him, wide eyes becoming wider at each detail Taehyung shared with him.
"Holy shit," Jimin summed up once Taehyung was done.
"Pretty much."
Jimin took a sip of his coffee, then frowned down at his cup when he found it had long gone cold. "What do you want to do next?"
"Huh?"
The other man leaned forward on his elbows. "What do you want to happen, Tae? Forget what you think should happen, or what anyone else wants, what do you want?"
Taehyung didn't even have to think about it. "I want to be with him."
"Then let's figure out how to make that happen."
"Jimin, it's not that simple."
"Taehyung," Jimin said, mimicking Taehyung's tone, "it is that simple." Jimin looked at him over the rim of his coffee cup. "Jungkook said it himself that he wants to bond with you."
"You know as well as I do that things said during a heat or a rut can't be trusted." It hurt to say, but it was the truth. A desperate Alpha or Omega would say anything- do anything- to get what they wanted. In today's society, it was rare to force such a thing upon another, but Taehyung had heard the stories from before his grandparents' time of a much different world. "I'd have to be one of those air-headed bimbos from a romance novel to believe that Jungkook really wants me."
Jimin set his cup down and leaned forward, capturing Taehyung's eyes with an intense stare. "Taehyung, you are and air-headed bimbo. Himbo. Whatever. Why are you so dead set on not believing him?"
"Okay, first, thats mean even for you, Jimin."
"Sorry," the other replied, not sounding sorry at all.
Deciding to ignore it for now, Taehyung bit his lip and regarded his own cup. "You didn't see him that first time, Jimin. You didn't hear the way he sounded when he told me he didn't want it."
"Maybe you misunderstood what he meant," Jimin offered.
Taehyung shook his head. "I don't know how else one could interpret 'no, but I don't think I can stop' as the answer to the question of 'do you want this with me'?" The phrase had been burned into his psyche.
"Oh, Taehyung." Jimin laid a comforting hand over his own. "I'm sorry."
He shook his head. "It's fine. Really."
It really wasn't. Taehyung felt like he was seconds away from bawling. Everything he had ever wanted had come so close to him and then it had been cruelly ripped away. "I'm used to wanting without having," he reasoned. Unable to stand his friend's pitying looks anymore, Taehyung changed the subject, and mercifully, Jimin let it drop.
Three days later, he was practicing with the group- minus Jungkook- for their comeback, tentatively scheduled to happen in just over a month from now. Jungkook was deemed well enough at his doctor's visit the day before to join them for their regular activities. Based on the assumption that Jungkook would continue to improve, the company had announced that they would have a two week trial period with full group practice. Today was the last day before Jungkook joined them again.
To say Taehyung was nervous about it was not an understatement. After he had gotten home that morning after, he had promptly shut off his phone, showered, and fell into bed for ten hours. He'd woken late that night to seven missed calls and nearly twenty unread messages from Jungkook. Taehyung ignored all of them. He also ignored every attempt from Jungkook to contact him since that day.
So, to say he was unprepared to see Jungkook the next day wasn't inaccurate.
However, to say that Taehyung was woefully unprepared to see Jungkook stomp into the practice room a day early, when Taehyung was least expecting it, was an understatement.
He watched with detached horror as the other man stomped across the floor, black boots thunking solidly with every step, and gaze fixed solely on Taehyung.
"Jungkook!" Hoseok called out cheerily to their youngest member. "What are you doing here? You're a day early."
The younger man didn't answer. Instead, in a display of strength and athleticism that left Taehyung breathless, Jungkook bent down, forcing his shoulder into Taehyung's abdomen. He grabbed Taehyung around the wrist with one hand and behind one knee with the other, hoisting him up and over his shoulder. And then, without a word, he turned and carried Taehyung out of the room.
"Hey!" Taehyung shouted in surprise. He smacked open-palmed at the top of Jungkook's thighs. "Put me down!"
He was ignored.
The last thing Taehyung managed to hear from the room was Jimin telling the other members that everything was fine, they were just playing a game.
Traitor.
"Jungkook, seriously, put me down." Taehyung tried using his I'm older than you, so do what I say voice.
"Shut up," Jungkook muttered.
Taehyung thought about defying Jungkook's orders, but something in the younger man's voice stalled him. Jungkook wasn't just upset; he was angry. He let himself be carried into a little-used storage room, where Jungkook finally set him down, placing himself between Taehyung and the exit.
Trying to keep some of his dignity after being carried through the corridors like a sack of rice, Taehyung crossed his arms over his chest and leveled Jungkook with his best glare. "What the fuck was that about?"
"If you had answered, or even read, any of my messages from the last three days, you would know." Jungkook had mirrored Taehyung's pose, and Taehyung hated to say it, but he looked good like that. "Do you know how much it sucked, seeing that you didn't even bother to read them?"
Taehyung remained silent, gaze cast shamefully down at Jungkook's feet. He had purposefully ignored those messages, and in doing so, he had hurt the person he loved most. Not reading those texts had been a way to protect himself from the rejection he was sure was coming, but could he really say he loved Jungkook if he hurt him so easily?
"I'm sorry," he choked out from behind the lump in his throat. "I'm so sorry, Jungkook. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just scared."
He heard Jungkook sigh. "I know, Tae. I know why you did it, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. And, I know we never properly talked about what happened between us, but I've put some things together, and I think it's time we addressed what has been going on."
Taehyung knew he had no right to refuse. "Okay."
“So, I want you to stand there and listen to me. Got that?”
Taehyung could only nod, eyes still downcast.
Jungkook took a deep breath. “First, do you know how hard it has been for me to stay away from you?”
“Huh?” That wasn’t what Taehyung had been expecting to hear.
“When the partial bond first manifested, I had no idea what was going on. I felt pulled towards you, more than usual.” Jungkook rubbed at the center of his chest. “It ached so bad. I wanted to be near you so much.”
“It ached for me, too,” Taehyung quietly confessed, unconsciously mirroring Jungkook’s gesture. “I didn’t know why either. And I thought I was the only one."
Shaking his head, Jungkook reached out a hand, like he was going to touch Taehyung’s face, but then thought better of it and let it drop. “I knew I wanted you. But then, when I could still smell traces of myself on you days later, the need for you intensified.”
Taehyung nearly choked on the emotions welling within him. “That was just the hormones talking.” Well, it was for Jungkook. Taehyung’s heart had been calling for the other for a long time before that fateful incident from over a month ago.
“No!” Taehyung was startled by Jungkook’s forceful objection. “That’s not it. Or, that wasn’t the only reason I yearned for you.”
“Jungkook…”
“There’s something else I should clear up for you.” He caught Taehyung’s gaze directly. “I was in love with Jimin-hyung.”
Taehyung flinched.
“No, listen to me,” Jungkook grabbed him gently about his shoulders. “For a really long time, I thought Jimin was my whole universe.”
“I know,” Taehyung replied listlessly. “And I know that whole night was probably really confusing for you, but doing something like that doesn’t mean your feelings for him changed.” He willed Jungkook to understand. It wasn’t his fault, no one would blame Jungkook for what had happened, they wouldn’t hold it against him. If Jimin was ever inclined to return Jungkook’s affections, he would understand that the sex they’d had in that situation- both times- had been driven by hormones, not feelings.
“No, it doesn’t. Because my feelings for him changed a long time ago.”
Before Taehyung could stop himself, his head jerked up, meeting Jungkook’s gaze straight on. “What?”
Jungkook gave him a hesitant smile. “I realized some time ago that I love Jimin like a brother, the sort of love one could confuse for a crush, because we got along so well. But, Taehyung you-” He licked his lips. “You were always the one that confused me. Made me feel things I didn’t know I could, or thought I should feel.”
Taehyung stared up at the other man numbly. “What,” he repeated.
“I was drawn to you as a kid, but sometimes I felt like I shouldn’t have been.”
Ouch. Was Taehyung that objectionable? He tried to keep the hurt off of his face.
Jungkook must have taken his silence as a sign to continue. “I told myself you were a good hyung, but Jimin was the more sensible choice. He didn’t make me feel tied up in knots like you did.” He paused again. “I realized a little over a year ago that I had gotten it wrong.”
Taehyung was confused. What was Jungkook trying to say? That he’d had a change of heart and that he had hidden it for over a year? It seemed impossible.
“I didn’t know what to do with my feelings for you, so I kept them hidden.” Jungkook said, as if in answer to Taehyung's silent question. He sounded so sad at that moment, his voice heavy and thick, eyes shining with moisture. “I was so afraid of things changing, of possibly losing my friendships with you both, or making things awkward for the group, that I didn’t say anything. I’m sorry, Taehyung.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Taehyung answered reflexively. He was so used to being the one in the wrong, covering for Jungkook, that he didn’t even think about it anymore.
“No,” Jungkook said firmly. “I made you think I didn’t care for you when that couldn’t be further from the truth. I was a coward.” His thumbs dug into Taehyung’s shoulders, and Taehyung realized Jungkook had been touching him this entire time. “But, hyung, you were a coward, too.”
Well, Taehyung couldn’t really refute that. Jungkook was right. He had kept his feelings a secret from their youngest member for the almost the exact same reason Jungkook said he never spoke to Taehyung about his own. The only person to know he felt something more than brotherly affection for Jungkook had been Jimin.
(Poor Jimin, who was stuck in the middle of all this, apparently. Taehyung would have to remember to buy him flowers after everything, no matter how things worked out.)
He sighed and pulled away slightly from the other man’s grasp. “Okay. You’re right. So, where does that leave us?”
“Tae, I like you.” Jungkook said bluntly, sounding sincere, reaching for him again right away. “I’m in love with you.”
Taehyung stared at him, astonished by the confession. “You like me?”
Jungkook nodded.
“Wait, no, you love me?” He nearly choked on the word, so unsure if it really applied to him the way he wanted it to. “As more than a brother?” Nod. “As more than a friend?” More nods.
Taehyung looked away once again, biting his lip. “But, when I asked you if you wanted it that time, with me, you said no.”
“Oh, Tae,” Jungkook pulled him roughly against his chest, circling his muscular arms around Taehyung’s shoulders. “I know you couldn’t have known, but I meant that I didn’t want my first time with you to be like that, with both of us out of our senses.”
Taehyung felt lips brush against his hair. “Oh.”
“I’m sorry for the misunderstanding.” Jungkook squeezed him tighter. “I wanted our first time together to be when we were both aware of our feelings for each other- if you even returned my feelings. I’d been planning to tell you how I felt soon, but then I came back to the dorm, and you smelled so good… It was like all of my senses were overloaded by you and my body was moving on its own before I realized it.”
Taehyung rested his head against Jungkook’s strong shoulder, closing his eyes. “So, you like me?” He was perhaps still a bit stuck on Jungkook’s confession.
Jungkook snorted. “It’s a good bit more than just like.” He eased Taehyung’s forehead off of his shoulder, cupping his face with one hand. “I’m in love with you,” he said again.
“Oh.”
Jungkook raised an eyebrow at him. “And?”
Taehyung scrunched his forehead in confusion. And…? “Oh! I love you, too, Jungkook.” He could feel his ears redden, embarrassed at confessing his feelings so suddenly, but, well, Jungkook had already proved to be the braver of the two of them. The least Taehyung could do was try to match him. “I’ve been in love with you for a really long time.”
The smile he received in return for the confession was soft and oh-so-worth finally speaking up. Jungkook trailed his hands down Taehyung’s arms until he had both of his broad palms cupped around Taehyung’s slimmer hands. “Yeah? How long?.” He pulled Taehyung closer.
“Um,” he could feel the blush move from his ears to down his neck. “Since around the time you graduated high school?”
“Really?” Taehyung nodded. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” Jungkook sounded genuinely remorseful, but to Taehyung, there was nothing for him to be sorry about.
He shook his head. “Don’t be. It’s like you said earlier. I was a coward.” He glanced down, fingertips playing with Jungkook’s own. “I knew you liked Jimin, and I was afraid of upsetting the balance we all had with each other, so I tried to ignore whatever feelings I had for you beyond friendly.”
Gently, Jungkook pressed his lips to Taehyung’s forehead in a soft kiss. “I wish I had figured my shit out sooner.”
Taehyung looked up at him and smiled. “I dunno, maybe it’s better that we waited. Maybe things wouldn’t have worked out between us if we had taken those first steps towards each other so soon. You know, waiting until we both matured a bit.”
Jungkook trailed another kiss to Taehyung's eyebrow, then the ridge of a cheekbone. “Your philosophy of ‘things happen in such a way for a reason’ again?”
The smile transformed into a grin, wide and unrepentant. “You know it.”
“God, I love you,” Jungkook breathed, before capturing Taehyung’s mouth in a deep kiss, tongue sweeping in to taste him thoroughly. Several seconds passed before they broke apart, breathing a little harder than they had been before. “Was that okay?” Jungkook rested his forehead against Taehyung’s.
“It was perfect.” Taehyung leaned into Jungkook’s touch. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“And I’d love for you two to come out of this fucking closet so we can finish the practice you so rudely interrupted,” came Yoongi's voice from outside the door. “I’m not getting any younger, you know.”
Taehyung exchanged looks with Jungkook, before both of them broke down in laughter. “Coming, hyung!”
“God, I hope not,” was the mumbled response, seemingly meant to only be heard by Yoongi himself and no one else. “Five more minutes! That’s it.” Hurried footsteps shuffled away.
They were still giggling as they listened to their hyung leave. “Only Yoongi-hyung,” Jungkook gasped.
“Right?” Taehyung agreed. They exchanged another glance and broke out into giggles once again.
“Okay, okay.” Jungkook took a deep breath to calm himself. “You need to go back to practice, and I need to leave you to it.” He reached for the doorknob.
Taehyung pulled an exaggerated frown. “But, I want you to stay.”
“I shouldn't. I can’t.” He took Taehyung gently by the hand and tugged him out the door with him. “But, maybe you could stop by my place after? Or I could come to yours?”
He didn’t even have to think about it. “Come to my place.” Quickly, he pressed a kiss to Jungkook’s cheek. “We’ll have guaranteed privacy there.”
Jungkook smirked at him. “I like the way you think.” He walked Taehyung to the door of the practice room. “See you later tonight?”
“Yeah, come by in say… two hours? I want some time to shower after practice.”
“I could help you wash up,” Jungkook leered.
Taehyung shook his head. “Maybe another time.”
“Alright,” Jungkook sighed. He leaned down and stole a kiss. “See you in two hours.”
“See you,” Taehyung waved. He waited until Jungkook was out of sight before turning towards the door of the practice room, where Jimin had his face pressed against the glass, making kissy faces at them.
He showed his friend the finger as he opened the door.
“Everything get sorted out then?” Jimin asked, unbothered.
Taehyung grinned. “Yup!”
“I’m glad.”
“So am I.”
They were interrupted from speaking further by Namjoon clapping his hands. “Alright everyone, back in formation.”
“Ugh,” Yoongi protested, summing up how they all felt.