Chapter Text
On Tuesday there was a knock on the door shortly after Wei Ying and A-Yuan got home. He was exhausted; A-Yuan had basically refused to sleep at all the night before and Wei Ying had had meetings all day, the most frustrating kind of meeting, the kind where he was surrounded by idiots who were so senior in the company that even Wei Ying wasn’t bold enough to tell them that they were wrong.
He was a mess, he knew it; his hair all over the place, his button down stained in at least three places, bags under his eyes, and the apartment was worse. A-Yuan was in a stage of his development where he enjoyed nothing better than to empty all of the shelves and drawers he could reach onto the floor. But Lan Qiren was knocking on the door to bring him more of that really awfully healthy food, as he did every Tuesday and Thursday, so he had to answer.
“Knock, knock,” A-Yuan said, and giggled. He wasn’t showing any evidence of recent sleep deprivation, the tiny asshole.
Wei Ying threw the door open and smiled at Lan Qiren.
It wasn’t Lan Qiren. It was the beautiful nephew. Fuck my life, Wei Ying thought, as his polite smile slid from his face and he suddenly became aware of every deficit in his wardrobe.
“Ah, Zhan-ge!” he said out-loud. “What a surprise.”
“Mn,” Lan Zhan said. He held out the usual packages of leftovers. “Uncle suggested I bring these to you personally.”
“Eh?” Wei Ying asked. “These are… you’re the cook?”
“Mn,” Lan Zhan said again. “Uncle is not good at cooking.” He hesitated. “Wei Ying, are you okay?”
“Ah,” Wei Ying said. “I’m fine. Just the joys of parenthood, you know.”
“No,” Lan Zhan said.
Wei Ying stared at him confused. “No?” he asked, finally.
“I don’t know,” Lan Zhan said. “I don’t have children.”
“Oh,” Wei Ying said. “Yes, I know. Your uncle enjoys talking about it.”
“I would like to,” Lan Zhan said.
“Talk about it?” Wei Ying asked. He was way too tired for this.
“Have children,” Lan Zhan said, sincerely.
“Oh,” Wei Ying said, and blinked.
“You look tired,” Lan Zhan said.
“Well, that’s what happens when you don’t sleep for…” he looked at his wrist. He wasn’t wearing a watch, so he shrugged and gave up.
“Why didn’t you sleep?” Lan Zhan asked.
“The baby,” Wei Ying sighed. “He’s not really into sleeping at the moment.” He stifled a yawn.
“You should sleep,” Lan Zhan said.
Wei Ying blinked at him and refused to allow any insulting or sarcastic remarks to come out of his mouth.
“I can watch A-Yuan,” Lan Zhan said. “If you want to sleep.”
“Now?” Wei Ying asked, confused.
“I am not currently occupied,” Lan Zhan said. “I would be happy to help. A-Yuan is a delightful child.”
“Oh,” Wei Ying said. He should probably say ‘no’ to this. This was one of those things you were supposed to say ‘no’ to, like when your wealthy classmate’s family invites you on their family vacation to an expensive theme park and of course you say ‘yes’, you’re a young child, but then your aunt finds out and ohhhhh boyyyyy…
But he was soooooo tired. And Lan Zhan was so sincere.
“Okay,” Wei Ying said, and led the way into the apartment.
“Gege!” A-Yuan called, running to Lan Zhan and latching onto his leg.
“So,” Wei Ying said, looking around at the apartment and wincing at the distruction.
“You sleep,” Lan Zhan said, indicating the bedroom. “I will take care of the child.”
“Oh,” Wei Ying said. “Okay.” And he more or less stumbled into the bedroom.
It took a few minutes, when he woke in the morning, to remember that Lan Zhan had been there the night before. It was only when he took the first sip of his coffee and blearily rummaged around for some breakfast, that he realized the apartment was clean. Everything A-Yuan had pulled off of shelves and out of cupboards was back in its right place. The dishes were washed, the fridge tidied, the floors vacuumed… Wei Ying blinked in shock tried to figure out what had happened? Had Yanli visited in the middle of the night? Had Wei Ying, in his sleep deprived state, hired a cleaning company?
It was only when A-Yuan wandered out of the bedroom, hair sticking up in all directions, naked stick legs poking out from under his over large sleep shirt, the stuffed bunny held by one leg, and sleepily asked “where’s Zhan-gege?” that Wei Ying realized. Lan Zhan must have cleaned his apartment.
“Aiya!” Wei Ying exclaimed, sitting down heavily on the couch. “What the hell?!”
“What the hell!” A-Yuan repeated happily.
Wei Ying’s regular and, he can not stress this enough, unsolicited, meal deliveries happened on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Lan Qiren would hear him and A-Yuan returning and a minute later he’d be knocking on the door. At first he’d just stand in the hallway, shoving unfortunately healthy food at Wei Ying, but as time went on he’d made his way further and further into Wei Ying’s apartment, like grass encroaching on a flower bed. Soon he was drinking Wei Ying’s no doubt very substandard tea, carefully and pointedly avoiding the sticky spots on the table, and making small talk with Wei Ying which mostly consisted of giving Wei Ying unsolicited (and often completely irrelevant) advice while Wei Ying made small noises of agreement from time to time, although Lan Qiren also did a considerable amount of telling Wei Ying stories about things and people he didn’t care about.
When Lan Qiren barged his way in on Thursday, he stopped, in shock, upon sight of Wei Ying’s for-once-not-a-diaster-zone apartment. It hadn’t been that bad, Wei Ying thought, inaccurately.
“Your nephew cleaned my apartment,” Wei Ying explained.
Lan Qiren turned his startled expression on Wei Ying, who raised his hands. “I didn’t ask him too,” he said. “He just told me to go to sleep and then he cleaned and…”
Lan Qiren’s expression did not improve.
“I mean, ah, he brought by some leftovers,” Wei Ying said. “Thank you for that, by the way, and then he saw how tired I was, because of A-Yuan…”
“Hi!” A-Yuan said brightly.
“... and offered to watch A-Yuan while I took a nap, and then while I was napping he cleaned. He didn’t… we didn’t sleep together.”
“Mn,” Lan Qiren said.
“It was very kind of him though,” Wei Ying said. “You taught him well. He’s a very respectful, considerate individual.”
Lan Qiren huffed, as if there had never been any question of his nephew’s superiority. And, well, there hadn’t.
“So you don’t want to sleep with him?” Lan Qiren demanded.
Wei Ying flushed. “Well, I mean, he’s very…” he began, with no idea where he was going with this.
“He has a very good job,” Lan Qiren said. “He’s handsome. Hard working, good manners, proper. He is a very good cook.”
Wei Ying smiled and turned to make some tea. “Ah, uncle, I know, I know! He’s unquestionably a catch! Some young man will be very happy when he decides to settle down…”
“He’s ready now,” Lan Qiren said.
“Ah, is he?” Wei Ying asked.
“He’s very fond of A-Yuan,” Lan Qiren said.
“Well,” Wei Ying said, turning to smile at the boy, who was playing with a set of Lan Qiren’s hand-me-down blocks on the rug and humming tunelessly to himself. “A-Yuan is a good boy.”
“Mn,” Lan Qiren said, fondly. “I know you don’t have parents to help you find a good partner,” he continued, doggedly. “Perhaps you will let me do you this favor?”
“Ah?” Wei Ying asked, alarmed.
“You and A-Zhan are both so shy,” Lan Qiren said. “I will arrange a date for you.”
Wei Ying’s mouth popped open. No one had ever called him ‘shy’ before. “Uncle,” he said. “I really… you’re so kind but… Uncle, I don’t think I’m…”
“You don’t like A-Zhan?” Lan Qiren asked, sharply.
“No!” Wei Ying said. “No, he’s very…”
“Then I don’t see what the problem is,” Lan Qiren said.
“Uncle,” Wei Ying said, pouring him more of the sub-standard tea. “I’m not… I wouldn’t be a good partner for your nephew.”
“Eh?” Lan Qiren said. “And why not? Will you be unfaithful?”
“What?” Wei Ying asked. “No!”
“You have a decent job.”
“My job is okay,” Wei Ying said.
“Plenty of opportunity for advancement,” Lan Qiren said. “You told me that yourself.”
“Yes,” Wei Ying allowed.
“And you must have a good education, to get such a good job,” Lan Qiren continued.
“Pretty good,” Wei Ying said.
“And you are a good parent to your child,” Lan Qiren continued. “It is very responsible to take on a family member’s child. Shows good character.”
“Thank you, uncle,” Wei Ying said, feeling rather stunned.
“And you are a handsome young man.”
“Oh,” Wei Ying said. “Thank you.”
“Though you should comb your hair more often.”
Wei Ying found his hand creeping up to smooth down his hair.
“So what’s the problem then?” Lan Qiren asked, sharply.
“I’m…” Wei Ying took a deep breath. “I’m… I caused a scandal. To my family.”
“Oh,” Lan Qiren sniffed. “That.”
“You knew about it?” Wei Ying asked, surprised.
“You don’t think I know who you are, Wei Ying?” Lan Qiren demanded. “I knew your mother.”
“You… what?”
“We were in school together,” Lan Qiren reminisced. “She was a troublemaker, always trying to get the students to protest this and that. But a good person. She had a good heart.”
“I don’t know much about her,” Wei Ying said.
“Of course you don’t,” Lan Qiren said. “Yu Ziyuan hated her.”
“I know,” Wei Ying said.
“And Fengmian was always such a pushover!” Lan Qiren exclaimed. “Never had an original thought in his head!” He sighed. “I am not surprised Yu Ziyuan covered her ass and blamed everything on you. It’s her style.”
“But it was my fault,” Wei Ying protested. “I…”
“You did what you thought was right,” Lan Qiren said. “And your family failed to support you.”
Wei Ying sat down heavily. “How do you know all this?” he asked.
Lan Qiren huffed again. “I might be old, but I’m not stupid,” he said.
“I never thought you were…”
“I appreciate that you do not wish to taint A-Zhan with your scandal,” Lan Qiren said. “But the Lans are a family of principle. We are not so easily swayed by public opinions as the Jiangs.”
“Oh,” Wei Ying said.
“Is that your only objection to dating A-Zhan?” Lan Qiren asked. “Perhaps you have romantic attachments elsewhere? The young woman who often takes A-Yuan?”
Wei Ying shook his head. “That’s A-Yuan’s aunt. She’s just a friend. No, I don’t…”
Lan Qiren nodded, satisfied. “You should give A-Zhan a chance,” he said. “He does seem very quiet and rigid before you know him…”
“No,” Wei Ying said. “I don’t think he’s rigid at all. He’s been very kind to me.”
“Then let me help you,” Lan Qiren said. “I will arrange a date.”
Wei Ying felt himself give up. Why was he such a sucker for old people? “Okay,” he said.
The date was arranged for Saturday night, Lan Qiren graciously offering Lan Huan’s babysitting services.
“So soon!” he groused to Yanli on the phone, rummaging through his wardrobe. He’d thought he’d had some respectable clothing somewhere.
“Well, that’s for the best,” Yanli said, sounding amused. “He still expects you to join them for family dinner, doesn’t he? How awkward would that be, having a date set up, but being surrounded by his family first? You wouldn’t know where to look! Are you excited, A-Ying?”
“I don’t know,” Wei Ying complained, rejecting shirt after shirt. “I still can’t believe he’s interested in me. Yanli, have you met him? He’s so gorgeous.”
“Of course I met him,” Yanli said. “I went to A-Huan and A-Yao’s wedding, remember.”
“Oh god, was it gaudy?”
“It was so awful,” Yanli giggled. “Poor A-Yao inherited his father’s terrible taste. And A-Huan isn’t much better. Oh, you should ask A-Huan to show you his wedding album the next time you are at his place. A-Xuan said they took a scrapbooking course. I bet it’s incredible.”
“Oh no!” Wei Ying cried. “I can just imagine A-Huan showing me how they entered the reception hall with a smoke machine at full blast or whatever and me unable to stop from laughing. Poor A-Huan doesn’t deserve that, not when his uncle has so kindly volunteered his babysitting services.”
“They didn’t have a smoke machine,” Yanli said, thoughtfully. “Peacocks though…”
“Stop it!” Wei Ying cried, laughing.
“Anyway, A-Ying, you’re also pretty gorgeous, you know.”
“I have hair like a hedgehog,” Wei Ying said.
“Hedgehogs are cute,” Yanli teased. “I think maybe you should try to think positive and give it a chance.”
“I can’t!” Wei Ying whined, flopping down on his bed. “You don’t understand, jie. He’s so perfect! If I give it a chance I’m one hundred percent going to get my heart broken. And then it will turn out he was just humoring his uncle and find someone better and I’ll be stuck dragged along with Lan Qiren to Lan family dinners and hearing his uncle go on and on about his much better partner and I’ll wither away and die of lovesickness and my poor radish will be an orphan twice over.”
“Oh, poor A-Ying,” Yanli said, not sounding sympathetic at all.
“I’ll have to move, jie!” Wei Ying cried. “I’ll have to find a new apartment because I won’t be able to deal with the whole Lan thing. You don’t understand how serious this is.”
“I understand not wanting to take risks because you’re afraid of leaving yourself vulnerable,” she said, softly. “But it will be worth it. Give him a chance. Oh- wear that black button down with the red polka-dots. And your skinny black jeans. Give him a chance to really appreciate your ass.” He could practially hear her exaggerated wink.
“Jie, you’re the worst,” Wei Ying said.
He wore his skinny black jeans and his black button down with the red polka dots and put enough product in his hair that he looked like a wet hedgehog, which he supposed was an improvement, and A-Yuan was so excited to go to Huan-ge and Yao-ge’s for dinner he managed to somehow spill juice all over both him and Wei Ying a minute before Lan Zhan was due to show up to drive them to A-Huan’s house. (How?!? He hadn’t even been drinking juice!)
Wei Ying answered the door topless, then realized he was topless and blushed bright red.
“Hi, Zhan-ge!” he exclaimed. “Sorry! A-Yuan made a mess again.” He almost raised his hand to cover his nipples before fortunately realizing how ridiculous that would look and stopped.
“I made a mess!” A-Yuan cried, running to wrap himself around Lan Zhan’s leg, completely naked this time.
“I will help A-Yuan put on some clean clothing,” Lan Zhan offered, “while you find a new shirt.”
This would have been a sensible and generous offer, except that the one bedroom was very small, what with the two beds and two dressers and Wei Ying’s wardrobe and two adult men and one naked wriggling boy and Wei Ying found himself bending over to rummage around in his dresser with his ass very close to Lan Zhan’s face in his very tight tight black jeans.
It was an impression, he supposed, pulling out the first dinner-date worthy shirt he came across, a silky, slinky purple shirt Jiang Cheng had given him, possibly as a joke.
A-Yuan, meanwhile, was much more comfortably dressed in pink pants and a dinosaur t-shirt, and Lan Zhan grabbed his bag and asked Wei Ying if he was ready to go. Wei Ying, of course, then spent two minutes running around the apartment like a chicken with his head cut off, looking for his phone, keys, and wallet, all of which, it turned out, he’d sensibly left beside the door.
“I’m sorry,” he told Lan Zhan, as he slid into Lan Zhan’s passenger seat. A-Yuan was in the back, in the booster seat Lan Zhan had gotten for him, happily singing a song about bunnies. “We’re going to be late.”
“We’re not,” Lan Zhan said, confidently pulling out of the tight spot he’d parallel-parked into. “I budgeted time for A-Yuan to have made a mess into my schedule.”
Wei Ying couldn’t help grinning at him. “You noticed the trend, huh?” he asked. “You should know he does it specially for you.”
“I’m flattered,” Lan Zhan said, with a tiny little adorable smile. Wei Ying’s heart did a horrible fluttery thing.
“Listen,” Wei Ying said. “I know your uncle put you up to this date…”
“He didn’t,” Lan Zhan said, coming to a stop at a red light, and looking over at Wei Ying. “I put him up to it.”
“What?” Wei Ying asked. “You did?”
“Mn,” Lan Zhan said. “Uncle is, of course, very eager for me to settle down, and thinks very highly of you.”
Wei Ying narrowed his eyes. “He does?” It sounded fake.
The light turned green and Lan Zhan started driving again. “But it was my idea,” he continued.
“Oh,” Wei Ying said. “Are you sure? Because he’s been talking you up to me for a while now.”
Lan Zhan did one of those adorable little smiles again. “I’m sure,” he said.
They went to a fancy Italian place for dinner, which was actually a little annoying, because Wei Ying really wanted to get the cheese ravioli, but he had hopes for this date now and they did not include having an attack of lactose intolerance. Instead he got fettuccine with red sauce and failed to taste a single bite of it. Lan Zhan, bless his heart, got a fancy salad with cranberries and pomegranates and endives, whatever those were, and ate it delicately, one leaf at a time. He was so cute Wei Ying wanted to coo over him.
He did not. Instead he made awkward conversation. “So you work for your family’s company?” he asked (he did), and “do you have any hobbies?” (playing the guqin and doing tai chi), and “where was the last place you went on vacation” (Thailand, spending a few days there after a business conference. He enjoyed the cuisine and the climate).
The conversation flailed around until they hit on the topic of A-Yuan, whom Wei Ying had endless stories about, which Lan Zhan seemed contented to listen to.
In the end the dinner went so well Wei Ying decided to forego getting tiramisu for dessert, in the hopes that perhap Lan Zhan would be interested in continuing this date elsewhere.
“When is Huan-ge expecting us to pick up A-Yuan?” Wei Ying asked as they stepped out of the restaurant doors.
“Not until later. He and A-Yao are very pleased to be babysitting,” Lan Zhan said. “They’re hoping to become parents soon. Would you like to walk for a bit?” He gestures to the street lined with restaurants and bars.
“Sure,” Wei Ying agreed, pleased. “How, exactly, are they going to become parents?”
“Ge keeps talking about adoption, but I suspect A-Yao is thinking more along the lines of kidnapping,” Lan Zhan said, dryly.
Wei Ying laughed at this unexpected joke. “Do you think he’d try to justify it to Huan-ge or he’d just lie about it?”
“Neither,” Lan Zhan said. “He’d just distract Huan-ge everytime he tried to ask questions. That’s what he did with the flowers for the wedding.”
“The flowers for their wedding were shady?” Wei Ying asked.
“Mn,” Lan Zhan said. “A-Yao hired one of his more dubious contacts.”
“But what does that mean?” Wei Ying demanded. “What, exactly, does a shady flower dealer entail? Are the flowers stolen? Repurposed from a funeral, perhaps?”
“I did not wish to ask questions and draw attention to myself,” Lan Zhan said, and Wei Ying wondered if he was just trolling him.
Wei Ying took a chance and slipped his hand into the crook of Lan Zhan’s arm. He looked up and smiled when he saw the tips of Lan Zhan’s ears going red.
“My jie said that their wedding was awful,” he said, Lan Zhan’s side brushed against his as he walked and his insides burning with warmth.
“It was horrendous,” Lan Zhan agreed. “There was gold everywhere. There was an MC. Uncle was appalled. Ge loved it.”
“Awww,” Wei Ying said, imagining Lan Huan’s warm smile. “That’s sweet.”
“It was very sweet,” Lan Zhan said. “A-Yao may have a questionable background, but he makes ge very happy. It is worth forgiving him for his terrible sense of taste and possible criminal connections.”
They reached the water front and stood there for a moment, watching the light reflect off the black water, their shoulders brushing.
“You make me very happy too, Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan said, still looking out at the water. Wei Ying’s chest constricted.
“I do?” he squeaked. He turned and looked at Lan Zhan, who was looking back at him. “But you don’t know me very well.”
“I wish to know you better,” Lan Zhan said, and leaned forward and kissed him.
It was warm and gentle and wet and addicting. As soon as they pulled away Wei Ying knew he would want more and more and more. Lan Zhan rested his forehead against Wei Ying’s for a moment, his hands wrapped around Wei Ying’s waist.
“I, uh, want that too,” Wei Ying whispered back, and Lan Zhan smiled a very small very soft smile and kissed him again.
When Wei Ying and Lan Zhan had a very small, very respectable wedding, in a small nondenominational chapel with minimal wedding arrangements, with A-Yuan looking very cute in his little suit, Lan Huan and A-Yao sat in the front row looking a little miffed that the grooms had ignored all of their suggestions, Yanli beamed with happiness and pride, and Lan Qiren sat front and center smirking with satisfaction.