Chapter Text
Katara had absolutely no idea of where she wished to go, just that it had to be far away from Caldera Court. She brushed past the groomsmen and coach still in the drive from Azula's arrival, and set out at great speed towards the lawns and gardens surrounding the house, in hopes of becoming lost there. There was so much garden around the Court that it was nearly impossible for Zuko to find her if she did not wish to be found, which she reminded herself of to avoid thinking about Zuko or anything else. However, she did not think so far as to wonder if Zuko might be more familiar with the gardens of the house he had lived at than she might be.
In fact, Katara would have been easy to follow for anyone who had even the slightest of ideas where she might have gone, as her footsteps were loud on the paths and she made no effort to hide her passage. Zuko, pointed in her direction by an exceedingly helpful groomsman, was able to follow her without difficulty through the flowerbeds now prepared for the colder weather and finally caught up with her as she considered which turn to take to get away from the house.
"Katara," he said in utter desperation. "Please. I am so very sorry."
"Sorry?" When she looked upon him, her expression was that of a deer after a missed shot. "You are apologizing to me? For what, if I may be so bold as to ask? For being ... being ..."
Here, she fumbled her words and was quite unable to continue, confused as she was about what exactly he felt, or perhaps how to say it in a way that would not make it seem so odd to her. She had spent so much time justifying to herself that there was no way a man of means and fortune and good breeding would be at all interested in her, and had in fact broken off the engagement to him just the day before because she did not wish to be the cause of his unhappiness. And now she must again change her mind and understand that there was something very important that she had missed, which was of course that Zuko was desperately in love with her and she had been foolish not to see it.
The problem, Katara found, was that she was unsure how she herself felt about him. It had, she reminded herself, been a decision of selflessness to turn him down when she had not yet understood his interest was more than friendship, more than finance and honor. The reason it had been selfless, of course, was that she could admit to herself that it would not have been such a terrible hardship for her to marry him , only the other way around. She had not gone so far as to say she loved him. That would have been too much for her to even think in the privacy of her own mind. No, she would never have gone that far, not for Zuko when she had never even done so for Jet and he had made his intentions — at least regarding her feelings — very clear.
In a way, it would have seemed incredibly rude to have such a feeling for Mr. Zuko, as he did not deserve to be told such a thing by a woman in such a state as she was. She had not the right to love him.
"Mr. Zuko," she cried at last, "why am I the last to know?"
Zuko found this to be a just criticism and was rightfully shamed by it. "It was not my intent," he said, stepping towards her and then stopping for he did not wish her to feel cornered by him. "If I had been better able to speak to you, my fairest lady, I would have been able to express that I had no wish for some sort of marriage of business and convenience. It only became clear to me that I had failed so upon your withdrawal from the terms we had discussed. I was of course not upset with you or angered by your behavior, which I hope you know. I only came to the conclusion that I had ... not spoken as so many urged me to do."
"Many?" Katara pressed her hand to her breast in horror. "Zuko, how many others have you told of your affections?"
"I regret to inform you that your fears are correct; you may in fact be the very last to know," Zuko said. "And for that too, I offer my sincerest apologies."
This upset Katara as well and she was briefly too embarrassed to speak or indeed look at Zuko at all. To think that all her friends knew of this and had not told her. That they had let her believe whatever wild fairy stories of contracts and deals she had made up while all along Zuko had been attempting to make love to her. This would be settled at some later date, she told herself, not one to let a grudge go, but for now she would have to come up with something to say to him now.
"I should have told you more clearly, with more assurance," Zuko said. "I should not have confused you."
"Of course you should not have," Katara said. "This was the most serious of business, and now I must ... I must ..."
She colored here, attempting to think of a way to explain to him that she very much wished him to extend his offer of matrimony again, this time in a way that she could understand and would be able to accept as coming from a place of love rather than business, but there was, of course, not correct way to ask that of a man.
"And I certainly did not intend for this to be the way you learned of my feelings," Zuko continued, completely oblivious to the struggle Katara was undergoing, though it showed on her face if he had been capable of reading it. Yet, he was too wrapped up in his apologies, for again, neither one of them was skilled in the art of communicating feelings in a clear and true way and so both were doing what was likely their best and failing even at that. "I had wished," Zuko said, "to communicate to you the depth of my feeling in the normal way, a way that did not involve your family or mine, that would have satisfied that part of you that was looking not for a marriage of convenience lacking in love, but instead that which yearned for the thing we are always told to abandon — a man who adores you, a love that may ... perhaps ... be reciprocated?"
He looked here so sad and desperate that Katara, despite her many confusions and misgivings about this conversation, managed, "That may perhaps be the case."
It was not much encouragement, that was true, but Zuko had no need of very much at all in order to dive headfirst into hope. He brightened immediately from his dower, self-pitying state and looked upon Katara with something like wonder. She would not meet his gaze, so intense was it, and instead attempted to keep all her thoughts to herself, though it was not working as well as she may have wished. Zuko took yet another step towards her and found that this time she did not flee, though he still kept distance, unwilling to put her away for that indeed might break the poor heart that he was only now allowing to flourish.
"Katara, if you so wish it, I will not speak of this and we can go back to whatever relationship you would prefer, whether that be friendship or hatred, but am I wrong in saying that that is not what you would wish? Please, do not hold me in suspense and tell me truthfully, do you ... could you ... is there a chance?"
Katara wondered at simply telling him yes, but she was still uncertain and unsure both of him and his intentions. It had been a difficult year for her and it had made her skittish and nervous as a young filly, unwilling to take any hand offered to her unless she was fully cognizant of its contents and intentions. She drew herself up as much as she could, which was very little given the circumstances, and said, "A chance of what, Zuko? I am still unsure what it is that we are discussing, what you are saying to me. You stumble very much over your words and phrases in the best of times, and I know you to sometimes speak in ways you do not mean, so let us be clear in our statements here."
Zuko, sure that he had been as clear as he could be, scowled at Katara. "I believe you know very well what I am saying, but if it is your pleasure to hear me repeat myself, I am willing to do so. I am very much in love with you, Miss Katara, and have been for some time. I cannot express myself more clearly than that, for you are not wrong that I am unskilled in the art of it and would much rather let you be the one to speak for both of us. To that end, for my tongue is not skilled enough to explain the depth and breadth of my vast feelings for you, I wish to employ your help for the rest of my life. I know that you have recently turned down my offer of marriage, but I would now make it again, in earnest, with no deception between us. Katara, I would have your hand and I would have it not for money or for convenience, but for love. I can say no more than this, for it would assume too much. I could beg my case with the language of passion, for there are a million and one things I might say to you about the shine of stars in your eyes or the beauty of light upon your cheek, but I would not have you interested only in pretty words. I am not a man given to beauty in many things, for I know how I look and find much of beauty to be beyond me, as one who is not beautiful. Please, Katara, do not ask me for beautiful words. I will give you them if you desire, but first I would ask to ensure that they are wanted and I am not making a fool of myself and putting you in a position to become uncomfortable by such foolishness."
Katara heard this and it was enough for her to truly understand him for perhaps the first time in their acquaintance. "I have turned down your offer once, after being silly enough to accept it under pretenses that I wish I would never have stooped to," Katara said. "I will not make that mistake again. For I broke our engagement for what I believed to be the most selfless of reasons: I had been led to believe that you did not love me and it seemed, however unlikely, that I did in fact love you. I did not wish the heartbreak of seeing you every day, of being your wife and yet being a stranger, when a stranger was the last thing I aspired to be. Now it is clear to me that it would have been very selfish of me, to not wish to look upon the man one loves and see no love in him every day for the rest of one's life. And I will now be even more selfish, and ... and ..." And here even Katara's vast store of courage failed her and she turned away slightly before saying, "I would be very grateful to accept your offer of matrimony again, in truth, out of ... of love."
Zuko closed the distance between them and caught Katara's hands in his own. "This is more than hope you have given me. I do not wish to misunderstand you yet again, as you and I both seem prone to hearing what we wish: you will marry me?"
"I will," Katara said, smiling up at him. "And I will do it not for money but for that rarer and more delicate thing that all of us wish for, whether we admit it to ourselves or not."
"This is greatly unexpected, for I had thought your heart still hardened against me."
"I had thought the same, until I was truly tested. It was only in the giving up on your affections that I was able to see that I possessed them myself. It seems I should have simply told you such a thing, but I was in no state to do so and a lady is taught not to be selfish. But here, I think I will continue my selfishness for a while longer and be able to have you with me whether it is the noble thing to do or not."
They spoke in this way for a while longer, clasping hands in the garden and smiling at one another as though they were the only two people in the world. Unbenounced to them, back at the house, Miss Azula had been intercepted by the ever intrepid Miss Suki and kept away from the discussion — Suki, who was a good deal more capable than either of the lovers had understood that the addition of such a cruel sister to their conversation could be disastrous. She was so forceful in her conversation and argument to Azula, as well as a good deal of physicality too unladylike to repeat here, that they were left along to say what needed to be said and it was only when they were finally ready to leave the garden and resume their interactions with the rest of the world now with everything true and clear between them, that they found Azula gone and Suki sitting in the parlor with no bonnet and a torn dress, looking very pleased with herself and drinking Mr. Iroh's best tea.
"Ah good, you've returned," Suki said brightly when they entered the room side by side. "Have you discussed everything that needs to be discussed?"
Iroh, who kept Suki company, looked upon his nephew with great joy. "I have been told that perhaps things that are hidden are no longer so?" he said hopefully. "We are now given joy to look forward to, rather than the deep darkness of winter residing in your heart?"
"There is no need for such dramatics," said Zuko, a man much given to dramatics. "We have spoken as we should and come to an agreement and understanding that benefits all of us."
"So when will you be married?" asked Suki.
Katara colored again and scowled at her friend who did not seem to care in the slightest. Suki continued drinking tea and Katara settled beside her and took her hand. "It is unkind of you to take the announcement from me," she said.
"You have already announced it," Suki said, which was quite true. "You have also announced that it will no longer be happening. I think that is quite enough from you and I would prefer to accept the reignition of your matrimony not from you but from my own eyes. Or perhaps from Zuko, if he would be so good as to give it? As you can see, I am in the greatest of suspense."
"It is very true that I have asked for Katara's hand, again, and she has accepted," Zuko said solemnly.
"We shall hope this one sticks," Suki said, beaming at her friend as Iroh got up to congratulate Zuko, though whether it was on his impending marriage or on his ability to fully explain his own feelings was unknown to all but him.
"And what of Sokka?" Katara asked.
"What of him?" Suki said airily. "He has already agreed once, I am sure he will agree again, though you may have to accept that he may tease you for being so fickle. It is an unfortunate trait in a man as handsome as your brother, to be so prone to mocking his younger sister, but one must accept that no one is perfect."
"I do not mean that," Katara isisted. "I mean now that our debts are cleared and my future is set, will I have to force my brother to communicating his own intentions towards you? And then, will I have to force you to accept?"
"Oh, no, no need for that," Suki said plainly, raising her tea to her lips. "He asked me last week."
This was news to both Zuko and Katara and they expressed their surprise and confusion and wondered aloud why they had not been told of this happy occurrence.
"Well, I must say, the two of you have been so worried about your own affairs that one has barely been able to get either of you to think of anything else. I do not have to ask and accept and reject and ask again and finally accept truly in order to say yes to something, unlike some others I might name. After Zuko discussed the issue with Sokka, he was clear that his sister would, eventually, accept. We spoke on the matter and I agreed, and then it was only a matter of his speaking to my family. All that is done now and we have simply been waiting for the two of you to decide upon your plan of action so that we may openly discuss. I love you both like the family you will soon be, but it is clear that you are both selfish and pigheaded people and I would not wish to attempt to get my own feelings taken into account by two people so clearly incapable of doing so."
Katara insisted this was unfair in the most stringent of tones, but Zuko had to agree privately that Miss Suki had clearly done the right thing and neither one of them had been in any state to understand the problems or joys of anyone besides themselves. But in the end, it was of no consequence, for there was enough happiness to go around.
Zuko worried for some time about the dark shade of Azula and the even darker one cast by his father, but when word came that Zuko would no longer be considered part of the family, he did not worry. He had discussed the matter with Iroh, who had used his own connections to divorce Zuko's funds from those of his family before anything could happen to them. Iroh had the kind of analytical mind, beyond his persona of stupidity, that meant the money would be invested and safe in other ventures and Zuko would experience only the slightest interruption in his own lifestyle. Katara kindly offered her own assistance in the budgeting and management of his funds in the interim and he gladly accepted, telling her that perhaps, if she was amenable to it, she could continue to do so even after their period of belt-tightening had concluded.
However, Zuko did request that they postpone their vows until his affairs were settled, and though Katara was much against this, she agreed for his peace of mind. This gave Suki and Sokka, who had no interest in waiting, the time they needed to wed in peace, not overshadowed as it might have been by the dramatic pair. Sokka complained much afterwards that his sister had monopolized the affections of his wife and he barely saw her, and indeed it was true that she and Katara were in conversation more often than they were not, but neither one of them heeded Sokka's complaints.
Some argument had passed between Toph and her parents, aided by Mr. Aang to an extent that none of the participants would speak of, but it was soon clear that whatever had been said, the Bei Fongs were no longer expecting the marriage of their daughter any time soon. Toph was uncharacteristically silent on the reasonings for this and her friends learned not to ask; however, she seemed very smug about the whole affair. For his part, when asked, Aang told them that it was between the Bei Fongs and powers higher than himself, and, though he was less smug, it was clear he too would say nothing. All in all, no one complained, for it made Toph far more tolerable and she was often visiting now in a way that had been impossible before. This also blunted the loss, in the Bei Fongs eyes, of the two most eligible bachelors in the county, for they had more important things to attend to.
All in all, the winter passed well and in spring, Katara and Zuko were married. Very little changed, for these things often seem more important to the ones living them than to the greater world and when they are settled, it is suddenly clear that whatever has happened in the small petty dramas of family have not affected anything outside that sphere of influence. Iroh was the one most pleased with the turn of events and, with Suki expecting her first child, the excitement turned quickly away from the newlyweds and onto the birth, which was exactly what Katara and Zuko wanted. They became a couple who argued often, but in the playful way of those who are comfortable enough to do so. The dinners and parties held at Caldera Court under Katara's hand were a joyful affair and with the debts paid, Southwinter began to return to its previous state of grace and prosperity. And all was well again, and quiet, as these things should be, when the sourness of youth begins to give way to the sweetness of contented life.
THE END