Chapter Text
Dean balled up his first draft of the report explaining why they had needed the stakes, traps and nets they had to finish dealing with the kelpies that they had had last week. At least it was reasonably coherent and Bobby wouldn't fuck with it. He knew kelpies were a pain in the ass, and he'd even managed to submit the shit properly through the automated system instead of tossing a paper on Bobby's desk.
(Paper tossing was allowed in the case of Wendigos and Dragons. It was a rule, established silently between the both of them. There was some shit that you just didn't talk about and needed to both drink and sleep off.) Dean leaned back in his chair and opened up his computer, settling it easily on his lap. Now to see if they could find another case nearby, keep Sam distracted from the fact that he was supposed to be hearing from those jackasses in the Monster Eradication Research department any day now.
At least if Sam was in charge of the damn place, they'd stop giving him shit every time he called because he didn't want to spend fifteen hours digging through old papers in a local library. That's why they were there, to do this sort of research for him. Sam had been doing it for decades, there was no reason that they couldn't do it as well already. But they weren't fans of him, and if Sam was there, they wouldn't have a choice.
Dean grinned and pulled up a news story and studied it, typing out a few notes for himself. It might be an evil spirit, might be a pissed off ex. Would be worth the drive out of DC to maybe check it out and see what was going on. He'd also have to talk to Bobby about getting that Kansas branch up and running. He and Sam had found that old hunter bunker more than a year ago and the department was still attempting to scrub the magic off the place so they could use it.
"Dean."
Dean looked up at Sam over the top of his computer and resisted the urge to sigh. Sam might be taller than him, but he was still younger and the kid never could contain himself when he had news. Sam looked like he was about to bounce off the damn walls with excitement. Which meant that he had just lost his partner to the research geeks in the damn basement. "What's up Sammy?"
"It's Sam," Sam growled, immediately scowling as he dropped himself into a seat. "Do you have to be such an asshole?"
"Always," Dean said, raising his eyebrows. "Kinda my job, remember? Hey, I think I found us a-"
"Dean," Sam interrupted. "Come on man, you know that that kind of distraction doesn't work with me."
Dean huffed and settled into his seat a little bit better. He did know it and that was the problem. He wanted to make sure that Sam stayed with him, but that wouldn’t make Sam happy. Sam wanted this to be more than just hunting, he wanted the career. Dean just wanted to shoot the things that ate people. "All right, out with it then."
Sam's grin was back in a second. "I've been offered the job!"
Dean fought down the immediate lurch of fear that that drove and gave his baby brother the biggest grin he could manage. He moved closer and wrapped his arms around Sam's shoulders in a quick hug before ruffling his hair. Sam swatted at him and he laughed, dancing out of the way.
"Dammit, Dean, can't you fucking congratulate me like a normal person?" Sam grumbled, smoothing down his hair as he looked around. "Besides, you know what this means..."
"Nope!" Dean said, shaking his head. "I'm not going to think about it, because the idea is impossible and maybe now the old man will let me work on my own like I have been asking for for years now."
Sam rolled his eyes. "You and I both know that that is never going to happen."
Dean whistled and focused back on the computer. That was the part that he was afraid of. But he'd also gone through almost every eligible partner that they had and majority of them refused to work with him any longer. "So when do you transition over to being a full-time nerd?"
"It's not a nerd, it's-"
"I know, I know," Dean said, waving his hand. "L.E.G.A.C.Y., a throwback to the roots of the Men of Letters that were killed by demons more than fifty years ago."
Sam snorted. "Say that a little more derisively, why don't you?"
"We're monster eradication," Dean said with a shrug. "We kill bad things. Your new department researches the bad things so we can kill them better and more effectively. What do I care about the corporate bullshit name?"
"You're hopeless," Sam said with a shake of his head. "But, you're happy for me?"
Dean looked up from the computer again and he could see the worry and the fear there. That he'd think less of Sam for not going out on active hunts any longer. "I'm happy for you, kid. You wanted this, worked your ass off, and got it."
Sam's grin was blinding and Dean fought down a smile, looking back at his computer. "In the meantime, how about this case? You feeling up for a drive? Think it's a simple spirit that we need to help move on."
Sam laughed and stood up, stretching. "Yeah, if you finished the report on the kelpie infestation we dealt with."
"Yes," Dean said, looking up at him. "Even used the automated system, so don't you dare bitch at me."
Sam held up his hands. "No bitching happening, I'm so proud of you for finally stepping into the twenty-first century."
Dean grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair and threw it over his shoulder, holding out the keys. "Let's get going!"
~!~
"An easy hunt!" Sam shouted, rounding a corner and ducking as a fire poker hit the wall where his head had been only seconds before. "Isn't that what you told me?"
"Fuck you!" Dean shouted back, crashing to his knees when a fucking axe came flying through the air. "Down!"
Sam hit the deck just behind him and the axe wheeled above his head. "What fucking spirit throws an axe?!"
"Hell if I know, but we need to get the fuck out of here!" Dean said, clambering to his feet and running for the door, only to have it slam shut in front of his face. He stepped back and kicked at the lock, but the door didn't budge. The air was starting to get thicker in the room, which didn't bode well for either of them.
"Move, Dean," Sam said.
Dean did it. Now wasn't the time to quibble about which of them could knock down a damn door faster. Sam kicked, hard, and it seemed like the whole damn side of the house rattled, but the door didn't budge.
Dean tightened his hand on his shotgun and lifted it. He took a deep breath and looked around the room. "We're not alone," he warned Sam. Sam's gun was out and in his hand in seconds. Silver bullets wouldn't do much good against a ghost, unlike his rock salt, but some things were just good to shoot at.
"Well, well, well. Look who it is," A low voice purred.
Sam turned and pointed the gun at the woman walking down the stairs. "FBI! Freeze and put your hands up, or I'll shoot."
She laughed, tossing her hair behind her. "Do you think that your silver bullets can do anything against me, Sam Winchester?"
Dean shared a look with Sam and gave him the smallest of nods. They both raised their guns and fired, sending her sprawling back against the stairs. She didn't stay down long though, but it was enough to see her eyes turn black as she snarled at the burning salt. "Sam! Demon!"
"Fuck!" Sam swore, throwing himself to the side as she launched herself at him, putting her fist through the front door.
Dean scrambled off the floor and pointed the shotgun at her, firing off another shot, leaving two smoking holes in her back. "How well do you remember that exorcism, Sam?"
"Well enough!" Sam shouted.
"Start talking then!" Dean snapped, cocking the gun, firing another round, keeping the demon's attention on him.
"You think these salt rounds are enough to stop me?" she asked.
Dean backed up, cocking the gun again. He had two more rounds before he had to reload and there were at least four more shells in his pocket. Now he just had to make sure to stall her long enough for Sam to rattle off the damn exorcism.
"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica," Sam managed to get out, ducking under a flying book. "Spirit is back!"
"One problem at a time!" Dean said, keeping his eyes on the demon as she smirked at him. "Keep going!"
"Ergo, omnis legio diabolica, adiuramus te...cessa decipere humanas creaturas, eisque æternæ perditionìs venenum propinare...Vade, satana, inventor et magister omnis fallaciæ, hostis humanæ salutis..." Sam said, keeping his attention on the demon and anything else that wanted to come flying at him.
She shuddered and blinked slowly, stepping closer. "Not even an exorcism by the vessel of Lucifer is enough to stop me, Dean Winchester. You are needed in Hell, we have a job for you."
Dean fired. "One job is all I can handle right now, sweetheart, thanks!"
Sam kept going, following his brother and the demon into the living room. He needed to hurry up. "Humiliare sub potenti manu Dei; contremisce et effuge, invocato a nobis sancto et terribili nomine...quem inferi tremunt...Ab insidiis diaboli, libera nos, Domine."
The demon suddenly turned on Sam and snarled. "You think you can force me to leave this vessel, send me back to hell? I should bring you with me, vessel of Lucifer!"
"Sam!" Dean shouted, sliding two more shells into the shotgun, firing immediately. "Finish the damn thing!" he snapped.
Sam stared at her, frozen, the words he needed to say slipping from his mind. "Vessel?"
She smirked. "Yes. Of Lucifer, as a matter of fact. You are evil incarnate, after all. Hasn't anyone ever bothered to tell you?"
Dean tackled the demon to the ground and pushed his hand to her face, growling, "Ut Ecclesiam tuam secura tibi facias libertate servire, te rogamus, audi nos!!"
Her whole body bucked and Dean was glad when Sam dove forward and planted himself on her legs, keeping her pinned in place long enough for him to repeat the whole damn thing, before black smoke escaped out of her mouth, a loud shrieking noise escaping as it faded from sight.
Dean slowly rolled off of the woman they were sitting on top of and pressed his hand to her neck. Pulse was faint, but there. "You fired non-lethal?"
"Yeah," Sam said, grunting. "Need an ambulance." He pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed three numbers. "Need to get her on the lawn before that spirit comes back."
"Front door," Dean said, pointing to it. He kept his eye out for any more flying objects and tried not to think about how the hell he was going to do all of the paperwork for this. Sam was able to get the door open without issue and Dean picked up the woman carefully and carried her outside.
"Dean, what she said-"
"Call Bobby," Dean interrupted, looking at Sam. He could already see the fear and worry in his face. "Whatever the hell else happens doesn't matter, but if we've got demons showing up talking about Lucifer, we need to call Bobby and we need to do it now."
Sam nodded, pulling out his phone again, pressing one number before holding it up to his ear.
Dean focused on the woman as he put her down on the grass, pressing his hands to the wound on her shoulder. The ambulance was thankfully quick, and by the time they carted her off, he was ready to sleep for the next year and a half. The look on Sam's face told him that that wasn't going to be happening any time soon. "How bad?"
"Return to headquarters. Immediately. No staying overnight here," Sam said.
Dean cursed. "What about the spirit?"
"Leave it," Sam said.
"We can't just leave a fucking haunted house here that killed someone!" Dean snapped.
Sam sighed. "It's going to take time to figure out where the hell the items we need to burn are. At the moment we can't afford to wait. I know you want to, Dean, but we've got bigger problems on our hands."
Dean didn't bother answering and led his brother to the Impala. "Fuck, if we're driving back tonight, I need coffee. And so do you, for that matter. You need to tell me every single fucking thing that old man said, because I swear if you leave anything out trying to spare my-"
"Dean Winchester."
Dean spun towards the new voice, his gun already in his hand and pointed at the woman standing in front of him who hadn't been there a few seconds ago. "Lady, I've had a very, very bad day when it comes to randomly appearing women. I suggest you get the hell out of here."