1 - 20 of 1,081 Bookmarked Items in Absurd
Navigation
List of Bookmarks
-
Tags
Summary
A botched Transfiguration accident (involving a very distracted Hermione) turns Draco into a very handsome, very arrogant Mallard duck. The catch? He retains his human consciousness and his signature sneer, which translates into a very aggressive quack.
-
The Day Darth Marr Walked Into a Toy Store by ChristineThalassinou1990
Fandoms: Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
28 Jul 2019
Tags
Summary
Darth Marr had no intention to teach ever again; but when he unexpectedly acquired a new apprentice, he realized that he still enjoyed it. So he decided to get something nice for his apprentice.
Loosely connected to my "Force, Destiny, Whatever..." fic, they're taking place in the same AU, but this story is a whole on its own.
-
Bookmark Collections:
-
Bookmark Tags:
-
How To Reject a Bride: Instruction by The Eminence in Shadow by Marp8077
Fandoms: 陰の実力者になりたくて! | The Eminence in Shadow - Aizawa Daisuke (Light Novels), 陰の実力者になりたくて! | The Eminence in Shadow (Anime)
23 May 2026
Tags
Summary
Cid Kagenou is a low-ranking nobleman and student at Midgar Academy. He's finally managed to end his phony relationship with Princess Alexia, but there's a catch: his family (or rather, one person who's definitely not his sister) has stopped believing in his ability to find a future wife and has decided to take matters into their own hands.
Now the Eminence in Shadow faces perhaps his greatest challenge yet - finding a worthy wife with whom he can continue to be the Eminence in Shadow and eliminating family options (other than from sister).
Or a comedy about Cid trying to find a "worthy" wife and rejecting options from his family (not from his sister).
-
Tags
Summary
Teddy's your average Shota Hero: some leather armor, a shiny sword, well-worn boots, and a cock that could kill a god-wait what!?
-
Waifu Wars 4: Waifu U by yazminaydem
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, 炎炎ノ消防隊 | Enen no Shouboutai | Fire Force (Anime), Final Fight (Video Game), Street Fighter, 対魔忍アサギ | Taimanin Asagi (Anime), Action Taimanin (Video Game), Black Lagoon (Anime & Manga), Naruto (Anime & Manga), Bayonetta (Video Games), Disney - Fandom, Metroid Series, Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel), Warhammer 40.000, Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
24 May 2026
Tags
Summary
Mommy’s going back to school!
That’s right—we’re parodying those classic 2000s college flicks in the most gloriously trashy way possible. Watch as Midnight, playing the “not-like-the-other-girls” rebel, and her crew tackle the everyday battles of classes, campus drama, mean-girl rivalries, and a sneaky little plot brewing just beneath the surface.
Welcome to Waifu U, the exclusive finishing school for waifus where the curriculum is the Five Pillars of the Waifu Honor Code… and every lesson is taught by legendary guest professors who take “extra credit” very seriously.
This mainline entry skewers every college-movie cliché and horny academy fantasy you love (and hate) with maximum camp, crack treated seriously, fourth-wall-breaking commentary, and unapologetic smut.
Series
- Part 11 of The Waifuverse
-
Investigating Physiologic Changes Induced By Protein AG0825 In Human Models: A Prospective Cohort Study by thfrstfrt
Fandoms: NCT (Band)
22 May 2026
Tags
Summary
Background: A cohort of university science students (N=13) experienced acute-onset superhuman abilities following ingestion of unidentified food provided by a faculty member (n=12 exposed; n=1 unexposed(?) control).
Methods: Participants attempted to continue normal academic functioning despite emerging powers, unclear allegiances, and escalating interpersonal tension. Observational data were limited by rampant denial and inconsistent self-reporting.
Results: Statistically significant increases were observed in reality distortion (p<0.001), emotional pining (p<0.01), and poor decision-making (p<0.0001). The control subject displayed unexpected anomalies inconsistent with baseline human parameters.
Conclusion: AG0825 appears to grant adaptive advantages under acute stress, though side effects remain unknown. Further study is required to determine whether the primary threat is biochemical, institutional, or emotional.
or,
Thirteen science students eat free food and immediately develop superpowers. Now they’re juggling finals and a professor who may or may not be playing God.
(AG0825 for short)
-
Bookmark Collections:
-
-
Tags
Summary
Hyuuga Hinata is three years old when Kumo-nin kidnap and immediately kill her. She returns, but not quite as herself.
Not-Hinata is everything Hinata isn’t; she’s abrasive, blunt, and confident. She deals with her problems swiftly and mercilessly, with only three exceptions. The first being the political struggle between the main family and the branch family of her clan. The second, the persistent looming cosmic threat of chakra permeating every aspect of this world (which no one else finds concerning). And the third, a boy her age with the lofty dream of becoming Hokage.
Hyuuga Hinata would much rather face political turmoil and lovecraftian horrors than Uzumaki Naruto. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have much of a choice.
Series
- Part 1 of Incomprehensible Universe
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 138,774
- Chapters:
- 35/?
- Collections:
- 10
- Comments:
- 868
- Kudos:
- 1,642
- Bookmarks:
- 586
- Hits:
- 53,308
-
Bookmark Notes:
this is really good and shes not as crazy anymore
-
Bookmark Notes:
35
-
From the Same Dirt: Home and Guilt by Lavender_from_Nowhere
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
15 Nov 2025
Tags
Summary
Extras to "From the Same Dirt"
Home: The life of Shang Qinghua and Shen Jiu in their newfound family.
Guilt: The story of Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge after the trial.Reading the main work is recommended unless you want to be confused.
Series
- Part 2 of From the Same Dirt + extras
- Part 7 of SVSSS fics (mostly Shen Jiu)
-
Dooku bequeaths Obi-Wan everything™ by jesuisdeux
Fandom Star Wars (Marvel Comics), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Rebellion Era - All Media Types
14 Mar 2021
Summary
Obi-wan is on Tatooine. He has peace. He has. Really. But when a bank officer knocks his door, his peace, as might be expected, is disturbed. Many credits, on a bank account and a whole planet, on the verge of internal conflict--Serenno. Not a problem. Definitely. Everything is under control.
It is not even the first time he tries to solve a civil war.
But trying to do such thing remotely may be a problem.
- Words:
- 4,737
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 94
-
Bookmark Tags:
-
An Exercise in Diplomacy by Zuzaruz
Fandoms: 葬送のフリーレン | Sousou no Frieren | Frieren: Beyond Journey's End (Manga), 葬送のフリーレン | Sousou no Frieren | Frieren: Beyond Journey's End (Anime)
29 Mar 2026
Tags
Summary
Fern and Frieren find themselves in a pinch, one where combat doesn’t seem like an option. Their hope is merely for peace, but maybe there’s something more to be gained in the process…
Until then, is Fern able to hang on to her sanity? Or her sanctity? Or anything, really?
-
Shame In Their Heart (Blood On Their Hands) by leothelion333
Fandoms: Five Nights at Freddy's
05 May 2026
Tags
Summary
Are you really getting paid to fuck the Daycare Animatronic?? Is that your life now??
Apparently.-
Bookmark Notes:
7
-
Bookmark Notes:
Ch.7
Chica: you good? I can help yknow?
Mc: Chica I need ruined by that animatronic twink
Chica: oh!
-
Summary
Tim Drake discovers two important things at the tender age of nine.
First, Dick Grayson is Robin.
Second, oranges (and, by extension, all citrus) are magical and can heal any ailment.
Tim is, despite being a certified genius, kind of an idiot.
- Words:
- 21,826
- Works:
- 8
- Bookmarks:
- 401
-
Bookmark Tags:
Bookmark Collections:
-
Bookmark Tags:
Bookmark Notes:
P1 1/1 - when life gives you... oranges?
P2 1/1 - oranges georg
P3 1/1 - clemen-time to leave
P4 1/1 - cara cara me away from here
P5 1/1 - seville-ing old scores
P6 1/1 - blood (oranges) are thicker than water
P7 1/1 - adoption is all the (o)ra(n)ge nowadays
P8 11/? - arr, yer a scurvy lad
-Work Details:
https://archiveofourown.org/series/4277110
citrus tim by Sonnet3141
FandomBatman - All Media Types
Teen And Up Audiences, Not Rated
No Archive Warnings Apply
Gen
Complete Series
18 May 2025
No Archive Warnings Applytim drake & orangesTim Drake & Jason ToddTim Drake & Damian WayneTim Drake & Bruce WayneTim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian WayneMrs. McIlvaine & Tim DrakeTim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Damian WayneCassandra Cain & Damian WayneStephanie Brown & Tim DrakeTim Drake (DCU)Jason ToddDamian WayneRa's al GhulBruce WayneJoker (DCU)Dick GraysonMrs. McIlvaineKlarion (DCU)Kon-El | Conner KentStephanie BrownBarbara GordonCassandra Cainin which tim very obviously has scurvy but shh he doesn't know thatTim Drake Lacks Self-Preservation Instinctsthere will be more fics in this series probably once i uh write themjason’s bat-doption senses came pre-installedjason will see a little kid radiating Big Problems energy and be like “what if i befriended that”the street kids of gotham are So Confused“average american eats 15 pounds of oranges per year” factoid actually just statistical erroraverage american eats 1 pounds of oranges per year. oranges georg-in which our boy basically has a "kidnap me!" sign stapled to his back lolgosh if i had a nickel for every time someone called dibs on this boy i'd have three nickelswhich isn't a lotbut it's weird that it happened thriceis here for like five secondsthe joker dies lollisten: could tim ask for help? definitely. does he do that? Absolutely Not.timothy jackson "i started this with a specific plan and so help me i will Follow The Plan" drakejust imagine bruce having like seventeen heart attacks when he realizes tim is goneonly for alfred to reveal that he put a tracker on the kidgee tim how come your mom lets you get kidnapped thrice?yes tim is counting the rescue as a kidnappingTim Drake and Jason Todd are Siblingsjason has had this tim for five minutes-they're brothers your honordamian's league background really showing up here huhin which the author's feelings about the canon she has never read are very much on displaycanon is dead i killed it with this orange-literally who the fuck thinks it's a good ideato take a child who was raised in an incredibly structured environmentand just TAKE THE RULES AWAYWHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENS WHEN YOU TAKE THE RULES AWAY FROM A CHILDTHEY TRY TO FIND THEMMANUALLYWITH THEIR FACEthere will be multiple chapters of this probably someday so i hope you like the premise lolpoor mrs mac assuming that tim has even one singular brain cellthe boy does notyes i did make a "canonical" excuse for the shenanigans that will ensuekon is the first to suffer loli'd apologize for what i did to jason but i'm not sorrybeen waiting to write that who's on first-ass bit for AGESi have stolen the idea for the goonion from pandaredd on tiktok because it is objectively hilariousdamian regrets ever having siblingsDick Grayson Has ADHDauthor is projectingthis one's not quite as cracky as many of the othersstill patently absurdto be clearin which the batfamily gets a two-for-one deal on new siblings
Summary
Tim Drake discovers two important things at the tender age of nine.First, Dick Grayson is Robin.
Second, oranges (and, by extension, all citrus) are magical and can heal any ailment.
Tim is, despite being a certified genius, kind of an idiot.
Words: 21,826 Works: 8
-
Bookmark Notes:
Tim doesn’t have scurvy, he just has not-enough-magic-oranges disease. This is normal.
-
How to Seduce a Village Healer: A Guide for Immortal Despots by Sal_luxx
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
07 Jun 2025
Tags
Summary
"Tell them we require her expertise. That... certain medicinal plants grow only in our realm."
Another lie. It mattered not. Few dared question the Elvenking's wishes.
When healer Elora is lured to the Woodland Realm by increasingly ridiculous pretexts,tree taxes, nonexistent treaties, and a suspiciously convenient "Human Excellence Award",she doesn't realize she's become the target of an immortal king's breeding notions.Thranduil has waited three thousand years to find someone worthy of continuing his bloodline. Elora's resemblance to his dead queen makes her perfect. There's just one problem: she's not particularly interested in becoming royal broodmare, no matter how beautiful or absurdly determined he might be.
What follows is a battle of wills between an ancient king and a mortal woman who refuses to be collected like a pretty bauble. Between archaic rituals that baffle his own court and Thranduil's increasingly unhinged internal monologue about getting her pregnant immediately, love becomes a dangerous game.Some cages are gilded. Some captors quote poetry while planning your reproductive future. And sometimes escape isn't the problem,it's realizing you don't want to.
-
Will Guinevere Beck Get a Date? YES NO by DuplicitlyWistful for My awesome friend Thomas
Fandoms: You Series - Caroline Kepnes, You (TV 2018)
02 Mar 2026
Tags
Summary
Who the fuck is Guinevere Beck?
Why the fuck doesn’t she have a date?
And how the fuck can I profit off of this?Beck is the only person listed without a date to the second largest party on NYE in all of the city after her ex-boyfriend Benji ditched her. Now someone has made an event contract on Kalshi on whether or not she’s going to have a date in time. People keep piling on money for NO. Joe Goldberg, who’s already been stalking her phone, knows she’s betting the last of her savings on YES in a desperate attempt to find love or get rich trying, and he’s going to do whatever it takes to make her dreams come true and have his "When Harry Met Sally" moment.
Expect canon-typical warnings for everything. Please be advised.
-
- Words:
- 135,741
- Works:
- 51
- Bookmarks:
- 84
-
Tags
Summary
''Is it any of your buisness ?'' Spat Haewon, putting her guard up.
Lily grabbed a column and balanced herself around it, looking at Haewon with that Oh-so-inferiurating smile.
''I guess it isn't. But I'm curious about you.''
''Why is that ?''
''You always look so poised and self-assured. But today, I found you stressed, looking tired, and swearing very loudly in the middle of the park, under the rain, learning a piece that you should not be learning. It's all very intriguing. And when I find a pretty girl intriguing, I ask questions.''
She moved on to the next column, and the next, never losing eye-contact with Haewon. It was a bit hypnotizing, and surprisingly, her gaze on her was not entirely unpleasant. She was far from being the worst person to ever approach her.OR
Haewon is trying hard to memorize her lines and a very annoying (and beautiful) stranger interrupts her.
-
Bookmark Tags:
-
If the Ship's Rockin', Don't Come a-Knockin' by jjgp1112
Fandoms: One Piece (Anime & Manga)
23 Mar 2026
Tags
Summary
It’s been seven years since the Straw Hats claimed history and a new world along with it. After going their separate ways to pursue their separate dreams, they’re meeting up for a reunion — and the Captain and Navigator are arriving with an unexpected little guest. With so many questions about this guest's origin, the answer may lie in a being that knows all about one's innermost inhibitions. It's really, really stupid.
-
Bookmark Tags:
-
Summary
Rumi's mind gets impulsive when she panics, the fans love to see it.
- Words:
- 51,582
- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 127
-
Tags
Summary
Onism, noun: the awareness of how little of the world you’ll experience.
The world can suck, it can be cruel and apathetic to it's inhabitant's plights, just as much it can be beautiful and full of wonder.
Too bad you saw none of the latter. Returning home after doing overtime at a boring and draining job, you fall into a hole you didn't notice on the road, and end up falling... somewhere.
First thing you see? A weird moon person and a living Picasso painting arguing. -
Topsy Turvy by Kozy248
Fandoms: Original Work, Multi-Fandom, The Hunchback of Notre Dame (Disney Animated Movies), Too many to list but here are just a few, Little Witch Academia, Super Mario & Related Fandoms, Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types, Super Smash Brothers, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Marvel (Comics), DCU (Comics)
01 Apr 2026
Tags
Summary
It’s Topsy Turvy Day, and this time, the Festival of Fools has gone completely off the rails. When the bells of Notre Dame ring wrong, characters from every fictional universe crash the party.
Heroes, villains, anime protagonists, video game icons, literary legends, and many more.
Everyone is here!
It also contains a fun twist involving the role of a surprise guest.
Let the chaos commence!
-
Bookmark Notes:
this- this is amazing
-
