Aquiristarlight



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    After the tuna melt meltdown, Shane meets Rose Landry, has several deeply inconvenient revelations, and decides to do the only sensible thing: win Ilya back with sincerity, logistics, and a frankly alarming amount of emotional effort.

    Ilya, meanwhile, mistakes every tender gesture for the kind prelude to an inevitable goodbye.

    Or: Shane is living in a romcom. Ilya is living in a Russian tragedy.

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    23 May 2026

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    “I’m sorry I’m not him,” Shane says, looking away.

    “Who?”

    “Future me. Whoever you fell in love with.” What’s unsaid hangs in the air: whoever fell in love with you. Because this Shane – 2010 Shane – doesn’t love him. Is amused by their daily lessons, comforted by his presence, even grateful. But love?

    “That’s the thing, Shane,” Ilya says. His eyes are shining. “You are, right now, exactly who I fell in love with.”

    In 2031, Shane wakes up in the hospital certain that it's 2010. Ilya is there to remind him of the two decades he's missed and the life they've built along the way.

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    21 May 2026

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    Shane really isn't looking for a relationship, which is why having Ilya around is nice. No strings attached, only great sex. It's a win all around.

    The only problem is that Ilya is way, way too nice to Shane's stupid cat.

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    21 May 2026

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    Shane Hollander was supposed to go pro.

    Instead, he got an injury that ended his career before it even started and a life that’s been quietly built around not thinking too hard about it.

    Ilya Rozanov did go pro.

    Which makes it particularly unfortunate that they’ve just woken up in each other’s bodies hours before a game.

    Even worse, Shane is now expected to play in front of thousands of people using a body he's only ever seen on phone screens or TVs, all while trying to stave off an impending mental breakdown and come to terms with a version of Ilya Rozanov that's much different than his public persona.

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    20 May 2026

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    “Where are you going?”

    “To the arena, Hollander. We are playing a game in three hours.”

    “That’s tomorrow, Rozanov,” Hollander says, smirking like Ilya might be fucking with him and he wants to make sure he’s in on the joke. He looks behind and around him. “Um, can I come inside?”

    “Hollander, we have game today. You were here yesterday.”

    Hollander is striding toward his kitchen, looking over his shoulder at Ilya like he’s getting tired of the joke. “Very funny. I was in Montreal yesterday, Rozanov.”

    “Hollander.” Ilya goes to stand in front of him. Hollander’s eyes flicker up and down his body the way that Ilya usually craves, but is rather unwelcome right now. “Today is Thursday. Game is today. Yesterday, you came to my house. We ate tuna melts, watched Buffalo game. Then, you left.”

    “Rozanov, it’s Wednesday morning. And I’ve never been to your house before.”

    “Hollander…”

    “Look at your phone if you don’t believe me.”

    Ilya snorts like a bull and pulls his phone out of his pocket, swipes down on the screen to look at the date.

    Wednesday, November 9th.


    Or: Ilya Rozanov in Groundhog Day!

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    20 May 2026