Work Text:
It starts, as most things do, innocuously.
[bjornruffian] Hey! I'm gonna be in your area soon!!
[bjornruffian] You live near that robot museum, right? I mean, I assume you do, because you're always sending references from there.
[bjornruffian] Well, it turns out I'm getting dragged there for a family vacation in a couple weeks, so we should totally meet up, if you're comfortable and stuff! We could even meet at the museum so it's public, if that works for you!!
If Computron could feel emotions, he might have felt stressed by this series of messages. As it is, he takes 4.6 seconds longer staring at the screen than he usually does. He types, styluses-in-claws, at the same ponderous speed he normally does.
[RobotFan] I do live in the area
[RobotFan] I would be amenable to your visit
[bjornruffian] HURRAH!!! Oh my god we're gonna have so much fun together dude
[RobotFan] However
[bjornruffian] Oh no
[RobotFan] I would ask you not to judge me on my appearance, as I believe someone such as you may find it unnerving
[bjornruffian] I don't care what you look like, I'm just excited that I might finally get to meet you!!! Don't worry at all it's gonna be awesome
[RobotFan] Acknowledged
[RobotFan] Inform me of your plans and when you will be present and I will meet with you
[bjornruffian] :DDDDDD
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Theoretically, Computron is not supposed to leave his area of the museum. Technically speaking, however, he has never been ordered not to. As the date of bjornruffian's visit approaches, Computron considers logistics.
He looks at the maps of the museum, considers the relative merits of the various displays and interactive stations, their relevance to HyperWarp and their objective popularity.
He sees the museum visitors come through, sticky-faced children finishing ice cream from the foodcourt, parents holding pamphlets for nearby campsites, wearing hats from any of a half dozen far-flung themeparks- all places Computron has never been.
One night he walks right out of his exhibit and sneaks into the empty food court. It is larger than he imagined, lit only by a handful of emergency lights. Tables and chairs cover the entire room, and Computron tries and fails to simulate what it would be like well-lit and full of people.
He attempts to sit down, discovering too late that he is the wrong shape to fit, instead knocking the chair over with a clatter. When the night watchman comes to investigate, Computron is already back in his room, fans whirring, the door hissing closed behind him.
Later, as he waits for his cue in the Robotics Then and Now performance, he finds himself staring at the crowd, imagining that they might be his friend, imagining what they might think of him. He finds he cannot imagine that far, finds himself with only something quite like static.
When he reaches his claw forward to take the microphone, it barely seems part of him.
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[bjornruffian] Only two more days!!! Once we get done with all this dumb camping I'm gonna finally get to meet you! :DDD
[RobotFan] Actually
[bjornruffian] Oh no
[RobotFan] I cannot meet with you
[bjornruffian] Oh nooo are you OKAY??? DD:
[bjornruffian] Are you sick?? Can I help at all?
[RobotFan] I am
[RobotFan] Not able to come out and see you right now
[bjornruffian] Oh no I'm so sorry, that sucks so bad :(((
[RobotFan] As I am unable to meet with you, I would like to offer you a guide to the museum so that you may have the optimal experience
[bjornruffian] You didn't have to, it's totally okay that something came up!!
[bjornruffian] I can visit the museum on my own, I'm sure it'll be really cool anyways, and I can ALWAYS talk about it with you later
[RobotFan] I
[RobotFan] Apologize for the inconvenience
[RobotFan] But I can give you this much at least
—File Transfer of "bjornruffian-museum-guide.txt" from "RobotFan" started.
—File Transfer of "bjornruffian-museum-guide.txt" from "RobotFan" finished.
[bjornruffian] Thanks :)
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Likely, bjornruffian is somewhere in the same building with Computron. Likely, they will view today's Robotics Then and Now performance, as do 90% of museum visitors present at the time of the show.
For the first time since the performances began, Computron considers refusing to take part. He does not execute this impulse, however strong it might be. He recognizes his limited appeal, his tenuous position within the funding of the museum, the indifference the museum director feels towards him.
He does not wish to be made obsolete, and so he walks onto stage and takes his place at the microphone. The lights feel brighter than they ever have before, though when he measures them, they are within the same range of intensity they have been for the past 7.3 months since the museum last replaced the bulbs.
The first two questions are utterly normal, the sort of generic query he's answered some 12,327 times before. The third one however-
The asker is hard to see, at the back of the small auditorium, clutching the mike with what appears to be nervousness.
"Hi," they say. "Hi Computron. I was wondering- do you have any friends?"
Computron stands utterly still. The audience chuckles.
"-Because mine was supposed to meet with me today," the person says, all in a rush, "but he couldn't make it, and I guess, you must be alone in this museum a lot, right? Because like, I brought some gifts for him, but now I'll never get them to him, and I know he likes you a lot even if he never talks about you so I think It'd be okay if I gave them to you? If you want them?"
The audience is murmuring now, and the announcer somehow looks both bored and nervous, ready to end this interaction at any time. Computron resets his vocalizer in a hiss of static, pulling together a response.
He had not noticed that he never mentioned himself, when sharing information about the museum. He would have to monitor that.
[I have a friend,] Computron vocalizes, and the audience shifts, taken aback. [And it would be suboptimal if my communications to them did not transmit. Therefore I can conceptualize your distress, and will meet with you after the show, if that is acceptable.]
In the glare of the lights, he can just make out the sillouhette smiling. "Thank you so much, I'll bring them to you then!" they say, and pass the microphone back to the announcer who ends the questions there.
------
Computron has never met visitors after the show, but it is not as hard as he might have thought. He simply walks down the stairs the announcer uses, and then he is standing in front of the stage as most of the audience files out the doors at the auditorium's back.
And then, the human that is likely bjornruffian is there. They have a face, two arms, and two legs. They wear clothes, and are holding a bag, and when they smile at him and say "Computron?" as though he could possibly be anyone else, Computron suddenly regrets backing out of their planned meeting.
[That is me,] he says, instead of anything else.
"I know," bjornruffian says, with actual human laughter, and Computron finds himself suddenly understanding how he might have been supposed to write Ellison, in all those fics where his readers had been correcting him on his inaccuracies. "I know, but I just, hello, I'm so glad to meet you."
[If I could have emotions,] Computron says, [I would be glad to meet you as well.]
"You know," bjornruffian says, only, now they look vaguely sad. "My friend? The one I was supposed to meet? They really must be a big fan of yours, because they say things like that all the time."
[That is interesting to hear,] Computron says. [Perhaps you will be able to meet with them at some other time.]
"No," bjornruffian says, "Probably not. Not for a long time, at least. I don't live nearby at all."
[Perhaps they will still be here. I am sure you are as important to them as they are to you. I'm sure they would regret not meeting you.]
Bjornruffian shrugs. "I hope so. We'll see." And then the smile is back. "In the mean time, do you wanna have some cool stuff? I dunno if robots like anime, but it's an anime kinda based on you, so I hope you like it. It's got a really cool story actually..."
The interaction lasts about ten minutes in total. Bjornruffian explains the things in the bag (a small anime figure of Cyro, some japanese snacks- "I know you can't eat these, sorry, but at least they look cool!"-, some HyperWarp-themed post-it notes, and a small stack of robot stickers), and then thanks Computron for his time. As bjornruffian turns away, Computron catches a glimpse of their face.
If Computron could have emotions, he would be struck by the wistfulness he sees there.
As it is, he carries the bag back to his room. He places the figure of Cyro next to his computer. He considers sharing the snacks with the museum staff, but places them on the shelf. They DO look cool, and will stay edible for up to 7 months longer, according to the packaging. He can share then sometime before then. The post-it notes go on his desk and the stickers-
As he clumsily looks through the pages of stickers, a half-crumpled piece of folded paper slides out of the stack and onto the floor.
Computron retrieves it, folds it open delicately.
RobotFan, it starts
Hi!! I know I'm right here but I wanted to write a note anyways, haha, we've always done text stuff so not having at least a little feels WEIRD.
I'm so excited to get to see you and I hope you like these things! I got them just for you! You're-
and then they'd scribbled out 'one of', but left 'my best friend', with a scribbled out 's' at the end, and then crossed through the whole thing and written 'FUCK DOES HE NOT LIKE EMOTIONS IS THAT TOO MUCH OH GOD ABORT MISSION TAKE 5 IS GO' and then scribbled over the whole thing. The pen has ripped the paper, right near the bottom.
Computron gets the impression that the letter was not supposed to be included in the bag at all.
------
[RobotFan] Did you enjoy the museum?
[bjornruffian] I did!!!! It was so cool!! I see why you like robots so much if you get to visit it all the time!!
[bjornruffian] Your guide was super helpful, THANKS!!!
[bjornruffian] I definitely liked the early robotics stuff the best, they were definitely working from a lot of this stuff for HyperWarp!
[RobotFan] That is good to hear
[bjornruffian] Also the robot that lives there is super cool, I dunno why you don't talk about him but you definitely should!!! I wonder if he likes HyperWarp haha xDDD
[RobotFan] I would be glad if you could visit again
[RobotFan] You are my friend, and I would like introduce myself to you, next time
[bjornruffian] !!!!! Me too!!
[bjornruffian] You're a really important friend to me, so let's try to meet in person someday :)))
[RobotFan] :)
[bjornruffian] :OOO An emoticon!!! I'm HONORED!!
[RobotFan] Just for you
[bjornruffian] :)))))))