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The moment he met Rick, Negan fell in love.
Alright, so maybe that sentence was a bit of an overstatement, but it wasn’t too off the mark. So maybe he didn’t fall in love with him - that level was reached in the second date - and maybe it wasn’t the moment he met him - what he felt the moment he saw him was lust; it was about five minutes into the conversation for him to realize that he liked the guy a whole damn lot, too. He was easy to talk to, had something magnetic drawing Negan towards him, and the way he brushed off all the bullshit that came out of Negan’s mouth and bantered back at him in a much more subtle way was, for some reason, entertaining rather than irritating. It didn’t take long for Negan to decide he wanted to see more of Rick; the more, the better.
He met him in a party. Dwight was a mutual friend, it seemed. Negan obviously didn’t know this, because if he had known that someone like Dwight was friends with a god like Rick, oh boy, would he have been so much nicer to him, and insisted on meeting his other friends.
He seemed much more into Rick than Rick was into him. Fortunately, Negan was shameless enough that it didn’t bother him in the least - soon enough Rick would be all over him, he was sure. Besides, if he wasn’t mistaken, the glint in Rick’s eyes meant that he was enjoying Negan’s banter much more than he wanted to let on. In any case, the fact remained that before the end of the night, Negan had managed to pester Rick into giving him his number.
“If you don’t give it to me, then I’ll just get it out of Dwight one way or the other” Negan had claimed, half-sung and half-whispered, and probably much less seductive than he had intended it to, if the way Rick snorted was any indication. Negan blamed the alcohol.
Rick had hummed, amusement clear in his tone as he crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall. “You’re pretty insistent, aren’t you? Do you even know when you’re being too much?”
“Nope” Negan had happily replied, popping the ‘p’. He leaned into Rick’s space, grinning ferally at him. “I set my sights on my dreams and I follow them to the ends of the Earth. And right now, handsome, my dream is having a date with you. An innocent, harmless date. Worst that can happen is that it doesn’t work out and you get a free fancy dinner out of me. Not that it’ll end in that, of course. I’m pretty damn sure that we’re made for one another, baby.”
Negan grinned a goofy, cocky grin, that only grew when he saw how the corners of Rick’s lips were struggling not to turn upwards and let out a laugh.
“You seem a little too confident in that, for someone who’s been speaking to me for an hour.”
“An hour and forty minutes, mind you” Negan cooed back, winking at him. “Soon it’ll be our two hours anniversary. Hey, see? We’re already talking anniversaries. We are meant to be a thing. Strong and steady, growing and growing with time like a mountain, or maybe brief but so very bright and beautiful, like a shooting star, but we are meant to be.” That did elicit a laugh out of Rick, and Negan’s grin went to the fullest, proud and self-satisfied. The next moment, though, he sobered up a bit and gave Rick a more serious, soothed expression, although still relaxed and chill. “But I do mean it, Rick. I like you. I like talking to you, and I think you’re pretty attractive, too. And it’s so easy to be with you. I really think this could go somewhere, if you give me a chance. I think we could work out just fine.”
A skeptic glint came to Rick’s face, momentarily soured and cynical, but as soon as it was there it was gone, leaving Negan to wonder if it wasn’t the alcohol that made him see things. Rick crossed his arms, giving Negan a slow look, as if it was the first time he saw him.
“You speak pretty big, for someone who just met me.”
“Well, it’s not like I’m talking marriage, am I? All I’m saying is that I’m attracted to you, is all, and I want to give it a shot. We’re both adults, we don’t have to dance around the shit we want. And I’m not gonna be an asshole who tells you I just wanna be friends but secretly pin to see your ass. I’m being upfront about what I want. If it happens maybe it works out, maybe it doesn’t, maybe we find out we can be friends. Lots of shit can happen. Look, how about this? Give me your number but not for a date. Give it to me just ‘cause we could have fun chatting, and let everything else build up, if it does. Or if it feels better, let me give you my number, at least.”
“That’s not necessary” Rick mused after a moment of thought, and he flashed Negan a brief, shy grin before grabbing the man’s phone and typing on it. He gave it to Negan, waved at him, and went to meet some friend - Maggie, was it? He’d gotten introduced to her earlier, but didn’t quite catch her name; his eyes had already landed on Rick by then, and that was all he’d needed to forget everything else.
It didn’t matter shit. Negan had gotten his number, that mattered. He typed a message right away.
‘Hello there, beautiful’
‘Sending me a message when I’m 20 feet away? Classy.’
Negan had laughed as he typed another message, and then decided to go bug Dwight for a while. He thought he could give Rick some rest. For now.
‘Youre gonna learn I’m a classy af motherfucker, handsome. How do you feel about our date? Is tomorrow too desperate of me?’
-0-o-0-o-0-
First date was a week later - far too late for Negan’s taste, but he could make do, as long as he got to see those pretty blue eyes again. It was a walk in the park. Literally. Rick hadn’t wanted to make it anything romantic, so a restaurant dinner was off the table, much to Negan’s chagrin, but he guessed he could make his charm flow out every pore of his skin all the same. If the man wanted to get some fresh air and move his legs around for a while, well, then Negan could make wonders with that.
He guessed it did work, because when Rick first showed up, he seemed amused by Negan’s presence but not too convinced about liking it. He was always with his arms crossed or eyebrows raised or tight lips, as if he was silently counting for Negan to do or say something that crossed the line from ‘jerkishly funny’ to ‘stay away from this piece of scum’. But bum! Bim! Bam! Negan moved his fingers like this and that, said the magic words, and the magic was done. By the end of the so-called date, Rick was positively charmed with him, the glint on his eyes constant and scowl replaced with a wide grin. Yeah, Negan was good.
As mentioned before, it was their second date that made Negan fall for Rick.
They’d gone to a bar. A step forward from the walk-in-the-park, contact-with-nature hippie deal, but it wasn’t date night at candlelight yet. Still, it was good. Negan was nursing a beer, getting some laughs out of Rick and getting some out of himself as well, and all was fine and dandy in the world as far as he was concerned. Life was sweet, and it was granting him quite a few breathtaking smiles from the man next to him.
Of course, the universe had at some point dictated that if something was going good for Negan, he’d find a way to fuck it up sooner or later. It seemed to hit pretty damn early this time.
He got into a fight. He didn’t even remember what it was about by the time things got heated, he just knew that he was pissed at the guy. It probably was something petty. It probably was his fault. But like hell was he going to let a detail like that stop him from defending his honor from that smelly sonofabitch.
He was doing good, and probably scaring the shit out of Rick - if the guy was still there and hadn’t run away as soon as the first punch flew, that was - up until his friend decided to call in company to help him beat Negan up. Two he could have handled, but three? Well, shit, that was making shit complicated for him.
And when Negan was pretty damn sure he was about to lose half of his teeth to a nice fist sandwich, Rick stepped in. The man was stronger than he looked like, Negan found out, and he knew some wicked moves, too. For the most part, Negan just watched in amazement as the guy swept the floor with these assholes, put some money on the table, and dragged Negan out of there before the cops could arrive. He didn’t seem to be the least bit nervous by the time they hit the street.
“Why the fuck didn’t you and your mortal-kombat ass jump in earlier? Might have saved me a handful bruises.”
“You got into there yourself, you were being an asshole, and you quite frankly deserved it.”
“You got a good point there. Why did you help me, then?”
“You needed it.”
“But why? You just said I deserved it and I’d gotten in there myself.”
Rick shrugged, as if he didn’t understand why he even needed to explain anything. “You’re with me, and I like you. If you’re not gonna take care of yourself, I will, and I’ll cross my fingers and hope you learn from it and come out a better guy. It’s what I do for the people I care about.”
In that moment, Negan learned some things about Rick. That he was loyal. That he was kind and generous, but he wasn’t blind. That he was the ‘good is harsh but because it’s gotta be’ kind of good. That he had decided Negan was someone worth caring about.
It was the moment he made the jump from ‘I like this guy’ to ‘I think I like this guy’. He had already been drawn to Rick, and now he had fallen for him. From then on, all he would do was fall further and further, and that was something he was surprisingly fucking cool with.
It was down and down the rabbit hole after that. The more he was with Rick, the more and more tangled up in him Negan was. He wanted more more more of Rick, and every time he got to be with the man he felt as blissed as if he had been thoroughly fucked. Their first kiss came at the end of their third date - fucking finally, a proper dinner he could treat Rick to - and Negan felt like he was floating all the way home afterwards, giggly and floaty and licking his lips that tingled oh so pleasant.
He didn’t give a shit when he learned that Rick had two kids from a previous relationship and that he was not the ‘see them a couple days a month’ kinda single dad. The man actively had them over very often, which meant that Negan had to see them very often, too, if he was pursuing anything steady with Rick. Kids would usually be a complete dealbreaker - Negan wasn’t a family man, not by any definition at all - for anything other than a one-night stand he never intended to see again. With these, however, Negan found himself happily playing with Judith and actively hoping to earn Carl’s approval, and feeling something swell in his chest every time he saw Rick’s face on their features.
He didn’t mind that Rick wanted to go slow, either. He didn’t mind that he only got some kisses here and there when he would usually be fucking eager to take Rick to bed. He didn’t mind that the most heated they got was heavy make out session in cars or in a movie, never touching under the waist. All he wanted was to get lost in the ocean of Rick’s eyes in any way he could.
Which didn’t mean he wasn’t excited as fuck the day he and Rick were finally going to do the deed, mind you.
“C’mon, baby boy, show me the goods” Negan slurred, words thick and heavy and drawled, shining eyes going over all of Rick’s form with a feverish desire. “I’ll be so fucking good to you, Rick, you can believe me. Gonna make you wonder how you could even live without my cock. Come over, baby, let me take care of you.”
Rick proceeded to shred off his jacket, eyes cast down. He didn’t do anything other than that, though, choosing instead to simply stand there, quiet. Rick was never quiet. He was silent, preferring not to say anything if he didn’t want to, but making his presence felt all the same. Now, though, he was quiet, as if he was afraid to even speak. Negan scowled and came up up to him, warmly rubbing his shoulders and tipping his chin up so he could lean in for a slow, gentle kiss.
“Don’t gotta be self-conscious, Rick. Not with me. You know that, right?”
There was a brief, bright fire in Rick’s eyes, bitter like that of the first time he and Negan met. However, he nodded and proceeded to step back to shred the rest of his clothes to the floor, still muttering no word.
The scars on his chest should have tipped Negan off, really, but it wasn’t until Rick’s pants fell to the floor that it clicked in why exactly Rick was so self-conscious and insecure about his body. He was a man without a dick, after all, and given the circumstances Negan understood how that could lead to some insecurity in certain things.
He wished he’d had reacted faster, because for a moment he was still and quiet, adapting the new information into his mind. He didn’t dislike it, not at all, but it was simply a possibility that hadn’t crossed his mind - shame on him, really, shame on him - and he needed a moment to settle in after his first moment of surprise. It looked like he’d lingered too long on his shock, though, because he saw Rick’s face of both hope and fear fade away into something colder, harder, and hurt as he started to, quietly, reach for his pants again.
Well, good luck that Negan had quick reflexes, when he needed to. Within a moment he was on Rick, holding his face between his hands and kissing him with all the fire he had, while his still hard-as-steel dick poked into the man’s stomach. He only stopped holding his face when he needed his arms to wrap around Rick and push him closer, closer, ever closer, making him be as pressed to Negan as he could be.
“You’re so fucking gorgeous, Rick” he whispered against his lips.
Negan didn’t know how many times he told Rick he loved him that night. Didn’t know how many times he kissed every single inch of Rick’s body that he could reach. Worshipped all of him, every single bit. Because as far as he was concerned, Rick’s body was perfect. It was perfect just like everything Rick was.
-0-o-0-o-0-
Negan hesitated for a moment at the door, but then he decided that hesitation had never been something made for him and he wasn’t gonna start doing that shit now, of all moments. Therefore, he simply used the key he had and let himself into Rick’s place, instead of knocking like most people would have. He had been given the key by the owner of the house, after all, and he was gonna put it to fucking good use.
He knew for a fact that Rick was home, and therefore wasn’t surprised when he saw the man come down the stairs, worried scowl on his face, which only marginally melted away when he saw it was Negan and not some intruder walking into his place. He made a half-hearted attempt at a smile, waved vaguely, and wandered back upstairs to his room. Negan hummed and followed after him.
Rick hadn’t been quite so talkative lately, nor nearly so open to Negan as he usually was. It’d been almost a year since he saw the man naked and there had been no setbacks on that regard, so he was pretty sure that Rick didn’t feel like his body was any problem, and while Negan was more than aware that the shit that left his mouth often was far too unfiltered, he hadn’t reached any conclusions when he inspected what he had told Rick lately. He’d almost think that Rick was losing his interest in him, but Negan was a good person reader; he could still see Rick’s love for him in his eyes, so he didn’t feel insecure in that regard.
He just needed to figure out what was wrong with Rick. Only then he could fix it.
It wasn’t that hard. When they got to his bedroom Rick simply threw himself face-first into the bed, the messed up covers telling Negan he’d been lying there up until the moment he got into the house. He rolled to the side, indicating Negan he was welcome to lie down beside him, and that got a small smile out of the man. If everything else failed, he was pretty sure some cuddling couldn’t harm the situation, at the very least.
He had to go to the bathroom first, though, and there he got his answer before he even had to ask Rick. There, on the trashcan, he saw the blood, and the engines in his brain just needed a moment to figure it out.
He sighed heavily as he came back into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. He reached his hand out to touch Rick’s and squeezed, concerned eyes going all over the man’s face.
“How long have you gone without them, baby?”
“Mmmmm?”
“Your t-shots, Rick. You’re on your period again. That shouldn’t be happening just because.”
Rick didn’t deny it, but he did emit a low, grumbly noise, almost as if he was ashamed. To illustrate his point he turned around, hiding his face from Negan, but the larger man just took that as an invitation to lie down behind him and wrap his arms around Rick’s form, tucking his chin over the man’s shoulder.
“Tell me. Please.”
Rick made a noise of complaint, but nonetheless he reached out to touch Negan’s hand, the one on his chest, and grasp on it tightly.
“It’s been almost three months now.”
“What the shit?”
Negan’s voice was momentarily a loud grunt, grip on Rick becoming harsh before he eased down. It was still firm, though, enough to make him turn around and make him face Negan’s concerned eyes, while his hand traced the edge of the man’s jaw.
“Rick, that’s so fucking- What happened? Why can’t you get them anymore?”
Rick’s face remained unchanged for a moment, then a faint smile lighted his face - the appreciation of Negan’s concern for him, he guessed - before it faded and Rick hid his face on Negan’s chest, while the other placed a hand on his nape to hold him close, fingers gently caressing and massagging.
“It’s the money. The kids have been needing more money lately, and neither Lori or I are making more than we were before. So… something had to lose priority. Lori made her sacrifice and I made mine.”
He said it with a shrug, as if it was nothing important, something that didn’t matter to him. It almost had Negan grunting, teeth gritted so hard against one another that his jaw hurt. But he wasn’t gonna do that. The last thing he needed was Rick thinking he was mad at him . So rather than losing his cool, he forced himself into calmness and held Rick’s face within his hands and made him look him in the eye, foreheads resting on one another. He spoke soft and low, a whisper for Rick only.
“Why didn’t you ask me for help, Rick? You damn well know I would have helped you. Fucking gladly.”
“But we don’t need help. The kids are doing alright, and that’s what matters. The rest are details.”
Negan very nearly lost his cool again at that, at the resigned, natural way in which Rick said it. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that Rick was so damn selfless and noble that he saw nothing wrong if his own needs weren’t met, as long as everyone else’s were. Negan loved that about Rick, he really did, but sometimes he had to suppress the urge to scream into Rick’s ear to just think of himself for once.
He sighed and leaned in, giving Rick one slow kiss.
“You’re in pain, aren’t you?” Rick didn’t bother denying it, he just nodded and hummed softly. “And the hormones, they fucking you up pretty good, huh? That’s why you’ve been down lately.” Again, he got the same answer, so he nodded and hummed himself. “It’s settled then; I’m gonna get you these little fuckers.”
Immediately Rick went apart from him - not outside of the reach of Negan’s arms, he wouldn’t allow that, but enough to look him in the eye, with those surprised, already-arguing blue eyes. “But-”
“No but and no butt wriggling is gonna change my mind. You’re just gonna have to listen to me on this one, Ricky boy. If you can’t get the testosterone then I’m gonna get it for you myself.”
“But I don’t want you having to waste money on me” Rick mused, weak and frustrated. Negan scowled at him, calm but hard.
“Rick, don’t you ever say that. Don’t you fucking ever say anything spent on you is wasting, you hear me? You’re worth every single cent I’ve made in my life and so much more, and I’d be fucking glad to give it all for you. Look, I’m pretty damn good off, alright? I could be your damn sugar daddy if you’d allow me, but on this one I’m gonna have to insist. Please. It’s a selfish move on my part, really. Can’t be too happy when the man I love is being miserable. I’m spending on my own happiness. So are you gonna let me get you these damn shots?”
Rick seemed like he wanted to argue, but apparently his mood wasn’t strong enough for that. Still, just in case, Negan interrupted whatever he was going to say by closing his lips over Rick’s and dragging him in by the nape, ever so closer. That seemed to be the moment the chaos that was Rick’s hormones chose to kick in, it’d seem, because as he gripped Negan’s arms, Rick let out a soft sob. Negan held him close, warm and gentle, and hushed him until he was soothed.
“I love you, Negan” he whispered, face neatly and comfortable tucked into the man’s neck. “I don’t deserve you.”
Negan snorted and leaned to press a kiss on the man’s hair, squeezing him lovingly. “And that, sir, is where you’re fucking wrong. You deserve every single damn good thing in this world.”
“You’re gonna end up making me believe it, if you keep going on like that” Rick mused with a weak chuckle. Even if he couldn’t be seen, Negan raised an eyebrow.
“You say that as if it was a bad thing.”
Rick hummed and pressed a kiss to Negan’s neck, making him shiver in the best way. He snuggled closer and made a sound that could only be defined as a purr. “Yeah, I guess it’s not.”