Archive of Our Own ^beta

              Bath time, as it turns out, was not fun time.

              Bath time was more like dumb time.

              At least that was how Shiro suspected Keith felt, and how he was beginning to feel about Bath time. When Keith had first come home with Shiro, he hadn’t minded getting a bath too much. Sure he was shocked and showed some discomfort during early baths, but Shiro suspected that was because Keith had never experienced anything like it before. After all, he’d looked a bit dirty at the orphanage in Shiro’s opinion.

              As the months went on and Keith’s baths changed from a seat in the sink to a seat in the tub to a small tub, Keith’s frustrations with Bath time only grew. They continued to get worse and worse until Keith was deeply against the idea of Bath time and quite angry about the whole ordeal. More than once, Shiro had to try and wrestle his son into the small tub and listen to his sobs the whole duration of Bath time.

              In the beginning, Shiro had been deeply afraid that he was hurting Keith and often didn’t try to give Keith a bath too often. However, after several visits to doctors and talking with his parents, it was determined that no, Keith wasn’t hurt, he just hated baths.

              He despised them.

              Shiro wasn’t about to let his son become stinky and uncared for like he suspected Keith was before coming to the orphanage in Korea. No matter how much Keith hated baths, Shiro had a duty as a father to keep his son clean and healthy. Even if that meant suffering under Keith’s pitiful puppy dog eyes or shrilling shrieks of anger. He would endure it all for the love a father had for his son.

              Unfortunately, as Shiro was evolving to try and get Keith to see the good in bath time, Keith was also evolving in his ways of escaping bath time. He was becoming more cunning with his escapes. It was getting harder and harder to persuade the two-year-old.

              He’d taken to hiding when he realized it was getting closer to bath time. Recently, every day about an hour before bath time, Keith would suddenly clean up all of his toys and toddle somewhere around the house. At first, Shiro chalked it up to wanting to explore, since he had only recently gotten the hang of walking a few months back. However, after a week of spending two hours trying to find Keith in time for Bath time (one day was spent with Shiro hysterically crying that he lost his baby) every time, Shiro suspected that Keith was doing this on purpose.

              Keith was learning.

              Shiro paused, unsure of whether he should be extremely proud that his baby was understanding routines and time, or unnerved that Keith had learned to hide when it came to taking a bath. In the end, Shiro clapped in pride before scowling as he went in search of his son.

              As the weeks went on, Shiro slowly caught on to Keith’s routine and began to ‘re-babyproof’ the house every time he saw Keith beginning to clean up. Shiro almost laughed out loud at the dismayed look on Keith’s face when he realized he could no longer get downstairs to hide, and that other rooms were also blocked off. He looked absolutely scandalized at his father for barricading him in the upper level of the house.

              This worked in Shiro’s favor of getting to Bath time quicker than before but it didn’t make it any easier. Once Keith was caught, he would fuss and kick and cry loudly, almost making Shiro falter in his plans. No Takashi, you must be strong. Don’t look into his eyes.

              It was a week later that Keith began adapting.

              First, he started off by always having a snack on him just before Bath time. Keith and Shiro were both aware of the rule that food was not allowed in the bathroom or anywhere but the kitchen, a bedroom (if allowed) or the living room. Shiro usually lets Keith have a snack in his bedroom where he could keep an eye on him.

              So, when Shiro called Keith in for a bath, Keith simply presented his large pile of goldfish to Shiro as if to say, “I can’t right now. I’m eating, see?” When Shiro tried to put the snack away, Keith became awfully huffy and refused to enter the bathroom and Shiro realized he had been played.

              His eyes narrowed at his son innocently eating his goldfish, one at a time, on his bedroom floor. “Well played Keith Shirogane. Well played. You and I both know that food isn’t allowed in the bathroom.” He clapped slowly and waited an extra two hours for Keith to finish all of his snacks.

              This went on for another week before Shiro began to move snack time up in the day. Keith still wasn’t entirely used to time or clocks so when Shiro gave him his snack two hours early, he didn’t qualm. There was still light outside, the mail had already come and his dad wasn’t doing paperwork.

              When Keith finished his snack finally, Shiro still didn’t come for his bath. In fact, Shiro didn’t start Keith’s bath for another half an hour and by then, Keith was all out of plans and snacks. His scowl was mighty impressive during the entirety of Bath time.

              Bath times came easier after that but they still weren’t any more enjoyable than before. Shiro thought Keith was darn adorable when his nose scrunched up in confusion every time that Bath time came after his snack was already finished. He was smart (something Shiro was proud of) but he was still a two-year-old.

              It seemed that Keith was determined not to be defeated and neither would Shiro. Thus began a game of cat and mouse or father and son. One trying to best the other in either avoiding Bath time or ensuring Bath time. A tale of two souls determined to outwit the other and prevent success from the enemy.

              Such was a late Monday night, where Keith was leading victory against his father. He had managed to postpone Bath time by an entire four hours by hiding, sneaking and using his cuteness like a skillful and cunning master. Shiro was scrambling like a chicken with its head cut off in order to keep up with his son. He couldn’t believe that Keith had managed to prevent Bath time for so long. More than once Shiro considered giving up and reattempting tomorrow. But that’s exactly what he wants! He will win and soon there will never be a Bath time if he gets his way!

              “Keith, sweetheart, this has gone on long enough,” Shiro muttered with hands on his hips. His hair was a mess and his clothes were rumbled from crawling on the floor to reach Keith in clever hiding spots. His fingers had brushed against Keith’s shirt just twenty minutes before and that was when Keith had taken the shirt off. “You need a bath. You stink.” Shiro’s nose crinkled when he recalled that it had been a few days since his last bath.

              Of course, Keith didn’t answer, and he didn’t move from wherever he was hiding.

              “Honey, it’s fine. Bath time doesn’t have to be bad! Daddy takes baths all the time and he’s fine!” Shiro tried persuading. Still, Keith didn’t move and Shiro was once again at a loss. How, on Earth, does a two-year-old escape an ex-special operations unit commander’s sights?

              The sound of a doorbell left Shiro frowning. With a sigh, he went down the stairs, making sure to shut the bathroom door so Keith couldn’t get in by himself. Shiro wanted Keith to have a bath but not by himself. After heading downstairs, Shiro opened the front door and was shocked to see his parents smiling at him. Both greeted him with a kiss from his mother and hug from his father before they came into Shiro’s house.

              “Mom? Dad?” Shiro gaped. “What are you guys doing here?”

              “Oh, we’re here to help!” Shiro’s mother beamed as she set her bag down. “You told us how much trouble Keith has been lately with Bath time and how it’s only gotten worse.”

              “Plus you did send us an SMS.” Thace shrugged with a grin.

              “SMS?”

              “Ah, ‘Save My Sanity.’ It was a text to your mother’s phone.”

              “Oh,” Shiro rubbed his chin. “I thought I was imagining that. I didn’t know I had actually sent it to you.”

              “Alright dear, let us help you. I remember that you and your brother certainly weren’t fond of baths either growing up. So I know all of the tricks.” Shiro’s mother began rolling up her sleeves while Thace nodded. “Alright, where is my precious grandchild?”

              Shiro hesitantly rubbed the back of his neck. “Er, I’m not sure.”

              At this, both of his parents stared at Shiro in disbelief. Shiro couldn’t help but curl in on himself defensively.

              “He’s fast and small and knows all of the best hiding spots. I know he’s upstairs because I have it blocked off with a gate.” Shiro explained. His mother was already heading up the stairs with Shiro and his father trailing behind like lost puppies.

              “Well then, we must have a plan and act fast.” Shiro’s mother continued, opening the gate quietly. “I’m going to keep the bathroom secured. You and your father need to corral Keith my way and from there I’ll get him in the tub.”

              “Are you sure this is going to work?” Shiro couldn’t help but ask. He nearly flinched at the scalding look his mother sent him. As if to say, do you doubt me, boy?

              “Yes,” His mother replied. “Surely, you and your father can handle getting a two-year-old to me.”

x.V.x

              Shiro and Thace did eventually get Keith to the bathroom.

              However, that did not mean it had been easy.

              “Honestly, I have no idea how you managed to get soil in your hair and all over your face, Thace Shirogane.” Shiro’s mother scolded as she lathered in more shampoo into the head of luscious hair in front of her. The person sighed heavily, whining when she tugged on his hair. She heard a snicker coming from the person to the left and she sent them a dark glare.

              “And you, Takashi,” Shiro blinked innocently up at his mother. “How you managed to get Tide soap and softener all over you still remains a mystery.” Shiro shrunk back at the scolding when a small rubber duck was presented towards him.

              He smiled softly, looking down at Keith who looked like a teeny drowned kitten (Shiro and his father looked more like drowned cows) with his wet hair, pouty lips, and big eyes.

              “Thank you, baby,” Shiro accepted the rubber duck happily. Carefully he put his hands over Keith’s eyes and poured water over Keith’s hair to rinse out the soap. Just as he was finished, he sputtered when a cup of water was dumped over his head. Shiro yelped, quickly covering his own eyes. “Dad! You’re supposed to warn me!”

              “Sorry,” Thace grumbled, not sounding apologetic at all.

              “Honestly Thace, it’s your own fault you need a bath just like Keith. Really, how hard is it to get a two-year-old in the bath?” Shiro’s mother scolded, pulling Thace’s head back by his hair so that she could also rinse his hair out.

              The sight was comical.

              All three of her boys were cramped in the rather large bathtub. Shiro and Thace both had on swimsuits while Keith was surrounded by bubbles. Shiro’s mother was helping to clean off the dirt and dead plant off of Thace while Thace was cleaning the soap off Shiro, and Shiro was giving Keith his bath. All three men and boys were disgruntled and equally annoyed at having to take a bath like this, but Thace and Shiro were more afraid of Shiro’s mother’s wrath. Keith was somewhat content to take a bath as long as his dad and grandpa were also forced to.

              Keith slapped at the water in annoyance and Shiro couldn’t help but nod.

              “Yeah, you said it. I see why baths suck so much sweetheart.”

              “Takashi!”