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Jimin was slightly ashamed to say that when he met Yoongi, he had immediately assumed the older male’s gender. Because whilst it was kind of hypocritical to do so, Jimin had always made up for his lack of sense of smell by stereotypes. Again, kind of hypocritical as he himself was the least stereotypical alpha one could think of, but the stereotypes (usually) proved correct.
Like Seokjin and Hoseok’s need to provide and take care of the others, which manifested itself differently in either person, but was ultimately a giant sign across their foreheads that screamed omega. Or how territorial Namjoon and Jungkook could get over any little thing, not to mention their protectiveness over people they cared for; and how Taehyung’s behaviour was blissfully free of weird biological drives. Even Jimin himself, whilst not the most obvious, was victim to his own biology at times, although much less aggressively than his fellow alpha friends.
He met Yoongi at the weekly barbecue that Seokjin and Namjoon held at their residence, an event that Hoseok had been trying to drag the other man to for weeks. Jimin’s first thought upon seeing Yoongi was pretty , and it was true. The man had parted blonde hair and sharp, cat like eyes, with soft pouty lips that held a small piercing.
His second thought was that this must be the new producer Hoseok had been working with, because he seemed exactly like the description. About the same height as Jimin (read: short) with a slim figure and leather jacket, his permanent scowl the cherry on top.
And when Yoongi growled -actually, legitimately growled - at Hoseok when the younger man tried to take away his coffee cup, Jimin had his third thought. Alpha . He was only a bit disappointed, because whilst couplings of the same gender were still rare, Jimin hadn’t felt this attracted to someone in a while, and he wasn’t about to let old ideals stop him from possibly pursuing the other man.
It wasn’t until much later in the evening when pretty much everyone was at least a little buzzed that Jimin got the chance to speak to Yoongi one on one. The other alpha hadn’t seemed like he was too fond of small talk, and Jimin eventually trailed off into silence for fear that he was annoying the older male but then Yoongi had pinched his side and glared at him, demanding that he continue with the story. “You never told me why they actually fired Taehyung-ssi,” he grumbled, letting Jimin know that he was actually listening to him, and Jimin felt a soft warmth blossom in his chest as he beamed at the older male.
He knew he was doomed later that night when Yoongi had sent him a small smile and a soft request to call him hyung.
It was terrifying. Mainly because he’d never liked someone that much after having known them for so little, and his crush only got worse the more time they spent together. Yoongi could seem cold and he was admittedly crude at times, but the older male was also remarkably thoughtful and if Hoseok’s teasing was anything to go by, he doted on Jimin. Not that Jimin himself could pick up much difference between how Yoongi treated him versus others.
Jimin spent months trying to work up the nerve to ask his hyung out. Even as they got closer and closer, to the point where Yoongi was one of Jimin’s best friends, Jimin constantly worried over how he would do it, and what Yoongi would say. Rejection was a very real possibility that he was, admittedly, terrified of, but what scared him more was that it might ruin their friendship.
But eventually Taehyung talked him into it.
They were at their usual hangout spot, a little cafe that they had found they both frequented when Jimin finally worked up the nerve to do it. It had great food and even better coffee, and they met there whenever they were free and bored.
“So hyung, I’ve been wondering if maybe you would want to go out for dinner s-sometime?” Jimin stuttered slightly, nerves eating at his insides. “Not like we usually do. L-like a da-”
“No,” Yoongi cut him off breezily, the soft expression he was sporting just seconds before melting away, his eyes steely. Jimin tried his best not to flinch at the sudden change of tone, willing his face not to flush from embarrassment.
“Oh.” He almost winced at how deflated he sounded, trying as hard as he could to will back the tears that were threatening to form in his eyes. The rejection was already bad enough, he didn’t need to look anymore pathetic.
“Yeah, oh .” Yoongi concurred spitefuly as he gathered his coat and got up to leave. “I can’t believe you-” he cut himself off, shaking his head angrily. Jimin curled into himself ever so slightly, eyes getting misty despite his best efforts.
“I’m sorry hyung.”
“Don’t. Just- delete my number. And don’t call me hyung ever again.” And then Yoongi was gone, the diner’s little chime ringing in his wake as the dam burst and Jimin began sobbing quietly. He waved away the waitress that came to check on him with watery lies of I’m fine , before leaving to cry in his car.
The next few weeks were, simply put, hell. Jimin hadn’t realized how much he’d come to rely on Yoongi’s presence until it was gone from his life. No more middle of the night texts about the song Yoongi was working on to start his morning, no more random coffee runs, no more soft smiles reserved just for him. And it hurt, a lot. He tried not to think about it, because it was a dangerous train of thought.
Sure, he had liked Yoongi a lot and the rejection itself burned, but what really ate at him was how Yoongi had said no. How disgusted the older male had looked, the disbelieving fury that was etched onto his features as he glared Jimin down. And even now, almost a month later, just thinking about that was enough to make Jimin’s eyes glassy.
So he didn’t. Think about it, that is. Taehyung had comforted him when it first happened, with threats of castrating Yoongi that Jimin had waved away as he sobbed on the couch. And that had been it. Jimin had expelled his tears and his thoughts about Yoongi and struggled to get back to the routine he had before the older male.
He didn’t try to contact Yoongi, delete my number still ringing through his head, and of course Yoongi didn’t try to contact him. He saw the other alpha at their cafe once, and fled to the bathroom to avoid him. And that was it; until they ran into each other at, coincidentally, Namjoon and Jin’s barbecue. Turns out Hoseok had invited Yoongi once more, but he hadn’t told Jimin since the alpha had said he couldn’t make it, a statement that turned out to be false.
Thankfully, his friends didn’t allow the atmosphere to turn awkward, Jungkook and Hoseok cracking jokes at every opportunity and easing the palpable tension in the air. Jimin hadn’t planned on talking to Yoongi, but when they were left alone -probably Hoseok’s doing- he couldn’t help but ask.
“How have you been?” His voice was steady, thankfully. Yoongi didn’t show any signs of hearing him staring at the wall as he gripped his bottle of beer tighter, and Jimin swallowed down the uncomfortable tightness in his chest. “I uh- I’ve been wondering why, you know.” Still no reaction. “Is it because I’m an alpha?” Yoongi finally turned to face him.
“ Is it because I’m an alpha , of fucking course it’s because of that! What? Did you think I was dumb? Did you think you were the first person to do this whole thing? You know, I can’t believe I actually thought for a second you were different than the other alphas. Did you bet on me too? Huh? Or did you just want to see if you could get into the stuck up omega’s pants?” The stream of words broke through Yoongi, rushing over Jimin with unhindered fury, but he could only focus on one part.
“Stuck up what ?” Jimin couldn’t help the question that slipped out, shock seeping into his body. “Hyung, you’re not an alpha?” He immediately clamped a hand over his mouth, recoiling from the glare that Yoongi sent him at Jimin’s familiar way of addressing him.
“Of fucking course I’m not an alpha. Do you not have a nose?”
“I don’t have a sense of smell.” Jimin blurted out, trying not to shy away from Yoongi’s intense gaze, which had turned from fury to unreadable.
“You don’t have a sense of smell.” Yoongi repeated, slowly, as if he were trying to process the words. Jimin nodded, biting at his lower lip and resisting the urge to look away. “You thought I was an alpha? Seriously?” It took Jimin a second to realize that Yoongi was waiting for a response.
“Yes? I mean, Hobi hyung never said anything, and we’ve never really talked about you much because he always made fun of me for… uh… you know. For l-liking y-you and a-all that…” Jimin trailed off, breathing deeply as he willed the stinging sensation in his eyes to go away. “A-and um- I-I know that people get a bit offended at being asked their gender, so I stopped doing that a long time ago and usually just… guessed.”
“And you guessed I was a fucking alpha ? What the hell gave you that idea?” Great; Yoongi was glaring at him again.
“You’re very assertive hyung, and you have a naturally commanding presence. You just struck me as one.” Yoongi snorted.
“Because I don’t take shit? Seriously? What century are you living in that you’re thinking my gender dictates my behaviour?”
“I don’t- I do NOT think that. I’m sorry if behaviour is the only thing I have to go on, ok? I didn’t ask to be born like this, it’s not like I wanted to be defective. But I am. And I’ve had to learn to live with it, had to adapt, and I’m really sorry if that offends you. I’m sorry that I liked you for who you were and not for being an omega, is that what you wanted to hear?” Something in the back of Jimin’s head was telling him to stop, that Yoongi looked a little like he had been slapped, but all the sadness and frustration that had been building up in him for the past month demanded to be let out. “I’m sorry that I ruined our friendship by having emotions, by being the way I am, by living my life as I always have. Because not all of us have the luxury of being normal.” He realized belatedly that his alpha voice had poked its head out ever so slightly, his anger carrying a commanding tone that he had never been fond of hearing.
And it seemed Yoongi wasn’t too keen on it either, taking a step back from Jimin and flashing him that look again. The one from the cafe. “Typical alpha behaviour,” he sneered at Jimin. “The second something doesn’t go your way you bust out that voice, trying to make me back down or submit or some shit. God, you’re all the same.”
“‘What century are you living in that you think my gender dictates my behaviour?’” Jimin parroted back at him, and Yoongi looked the slightest bit apologetic. “It wasn’t on purpose, Yoongi-ssi. I assure you.” Yoongi winced at the honorific, like he hadn’t asked for it, but he didn’t say anything else and Jimin was so, so tired. He didn’t say goodbye, didn’t say anything when he walked away, telling everyone else that he wasn’t feeling so well. It wasn’t a lie.
YG POV
Yoongi watched Jimin walk away, and didn’t stop him. Couldn’t bring himself to do it, to admit he might have been wrong about the younger man like Hoseok had said. He spent the rest of the night in a haze, gliding along without really taking anything in, mind far away. He couldn’t help but keep replaying the conversation in his head, his heart clenching painfully.
He had made a mistake. There was no denying it anymore. He had let his past hurt create a new one instead of preventing more like it was supposed to, and now it was even worse. It was worse, because he hadn’t just hurt himself.
No, he had hurt fucking Jimin. Jimin , who smelt of the ocean and orchids and something that Yoongi couldn’t place (home, mate , not that he was ready to admit that to himself), who had a smile that could outshine the sun, who Yoongi was so, so in love with.
The realization hit him deep, and he felt like had been punched, breathless. His sight was blurry, and when it cleared, he was inside, sitting on Jin’s couch with Hoseok hovering over him looking severely worried.
“I love him,” Yoongi croaked out, unbelieving. Hoseok’s expression softened, but the worry lines didn’t leave his forehead.
“I could have told you that.” The words didn’t register with him, his mind still numb, his limbs tingling with shock.
“Hoseok-ah… I fucked up.” He tried to keep his voice from wobbling, tried to keep his eyes from turning glassy; he failed at both, miserably. “I-I need to go. Fuck, I need to fix this.” He scrambled up from the couch, Hoseok immediately stepping closer and holding him by the shoulders.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea right now? You’re not well hyung,” Hoseok said worriedly, checking him over to see if he was unsteady on his feet. He wasn’t.
“I’m fine, I’m fine. I just have to go; I have to see him.” Hoseok nodded understandingly, letting go of him, albeit reluctantly. Yoongi all but ran out of the house and towards his car, not even saying goodbye. He trusted that Hoseok would tell the others something plausible, if not the truth, not that he cared either way.
His fingers fumbled with the car keys, and then his engine was running and he was heading to the all too familiar apartment building, using every ounce of his self control not to speed too much. The elevator ride up to Jimin’s floor was too quiet, almost suffocating, but he bore through it and finally, finally , he was at Jimin’s doorstep.
His hand froze halfway to the door, faltering. Did Jimin even want to see him after all he had said and done? Perhaps it would be better to just go, lest he hurt Jimin even more. But he deserves to know it wasn’t him , the voice in the back of his head supplied, your insecurities shouldn’t become his .
With that thought, he finally knocked on the door, waiting with baited breath. There was a faint “coming” from inside the apartment, followed by the shuffling sound of feet before the door swung open and Yoongi’s heart seized up.
Jimin stood in the doorway, eyes rimmed red and flushed cheeks glistening ever so slightly, seemingly frozen solid at the sight of Yoongi. The silence stretched on for a minute before Yoongi parted his mouth. “Jimin-ah….” That was all it took for Jimin’s face to scrunch up, a fresh wave of tears falling from his eyes, accompanied by a hiccuping sob. Yoongi didn’t waste any time in surging forward and gathering the crying boy into his arms, petting his hair as Jimin clung to the back of his shirt. “I’m sorry baby boy, I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t mean it; don’t cry Jimin-ah, hyung is so sorry, don’t cry sweetheart.” He babbled the words hastily, panicking when Jimin only sobbed harder into his neck.
They sunk to the ground together, Yoongi barely having the sense of mind to close the apartment door behind them before tightening his grip around Jimin as the young alpha let his tears carry his frustrations and hurt. Yoongi’s mind was screaming at him, craving to make it better, to make Jimin smile again, but there wasn’t much he could do but wait until the younger male had calmed down.
And that’s exactly what he did. For however long it took for Jimin’s breathing to calm down -felt like hours, days , but it was probably only minutes- he held the alpha, running fingers through his hair and gently scenting him as he apologized over and over again.
“I thought you really hated me,” was the first words Jimin said to him after he had stopped crying and Yoongi could feel himself tear up with how much regret filled him. “You seemed so disgusted with me when I asked you out that I-” Jimin broke off, sounding close to tears again and Yoongi’s hold on him tightened instinctually, panic rising in his throat. They were so tangled together that all Yoongi could breathe was Jimin Jimin Jimin , with his own faint caramel scent mixing in from the scenting.
“I’m so sorry I- fuck . I didn’t want to hurt you; I never meant to hurt you.” His own voice was wet, and he faintly realized he was on the verge of crying.
“Then why did you?” Jimin’s voice was so small Yoongi barely caught it.
“I was scared.” The admittance left a bitter taste in his mouth, but Jimin deserved the truth. “There’s never been an alpha who’s wanted anything besides my body, and I didn’t want to find out that you were like that too because I-I-” Great, now he was the one crying. Jimin shifted them slightly so that he was the one engulfing Yoongi with his arms, and it took so much restraint not to cry harder. “Fucking hell,” he managed to get out between hiccups. “Why are you comforting me? I’ve been such an ass.”
“You know why, hyung.” The reply soothes something inside of Yoongi he didn’t even know was agitated. That he was still wanted, still loved by his alpha. The thought was so comforting he almost went boneless in Jimin’s hold.
“Yeah, I know.”