Chapter Text
It always gets as bad as this when he fails to save someone. The feeling of being inadequate, of being a disappointment, of letting yet another person down. No matter how many lives he saves, it never lightens the load of guilt he has over the ones he isn’t able to.
Whenever Bakugou tries to comfort him, the words register and sink in, but never long enough to stick. Like a sifter in his mind with holes too wide and far apart, or a veil, just thin enough to see light shine through, but never as luminous as it should be. Todoroki feels somehow that’s even worse than it being completely walled up.
It does help though, that Bakugou doesn’t tire from trying anyway. Stubborn and endearing, just in the way he always is.
"I know you think you’re all of these shitty things that you aren’t, but,” Bakugou pauses, eyebrows scrunching inwards—and then relaxing. He moves his free hand to make Todoroki look up properly, touch gentle. When they lock eyes, Todoroki is expecting to see anger or frustration, but instead is met with a look of determination and resolve.
He’s seen it once or twice before, the fire in Bakugou’s eyes that means he’s about to be given praise he knows he deserves but can never grasp to be true. A shame, really, because Bakugou rarely praises anyone.
“Even if you never believe me, I’ll still want you.” There’s something in his voice that just sounds so, well, resigned. Not in an unpleasant way though, no. Resigned might not be the right word. This time, his eyes are so clear and bright and radiant, it feels like part of the veil burns right off in the face of it.
Todoroki’s eyes widen. That’s not what he was expecting. Not at all. The shock from the admission clearly evident on his own face makes Bakugou shift his eyes to the side. (Later, Todoroki realizes the other had been embarrassed. The thought makes his insides feel warm.)
Despite the lack of a reply, Bakugou tries to barrel on. “I know I’m not the best at showing it but I-I’ll always, always-"
Todoroki kisses him before he can finish because Bakugou doesn’t have to say it. No one has to tell him. Todoroki already knows. And someday, he decides as he’s leaning in to rest his head on his maybe-lover’s shoulder, he’s going to understand why.
Until then, Todoroki will just have to carry every truth he knows as close to his heart as possible.