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As a kid, Raleigh Becket had always dreamed of being a super hero. He and Yancy used to tie blankets around their necks for capes and patrol an old, abandoned warehouse, saving the world one imaginary bad guy at a time.
Of course, those daydreams had died with Yancy. Even when he came back to the shatterdome at the eleventh hour, he hadn't felt heroic. Just... tired. Just wanting to be done.
Now, lying in a hospital bed in medical under observation for having fallen into another dimension and dying a little bit and piloting solo for a second time, he wasn't sure what to feel. The med techs assured him he was a hero, and he certainly saw Mako as one -- she was one bed over, so he could look over and marvel at her any time he wanted -- but he'd only done what was necessary. He'd ejected Mako because she'd already done the hard part. He was just dotting the final Is and crossing the final Ts on a mission that had a near zero chance of succeeding but had somehow actually worked.
No one would miss him if he hadn't made it back. Not for long, anyway. Mako would grieve, of course, but she'd have taken solace in Pentecost and buried herself in rebuilding the world. She would have moved on, stronger than ever.
Even Chuck would've just found someone else to feed off of. Given that Raleigh hadn't seen hide nor hair of him all day, he supposed the kid -- vampire -- already had. Herc had come to visit them and was clearly well-fed -- the red around his eyes still hadn't sank in fully, and his lips were still flush with that plump glow Raleigh had come to associate with a successful, satisfying feeding -- so there were clearly other willing donors to be had.
So no. No one would've missed the ol' has-been for long.
He wasn't a hero. And he may have just outlived his usefulness.
"Raleigh." Mako shook her head at him from her bed six feet away. "I can feel you doubting yourself all the way over here."
He rolled his head her way and grinned a bit at the chiding expression and the slightest quirk of a grin in her eyes. "Ghost Drift?"
She huffed softly. "No. It's all over your face."
She reached out a hand, but even reaching as far as he could without shoving over to the edge of the mattress, he could only barely touch her fingertips. It was enough, though. It grounded him.
"You did well, you know. You finished the job." The grin finally touched her mouth. "More importantly, you came back."
Oh, that felt good. He smiled and leaned over far enough to actually take her hand, though the med techs would tsk at him for risking the monitor leads stuck all over him. Their eyes met, and they let what was left of the Drift talk for them. They couldn't read each other's minds, of course, but they didn't really have to. They just knew.
The moment passed, and he gave her hand a squeeze and scooted back to the center of his mattress. "I guess I just wonder... what next? Now that there are no jaegers and no kaiju, I mean."
She hmmed softly. "There is still so much to be done. Jaeger tech can still be used and improved, and the PPDC will have bargaining power now to forge our own contracts and determine our own path forward."
He looked at her, one eyebrow raised, and she caught herself. Mako. God, she was miles and leagues ahead of him, a genius where he was just a guy who was good in a fight. A potentially brain-damaged, possibly irradiated-by-an-alien-dimension guy, at that.
Grinning sheepishly, she shrugged. "You will always have a place here, Raleigh. But if you don't want to stay, I suspect a man with specialized construction experience will be in high demand around the Rim." She wasn't smiling now, though she tried to. "You could have your pick of jobs and no longer be forced to work for rations. Everyone will want to brag that Raleigh Becket, hero who saved the world, built their new home or office building or restaurant."
There was that word again. Hero. It... wasn't him.
He had a dismaying feeling the press would run with it, anyway.
Ugh.
--
"We won't be able to hold 'em off for long." Herc sighed, still looking ten years younger but so, so tired, and ran a hand up his face and into his hair. "Tendo managed to wrangle all the press demands into a few select events, but that's the best we can do to stall 'em. They know you lot are still in observation to make sure nothing... er... came back with you, but they're chomping at the bit. Buncha bloody sharks, they are."
Raleigh sighed. Day Two, post-Pitfall, and the sharks were already circling. "Tell them we're blown all to hell and may not survive."
"Raleigh." But Mako still had a hint of a grin in her eyes.
He didn't bother hiding his grin in his eyes, instead letting it spread all over his face. "Hey, I dunno about you two, but I could sneak out of here and be back in Alaska, safely anonymous, by tomorrow."
Herc huffed. "Don't reckon Chuck would be too keen on that, but I wouldn't blame you for trying." He shook his head. "Not sure I wouldn't join you, but Stacker's officially stepped aside, due to declining health, and the brass is making me the official marshal this afternoon. The wankers." He shot a wry grin at Mako. "Don't suppose you like the sound of Deputy Marshal Mako Mori, eh?"
Her eyes lit up, and the pair began to talk excitedly, but Raleigh was stuck back a few steps. Chuck. Why wouldn't Chuck be too keen on him leaving? Surely, the big jerk would be glad to see the last of him.
Sure, the kid had been grateful for the voluntary feedings, even if Raleigh's blood apparently hadn't spiced up much in the few days before Pitfall, but that was it. Gratitude for help, a certain comraderie from piloting successfully together. It was more than Raleigh had even considered from their first few meetings. And the fight.
So... why would Chuck care if Raleigh left? Not that he was even considering doing so. Frankly, he had no idea what to do now that the world wasn't ending. But if he did, he very much doubted Chuck would care.
Without thinking it through, he tilted his head and asked the question, accidentally interrupting. "Why would Chuck care if I left?"
They broke off, each looking at him with varying levels of confusion.
He blinked. "Sorry. Didn't mean to... just... I doubt he'd even notice." Snorting, he crossed his arms. "In fact, I thought he'd be glad to see the last of the has-been."
Herc shot a quick glance at Mako, but thankfully, she was looking at Raleigh, puzzled. "Uh... thought you two had become... friends, yeah?"
Oh. Mako still didn't know about the vampire thing. Careful, here. He didn't like to keep things from her, but this secret wasn't his to spill around all willy-nilly.
He cleared his throat. "Well, yeah, but that was before... I mean... surely he's... made other friends by now?"
Still perplexed, Mako huffed. "Chuck has never been that good at making friends. It would definitely take more than a day."
He coughed a bit, trying and failing to hide a smirk. "That, I believe."
"Oi!" Herc looked pretty serious, though his tone suggested he was tempted to snicker with them. "But true enough, yeah? My boy doesn't make... friends... easily. Are you saying he's not... been by to see you?"
A ginger eyebrow rose, infusing the simple question with meaning. If Herc didn't watch it, Mako would end up thinking he and Chuck were fucking, and wouldn't that be a goddamn laugh riot.
Or would be, if it didn't sound like Chuck hadn't eaten since Pitfall. The last thing Raleigh wanted to do was make another big gesture. Chuck had been so hungry that first time that he'd actually knocked Raleigh out, drinking so deep. He'd only left him a little light-headed after that, sometimes a bit chilled but usually fine and functioning.
So, he shot Herc what he hoped wasn't too concerned a look and shrugged. "Haven't seen him. Thought he had better things to do."
Or better people to feed off of.
Herc understood the look just fine and frowned. "Reckon maybe he might, but... huh." He shook his head once, as if to clear it. "Still pretty fucking rude, though, to not so much as stop by."
Meaning that it was probably all right, but Herc was a bit disappointed. Which seemed odd, but who was Raleigh to try and guess the Hansen family dynamic?
Mako shrugged. "Maybe he's not sure he's welcome. Could you tell him we'd like to see him?"
Bless her. She was such a pure soul. Raleigh couldn't help but smile at her like she was the sunrise after a nightmare.
Herc smiled, too, just as unable to resist her. "I will. Remind him of his manners whilst I'm at it, the rotten sod."
Meaning Chuck should at least show some gratitude for Raleigh filling in, even if the kid had found someone else to feed on since then. Honestly, Raleigh didn't care one way or the other, so long as the big jerk wasn't starving himself.
Or maybe Chuck just didn't want to feed on someone who'd been in another dimension until the doctors made sure it hadn't done something dangerous to his blood.
Huh.
More troubled than he'd like to admit, Raleigh remained quiet for the rest of the conversation and only mumbled a distracted goodbye when Herc left. They'd been talking about policy and official stuff, anyway, so he doubted he'd missed much or could have really contributed.
And as he and Mako settled down for what little sleep they could find between the nightmares and the constant waking to have their vitals checked, he couldn't help but wonder if Chuck was okay. If the kid had fed properly.
If the new volunteer's blood tasted better than his.
Grumbling, he slipped off into uneasy dreams.
--
Day Three, post-Pitfall, and Herc looked worried. The marshal had waited until Mako was wheeled out for tests, then hit Raleigh with worried blue eyes.
"He's not feeding. Won't tell me why. He's starting to get that 'everyone smells like food' look about him, and when I told him you'd asked him for a visit, he... mate, he just looked even more frustrated."
Unfortunately, reasons why Chuck wouldn't want to feed on him anymore had been filling his mind all night. "Is he thinking my blood is messed up from being in another dimension? All my bloodwork seems to be fine. I mean, I'm a little iron deficient and such, but I already was."
And Chuck had eaten him just fine before, though not without that prissy little expression of distaste because the supplements weren't fixing the malnourishment fast enough to suit him. Because Raleigh sometimes skipped them. Because they made him sick at his stomach.
But that thought had been chasing all the other reasons why Chuck wasn't feeding on him all night, and Herc had been talking, and Raleigh had missed most of it.
"--if he weren't such a stubborn little shite and would just tell me."
Of course Chuck wouldn't talk to Herc. The pair were better than they had been in the past -- on the rare occasion where he and Chuck actually talked before or after feeding, Chuck admitted that feeding on Herc the past year had reminded him that his father really did care about him and had buried much of the animosity and survivor guilt between them, but they were still awkward talking about feelings or anything too personal -- but far from that level of communication. And without the Drift....
Frowning, he sat up and started pulling off monitor stickies.
"Oi, the fuck do you think you're doing?"
He ignored the incredulous tone and yanked the pulse sensor from his left index finger. That one actually hurt. The bastards really didn't want it coming off. Of course, the monitors went haywire as he divested himself of everything but the IV in his arm, and before he could even swing himself out of bed, med techs were already pouring into his room.
"Just stop." He was in no mood to explain himself at the moment. When the babble died down, he forced something like a smile, though it couldn't possibly look like one. "I'll be right back. I just have to go check on something."
"Raleigh, mate, you can't--"
"Herc. I said I'd be right back. You know this is important."
The marshal opened his mouth, closed it, frowned heavily, then nodded. "All right. I'll allow it this once. He's in his bunk, so you can't get in too much trouble so long as you come right back after." He shook his head, then smirked. "But you might want to tie up the back of your gown."
Blushing a bit -- and, if he was honest, already feeling light-headed after lying about for going on three days -- he waited until one of the muttering, quietly protesting techs tied him up enough to hide his ass, then hobbled right out of the medical wing in his bare feet.
He should've asked for socks. Unfortunately, he wasn't sure he wouldn't have lost his nerve if he'd paused even a minute longer.
By the time he made it to the residential area, he'd been accosted at least a dozen times by people wanting to take him back to the med bay, people worried that he'd lost his mind, people thrilled to see him up and about, and once by a wide-eyed Stacker who only let him pass when Raleigh gruffly explained that Chuck hadn't been by to see him but hadn't been feeding off anyone else, either. Pentecost was perhaps the only person besides Raleigh, Chuck, Herc, and whoever Herc was feeding on to know about the whole vampire situation, and it seemed the fastest way to get the former marshal to let him pass.
More tired than he'd like to admit and listing severely to starboard as his wrecked knee protested all this activity, he finally climbed the steps to Chuck's stoop, picking up his stupid IV tree to haul up with him, and knocked on the door. The second it opened and Chuck realized who had come to visit, the poor kid's eyes went nearly feral.
"Chuck, Jesus, you definitely need to feed."
"No." But the poor bastard sounded desperate as he jerked away, hiding in the shadowy interior of the bunk. "Get out, mate. I'll take too much."
Even more resolved now than before in the med bay, Raleigh limped into the darkened room and shut the door behind him. "Feed. I'm fine. All my bloodwork says I'm the same as before."
The brain scans were a different story, and he'd have months of PT in his future if he wanted to regain full function from losing yet another of Gipsy's arms and the crushing of her knee, but that was a conversation for another time. He could practically feel Chuck's hunger creeping along his skin in the near-dark.
But still, the big jerk huddled back in a corner, eyes wide and wall-eyed, the hunger all over him even worse than the first time he'd fed on him.
"Raleigh... mate, you gotta leave. The deal was just until Pitfall, yeah?"
"Chuck. It's okay." He sighed. "The deal is extended, okay?"
"You need to heal up. Get back on your feet."
He was too tired for this.
"Jesus, Chuck, I just dragged my tired ass out of the medical bay for you, so just fucking feed already!"
He didn't even have a chance to blink before that hard, hungry mouth was at his throat, Chuck's big, flexing body wrapped around him. He gasped but refused to pull away, no matter how much that jolt of inhuman speed had startled him.
The sharp, deadly teeth sank in. It hurt, but only for a second. And only sort of.
Once the feeding started, Raleigh never felt any pain.
Two draughts in, and his knees were already weak. Chuck held him almost painfully tight, but was still careful enough of his strength that it only kept him from falling to the floor. Another draught, and his head reeled deliciously. They usually stopped at three, but it had been too long for that.
Four sucking, groaning draughts, and Raleigh realized he'd missed this. Missed the feeling of being cradled in brutally strong arms that could crush him. Missed that hard mouth softening as his blood warmed it. As the edge of hunger faded and Chuck drank simply because he wanted more. As his own body slumped, helpless, but he wasn't worried because Chuck wouldn't hurt him, would stop before the blood loss became dangerous.
Because it felt so goddamn good.
So maybe allowing Chuck to feed on him every day hadn't just been a duty, after all. And maybe letting him feed now -- another thick, heavy draw at his neck left him groaning as deep as Chuck -- wasn't just to keep the kid from starving.
Whatever. He'd worry about it later.
Chuck whimpered softly -- whimpered! -- and licked over the wounds to seal them, then kept licking to get every last taste of blood, flushed, soft lips teasing his skin. Raleigh lolled in his grip, teetering on the edge of consciousness where everything felt hazy and slow and wonderful. He needed to stay awake long enough to make sure Chuck didn't get upset from draining him so much, but it was hard not to sink into the warmth of that body, to let Chuck hold him tight and maybe carry him back to the med bay like he'd carried him to his own bunk that first time.
He was chilled from blood loss and exhaustion, and Chuck felt like a crackling fire against him, hot hands finding bare skin as his stupid hospital johnny gave up the fight to stay tied shut in the back. It was all he could do not to snuggle up against the big ginger jerk and just... rest.
So tired. He could probably sleep all night like this. Too drained for bad dreams.
"Raleigh?"
Hmming, he let his face rest in the warm cave of Chuck's neck.
"Oh, fuck. Fuck, this is why I didn't want to... Jesus, mate, wake up, yeah?"
"'M awake."
"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I didn't mean to take so much, but I was just so fucking hungry and you smell so goddamn good--"
"'S okay." He couldn't move much, but he did his best to cuddle closer. Chuck was so damn warm after a feeding. "Knew you'd have to." Frowning a bit, he tried to poke the big jerk but wasn't able to get much oomph behind the gesture. "Should've fed sooner. Wouldn't have needed so much."
To his muzzy delight, Chuck groaned softly and shifted his grip to pick him up princess style in strong, hard arms, then settled on the bed with Raleigh bundled up in his lap, hot hands on his bare skin, still holding him close. The kid hadn't held him like this since that first time, and in his foggy post-feeding haze, Raleigh couldn't help but feel... protected. Cared for.
Maybe even wanted. Not just as a food source.
"I know, mate. I just... didn't want to presume, yeah? And you're in the fucking hospital. You needed to rest and heal, not be my goddamn buffet."
Snuggling into that warm, strong embrace -- he could be embarrassed about being needy and touch-starved later -- he muttered. He wasn't sure there were actual words in there, but he hoped Chuck understood that he was an idiot, that he was a stubborn jackass, and that if he'd just kept feeding a little every day, Raleigh wouldn't be passing out in slow motion even as he muttered.
"Yeah, yeah, mate. I hear ya."
He wasn't sure, but he thought he felt those flushed lips touch his temple before he faded out for a while.
--
When he faded back in, he was back in his hospital bed, light-headed but feeling more himself. He blinked his eyes opened and turned his head. Mako was back from her tests, smiling softly as she read off a tablet propped up on her food tray. He turned his head the other way and... oh.
Chuck sat in the chair Herc usually occupied, looking normal. Not starved, not wild-eyed. When the big jerk realized Raleigh was awake and looking at him, he grinned crookedly, flashing that ridiculous dimple.
"There you are."
He found himself grinning in return. "Did I miss anything?"
The grin turned into a smirk. "Just me telling the med techs to add more nutrients to your IV sludge. You're still malnourished, mate. The fuck are they feeding you in here?"
Without looking up from her tablet, Mako cleared her throat. "Thank you for being so concerned about my health and nutrition, Chuck. It's gratifying to have friends who are so involved in my well-being."
To his credit, the kid managed to look a bit sheepish. "Oi, you've not been on rations for five years. This rotten sod's practically starving, yeah?"
This time, she did look up from her tablet, her eyes twinkling. "Well, you did have to carry him back. I can't believe the marshal allowed him to leave so soon." She shook her head, looking more serious. "Raleigh, what were you thinking?"
He blanked. If she didn't know about the vampire thing, what excuse could he possibly give for tearing off all his leads and limping out in search of Chuck?
Eyes wide and blinking, he looked to the kid for inspiration.
"My fault, yeah?" Thankfully, Chuck seemed unruffled. "I should've come visit sooner. Just... wasn't sure of my welcome."
Relieved, he tipped the big jerk a slight nod.
"I'll stop by every day, yeah?" The grin returned, as did the dimple. "Have to make sure this wanker doesn't go walkabout again until they actually let him out."
Mako chuckled and went back to her tablet. Raleigh, though, got the message loud and clear.
Chuck would go back to feeding every day. Sure, the kid would likely find a better food source down the line, but until then, Raleigh would still feed him.
Even if it meant taking supplements. Most of the time.
Okay, sometimes.
Okay, once in a while.
Hey. No one said he was a hero.
THE END