Chapter Text
Min Yoongi never thought in a million years that he would end up on one of those chatrooms that was basically a chatroom for people asking each other for advice on life, on love, on just about anything. And he never would have thought that he’d basically be the main admin on a chatroom. But here he was. And to top it all off; he was the one giving people advice.
They had declared him some kind of love guru. How the hell that happened, Yoongi would never know. And they took to paying him too. He never asked them too. Hell, he didn’t want their money, but he accepted it because they very much insisted and would hound him until he gave them his PayPal information. So, it had become a side job. Honestly Yoongi just enjoyed helping these poor saps out, out of the kindness of his poor pathetic grumpy old man heart. He did think people deserved to love someone even though he didn’t even have a love life himself. And it was something that he typically wouldn’t do in real life because he hated talking to people for long periods of time; especially in person. The only people he could talk to for certain amounts of time in person were his friends. Six people. And even then, he had a hard time talking to one of them.
But maybe that’s because he was basically in love with Park Jimin.
He remembers when he met Jimin.
It was one Saturday at Namjoon’s apartment that was off campus, yet still very close to all the college life, which Yoongi hated very much. He tried to avoid college life at all cost, even though he was in college. But he doesn’t particularly like college life, what with all the loud yelling and partying all the fucking time. He prefers the quiet. So that he can focus on what really matters. He’s music, art and photography.
But Yoongi found himself walking towards Namjoon’s apartment, watching as countless college students shuffled by, some yelling and some that already seemed drunk even though it was barely 11 in the morning.
As Yoongi stepped onto Namjoon’s front lawn, he almost got pushed over by someone. They literally crashed into his shoulder rather painfully and almost made them both fall down, but Yoongi managed to catch the boy and steady both of them.
“Oh, gosh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to run into you. Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” the boy said. Yoongi was about to cuss the little fucker out when he looked up at saw him for the first time.
This boy was breathtakingly beautiful. He had full, plump pink lips, dark eyes that could probably see into your soul, high cheeks bones, altogether beautiful face and orange hair that looked like the color of sunrise when it’s already been risen for a couple of seconds. He was around the same height, maybe a centimeter or two shorter; give or take. He seemed more muscular than himself. His thighs certainly were way bigger than his own and were hard to look away from because damn they looked good in those light faded ripped jeans that he was wearing. He was also wearing a white v-neck shirt that hung loosely over his thin shoulders. Silver earrings dangled from multiple holes in his ears and a single silver chain hung around his neck. How can one be that fucking hot and cute at the same time? His hands were adorable; they were so cute and small and looked like they'd fit into Yoongi’s hands perfectly.
Yoongi shook himself out of his staring and said, “Yah! Watch where you’re going.” Because even though the boy may be beautiful doesn’t mean that he was going to be nice to someone who just ran into him. This boy could very much be one of those annoying college frat boys that he didn’t want to deal with.
The boy smiled just then. Eyes turning into tiny crescents and Yoongi sucked in a breath. Could he get anymore beautiful? “I’m terribly sorry,” the boy said, “I was trying to avoid those frat boys over there. They were trying to get my attention, by showing off and being idiots and when I ignored them they came after me. I tried hurrying away and then tripped on my bag.” He pointed at his arm, but there was nothing there. He looked around himself, trying to find his bag.
Yoongi looked at the ground behind him and saw a peach bag with a long strap laying on the ground. Yoongi bent to pick it up. “This one?” he asked and held it out towards the boy. The boy whirled around towards Yoongi and then grinned when he saw it; eyes turning into crescents once more. “Thank you,” he said, “I’m J-” He was cut off by a whistling.
He looked behind him. Yoongi followed his gaze after a moment. He saw those stupid drunk college boys. The boy turned back around towards him fast and stepped closer to him. “D-Do you think you can do me a favor and just put your arm around me for a second and walk me towards the door? My friend is just inside.” the boy asked him. Yoongi glanced back at the frat boys for a second and then looked at the boy again and then quickly put his arm around the boy’s waist and the boy he put his hands on one of Yoongi’s arms. Wait? Walk him to the door? As in Namjoon’s door? As in he was coming to Namjoon’s? Did this boy know Namjoon? Or did he know Seokjin?
Yoongi ignored the little current that he felt shoot through him from the contact of his hand on the boy’s waist. “Ah, he’s taken!” he heard the boys shout from behind him. Yoongi didn’t even glance back at the guys. They were irritating as is and he didn’t feel the need to acknowledge them again.
He felt eyes on him and looked over. The boy was staring at him. “I’m Jimin by the way,” the boy said, “Park Jimin.” He had a nice name. “I’m Min Yoongi,” he said. Jimin smiled. They had stopped at the door and Jimin had knocked. “How do you know Namjoon?” Yoongi asked. Jimin looked a little shocked. “Wait, you know Namjoon-hyung?” Yoongi nodded. If Jimin was calling Namjoon hyung, then that meant that Jimin was younger than himself. Jimin’s eyes widened slightly. “I met him through Kim Seokjin-hyung,” Jimin said. “Oh, so you know Mama Jin,” Yoongi said and Jimin laughed at this; his face lighting up and his eyes turned into crescents again.
Just then the door to Namjoon’s apartment opened and there stood Namjoon in all is tall glory; overshadowing them. “Wait, you guys know each other?” Namjoon asked them, “are you guys dating?” “Dating?” him and Jimin said at the same time, confused. Namjoon gestured between them. They looked at each other and only then realized that Jimin still hand his hands on Yoongi’s arm and Yoongi still had his arm around Jimin’s waist. They pulled apart.
Yoongi rubbed the back of his neck and Jimin looked down at the ground. When Yoongi glanced over at Jimin, it looked like Jimin had a faint blush on his cheeks. Yoongi felt his own blush heat his cheeks. “No, I was just helping him out with the drunk college idiots that were harassing him,” Yoongi said, “we just barely met.” Namjoon gave them this disbelieving look. “It’s true, hyung,” Jimin said, “those guys were being jerks on my walk over here. And that one guy, Han Sang-hyuk, he’s a jerk and always tries to get me to talk to him. He was just helping me is all.” “Aw, it looks like Yoongi- hyung is a good hyung,” Namjoon said, “so sweet. Anyways, come in Jiminie; Yoongi-hyung.” And then he stepped aside and they walked in.
His inbox chimed; letting him know that he had a new message. It brought Yoongi out of his memory. He clicked the message to open it.
It was from someone named dancerjp59.
Hey sugabeatz, this is dancerjp59. I was wondering if I could possibly ask you for some advice. I’ve been in this chatroom once before, but my friend is the one who told me about you. You helped him with something before. You helped him and his boyfriend basically get together. I was just wondering if I could get your advice on something similar?
I’ve helped their friend before? I wonder what I helped their friend with? he thought. He knew a lot of people have been asking his advice for a lot of things lately and apparently his advice had been really helpful. Yoongi was actually kind of proud of that. Not that he would vocally express that and he definitely would not let any of his friends know that he was giving out love advice. They would definitely laugh at him for that. Especially Taehyung and Jungkook. Those two annoyingly obnoxious boyfriends that were first introduced to him, Namjoon and Seokjin by Jimin. They weren’t dating back then, but apparently with some help from some unknown source, Taehyung was able to capture Jungkook’s heart. Taehyung said he promised he wouldn’t tell where he had got the help from. Although, Yoongi suspected that Jimin knew. Him and Taehyung were best friends. Jungkookie didn’t mind though because they were together now.
He looked back at the message. Then he typed:
Let me know about you and this boy that you’re crushing on? Does he know you exist? Are you afraid to tell him because you don’t think he’ll like you back because you’re a guy? Give me the details.
He knew that his new… uh… client? He never knew what to call them, but he knew that it was a guy and that he was crushing on another guy. Not that Yoongi minded. Yoongi was gay himself, but he knew that most of the clients? People? That came looking for his advice on love had been guys looking to get advice on how to get their love-interest interested in them and that these guys were into other guys. Most of them, he figured were closeted because they took to asking Yoongi for love advice. They knew he was a guy. They even knew he was gay or sort of gay, according to one girl that had asked him for advice a while back. She was probably one of the ones that had told everyone that she thought that Suga wasn’t all that gay and probably bisexual; which in all honestly, he has no idea how they had figured out anything about him when no one knew him personally, but it didn’t bother him at all. Yoongi guess word had gotten around about his advice. He was becoming really popular around campus. Although, technically he wasn’t. It was all Suga or sugabeatz, the love guru.
Yoongi was glad that no one knew that he was Suga because he, quite frankly, didn’t want that attention at all. He’d rather walk around naked through the campus than admit to everyone that he was Suga. Although, he had thought about telling maybe Hoseok at least, once before. He still didn’t know if he should though. Hoseok would have a good laugh about that; he just knew.
Dancerjp59 was typing…. It said.
No doubt he was going to get a shocked response.
Excuse me, sugabeatz, but why do you think I’m a guy interested in another guy? You don’t even know me.
Yoongi smirked. A smartass. Maybe this guy was still closeted. He’s had those before plenty of times.
Just a lucky guess, I suppose, dancerjp59. I mean you said I helped a friend of yours get with his boyfriend and you wanted help with something similar. Forgive me if I made assumptions. What did you need help with?
This one was a little sensitive. He guessed he needed to cut back and be a little less straightforward. He wasn’t straight anyways. He chuckled at his own joke.
He heard noises coming from the kitchen. A bowl sounded like it hit the ground. Damn, what was Hoseok doing? He better not be trying to cook by himself. Yoongi had told him to wait for him. Dammit. He glanced back at his screen.
Dancerjp59 was typing…. It said.
He closed his laptop and walked out of his room. He’d deal with dancerjp59 in a minute. He just wanted to make sure that Hoseok wasn’t burning the house down or anything. He wanted a heads-up before that had happened. He needed to know if he would have time to collect at least his notebooks and flash drives, for those were the only things he cared about. Those held everything that he valued. His writings, drawings, photography. His music that he had still yet to produce all of.
As he walked into the kitchen he saw Hoseok picking up the bowl and the bag of flour from the floor. It was a mess in the kitchen. There was flour everywhere, all over the counter that held bowls and ingredients that looked like he was trying to bake something and all over the floor of their kitchen, all the way from the refrigerator to the left of the counter to the carpet on the other end of the kitchen where it opened up into their living room. “Shit, Hoseok-ah, what are you doing?” Yoongi asked the younger. Hoseok stood up fast and turned towards Yoongi. If Namjoon had done that, he most likely would have fell over because Namjoon is such a klutz. Hobi, on the other hand was a dancer; a dance major at that. So, he made the motion look easy, but the look on his face was a tab bit frightened.
“Hyung, I didn’t realize that you were still here. I thought you had went down to the studio with Namjoon and Seokjin-hyung,” Hobi said, “that’s what Namjoon had said you guys were going to do.”
“Shit, right. I had forgotten,” Yoongi said, “I was working on a project for class and I had forgotten. It’s due soon.” Hoseok just nodded; easily accepting this excuse. Not that he knew it was an excuse anyways.
“Again, I ask, Hoseok-ah, what are you doing?” Yoongi asked as he looked from the counter to the floor to Hoseok. The younger looked a little ashamed. He rubbed the back of his neck with one of his hands. “Oh, uh, yea, I was just trying to make a cake or something for Jungkookie’s birthday since we were going to have dinner at Namjoonie and Jin-hyung’s house tomorrow night. I thought maybe one of us should make a cake instead of buying it. I didn’t know you were home or else I would have asked you for help.” Hoseok smiled his bright sunshiny smile just then.
Yoongi just shook his head. “Well, just ask next time and I’ll help. I’ll help you after I get back tonight from the studio. And I mean you should come with me because Namjoon is working on a song that he wants you to help with also. Let me just finish up this one thing on my project. You clean up here and get yourself cleaned up and then we can go. I should be done by then. Then we’ll come back and bake Kookie a cake,” Yoongi said. Hobi nodded, while grabbing the broom and proceed to clean up.
Yoongi walked back into his room and opened his laptop again. There was a message from dancerjp59.
Forgive me for being rude, sugabeatz, it’s just I’m a little nervous. I know you don’t know me and I feel like a complete loser for asking for advice from a love guru, but I’m a little desperate. I would ask my friend, but I haven’t told him who I liked yet. I’m not sure that he would approve. Or maybe he would. I don’t know. I mean there’s nothing wrong with the guy I like. I think he’s wonderful, but my friend thinks he’s a little, well not friendly. So, I don’t think he’d approve of him. And okay, yea, I’m gay. My friends know, but they don’t know that I have a crush on this guy, yet. I haven’t told them. But I kind of don’t want to either because it’s… well, it’s kind of one of them. Yea, anyways, so do you think you can help me? I’ll pay you. I know you don’t ask for payment, but I’ll still pay you. Especially if you help me out. I’m kind of working with nothing here and I’m nervous as hell. I don’t know what to do. I need help. Please, help me, love guru, please help me!
Okay, this kid did seem desperate. It pulled at his cold grumpy heart. He guessed he could help him out, but he’d had to start later because Namjoon was waiting for him and he needed to get there before he got an even bigger lecture than he knew was already going to get. He really didn’t want a bigger lecture from Namjoon. Once that kid got started, he could talk for hours. Yoongi sighed and then typed a reply.
Alright, dancerjp59, I’ll help you out. You seem to be a nice kid. And I detect from your username that you are younger than me. That 59 bullshit isn’t fooling me. You were born in ’95, am I right? So, you can call me hyung instead of love guru, because honestly, I hate that title. I have some projects to do for class right now, but I can help you out starting tomorrow if that’s okay with you. Just send me what you would like to me do and maybe a little bit about you and the person that you want me to help you with. So, I can see what I have to work with. Don’t tell me any names though, because I respect and appreciate privacy. So, I won’t be telling you my name either. I look forward to working with you and helping you out. Get back to me with details. I probably won’t read your message or respond to you until tomorrow, so talk to you tomorrow, dancerjp59.
He closed his laptop and got up to grab a hoodie because he knew it was going to be a little cold out. He grabbed a scarf as well. He knew he probably should have changed his pants into something other than the ripped black jeans that he was wearing, but he really didn’t care. As long as is face and neck were covered that’s all that mattered.
He walked into the kitchen and Hoseok was standing there waiting for him. “Let’s go hyung,” he said with his sunshiny smile.
Yoongi and Hoseok were sitting in the studio listening to Namjoon ramble on about being late and how if they had considered him and Jin-hyung’s feeling than they would have been here sooner. And then he proceeded to going into a lecture on balancing your time equally. “Yah, brat!” Yoongi said after about 10 minutes, “I’m done with your lectures. Can we get to the song now?” Namjoon looked like he was about to talk some more.
Luckily, though, they were saved by a knock on the door. Namjoon frowned at Yoongi and went to open it. Taehyung and Jimin stood there with smiles on their faces. Gosh, why did Jimin have to look so good. He was wearing a blue fuzzy sweater complete with sweater paws and everything, with tight black pants that showed every curve he had. And it showcased his rather firm thighs. Yoongi caught himself staring and looked up to see if anyone had notice. It didn’t seem like it so, he looked away from Jimin and to Taehyung, who was wearing… well he didn’t know what the hell Taehyung was wearing, but it fit together none the less. It actually looked like he was ready for a business dinner or something, but the shirt was way too colorful, probably some Gucci something or another since he was one of those spoiled rich brats and his tie was equally as colorful. His pants were the only normal thing about his outfit. They were black slacks.
“What brings you guys here?” Hoseok asked. “Oh, Jin-hyung asked us to come,” Jimin said, “he wanted us to help him with a couple of things and he told us that Namjoon-hyung need help with something as well.”
Yoongi saw Hoseok narrow his eyes. “What does Namjoon need help with, hm?” He was looking at Namjoon. Namjoon just smiled. “Oh, you know, just help with this song I’m working on,” Namjoon finally said.
Yoongi looked at Namjoon now too. What the hell? Namjoon needed Taehyung and Jimin’s help with a song? And Yoongi and Hoseok’s as well? What was going on here? “What the hell is going on here, Joonie-ah,” Yoongi said.
“Well, I was thinking and one of the producers from this company also think it’s a good idea, but he wants us to audition first, but I was thinking that we should form a group,” Namjoon said, “you know like bigbang or got7. I think it would be great. We could have a mixture of rappers and singers. Jimin-ah and Taehyung have good voice as does Jin-hyung. And we could do the rap parts. I think I would be great.” He had gestured between himself, Yoongi and Hoseok. Hoseok was sitting there with his mouth hanging open.
“What the hell makes you think we’d want to form a group with you guys anyways,” Yoongi said, “plus we’re already struggling college students. You want us to be struggle trainees, as well. Well, hell fucking no to that. You can count me out. I already have enough on my plate as it is. With finals coming up soon, my jobs and dealing with all of you. I don’t think I could deal with all of you every single day. I barely am able to stand Hoseok as it is and he’s my best friend.” “Yah, jerk” Hobi yelled at him. Yoongi continued, “Count me out. You guys can if you want to.”
Yoongi knew he sounded like a grumpy old man, but he didn’t need to add something as ridiculous as starting a fucking boy band to his plate. He’d rather eat dirt. He enjoyed making music, but actually having to perform and sing, like dancing in sync… he’d rather not.
“I… uhm…” Hobi started to say. He looked from Yoongi to Namjoon to Seokjin. “I mean I think it’s cool and all, but I don’t know if I’d be able to do it either with all the classes I’m taking, so I’ll have to decline as well. But I’d still like to help you work on the song,” Hobi said.
“Yoongi-hyung is such a grump,” Jimin said and giggled. Yoongi turned to glare at Jimin. He may be cute, but he was annoying as well. “Yah, brat!” Yoongi yelled. Jimin just smiled his crescent eyed smile at him. Yoongi looked away. He didn’t want him smiling at him like that when he was trying to be mad.
“Hyungs,” Taehyung said, “we were just messing with you guys.” Yoongi and Hoseok looked over at Taehyung. “What?” they said. Namjoon, Seokjin, Taehyung and Jimin were all laughing. Jimin was literally bent in half from laughter and his eyed turned into crescents. Yoongi didn’t know whether to be mad or assumed because of Jimin. But when he glanced at the others he decided that mad was the better of the two.
“Fuck this,” Yoongi said, “you guys wasted my time for nothing. I have business to take care of. I have to help dan…” He stopped what he was saying. “You have to help who?” Namjoon asked. “Dong-sun,” Yoongi said, “he’s in my art class. He needs my help with… well hell, I don’t know. But I’m out of here.” Yoongi got up to leave.
He was almost at the door when Taehyung blocked his way; holding his hands out in front of him. “No, hyung don’t go,” Taehyung said, “Jiminie, stop him.” Jimin grabbed him from behind and back hugged him. Taehyung hugged him from the front. “Yah, let me go,” Yoongi yelled as he tried to get away from them.
“No, hyung, you have to stay,” Namjoon said, “there really is a reason that we needed you here. It’s something for Jungkook’s birthday. We, well I mean it was Tae’s idea, but we want to record a song for Jungkook’s birthday with everyone and we wanted you guys to join us. It’s just one song. What do you say?” Namjoon came and stood beside the sandwiched Yoongi and put his hand on his shoulder. “Come on Yoongi,” Seokjin said standing on his other side in patted his head. Hoseok got up and said, “I’m in if you’re in hyung.” Oh gosh, even Hoseok? Traitor. “Yah. Yah, all of you off me,” Yoongi said, “off of me now, so I can think straight.” “Seeing as you’re nowhere near straight, I don’t see how that will even help,” Hoseok said. Taehyung snickered, but they all let him go.
“Fine, I’ll do it,” Yoongi said, “what did you have in mind?”
When Yoongi got home after the discussion of Jungkook’s song, which was pretty much almost finished because they all had already started it, he laid out on his bed. He didn’t understand how they didn’t tell him about this earlier. Was he that hard to ask a favor of? He didn’t think he was. Especially when it came to friends. Now if it was someone he didn’t know, he would have definitely had to think about it, but they were his friends. Jungkookie is his friend. He held a special place in his heart. He treated him like a little brother because Jungkook was so innocent sometimes to this cruel world and he just wanted to make sure he was okay.
Yoongi heaved a sigh and then sat up and grabbed his laptop. He guessed it was time to see what this dancerjp59 was giving him to work with. Yoongi already had an idea of how to fix the song for Jungkookie and he would send it to Namjoon as soon as he was done helping dancerjp59. He clicked open the chatroom and he saw that he had five new messages. He ignored the other four and opened up the one from dancerjp59.
Oh my gosh, thank you, thank you! Thank you, hyung, thank you. And if I may ask and not be rude, how old are you? If I’m going to be calling you hyung just based off you knowing how old I am, don’t you think I deserve to know how old you are? Anyways, all that aside. I kind of just want help to get the courage to be able to start talking to him and maybe flirt with him and eventually ask him out. If you knew me you’d probably think I was lying because my friends say that I am able to talk to just about anybody, but I am super nervous around my crush. He makes my knees turn to jelly when I’m around him. He’s such a sweetheart, even though I think he wants people to think he’s an asshole just so that they’ll avoid him, but as long as I’ve known him he has always been nice to me and to all his friends. Even though, he can be a grump sometimes. He’s very passionate about his art too and that is something else that attracted me to him. I just want to be able to show him the same love that he shows me. I mean I know that it’s not the same. I don’t think he loves me like that. I do know that he is for sure gay. I found that out tonight. I honestly thought he was just bisexual. But you don’t know how happy I was to find out he’s gay. I nearly died from smiling too much. But I just want him to feel every bit as loved as I feel, even if it’s not the same. Maybe he’ll just fall for me the way I started falling for him because I fell for him the first day I met him. He helped me out. He’s a really amazing friend and he’s very talented. And he’s very passionate about his dreams. I only hope I can become that passionate about something. Oh, yea and about me. If you haven’t figured out already I’m a dancer. I’m a dance major and I think I’m very passionate about dance, but I could always get more of a drive for it, but I have work and responsibilities and sometimes those things get in the way of my passion. Oh gosh, I feel like I’ve been rambling. I’m sorry, but yes that’s all. I hope that helped. And don’t feel rushed to help me. I know you said that you have projects for class and that makes you a little more real to me and kind of shocked because I feel a little weird about asking for the help of a stranger who could possibly be around the same age as me and go to my school. But still, thank you. Thank you, hyung. I hope to hear from you.
Wow, this guy could talk. See this is why Yoongi didn’t and probably would never do something like this face to face. Doing it this way, gives him time to think and gather his thoughts and not have to be under the watchful and hopeful eyes of his clients. He was just going to start calling them clients because honestly, he doesn’t know what else to call them. He was kind of a smartass if you asked him. He wondered if Hoseok knew him. He had said he was a dance major. Aww could someone be crushing on Hoseok? That would be adorable. But he wasn’t sure how much he hangs out with his other friends besides their group. Yoongi shouldn’t put too much thought into finding out who it was, but just the thought of helping Hoseok find love was what made him want to do this even more. Even if it doesn’t end up being that. He should ask Hoseok if there’s anyone he’s interested in.
Yoongi decided to write dancerjp59 back tomorrow. He closed his laptop, got up and went into the kitchen. Hobi was already there sitting at the table with a whole bunch of ingredients for making a cake. “Help, hyung, you said you would,” Hobi said and looked up at him with a desperate look in his eyes. Yoongi sat down next to him. “Alright, let’s get to baking,” Yoongi said.
They spent the next hour baking a cake. Yoongi didn't know how to ask Hoseok if he was crushing on someone. How does one ask their friend that? He kept looking at Hoseok every couple of minutes. He would open his mouth, like he was about to say something, but then he ended up closing it. Ah, hell, he didn't know how to ask.
"Hyung?" Hoseok said. Yoongi looked over at him. "Is there something you'd like to say? Because you've been looking like you wanted to say something for the past 15 minutes, but you haven't said a thing. You know, I'm a patient person usually, but I'm dying to know what you want to say. You've never been this quiet before?" Hoseok said.
Well, hell. Might as well ask since an opportunity just presented itself. "I was just wondering if you're interested in anyone?" Yoongi finally managed to say.
Hoseok looked shocked for a moment and then a smirk came to his face. He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at him. "Why you interested, Hyung? You offering to be my boyfriend, hm? Because you know, you are hot and all and not that I totally ever thought about going out with you, because I totally have, but I'm not sure if I could, if we should do that. You know too much of my slutty secrets. I don't think I'd be able to be in a relationship with you, with you knowing all that I have done. I wouldn't be able to look you in the eyes knowing that you know I totally sucked Taehyung's d-"
"Okay, stop that sentence right now," Yoongi yelled, "Jesus, Hoseok, I was just asking because I want you to be happy with someone if that's what you want. Not because I want to be your boyfriend because you’re right, we know too much about each other. Like exactly that fact about you and Taehyung." Yoongi smirked then.
"Plus," Yoongi said, "you're not pretty enough for me and you're too tall. I can't have my boyfriend being taller than me."
Hoseok held his hand to his chest and leaned back dramatically, like he was shot. "That hurts, hyung, that hurts," Hobi said straightening up and then, "and you're right. We know too much about each other to be totally comfortable in a relationship together. Plus, you're not slutty enough for me. I mean that one drunken night, you almost came close to being slutty enough. That stripper pole. Oh gosh, I didn't even know that you could shake your hips like that. You don't even look like you have rhythm."
"Hoseok," Yoongi said sweetly, "if you ever mention that night to anyone, you better be prepared to run or for everyone to know about you and Taehyung. Including his boyfriend."
"Hyung, I would never, spill your secret. Not purposely, probably," Hoseok said with a sly smile. Yoongi narrowed his eyes at him. Hoseok ignored him and continued, "Anyways, what brought on your sudden interest in my love life? You should worry about your own. Did you ever tell your 'short and pretty' crush that you have a crush on him, hm?"
Yoongi narrowed his eyes at him again. "Don't look at me like that," Hoseok said, "why don't you just tell Jiminie that you like him? I'm sure he wouldn't mind. He might even like you back. You never know."
"No," Yoongi said, "I'm not telling Jimin that I like him. He's too sweet for me. Plus, who would want a grump like me anyways. As all of you say, including Jimin, I'm a grumpy ‘ol party pooper. And he's basically the life of the party. I would bring down his status. I can't do that to him. I'm not as good-looking either. He deserves way better than me so, no to telling Jiminie."
"Hyung, you are your own bully, you know that," Hoseok said, sighing, "you are really good-looking by the way. I told you if not for you knowing all the slutty things I've done, I'd go out with you and you know I have standards."
Yoongi smirked. "Whatever you say, Hobi" Yoongi said shaking his head. The timer dinged just then. "Cake is ready," Hoseok said, excitedly and jumped up to open the oven. Yoongi got there before him so that Hoseok wouldn't drop it up.
Hoseok watched him taking the cake out and placing it on the table. "You never did answer my question about your sudden interest in my love life," Hoseok said. Yoongi knew he'd eventually remember. And he had been thinking about what to answer. He kind of wanted to tell him, but he didn't know what Hoseok would say. Yoongi had told him that he gives advice to people online, but he told him it was music advice, not love advice.
"Well," Yoongi started to say. Hoseok interrupted him, "Oh this is gonna be good. Let me prepare myself for this tea that is about to be split." Hoseok placed his elbows on the table and leaned his chin on his hands and looked at Yoongi with an expectant look. Yoongi groaned inwardly, already regretting his decision.
"Well, you know how I told you I give advice to people online?" Yoongi said. Hoseok nodded. "Well, I don't exactly give out music advice," Yoongi said, "I kind of give out... love advice." There it was out.
Hoseok sat up straight and looked at him for a full two seconds before he burst out laughing. Yoongi narrowed his eyes at him. He knew he shouldn't have told him. He got up to go to his room.
"No, Hyung, don't go. I'm sorry," Hoseok said and grabbed his arm to make him stay. Yoongi tried to shake him off, but Hoseok held on. "I'm sorry Hyung, it was just unexpected. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh. I know how hard it must have been to tell me. Really, I'm sorry. Please sit down and tell me."
Hoseok let go of his arm and gestured for him to sit. Yoongi stood there for a moment, debating and then sat down. He knew Hoseok would react like this, he doesn't know why he was surprised.
Neither of them said anything. Yoongi just looked at the cake. "So, you give love advice?" Hoseok asked after a moment. Yoongi shrugged. "Gosh, you're stubborn," Hoseok said, "I'm really sorry I laughed at you for that. You wanted to tell me. Please tell me and tell me why this made you think of my love life. I'm very interested. I haven't gotten laid in a while. Does it have anything to do with me getting laid?"
At this, Yoongi smiled and said, "I'm not 100% sure if it's about YOUR love life and whether or not you're going to get laid, but it just made me think about you because my new client is a dancer as well, it made me think about you. I'm not sure it's you. It's just it got me thinking. You know I love you Hobi. I just wanted to make sure you're okay."
Hoseok was smiling. "Aw, thanks, Hyung, you're such a softy. Jiminie would be lucky to have you as a boyfriend." Yoongi rolled his eyes and said, "Too bad he's not interested." It was Hoseok's turn to roll his eyes. "You just have to ask him," Hoseok said. "Not happening," Yoongi said.
Hoseok rolled his eyes again and then said, "What if it's Jimin asking you for advice?" "Not likely," Yoongi said, "I don't see Jimin asking a Love Guru for advice. He's confident enough."
"Love Guru?" Hoseok said, shocked. Yoongi looked over at him. Hoseok looked like he just realized that he had the winning lotto numbers. "What?" Yoongi asked. "You're a love guru?" Hoseok asked, excitedly. Yoongi nodded slowly. He was afraid of what Hoseok was going to say. "Are you THEE Love Guru," Hoseok said, "as in THEE SUGABEATZ, LOVE GURU!" Hoseok's voice kept getting higher in pitch. It was hurting Yoongi's ears. Yoongi nodded again. Although, what the heck did Hoseok mean about THEE love guru.
"Oh my God, I can't believe I'm friends with the love guru, sugabeatz," Hoseok said, "do you know how popular I'd be if people knew? Oh gosh, I'm in the presence of royalty. Pure love guru royalty. Do you know how many people talk about your advice chatroom? My God, you're a God amongst everyone on campus. Do you know how many people you've helped get together with the person they love? You're a fucking legend. I should bow at your feet. I can't believe I'm friends with you. Do you know that you helped Taehyung and Kookie get together?"
Yoongi was looking at the cake again while listening to Hoseok ramble about how he was some kind of God, which he definitely wasn't, when Hoseok said that he helped Tae and Kook get together. He snapped his head up and looked at Hoseok.
"You're lying," Yoongi said in disbelief. He went over to the coffee machine since it had beeped that it was done and poured himself and Hoseok a cup. As he brought them back to the table and slid Hoseok’s cup over to him. Hoseok said, "Nope, not lying. Taehyung told me about this love guru that he was getting advice from when he was trying to get Kookie's attention. He was like this guy is really good and helped me with Kook. Like he is so good, he's probs a God and has boys and girls worshipping at his feet begging him for his dick. And if I wasn't trying to get at Kook, I'd probs ask him for advice on how to get him because I'm crushing on him and I don't even know who he is. He probably has a big dick."
Yoongi choked on the coffee that he had just sipped down. Hoseok was laughing. "Oh God," Yoongi said while coughing. Hoseok thumped his hand on Yoongi's back to help him from choking. "Did he really say that?" Yoongi asked after he caught his breath. Hoseok just nodded, smiled and said, "And you'll never guess what Jimin said."
Yoongi snapped his head up to look at Hoseok. "Jimin said something?" Yoongi asked. Hoseok grinned and nodded. "What did he say?" Yoongi asked, curiously.
Hoseok grinned even wider if that was possible and said, "He said, ‘I bet he does have a big dick and I'll bet he knows exactly what to do with it. Maybe I should email him and ask him for advice.’"
Holy shit. Yoongi stopped breathing. Like legit, he felt like he stopped breathing. That was hot. Did Jimin really say that, Yoongi wondered. "Hyung? Are you okay?" Hoseok asked. Yoongi took a breath and nodded slowly. Hoseok grinned again. "Did that give you a boner?" Hoseok asked. Yoongi didn't answer because he in fact did have a boner. Hoseok grinned and said, "I'll take your silence as a yes."
"You know, I think I'll go and finish giving that song of Kookie's a listen to so that I can send it to Namjoon," Yoongi said, "goodnight Hobi." He got up and left, but not before he heard Hoseok say, "You have a good night too Hyung. Have fun with your boner and thoughts of Jiminie."
Yoongi, in fact, did not think about that because he was serious about fixing the song for Jungkook. He wanted this to be finished before tomorrow night, before the party. It was hard though because Jimin was hard not to think about. Curse, Hoseok and Taehyung. He managed to fix the song where he thought it needed fixing and sent it to Namjoon.
He closed his laptop and laid on his bed. Yoongi couldn’t believe that Jimin had said that about him. Jimin didn’t know that Yoongi was sugabeatz, but still. Jiminie, he thought and then started to fall asleep. It was interrupted by a ping on his laptop though, informing him that he had a message. He sighed and sat up.