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Chapter Text

The sky was cloudy and a few lonely raindrops hit the windshield. Judy couldn't keep herself from smiling as she breathed in the smell of rain and manure that filled the car. It was a smell she knew well. It smelt like home. On the radio a familiar guitar riff started playing.

"Oh, I love this song!" she exclaimed and raised the volume.

Nick scoffed. He had been looking out at the passing fields for several minutes, apparently not minding the strong wind on his face from the half-open window.

"You love all these hillbilly songs," he said. "We've been listening to this podunk pop for like an hour. I think it's time to change the station."

"You ain't in Zootopia anymore, city boy!" Judy said cheerfully as she patted the steering wheel in time with the music. "Country music is what the radio has to offer out here."

"Then here's an idea: how about we listen to some silence?"

"Well, aren't you grumpy. Still sad because that waitress wouldn't give you her number back there?"

Nick looked back at her with a look somewhere between offended and mortified. It was probably staged but she wasn't completely sure.

"Are you insinuating that I was flirting?" he exclaimed, a paw to his chest. "At some diner in the middle of nowhere? And more importantly: that I'm sulking?"

"Yes, yes and yes."

"I'm going to sulk even more now for that remark!"

"That's okay. You're adorable when you're grumpy."

"Now that just defeats the whole purpose."

Judy giggled and gave him the lightest of punches in the arm without taking her eyes off the road.

"Hang in there, city boy. Just half an hour left till we get to Bunnyburrow."

"Mademoiselle, that's almost 2000 seconds of empty fields, podunk pop and the smell of poo. You think I can make it?"

Judy rolled her eyes and decided to not explain the finer details of manure.

"You know, I think you secretly looove this 'podunk pop' as you like to call it," she said. "I think it's your guilty pleasure. But you believe you have to diss it to appear cool. Cool Nick can't listen to dorky music from the countryside, now can he? No, sir."

"I'm a grown fox in my thirties, Carrots. Do you really think I'd care about that?"

"Do I think you want to maintain your cool city slicker image? Yes. Yes, I do."

"Pah! Maybe I just have a more refined taste in music than you, my young friend."

"Whatever, you know you love it," she said with a wicked smile and turned up the volume even more.

"Do I know that? No. No, I-"

"Country roooadds…!" Judy sang along with the radio, staring at Nick with a huge grin.

"Oh come on…"

"Take me home…!" she bellowed to drown out any protests.

Nick groaned but couldn't hide a small smile. Judy wiggled her eyebrows at him as she kept on singing at the top of her lungs. Nick rolled his eyes back at her but couldn't hold back a laugh now.

"Oh, fine," he sighed, still smiling.

"...Bunnyburrow!" they sang together. "Mountain mama…"

They kept singing all the way to the last refrain before Judy let out an excited squeal.

"You know the lyrics!" she exclaimed, totally forgetting to put any smugness in her tone.

"Doesn't mean I like it."

"Maybe not... but I bet you do!"

"...Sometimes."

"I knew it!" Judy pumped her fist in triumph.

"Even so, it still gets kind of annoying after an hour, you know."

"Whatever you say, my country-lovin' hillbilly."

"Well, aren't you suddenly smug."

Judy snickered before she gave him a smile.

"No, just happy." she said. "I will treasure the memory of our country-singing forever."

"In secret, I hope. Don't forget, I apparently have a cool image to uphold."

"Of course. Seriously, though, shall we turn off the radio? I don't mind the silence if you mind the music."

"Nah, it's okay," he said even as he turned down the volume when the next song came on. "I'm just being sour because I haven't had my caffeine-kick yet. And I know I've said this several times now, but what kind of diner doesn't have coffee?!"

He emphasized every word of the question as he stabbed the air with his paw in frustration.

"Nice waitresses though…" Judy mumbled with a slight blush.

"Yeah…" Nick smiled at the memory. "Though let me tell you, if I actually had that waitresses' number, I would still happily trade it for a cup of coffee right now."

Judy laughed out loud.

"You sure know how to make the ladies feel special, Wilde," she said. "When we get to Bunnyburrow, I'll buy you a huge coffee and a muffin as thanks for coming along on this trip. How does that sound?"

"Almost like heaven, Carrots." Nick answered, making Judy smirk.

"You know, maybe this music is like coffee," Nick said after a moment of silence.

Judy blinked, not prepared for this unexpected comment.

"Like coffee? Because it gives me too much energy and you can't handle it?"

Nick snickered.

"That too, I guess. But no. I used to hate coffee, believe it or not.

"Say whaaaaat?"

"Oh, yes. It took years before I learned to love that sweet, bitter taste. And at first I only liked it because I associated it with hanging out with people I liked. Mom always assumed I liked coffee for example."

Judy's ears involuntarily jumped up at the mention of Nick's mother. Nick chuckled to himself, likely to the memory of many unwanted cups of coffee.

"Power of association, you know" he continued. "Drinking coffee while being happy together with someone I cared about and all that. So I guess the smell of good coffee is still the smell of good memories to me. So hey, keep this up and I might go through the same journey with country music."

He added the last part with a shrug as he leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. Judy looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"That… was in a roundabout way one of the sweetest things I have ever heard you say."

Nick laughed and bumped his paw against her shoulder.

"Sentimental bunny," he mumbled.

"Yeah, love you too, sentimental fox."

Nick chuckled and gave her a thumbs up without opening his eyes.

They fell into a comfortable silence after that. Nick had closed the window as the rain was getting more intense. In the distance, they could already see Bunnyburrow. Nick opened his mouth in a huge yawn. Another familiar country song was playing on the radio. Judy took a deep breath of the smell of home and smiled to herself.

I don't know why my brain conjured up the image of Judy and Nick singing Take Me Home, Country Roads together. But I decided to write it down, and suddenly there was all this stuff about smells, memories, friendship and coffee there too.

So apparently the Zootopian equivalent of John Denver thinks Bunnyburrow is almost heaven, rather than West Virginia. And I'm disappointed that Podunk pop apparently isn't an expression in real life.

Chapter Text

"Excuse me, do you know a fox called Nick Wilde?"

The pig ignored her question and kept walking. Judy didn't try to ask him again. A lot of people reacted like that, and by now Judy was too exhausted to really care. She kept walking down the street, her eyes darting between all the mammals that passed her. Just in case one of them happened to be a fox. The sun had sunk below the horizon and the last, lingering daylight was quickly fading, giving way to the artificial glare of street lights. Judy rubbed the exhaustion out of her eyes and took a look at the time. Only nine hours left before her morning shift started. Which meant she could still get six hours of sleep if she went home in an hour.

It had been two weeks since she last saw Nick. Two weeks since her first (and probably last) press conference. Two weeks since what Judy had come to realize was the biggest mistake of her entire life. That press conference had replayed in her mind over and over again, like an earworm she just couldn't get rid of. She had tried in vain to justify to herself what happened that day. But every day she remembered something more that went wrong that afternoon. The things she said. The questions she got asked. The look on Nick's face. She groaned as the memory of Nick's angry, disappointed face once again forced its way into her brain. She tried to shake the image from her mind and focus on her task.

"Excuse me, do you know a fox called Nick Wilde?"

The bear she asked actually stopped and looked down on her with surprise showing on his face.

"Uhm, Nick Wilde? Can't say that I do, little miss," he answered.

"Okay, thanks anyway."

The bear didn't walk away like most mammals had at that point in the conversation. His surprised expression turned into a frown that seemed to express confusion and concern at the same time.

"A friend of yours?" he asked.

Judy hesitated.

"Yes. ...For my part," she answered, her voice low as she stared down in the pavement.

"Uh, are you okay, miss? Do you need help or something?

"No, no, I'm fine, thank you! Just trying to find this… friend."

The bear just nodded, hesitated for a moment and then walked away. Judy sighed and leaned against a street light. This was a terrible way to go about it. She knew that. But all other ways had turned out to be dead ends.

It had of course been easy to find Nicholas Piberius Wilde in the system. After all, she had gone through his file before they even really knew each other. But there was not much to go on there, except for his name and shady tax returns. His last known address had led her to what appeared to be a long abandoned chop shop. There she found nothing but rusty skeletons of cars, empty mailboxes and some mammals playing cards on steel drums in the yard. She had tried to talk to them but didn't get the answers she was looking for. They hadn't heard of any Nick Wilde and they apparently knew nothing of the building they were squatting in. Nick had claimed that he knew everyone, but no one seemed to know Nick. It was as if the fox had vanished off the face of the planet.

Judy clenched her paw into a fist as she continued down the street. Why do I even care so much? she thought, even as she turned around to get a better look at a fox that of course wasn't Nick. She had only known Nick for a few days, and hadn't even liked him for a large chunk of that time. So why had she already spent more time looking for him than she had actually known him?

"Excuse me, do you know a fox called Nick Wilde?"

Her question was ignored by yet another mammal. Judy sighed and shook her head. She had so much else to focus on at the moment. She was finally getting some small degree of respect at the ZPD, and with that respect came a heavy workload. Mammals were still going savage, and more frequently too. Tensions were rising at an alarming rate. All in all, she had more important things to worry about than finding that damn fox. And still, there she was. What would she even say or do if she actually found him? She had no idea. If she actually found him, he might not even stop to listen to whatever she had to say.

It was hopeless. Judy realized that as she sat down on a bench by a bus stop to rest her feet. She would never find him like this. Maybe Nick didn't want to be found? Maybe she was just trying to fix something that simply couldn't be fixed? And maybe it was time to just quit. Give up on this obsession to find Nick again. She stared down at her paws. People always told her that she was too stubborn for her own good. Was this one of those occasions? Was it time to just accept that she messed up and move on? Accept that sometimes the damage you do is permanent. She let that thought sink in. She stroked one of her hanging ears in thought. Then she straightened up, took a deep breath and turned to the armadillo waiting for the bus next to her.

"Excuse me, do you know a fox called Nick Wilde?"

Apparently about three months pass in the movie between the press conference and Judy's return to Zootopia. My interpretation has always been that she spent the majority of that time still working as a cop and just a few days back with her family. And I wondered how she coped with it all, and what she did on her free time, during that period.

But how did she find Nick so fast later, I hear you ask. Well, she was really lucky and she had a car. That's my handwave of an explanation! Or maybe I'll have to write another piece about that.

Chapter Text

The cacophony around the old hospital of Cliffside was finally starting to die down. The helicopters circling above had been called off and sirens were no longer blaring. Anyone of sound mind in the building had been arrested, including mayor Lionheart. Paramedics were now busy trying to restrain all the missing mammals found inside the building. Judy didn't know exactly what they were doing, but was told that they had an excruciatingly hard time in there.

Judy, on the other hand, wondered if her voice was about to give up. When she had first called for backup she had been able to explain parts of the strange situation on phone. Soon after they had rendezvoused with the others and Judy had explained more right before the raid. But now, just as she was about to jump into the police car together with the arrested mayor, Bogo stopped her. He demanded that she explained every single detail she knew about this case and how she knew about that every single detail. She soon found herself surrounded by several officers that all listened intently as she explained it all from the beginning. It was a strange feeling to actually have their full attention.

At first, Judy had almost literally dragged Nick into the circle of silent cops. Nick's confrontation with Bogo in the Rainforest district was still fresh in Judy's mind. Now was the time for them to see that they hadn't just been wrong about Judy, but about Nick as well. But as he helped her explain, she soon realized that the others weren't interested in listening to him. She wasn't sure if it was because he was a fox or because it was this particular fox. So Nick soon wandered off and let Judy do the talking. Judy glanced after him as he stopped by the side of the road to gaze at the sea.

The other officers soon felt satisfied with Judy's explanation and returned to their duties. Chief Bogo remained. He stood silent, staring down the road that led back to town.

"What a mess you found, Hopps," he muttered. "The mayor… What a mess."

Judy wasn't sure if she was supposed to answer.

"At least we stopped him," she said after a moment of silence.

Bogo just grunted at that, making her regret that she even opened her mouth.

"This is far from over, Hopps. The mayor of Zootopia is under arrest and we have a whole load of predators ready for the loony bin in there. And we don't know why. This will have consequences for years to come."

Judy nodded. She hadn't really thought about the future. For the past two days her only focus had been to find Otterton and to keep her job. Everything after that had seemed impossibly far away. Two days? It didn't feel like it had only been two days. It felt as if Nick and she had been spending weeks chasing every little lead and clue they could find. For the first time in days, Judy felt tired. She shook her head and tried to rub the exhaustion out of her eyes with her paw. Then her eyes popped open again when she realized that Bogo was still talking to her.

"So anyway. You did good, Hopps. I might have… underestimated you a bit. We'll make sure to get you into the system tomorrow so you'll be able to work with your other duties."

"So, uhm… no resignation for me, sir?"

"No resignation and no parking duty. It seems you have skills that we could use more efficiently in the future. Just don't let all this get to your head. You are still a rookie. But you did exceed all of my expectations tonight."

Another officer, a huge tiger, perked her ears as Bogo was talking. She wandered up behind the chief with a smirk on her face. Judy recognized her as one of the officers who had been present when she almost lost her job in the Rainforest district.
"This is the chief trying to say that he is sorry, Hopps." she said over Bogo's shoulder. "And so am I. We all should have given you a chance."

Bogo gave the tiger a murderous glare.

"Don't you have a job to do, Fangmeyer?!" he shouted in her face.

"Going right back to it, chief," Fangmeyer answered without losing her smile.

She gave Judy a quick nod and wandered off again. Judy just blinked at the unexpected apology, not sure if she was actually ready to accept something like that yet.

Bogo muttered something before he looked at Judy again. By the look on his face it was obvious that he wasn't going to acknowledge for even a second that he had in fact tried to apologize.

"At the moment though, you will continue to work on this case," he continued as if they hadn't been interrupted. "We still got a ton of work to do here, and at some point we are going to have to talk to the media. But first off, I want you to-"

"Excuuuse me, chief," said a familiar voice behind Judy.

She couldn't keep a smile from her face as Nick stepped up next to her.

"Why, if it isn't our fox again," said Bogo with obvious disdain in his voice. "Still making a nuisance of yourself?"

"Hard for me to make myself into something I already am, huh, chief?"

Nick laughed at his own far-fetched joke and gently elbowed Judy in the side in an effort to make her laugh too. She didn't.

"Sir," she said as she put a paw on Nick's arm and tried to muster as much professionalism into her voice as possible. "I told you, Nick has been vital for-"

"What do you want, fox?" Bogo said without listening to a word Judy was saying.

"Oh, I just wanted to ask how long this is going to take. Because those 48 hours you gave officer Hopps to solve the case? We did not waste those hours on sleep, let me tell you! Admirable how Hopps here just keeps on going after all those sleepless hours, huh? But personally, I'm exhausted and would love to get some sleep."

Bogo's sour expression softened instantly. He raised his eyebrows and turned his gaze to Judy. Judy stared at Nick in with her mouth open in disbelief before she turned to meet her boss' gaze.

"Are you telling me you haven't slept for two days, Hopps?

"Actually, Nick told you that," said Judy and shot a glare directed at Nick.

"Go home, Hopps. We'll talk tomorrow. You have already provided us with the most important details anyway."

"But-"

"Now! I'm sure Fangmeyer will be happy to drive you, seeing how she suddenly seems to consider you her best buddy. Same thing for you, Wilde. We are going to want your testimony as soon as possible."

He pointed at Nick as he said the last part. Judy frowned and was tempted to point out that Nick had tried to give them his testimony several times by now. At the same time, she wondered if this was the closest chief Bogo would ever come to show something resembling respect to Nick.

Before any of them had time to say another word, Bogo turned around and walked away. Judy looked up at Nick who took off his sunglasses and gave her a smirk that looked a bit more tired than usual.

"You just told my boss that I'm sleepy and need to go to bed," she said in a neutral tone.

Nick let out a gasp of feigned offense.

"I'd never do something that condescending to you! No, I told him that I'm sleepy and need to go to bed. Are you saying that you're tired too? I had no idea."

Judy scoffed. Nick ignored her reaction and took another sip of his coffee before he continued:

"Honestly, I think the caffeine is the only thing that keeps me going at this point. And the adrenaline, I suppose."

A large yawn from the fox emphasized his point. Judy's laugh was cut short as looking into his yawning mouth made her yawn too. Nick leaned against the railing at the side of the road. Judy got up beside him and did the same.

They were silent for a few moments. Nick looked like he could fall asleep right there and then. Now that it had been pointed out to her, Judy started to really feel her exhaustion. When did she actually sleep last time? As tired as she was, a million thoughts still seemed to swim around in her head. They were all unclear though, as if her brain had decided that it would be best to take care of them another day. Political scandals, savage predators and future investigations seemed far off at the moment.

"I can't believe we actually managed to do this," she said, leaning back on the railing to stare up at the dark sky.

"I guess we make a pretty good team, huh."

"Yeah…" Judy absentmindedly grabbed Nick's coffee mug and took a sip of the now cold coffee. "We really do."

Judy was too tired to tell him about the idea that had once again popped into her head. Too tired to tell if this idea of hers was a good one or a bad one. Still, they were a good team. And Nick had told her that he at least used to dream of becoming part of something bigger. That he once dreamt of making the world into a better place. So maybe this idea of hers wasn't so-

"So, hey, can I have my coffee back, officer Thief?" Nick said, interrupting her thoughts.

"Oh, shush, let me enjoy some more of that sweet caffeine you were talking about."

"Caffeine mixed with just a dash of fox saliva."

"Makes it all the sweeter."

She gave him a smirk before she took one last sip of his coffee and handed it back. He chortled at her remark.

"I'm sure you say that to everyone you share saliva with."

"Oh, only the ones I break into abandoned asylums with."

They both laughed. A rather subdued, tired laugh. Nick put his paw on her shoulder and gave her a gentle push. Judy answered with a jab at his arm. Then they fell into a sleepy silence again.

"Seriously though, Nick," Judy said after a moment. "Thank you. Thank you for all of this. I couldn't have done any of it without you."

For the first time she thought she saw an actual, genuine smile on the fox's face.

"Any time, Judy... Any time."

"I'm sorry I dragged you into this mess though. I never thought-"

"Hey, I'm still alive and well, aren't I?"

"No thanks to me."

Nick answered with a snorting laugh.

"Don't worry about it. I think you saved me from more trouble than you got me into. And, uh, thank you too."

"What? For what?"

"For ..." Nick waved his hand at nothing in particular, trying to find the words. "I don't know. I guess it just felt good to do something important for once, you know? Make the world a better place and all that, right?"

Judy smiled back at him, a bit more confident that her idea actually was a good one. That's when Fangmeyer returned with a sheepish smile.

"Guess the chief got sick of me," she said with chuckle. "He told me to drive you guys home. You ready to go?"

"Ready as I'll ever be, officer!" Nick exclaimed and downed the last of his cold coffee.

Judy just nodded and together they followed Fangmeyer to one of the police cars. Judy turned around to take one last look at Cliffside. They had actually done it. She let out a soft laugh. They had actually cracked the case.

The longest I've been awake was for about 40 hours. I didn't collapse and I didn't have those weird insomnia hallucinations. But I sure wasn't fit to solve any missing mammal cases and arrest the mayor either.

My advice? Don't think too much about what happens when during those 48 hours Judy is given. Maybe they got some sleep after the wedding at the Bigs'? Or maybe they fell asleep at the DMV (explaining Judy's surprise at it being night)? Oh no, am I thinking too much about this right now? Maybe I just need some sleep.

Chapter Text

"Hey, my grandpa used to have one of these old things! Where did you find it, Ben?"

Judy stood on her toes so she could take a closer look at the device in Clawhauser's bookcase. Ben turned around and let out a gasp of horror when he saw what Judy was talking about.

"Don't talk about my beautiful record player that way!" he exclaimed. "She ain't some obese-etely thing from times gone by."

"Obes…?"

" Obsolete ," Nick said from Ben's couch, where he was curiously peering down into the mysterious drink Ben had given him. Ben waved away Nick's remark with one paw and lovingly stroked the record player's transparent dust cover with the other.

"Haven't you heard of the vinyl revival?" he continued. "All great musicians release their music on vinyl records these days! I have all of Gazelle's albums. You wouldn't believe the sound quality on those things!"

Judy let out a small 'huh' of surprise. She couldn't recall that she had ever heard music younger than herself played on a vinyl.

"Oh, but we have to listen to something!" Ben exclaimed enthusiastically. "You'll love the sound of this, honey bunny! It will be like pouring liquid chocolate in your ears! Except, uh, it's sound. So it's not gooey. And not-"

"I get it," Judy said with a laugh.

"You do have an interesting collection," Nick said.

He had turned his attention away from his drink and was now looking through the stacks of vinyl records in Ben's bookcase. The smile on Ben's face was full of pride.

"Why, thank you!"

"The Beagles, Jango Rainheart, Gazelle, of course," Nick mumbled as he looked through the records. "There really is something for everyone here, huh? The Firebird? Wow, I must admit I never thought you'd like something like this, Ben."

Judy didn't recognize the album Nick held up. It had a painting of a creature made out of flames on the cover. She noticed that Zootopian Philharmonics was written under the title, giving her a clue as to what kind of music it was. Ben laughed.

"Oh, that one… It isn't really mine. Or, yes, it is. But a lot of those records used to be my dad's. I don't think there was any kind of music that he didn't like. I do like most of his old records. Even though some, like The Firebird, are, uh… kinda..."

He scratched his chin, trying to find the right word.

"Interesting?" Nick offered.

"Interesting!" Ben exclaimed.

He gently picked the album out of Nick's paws and blew away a thin layer of dust. He looked at it for a few moments and chuckled to himself before he put it back.

"Dad was really the one who made me love music. We could sit entire afternoons and just listen through different records. And after he and mom divorced, the two of us would hang out at jazz clubs and go to concerts together when we met. And then, uh, you know. And then he died... And I got all of his vinyl records. Nobody else wanted them anyway."

Ben was still smiling, but Judy could see the pain in his eyes. She put a paw on his arm, even though she hardly reached up to it.

"Sounds like you two were close."

"Yeah, we were…" Ben mumbled before the smile came back into his eyes. "Anyway. He played The Firebird for me when I was like eight years old."

Nick chuckled.

"Did you, uhm, like it?"

"I hated it," Ben said with a laugh as he pulled out a record by the Beagles instead. "And dad tried to convince me that it was great. Talked about dissonance, time signatures and lots of other stuff that I didn't get at all. Dumb old cheetah..."

Ben turned on the record player and placed the record on the turntable. The melody that filled the room was familiar to them all. Ben closed his eyes with a large smile on his face and hummed along. He almost spilled his drink as he happily moved along with the music. Judy and Nick looked at each other with a smile.

"It does sound like chocolate in my ears," Judy admitted.

"The Beagles, the way they were meant to be heard," Nick said with an elegant hand gesture and a snobbish flair to his voice.

"Since when are you a sound nerd?" Judy giggled and poked him in his side.

"Ow! I'm surprised you aren't, with those large ears of yours."

"Mocking the rabbit for her ears. How original, Mr. Wilde!"

"Why thank you, Miss Hopps. I thought so too."

Their conversation pulled Ben out of his musical trance. He looked at them and let out a giggle.

"You guys are just wonderful," he said and took another sip of his drink. "Hey, how rude of me! I forgot to ask what you guys wanted to listen to!"

"The Beagles are just great," Judy smiled. "You know I love them!"

Ben nodded happily. Music was one of the things he and Judy most often talked about at work. So they already knew quite a lot about each other's taste in music.

"What about you, Nick? What kind of music do you listen to?"

"Oh, he likes lots of music," Judy interjected before Nick had time to answer. "You looove country music, don't you, Nick?"

She smirked at him. Nick gave her a warning glare, pointed at his eyes and then at her. Judy stood her ground and they stared into each other's eyes for a few moments before they burst out laughing. Ben laughed too. Judy wondered if he found something else funny in Nick and Judy's old inside joke or if he just liked to laugh when others laughed.

"Well," Nick started to actually answer the question, but was cut off again.

"And he plays the guitar!" Judy exclaimed with an excited smile.

"Nooo way!" Ben clapped his paws together in excitement. "That is so cool!"

"Yeah, but-" Nick tried to say.

"I know! I've only heard him play once, but he's really good!"

"Hey, thanks, but stop interrupting me, you cur of a bunny!" Nick exclaimed.

"You snooze, you lose, foxy!" Judy answered, lightly flicking his nose with one finger. "That goes for conversations too!"

"People will think you're my mother if you keep answering questions for me like that."

"Shush, you know you find it endearing."

"I know that I will never admit that the answer to that is yes," Nick said with proud voice and a hand on his chest.

Ben giggled happily as he poured himself some more of his homemade punch.

"It's so fun to just listen to you guys talk with each other."

"What?" Judy and Nick said at the same time, turning their attention back to the third mammal in the room.

"I mean, you two are so, what's the word… synced! There's never like a pause when you two talk. It's just nice that you two are such good friends!"

"Vitriolic best buds is the proper term, I've heard," Nick said, earning a punch in the arm from Judy. "Ow! You're just proving my point here, Carrots."

"I happen to think that our friendship is the stuff of fairy tales, Wilde," Judy said with her hands clasped over her chest.

"Full of poisoned apples, monsters and cannibalism?"

"See, this is what I mean," Ben giggled. "I just wish I had friends like you two… Uh, I mean, I do. Because I have… you two. But like… The kind of friendship you two have. Someone you know so well and have gone through so much together with. It just seems awesome."

Judy and Nick looked at each other.

"It is," Nick said without looking away from her.

"Aaaww," Judy said jokingly, even though her smile was sincere.

Ben made the same sound as Judy, except that his aaaw sounded completely sincere. When Judy looked back at him she thought she saw some of that pain in his eyes again. She wondered if Ben realized that she had seen it. Because he quickly changed back to his normal smile and spun around so he could go into his kitchen.

"You guys want donuts?!" he almost yelled from the kitchen.

"Yes, please!" Nick and Judy both replied at the same time.

They looked at each other with raised eyebrows. Judy leaned back in Ben's couch with a snorting laugh.

"I'm not sure if we sound synced or if it just sounds like we've been married for 200 years," she sighed.

T his is a chapter that might actually get a part 2! It was just fun to write about Clawhauser and how he might be a surprisingly lonely guy, so I might do some more exploring of that idea. And I like the idea that he's a huge fan of music in general.

Judy's comment about Nick loving country music is a reference to their conversation in the very first chapter of this story. The Beagles is one of the bands you can see in Judy's playlist in the beginning of the movie. Are they a pun on The Beatles or The Eagles though? Or both? Jango Rainheart is, of course, meant to be jazz guitarist Django Reinhardt.

The Firebird is a ballet by Igor Stravinsky. I do like it, but like all of Stravinsky's music, it can be a bit… challenging for people to listen through. The Infernal Dance segment is awesome though, and it is also the source for the original orchestra hit that has been sampled in countless of songs. And there's a really cool metal cover of it on Youtube!

Chapter Text

Continued from chapter 4

They stayed at Clawhauser’s place for several hours. A large part of those hours was spent drinking punch and discussing music. It seemed to be a subject that Ben would never get tired of. And he seemed excited beyond belief to have someone who didn’t get tired of him talking about it. Even though it had been a great evening, Judy and Nick were unusually quiet when they walked to the subway station together.

Nick put his paws in his pockets as they walked. There was a strange chill in the air this night, even though they were far from the climate wall to Tundra Town. He watched Judy through the corner of his eye. She seemed too preoccupied to care about the cold. He had immediately recognized the frown and unfocused look she got in her eyes when she was deep in thought.

“Enchanted feather for your thoughts, Fluff.”

Judy’s ears jerked up and she looked up at him, her head tilted in confusion.

“I didn’t get that reference,” she answered after a moment of hesitation.

Nick waved his paw dismissively with a chuckle.

“Ah, just something from that ballet Ben had. Forget it. Penny for your thoughts.”

“Oh, I’m just… I don’t know. Do you think Ben feels lonely?”

“Ah, so that’s what’s bothering you.”

“I guess it does. I just got this weird feeling. The way he talked about us two... He sounded so sad when he said that he didn’t have anything like that. And he seemed to miss his dad so much. It was just a side of Ben that I have never really seen before.”

Nick nodded and stared down at the pavement.

“Loneliness is weird,” he said in a low voice. “You don’t think sociable guys like Ben can feel lonely. But it’s really easy to be alone in a crowd. When you know everyone but no one actually knows you . That feeling of being utterly alone can really mess you up.”

Nick could feel Judy’s eyes on him while he talked, even as he looked away. The feeling of being utterly alone was something the two of them had talked about before. He suddenly felt her arm link into his.

“Hmm, what now?”

Judy shrugged with a smile when he looked down at her. Without a word she leaned her head against his arm for a few moments in something resembling half a hug. Nick chuckled and ruffled the top of her head, making her ears flop around in a way that he usually would have teased her for.

“Come on, you know I’m okay now, Carrots,” he said. “Don’t start worrying about me too.”

“I’ll worry about you as much as I want. But do you think Ben feels like that? Like you used to?”

“Maybe. I mean he has a lot of friends, but most of them are colleagues. And I’ve never heard him mention anyone specific that he’s close to.”

Judy nodded, her thoughtful frown on her face again.

“But we don’t really know, do we?” Nick added with a shrug.

Judy shook her head.

“I felt bad,” she said. “Like he was left out, because we two are closer to each other than any of us are to him.”

“Feeling guilty because the two of us are good friends? That’s a creative way to make yourself feel bad.”

“I know, I know! At first I felt bad because of that, and then I felt bad for pitying him without really knowing that much about his life. And now I feel bad for feeling bad.”

“Quite a vicious circle your thoughts formed there.”

“Hmm, maybe.”

They fell silent, both occupied by their own thoughts.

“It’s just weird,” Judy said after a minute. “I’ve known Ben for so long now, but I realized tonight that I don’t really… know him. We talk so much at work, but we’ve never really talked about personal stuff. I didn’t know anything about his childhood. Or that his dad passed away. I didn’t know anything.”

Nick just nodded. Unlike Judy, he hadn’t known Clawhauser for long. He had of course talked to him at work and spent a few lunches with him. That was about it. “Personal stuff” was also the kind of thing Nick had become something of an expert at avoiding in most conversations.

“But hey,” Nick said. “Maybe you should focus on the fact that you got to know him better tonight? Instead of bashing yourself for not knowing him quite as good before?”

“I guess that makes sense,” Judy mumbled.

“I always make sense, Carrots.”

“Oh, how I wish that were true.”

“No, you don’t.”

“No, I don’t,” she agreed.

“And maybe we’ll get to know him even better after this,” Nick said as they walked down the stairs to the station. “Personally, I wouldn’t say no to more evenings with vinyl records, donuts and punch.”

Judy laughed.

“Me neither. I guess you’re right.”

“I’m always -”

“Oh, don’t start!”

“Fine, fine,” he answered with a laugh.

They fell into another silence as they stepped out on the station platform. Nick snorted in dismay when he realized it was just as cold down there as up on the streets. Judy mumbled something under her breath about the damn cold. A sign that she wasn’t quite as troubled anymore, he thought. She was still absentmindedly holding on to his arm.

Nick looked at her and wondered if he would ever get used to this. It wasn’t that long ago that he couldn’t even imagine he’d be friends with people like Judy and Ben. Heck, it wasn’t that long ago that he assumed that the time when he had true friends were long gone. He had gotten used to that thought. The same way you get used to knowing that you are going to die one day. It’s just... there. Nothing to do about it. And then it changed after all.

“Oh, here’s my train!” Judy exclaimed, interrupting his thoughts.

“While I have to wait another three, stinkin’ minutes for mine,” Nick said and gave her a hug.

“I’ll text you to keep you entertained.”

“Officer, you are a saint. See you tomorrow!”

“Looking forward to it!” Judy said with a wave as she stepped on the train.

“Hey Judy.”

Judy spun around to face him with a quizzical look.

“Don’t lose sleep over this thing with Ben, okay?”

Judy rolled her eyes with a small smile.

“I’ll try,” she said just before the doors of the train closed and ended their conversation.

Nick smirked to himself as he watched the train leave the station. Life had sure taken an interesting turn. He leaned against one of the pillars of the station and put his paws back into his pockets to keep the cold out. Then his eyes widened in surprise when his phone rapidly buzzed twice. He took it out of his pocket to look at the two messages that he had received almost simultaneously. The first one was from Judy.

“Here’s a riddle to entertain the bored fox: What’s the difference between wearing a suit on a bicycle and wearing nothing on a unicycle? ”

The second one was from Ben, to a newly created group chat for Judy, Nick and Ben.

“We forgot to listen to Gazelle :O Let’s have a Gazelle marathon next time :D :D “

He had hardly read Ben’s message before an enthusiastic answer from Judy popped up under it. Nick laughed softly to himself. Maybe he could get used to this after all.

The answer to Judy's riddle is "attire" -rimshot-. Blame it on Nick's bad influence.

I think one of the most interesting parts of the movie is how Nick is all charming and says he knows everybody, but also doesn't let anyone close. And his line about how he thought he had found someone who actually believed in him gave me the impression that he hasn't had a close friend in a very long time. Clawhauser is more difficult to read. I think it's so interesting that he's always portrayed as the lazy, donut-munching cop. Even though one of his first lines in the movie is him indirectly pointing out that he is so much more than that.

Chapter Text

It wasn’t the first time Judy had been to the Zootopia Public Library, but it still impressed her. She stopped when she reached the center of the main hall so she could stare up in awe at the upper floors and the domed ceiling far above. She spun around to take it all in, only to have to quickly jump out of the way when a distracted elephant almost stepped on her. Judy waved away his apology with a smile and told him not to worry. Even after so many months in Zootopia, she still occasionally forgot to watch out for the largest mammals. She never understood how crushing accidents weren’t more common in this chaotic city.

The symmetrical layout of the library was supposed to make it easier to find your way. For Judy, it had the opposite effect. She knew she was supposed to climb two stairs, but after that, she was lost. She walked around at random, peering at the signs in hope that she’d find what she was looking for. The library seemed strangely deserted on this floor. For a moment, she even wondered if she had accidentally walked into some restricted area when a librarian she passed gave her an odd look. The feeling disappeared when she talked to him and the old moose was able to point her in the right direction. She soon saw a sign that read Law & Criminology and stepped through the door.

Even though the room was well-lit, the sunset that shone in through the windows gave it a strange light. Looking around, she realized that this room was almost deserted too. Apart from herself there was only one other mammal in the room. A mammal she knew well. Nick was sitting at a table, reading a book. He seemed so focused on it that he didn’t notice her. Judy looked around one last time to make sure she wouldn’t disturb anyone.

“Hey, there you are!”

“Hey, it’s officer Toot-Toots!” Nick exclaimed with a grin and put down the book.

“One day I will just turn around and walk away when you call me that,” she said even as she hugged him.

“And I will immediately regret every mean thing I’ve ever said to you and run after to beg you for forgiveness.”

“Sure you will.”

She sat down in the empty chair next to Nick’s. She curiously glanced at the book that he had left open on the table.

“So what are you reading?”

Nick closed the book and held it up so she could take a look at the cover. It was a book that Judy was all too familiar with: Criminology and criminal justice in Zootopia .

“Oh, I remember this one!” she said. “Wow, you are really taking this seriously.”

“Surprised?”

Judy didn’t want to admit that she actually was a bit surprised by Nick’s dedication. He hadn’t even been accepted into the police academy yet. His earlier hesitation and many doubts about becoming a police officer had suddenly disappeared. They had been replaced by a determination and optimism that Judy hadn’t expected from the cynical fox. She did feel both happy and rather touched by it. At the same time she couldn’t help but also worry that it would all lead to disappointment. That they wouldn’t accept a fox into the academy, despite all of his efforts. Those were concerns she didn’t want to share with him though. More pessimism and disappointment was the last thing he needed in his life. So she just answered his pointed question with a smile and took the book from his paws.

“Do you find it entertaining?” she asked with a stifled laugh. “I couldn’t stand this book after a while!”

Even with her burning passion for police work, Judy had hated that book. Far too many nights had been spent reading through that thing. Nick gave her one of his signature shrugs of confident nonchalance.

“Nah, there hasn’t really been anything new in it so far. Laws, rules, criminal justice and all that. I already know a lot of this stuff.”

“Of course you do,” she said and crossed her arms.

She knew perfectly well why Nick had such a firm grasp of the legal system.

“Tell me, have you ever considered going to art school, Carrots?”

Judy raised an eyebrow at the non-sequitur. At this point she was used to how Nick liked to talk. He would sometimes come with some comment that seemed completely unrelated to the conversation. But he always had some purpose with it. It always lead up to some point he was trying to make. What annoyed her the most was that she almost never could guess what that point was before he actually explained it.

“Can’t say that I have.”

“Ah!” he waved a finger in the air, as if he was about to share some very important piece of wisdom with her. “Well, my friend, do you know what they say in art school?”

Judy rolled her eyes at his antics and put her elbows on the table. She rested her chin on her paws and looked at him with large eyes.

“No, Mr. Wilde,” she said in a high-pitched voice. “I don’t knooow what they say in art school. What do they say in art school, Mr. Wilde?”

Nick snickered at her. He closed one eye and held out his paws towards her, thumbs together, as if he was sizing her up for a portrait.

“They saaaay,” he continued as he used his thumb to compare the length of Judy’s face with the length of her ears. “...that it’s important to know the rules. Because then…”

He finished his artist mime and held out his paws in a shrug with a smirk on his face.

“...you know how to break them effectively. And with style, I might add.”  

Judy scoffed but couldn’t help but smirk back at him.

“What an elegant way to say that you’re good at exploiting loopholes for money.”

“Ouch. These words like daggers enter in my ears!” Nick put a dramatic paw to his forehead. “Are you saying you don’t appreciate the vast knowledge and experience my shifty brain will bring to the ZPD?”

As much as they liked to tease each other, there was something in that sentence that turned her smirk into a genuine smile. Even though she was worried that he wouldn’t be accepted into the academy, she realized that she had never doubted his actual abilities. She put a paw on his arm.

“I appreciate all the wonderful and weird things in that silly brain of yours. You know I’m just teasing - you’ll be the best cop ever.”

Nick’s smirk dropped and for a moment it looked like he wasn’t completely sure he had heard her right.

“Heh, flatterer,” he said after moment and got out of his chair. “So you want to grab something to eat?”

“Only if you say something nice about my brain too, slick,” she said, going back to her teasing tone.

“Oh? Hmm... I’m sure it’s just as fluffy as the rest of you.”

He put the book back in the bookshelf while he was talking. So he wasn’t prepared when he turned around and Judy flicked his nose.

“Hey!”

“Sounds like your ‘vast knowledge’ doesn’t include how to give, or receive, compliments, mister!”

He rubbed his nose with a look of hurt on his face, even though the flick in no way could have been painful.

“Sweetheart, I’m a master of compliments.” he replied. “Just not, uh, genuine ones.”

Judy laughed as she walked past him.

“No worries,” she said and dramatically clasped her paws over her chest. “I know that deep inside you think the sweetest things of me and my wonderful brain. So sweet that you just can’t express them in words.”

“Well, aren’t you confident.”

“I don’t hear you claim that I’m wrong.”

Nick just let out a soft chuckle and wiggled his eyebrows at her.

“But yes, I do want to grab something to eat,” she added after a moment as they walked out of the room.

“Something sweet to match your sweet personality...?”

Judy’s stifled laugh turned into a strange, snorting sound.

“The master of compliments strikes again.”

“I try, Carrots. I try.”

“That’s all I ask.”

The whole thing about daggers in the ears is a quote from Hamlet. I guess Nick knows his Shakespeare.

I guess this chapter is the most “slice of life” so far. I wanted to expand more on how Nick’s street smarts would help him as a cop, or how he still has troubles getting too close emotionally. But in the end, this just turned into some randomness from their everyday life. Which is fun in itself, I guess.

It was also fun to try to imagine what a library in Zootopia would look like. Would they have to have several copies of each book in different sizes for mammals of different sizes? So maybe Nick is alone in the Law & Criminology section here because it’s actually the Law & Criminology - medium to small size section?

Chapter Text

Downpour

Nick didn't know how long he had stood there, just staring at the water. The strong wind on his face didn't bother him. Neither did the cold water drops that the wind frequently whipped up at him from the canal. Hell, he had slept through worse than this. He looked up at the gray sky and immediately got a drop of rain in his eye. He blinked it away and scoffed. Water seemed to be everywhere in the northern Canal district. Above, beneath and around. If you tried to live there (Nick actually had at one point) you'd soon get used to never being entirely dry.

He put his cold paws in his pockets. As he did, one of his paws brushed against an all too familiar object in his pocket. His paw closed around it. This was what finally motivated him to get away from the rain that was quickly getting worse. With a few quick steps he found shelter under the rusty awning of a building that probably had been abandoned for decades. He had always liked these kinds of places. There was a strange kind of peacefulness to be found amidst the emptiness and slow decay of an abandoned industrial park. He needed that solitude more than ever right now. Zootopia had always been a city of chaos and tensions. But never like this. The tensions between prey and predators were rising at an alarming rate and he had lost count of how many savage attacks there had been in just a few weeks. He just needed to get away from it all. Get away from the paranoia, the fear and the suspicious glances.

It seemed he had taken cover at the last minute. Soon the rain was thundering down with such force that the sound of water against the awning was almost deafening. Nick looked up and hoped the whole thing wouldn't collapse over him. He glanced at the rotting wooden beams that held the metal awning in place and decided that they would probably hold. Hopefully. Brushing the thought aside, he sat down, leaned back against the wall and emptied his pockets. There was not much of interest there. Some cash, his phone (dead), two rubber bands (where did they come from?) and finally, a plastic pen shaped like a carrot.

He picked up the carrot pen and let it roll over his paw. It occurred to him that it had been more important to him to keep the pen out of the rain than to keep himself out of it. He clicked it a couple of times and slowly shook his head. Dumb fox. Why did he even keep this damn thing? Wasn't he the fox who always lived in the present? And now he suddenly found himself clinging to the past in the shape of this stupid pen. Or had he always been someone who couldn't let go of the past? He didn't know anymore. Nothing really made sense anymore.

Finally, he clicked the play button on the side of the pen.

"Thank you, Nick. For everything."

He could hardly hear Judy's voice over the thundering rain. Not that he needed to. He had heard that recording a dozen times by now. The first time was when he had finally started to calm down a bit after the press conference. And when he was going to double-check that the rabbit's incriminating recording of his voice was gone, he had instead been met with that. At first, he had decided to just delete it, or throw the pen away. But for some reason, he found that he couldn't do either of those things. Instead, he had kept the pen as some kind of sad reminder of a friendship that only lasted a few days. A very intense friendship, sure. With jaguar chases, near-death experiences and plenty of emotional distress for them both. But still nothing more than a few days that in no way should have changed how he thought about his life. And yet they had.

That damn bunny had somehow managed to shake him to his very core. It wasn't just that he had gained and then lost an unlikely friend. She had also shown him a glimpse of another life. A life where the two of them fought crime and tried to do something good in this world. A life that actually sounded worth living. A life he should have known from the very beginning that he could never have. Officer Nick Wilde, fox cop at the ZPD? It was so horribly naive and moronic that he almost laughed. So why had it felt so right when she gave him that application to the police academy? Nick groaned. He was sick of these thoughts. They had been spinning around in his head for weeks now. Like a loop that he couldn't get out of. And he knew what the next step in this loop was. The step where he wondered if his life could have been different if he hadn't given up at such an early age. If he was too old and bitter to change anything at all now.

"Damn it!" he shouted. "Damn it all!"

He got back on his feet and slammed his fist into the wall, almost breaking the rotten wood.

He stared down at the pen. Then with resolute steps he walked out into the rain. He was sick of this. He didn't have time for some misguided sentimentality. He didn't have patience for loose ends and naive dreams. It was time to close this particular chapter of his life forever. Time to go back to being a sneaky, untrustworthy fox who didn't need to be part of some bloody pack. Who didn't need any friends. Time to be who he always had been.

He walked right up to the canal and raised his paw to throw the pen far out into the water. To finally get rid of the last reminder of a life he could never have. He stood there for a few moments while the rain pummeled him so hard that it almost hurt. Then he lowered his arm again. He opened his paw and looked down at the thing in his paw. Then he quickly covered it with his other paw to protect it from the rain. He swore under his breath as he walked back to the awning, paws still closed tightly around the pen. Back under his cover, he shook off as much water as he could from his fur and clothes. Then he sat down again. Looked out at the rain, pen in hand.

"Thank you, Nick. For everything."

Nick let out a sigh that he barely heard over the sound of the downpour.

For a moment I wondered if I should move this chapter and chapter 2 to their own story, since they are way more depressing than the other, mostly positive, chapters in this story. But to have a specific downer story seems like a downer in itself. So I guess this story will keep on going up and down in mood.

Being stuck in a loop of your own thoughts can be a horrible thing. I like to think that when Judy returns and he records her apology (deleting the recording in this chapter), that's when Nick finally breaks out of that vicious circle of thoughts. When he is finally able to move on.

The Canal district is apparently a part of Zootopia, adjacent to the Rainforest district. As far as I know, there's no concept art or anything for it (tell me if you know of any!). So for this, I imagined it was a partially forgotten part of Zootopia. A humid, sparsely populated place with abandoned industrial parks and neglected infrastructure. A perfect place for a depression, huh? How do you imagine it?

Chapter Text

Memory of a memory

Bit of a warning: this chapter is pretty heavy on the themes of death and grief 

Judy and Nick didn't look at each other as they walked up the short path to the house. It was late, but they could still see a faint light in one of the windows. The light would have been far too dim for Judy to have in her home, but to the foxes that mostly lived in this neighborhood, it was adequate. It made Nick remember a time when his night-vision was a great way to make ends meet by cutting down on electricity bills.

"You want me to do the talking?" Judy said. "I didn't think we'd have to do this your very first week on the force."

"Nah, don't worry about me, Carrots. It isn't the first time I've had to do this. Just the first time as a cop."

"Ah. I'm sorry to hear that."

Nick gave her a quick reassuring smile before he knocked on the door. They didn't wait more than maybe 20 seconds before the door opened, but it felt like an eternity. The fox who opened wore jeans and a t-shirt and seemed to be about the same age as Judy. At first she just looked at them and their uniforms in confusion.

"Good evening, ma'am, are you Mary Foley?" Nick asked. "Wife of Michael Foley?"

"Yes, that's-"

She suddenly stopped talking as a look of realisation and horror came over her face. She jumped back, slammed the door shut and locked it. Nick and Judy glanced at each other before Judy took a step forward and gently knocked on the door.

"Ma'am…? Please, can we come in? We need to talk to you."

"No!" they heard from the other side of the thin door. "Go away! J-just go away! I don't… I don't want to hear!"

"Ma'am-" Nick began.

"I won't open this door!" she exclaimed. "I won't open this door until-"

Her voice cracked and even through the door they could hear she was close to tears.

"...until you tell me my Michael is alright."

Judy winced, shut her eyes and leaned her forehead against the door.

"I'm sorry, Mrs Foley," she said. "We can't do that…"

The wail they heard through the door was oddly muffled. As if she kept her paws closed around her muzzle to not let too much sound out. A few seconds passed, and then the door opened again. Mary Foley looked composed, even though the street lights gave her tear-filled eyes a strange, orange glimmer. She crossed her arms, cleared her throat and stepped out of the door before either of them had time to even open their mouths.

"We'll talk outside," she said, trying and failing to keep her voice steady. "I don't… I d-don't want to wake the little one."

It wasn't the first time Nick had to tell someone their loved ones had died, but it was different this time. Before, he had always known the people involved. This time, he was a professional talking to, and about, someone he had never even heard of. And still, their story was so horribly familiar that he almost forgot that he didn't actually know anyone in the Foley family. He didn't know Michael, but he knew a lot of people just like him. And he knew that if things had gone just a bit different in his own life, he would have been Michael. A lot of the people like Michael he had known were also dead by now. And their deaths were always so… pointless. Stabbed for some spare change. Killed as one of many victims in some gang dispute. Or, in Michael's case, beaten to death by a rhino in some drug deal gone wrong.

As devastated as Mary Foley was over her husband's death, she didn't seem very surprised by it.

"What am I to do now?" she asked. "We have a child. How can I… How can we ever…?"

She stared back at the house as she spoke. Stared at the faint light in the window.

"We had dreams," she whispered. "Life was going to get better. W-we always said that. 'Life will get better, Mary', he'd say."

She hid her eyes behind her paw as she couldn't keep back the tears. For a moment, Nick was going to put a paw on her shoulder. He then decided against it, leaving his paw hanging awkwardly in the air for a few seconds. Judy, on the other hand, didn't hesitate and held on to Mary's paw. Mary gripped it so hard it looked painful.

"I'm so sorry, Mary," Nick said. "I know it might not mean much coming from some random cop, but I am."

Mary's slight nod was the only indication that she had heard what he was saying.

"He wasn't a bad sort, officers," she said. "H-he really wasn't. It's not fair. He just did what he thought he had to do. For us. It's not fair. It's not fair…"

"No," Nick said and looked up at the crescent moon. "No, it's not…"

Nick closed the door of the police car with a little more force than he had intended. He leaned back in the seat with a sigh and stared off into the distance. They had stayed at the Foley house for what felt like an eternity - until Mary's brother arrived to stay with her. Mary had hugged the two police officers when they said goodbye. Nick took a deep breath and closed his eyes, only to immediately open them again as the other door of the car opened. Judy jumped into the driver's seat and closed the door more gingerly than he had. She didn't start the car and didn't look at him. She just stared off into the distance the same way he did.

"You okay?" she asked after several seconds of silence.

Nick finally turned to look at her and gave her a faint smile.

"No," he said. "But I will be. What about you?"

Judy shrugged.

"Same, I guess. I just… I don't think I can ever get used to this."

"A good sign, I think."

"Maybe," she said with a sigh and started up the car.

Nick looked out the window at the tiny house. The single, dim lamp was still shining from one of the windows. From the outside, no one could tell something was off in there. He could hear Judy talk on the radio as they drove away, but he didn't really pick out any words. A small part of his brain also reminded him that he was probably the one that was supposed to be doing that.

"I think," he said as silence filled the car once again, "that I want to go back there in the future and check up on them."

Judy glanced at him for a moment before turning her attention back to the road.

"Sure, we could do that," she said. "Or did you mean by yourself?"

"No. Or, I'm not sure yet. I just want to make sure they'll be okay."

Judy nodded. When Nick looked out the side window again he suddenly felt a paw on his shoulder. He turned his head to see that Judy was still focusing on the road even as she gave his shoulder a small squeeze. He put his paw over hers for a brief moment before she put it back on the steering wheel.

"You did real good back there, Nick," she said. "Better than I ever have in that situation."

Nick just nodded, thinking that he would probably appreciate the praise more the next day.

"She just reminded me of… someone."

Nick said it so quietly that even Judy's sensitive ears twitched a little to pick up what he was saying. She sighed and for a few moments their eyes met.

"Oh, Nick…" was all she said.

It was one of those memories Nick sometimes wished he could just erase from his mind. He had been so young when it happened that it had been twisted and distorted with time. Now, over 25 years later, it felt more like a distant dream - a memory of a memory. But it had been night, just like now. He knew that. And a ringing phone had woken him up. His home had looked so different in the dark. The doors and the walls had seemed larger and strangely threatening. The moonlight that shone through the windows had cast weird shadows on the floor. And he had heard her crying in the kitchen. The subdued, quiet crying of someone who doesn't want to bother anyone with their grief. Even now, his memory had a hard time differentiating between the face of Mary Foley and the face of his then very young mother.

"It's not fair. It's not fair."

She had repeated that over and over again to herself until she saw him standing in the doorway. Then she picked him up and held him close. But he could still hear her whispering it to herself as the fur on his head got wet from her tears. And Nick remembered how scared he had been. How he even at that young age had realized that nothing would ever be the same again.

He shook off the memory with an exaggerated yawn and checked the time on his phone.

"Hmm, we'll be able to wrap this shift up soon. You want to grab a coffee before you go home?"

Judy gave him a tiny smile.

"Coffee? It's past midnight, you know."

"Ah, that's true," he said with a low, snorting kind of laugh. "Never mind then."

He casually waved with his paw. Then it fell to his side as he once again got lost in his own thoughts. But even as he thought of these memories of memories he could feel Judy's eyes watching him.

"Soooo I'll just have some tea," she said, interrupting his train of thoughts. "You know of any place that is open at this time?"

For the first time in several hours, Nick felt that his smile wasn't forced.

"Of course I do," he said with a wink. "I even know of a place with some great carrot cake."

"You don't have to mention their carrot cake every time we go to a new place, you know."

"But I don't do it because you're a rabbit, I do it because you love carrot cake! You just don't like to admit it."

"Fine, you're right!" she exclaimed. "I'll have some carrot cake then, but you can pay for it."

"Sounds great," Nick said with a chuckle. "And… uh, thank you."

Judy glanced at him with a smile and bumped her fist against his shoulder.

"Thank you too, officer," she said.

Even though I just wrote a whole chapter about it, I can't even begin to imagine what it's like to have a job where you sometimes have to deliver the news of someone's death. All respect to those of you who have to do this.

It's always interesting to see people's different takes on Nick's past and his parents in fan works. From kind of okay to really, freaking dark. While I still wanted to be kind of vague about it, I obviously lean more to the dark side when it comes to poor Nick and his past.

This story was very much inspired by the song The Fields of Athenry. The song is about Michael, an Irish man during the Great Famine, who is sentenced to be shipped off to the Australian penal colony, and his lover, Mary, who is left alone with their child back in Ireland. It's one of the saddest songs I know with its themes of helplessness, loneliness and the unfairness of life.

Chapter Text

“Whatever happened to that jaguar-”

“-the traffic cams would’ve caught it!” Judy exclaimed, realizing what Nick was getting at.

“Bingo!”

Only minutes had passed since Judy almost lost her job. Chief Bogo had demanded that she hand over her badge and Nick was the only reason she hadn’t. Then Nick had told her one, single story from his childhood and it made Judy almost forget about both her job and the case they were on. But now it all came back to her when Nick pointed out that the lead they were looking for might have been recorded by the traffic cameras. They still had a chance. Judy let out a laugh of both joy and relief and gently punched the fox in the arm.

“Pretty sneaky, slick!” she exclaimed.

“However…” Nick said, his excited smile replaced by a frown. “If you didn’t have access to the system before, I doubt chief Buffalo-Butt is going to let you into it now.”

“No…”

Judy frowned as she realized he was right. Then her eyes widened as an idea jumped into her mind before she even had time to lose hope. The ZPD weren’t the only people in this city who had access to the traffic cameras.

“...but I have a friend at city hall who might!”

Judy was slowly starting to lose that sense of hopelessness she had felt down in the darkness of the Rainforest district. She took a deep breath of the humid morning air that rose from rainforest below them and wondered if she would ever get used to this view. The skyline of central Zootopia was gleaming in the rising sun, even as most of the city still lay in shadows. By now, Judy had seen more of Zootopia’s darker sides than she even knew existed. But watching the sun rise over the city from the old gondola lift gave her renewed hope for the strange and beautiful city. She was so wrapped up in her own thoughts and the amazing view that she didn’t catch what Nick said to her.

“Hmm?”

“I said: what friend?”

“Oh! Assistant mayor Bellweather!”

Nick let out a short, surprised laugh.

“You know the assistant mayor of Zootopia?”

Judy turned away from the view. She put a paw on her hip, leaned closer to the fox and gave him a crooked smile.

“I know everybody.”

Nick looked slightly confused for a second before he realized she was quoting him. Then he laughed. It was a soft kind of laugh that she hadn’t really heard from him before. Judy tried to hold back her own laugh but it came out anyway. In the form of an undignified snort.

“Good to know,” he said. “And how do you know her?”

“Oh, she’s great! Both she and mayor Lionheart were there at my graduation. Talking about the Mammal Inclusion Initiative and all that, you know. Bellweather was the one who gave me my badge.”

She smiled softly at the memory before she continued.

“I mean, the mayor is great too, but he doesn’t really seem…”

Judy hesitated as she tried to find the right word to describe the lion. She did respect him in many ways (he was the reason she could become a cop at all, after all), but in other ways she did not respect him at all.

“...sincere, I guess? ” she continued. “But Bellweather is different. She’s been really supportive of me becoming a cop all the way.”

Judy’s smile faded as she realized how few mammals she could say that about. In fact, Bellweather was the only one she could think of. Her parents were supportive in their own way, of course. In the we love you even though you’re wrong kind of way. And while she had expected that it would take time for some at the ZPD to accept her, she hadn’t expected… this. She hadn’t expected her boss to not believe her story even when she had witnesses. She hadn’t expected him to try fire her twice in just a few days.

“In fact,” she continued in a lower tone. “Bellweather kind of already saved my career once this week.”

She let out a nervous laugh and ran her paw through the fur on the top of her head. It was a habitual thing she sometimes did to make her ears lie flat against her back. Of course, this time they were already doing that.

“A-and you just saved it too,” she continued with a weak smile.

Nick looked at her but didn’t say anything.

“Wow, I sure didn’t expect I’d need so much saving my very first week on the force…” she finished.

That hope she had been filled with just moments ago suddenly seemed far away again. Nick opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again before any sound came out. He scratched his muzzle and took a breath.  

“Do you… really want this, Hopps?”

Judy jerked her head in his direction at the sudden question. Nick looked away before their eyes actually met, but she hadn’t missed that look on his face. Was that actually concern she had seen? A few hours ago, she would have assumed that he didn’t even know the meaning of that word. Then she had gradually seen that he wasn’t quite as much of a jerk as she first had assumed. And in the last ten minutes, everything she thought she had known about the fox had changed.

“W-what do you mean?” she said.

“I mean, even if we do pull this off, do you really want to keep working for that ass of a chief and his stooges?”

“Well, I-I…” Judy tugged at one of her ears as she tried to come up with a good answer. “It will be different then! I just need to prove to them that I can… That I am…”

Nick sighed, which was enough to make Judy fall quiet.

“You will have to prove yourself to them for the rest of your life, Carrots. They will never let you forget that you are just a bunny. You did something wrong? Of course you did, you are just a bunny ! Oh, wait, you did something right? Even though you are just a bunny!”

As harsh as Nick’s words sounded, Judy couldn’t help but smile a little over the way he snorted and did air quotes with his fingers every time he said ‘just a bunny’. She wondered if he would’ve done that even half an hour ago. Nick let out another deep sigh and leaned against the railing of the gondola once again.

“Do you really want that?” he muttered after a moment.

His tired eyes stared off at the horizon, and the look on his face reminded Judy of what he had said just a few minutes ago. If the world’s only going to see a fox as shifty and untrustworthy, there’s no point in trying to be anything else. She leaned against the railing and looked at the horizon too. What did she want?  

They didn’t speak for almost a minute. The thick smell of the rainforest was starting to fade as the gondola continued its slow but steady journey towards the city centre. Judy held her paw against the badge on her chest.

“This is the only thing I’ve ever wanted,” she whispered. “The only thing I’ve ever dreamed of.”

Nick glanced at her but didn’t say anything. Judy’s grip around her badge tightened. She couldn’t give up now.

“If I have to prove them wrong for the rest of my life, then that’s what I’ll do,” she said from between clenched teeth.

She expected him to come with some sarcastic comment about her stubbornness, but Nick just stood there with a thoughtful, almost sad, look on his face.

“You can’t change them, Hopps,” he said softly.

Judy rested her chin against her arms on the railing.

“You think so?” she mumbled.

Nick didn't answer but just stared up at the hazy clouds far above them.

“I mean...” she continued, fidgeting with one of her ears as a small smile crept to her face. “You seem to have changed your opinion of me… A little?”

Nick finally turned his head to meet her gaze. For a moment he looked genuinely surprised. Then he let out that soft chuckle again.

“I, uh, I guess I have. I mean, yesterday I didn’t expect some country bunny in a clown vest to save my life.”

“Hah, and this country bunny sure didn’t expect some slick Nick to talk back to chief Bogo to, uh, to help me and to save my job...”

The teasing tone in Judy’s voice cracked halfway through the sentence as she once again realized the significance of what Nick had done back there.

“Thanks again for that,” she added quietly.

“Come on, you saved my life back there. Telling Buffalo-Butt things he already knows doesn’t seem like a big deal compared to that.”

Judy smiled.

“It is a big deal… to me.”

“Well… and my life is kind of a big deal to me. So thank you too.”

Judy punched his arm again, but so gently that he hardly seemed to notice it.

“You’re welcome,” she mumbled.  

“I still think you’re a dumb bunny though,” Nick added with a finger in the air and a smile that was more teasing than smug. “A dumb bunny who saved my life.”

Judy couldn’t help but laugh.

“And I still think you’re a jerk,” she answered. “A jerk who saved my career.”  

Nick’s laugh was just an unusually sharp and loud exhale.

“Don’t praise this jerk yet, rabbit. We still have some jam cam recordings to look at.”

Judy nodded with a grin and looked at the distant city hall that was getting closer every minute.

So far, Zootopia hadn’t been at all what Judy had expected. The city had been different from what she had hoped for - her jobb different from what she had dreamed of. She glanced over at Nick, realizing that the mammals too were quite different from what she had expected.

Wow, it was really difficult to try to write an extension of the movie’s gondola lift scene. I mean, at that point in the story, Nick and Judy are just starting to show some respect and understanding for each other. Nick has seen what Judy is capable of and Judy has learned more about why Nick is the way he is. But they still have quite the way to go. So it was really hard to find a good balance in their dialogue.

As for character development in the movie, I love how Nick doesn’t trust Judy to do anything right when they get to the Big’s estate. But then, when Manchas goes savage, he seems to completely trust that she has a better grip of the situation than he does.

Chapter Text

"Hey, look! They have chessboards here!"

Judy clasped her paws over her mouth as she realized how loud she was and remembered that they were in fact in a library. She looked around to spot any glares directed at her but no one seemed to have minded her sudden outburst.

"They have chessboards," she repeated in much quieter voice, answering Nick's pointed smile with a sheepish grin. "I haven't played chess in years. Do you know how to play?"

"Sure do," Nick answered with his usual, confident smile.

"You want to play a game before we go eat?"

"Hey, why not," he said with a shrug. "I haven't played it in years either."

They walked past a couple of giant chessboards meant for the largest of mammals until they reached the corner where a couple of boards more suited to their size stood.

"It's been so long since I played. I'm a bit fuzzy on the details."

"Well, you are the fuzz here after all," Nick said and chuckled to himself. "Fluff the fuzzy fuzz."

Judy rolled her eyes.

"I hope you will stop calling me 'a fuzz' when you're a cop yourself!"

"Of course. That's why I make sure to enjoy calling you that now while I'm still a lowly civilian."

Judy sat down by one of the boards and immediately started arranging the pieces to prepare for a new game. Nick slouched into the chair opposite her and helped her, though in a much slower pace. Judy's paw paused in the air right as she was about to pick up a rook.

"Hey, wait," she said. "How good are you at this game? It would be just like you to pretend you barely know it and then reveal you are some kind of chess champion. Just so you can utterly humiliate me!"

Nick laughed and put a paw on his chest.

"It's just like me to be both humble and incredibly talented? Why, Carrots, that's one of the nicest things you have ever said to me."

The pawn in Judy's paw was the last piece that remained before the board was set. She took the opportunity to start the game with it and put it down with some force to emphasize her scoff.

"I have another compliment for you, slick: you are a masterful twister of words," she said with a paw over her heart, this time to emphasize her sarcasm.

Nick chuckled and answered with an identical move with one of his pawns. Judy took a moment to think before she picked up one of her knights. She paused. For some reason she wasn't sure how the knight moved. She put it down on the board again and glanced up at Nick who didn't seem to react to her move. So she assumed she had remembered it correctly.

"I think I was like 13 the last time I played this," she said. "Two of my older siblings taught it to some of us younger kids before we even started school. They thought it was very important that we knew how to play for some reason. And then we even had a chess championship for everyone at my school."

"Huh, nothing they'd ever have in the schools I went to."

"I suspected as much," Judy said with a low sigh, her gaze following Nick's paw as he picked up another pawn. "Not sure how common that is even in, uh, decent schools."

Nick raised his eyebrows with an amused snort. They had known each other for almost a year now. During that time, Nick had gradually opened up more and more about his past to her. When Nick first told her he had started hustling when he was twelve, she hadn't had the faintest idea how such a thing would even be possible. Then he told her a couple of stories from his life and she understood all too well.

"How did you learn it then?" she said.

Nick frowned when Judy captured one of his knights before he answered.

"Well, while you stopped playing when you were 13, I actually didn't learn it until I was maybe… hmm, 15, I think."

"Oh? How did that happen?"

Nick picked up a bishop, his eyes darting around the board.

"Aaand checkmate," he said as he put it down on a white square.

"WHAT?"

Judy forgot to be quiet again as she stared at the board in confusion for a few seconds.

"Just kidding. Your turn, sweetheart."

The smirk he gave her was even more smug than usual. Judy answered with a glare and was tempted to give him a kick under the table.

"It's kind of a strange story," he said, continuing their earlier conversation as if nothing had interrupted it.

"A strange chess story...?"

"You know me. Even asking about popsicles will take you to strange places."

He said it with a shrug and a smile. Judy smiled too, at the memories his comment brought back, but frowned when she noticed there was a certain pain in his eyes.

"We can just drop it if you want," she said, but Nick just shook his head.

"No, it's okay. You see, I didn't go much to school by that point. Or well, not at all, really. And mom was… well, suffice to say that I spent most of my days on the street."

Judy didn't interrupt him. She knew a lot about Nick's past by now, but large parts of it was still a mystery to her.

"And that's where I really get to know people," he continued. "There are a lot of mammals who slip between the cracks in this city. Good ones, bad ones, weird ones. All kinds. And while school wasn't my thing, I still wanted to learn. So I found new teachers. Hah, big mistake!"

It took a moment for Judy to realize that the last part wasn't part of his story. She had been so distracted that she didn't pay attention when she moved her rook. Now Nick captured it with his remaining knight, and let out a dramatic, evil cackle.

"Drat!" she exclaimed. "Okay, so you found someone on the street who decided to teach you chess of all things?"

"Three of them actually. A jaguar, a wolf and a fox. Graeme, Jimmy and Jenny. They weren't what you'd call decent mammals. I mean, the first time I met them, they were busy getting drunk on moonshine to celebrate a successful smash and grab they had pulled off. But they were nice to me. Most of the time."

Nick added the last sentence in a lower tone. If Judy didn't know the fox the way she did, she probably wouldn't have noticed the subtle change in his expression.

"It took me a while to realize they were dealing drugs too," he continued. "They didn't want me to be part of that. They thought it was better the less I knew. Besides, they had other uses for me."

"Uses?"

"Run errands, keep a lookout, pass along messages. Stuff like that. Then they'd give me some money or food for the trouble. I had deals like that with a lot of people back then, before I learned to really just rely on myself."

Judy rubbed her paws against her temples. She had once seen a photo of Nick as a teenager. It was hard to imagine that the young boy in that photo had already gone through so much.

"And they… these drug-dealers that used you when you were just a kid, taught you chess?"

"Told you it was a weird story. They were obsessed with it. There's a park near Nutcracker alley where they used to hang out and play for hours and hours. Then I mentioned to them that I didn't know how to play…"

He shook his head and chuckled at the memory before he continued.

"Graeme was so upset about that, he actually gave me a black eye. Then Jimmy gave him two black eyes for punching a kid. Then we all reconciled and they decided to teach me the game. And… well, here we are!"

"Sweet cheeses… He punched you because you didn't know how to play chess?!"

"People have tried to punch me for a lot less than that, Carrots. But yes, he did. Being punched by a jaguar sure hurts like hell. Check by the way."

Judy moved her king to safety without even looking down at the board. She was just staring at Nick. He didn't look fazed at all by his own story. But then she saw a small frown on his face and heard a gentle sigh.

"They weren't as bad as I make them sound," he said quietly. "They had all been like me when they were young. So even though they were a violent, nasty bunch, they understood. They helped me survive."

Judy nodded, trying to get a grip of what sounded like a very complicated set of relationships.

"Do you still keep in touch with them?"

"Oh, no no, they were all gone within a few years."

"Gone? You mean dead?!"

He nodded.

"Oh yes, they didn't just teach me chess," he said. "They taught me that death is never far away for mammals like us. And that no one will ever care when lowlifes like us get ourselves killed."

He leaned back in his chair with a sigh. For a moment he seemed to be lost in memories. Judy didn't say anything. It wasn't really sadness she saw on his face. It was more like resignation. He quickly snapped out of it though, and returned to his casual, conversational tone.

"That's one of the reasons I choose to stick to just hustles and the like, you know. I've no desire to see the insides of a coffin, or a prison, if I can avoid it. A lot of the friends I had back then ended up in one or the other."

"I'm…" Judy wasn't even sure what she was going to say when she opened her mouth. "I'm so sorry to hear that, Nick."

Nick did as he often did and just shrugged and gave a casual wave with his paw, as if the topic was a bad smell hanging in the air.

"Ah, don't worry about it. I haven't had to go to a funeral in ages now."

Judy just nodded, thoughts spinning through her head. They kept playing in silence for a while as she digested all that Nick had just told her.

"Thank you," she said after a while. "For telling me."

"Hey, it's only fair. You told me how you learned chess... "

"You know what I mean."

Nick captured a pawn with his queen before he carefully glanced up at her.

"You're welcome," he mumbled.

Judy slowly shook her head.

"I guess I just never get used to these stories of yours," she said quietly.

"That's why I usually don't tell them."

She sighed and moved her bishop.

"I don't want you to feel like that. It's not that I don't want you to tell them or that I don't want to know."

"I know."

"I want to hear about you and your past. It's just… I just…"

"I know."

She looked up from the board. For a few seconds they just looked at each other. Judy didn't look away until her eyes were drawn back to the chessboard when Nick moved a pawn.

"You're like the only person I feel comfortable talking about these things at all with. You know that, right?" he said.

"I know."

Nick let out a scoff at how she echoed him but still smiled. They enjoyed the comfortable silence between them for a moment before Nick let out a soft laugh.

"Things sure have changed since we first met, huh?"

"Yeah… And I'm glad they did!"

"So am I, Carrots. So am I."

Judy grinned and held out her fist above the chessboard. She had intended for him to bump his fist against hers as they often did. Instead he reached out his paw and gently squeezed her fist for a moment. Then he took a deep breath and looked down at the board again.

"It's your turn, you know," he said.

Judy blinked in confusion for a moment before she lowered her arm again. She had almost started to laugh at his sudden tenderness, just because she hadn't expected it. But she held it back. She couldn't say the same about her smile. Nick smiled too, even though he was no longer looking directly at her. Then his smile turned into a frown before it finally changed to a look of horror when Judy finally made her move and captured his queen with a knight.

"No! How did I miss that?!" he exclaimed.

"Haha! Why, it seems the hunter has become the hunted."

"Wow. How long have you waited for an opportunity to use that cheesy line?"

"Longer than I care to admit."

They both chuckled.

"Your turn," Judy said with a smug smile. "So what are you going to do now, Mr Wilde?"

Nick put a finger to his muzzle and looked like he was deep in thought. Or rather, like he tried to look like someone deep in thought.

"Well," he said slowly and reached for his remaining bishop. "I guess the only thing I can do now is… to win the game. Checkmate!"

Judy felt her ears fall as she realized he wasn't joking this time. Her eyes darted across the board in an effort to understand how he had beaten her.

"What the… h-how?" she stammered before she gasped in realization. "You… You wanted me to go for the queen! Ugh, and I actually fell for it! Damn you, Wilde!"

Her voice was just a hiss now as she tried to remember to keep her voice down even in defeat. Nick held out his paws with self-satisfied grin.

"It's called a-"

"Don't!" she exclaimed, holding up a warning finger. "Don't. You planned this all along, didn't you? I knew you were hiding how good you are, you liar!"

"Just because I won over you once doesn't mean I'm some kind of chess master, Carrots."

Judy narrowed her eyes, unsure whether she should believe him or not. She knew Nick found a strange joy in this kind of wordplay. It was true that one win didn't mean he was a chess master. But it also didn't mean he wasn't one.

"You know this means we'll have to keep playing chess until I win too, right?"

"Why, surely you're not saying that officer Hopps has a competitive side?" Nick said with a teasing smile as he wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Judy scoffed and jumped out of her chair.

"Oh shush. I'm too hungry for another game right now," she said. "But next time we're playing chess…! Then I'll beat your furry butt and wipe that smug grin off your face!"

"Wow, has anyone ever told you you're a very sore loser, Carrots?" Nick said as he followed her towards the exit.

"Yes, you have. And I'm not a sore loser. I just don't know when to give up."

"Sure, sure."

"Thanks for playing with me though," she added.

Nick seemed to understand that she was thanking him for more than just the game of chess, as he just answered with a gentle smile.

"We can make this into a tradition," he said after a moment, his smile turning more teasing. "We play chess. I get some free therapy. You learn to accept that you are in fact a sore loser."

Judy gave him a gentle jab in the arm. Nick answered by putting a paw on her shoulder to give her an equally gentle push. Judy tackled him back. They kept trading these gentle blows and tackles as they walked out of the library together.

Hope this chapter was enjoyable even if you don't know how to play chess! Even though this chapter is stand-alone, it takes place about two minutes after chapter 6, as they're leaving the Zootopia Public Library. Actually, how common is it with chessboards in libraries where you live? I feel like it used to be really common where I live, but now I don't see it as often.

I always felt that one of Nick's greatest strengths as a cop would be that he has another kind of understanding for many of the mammals they would meet in their line of work. It was really tricky to get across that Graeme, Jimmy and Jenny were really problematic and abusive characters that Nick still remembers with a certain degree of fondness. One thing I love with Zootopia is how just about all characters have both good and bad sides.

Chapter Text

“This is your home?” Judy asked.

The hallway they were walking through looked more like a maintenance tunnel than anywhere mammals would choose to live. Just getting down below street level on the rickety staircase had been difficult with Judy’s leg.

“Ah, ah!” Nick said, wagging a finger at her. “These coming days, this is your home, Carrots!”

Judy gave him a pointed smile, well aware that he had dodged her question. Just like he had done every time she had asked about his living arrangements. She didn’t know why he was so private about it, and it just made her even more curious.

Not that it really mattered. Nick had been the only one who had been there to help her, despite the fact that she suddenly was called “The hero of Zootopia”. Politicians, police officers and journalists had all been very eager to talk with her. But Nick was the only one who had actually asked if she needed help after she got out of the hospital. The only one who had stayed close during her entire stay there. Even now, she could feel his paw hovering in the air just behind her. Ready to support her at any moment, even though she could walk just fine with her crutch. Her leg still hurt like hell though, now that she neither had adrenaline nor morphine coursing through her body.

Part of her felt like she really had been a dumb bunny when she completely cut all her ties to Zootopia. She had resigned from the ZPD, taken whatever vacation days she had available and given the keys back to her landlady. And then she had just left. Gone back to Bunnyburrow, thinking that she would spend the rest of her life as a depressed failure. Of course, at that point she didn’t think she could do anything at all about the situation. She didn’t think she’d ever be back in this city. Then suddenly she could and she was. And just as suddenly, she had found herself at the hospital - conspiracy uncovered, case cracked and leg ripped open. She had been in a lot of pain, had talked to a lot of people and had been through a rather confusing couple of days all in all. That’s when Nick had offered her a place to stay until she got things together again. She had noticed that he had been very careful to avoid calling it his “home”, even though it obviously was where he was going to sleep too.

“And here we are,” Nick said as he opened the door, accompanied with an elegant gesture with the other paw. “My basement is your basement as they say.”

“As no one says,” Judy said with an amused snort as she limped past the fox.

She stopped when Nick closed the door behind them and leaned on her crutch to take it all in. Not that there was much to take in there. The room was larger than the one she had had until recently, but it still managed to feel even more cramped. Judy’s sense of smell wasn’t the greatest, but even she could tell that Nick wasn’t the only mammal who had been there recently. Three small windows near the ceiling let in a tiny amount of daylight from the street above. It wasn’t until Nick switched on the light bulb hanging from the ceiling that she could see that one of the walls had been converted into a small kitchen. She also saw that there was a couch.

“Oh, sweet relief!” she exclaimed and hurried over to the couch as fast as her aching leg would permit.

It took some effort, but she managed to get into the couch, ignoring Nick’s chuckles behind her. She laid out her leg across the couch with a sigh of relief.

“Coffee?” Nick asked.

“Sounds great,” Judy sighed with closed eyes. “Drat, I’m sick of this.”

The cut hadn’t been quite as bad as she had first feared. The doctor had told her that there would be no permanent damage and that she should be able to walk without the crutch in no time. He had also added (in a far too amused tone) that she should take a certain pride in being the first mammal in millennia that had been mauled by a mammoth. Judy suspected that she would see the humor in that when she could actually walk properly again.

She opened her eyes again when she heard Nick open a cabinet door in the tiny kitchen.

“So, uh, where will I be sleeping exactly?” she said, eyes darting around the dim basement.

“Right where you are sitting.”

“Ah, sounds good. And where will you be sleeping?”

“In the bed!”

It took Judy a moment to even understand what he was pointing at. Then she saw the cramped loft. A curious feature in room that in itself was cramped. It looked like it was meant more as an extra shelf, but with an unreasonably thin mattress and several blankets it had been turned into a makeshift bed.

“Usually I would offer the bed to distinguished guests of the ZPD, such as yourself, but I thought you’d appreciate the non-climbing alternative more.”

Judy chortled and gave him a thumbs-up. The “bed” didn’t look half as comfortable as the couch anyway. Then she fell quiet as she thought of Nick’s remark about the ZPD.

“I still can’t believe I got my job back,” she mumbled.

“I can,” Nick replied as he stood on his toes to reach an old tin jar that Judy presumed contained coffee. She narrowed her eyes and wondered just why the coffee was so inconveniently placed for the coffee-addicted fox. It once again made her wonder what kind of place this basement actually was and if Nick actually lived there.

“I mean,” he continued before he had to pause as he nearly lost his balance before he managed to get hold of the jar. “I mean, Chief Buffalo-Butt isn’t keen on losing face. Looks better if it was one of his officers who cracked the case, right? He doesn’t have to admit he had been wrong all the time. And you were gone for, what, like a week? I bet your resignation hadn’t even officially gone through yet, am I right?”

“Well, no... Kind of. But-”

“So you didn’t get your job back - you never really quit it!”

Judy thought it over for a few seconds before she just laughed as she shook her head.

“It takes some mental gymnastics to reach that conclusion, but sure. I like that.

“Of course you do,” Nick concluded with a grin as he poured water into the coffee pot.

Their conversation came to a rest there. Neither of them minded the silence. Judy smiled for a moment when she realized that during the entire time they had known each other, there had hardly been any quiet moments at all. Even so, it still felt strangely natural.

Her eyes wandered across the room once again. At the rows of ties that hanged from a clothes line suspended over the bathroom door and the coffee table made out of cinder blocks. At one point before she decided to quit the ZPD, Judy had tried and failed to track Nick down. The only address she had was from his dodgy tax form. 1955 Cypress Grove Lane, however had turned out to be what looked like an abandoned chop shop. A lot of dust and rusty skeletons of cars, but no trace of Nick or anyone who even knew a Nick. And now this place. It reminded her that there was so much about Nick that she still didn’t know, including the exact details of how he lived. Whenever they talked, she quickly forgot that they hadn’t actually known each other for that long.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she noticed the large pot on a stool next to her. Curiosity made her forget the pain and she leaned over the edge of the couch to peer into the pot. It was halfway full with water.  

“Hey, Nick,” she said. “Why is there a pot o-”

She shrieked in surprise when an icy cold drop of water landed between her ears.

“Seems like you found the answer to your question,” Nick said with an amused grin.

Judy leaned back in the couch again with an annoyed huff. She glanced up at the maze of pipes running along the low ceiling. Several layers of duct tape had been wrapped tightly around the pipe right above her, but it still let the occasional drop of water through. With one paw she wiped the water off her head. When Nick turned his attention back to the kitchen, she took the opportunity to carefully smell her damp paw. To her relief, the water seemed clean and free of weird smells.

“Why do you live like this?” she finally said.

“Like how?”

“Like this. In a cellar with leaking pipes, run-down furniture and from what I can tell, no heating.”

“Do you wish to register a complaint, mademoiselle? Are the lodgings not to your liking?”

Judy’s eyes widened when she realized how she must have sounded.

“Oh, uh, no, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it like that, I was just curious. Trust me, I’m really, really grateful that you’re letting me stay here! I guess I just thought you’d live in a different kind of place.”

“Why, officer Hopps, you say that as if I had a choice!”

“But you do, don’t you?”

Nick turned around and gazed at her quietly with a questioning frown. Just drop it, Judy thought, but in the very next moment she heard herself talking again.

“Didn’t you earn 200 bucks a day, Fluff?” she continued, imitating Nick’s voice with a crooked smile. “Since you were twelve? I mean, that’s more than I earn, and I actually pay my taxes. And I still lived better than this. What do you actually do with all that money?”

Nick’s mouth stretched into a smile for a second when she used his nickname for her the other way around. Then it disappeared again. He turned back to the coffee machine and held up a finger in the air.

“Money doesn’t buy you happiness, my friend.”

Judy rolled her eyes at his back.

“Nice dodge, slick.” she said with a snort.

Nick didn’t answer. She watched him for a few seconds before she opened her mouth again.

“I went to 1955 Cypress Grove Lane, you know.”

Even with his back turned, Judy could see how he paused. Then he turned on the coffee machine and quietly watched it for a few seconds before it let out a bubbling sound, confirming that it was actually still functioning. Finally, he turned around to look at her.  

“Did you now?” he said.

“I did. You didn’t live there and you don’t actually live here either, do you?”

Nick just exhaled, his smile barely visible as he looked away from her. It looked like he was going to answer but that he for once had trouble finding the words. Judy immediately regretted that she hadn’t followed her own advice and just dropped it.

“Oh, forget that I asked,” she said with a smile. “It’s none of my business. You’ve helped me more than I deserve and here I am, complaining and being nosy. I’m sorry. I’ll let you keep your little secrets.”

He obviously picked up her teasing tone at the last sentence, as he just chuckled at her. He grabbed the only chair in the room and put it in front of the couch. He sat down on it with his arm draped over its back.

“Ain’t much of a secret, Carrots. Money comes and money goes for mammals like me. You make friends, you make enemies. It’s just less complicated to not stick to the same address for long. This place is mine, but it isn’t just mine. For the coming days it is though, so don’t worry about that.”

“It’s some kind of safehouse then?”

“With a space in the middle, yes. A house that is safe.”

Judy couldn’t help but smile at that.

“Well, that’s all I need! Sounds complicated for you though.”

“You get used to it.”

Nick said it with a shrug, as if the kind of life he had just hinted at was the most natural thing in the world.

Even though Nick had decided to talk about it, he obviously wasn’t comfortable with the topic. So Judy decided to finally drop it.

“Sooo,” she said in a tone that was bit too forced in its cheerfulness. “You got anything fun to read around here? If I’m going to spend the coming days moaning in pain on your couch, I’d like some entertainment at least.”

“What, I’m not entertainment enough for you?”

Judy let out a snicker.

“Why, Mr Wilde, of course you are! But I assumed a busy mammal like yourself would be out all day. Don’t you have dumb bunnies to hustle and alluring vixens to charm or something?”

Nick raised his eyebrows in amusement and rested his chin on his paw.  

“How presumptuous of you, officer Hopps. Maybe I prefer to hustle dumb vixens and charm alluring bunnies?”

Judy cocked her head and let out an amused hum.

“Ah yes,“ she said. “I’ve heard that bunnies find your kind of roguish charm just fascinating.”

Nick shrugged and held out his paws in a gesture of false modesty without losing his smirk.

“What can I say? I’ve never met a bunny I couldn’t charm into liking me.”

Judy laughed and was just about to come with some witty retort when a sudden stab of pain from her leg made her gasp. Nick’s heavy-lidded smirk disappeared in an instant.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” she replied between deep breaths. “I guess the wound just, ghhh, don’t like it when I forget about it for a moment. Phew, I sure miss that heavy dose of adrenaline now!”

“You need some painkillers?”

Judy’s eyes widened in realization before she put a paw over her face with a groan.

“I forgot to pick up the painkillers!” she exclaimed. “It totally slipped my mind after all the morphine they gave me at the hospital!”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Nick said and started to fish around in his pockets before he picked up a small white bottle. “You didn’t forget them. I picked them up for you.”

Judy caught the small bottle without a word as he tossed it to her. They were indeed her painkillers, with her name and everything printed on the bottle.

“How in the world did you get your paws on my prescription medicine?”

Nick gave her a wink and a smirk.

“Oh, you know how roguishly charming I can be.”

Judy put her elbow on the armrest and rested her chin against her paw.

“Obviously I don’t know half of it,” she said with raised eyebrows and a pointed smile that soon turned into a grimace because of the pain.

Nick just chuckled. While they had been talking, he had gotten up again to pour her a glass of water. She gratefully accepted it and swallowed down two of the painkillers.  

“No big secret here either,” Nick said with a casual wave of his paw. “I swiped your ID while you were sleeping, wal-”

“You what?”

“I borrowed your ID while you were sleeping, walked down to the pharmacy and after some persuasion they let me pick up the pills for you. Someone obviously had ‘misplaced’ the form that said it was totally okay that I picked them up for you. Simple.”

“It would have been interesting to see that persuasion of yours.”

“Oh, there was nothing to it,” Nick said before he frowned and his voice sank into a deep parody of some unnamed mammal. “Hey now, why would a rabbit let a fox pick up her medicine, huh?”

In an instant, Nick’s whole face changed into the innocent smile Judy hadn’t seen since she still had thought he was a loving dad with the best intentions in the world.

“Haha, oh, it does sound odd when you put it that way, ma’am,” he said with his soft voice, continuing his reenactment of the scene. “But bless her trusting little heart, this wonderful rabbit means more to me than I can even explain.”

He put a paw to his chest and lovingly looked down at his other paw, that was apparently meant to hold her ID with her photo on it. Then his loving smile turned into a sudden look of sadness.

“I’ve never been this worried in my life, you know” he whispered, slowly shaking his head. “I know you have rules. I understand. But she’s done so much for Zootopia. So much for me. If she doesn’t recover…”

He sighed. Then his smirk came back in an instant as he dropped his mime and held out his paws.

“Simple.”

Judy scoffed, but still felt oddly touched by the little scene.

“You’re far too proud of your lying skills. Though I’m going to pretend you meant every word of all that.”

Nick chuckled and wiggled his eyebrows at her but didn’t answer.

“Coffee’s ready,” was all he said before he got out of the chair.

Judy leaned back in the couch and closed her eyes again with a deep breath. In an effort to focus on something other than the pain, she listened to Nick rummaging around in the small kitchen, trying to understand what he was doing by sound only. The sound of cups against each other, his confused hum and the short moment of silence before he rinsed them with water. And then finally the sound of hot coffee being poured into two cups. She opened her eyes again when she heard him approach.

“Here you go,” he said and held out the coffee cup to her.

It took a moment before Judy managed to get a good grip of the cup without burning herself on the hot edges. Nick didn’t let go of the cup until he saw that she held it firmly with both paws.

“Thanks,” she said and peered down into the steaming, dark liquid.

“Sugar?”

“Nah, I’m good.”

“Great, because I don’t have any.”

Judy hummed in amusement at him. Taking a first sip, she realized the coffee was still just a little bit too hot. It tasted old, and way too bitter for her taste. But the warmth, the smell and just the fact that she was sitting down with a cup of coffee together with a friend made her realize how content she actually felt at this moment. More content than she had felt in weeks. Months even.

“So,” Nick said after they had both sipped their coffee in silence for a while. “You think you can survive these coming days down here? Holed up with some hustling fox amidst leaking pipes, broken radiators, a toilet that needs a good kick to stop flushing and coffee that might be from the last century?”

She turned her head to look at the mammal she just a few days ago had thought she had lost forever. 

“I think it will be some of the best days of my life,” she said with a grin.

To avoid complications, Nick never kept the same address -Killer Queen playing in the background-

This chapter felt a bit... off. Like it wasn't a one-shot but more like the first chapter of a longer story. I haven't planned anything, but maybe someday it will be.

And this might sound weird, but I think there are many similarities between Nick and Scrooge McDuck. Both spend a significant part of their lives earning money in one way or another, but neither of them seem interested in actually spending it. Earning money is the only sense of purpose they have in their lives. It's not about being rich, it's about feeling that you are doing something worthwhile with your life. Both of them were also made cynical and bitter by a cruel and unfair world.

Chapter Text

For someone admitted in hospital, Judy sure hadn’t been given much time to rest. She had already lost count of how many people she had talked to from her hospital bed. How many times Bogo had interrogated her about Bellwether’s plot. How many times family members had called to make sure that she was actually, no really , okay. How many journalists the nurses had thrown out as they tried to sneak in and get an exclusive interview with Judy. Her throat was dry after all the times she had told the story of how they found out about the night howlers and of the showdown with the now former mayor.

The groan when she sat up in the bed was more out of frustration than pain. The pain in her stitched up leg was more of a dull throbbing by now. Though she wasn’t actually sure how much pain medication they had filled her body with by this point. She sat still for a moment and just looked down at her injured leg. It felt excessive to keep her contained to this hospital bed even after she was all stitched up. But the doctors insisted that she should stay at the hospital for a while longer. Part of her wondered if she was kept there just so Bogo and the other police officers would know exactly where she was for whenever they needed more details on the case.

She turned her head to look at Nick, who was sitting quietly by the window, watching the rain outside. Bogo had finally decided to treat Nick with some degree of respect and even considered him a reliable witness this time. But otherwise, all the medical staff, journalists and politicians (not to mention members of the Hopps clan) had only been interested in talking to Judy. Apparently, the perspective of an unknown and uninjured fox wasn’t quite as interesting as what the grievously injured hero cop had to say. So Nick had mostly stayed in the background, offering her reassuring smiles, thumbs up and the occasional sarcastic comment during her stay at the hospital. Now he seemed to immediately notice that she was looking at him.

“Hey,” she said when their eyes met.

Her voice carried a tone of exhaustion in it that she hadn’t noticed before.

“Hey,” he answered with a smile that seemed half genuine and half in amusement at her tired greeting.

“Come here.” She pointed at the chair next to her bed. “Talk with me.”

Nick chuckled and got up.

“I thought you’d be sick of talking by now,” he said and slouched in the chair.

“I’m not sick of talking with you ,” she said and let out a huff of both amusement at his comment and annoyance at her day. “I’m sick of being treated like some kind of dying martyr.”

She sighed and ran her paw through the fur on her head before giving him a weak smile.

“You didn’t have to stay and keep me company, you know.”

Nick just shrugged.

“I know that. I just didn’t want you to...”

He trailed off, only finishing his unsaid sentence with an unreadable gesture with his paw. Judy exhaled slightly louder in amusement.

“You must have been bored to tears these past hours,” she continued.

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that. I got plenty of entertainment just from watching that bulging vein on Buffalo butt’s forehead when he felt forced to call me ‘Mr. Wilde’.”

Judy giggled at the memory of the rather strained conversation between the three of them.  

“Yeah… Still, it means a lot. Sooo… thanks.”

Nick gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze with a smile.  

“And thanks for not bleeding to death, Carrots.”

“Oh, come on, it wasn’t that bad!”

The incredulous way in which Nick raised his eyebrows prompted her to continue.  

“I bet it won’t even leave a sca… well, not a big scar, at least. Yet everyone keeps treating me as if I had my whole leg chopped off.”

“You did lose a lot of blood though.”

“Yeah, but I’m not dying and I don’t need to be in bed like this. It’s just-”

She fell quiet.

“Sorry…” she added with some embarrassment after a moment. “I didn’t mean to snap or sound ungrateful. I am grateful that people care. That… that you care. I’m just tired of being cooped up in this place.”

“Can’t blame you.”

“I just want to do something. I want to get out. I want to go running. I want to go… home.”

She frowned, realizing while she was talking that she had no home in Zootopia to go back to anymore. She had lost her apartment when she quit her job and moved back to Bunnyburrow. And now Bogo had suddenly told her that her resignation never went through and that he was looking forward to seeing her back to work when she had recovered. So apparently she had a job in this city but no place to live. Nick seemed to pick up on her line of thought. He frowned slightly as he looked at her, but didn’t say anything.  

Their conversation stopped there for a few moments. Judy quietly rubbed her paws together with a frown. Her head filled with thoughts about what to do when she finally got out of the hospital. Nick looked out at the rain again, tapping a finger against his muzzle. Whatever he was thinking about, he didn’t say it out loud. Finally, it was Judy who broke the silence.

“Let’s take a walk!”

She almost laughed at the look of utter surprise on Nick’s face.

“Sounds like a pretty bad idea, Fluff.”

“Not a long walk. Just down the corridor and back. I just need to get out of this room a bit.”  

“Fine. Just don’t blame me if your sutures burst and you bleed out all over the hospital floor.”

“Now you’re just being dramatic. Give me my crutch, will you?”

Nick looked sceptical, but still gave her the crutch that had so far gone mostly unused.

“You’re one stubborn rabbit.”

“That’s why you like me.”

Nick just scoffed at that.

“Ow... Ow... Ow... Ow... Ow...”

The walk through the corridor was a slow one. For each step and each annoyed grunt of pain, Nick’s expression changed more and more from concern to what looked more like amusement. Even so, he still had an outstretched paw ready in case she would lose her balance. He also assured the two nurses that walked by that everything was fine. Judy stopped for a moment and leaned on her crutch to take a breath.  

“Well, it still hurts,” she said matter-of-factly.

“And here I thought you were moaning in happiness for not being in pain.”

“Very funny.”

“Sooo… shall we go back?”

“Isn’t there some kind of waiting room up ahead? Let’s just go there and have some coffee or something.”

Nick rolled his eyes but still held out his paw in an elegant gesture to prompt her to keep walking.

It was with some trepidation that Judy peeked into the waiting room. It turned out to be empty, much to her relief. Part of her had feared that there would be journalists waiting in there. Though Bogo had mentioned that they had police officers outside the ward to make sure no curious mammals or possible accomplices of Bellwether got in. It was a risk that hadn’t even occurred to Judy before he mentioned it. She had also started to realize that both the hospital and the ZPD had made a huge exception when they let Nick stay with her for as long as he wanted. Maybe because he was the only one who had visited her that could be counted as friends or family.

It was with some effort that she sat down on one of the hard seats in the room. Frustrated and restless as she was, the short walk had made her realize that she was also very tired. She closed her eyes for a few moments as Nick walked up to the coffee machine.

“So what do you want?”

“Eeh, just a plain coffee, I guess,” she mumbled.

She listened to the hum of the coffee machine before she opened her eyes, just in time to be handed a paper cup of coffee.

“Thanks.”

Nick sat down beside her just as she took her first sip of the still too hot coffee. Nick let out a contented sigh as he tasted his own coffee. Judy peered down into her cup, finding the liquid a bit too hot and a bit too bitter to drink it fast. Then her face shifted between a frown and a smile as a strange thought struck her.

“This is the first cup of coffee I’ve had in five days,” she said.

“Oh my, how have you survived?”

She glanced up at Nick with a smirk before she looked down into her cup again.

“Last time was back with my family in Bunnyburrow,” she continued. “Isn’t that weird though? A cup of coffee is such a common thing. Yet, the last time I had one, everything was completely different.”

She took another sip of the coffee, still thinking about it. Nick watched her without saying anything.

“Last time I had a cup of coffee,” she continued, “I thought I’d never be back to Zootopia. Predators were still going savage and we didn’t know why. I still thought Bellwether was doing all she could to stop it.”

She shook her head in disgust when the mayor turned terrorist came to her mind. Nick just nodded thoughtfully at her reflection.

“And I…” Judy hesitated, knowing how personal the next thought that had come to her mind was. “...and I thought that you would never forgive me. That I had lost the only real friend I had in this city forever because of my own stupidity and arrogance.”

She finished the sentence with a sigh. Her eyes turned to look at the fox over the edge of the coffee cup as she took another sip. Even after all the both of them had gone through, she felt strangely awkward for saying that. Of course, there was also the immense shame attached to that particular memory. Even if Nick had forgiven her, she wondered if she would ever be able to forgive herself. Nick seemed to catch on to all the thoughts going through her head during those few seconds when they just looked at each other. Because his frown quickly turned into a genuine smile.

“Oh, you bunnies…” he said in his teasing tone.

“Would you stop saying that,” she laughed and gave him a jab in the leg.

Nick laughed and put an arm around her shoulder. Sitting next to each other, each with a cup of coffee in paw, was a bad position for a hug. So Judy just rested her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes again with a smile.

“It’s not like I’ve been perfect in this weird friendship of ours either,” he mumbled.

“I forgive you for not being perfect.”

“Very kind of you. And it’s not like I could stay mad at you forever anyway.”

“Cause I’m just that charming,” she said and yawned.

“Not to mention humble.”

Judy hummed in amusement before she opened her eyes again to take another sip of coffee. The throbbing pain in her leg was still there. Her head was still full of thoughts about Bellwether’s plot, the future of Zootopia and the uncertainty of what she was going to do after she left the hospital. But for the first time that day, she actually felt calm.

Woo, I'm back! ...with a chapter that takes place right before the previous chapter. Go figure. And with coffee as a storytelling device once again. I guess I'm just that much of an addict.

Chapter Text

Why did I even come here tonight?

That question had repeated itself in Judy’s mind for about an hour now. As a cop, she was used to expect the unexpected. But having to go to a fancy cocktail party as part of her job was something beyond what she’d call “unexpected”. Yet there she was – in a dress that was far too uncomfortable, with a drink that was far too sweet and in a conversation that was far too dull.

She had already forgotten the name of the buffalo that had been talking to her for fifteen minutes by now. She laughed politely at some joke he had made that didn’t even make sense. It was hard for her to keep the frown off her face as she thought back to her conversation with chief Bogo about this party. It still didn’t quite make sense to her as to why he had wanted her and Nick to go there.

“It’s some charity thing,” he had told her the week before, shoving the invitations into her paws hard enough to almost knock her over.

“What are we supposed to be doing there?” she had asked, not really understanding what it was all about.

“Show that we at the ZPD care, build good relationships with the media, blah blah blah. In short: get these people off my back. And you know how much they all love the whole bunny and fox angle.”

That was certainly true. Zootopia’s first rabbit police officer had been used as a symbol (for good and for bad) before she had even started to work as a cop. And when she teamed up with Zootopia’s first fox police officer a year ago… Wow. Then it had all been kicked up to eleven, without anyone asking what Judy or Nick thought about it. The novelty of it all had started to die down by now (much to Judy’s relief), but apparently the two of them were still in high demand in some circles.  

Speaking of Nick, where was that damn smooth-talker? He had been the only thing that had made this party bearable, and he seemed to handle it much better than her. If he was just as bored as she was, he sure hadn’t shown it. He had quickly disappeared into the crowd – mingling and talking with just about everybody. Happily getting into conversations about everything from police work to stock valuation.

She looked around the large hall, trying to spot him. The buffalo was still talking about how his strategic use of USP’s (whatever that was) had been a key factor to his success. By now, Judy had realized that her only role in this conversation was to hum in amusement, amazement or agreement every ten seconds or so. Which is why she didn’t even feel the need to be discreet as she looked around. The buffalo was too busy talking to notice anyway.

Nick was easy enough to spot. He was the only fox present – his red fur standing out like a beacon against all the black suits and white dresses. It seemed even he had had enough of the party. He was standing in a corner of the hall, away from the crowd, engaged in a conversation with one of the waiters. Whatever they were talking about, the two of them seemed to enjoy themselves immensely. Finally, the waiter gave him a slap on the shoulder with a laugh and pointed out at the crowd. Nick raised his glass at him as the waiter got back to work.

”...and if you’ve paid attention, you’ve noticed that was the fifth company I’ve founded. So you could say I’ve become something of an expert at this, haha.”

Judy blinked, realizing she had missed a large chunk of what the buffalo had said to her.

”Wow, five companies?” she said lamely. ”That’s, uhm, that’s a lot of companies.”

Growing up as a rabbit with a dream of becoming a cop, Judy was used to people seldom being interested in what she had to say. That’s why she felt a sting of guilt at her total disinterest in the conversation, even if the buffalo didn’t notice it.

”It is!” he continued with a grin. “I started out with nothing, you know. I’m proud to call myself a self made mammal.”

Judy nodded with a forced smile. It took a minute or two before she had a chance to interrupt him in a way that still felt polite.

“It’s been really nice talking to you, uh, sir,” she said. “I hope you don’t mind, but I need to have a word with my colleague over there.”

“Ah, of course, miss Tops! If you ever think about starting your own company, you know where to find me!”

“I do indeed!” she said with a little laugh that she hoped sounded genuine before she jumped down from her chair.

Back on the floor, she took another sip of her drink, shuddered at the intense sweetness of it, and made her way over to Nick.

He hadn’t moved since his conversation with the waiter had ended. Instead he seemed content with just leaning against the wall, quietly observing the party with an amused look on his face.

“Officer Hopps!” he said as he saw her approaching. “What an undeniable pleasure!”

Judy didn’t answer, but simply got up beside him and leaned her head against his shoulder with a tired groan.

”You seem to be handling this party splendidly,” Nick said, barely able to keep the laughter out of his voice.

“I thought being bored to tears was just an expression… But this evening... Are there tears in my eyes, Nick? Am I crying right now?”

Nick turned to look into her eyes and tilted his head.

“Nah, you’re good. They’re just a little moist.”  

“I just don’t get it. No one at this party is interested in what anyone else here has to say.”

“You included?”

“Me included. I thought this was supposed to be about charity, but they are all just talking about how good they are at making money.”

“To be fair, they are really good at making money.”

“Obviously,” Judy said and sighed before she continued. “Part of me feel bad for caring just as little about what they do as they care about what I do. Part of me want to scream in bored panic and throw myself through the window.”

Nick apparently found this so amusing that he was still laughing as he took another sip of his drink, resulting in a bubbly distortion of his laugh.

“First that tasteless jaguar to the left of me,” Judy continued, more to herself at this point. “Then that egocentric buffalo to my right. And there I am…”

“...stuck in the middle with me,” Nick sang softly.

Judy couldn’t help but laugh, instantly feeling that she was complaining way too much.

“Yeah, I guess it could be worse.”

“It could indeed. There’s free snacks after all. How’s that drink of yours?”

Judy held up her glass to take a look at her drink’s strange color.

“It tastes like someone tried to ferment maple syrup.”

“You say that as if it’s a bad thing.”

“Maybe I just need something sour to match my mood.”

“You’ll like this then,” Nick said and held out his glass to her. “I’m afraid it has been somewhat sweetened with fox saliva though.”

Judy gave him a quick smirk as she took the offered drink.

“You say that as if it’s a bad thing,” she echoed with a wink.

Nick raised an eyebrow with an amused smirk of his own. Judy carefully sniffed this new drink before trying it. It wasn’t what she’d call tasty, but it did take away the sharp taste of sugar that had plastered itself all over the inside of her mouth

“Oh, that is much better,” she said with a relieved smile. “Let’s switch.”

Nick laughed softly to himself as he took her original drink from her. He took one sip and then stood in complete silence for a moment, apparently trying to decide if he liked it or not.

“Like fermented maple syrup…” he mumbled. “An accurate description of this little thing.”

“You say that as if it’s a good thing.”

“Hah.”

They fell silent after that, just sipping their new drinks and observing the party. Nick tapped his foot along with the rhythm of the soft jazz music that could barely be heard over the noise of the party itself. Judy glanced over at the clock. Nick took another sip of his drink. They both managed to yawn at the same time.

“Well, this isn’t very productive.” Nick said after another silent moment. “What do you say? Shall we steal as much free snacks as we can carry, blow this joint and watch a movie at my place? Dear old Boss Bogo need not know.”

“Why, officer Wilde!” Judy said in a dramatic whisper. “The unlawful taking of property and abandoning our posts? Such a scandalous suggestion!”

“...Is that a yes?”

“It is. Let’s go.”

Without a word, they both emptied their drinks (both of them shuddering a bit at the taste) and put down their glasses on a nearby table. Then Judy linked her arm into Nick’s, and they walked towards the exit.

“Sometimes I wonder what I would do if I wasn’t constantly stuck in the middle with you,” Judy said with a crooked smile.

“Same here, Carrots. Same here.”

"Trying to make some sense of it all, but I can see that it makes no sense at all." Stealers Wheel’s classic song Stuck in the Middle with You (of Reservoir Dogs fame) is actually a dismissive comment on how parties in the music industry apparently can be, as well as the horror of being stuck at one of those. And I laughed when I suddenly thought about translating it to Zootopia.

I tried to google if fermented maple syrup is actually a thing, but my findings were inconclusive. 

Chapter Text

"See the queen? Find the queen and you double your money. Keep your eyes on the queen, people."

As Nick shuffled the cards around, it struck him that it was amazing that this con actually still worked. The three-card Monte had been old long before he even learned it himself. And still, it remained a guaranteed, if meager, source of money when he was really in a pinch. Which he happened to be in right now. All you needed were three playing cards, somewhere to set up, a quick mouth and even quicker paws.

He had already managed to gather a small crowd. More mammals meant more risk, but also more reward. As the next round started, they seemed almost hypnotized as they watched the cards move over the cardboard box Nick had put on the ground. A few passersby on the street had shook their heads as they saw what was going on. But as always, anyone who realized there was a con going on simply ignored it - shrugging it off as another unavoidable part of city life.

"Nope, no queen there. That's a loss for you, my tall friend!" Nick exclaimed, quickly taking care of the money before showing where the queen actually was. "There she is! Care to try again?"

The wolf who had just been playing (and just been played) just grunted and walked away. This was of course the tricky part. In a game where you always win, you have to work hard to make the other participants want to keep playing.

"Who's next?"

At that moment, a young otter squeezed between the legs of the taller mammals and got up to the table, an excited grin on her face. Up until now, she had just been watching the game, dropping a comment or two, saying that it didn't look too difficult.

"Let me try!" she exclaimed, tapping her paws against the box.

Nick chuckled as he let the three cards wander between his paws.

"A pretty little lady to find the not quite as pretty lady! You're on!"

The otter rolled her eyes with a snort.

"Wow, what a charmer, huh?" she said looking at the other mammals, making some of them laugh at her sarcasm.

"You don't know half of it, darlin'," Nick replied with a wink. "How much you want to bet?"

"That fox is just trying to trick you out of your money, miss," an armadillo snorted behind her before she had the chance to reply.

The otter laughed and threw two crumpled bills right in Nick's face.

"He wouldn't be the first to try or the first to fail," she said, a devious grin on her face as she looked into Nick's eyes.

"Obviously I want her money," Nick said with a matching grin and a shrug, making some of his little crowd laugh. "You think I'm here for the joy of shuffling cards? But if the eyes of this cute little otter are too slow - am I really to blame?"

His tone balanced right between teasing and condescending, which resulted in some more laughs. Someone gave the otter an encouraging pat on the shoulder as her grin turned into a frowning glare.

"Try me, fox," she said.

"Heh, that's the spirit," Nick said and showed her the queen before he dropped it on the box together with the two other cards.

"Tell me if I'm going too fast for you, hun," Nick said with a grin and started shuffling.

The otter didn't take her eyes off the cards even for a moment.

"Shut up," she mumbled, her frown still on her face as she watched the cards.

When Nick stopped his shuffling, the three cards lay perfectly arranged in between them.

"So where's the queen, princess?" he said, holding out his paw in an inviting gesture.

The otter scoffed at his deliberately dumb wordplay and raised her paw. It stopped in the air as she hesitated.

"I… uhm…" she said, uncertainty showing on her face for the first time.

"Oh, oh, I think I know!" an impala exclaimed behind her, having just caught interest in the game.

Nick held up a finger in the air to silence him. That's when the otter pointed to the card in the middle.

"You sure?" Nick said, his eyebrows raised as he slowly lowered his paw again.

"I'm sure," she replied, staring into his eyes.

Nick sighed and turned the card over, revealing that it was indeed the queen of diamonds. The otter jumped in the air and let out a triumphant cry to the cheers of the surrounding mammals. Nick shrugged with a resigned smile and gave the otter her money.

"I knew it! I knew it was there!" the impala said with a laugh and pulled some money out of his pocket, ready for the next round.

This is of course how you do it. It's the way the three-card Monte has always been played. You need to show people that they can win it. Make them think they are smarter than the dealer. So you don't do it alone. It is usually better to be more than two, but Nick preferred having just a single shill - someone to show the mark that the hustler shuffling the cards can be hustled himself. Someone to encourage others to play. Early on, Nick had worked together with another fox when doing the Monte. But they had realized that far too many mammals became suspicious when there were foxes on both sides of the cards.

That's why Debby (she despised being called Deborah) was perfect for this kind of hustle. She lacked experience, but made up for it with raw talent. With some jokes and some flirting, she could make just about anyone take part in the game. Mammals just didn't see any reason to be suspicious of this otter that looked like some naive country girl. And they sure didn't suspect that she was working with some shifty fox.

"...aaand that's all of it," Nick finished, putting the last bill in Debby's paw.

The sun was already setting, and all in all, they had made more money than Nick had anticipated. Debby glanced up at him, suspicion showing on her face. Then she carefully counted how many bills she actually had in her paw. Even so, she looked rather embarrassed when she saw the look on Nick's face.

"I just don't want you to cheat me too, Wilde," she mumbled. "The way you make cards disappear... I bet you can do the same with bills."

"Hah, thanks for the confidence. Do I look like some kind of sneaky hustler to you?"

"Do you really want me to answer that question?"

"Definitely not."

Debby giggled and put the money in her pocket, her suspicion apparently forgotten. Then she got up next to Nick and sat down beside him on the concrete block that someone had dumped there. None of them said anything for a while. The water in front of them reflected the light of both the sunset and the skyscrapers of Zootopia that were starting to light up for the night. The constant roar of cars and trains passing by on the bridge above them made the silence feel a bit less… silent. Still, Nick was used to his shills and associates leaving as soon as their business was concluded. Debby was one of the few that liked to hang around and talk for awhile. Nick never understood why..

"Beer?" Nick finally said, rummaging in the old cloth bag that rested between his feet.

"Of course," Debby said with a faint smile, her paws already reaching for the can.

The can of beer looked comically large compared to the small otter when she grabbed it with both paws. She still managed to open it without problems.

"Feels like I'm starting to get the hang of this 'hustling' stuff," she said before she lifted the cans to her mouth with both paws.

"No surprise there. You're a natural smooth talker."

Debby let out a snorting kind of laugh and nudged him in the side with a paw. The move almost made her lose her grip of the can though. She struggled for a moment, but managed to get a secure grip on it again without spilling any beer. Nick watched her struggles with amusement. She looked up at him with a sheepish grin.

"Can I really trust a compliment like that when it comes from an actual smooth talker?" she said, wiggling her eyebrows at him.

Nick put a paw on his chest in feigned offense.

"Implying that my compliments aren't genuine? Why, I'm offended!"

"Yes, I'm sure you were totally honest when you told that wildebeest that he looked like a smart fellow."

"It did however boost his self-confidence," Nick said, wagging his finger in the air.

Debby hummed in amusement and took another sip of her beer. It made Nick realize that he hadn't opened his own can yet. Debby started talking again the same moment he got his first taste of the not-quite cold beverage.

"So you doing anything fun tonight? Will Mr. Wilde have a wild Friday night with his ill-gotten gains?"

She laughed at her own pun. Nick didn't bother to tell her that he had heard jokes like that all his life. He had actually forgotten that it was Friday. The days tended to blur together when you had no regular schedule to keep. When there really wasn't much beyond the next hustle or the next way to afford a meal. So he just shook his head.

"No plans for me."

"Oh? Well, you know, I was thinking of going to this party near Firefly bridge, over in the Rainforest district. We could… I mean, if you want to… You could come along?"

Nick stretched out his arms above his head while she was talking, until he heard a satisfying pop from his back.

"Maybe next time," he said. "I've got some business tomorrow, so I'll leave the partying to young otters like you, kid."

"Kid?" Debby scoffed. "You're like two years older than me."

"Two years well spent, with much wisdom gained."

"I'm sure. But you know, if you change your mind-"

"Then I'll let you know."

She smiled, though Nick thought he could see some disappointment in that smile.

"Business, huh?" she mumbled after a moment. "More card tricks?"

Nick chuckled.

"Not this time. I'm meeting… uh, some people I know in Tundratown."

Debby nodded thoughtfully. Nick wondered if she had even heard of Mr. Big and his infamous family. And while Nick didn't mind having the inexperienced otter along for hustles and the like, he wasn't going to be the one to introduce her to the world of organized crime.

"You know," she said after a moment. "I've never asked you how long you've actually been doing this. This whole… 'hustling' business."

Nick let out an amused hum and looked out over the water again. Most people in the business would never ask that question. And for good reason. He didn't know why Debby had ended up doing the same things he did. He only knew that she was new to this. That something had suddenly and radically changed in her life, and it had thrown her straight into the world that Nick was so used to by now. In fact, the hustling and the con games were now such a natural part of his life that he had to take a moment to think before he could answer her question.

"Since I was... hmm, twelve, I guess," he said, taking another sip of beer. "So a bit over ten years."

"Twelve?!"

For the first time, Nick heard something that resembled actual shock in Debby's voice. He just shrugged when he felt forced to meet her surprised gaze.

"But, why… I mean, how did that happen?"

Nick chuckled.

"Not a story you'd want to hear, hun."

"Oh, uhm, okay. Sorry. I… I didn't mean to pry."

Debby looked away before she took another sip of her beer, in what looked like an effort to look casual. Nick gave her a smile and nudged her in the same way she had done to him before.

"I'll tell you when you get older, kid," he said with a wink.

"Oh, come on!" she laughed. "Would you stop that, you old fart?"

They shared a laugh and the subject had successfully been changed. If there was something Nick was good at, it was distraction. Whether he was distracting someone so they didn't notice when he hid the card they were looking for - or distracting both others and himself so he wouldn't have to talk or think about things he'd rather forget.

They didn't talk much the following minutes. Debby came with some comment about the sunset. Nick made some joke about the oversized beer she was drinking. And finally, Nick yawned again. Not because he was tired, but because it made the transition into what he was going to say that much easier.

"Ah, but you know, this old fox really needs to be going," he said, automatically looking down at his wrist even though there was no watch there. "You still up for some more money-making next week?"

"Of course," Debby replied with a grin. "But don't you want to at least keep me company while I finish this huge beer you gave me?"

Nick laughed and picked up the cardboard box and his cloth bag (that only contained two cans of beer, a deck of cards and a few pens).

"Sorry to ditch you, sweetheart, but it's a long way home for me."

"Yeah? Where do you live anyway?"

"Tonight? Canal district." he said, pointing in the general direction.

Debby raised an eyebrow, but had apparently decided not to ask him more questions that he wasn't going to answer anyway.

"Ah, that's… that's a long way, yeah."

"It sure is. So I'll bid you adieu, Miss Otter, and try to find my way to the nearest subway station. See you around!"

He hung the cloth bag over his shoulder as he was talking, gave her a mock salute and started walking.

"Hey, Nick."

Nick turned around and looked back at her, catching something he didn't quite like in her tone.

"Call me," she said, holding up her paw next to her face in the classic hand gesture to indicate a phone. "You know, if you change your mind about the party. Or if… if you just need someone to talk to or something."

Nick usually made sure that his face didn't show anything he didn't want to be shown. But this time, he could feel the surprise showing on his face as his smile dropped. It was only for a few seconds though, before he composed himself again.

"I will," he said, even though he knew he would never call her for anything that wasn't related to them working together. "You have fun at that party now."

"I will," Debby echoed with a smile and quietly waved as Nick turned around again to walk away. "See you soon, Nicky."

The way to the subway station led Nick through a park that was strangely empty for a Friday night. The lights of the city made the darkening sky look gray and bland. When he was sure there was no one around to hear him, he let out a long sigh. As much as he joked about it, he did actually feel old. Or maybe weary was a better word. Weary of what, he didn't quite know. It wasn't that he didn't like Debby. But talking with her left him with a lingering sense of unease. Maybe it was the constant questions and the way she kept reminding him of things he'd rather not think about. Maybe it was some kind of shame for dragging her deeper into this side of Zootopia that had become so familiar to him. Or maybe she just reminded him of how he himself had been once.

Whatever it was, Nick soon decided that it would do him no good to think too much about it. He adjusted his grip of the box and started whistling a happy tune. Today had been a good day after all, with much money earned with little effort. Tomorrow would be an even better day, depending on how his business with Mr. Big would turn out. So what was there to be anxious about? And yet, some tiny part of him knew perfectly well that he was just trying to use his skills of distraction again.

Don't play three-card Monte, people. I realized that this is the first chapter that doesn't involve Judy in any way, seeing how it takes place several years before Nick and Judy meet. I had this idea of making a separate story of this, with a set of darker one-shots focusing on Nick's past. But we'll see what I actually have time for. So in the meantime, this one goes with the rest of these one-shots.

Chapter Text

"Wow, you got chairs!" Judy exclaimed and clapped her paws in a small applause as she stepped into the apartment. "And a table! Awesome!"

Judging by the look on Nick's face, he wasn't completely sure if she was being sarcastic or genuinely excited for him. It had taken him quite a while to bother to get anything at all for his new apartment. Probably because he was used to both buying and owning next to nothing. For weeks he had been perfectly satisfied with only having a mattress on the floor to sleep on and an old two-seat sofa in which he would eat his dinners from a pot. Any sign at all that he had started to consider it more a home than just a place to live was a good sign to Judy.

"Yeah, well, I was getting tired of the echo in here," Nick replied absentmindedly as he leaned down to pick up the mail from the floor.

"And look at that, you're even getting mail! How does it feel to be so settled down?"

Nick gave her a smirk and gave the mail in his paw a slight tap with the other paw.

"These are called bills, my friend. They do not feel great. Can't complain otherwise. It still feels weird to sleep so many nights in a row in the same place though."

Judy didn't answer, but just smiled at him as she took off her jacket. She still didn't quite understand how Nick's living arrangements had worked before he moved to this place. But living like this was obviously still quite new to him. Just like it was new to him to live a life without hustling. Just like it had been new to him to even consider applying to the police academy (after a lot of doubts and discussions with Judy). In an effort to not sound like a broken record, she tried to not tell him too often how proud and impressed she was with all the new things he had been doing these last few months.

Nick threw up the bag of groceries on his small table. With the mail still in one paw, he started unpacking the groceries. Most of it was vegetables they would use for their dinner later on. He simple left those on the table, only pausing to make some joke about the carrots. In the end he only found three things in the bag that needed to go into the fridge.

"I need some tea," Judy said and walked past him to get a pot. "Do you want some?"

"No thanks," Nick said over his shoulder as he took the few steps needed to get to his couch.

Even though she hadn't been in Nick's apartment many times, Judy still found her way around his kitchen easily enough. Probably because the kitchen was confined to one of the walls in his living room. It was also as empty as the rest of the place. When she opened the cabinet there was only one mug there (the only other mug he owned was standing in the window for some reason). She hummed in amusement as she took it.

"Being here gives me so many ideas for what I can get you for your birthday," she said.

Nick sat down in the couch and laughed.

"You're welcome for the inspiration, officer Hopps."

She glanced at him over her shoulder with a smirk. He didn't meet her gaze as he was looking down at the envelopes in his paw. She turned her attention back to the cabinet and the solitary mug within. Behind it was a package of tea that she had put there herself. She had smuggled it into his apartment the last time she was there, to make sure coffee wasn't the only option when she visited him. Nick had found that immensely amusing when he discovered it.

"Maybe some plants," Judy added thoughtfully and fished up some tea with a spoon. "That would liven this place up a lot."

Nick just let out a hum of agreement behind her.

"Clawhauser at work talked about this, apparently amazing, florist in the Rainforest district the other day. Down at… what was it he said…? Firefly bridge, I think it was. Do you know it?"

She didn't wait for an answer, knowing that Nick would just use the opportunity to brag about his vast knowledge of Zootopia.

"Of course you do. Still, I'd almost feel bad if I didn't go to Mr. Otterton. I mean, that would be-"

"I got in."

Judy paused mid-sentence, her mouth still open as she turned around and stared at him. Nick didn't look back at her. He was looking down at a piece of paper in his paws, the opened envelope now on the floor.

"Wha-what?" she said, trying to understand if she had actually understood him correctly.

"I got in," he repeated and turned the paper around so she could see the writing on it.

Judy saw the ZPD logo printed in the corner. She realized that she had received a letter that looked exactly like that a few years back. She took a few dazed steps and leaned in closer to read the first few sentences in the letter. Then a grin grew on her face.

"You got in!" she screamed with a jump in triumph. "You got in! You're going to be a cop!"

Nick let out a soft laugh of what sounded like disbelief as he looked down at the letter again. Then he seemed to compose himself as his smirk came back on.

"Well, what can I s-" he started, only to be interrupted when Judy took a leap into the couch to hug him.

He let out a yelp of surprise (and maybe pain) before he laughed and hugged her back.

"Congratulations!" Judy exclaimed into his shoulder as she still held him tightly. "I knew it, I knew it!"

Somewhere in that disbelieving laugh of his, she thought she could hear him say thanks.

"How does it feel? How does it feel?" she said excitedly as she rolled off him and into a sitting position next to him in the couch.

"Like you broke fifty of my ribs," he answered and rubbed his chest with an exaggerated look of pain.

"Oh, come on, knock that off," she said, even though she was laughing, and drummed her paws against his shoulder in a pace that would impress the fastest of drummers. "Tell me, Mr. Wilde. You're the first fox to ever be accepted into the Zootopia Police Academy! What are your feelings about that?"

She held an imagined microphone in front of his face, her voice deep as she impersonated an imagined journalist. Nick chuckled and shook his head. It wasn't often Judy saw that smile on his face - the one that had not even a single trace of smugness in it.

"I don't…" he began before he started over again. "I feel… I'm not sure. Give me a moment to figure that one out."

He looked down at the letter again. Turned it over to see if anything was written on the other side. Judy rested her chin on his shoulder so she could also take in the letter. They both were silent for a minute, each of them reading the letter one more time.

"Officer Nick Wilde, huh?" Judy finally said in a hushed tone, unable to stop grinning.

"It still sounds weird when you say that."

"Well, seems like you better get used to it."

For a moment, the corners of Nick's mouth curved up into a smile again. Then it disappeared, his face instead showing such a mix of emotions that Judy couldn't read it anymore.

"You know," he said quietly. "That… that first time you suggested I should become a cop. Or rather, when you gave me that application..."

He fell silent for a moment. Even though they had talked about it many times, Judy still felt something reminiscent of a cold stab in the chest every time she was reminded of that day. She looked up at him without saying anything.

"It made so much sense in that moment," he continued. "And later I couldn't even understand why it had made sense. It felt more like some stupid joke. Of the two horses walk into a bar kind. Fox officer Nick Wilde at the ZPD? It sounds just as dumb as… as…"

"As rabbit officer Judy Hopps…?"

Nick laughed. That loud, genuine laugh that you seldom heard from him.

"Almost as dumb as that, yeah."

Judy gave him a playful jab in the arm while she was still laughing.

"Then we'll be dumb together!"

"I like that," Nick said.

Then Judy's ears moved as she for the first time noticed a sound from the kitchen.

"Oh, shoot, the tea!" she exclaimed, leaping out of the couch to rush over to the stove.

She took the pot of boiling water off the hot plate and poured it into her mug.

"We have to celebrate this!" she said, turning back to him, holding her tea mug in both paws. "How do you celebrate this kind of thing?"

"You tell me," Nick replied. "You're the one who has gone through this before. This is my first time!"

Judy chuckled and put down the mug on the table.

"There wasn't really much of a celebration when I got accepted to the academy," she said. "Except for myself, there wasn't really anyone in the family above the age of nine that felt happy about it."

"Hmm, yes." Nick looked thoughtful. "I guess we'll just have to celebrate for the both of us then!"

"We'll celebrate our future partnership!" Judy exclaimed excitedly and fell down in the couch next to him again.

"Well, that's assuming a lot, isn't it? Even if I actually graduate, we don't know if-"

"Don't kill the mood, officer Wilde, or I won't get you any donuts tonight!"

"Donuts? Are we really going down this path, Carrots?"

"I say we are! Lots of donuts and tons of coffee so we'll stay awake for a buddy cop movie marathon. Come on, it will be wonderfully cheesy!"

"I hate to admit that I actually like this idea."

They both glanced at each other and started to laugh. Judy took a sip of her tea before she patted Nick on the arm.

"You deserve this," she said. "I'm so proud of you, Nick."

"You know," Nick said slowly after giving her a smile. "That was the word I was looking for before. For once in my life, I actually feel proud."

Chapter Text

48 hours later II

Continued from chapter 3

The artificial night lights of Zootopia flashed by outside the window and only made the inside of the police car seem even darker. Just like how the noise of the city made the silence between the three mammals more profound. Fangmeyer's cheerful chatter over at Cliffside had ceased as soon as they got into the car. Now she was silently focusing on the road, a frown on her face as Judy glanced at her through the rear-view mirror. In the backseat, Judy and Nick looked terribly small in the car meant for mammals far larger than themselves.

Judy blinked and shook her head as it once again felt strangely heavy. As if the muscles in her neck had lost their strength. She had tried to calculate just how many hours she had been awake, but when you've been awake for that many hours, that kind of calculation is quite difficult. She glanced over at Nick. Even though his head was turned away from her to gaze out the window, she could tell he looked just as tired as she felt. At the same time, the frown on his face made Judy wonder if his mind was still as active as ever, even when he was tired to the point of exhaustion. When he somehow noticed her gaze, he still had the energy to give her a small smile.

"Hey," she said. "You okay over there?"

Nick's gaze lingered at her for a moment before he let out what sounded like an amused sigh.

"Just tired, Carrots."

"Just that, huh?"

""Well, that and still trying to figure out what on earth we actually saw in that asylum."

"Hmm, yes."

"I've been a cop for eight years," Fangmeyer said, making them both turn their heads at the sudden interjection. "I've seen some weird shit in this city. But this… those crazed mammals... I've never seen anything like it."

She slowly shook her head, not taking her eyes off the road.

"To quote the chief: what a mess," she added.

Judy nodded silently, even though Fangmeyer couldn't see it. The past two days had passed in an insane blur of events. Somehow they had actually managed to crack the case of the missing mammals. And at the same time, so many questions remained. Questions that Judy had decided her exhausted mind better deal with some other day. At the moment, Judy had a hard time remembering what those questions even were. All that really mattered now was that they had done what they set out to do. That and the fact that soon she'd finally be able to sleep. She leaned back with a sigh, her mind still trying to figure out how long she had been awake.

When Nick nudged her shoulder, Judy at first assumed only a second or so had passed since their conversation.

"Hey, Carrots..." His voice seemed strangely distant.

"Wake up, Hopps!" Fangmeyer almost shouted from the front seat, making Judy sit straight up with a start.

Fangmeyer gave her a big grin while Nick rolled his eyes.

"The cop cab has arrived at your destination," he said, gesturing at the window to show that they had stopped outside Judy's apartment building.

"Oh, wow..." Judy mumbled and tried to rub the worst of her tiredness out of her eyes. "Guess I'm even more tired than I realized."

"Almost like you've been running around for two days without sleep or something."

"Hah, it almost looks like you did the same, slick."

They both laughed softly.

"Anyway," Judy said, clearing her throat as she noticed the look Fangmeyer was giving her. "Thanks a million for the ride, Fangmeyer!"

"Don't mention it", Fangmeyer said and remotely opened the huge car door that would have taken Judy way too much effort to open on her own. "Sweet dreams, Hopps."

"Heh, thanks. And Nick." Judy paused for a moment as she turned to the fox. "You'll come to the station tomorrow, right?"

Nick scoffed.

"I already told you - yes!"

"It's just that we did this together and-"

"I know."

"...it's important that-"

"I know."

"If you're that worried, I can just lock this slippery fox of yours up for the night," Fangmeyer said cheerfully. "Make sure he doesn't go anywhere."

Nick and Judy both turned their head to the tiger. Fangmeyer laughed at the expressions on their faces.

"It's a joke. Come on."

"Right," Judy said, trying to squeeze in a chuckle.

"Now out you go so I can drive foxy here wherever he needs to go," Fangmeyer added, nodding at Nick.

"Um, sounds good," Judy said. "Well, good night, you two."

"Night," Fangmeyer said, turning her attention back to the wheel, as if Judy had already left.

Judy and Nick looked at each other in silence for a few seconds.

"See you tomorrow, officer Hopps," Nick finally said with an amused, if tired, smile.

Judy nodded with an equally tired smile before she jumped out of the car. After a few steps out on the pavement, she turned around and gave Nick a gentle wave right before the car door closed again and the car drove off. She watched it disappear around a corner at the end of the street. For several moments, she stood there, alone in the city night, still looking in the direction of the car she could no longer see.

The door creaked and the light from the hallway shone into the room. Nothing had changed in Judy's new home since the last time she had been there. The blanket on the bed was still wrinkled and thrown to the side, in a way that reminded her of just what kind of mood she had been in when she got out of that bed. The strange smell from the greasy walls was still there and her alarm clock was still standing on the desk, pointing out to her just how late it was. She sat down on the edge of the bed and tried to remember what life had been like the last time she had been in this room. It felt like she hadn't seen it in months.

Finally, her exhaustion overtook her and she fell backwards into the bed. This maneuver wasn't quite as comfortable as she had hoped, and she groaned as her utility belt dug into her spine. Unbuckling the belt, she rolled around and let it fall to the floor, where it landed with a thud. With her face now buried in the sheets, she really didn't want to get out of that bed again, though a part of her mind reminded her that her uniform was probably both quite dirty and quite smelly. Then her ears perked up at the sound of a muffled voice coming from the floor.

"...365 days a year since I was twelve!"

Judy crawled to the edge of the bed and peered down at the belt. Gently, she picked it up and rummaged through its pouches until she found the carrot-shaped pen that had been activated as it hit the floor.

Turning it around in her paw, Judy sat still on the bed and just looked at it. When had she forgotten about this pen? When had she forgotten that the only reason Nick had followed along on this whole thing was because she had blackmailed him into it? She frowned. Had Nick forgotten about it too? Or was that her putting too much faith in this strange new friendship? But he hadn't even mentioned it since… Actually, she couldn't remember the last time either of them had talked about it. Her frown disappeared and she smiled softly to herself, mostly in disbelief at the entire situation she had suddenly found herself in.

Then the pen almost slipped out of her grip as she once again was close to nodding off. Judy shook her head, trying to keep awake long enough to at least change into something more suited to sleeping in than her uniform. There were so many things her mind needed to process, and they needed to be processed some other day. Things like this strange friendship (was it a friendship?) between a cop and a con artist. Things like how she wasn't sure how to handle this whole blackmailing business, or the fact that she, an officer of the ZPD, had evidence to put a lawbreaker (and a friend) in jail. It all just had to wait. She got up on her feet, put the carrot pen on the desk and looked for something comfortable to sleep in.

After having put on a t-shirt and deciding that a shower could wait until the morning, Judy paused, right as she was finally about to go to bed. In the darkness of her room, the carrot pen shone with an unnatural light as it reflected some of the light of the city that shone in through the window. Judy hesitated for a few moments before she picked it up again. Her thumb hovered over the pen's play button, as she wondered if it was better to not to hear that recording again. She hesitated for just a few seconds more. Then she pressed the record button instead, knowing that it would immediately erase the previous recording on the simple device.

"Thank you, Nick," she said. "For everything."

Chapter Text

The green hills and fields of Bunnyburrow looked slightly distorted through the truck’s grimy windows. Judy watched the passing landscape in silence. It was a view she had grown up with. A view that had always equaled home to her and that hadn’t changed in the slightest since she last saw it. And yet, it looked strangely different now. As if those memories didn’t quite belong to her. As if it hadn’t been her, but some other Judy Hopps that had grown up there. A Judy that still hadn’t moved to Zootopia. A Judy that still hadn’t made a bad situation even worse with some thoughtless words at a press conference. A Judy that still hadn’t given up on her dreams.

In the driver’s seat, her father hummed along with the music on the radio. They hadn’t talked much since he picked her up at the train station. A hug that had lasted a little longer than usual and a worried glance or two were the only indications that he knew things weren’t alright.  

“I love that song,” he suddenly said, nodding at the radio, just as the song in question started to fade out. 

“Me too, dad,” Judy answered without averting her gaze from that familiar yet alien landscape. 

Right before the song faded into silence, it was interrupted by a short jingle. Judy’s ears twitched at the sound and tried to break free from where they were stuck between her back and the car seat. Her father had listened to the same radio station for all her life and she knew what that jingle meant.

“You’re listening to ABC Bunnyburrow 94.7 and it’s time for the news!” said the radio announcer that had been working at the radio station for as long as Judy could remember. “Another attack by savage predators in the city of Zootopia today. A zebra sustained severe injuries and two other mammals minor injuries. Ever since our very own police officer from Bunnyburrow, officer Judy H-”

Stu turned the dial on the radio. He fidgeted with it for a moment with a frown on his face as he tried to find a good station. 

“I prefer music,” he simply said when he found a station he apparently was satisfied with.

“Me too, dad.”  

Out of the corner of her eyes, Judy could see that her dad was looking at her. Neither of them said anything more though. It wasn’t until they pulled up in front of the Hopps family home that Stu opened his mouth again. His jaw was left hanging in what would normally be a rather comical sight as he tried to come up with something to say.

“I’ve really missed you, hun,” he finally said, almost mumbling it, and shut off the engine. 

Judy gave him a smile.  

“I’ve missed you too, dad.” 

“Judy’s back! Judy’s back!” 

Despite everything, Judy couldn’t help but laugh a little when they entered the hallway and heard the chant from a whole group of kits. Some of them were Judy’s younger siblings and some were the kits of her older siblings. Judy didn’t even have time to put down her suitcase before three of them tried to hug her at the same time. 

“Oh, hi everyone!” Judy exclaimed as she both tried to hug them back and wave at the ones that hadn’t immediately pounced on her. “So nice to see you all again.” 

“You’ve been gone for-ev-er,” her nephew Jim shouted.

“What’s Zootopia like?” someone behind her asked at the same time.

“Is it true you are not a cop anymore?” one of her brothers said just as Judy turned around to see that it was her sister Jenny who had asked the first question.

Things didn’t get less chaotic from there on. Judy tried to answer the many questions she got and give attention to those who demanded it. All the while trying to avoid talking about the exact things they were asking her about. More family members in the house noticed the commotion and came down to greet her. This was of course how she had grown up. With this chaotic mess of family members all talking at the same time and not a single moment of peace or quiet. But now this felt just as strangely unfamiliar as the fields and the hills outside.

Her heart pounded and her head seemed to spin even as she laughed and tried to hug her older brother John while his daughter was climbing on her back. 

“I’m so glad to see you alright,” John said as he gently lifted the kit off Judy’s shoulder. 

“Yeah, we saw you on TV!” his wife, whose name Judy couldn’t remember at the moment, interjected before Judy had time to answer. “At that predator riot thing. I got so scared watching that!” 

“Judy was on TV?” Jim asked.

“Oh, it wasn’t a riot,” Judy said with a smile that she hoped looked genuine. “I’m fine, it was perfectly safe, John.” 

“Uh, right,” her brother said, looking a bit abashed. “It just looked kind of dangerous, you know. With all those… large, angry mammals. Zootopia is a dangerous place these days.”

“Not a place for a rabbit to be if you ask me,” his wife filled in. “You're safer here. Good call coming back, Judy.”

“What was dangerous? What was?” Jenny asked, pulling on Judy’s arm to get her attention. 

“Judy was on TV?” Jim asked again, much louder this time. 

Judy took a deep breath as her mind tried to sort out all the voices talking at the same time. 

“Kids, kids!” Stu said loudly and held out his paws. “...and adults... Judy’s been on the train all afternoon. Let her rest for a bit.” 

“Oh, uh, yeah, that’s actually a really good idea, dad,” Judy said, giving her dad a look of gratitude that she wasn’t sure he understood. “I’m actually exhausted. I hardly slept at all last night. So I might just go right to bed.”

“You do that,” John said and gently untangled Jenny’s grip on Judy’s arm. “Don’t bother waiting for mom, she’s off to town with a whole bunch of the younger ones. Tommy, Taylor and Tessa’s band are playing at the school tonight.”  

“Alright,” Judy said with a chuckle. “I’ll talk to her tomorrow. Dad, you said I could sleep in my old room, right?”

“Right, yes, exactly!” Stu said. “Uhm, we had to put some boxes and stuff in there. But not to worry, there’s still enough room for you, hun! Your mother prepared with some fresh sheets too.”  

“Great. Thanks dad. Good night everyone! I’ll see you all for breakfast.” 

Judy waved to the crowd of family members and grabbed her suitcase. Several of the kits followed her when she headed towards her old room. She had to say good night to them a few extra times before they realized that she wasn’t going to change her mind about going to bed.

Even after that, It still took her a long time to get to her old room. Not because it was far off, but because she kept bumping into more and more of her family. There were more hugs, more conversations and more questions that Judy dodged in ways that would’ve made Nick proud. She was just talking with another one of her in-laws when the thought of that fox suddenly popped into her mind. It made her lose her smile for a second. When asked about it, she said the same thing she had said to them all: that she was exhausted from the train ride and the lack of sleep. It wasn’t exactly a lie. It just wasn’t the whole truth.

It was with a sigh of relief that she finally reached her old room and closed the door behind her. That smile she had been keeping up ever since she got out of the car disappeared immediately. She sank down on the floor with her back against the door. For a few moments, she just stared down at her own paws. Then she raised her gaze to actually look at her old room. Unlike the fields and the hills, the room had actually changed noticeably since she last saw it. Her chair and desk were gone, probably claimed by one of her younger siblings. Her old posters (mostly police themed) had been carefully rolled up and put in a paper bag next to the bed. And like her dad had mentioned, the room had turned into a makeshift storage with bags of old clothes and boxes piled high against the wall. 

Maybe it was just to distract her from other thoughts that Judy looked at the boxes one at a time. They were all carefully labelled. Most of them with labels like “Old DVDs” or “Kitchen stuff”. But at least three of them had “Judy’s stuff” written on them with what looked like her mom’s handwriting. Judy assumed it was her old books and other belongings that had been too heavy to bring along when she moved to Zootopia. The plan had initially been that she would return and bring more of her things back to the big city as she got more established there. Funny how plans can change. Funny how plans can come crashing down on you.

Judy scoffed at that dark thought when she suddenly noticed that someone, a kit presumably, had been drawing on her boxes with crayons. One of the childish drawings was of a rabbit with a bright smile, dressed in a blue uniform with a golden badge on her chest. The kit had written JUDY with crude letters next to it, in case there were any doubts who the drawing was supposed to depict. Judy smiled for a few seconds at the drawing, even though it was a sad reminder of how things had changed for the worse. Strangely enough, looking at that drawing made her think of Nick.

Or maybe that wasn’t so strange. That fox had popped in and out of her mind daily for the past few weeks now, for many different reasons. This time it was because she suddenly remembered the all too accurate prediction he had made about her and her stay in Zootopia. When he had told her that her dreams were just that: dreams. When he had predicted that she would end up broken and depressed with no choice but to go back home with her “cute fuzzy-wuzzy little tail” between her legs. 

“I guess you were right about me,” she said quietly, addressing her mental image of Nick.

Outside, the green hills and fields of Bunnyburrow were turning a golden orange in the dying sunlight. It looked just like all the other sunsets she had seen through that window through the years. And yet… it looked strangely different. Judy shook her head. Nick had told her that she would fail and end up back home. He never told her that sometimes that home would never really feel like home again.

Yeah, I'm back! Kind of. I've actually been writing on a longer Zootopia fic on and off this year. I might never finish it, but at least I can still finish depressing one-shots like this one occasionally! 

Chapter Text

Two weeks after chapter 11, and references to chapter 7

Zootopia was changing. Nick couldn't quite put his finger on just how it was changing, but he could see it everywhere. He saw it in how an impala opened the door for him as he exited the grocery store. When held up a paw to shield his eyes from the sun, he somehow saw it in how the mammals moved on the street. Somehow, he could even smell it in the air.

Not even a month had passed. Not even a month since just about everyone in this city had looked at him with nothing but fear and suspicion. Not even a month since Bellwether was arrested and a city on the brink of collapse woke up to a shocking and confusing truth. And now it seemed to be changing faster than Nick had ever thought possible.

At first, he had told himself that he was just imagining things. Things never changed this fast, he told himself. At least not for the better. Things almost never changed for the better in his experience. But still… he shot a curious glance at the armadillo and the wolf who were having a casual conversation outside a coffee shop. If he had learned anything these past few weeks and months, it was that the world could still surprise him after all.

He sniffed the air. It had started to dawn on him why even the air felt different. It was the fear. For weeks, the smell of fear had been so strong in the city that Nick sometimes felt like he was walking through a thick fog. It had been everywhere. For the first time in his life, he had envied mammals with a less keen sense of smell. Even now, he could still smell fear. But what had been a thick fog had gradually turned into more of a thin mist.

Nick shook his head as he wandered down the street. He wasn't sure what to make of it all. Zootopia had always been a broken place. With the whole nighthowler crisis, he had assumed it would be more broken than ever for a long, long time. But apparently, he had been wrong. And the world had surprised him. Again. Now Zootopia somehow felt… less broken. It reminded Nick of the sigh of relief Judy would let out when her painkillers kicked in and the pain in her stitched up leg finally faded a bit. She was still in pain, but just being in less pain was enough to bring a tired smile to her face. Nick let out a sharp exhale of amusement at the far-fetched parallel his mind had made between Judy and Zootopia.

His mind was still preoccupied with these thoughts when he walked down the rickety metal staircase that took him below street-level. He put down the bag of groceries and used both paws to open the heavy door. The door let out a sharp squeak from its rusty hinges as it opened to a tunnel-like corridor. Two weeks had passed since they came here, and that corridor had become a familiar sight by now. Two weeks since he started sharing a basement with a bunny. Nick chuckled to himself as he fished the keys to their room out of his pocket. Speaking of change…

Judy lay on her back on the old couch when he opened the door to their shared room. Her wounded leg rested on a pillow and her ears were comically dangling from the edge of the armrest. She smiled and looked up from the book she had been reading.

"Hey, you're home!"

Nick let out a snort of amusement. Like he always did when Judy referred to that dark, tiny place they were temporarily sharing as home.

"Hey," he replied. "How was work?"

Judy sighed and put down the book on their sorry excuse for a table: a pallet propped up with cinder blocks.

"Boooring. I hate desk-duty. It drives me nuts. I just want to be back in the field, you know? Do some actual work."

Nick snickered.

"You've been back at work for, what, a week, miss Restless?"

"Yes, well, it feels like it's been months. Today I thought I was going to panic and just run away from the desk out of pure boredom. I had to remind myself that I'd just get even more desk-duty if I started running and ruined my leg again."

"Impatient bunny."

Nick took the few steps through the room needed to reach the stove.

"I need some coffee," he added. "Do you want some?"

"No thanks. You think caffeine is the answer when I'm this restless?"

"Good point. Some tea then?"

"We have tea down here?" Judy raised her head from the couch, looking a bit more interested.

"We do now," Nick said, pointing at the grocery bag.

"Oh, nice! I do want some tea."

"Tea for the mammoth-mauled rabbit, coming right up."

"You're the best. Even if you just had to squeeze in another mammoth reference there."

"You know you love them."

Judy's only answer was to stick out her tongue at him. Nick winked at her and turned to the stove with a chuckle.

"Anyway," Judy said behind his back. "How has your day been?"

"Oh, nothing special," Nick replied as he poured water into a saucepan. "Just a… normal day."

"A normal day of pawpsicle hustles perhaps…?" There was a teasing tone in Judy's voice.

"...Do I have the right to remain silent?" Nick said in a similar tone and shot her an amused glance.

"You do. Actually, I wish you'd use that right the next time you think of another mammoth joke."

Nick laughed as he began unpacking the groceries. He didn't bother telling her that it had been months since he sold any pawpsicles.

"Maybe you'll be less grumpy about mammoths when you see what I bought," he said and held up a jar.

Judy turned her head towards him and then laughed.

"Blueberry jam!" she exclaimed. "Awesome. And is that toast?

"It is."

"Oh, tomorrow's breakfast will be deee-li-cious. Nice shopping there, mister!"

She gave him a thumbs up. Nick replied with a quick smirk. Then a silence settled between them for a while. Ever since Judy's stay at the hospital, the two of them had gotten used to being in each others' company in comfortable silence. Judy turned her attention back to her book, while Nick's attention turned to his own thoughts as he prepared both tea and coffee. For some reason, he still thought about her question about the pawpsicles. Had it really been so long since he sold those things? Had it really been months since he did any kind of hustling at all?

He hadn't told her about the pawpsicles. And the more he thought about it, the more he realized just how little he had told Judy about the past few months. The two of them had talked with each other every single day for weeks now. But he had barely told her anything of what he had done while the nighthowler crisis was at its peak. She had asked him, of course. She had very carefully tried to get glimpses of what he'd gone through. But he had always managed to dodge her questions. And he wasn't even sure why he felt the need to dodge them at all.

So she still didn't know that he, to his own surprise, had lost all interest in hustling. Even though that meant his daily income had dropped to basically zero. She didn't know about all the days he had laid low in the abandoned industrial parks of the Canal district, with nothing but rain and dark thoughts to keep him company. And she certainly didn't know that the application to the police academy she had handed him had made him question everything in his life. He stopped himself from letting out a heavy sigh as he watched the coffee slowly drip into the pot. Soon, the water in the saucepan started to simmer.

"Tea for the bunny," he simply said as he put down the cup of tea he had prepared on the table next to her.

Judy looked up from her book and gave him a smile.

"My hero," she said. "Thank you."

"The hero of Zootopia thinks I'm her hero? What an honor."

"Shut uuup," Judy said with a frustrated laugh. "I hate that the media keeps using that nickname! It's so stupid."

Nick snickered as he sat down on the only chair in the room with his cup of coffee.

"Now you're just being humble. Like a true hero."

"I'd roll my eyes at your attempts to provoke me," Judy said. "But that would be rude when you've been so kind and made me tea."

"I'm glad my efforts are appreciated."

"Besides," she added in a more serious tone. "If anyone deserves to be called the hero of Zootopia, it would be you. Not me,"

Nick was silent for a moment. Then he scoffed.

"That's not true."

"It is," Judy simply said, as if she was just stating facts, before she turned her attention back to her book again.

There was another silence between them. Nick took a few sips of his coffee (which was far too bitter). Judy turned a page of her book and then let out a pleased hum when she tasted her tea. Nick turned his gaze to the network of pipes in the ceiling and listened to the rhythmic sound of the drops from the leaking pipe as they fell into the pot on the floor. Then he let out a chuckle as he shook his head.

"What are you snickering about?" Judy said with a smile as she once again looked away from her book.

"I just never thought I'd find myself in this kind of situation," he said.

"What kind of situation?"

"You know…" For some reason he found it difficult to put his thoughts into words. "This… All this… The kind of situation where I'm making tea for some bunny… who is a cop… who apparently is also my roommate. And she's trying to convince me I'm some kind of hero."

Judy laughed.

"Is it really that strange to you?"

"Well, I mean…" Nick shrugged. "Maybe not. But if someone had told me a few months back that I'd end up talking about blueberry jam and tea with my bunny cop roommate, I would have laughed in their face."

"How things change, huh?" Judy said, still laughing.

"They really do..."

"And deep inside, you know you love having a charming bunny like me for a roommate," she added with a wink.

Nick chuckled and wiggled his eyebrows at her in response, but didn't say anything. Instead, he took another sip of his coffee. He peered down into the coffee mug for a moment. As he watched the dark liquid, his mind once again drifted. He remembered that thick fog of fear and how it had almost suffocated him. He remembered his own dark thoughts while being alone in an abandoned factory. And he remembered a time when he thought the world could never surprise him ever again. Finally, he let go of those thoughts, took a deep breath, closed his eyes for a moment and allowed himself to let out that heavy sigh he had kept inside him for who knows how long. Judy gave him a puzzled look but didn't say anything.

"How things change…" Nick mumbled and smiled softly to himself.

Zootopia was changing. Nick couldn't quite put his finger on just how it was changing, but he could see it everywhere. It wasn't until now that he realized that he could even see it in himself.

It's been what, two years since the last time I updated this fic? And suddenly I felt like finishing an old draft I had lying around. And I see that the last time I updated I talked about writing a longer fic. I did write several chapters of it, but I'll probably never finish it, unfortunately. But hey, apparently I can still write scenes like this one sometimes!

Chapter Text

Two days after chapter 1, several weeks after chapter 18

“Alright, this is the last of ‘em!” Judy exclaimed excitedly, struggling under the weight of the heavy box. 

“Great, because I don’t think we can fit anything else in here after this one,” Nick replied as he helped her put the box into the back of the van they had rented back in Zootopia.

“Told you this van was the perfect size!” Judy said in a joking tone as they struggled to push the box further into the van. 

They both let out a sigh  of relief when the box was finally in place. Then they both regarded the collection of furniture and piles of boxes labeled “Judy’s stuff” that they had managed to squeeze into the van.

“Now that’s a job well done, mister!” Judy exclaimed after a moment and playfully smacked Nick on the arm.

“Ow,” Nick said automatically, even though it didn’t actually hurt. These days, Judy was a lot more gentle when she punched him like that.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Judy said in a playful tone and gently patted Nick’s arm. “I really should be kinder to my foxy helper when he has carried so many boxes and chairs for me this weekend.” 

“You should. Foxy helpers like me are hard to come by these days,” Nick replied with a wink. 

“Lucky me who found one then,” Judy said with a snicker. Alright, I think we’re ready to go. Just need to say goodbye to the family.” 

She had barely finished talking when the rumble of distant thunder made Nick’s ears perk. Rain had come and gone and then came again during their entire weekend in Bunnyburrow. And judging by the dark clouds in the distance, it seemed to be coming yet again.

“More rain,” he said, nodding at the clouds. “Is the weather always this unpredictable out here in Podunk?” 

For a brief moment, Judy scowled at him. Apparently she was getting tired of his running joke of getting Bunnyburrow and Podunk mixed up on purpose. Then she turned her gaze to the dark clouds and a smile returned to her face. 

“Unpredictable weather must seem like a weird thing for a city-fox like yourself, huh?” she said with that familiar teasing tone in her voice.

“I resemble that remark!” Nick exclaimed dramatically, a paw to his chest. “I’ll admit, I do tend to forget that weather works… differently outside the city. You don’t really have much reason to ever leave Zootopia when you’re a city-fox like me.” 

“But you still decided to come along this weekend, just to help a cute little bunny?” Judy said with a smile, that teasing tone now sounding a bit more serious. She continued before Nick had time to comment on her referring to herself as cute all of the sudden. “Really, Nick, it’s kind of touching. And kind of surprising, to be honest.” 

“Heh.”

He didn’t tell her, but no one was more surprised than Nick himself that he had spent his whole weekend out in Bunnyburrow. Just a few months ago, Nick would have laughed at the idea of him going to Bunnyburrow to help some bunny cop pick up stuff from her parents. Or actually, no, he wouldn’t have laughed. Because the thought of him doing something like that wouldn’t even have occurred to him. But a lot of things had happened in the past few months, and a lot of things had changed. Sometimes it felt like everything had changed.

One change that still surprised him was that the two of them had managed to share a small cellar room back in Zootopia for weeks without much trouble. But now Judy had finally found a new place to live. A place above ground. A place without leaking pipes. A place where Nick didn’t have to call in favors with some of his more shady acquaintances, to convince them to let him use the place just a little bit longer (he never bothered to mention that last bit to Judy). 

Judy had complained that her new apartment felt lonely and that she missed her “roomie”. But apart from that, she seemed to really like it. The only issue was that the apartment was mostly empty. When Nick had visited her, there was nothing there except for a mattress on the floor and whatever Judy had managed to pack in her small bag when she first came to the city. And that’s how Nick, the city-fox, had found himself in Bunnyburrow, carrying boxes for his former rabbit roomie and stumbling over rabbit kits while Judy’s dad explained every facet of carrot farming to him. Nick really didn’t know what to make of all of these changes. 

It really started to sink in just how unusual this situation was when they said goodbye to Judy’s family. Nick wasn’t a fan of long goodbyes, and now he had to say goodbye to what seemed like an endless stream of rabbits. They all called him by his first name and insisted on hugging him, even though he didn’t remember the names of even half of them. And he definitely wasn’t in the mood for that many hugs. 

“It was great to finally meet you, Nick!” one of them (Judy’s sister-in-law maybe?) said as she hugged him tightly.

“You keep Judy out of trouble now, you hear?” said another (one of her brothers?) as he gave Nick a playful smack on the arm. 

“Ow.”

“Why can’t you stay longer?” a tiny kit asked him.

“Well, I…” were the only words Nick had time to say before yet another rabbit hugged him.

After what felt like an hour of hugs and goodbyes, Nick finally got into the driver’s seat of the van and let out a quiet sigh of relief. A few seconds later, Judy got into the passenger seat.  

“Bye everyone! Bye!” 

Judy waved enthusiastically through the open window of the van. Nick tried to smile and made a scout’s two-finger salute in the general direction of the crowd of waving rabbits as he pulled out of the driveway. He could hear several young rabbits calling his name, but he didn’t look in their direction. Instead, he focused entirely on getting the van onto the road. Meanwhile, Judy even leaned out of the window to look back and wave to her family one final time. Nick shook his head with a smirk but didn’t say anything. 

Soon Judy got back into her seat. She fastened her seat belt, leaned her head back and let out a content sigh as they drove away from her family home. A sudden silence filled the van, and Nick struggled not to let out yet another sigh of relief. Judy looked up at him as he silently focused on the road. Then she burst out laughing. Nick gave her a quick glance before he looked back at the road. 

“What?”

“I’m sorry, I’ve just never seen you this uncomfortable!” she said, still laughing, and put a paw on his shoulder.

“Who says I’m uncomfortable?” 

“I do. Because you are. Was my family a bit too… intense? 

“Intense is… a word, yes. A word that could hypothetically be used to describe your family, yes.” 

“Heh, too many bunny hugs?”

Judy’s tone was still teasing and there was still a bit of laughter in her voice. But there was also a hint of seriousness in it. Nick glanced at her again and then shrugged. 

“Did I get about ten times as many bunny hugs as I expected to receive in my entire life? Why yes. Yes, I did. Still, a fox visits the home of two million rabbits and they just hug him and tell him to come back again soon? I could think of worse outcomes for that situation.”

“I thought of about a dozen worse outcomes before we even got here,” Judy said with a sigh. “But they really like you, you know. You should be proud.”

“Maybe I look uncomfortable when I’m proud.”

“Hah. Funny. Seriously though, mom was so enthusiastic when I told her I’d bring you along this weekend. And I nearly died of embarrassment when dad kept telling you how happy he was to finally meet ‘the brave fox who saved my little girl’. Ugh!”

Judy exaggerated her Bunnyburrow accent as she imitated her father and rolled her eyes at the memory. Nick couldn’t hold back a laugh. 

“What can I say, Carrots? I’ve never met a rabbit that I couldn’t charm into liking me. Present company included, of course.”  

“Of course,” Judy replied, rolling her eyes and laughing at the same time. “That roguish charm of yours. Our little bunny minds just can’t resist it.”

“Precisely. It’s a gift I have.” 

They both shared a laugh over Nick’s supposed roguish charm. It had become something of a recurring joke between them by now.

“Still,” Judy added, “keep this up and my family will soon make you part of the pack, whether you want to or not.” 

Nick could feel his ears twitch at her choice of words and he turned his attention away from the road for a brief moment to look at her. She merely looked back with a teasing grin, and he couldn’t tell if she had deliberately made a reference to his old scout story or not. So he decided to just give her a similar grin back. 

“Imagine that,” he said. “Two million rabbits and one fox. That pack sounds pretty, uhm…” 

“Wonderful?”

“Wonderful is… a word, yes. A word that is used to describe things.” 

Judy snickered. Outside, Nick could hear the low rumble of thunder again.

“Joking aside though,” she added after a moment. “Thank you again for sacrificing your weekend to come along on this trip and, uh, for putting up with my family. It would have taken forever to carry all this stuff without you.” 

“It’s no problem,” Nick said with a shrug. “Besides, I’m doing this for my own benefit, you know. After this, I’ll actually have a chair to sit on next time you invite me over to your place.” 

“Oh, come on,” Judy said with a laugh. “In ten years, you’ll look back with fondness on the memory of us sitting on the floor in my empty apartment, drinking tea.”

“Sure I will. And I’ll be even more fond of all the future memories when I don’t have to sit on the floor.”

“Har har.” 

Judy tried to say it in a sarcastic tone, but didn’t manage to completely hide her actual amusement at his comment. 

They spent some time talking about Judy’s new apartment. She had already planned in detail where everything they had packed into the truck was supposed to go when they reached the apartment. However, she changed her mind several times as they were talking, as new ideas kept popping up in her head. Nick wondered what the plan would look like when they finally arrived at the apartment. 

Gradually, the conversation quieted down as they settled in for the long drive back to Zootopia. The radio was playing Podunk pop again (a term that Nick had invented, and while he thought it was a both hilarious and creative expression, Judy didn’t find it quite as amusing). They heard the rumble of thunder again, closer than before but still quite distant. Nick made another comment about the clouds. Judy yawned several times, but denied that she was tired. They passed a sign that informed them that they were now leaving Bunnyburrow. Soon, the sun disappeared behind the approaching wall of dark clouds. Within a few minutes, raindrops started to fall on the windscreen.

“And here comes the rain,” Nick said.  

When he didn’t receive any reply, he glanced over at Judy and let out an amused snort. Even though she had been in such an energetic mood just a few minutes ago, now she had fallen asleep. A weekend with her family was apparently enough to completely drain her of energy, for better or for worse. 

“Oh, you bunnies,” Nick mumbled with a smirk as he turned off the radio to let her sleep undisturbed. 

Now the patter of rain and the rumble of thunder closing in were the only sounds Nick could hear as he kept on driving in silence. Beyond the veil of rain, he didn’t see much except for the empty road, as well as the fields and forests that told him they still had a long way to go before they reached the city. Much to his own surprise, Nick actually appreciated the stillness of it all. He chuckled to himself and wondered if this was yet another surprising change to add to the long list of recent surprising changes in his life.

Chapter Text

Continued from chapter 19. References to chapter 3, 7 and 16.

Judy remained asleep in the passenger seat, even as both the rain and the thunder soon picked up in intensity. Within a few minutes, spectacular lightning strikes darted across the dark sky, barely visible through the thick veil of rain. The windshield wipers struggled to keep the flood of water from the windshield and Nick was just grateful that no other cars seemed to be on the road this afternoon. The rain pelted the van with enough force that for a moment, Nick imagined that it was raining marbles. 

“We sure picked a great day for a road trip, huh, Carrots?” he said quietly to not wake up the sleeping rabbit.

Despite it all, Nick still felt that same odd sense of calm while driving through the rain. Even as he had to struggle to see anything at all on the road, there was a strange kind of stillness in this chaotic weather that Zootopia never gave him. He glanced over at Judy, who somehow still managed to sleep through the chaotic noises of the storm. Her ears twitched and perked every time the thunder made the whole van rumble. The rest of Judy remained firmly asleep and didn’t move a muscle. Nick let out a snort of amusement at the sight of these ears that seemed to have minds of their own. The owner of the ears let out a soft grunt in her sleep, apparently in response to Nick’s snort, which only amused him even more. 

It made him remember sitting next to Judy in a police car, after the two of them had been awake for 48 hours straight to find the missing mammals. Just like now, Judy had been full of energy until she suddenly… wasn’t. One moment, she was arresting the mayor and arguing with Chief Bogo about Nick’s contributions to cracking the case. The next, she sat down in the backseat of a cop car and almost immediately fell asleep. Only a few months had passed since that night. Somehow, in Nick’s mind it felt like some distant memory from long, long ago. 

Nick chuckled softly. Was he really comparing this weekend with the Hopps family with those bizarre 48 hours? It was a relevant comparison though, seeing how both events seemed to have drained Judy’s energy just as much. Were families really that exhausting? Nick didn’t really have much experience in the matter. Especially not with families with members numbering in the hundreds (or maybe millions, what did he know?). Automatically, his mind drifted from memories of police cars to Judy’s joke half an hour ago. The joke about her family making Nick a part of the pack. Two million rabbits and a fox. It had been a joke, of course. From both of them. At the same time, there was something about that joke that made Nick not feel like laughing at all. As if the thought of two million rabbits and one fox actually appealed to him on some level. Was he really that desperate to be part of a pack? Desperate enough that a part of him actually wanted that joke to be something more than just a joke?

Nick frowned. He did enjoy this surprising sense of calm that driving through the heavy rain gave him. At the same time, his mind wasn’t used to this. It wasn’t used to being trapped in a van in the middle of nowhere, with a storm raging outside and just him and a sleeping bunny inside. Nick heard himself let out a groan as he realized that for once, he had nothing but himself as company. For once, there was nothing to distract himself from his own thoughts. 

Well, this is annoying, Nick thought. Most of his life, he had made sure to not pay too much attention to thoughts and feelings that drifted through his head. They usually weren’t worth the attention anyway. Thoughts and feelings had mattered little on the streets of Zootopia. There, it was more important to just get through the day, and hopefully make some money along the way. What he wanted or felt hadn’t really been important. At least, that’s how Nick used to see it. Now that he actually had no choice but to listen to his own mind, he was surprised at the thoughts he found drifting through it. 

Thoughts like: When did I become a fox who goes on road trips to the countryside with a bunny cop? Thoughts like: Why is it so important to me to be part of a pack when I’ve managed my whole life without one? Soon, even more strange thoughts came racing through his mind. It was almost as if the news were spreading through his brain that Nick was finally listening to himself. So now the thoughts all came rushing in when he was finally listening. He wondered why seeing this sleeping bunny made him smile. He questioned why he had totally lost all interest in hustling, even as his income was running dry and money was difficult to come by when he didn’t do what he did best. Finally, all these thoughts seemed to gather together into one big thought: What am I doing with my life? 

Nick let out an annoyed grunt, quickly followed by a scoff. What kind of a question was that? What was even happening to him, asking such things? It was almost as if he was peeking at somebody else’s thoughts, because they sure didn’t seem like the thoughts of Nick Wilde. When had he ever bothered to think about what he was doing with his life? When had he ever cared about the future? The future had always been future Nick’s problem, and present Nick had never really cared much for that guy. But now things had… changed.   

Change. That word again. Nick frowned, even as he smiled softly to himself, resulting in a facial expression that Judy would have laughed at, had she been awake. All these things that had changed in such a short period of time, and he wasn’t sure what to make of it all. To suddenly be a fox with these kinds of thoughts in his head. To suddenly be someone who does and thinks things that would have been impossible for him just a couple of months ago. 

That dumb bunny sleeping next to him was partially to blame, of course. Nick glanced over at her and chuckled, even as his thoughts turned to those dark weeks when the nighthowler crisis had been at its peak. He remembered seeking refuge in the empty Canal District, to rest from the city’s fear and paranoia. He remembered laying low there for days at an end, with nothing but rain and dark thoughts as company. He had probably been depressed, confused and frightened. But what he remembered most was being angry. Angry at how everything he had learned about the city turned out to be true, right when he had started to doubt it. Angry at prey who crossed the street to avoid him. Angry at Judy. Not just because of that press conference and its consequences. But also because somehow, she had managed to shake him to his very core. Him, Nick Wilde, shaken to his core by some bunny cop. 

He wondered if she knew, that sweet, dumb bunny. Did she know then, did she know now, just how right it felt when she had handed him that application to the police academy? Of course, that feeling only lasted for a few minutes or so. Then everything changed for the worse and soon Nick had fled to the Canal District. There, among abandoned factories and canals choked with algae, his thoughts had constantly drifted to that potential future the bunny cop had shown him. A future that had felt impossible. A future where he actually did something good. Where there actually was some point to it all beyond getting through the day. A future where… where he was part of a pack. Nick took a deep breath and let out the air in a long sigh that he couldn’t even hear over the pelting of the rain. It was difficult to imagine that those days in the Canal District were just a few months in the past. How things change indeed. 

Nick, you moron, he thought. This again? Are you seriously going down that road again? Are you going to believe that life could improve and the world could be kinder than you thought again? You know you’ll only get disappointed. Again. Every time you start to think like that, the universe always finds a way to clobber you to the ground again. So don’t go there again. Remember, if the world's only going to see a fox as shifty and untrustworthy, there's no point in trying to be anything else.

Nick, you are so much more than that.

The words echoed through his mind. The words that Judy had said to him once, before he had even started to suspect how important she would become in his life. Nick leaned back in the driver’s seat and breathed in the smell of rented car and rain. Had he not been on the road in the chaotic rain, he would have closed his eyes for a few moments. Just to rest in the memory and the realization. It wasn’t that he really believed her more now than he had back then. But somehow, her words didn’t feel quite as impossibly wrong now.  

Soon, the worst of the rain passed. The deafening pelting of marble-like rain gave way to a softer pattering. The bright lightning strikes no longer zigzagged across the sky above them. Instead, the thunder rumbled in the distance behind them. Now, the wipers could finally clear the windshield properly and Nick could see more than just rain outside. The road ahead was still empty. It seemed like no one else in the entire world had been interested in journeying between Bunnyburrow and Zootopia that day. They were still surrounded by nothing but fields and the hills and forests beyond them. It almost felt like no time had passed at all. Then Nick spotted the distant glow of Zootopia reflecting off the dark clouds. They still had a long journey ahead of them, but at least they were well on their way.

Nick kept driving in silence for a long time. He softly hummed a melody he couldn’t quite remember to himself. Even though they were past the worst of the storm, the rain kept pattering on the windshield. It kept Nick in that strange sense of calm that he still couldn’t quite understand. Then his ears twitched when the soft melody of the rain was disturbed by a loud yawn from Judy. She stretched and blinked in confusion for a moment.

“Wow, I think I dozed off for a minute or two,” she said, rubbing her eyes. 

Nick glanced at her with a smirk. 

“More like an hour or two.” 

“What? Are you serious?” Judy exclaimed.

“Scout’s honor serious. We’re almost there.” 

Nick nodded at that distant glow of Zootopia that was much closer by now. 

“Oh wow.” Judy laughed. “I didn’t realize I was that tired. Maybe my family is a bit… exhausting after all.” 

“No comment.” 

“Haha. But I’m sorry, you must have been bored to tears, driving all alone in the rain!” 

Nick shrugged.

“It wasn’t too bad. I had some riveting conversations with myself to pass the time.” 

“Oh? Did I miss any interesting discussions between Nick and Nicholas?” 

“It was city-fox stuff,” Nick said with a wink. “You wouldn’t understand.” 

“Oh, I see,” Judy said with a smirk. “And here this li’l country bunny interrupted your city-fox stuff by waking up.”

“Very rude of her.” 

“Quite. Still, thanks for letting me sleep.”

Nick raised an eyebrow at her. Letting somebody sleep didn’t seem like much of a kind act for him. 

“I figured you probably only fall asleep in cars when you’re thoroughly exhausted,” he said. 

“Haha, yeah,” Judy laughed. “Like that time when Fangmeyer gave us a ride! Remember?” 

“Oh, I remember,” Nick said, almost to himself. 

“I was so exhausted that I barely managed to get up the stairs to my apartment,” Judy added and laughed at the memory.  

“Hmm,” Nick said.

Then they were silent. The pattering of rain that had seemed so quiet after the storm suddenly filled the van with its loudness. Nick watched as a drop of rain made its way down the windshield before it got caught by one of the wipers. The memory of that night was so clear in his mind. The asylum. The crazed mammals. The sense of apprehension mixed with exhaustion as Fangmeyer drove them home. The memory was so fresh in his mind, even as it seemed like it had happened to a completely different Nick.

“Hey, Mr. Foxy Helper?” Judy said after a moment.

Nick accidentally let out an undignified snort as he tried to laugh at the unexpected nickname. He looked over at her with a smirk, trying to come up with yet another joke about foxy helpers. Much to his surprise, Judy looked quite serious, even as she was smiling. 

“Is everything okay?” she added.

Nick let out a little chuckle and looked back at the road.

“Just tired, Carrots,” he said. “Unlike certain bunnies I won’t name, I didn’t have the luxury of taking a long nap just now, you know.”  

“Right,” Judy said with a giggle. “Just that, huh?” 

Nick frowned and shot her another glance. Something about this conversation felt awfully familiar. 

“Why do you ask?” he said. 

“You just looked very… hmm, pensive, I guess. Like you had a lot on your mind.” 

This sweet, dumb bunny… Nick appreciated this strange friendship the two of them had formed more than he could express in words. Still, if there was anything in that friendship he disliked, it probably was how quickly Judy seemed to notice any shift in his mood. Not to mention how quick she could be to point it out. Nick did not like the idea that someone could tell by his face what he was thinking. At least it was Judy and not some other mammal.

Nick’s gaze followed the windshield wipers as they scraped away a few drops of rain from the windshield while he tried to think of something to say. His instinct had told him to just make some joke. Some joke that would annoy her but still make her laugh. For some reason, he resisted that instinct. 

“Well,” he said without having a clue what he was going to say next. “I guess… Um, yeah, I do have a lot on my mind, actually.” 

He filled his lungs with air and let it out again in a long exhale. Just saying those words had been an effort. From the corner of his eye, Nick could see how Judy tilted her head in confusion. As if she had also expected him to just make some joke. For a moment, the van was completely silent again, save for the hum of the engine and the soft pattering of rain. 

“Anything you want to talk about?” Judy finally said. “Not that you have to, of course. But you know… if you want to. I’m a very good listener, you know.” 

She playfully pulled one of her large ears down over her face before letting it perk up above her head again, just to emphasize how good of a listener she was. Nick couldn’t help but laugh at the gesture. Then he couldn’t keep a smile off his face as they looked at each other. He still had that urge to just joke everything away. To say anything that would make her think of something, anything, that didn’t involve his thoughts or feelings. 

“Not sure I can put it in words, Carrots,” he said with a chuckle. “But I can try.” 

“Yes, try everything!” Judy exclaimed, almost singing, with her paws in the air. “Uh, I mean, yes, please do.”

Nick opened his mouth and then closed it again before any sound came out. He let out a quiet sigh and scratched his neck. Then he opened his mouth again, and this time, he actually managed to put thoughts into words.

Zootopia wasn’t far off now. The rain that had been like a storm of marbles was now barely a drizzle. A few rays of sunshine made it through a crack in the clouds. They rays made the skyscrapers of Zootopia gleam in a light that looked magical even to a cynical old fox like Nick. Far, far behind them, Nick could just barely still hear the rumble of distant thunder.