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Shortly after the first ceremony where Zuko officially freed the prisoners taken from other nations and made the first of the reparation payments, everyone gathered in Zuko's favourite garden. For all that they were at peace, the silent hostility and outright hate burning in the eyes of all but his friends, members of the White Lotus, and those who were simply glad the war was over, had unnerved and exhausted Zuko. He was hiding out by the turtle-duck pond, and he didn’t care if everyone knew it. He'd forgotten how it felt to be the subject of so much barely disguised contempt after mere weeks of friendship, and now the knots in his stomach and muscles were only just starting to ease up.
Uncle had brought out some tea in an attempt to help him relax, but he was content to just lie back in the early afternoon sun and listen to his friends talking around him. He didn’t want to think about the ceremony where the last of the Southern Water Benders would be reunited with Hakoda and the other Southern Tribe representatives. They’d still be in the hospital for a few weeks more as they gained muscle back after their decades of deprivation, but it would officially free them. Next week he'd supervise the first handing over of Fire Nation prisoners of war. Then those accused of war crimes.
Zuko shook his head. These few hours, he would steal from work. These hours at least, he could be Zuko and not the Fire Lord. Aang and Sokka could talk for everyone.
“ - and I went back to Xi'an, just to see if it was still there; it was a small place even back then. It was still there, mostly.” Aang's smile slipped suddenly. “Kuzon and his family had moved away a really long time ago, no one knew where. All anyone could remember was that it was just a few years after the Comet. Not why or even where.” He looked down at his hands, and his voice came quieter than before. “Even the official records office only stated that they moved. It's almost like they vanished. I guess I'll never find out what happened to Kuzon.”
“Aang,” Katara hugged Aang gently, “We're sorry. I can't even imagine.”
Sokka joined in on the hug briefly. “Yeah, it must be so awful. But,” his voice trailed off, “You know you're not alone, right? Did you ever think to ask those two over there?” He tipped his head over to where Zuko and Iroh were sitting. “They do happen to have access to a lot of things you don’t.”
Iroh nodded. “It should be simple enough if we have the family name and immediate previous lineage now that we know their place of origin.”
“But no promises,” Zuko added. “I don't want to get your hopes up for nothing. It has been over a hundred years, and records have been misplaced, lost and even changed.” There was a palpable pause as Zuko decided whether or not to continue on with a truth only recently learnt. But it was better to tell everything now, surely? “Sometimes people did just disappear. Whole families even. It's . . . what happened when . . . people objected to what the Fire Lord and the nobility said, or if people claimed friendship or kin from other nations, especially during the first decades. Opposing the Fire Lord? Why, that’s dissent and treason, and they were lucky if they just disappeared or were imprisoned. Far, far worse could happen to them.”
Tears pooled in Aangs eyes. With a wavering voice he asked, “They all might have died because of me? Kuzon, all his brothers and sisters, Aiyi Lan, Aiyi Jiangnu – all of them?”
“I don't know. It’s possible that they disappeared because you were an Air Nomad.” Zuko said before he hurried on, trying not to make Aang cry. “But that really is unlikely. They could have moved, there could have been an accident, they could even have gone into hiding!” What else could have happened? “Eruptions are frequent and autumn is typhoon season; if they moved in autumn they could have sailed into a typhoon. The family could have been split up to ‘prevent dissidents corrupting the next generation’ or something equally specious.
“Maybe it was because you were an Air Nomad, maybe it wasn't. Sometimes the Ash Records don't even give a reason, just names. Sometimes ages and descriptions.” The same family name, Bu, was listed for twenty-three people on that day's order. One of the worst orders was for Bu Xiao Bi, a 'spring solstice child'. The date of that order meant that she was only three weeks old at the most. “But I will look. And no matter what, you have to know that it wasn’t your fault. Anything could have happened, for any reason, not just for knowing you.”
He grips Aang’s shoulder. “None of it was your fault,” he repeats. He just hoped that Aang would be able to handle the news if anything was found. Some of the more detailed Records gave him nightmares and he didn’t know the people in question; Aang would be destroyed. He’d do anything to save Aang some of the shock.
“You have to know that the genocide was planned out thoroughly. Anti-Air Nomad sentiment was being spread around for at least ten years before the actual attack, Kuzon and his family would have chosen to be your friends in spite of all this knowing it would have been an unpopular choice at best.”
“Yeah. I chose to come with you Twinkletoes, knowing that my family would hate it, knowing that I’d become wanted just for being your friend. I don’t regret it either.” said Toph with a firm nod of her head. Katara and Sokka added in their own agreement, saying that they were willing to fight the Fire Nation for him even before they knew that he was the Avatar.
Aang closed his eyes. “Thanks.” Even if Kuzon's family hadn't died because of him, it would be small consolation. He'd lost so many people, everyone he'd ever known back then, that Zuko wasn't really surprised that Aang could still care so much about how one person had died. Guilt had always made him a restless sleeper. Maybe it was the same for Aang.
He really was brave though, Zuko noted, as Aang visibly pulled himself together and started talking with a smile again. “Aiyi Lan had the best stories though. Her father had studied at Ba Sing Se and told her all sorts of legends and tales, and she'd picked up more because of her job as a scrivener. My favourite was this really, really old one found on some tablets made before Ba Sing Se even became a real city.” He grinned, even bouncing a little as he started to tell the tale. “Before – wait, let me do this properly.” He sat a little straighter and placed his hands in his lap. “Before humans were little more than a thought in the minds of the Great Spirits there existed the Kachina spirits, the first spirits who awoke after the Great Spirits.
“The Kachina were content, all was pleasing to them. Yet there was one restless one: an ever-shifting being of Bones and Colours, of the Predator’s Hunt and the Prey’s Rest. Male and female all at once, yet neither, the One of Bones and Colours saw the beauty of the skies, of the oceans wide and the flowering earth and jealousy was born. That One was the creator of envy.”
Aang paused for a breath and Zuko caught himself leaning forward slightly, he’d never heard of anything like this before. “That One crafted a box wrought of the Bones of the Universe with the Snapping Maw of the Hunter for its hinges and all inlaid with the swirling snatches of flint, hawthorn and peach-berry wood. The One of Bones and Colours approached the Great Spirits with a smile as welcoming as that of the prowling tigerdile. ‘Oh Beautiful Ones, I have a gift for you. Will you not accept this small thing?’
“Trusting, the Great Spirits opened the box and were trapped inside by the strength of the very universe they had made! Though the One of Bones and Colours rejoiced to hold all the beauty of creation safe within, all soon began to mourn. Without Sun, Moon, Ocean, Earth, Air and the forgotten two, the seasons stopped. The sky above was naught but greyness. The air was still, aching with emptiness and grief. Those of the earth faded and began to wither unstopping. The waters that sang so sweetly fell silent and drained away.
“All was grey, only the spirits themselves showed life or colour, and the song of fury and loss was borne through the worlds of both Spirits and Material. It was the only sound to hear.
“From the north-western corner of what had been the Unending Ocean, a great dragon awoke. Its spine was the ridge of the island on which it had slept. First, Zhuyin just listened, the lamentations of the end of all things twisting their way down to her slow burning heart. She raised her head, shook her body and the mountains fell into the sea.
“The eyes of Zhuyin flared open and light came upon the world once more!
“Zhuyin the Candle Dragon, she of the eyes of shimmering silver and glistening gold – oh. Actually. Um, Zuko, I just remembered something.”
“What?” Zuko asked.
“It's just that I spent a lot of time in the Fire Nation before because the festivals were great and Kuzon was here, and even recently when we were travelling, you know?”
Toph chucked a handful of grass at Aang. “We know. We were there for the second bit.”
“Let me finish! I didn't notice at first, but Sokka and Katara did because they were being careful and they thought that our eyes would really stand out. They thought that we’d all be caught really quickly because of it. I told them that it was okay because you could sometimes find blue, green and grey eyes even on the smallest islands out to the west of the Main Island, the ones that you don’t see on the map.
“At least, that’s how it was. I only saw a few grey eyes, no greens outside the colonies. Even Hama’s eyes were so pale a blue they looked grey. I thought maybe things had changed because of the war and that the Fire Nation had killed my people, but the more I thought about it.” Aang was clearly hedging, though for what reason, Zuko didn't know.
After a pause where it was obvious that Aang was searching for words, Sokka said,“It’s the colour.” Everyone turned an incredulous look on Sokka, who promptly looked away and to the side.
Zuko’s hand flew up to protectively cover the scar whose redness had refused to fade, no matter how many different treatments Uncle had tried. “What about it?” The self-consciousness he still felt gave his voice a harsh edge that he hadn’t really intended.
“My idiot brother didn't mean your scar,” Katara said, annoyed affection in her voice, but before she could continue, Aang spoke up, probably hoping to soothe ruffled feathers.
“Thanks Sokka, I was trying to figure out how to ask without sounding stupid.” He huffed and looked back to Zuko. “He was talking about your eye colour. Even before the war, I don’t think I’d ever seen anyone with your eye colour before. There were stories about them and sometimes the grandmothers and grandfathers would talk about this blessed sage called Li Qin and how everyone knew he was favoured because of his eyes?” Aang's tone lilted up, as he raised his eyebrows.
Oh, they didn't want to know how he got his scar, that was a relief. This, he could talk about easily. Maybe if they asked another day when he wasn’t feeling the pressure of Ozai’s choices so much. He just couldn’t deal with their sympathy right now; there was so much else to think about, and so little time to just relax without being judged.
Zuko shrugged and said, “It happens sometimes. People used to think it meant you were blessed or cursed or special in some way. Phoenix-eyed, sun-eyed, dragon-eyed, Agni-blessed, dragon-child, true-eyed,” He snorted. “Of course, they never said what it meant to have ‘true’ eyes, did it mean see further? See more? See what? The truth?” He ticked off other names on his fingers, “Spirit-touched, fire-touched, summer child – there are probably more names. Some are island specific, some are widespread; some are older going back thousand of years, some are only centuries old. People say it's a sign of great beauty, or strength of body or spirit. Some say it's a sign of some special skill. Others say it means you're doomed to die young, your fires too hot for a human's mortal body to tolerate.”
Aang leant forward eagerly, “What does it mean?”
Zuko took a sip of tea.“It means that our eyes are of a lighter gold colour than most.”
“It really doesn’t mean anything at all?” Aang asked.
“No. But a little under thirteen hundred years ago there were two Fire Lords in quick succession with these eyes. They died within eight months of each other, I think. The previous dynasty had been very popular, ruling for four hundred and twenty-three years. The founder of the following dynasty openly admitted to assassinating Fire Lord Zetian, last of the Wu line, so that he could take the Throne. Add in very poor harvests coupled with three tax increases in five years before the earthquake that directly and indirectly killed the two Fire Lords in question and rumours started to circle about the fires of the Family burning too brightly, that it was time for a new line or a cadet line to take over.
“Fire Lord Xi Feng wouldn't stand for people trying to slander her father and grandmother's names and rules, especially over such a trivial thing. Why not use a legitimate complaint? She could respect that, but not nonsense about cursed gold eyes. As an act of good faith and to prove she was listening to the concerns of the people, she ordered a survey conducted of the eye colour of every citizen born or living.”
He took a sip of his tea to ease his dry mouth, “She worked very hard to stabilise her dynasty actually. She took on two husbands, looked the other way when her most powerful supporters committed certain crimes, significantly lowered taxes for the poor. She did execute some of the cadet lines down to everyone over the age of ten and fostered the rest to keep the power within her line, but in all fairness, some of them really were trying to overthrow her.”
Iroh interjected, “In hindsight, she was one of the most important Fire Lords of the millennium. The study of Fire Lord Xi Feng would takes weeks in order to fully understand her reign. The most important thing to know is that the memory of her cruelties lingered in the minds of many. Everything she did, no matter how good, was tainted by her struggle to hold the Throne. It can be hard to live down the mysterious disappearance of two eleven-year-old Royals – her cousins - who who were next in line to the Throne. But back to the point of the conversation.”
Zuko nodded. “That survey went on for a full ninety years, every year of her reign, and in the end?” He paused here deliberately, smiling as Aang got into the spirit of the moment and made a begging gesture so similar to Momo that it had to have been unconscious.
“Nothing. The most common colours are browns, ambers and dark golds like Uncle's and Azula's. There are a few grey eyes as well. Aside from blues, greens and greys of mixed heritage children, light gold eyes are the rarest by far; maybe only one in ten thousand is born with them. Male and female; bender and non-bender; rich, poor and everything in between; spiritual and not; long-lived to stillborn; sickly and hale. There's nothing special about light gold eyes, and the only real thing that increases the chances of a phoenix-eyed child being born is marrying someone with light gold eyes or marrying into a family where the phoenix-eyed are known to have been born.
“I think that I was the only person born with them in three or four years by the time of my birth, and I’m pretty sure they were from Mum’s side of the family.” Dryly, he added, “And because of that and all the stupid rumours I was forced to learn the entire story behind the survey and several of the major superstitions about my eyes so that I could logically disprove anything said about me if it were based on my eyes. Possibly the only good thing Azulon ever did for me.”
“Well, maybe there’s some truth behind the stories then.” Aang persisted.
“Yeah, you were the first firebender we ever met, and your eyes were so bright and different from anything we’d ever seen before that I thought that all firebenders would have gold eyes!” Sokka said.
“Then the more we flew north and the more Fire Nation people met we never saw anyone with your eye colour. Not for that entire trip north. We thought that maybe it was because maybe you were from the Islands or maybe because you were a noble or something. Then we met Azula, and she had gold eyes, and we thought they were the same shade as yours too, so that made sense.” said Katara.
“We didn’t really ask Aang about your eyes until we were trying to sneak through the Fire Nation because we’d seen no one else,” he crosses his arms in front of his chest, “with your eyes.”
Katara smiled, “That was when Aang told us about the phoenix-eyed and how they were lucky and could survive almost anything, and it really made sense. You survived everything at the North Pole when you should have been captured, been badly injured or worse.”
“You have to admit that you’re kind of impossible to stop.” said Toph, “And I haven’t heard everything yet.”
“When we thought about Azula we realised that her eyes were darker than yours, so it just showed that maybe your eyes were really special, and that’s why you managed to keep following us wherever we went, but were hardly ever injured no matter how hard we tried to hurt you or stop you.” Sokka said wryly. “We’ve seen enough freaky things that it seemed really likely.”
Zuko sighed, “Or maybe I overworked myself almost obsessively, hunting down many, many leads to try to find or predict your movements. After realising the general pattern it was easy enough to keep going. I actually was injured quite often, but kept on going rather than resting properly. I didn’t want to let you or anyone else know that I was weak enough to be injured to you.”
Aang had to persist, “But there are just so many stories, and nearly all the ones I’ve heard of say ‘phoenix-eyed’ like it was just something that everyone knew was true. It makes so much sense when you think about it, Zuko.”
Iroh nodded. “The only reason they’re most commonly called ‘phoenix-eyes’ is because of Xi Feng’s census.. Slightly ironic, to name them after a phoenix when they are only as special as they were born to be. Then there’s the popular Legend of Li Qin. For Toph, Katara and Sokka I shall explain briefly. Li Qin gained a phoenix as his lifelong companion for his famed benevolence and justice was such that even the spirits would come to him seeking judgement.
“All the other names arose out of all the myths, sayings and beliefs about light gold eyes. Every island, perhaps even every district could give you a story about those with light gold eyes. After all, an official census might say one thing, but knowing someone is a different matter. Let us create a person, we shall call him Sen. Sen, your father’s friend, who makes sweet cherry blossom cakes every solstice and gives them to children for free, he has light gold eyes. He’s kind, generous, he never gets sick. He was gored in the chest by a komodo-rhino when he was five years old and survived against all the odds! He must have some sort of favour from the spirits, just as the stories say.
“Did you and your friends not think that Zuko was special just because of his eyes and everything he has done and survived? No matter what logic says, the tales hold a firm grasp on hearts and minds. The phoenix-eyed are blessed or cursed; black cats will resurrect the dead if they jump over a corpse; a north facing house brings ruin; a baby that cries at night is tormented by ghosts and hitting someone with a broom will bring misfortune upon the attacker.”
“There are still a lot of people who still think we're born different somehow: destined to stand out from the rest, and everyone knows the stories and rumours. The fact that I have them isn't going to help and I know that stories will start to spread, but it's really nothing special. I have light gold eyes, Uncle's are amber, yours are grey, Sokka and Katara's are blue.”
Aang deflated, “Aaawww, but I thought that I could meet a phoenix because of you, or that you would be so good at mediating and sorting things out, just like in all the stories, that we could fix everything really quickly!”
“Sometimes it's too easy to forget that you were born over a century ago, but that you’re only twelve. Not many people your age remember the older stories any more, and sometimes you bring up things everyone has forgotten entirely. You know that I’m terrible with people, so why d’you suddenly think that’ll change?”
Sokka smirked, “Well, now that all these stories are starting to spread again," he tilted his chin up and affected the accent of the Ba Sing Se elite, ""he blessed phoenix-eyed Zuko will convince those idiots in the Fire Nation to go to along with your plans.”
Zuko couldn’t help the slight frown that creased his brow, or the way that his shoulders started to tense up again, it sounded so much like what most of his family had done recently: playing into a myth, creating a myth, setting themselves up as Agni’s ‘Chosen’. They weren’t deities set on the world to do as they wished. As tempting and as harmless as it would be to use a little story to make things just a little easier, the twisting in his stomach just made it seem like a bad idea. He set down his cup. “Well, if we’ve time for talking nonsense like this, then Aang’s got enough time for another firebending lesson.”
“Be careful not to do anything at sunset, a phoenix might fly out of the sun and grace you with its presence!” said Toph.
“No, no, I know, you’re going to suddenly come into your own as a sage and you’ll be able to cross between this world and the Spirit World as if it were nothing and you’ll be serving tea to the spirits in no time at all!”
“Or maybe you’ll find out why you’re called true-eyed. You’ll wake up one morning and realise that you can see a path to another world in the sky, you’ll walk up it and find yourself in a new world where you’ll be named a Great Spirit!”
“Or maybe you can turn into a phoenix or a dragon once you’ve stopped growing.” Aang grinned, “When that happens Appa and me’ll race you. First one from the Palace to the Western Air Temple gets all the loser’s fire flakes for a year.”
“Only if I get to ride Sparky. That’d be fantastic.” added Toph with a wicked smile on her face. “Only blind person to ever ride a dragon. Or a phoenix.”
The laughter Zuko had been trying to keep down bubbled up and over. “Toph, a phoenix is barely half the size of an ostrich-horse, at best. Even if such a stupid thing happened, you’d squash me if you tried to sit on me. But if, for whatever reason, I end up turning into a dragon, you’ll be the first I’ll offer a ride to. Okay?” he said with a grin.
“I’m shocked nephew, that you wouldn’t allow me the first honour.”
“The one time I tried to take you up in a balloon you turned grey, and I thought you were going to throw up! You'd gripped the side so hard it took almost a minute to get to you relax after we’d landed again! You wouldn't enjoy riding dragon-back if you couldn’t handle a balloon ride.”
Everyone stared at the typically unflappable man and Iroh turned red, “Nephew, we agreed not to speak of that again.”
“Looks like I get to keep my spot.” Toph grins and takes the tea Iroh offers.
Aang grins slyly, “I could always give you flying lessons. All you need to do is watch and copy Momo.”
Iroh blanches and sets the tea pot in a hurry. “I shall take wisdom from the Earth Kingdom and keep my feet on the ground.”