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Eliott turns nineteen on a Tuesday.
He turns nineteen on the Tuesday that officially marks the end of their busy exam period, marks the end of study sessions bordering on the edge of late-nights and early mornings, marks the end of too many minutes spent apart from Lucas and all the simple ways in which he's able to distract Eliott from cramming as much information into his brain as possible.
It's a huge relief in more ways than one that his birthday lands on such a day because he doesn't have to worry about anything other than what Lucas has planned for them next. He can whole-heartedly enjoy his day.
And what a day it had been so far.
Lucas had woken him up that morning with breakfast in bed, balanced a tray full of carefully prepared food on his knees while Eliott rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and then there had been kissing, lots and lots of kissing and hushed whispers of happy birthdays and I love yous along bare skin as Lucas pressed him into the mattress, fingers trailing nimbly along his spine and Eliott had fisted his hands into the sheets, tilted his head back, exposing the column of his throat as Lucas' touch sent him stumbling over the edge over and over again.
They'd sprawled out atop the sheets afterwards, limbs entangled and heads pressed close together as the sun cast warm, golden hues over their sweat-dampened skin and Eliott remembers wanting to lie there with Lucas for eternity, wanting to spend his first twenty-four hours as a nineteen year old beside Lucas in a bed of rumpled sheets and they very well could have if Lucas hadn't had so much planned for him.
It had made Eliott's heart ache at the time and that same ache still throbs rhythmically in his chest as he thinks about it now, thinks about all the places Lucas took him today from strolling through old record stores to having a late picnic lunch at La Petite Ceinture as the sun dipped lower and lower, painting the sky in a mirage of soft pinks and yellows.
A part of Eliott thinks that all of it had been leading up to this moment, right now in which he's surrounded by a roomful of people he's grown to call friends, a roomful of people he loves without no bounds and a roomful of people whom he knows loves him back just the same.
It's a stark contrast to how he's celebrated his birthday in previous years, almost a gentle reminder of how far he's come and that maybe, just maybe he should be proud of himself for all the things he's managed to achieve since meeting Lucas.
Because there's been a lot of things and Eliott doesn't think for a second that he would have been able to do all of those things without Lucas by his side, without Lucas' words of encouragement and silent gestures of support.
He owes Lucas so much, loves Lucas so much but can never fully put into words just how much.
Eliott smiles softly, smiles because every, single cell in his body lives and breathes Lucas, yearns for Lucas whenever he's not around and he looks across the crowded room, looks past the wisps of cigarette smoke hanging in the air and rests his gaze on the back of Lucas' head, his brown hair sticking up haphazardly in every direction.
It's the first time in the entirety of the day that they've been apart from each other, that Lucas hasn't been glued to his side and at first, Eliott had appreciated Lucas' need to give him time and space to goof around with Idriss, Sofiane and his other friends but now, Eliott just wants Lucas tucked into his side again, doesn't think he can spend any more minutes apart from him.
He watches as Lucas whispers something to Yann before hopping down from his stoop on the kitchen counter and then Eliott loses sight of him, loses him in the crowd.
Eliott pushes off from where he's leaning against the wall beside Idriss, "I'm going to go and find Lucas, okay?"
"Mhm," Idriss smiles knowingly, his eyes glinting with humour and pats Eliott's shoulder. "Of course you are."
Eliott huffs out a half-hearted fuck you to his friend before making a beeline to the kitchen, Idriss' laughter drowned out by the pulsating beat of the music but Lucas isn't in the kitchen, he's no longer milling around Yann, Arthur or Basile and Eliott frowns, feels off-balance because he just wants to be near Lucas again, wants to spend the remaining hours of his birthday with Lucas.
Baz seems to take pity on him however while Yann and Arthur remain tight-lipped about Lucas' whereabouts, muttering something about the surprise being ruined if they did so and okay, Eliott thinks that's fair enough but he can't think of what else Lucas could possibly surprise him with because this entire day has been somewhat of a surprise.
"He's in his room," Baz says matter-of-factly at the same time Arthur complains about Baz never being able to keep his mouth shut.
Eliott huffs out a laugh and thanks Baz for his honesty, tells him he'll protect him if Lucas tries to murder him later for ruining the supposed surprise and then he's off, sneaking down the corridor and slipping soundlessly into Lucas' bedroom.
And there's Lucas, hunched over something Eliott can't quite see in the dimly lit room, the only source of light being the bedside lamp.
"Hi," Eliott whispers, inching closer and Lucas almost comically freezes at the sound of Eliott's voice before he's composing himself and covering whatever's sitting on the bed with one of his blankets.
Lucas turns around, "Hi, birthday boy."
Eliott smiles, "Only for a little while longer."
Lucas hums, eyes flickering briefly to the glowing, red numbers of the digital clock sitting beside the lamp on the beside table before taking one, two, three steps and curling his arms around Eliott's neck, "Then we'll need to make the most of it."
"I think we already have," Eliott murmurs, settling his hands on Lucas' hips. "We've done so much today… you've done so much for me today."
Lucas smiles, almost shyly, "It's not over yet."
"I know," Eliott admits, moving his hands up Lucas' sides.
Lucas narrows his pretty, blue eyes, "Fuck, who told you? It was Yann wasn't it? I swear -"
Eliott chokes on a laugh, "No, it wasn't Yann. Baz did let it slip about some sort of surprise though."
"Traitor," Lucas huffs out a breath, knocks his forehead gently against Eliott's. "Did he tell you what the surprise was?"
Eliott shakes his head, presses a lingering kiss to Lucas' parted lips just because he can, "No but I'm guessing that whatever it is, it's that lump sitting under your sheets."
Lucas snorts, "How'd you manage to guess that?"
"I'm wiser way beyond my years."
"Way beyond your nineteen years, of course."
Eliott smiles, tucks a stray strand of Lucas' hair behind his ear and leans impossibly closer, "So what is it?"
Lucas' gaze falters for a moment and Eliott registers the sudden nervousness pooling in-between his cerulean blue eyes. It's strange to see Lucas so unsure of himself right now when he's spent the entire day being so sure of himself, being so sure in all the places and things he's treated Eliott to.
Eliott cups Lucas' face in his hands, "Lucas? You don't have -"
Lucas shakes his head, "No, it's just… it's your birthday present and I don't know if you'll like it."
"You got me a birthday present?" Eliott blinks, his mind getting caught up on the words because he can't remember the last time someone gave him a birthday present let alone planned out an entire day full of birthday activities for him. His parents had grown out of the tradition of presents on birthdays and Eliott hadn't really minded because he wasn't really sure what he wanted as a present either and it saved them all the hassle.
"I - of course I got you a birthday present, Eliott. It's your birthday, dummy," Lucas says softly, his lips brushing against Eliott's as he speaks.
"No, I-I just wasn't expecting it," Eliott breathes. "Do I get to see it?"
"What if you don't like it? It's kind of - "
"Lucas, I'm sure I'll love it, okay? Because you got it for me, you put the thought into actually getting something for me."
Lucas exhales and nods almost mechanically before stepping out of the circle of Eliott's arms and shuffling towards his bed. Eliott hovers over his shoulder as Lucas peels back the blankets to reveal what looks to be a large photo frame, encased in glass and there's something behind the glass of course but Eliott can't see it in the weak light, can't make out the shapes and figures.
Lucas picks up the frame carefully and turns back to face him, a nervous smile dancing on his lips, "Happy birthday, Eliott."
And Eliott swears his heart almost stops beating once he realises what the frame is holding.
Because it brings back a flood of memories, takes him back to a time in which he had no clue what was going on in his head, no explanation to account for his own actions but then those memories are replaced just as quickly as they come by Lucas' face, illuminated by the moonlight, his hands outstretched and waiting for Eliott's own to entangle with them and then there's the rain, pouring down around them while they kiss and kiss and kiss.
It's Polaris in the frame, enclosed in glass.
Each, individual frame of Eliott's storyboard has been enlarged and combined together like pieces of a puzzle to fit into the large frame and it looks like a work of art, almost. It looks too precious to touch and Eliott just feels dazed, feels so fucking emotional that Lucas… his Lucas did this for him.
"I - do you like it?" Lucas' voice sounds faraway. "It's Polaris, Eliott. The storyboard that you made… I know how important it is to you, how important it is to both of us and I just wanted you to have a bigger piece of it… I don't know, it might be kind of dumb but -"
"It's not," Eliott whispers. "It's not dumb."
"Really?" Lucas is fiddling with the hem of his button-down shirt, avoiding Eliott's face.
Eliott steps closer to him, places two fingers underneath his chin and tilts Lucas' face upwards so that their eyes can meet and then he leans down, closes the remaining distance between them and kisses him. Lucas gives back as good as he gets, parting his lips on a surprised oh before his hands are traveling, up and up and up until they're tangling in Eliott's unruly hair and deepening the kiss with a lazy flick of his tongue against Eliott's.
Eliott sighs into the kiss before pulling away, his eyes wet and a part of him feels embarrassed for crying, feels embarrassed for the tears that are now trickling down his face and gathering under the curve of his chin but then he remembers that this is Lucas. Lucas, who has seen him at his best and his worst and there's just no need to hide himself around Lucas. He couldn't even if he tried.
"Eliott?" Lucas whispers, his hands falling from Eliott's hair and landing on Eliott's face, thumbs sweeping over the tops of his cheekbones and brushing away the stray tears.
"I-It's beautiful, Lucas… it's amazing," Eliott finds the words to speak somehow partly because he can't stand the concern swimming in Lucas' eyes and partly because he has to tell Lucas how much he appreciates it. "I love it, I love you."
Lucas' face splits into a grin at that and Eliott watches as he blinks away tears of his own but they only serve to make his eyes look bigger and bluer if that's even possible, "I love you too, Eliott."
Eliott shakes his head, in wonderment, "I can't believe you did this… for me."
Lucas smiles softly, "I would do anything for you."
Eliott swallows past the lump in his throat, blinks back a wave of fresh tears, "Why?"
"What do you mean why?"
"I don't deserve any of this, Lucas. I'm not -"
Lucas interrupts him with a hard, insistent kiss to his lips, "You deserve all of this and more, Eliott. Okay? I just wanted your birthday to be special… to be something you'll remember for a long time, hopefully because I love you so much and I'm so proud of you. You deserve only good things, Eliott Demaury. Okay?"
Eliott wants to protest, wants to tell Lucas that he doesn't deserve him, doesn't deserve how much love he's feeling in his heart right now. So much, that he feels like it might burst but there's a bigger part of him that believes what Lucas is saying, a bigger part of him that urges him to realise that this is the truth, that this is his new normal.
He's not alone anymore, never alone.
"Okay," Eliott agrees, wrapping his arms around Lucas.
Lucas comes easily, tucking his face into the crook of Eliott's neck and Eliott buries his face in Lucas' hair, inhales his boy's usual scent of coconut laced with some sort of citrus and they just sort of exist like that for a while, standing in the middle of Lucas' unkempt room, bathed in yellow light with their arms around each other.
"Are you having a good birthday?" Lucas asks after a few moments, his voice muffled by Eliott's shoulder.
Eliott snorts, "What do you think?"
He feels Lucas smile before he answers, "I think you are."
"Lucas?"
"Hm?"
"Thank you," Eliott whispers hoarsely. "For today. I don't think I've celebrated my birthday this much since I was a kid and I wasn't… I wasn't expecting all of this today but it's been the best day. The best."
Lucas moves back, just slightly and peppers kiss after kiss along Eliott's jawline, his eyes shiny with moisture, "That's all I wanted."
Eliott smiles at him and tucks Lucas back into his rightful position against his chest. They can still hear the muted sounds of the music booming in the living room, it almost reverberates through the walls, through their interconnected bodies but neither of them make any move to return to the party and when Lucas asks him whether they should go back after a long while of just standing there, holding each other and swaying gently to the distant music, Eliott asks for a few more minutes where it can just be the two of them.
And Lucas agrees without question, burrows even closer to Eliott and later, just minutes before his birthday comes to an end and they're cutting the cake, layered in swirls of chocolate and vanilla and everyone's singing at the top of their lungs, Lucas places a steadying hand on the small of his back and whispers in his ear to make a wish before he blows out the candles.
So Eliott blows out his candles in a single breath, wishes for a lifetime of this, a lifetime of minutes with Lucas by his side.