Chapter Text
“He’s so adorable.” Kihyun mutters under a shy breath, staring at the source of many of his sleepless nights right through dozens of tables full of students. The brown haired Slytherin can only thank Merlin Im-precious-man-Changkyun still hasn’t caught him ogling after probably two hours straight in the same position, because that would be really embarrassing. And yet Kihyun’s doing basically nothing to hide his moon-size crush on the small, cute, nerdy Gryffindor student. He really can’t help it, Changkyun’s such a perfect eye-candy! His beautiful lightly-tanned face with those adorable chubby cheeks Kihyun is seriously dying to pinch, those irresistible lips as red as the prettiest roses, those brown eyes Kihyun finds hard not to stare into because of how deep they look despite being hidden behind those big round glasses and that blonde hair Kihyun wants to run his fingers through to feel the soft texture under his fingertips. Kihyun likes to call him ‘Tiny’ inside his mind, but considering he’s only a millimeter taller than Changkyun, that description isn’t very accurate. Changkyun, however, is the cutest little puppy-like man the Slytherin student has the pleasure to lay his eyes on in his 17 years of life.
But Kihyun doesn’t only like his face or his body, or those irresistible pinchable dimples the younger has when he smiles, or those puppy eyes and little pout he has when something he doesn’t like happens. No, Changkyun’s much more than just a regular pretty face. It’s the long hours he spends in the library studying and the prominent bags under his eyes after an exam. It’s his perfect score in all subjects and how humble he stays even though he’s probably the smartest student Hogwarts ever had. It’s that smile he has ready every time someone talks to him and how willing he is to help someone who truly needs it. In few words, everything about Changkyun’s perfect and Kihyun loves everything about Changkyun.
God damn it, he’s already so whipped for the slightly younger man than his heart instead of ‘thump thump thump’ it does ‘Kyun Kyun Kyun’ all day, all night, for the past four years.
“Can you please, for Merlin’s sake, shut your mouth? It’s too early for your embarrassing monologue about ‘oh how in-love I am with Im…”
“SHHHHHH! Shut up, Minhyuk!” – Kihyun hisses, covering the mouth of his super annoying and super loud best friend. Next to him, the brunet notices his other best friend, Hyungwon, recovering from his eternal sleepy mode, oh so ready to mock their shorter friend.
“Sorry Ki, but you’re thinking out loud and it’s seriously kind of disturbing hearing your thoughts about him.”
“Shut up, you, bad friends!”
Kihyun rests his head on his arms and lays them on the table, seriously considering finding new friends and dropping the annoying ones he has now. Judging how counterproductive that idea is, Kihyun gets back to staring at Changkyun and thinks what a beautiful man this world has the fortune of having. As always his little crush is talking with his friends, that Hoseok guy Kihyun is seriously starting to dislike for how much he likes to touch his Changkyun, and the Hyunwoo guy who makes it almost impossible for everyone to even talk with Changkyun for how overprotective he is, and that Jooheon guy who is always all over his crush probably all day straight. If Kihyun’s totally honest, he doesn’t truly hate them, but he won’t deny it either that he really wants to trade places with one of them. At least he’s content Changkyun’s not one of those guys who doesn’t let people from other houses near, as Hyunwoo’s a Hufflepuff, Jooheon’s a Ravenclaw, and Hoseok’s a Gryffindor like him, totally different from his own group of friends, as both Minhyuk and Hyungwon are Slytherin, same as himself.
But Kihyun notices in Changkyun’s little group there’s no one from Slytherin. And Kihyun thinks about how much he wants to be Changkyun’s first Slytherin friend even though friendship isn’t exactly what the brown haired man is aiming for.
Kihyun sighs in resignation as he really doubts Changkyun even gives a shit about who Kihyun is. But why wouldn’t he? Kihyun’s the popular and a little bit egocentric Slytherin Quidditch captain, a very talented player, well-liked by both girls and boys, confident, and very very handsome, and that’s only what his fanatics says. Their words, not his.
Changkyun, however, has never shown at least a little bit of interest in Kihyun. The only time he has seen the younger Gryffindor boy in a Quidditch match is when he’s cheering for Hoseok (Gryffindor Quidditch team’s captain) or Jooheon (Ravenclaw’s pitcher) and other than few classes together, there’s nothing really connecting them. Kihyun shouldn’t be feeling down right now, after all, he has never made a move on Changkyun before or at least tried to talk with him, but damn wants to and now staring at their table feels so painful.
“You should just ask him out, Ki.” – Minhyuk pats his shoulder, bringing him back to reality. Kihyun shakes his head, disapproving of the idea instantly. There’s a lot to lose if he confesses; his dignity perhaps.
“At least ask him out in a date, then.” – Hyungwon insists, almost pushing Kihyun out of his chair. The smaller boy glares at his two friends but they don’t give a shit about his cold stare, instead pushing him so hard that he almost fall ass first on the floor.
“Follow him and ask him out!”
“Take your opportunity!”
“C’mon, man up!”
“You can do it!”
“Go, Ki, Go!”
‘Follow him?’ Kihyun thinks, not understanding what his friend meant, glancing once again at the table where Changkyun was initially sitting some seconds ago, only to discover than the boy, indeed, is walking to one of the bookshelves, probably to pick out a new complicated book. Changkyun’s alone and this is probably one of those very few chances the brunet has to talk with his long-time crush without one of his friend interrupting. So, Kihyun takes his friends’ advice (it’s not like he has other option, though. There’s no way Hyungwon and Minhyuk would let him get back in the table without talking to Changkyun first) and walks a little bit behind Changkyun, taking a long breath to calm his erratic-beating heart and at the same time trying to find all the courage that suddenly left his body alongside his confidence.
Kihyun follows silently Changkyun into one of the least crowded parts of the library, surprised the younger even knows such a place exits, probably looking for something extremely advanced that Kihyun won’t ever understand. The Slytherin student notices Changkyun stopped walking and is finally choosing a book, examining it right there, probably looking for something specific. Kihyun takes this as his lifetime opportunity and walks faster to stand behind the boy. Changkyun, the Slytherin boy notes, is too concentrated on reading to realize someone is standing behind him, so trying to grow a spine, Kihyun clears his throat.
Changkyun turns around half surprised, half scared and Kihyun loses his shit once their eyes meet for the first time in all those years pinning after the younger boy. His heart’s beating in a way people would think as unfeasible, damn, even himself find it impossible even though that’s exactly what he’s feeling right now. The air’s getting stuck in his lungs making it impossible for him to breathe. His cheeks turned scarlet due to his nervousness, as well as his hands practically squirting sweat and shaking unexpectedly, and abruptly the room is so hot and so small for both of them. Fuck, Changkyun doesn’t even know the power he has over Kihyun.
“Yes? Can I help you?”
“I-I-” – Kihyun finds himself losing the ability of talk and form a coherent statement, and suddenly all that matters are the pair of brown eyes staring at him. Kihyun knows they’ve always been pretty, but were they this deeply, agonizingly, hypnotizingly beautiful all the time? Kihyun shakes his head trying to distract his mind by other things than the boy’s curious eyes and attempts instead to remember what he should be saying now. He can’t ruin this now – “I…”
Changkyun tilts his head in confusion, a gesture Kihyun seriously has been in love ever since he laid his eyes on the younger Gryffindor and fanboying so hard internally because he can finally see it right in front of him. God damn it, Changkyun’s really the cutest little puppy in the world!
“I-I… I need… I need the book… b-behind you.”
“Oh, this one?” – Changkyun takes a random book he has never seen before and passes it to him once Kihyun nods in agreement, trying to cover his hands with his robes, so the younger won’t see how nervous he is right now.
“…T-Thank you.” - Kihyun takes the offering book and walks away, completely wishing to die or at least wishing he could just disappear from this world.
The walk-of-shame back to his friend’s table feels almost torturously slow, he senses all eyes on him despite knowing fully well that’s not the case. That conversation with Changkyun feels so vague and meaningless, but considering those were the first words exchanged between them, Kihyun feels triumphant over all that embarrassment. “I’m the biggest idiot on earth.”
Hyungwon stares at Minhyuk, Minhyuk stares back, both raising one of their eyebrows and chuckling a little bit under their breaths, not that Kihyun really pays attention or cares about the weird interaction between his two friends right now, though.
“Agree.”
“Agree x2.”
“Agree x3.”
“Agree x4.”
“Can you two shut the fuck up?” – Kihyun hisses, quite irate, in his mind considering throwing that unnecessarily big book on their stupid heads but as he doesn’t want to be kicked out of the Quidditch team for inadequate behavior, he restrains himself and just glares at the two idiots in front of him.
“Geez Ki, what did you do and why are you carrying an advanced potion’s encyclopedia when you hardly can understand the class now?”
“Is this a potions’ book?” – Kihyun looks at the unmoving object in disgust, throwing it harshly against the table as if the book burned his skin. From all subjects potions is the one Kihyun has hated the most in the whole world in all these years he spent in Hogwarts… why should he ask for a potion book to his crush? Damn – “I’m such an idiot.”
“Agree.”
“Agree x 2--”
“Don’t start it again!” - Regret runs all over his body after losing such perfect opportunity to talk with Im Changkyun, but thinking how politely the younger acted towards him makes a weird bubbling feeling combust in his heart. Changkyun’s definitely the most special guy in this school. Kihyun notices said boy walking fast to his table and packing his belongings desperately, telling his friends something before leaving them behind. The auburn haired man’s eyes follow curiously every move he boy makes until he’s almost half out of the library. And then, a brilliant idea comes into his mind, getting up as well and walking fast to catch the younger’s pace, totally ignoring his friend’s astonished gaze at the back of his head.
“Changkyun!”
The name resounds loudly in the hallway and the blonde boy, as well as a dozen other students, turns around a little bit startled for being called in such way. Despite the way Kihyun called his name and the uncomfortable attention the older man brought to him, the younger stops so Kihyun can reach for him. Kihyun doesn’t want to think how cute his confused face looks right now, and before he could lose his mind and courage again, he lets the words out.
“I’m sorry, I know you probably don’t know who I am or what business I have with you, but- but, I’ve seen you around, and I admire you a lot, and I know I sound like a crazy stalker, but I’m not, okay?”
‘… Ask him out, ask him out, ask him out, ask him out…’
“And—and, my words may sound as nonsense right now, but- but-”
‘… Ask him out, ask him out, ask him out, ask him out…’
“But-- but--”
“Kihyun.” – The brunet snaps his head up, surprised and euphoric, after all I'm Changkyun knows his name! Kihyun could die happily now only knowing the younger actually knows about his existence – “I know what you’re trying to say.”
“Really?” – Kihyun asks surprised, almost with his heart in his throat.
“Yes, really. And my answer is yes.”
“Really?!” – Kihyun feels like jumping uncontrollably right there, Changkyun said yes, Changkyun said yes! I'm-perfect-man-Changkyun said YES!
“Yes, really. I don’t have any problem with tutor you.”
‘Wait what?’
“T-tutor me?”
“Yes, that’s what you wanted to ask, right? No offense man, but you aren’t exactly the type of guy I would expect to see in the advanced side of the library, so I was waiting for you to say something.” –
Changkyun offers him one of the purest smiles Kihyun has ever seen on him and he seriously could be appreciating it if it wasn’t for his heart crashing into millions of pieces.
“Hahaha yes… tutor me… t-that’s exactly what I wanted to ask hahaha…but only if you are available… I-I don’t want to… I don’t want to inconvenience you.”
“Nope, it’s perfectly fine with me. Around six tomorrow is okay for you?”
“S-six is f-fine… Thank you Changkyun.”
“No problem! See you tomorrow then Kihyun, have a class I really need to go, like, right now.” – Changkyun pats his shoulder in a friendly manner and walks away, leaving a very confused Kihyun behind, with a heart beating as fast as lightning.
‘The biggest idiot in the universe, indeed.’ Kihyun thinks shaking his head, but he’s happy nevertheless, given the perfect excuse to spend more time with his beloved Gryffindor boy.
As he gets back into the table, his friends are staring at him as if Kihyun grew two new heads while walking into the library again. They’re raising their eyebrows and looking at him with those eyes they
have when they want some juicy gossip.
“So, I have a funny story about how now Im Changkyun is my tutor.”
They break the gawk they had on Kihyun’s face to stare at each other as if they don’t believe what the smaller boy is saying and when they turn around again with teasing smirks Kihyun knows he made a big mistake telling them.
“We are all ears.”
Kihyun knows they’ll tease him until they are old and their hair turns grey, but in the end he tells them everything.
And he regrets it so much.