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Ever since Vanya moved out whenever she had a dream which involved her going home, she always dreamed of going to the mansion, the Umbrella Academy. The dreams were always different sometimes it was a mixture of a memory from her past, sometimes it was something absolutely made up, but if she was home or went home. She always ended up right back in her old little room. Maybe it was because she lived there the longest or because she had the most memories from the place. Maybe it was the only place she truly took as a home.
This is your home too, Ms. Vanya.
It didn't feel like her home, but then again, she really didn't know how a home should feel. She never put much thought into it. She used to have a room as small as a shoebox back in the house so anywhere new was an improvement.
Vanya vividly remembered the first time she moved out of the mansion and came to her first little broom closet apartment in the worse neighbour imaginable. If she wasn't numbed by the pills half of the time she was worried someone would come and murder her in the middle of the night. As her at the time landlord opened the door and showed her the one room which was supposed to be bedroom kitchen and living room all together and which was the only thing she could afford from her part-time jobs salary, she tried to calm herself by the fact that a home wasn't about how big a house was but about how happy it was. Sadly, with time Vanya realized her home was missing that as well.
After that first shitty place, she moved twice. Once after she saved some money and decided it would be better for her finances to live closer to her work, and the second time when her landlord kicked her out because he decided he wanted to give the apartment to his new girlfriend's sister.
Her latest place was hers for almost six years now. It wasn't that much bigger since her second one, but it was a sky-high improvement from the first one. She was pretty sure she had mice in the walls in her first place. She used to hear them scratching late at night.
Still, even so, Vanya never thought all that much of her place. There were pros and cons. She liked that it was close to work to get there on foot and far away from the Academy. She wasn't so thrilled with how terribly hot it was in the summer, but somehow it was freezing in the winter all the same. Some of her neighbors could have been better. She was pretty sure at least one of them was a convicted felon maybe two.
As for how the place looked, she supposed she never really got over the fact that she had so few things growing up. The best she could do was to have appropriate and necessary furniture in every room, her bookcase filled with the books she used to love as a child as well as new ones, and some little decorations to make it seem homier even thought Vanya couldn't help but see her apartment as rather gloomy looking. Maybe it wasn't the fault of the apartment but her own? Maybe she just made things look sad and awkward because she felt like that herself? Whenever she wondered about it for a while before she took another pill to swallow it without water and went to work. It seemed even more depressing if she thought of it like that.
In other words, Vanya tried to avoid thinking about her place, and if she did she didn't dwell too much on the whole home aspect of it. She didn't mind it that way as long as she could avoid thinking about it that way.
It was just a place for her to stay, sleep and eat and do things in the comfort of her personal privacy. She was mostly alone there which meant she could do whatever she wanted, and she was fine with it.
Then Five came back, then the apocalypse almost happened, then she had to learn to control powers she never would have thought she would actually have, then she had to deal with her emotional traumas and somehow learn to be a part of the family after she had spent years being told she wasn't. It wasn't hard, it was brutal and with every hitch, or fight, ever slip it felt like they would never get here. Never achieve this.
After months of the aftermath of the apocalypse, she finally had some sort of balance in her life, control over her newfound powers, somewhat of glimpses of confidence, and a family. Maybe she didn't need a home as long as she had all those other things. Maybe home was overrated, and something people really didn't think too much into. She had an apartment, where she could walk around in without pants that should be enough.
'What are you doing?' Vanya asked blinking as she woke up one morning to Five measuring her bathroom walls. Just like it was the most ordinary thing in the world. Over the course of last year, she got sort of used to the fact that he was back, but there was still some odd behavior to him he could not seem to shake.
'What does it look like I'm doing?' he asked without turning back to face her.
'Breaking and entry?' she suggested before she pulled her blanket higher realizing she slept with no pants on while Five was looking around her walls. So much for feeling comfortable in her own place.
'I'm measuring your walls,' he said before he continued.
Vanya sat up higher and brushed her face a bit trying to figure out why was he in her apartment so early in the morning. Then again, he was Five the reason could be literally anything. He was a strange creature by habit even before he spent a lifetime in solitude. Something she didn't like to think too much about either since she knew she was the person who made him rot there.
'What time is it?' she asked trying to find a watch. Didn't she have an alarm clock on her nightstand? She could have sworn she did.
'5.30,' said Five, and she groaned as if the answer gave her physical pain which it might as well have before she threw herself backward on the bed, 'Get a life.'
She pulled the covers over her and for a couple of blissful moments she let herself pretend he wasn't there, and she could rest. Having someone like Five back in her life could be challenging. At times she couldn't help but compare her new life to the old one from one year ago. Every time she did, however, she couldn't help, but stop because she knew this one was better because he was alive and safe here. Also, his company wasn't all that unwelcoming.
Vanya rolled to the side to look at him. He very captivated in his task, 'Why did you break into my place?'
He let out an annoyed sigh as if the idea offended him, 'You gave me a key, remember?' Given that he was 59 it only added to his image of an old grumpy and troubled artist. At least in Vanya's opinion, he looked like that since he got his actual body back.
'I also said it was for emergencies,' she reminded him of the fact he must have been purposely ignoring.
He continued to work on whatever it was he was doing, and before she finally decided to get out of the bed trying to maneuver the sheets around her waists while hopping to her closet for some pants.
She quickly checked if Five had his back to her before she threw away the sheets and put them on. Without waiting for him she went right over and made one for each so she could hoax him away from the walls and get to sit down and talk to her. Sometimes coffee was the only thing which would get through to him when he was in his zone.
It turned out he wanted to help her fix her walls and floors and in general do a remodeling of her apartment.
He made it sound as casual as possible, but Vanya could tell there was something else going on too. He was bored. He was almost sixty, and he had nothing to do in this life. He managed to help her with her powers, stop the apocalypse, and as far as she could tell made a shitty deal with the commission of which he refused to talk about with any of them. Now he was just wondering around the world with little to do, so he was trying to find something and kill time instead of people for once.
He should get a job not circle around her like she was a baby. But in the end, she liked the company, and she didn't have the heart to tell him to leave or give her space.
She knew she was probably only doing so to please him, but she agreed. What harm could have been done in something like that?
So Five started to come over every day and remodel her apartment. It was strange. Well, no. Not strange, but it was definitely out of the ordinary for Vanya to come from work and find him working on her tiles in the bathroom or working on her floors in the living room.
'Hey, are you stealing my alarm clocks?' she asked about a week since he started. Since then she lost countless of alarm clocks even though she was sure she left them on the nightstand. Never when she needed to go to work of course. Just on the weekends.
'No,' he said as calm as ever as he was enjoying the pasta she cooked for them as dinner.
She narrowed her eyes at him. She didn't trust him one bit especially when she caught him looking at her face the other day saying she looked more rested than she used to. It was true but still. She had a hunch her alarm clocks were probably buried under tiles in her bathroom or the floor.
Crazy old man
A sane person would have just told her to get some rest on the weekends. But then again whenever was any member of her family a sane one.
'What's that?' she asked as Five set two tickets on her table in the morning as she was making them breakfast. By that time Five had spent almost every night at her place sleeping on her couch at first and then graduating to her bed.
After a couple incidents of insomnia nightmares both of them proved to be better when they could sleep next to someone which was strange because Vanya couldn't even sleep properly when she was sleeping next to Harold or her other exes and Five's only companion during the night was Dolores who was a bit lacking on the whole breathing and moving.
'A small treat since you're letting me stay here,' he said as Vanya put a plate with pancakes on the table while eyeing the tickets. It was Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew.
She raised her brows, 'Is there something you're trying to hint with this?'
True be told Vanya heard of the new adaptations weeks ago and told Five about how she already been to that theatre a few times. So far she liked all of the plays they were a bit different from the classics but also alluring in her opinion. She realized that Five showed quite the interest as she spoke about the plays she saw so far so she shouldn't be so surprised he decided he wished to see the new one.
'Shouldn't I be the one treating you?' she asked, 'You are the one fixing the apartment.'
'Will you come then?' he asked sounding a bit impatient which caused her to roll her eyes.
Grumpy old man
'Well, if you ask so nicely,' she said before she smiled, 'As first dates go this would be a very nice choice,' she said joking a bit.
'Please, your neighbors would have a field day,' he said which caused her to grimace. The whole thing with her neighbors started a couple of weeks ago. There were plenty of people in Vanya's building but most of all the elderly. She never had many problems with them, and she thought they liked her just fine.
Her neighbor, Mrs. Jones, an elderly widower, from the first floor was a very chatty person. At least that was how Vanya would have described her because she wouldn't want to be rude. Well, she didn't want to be until the incident.
It happened when she held the door for her one day on her way from work. The woman thanked her and that could have been the end of is until she said, 'Dear, don't you think it would be more appropriate to find someone your own age?'
This caused Vanya to stop in track and watch the woman for a moment before she said, 'Excuse me?'
'Well, I do understand the appeal of an older man, but don't you think they should be reserved for older women? I am sure there are plenty of age-appropriate men out there,' said the old hag and then she looked Vanya up and down, 'or women.'
Vanya was honestly too stunned for a couple of seconds to say anything at all before she rushed after the woman stopping her from closing her room.
'Whoever I'm seeing is none of your business!' she snapped at the woman before she closed her door on her and stormed up the stairs. With her emotion no longer suppressed by those pesky pills, she often found herself experiencing them more profoundly and lacking to control them like a child would since they did not learn how to handle their emotions yet.
By the time she got into her apartment, she was shaking and so was the china in her kitchen.
'Are you alright?' asked Five looking at her worried. She was so upset that the first thing which popped out of her was, 'Do I dress like a lesbian?'
Needless to say, Five looked at her like she rather grew a second head than dressed like a gay before he continued to work on her living room.
'The boots,' he said after a moment, but given that he had a smirk playing on his face and wouldn't look at her, Vanya had no clue if he was for real.
It occurred to her only later after she calmed down and they were watching the news on the TV he brought her that she did not tell him about the whole incident with Mrs. Jones. Maybe she just thought he would get annoyed.
At least that was what she told herself as she rested her head against his shoulder watching the news grateful that he stayed over again. He started to stay over every night after that.
Because Vanya was trying to be more confident, and she was very offended for some reason, she purposely took Five's hand or arm if they ever walked together into her place with groceries just to piss her neighbors off.
Five would always roll his eyes whispering she was acting like a child before he would pull her closer sometimes even leaning to her ear making them look very coupley. Childish or not he was a sucker for pissing people off.
It should have been noted that by the age of thirty Vanya Hargreeves thought there wasn't much which could surprise her. She supposed it would natural for one to gain such an ability after you find out you had suppressed powers all your life by your dad and sister, dated a manipulative and vengeful psychotic man, caused the apocalypse a couple of times, and had siblings who used to be superheroes. So yes, by the age of thirty Vanya was almost certain there weren't many things which could surprise her. Then again Vanya never calculated with the fact that she herself could surprise her, or better yet her feelings could. Especially feeling she could have for someone she considered a brother.
They came to the theatre earlier since neither of them was fond of running late to places. She needed to use the restroom before. With how big the city was and how little did Vanya socialize even now, she was surprised to meet one of her colleagues.
Lisa played the flute for a little over a year with them. She never really spoke to her, but then again Vanya knew she kept mostly to herself. She still wasn't good with people at least not with the talking part.
'I see your gentleman friend brought you here,' she said with a smirk which told Vanya she was hinting something, and she was missing it.
Vanya looked at Lisa, 'What?'
'Well, I just didn't know you were into older men,' she said with a knowing smirk on her face.
The other woman blinked, 'I...what?'
'It's okay. I'm the last person to judge,' she said quickly, 'I actually dated one of my dad's business partners when I was nineteen and that was actually inappropriate so.'
Vanya watched her for a moment completely confused before to her absolute shock she turned around and looked to the direction of Five who was probably still waiting for her in the lobby. She didn't really think that...? Well, her neighbors did but what did they know? She and Five were just...her and Five. They were close and maybe they acted a bit too friendly at times, but never like they were a real couple only when they were faking it to piss up her neighbors but that didn't...mean anything, right?
Vanya shook head quickly, 'No, we're not...dating.' She couldn't help but growing upset about the conversation not even sure why.
Lisa's smirk faded a bit, 'Oh, not even seeing each other? You just look so...'
'So?' pried Vanya serious on edge about what her colleague would say next.
'You just look like you're really into each other, and could work out, so I assumed you could two were together,' said her colleague now looking a bit apologetic thinking she read it wrong.
'I mean you look really happy,' she said and shrugged her shoulders oblivious to the chaos of thoughts she created in Vanya's head.
She returned to Five with her head spinning from everything she started to think about. The absolute odd thing was that no one ever seemed to think Five was her father or something, they full-on straight went to older boyfriend or sugar daddy or whatever. It was understandable they didn't think they were siblings with the age difference and that they did not look like one another, but they never really thought they could be related only straight out together.
By the halfway to their seats, Vanya realized she had her hand hooked under Five's arms. It wasn't uncommon she did so, he always let her even if it wasn't to humor her neighbors. It was just the little something they sometimes did, kind of like she liked to put her head on his shoulder when they were watching the TV, how she liked to sleep next to him because somehow knowing he was breathing next to her made her sure she wouldn't turn to the White Violin again and end the world. It was just the little things they...did.
They took their seats.
Five smiled down softly at her, and she couldn't help, but find the smile lovely. His face maybe looked different but his features stayed the same. His smirk still caused her to shiver to know they were about to get in trouble, and his smile softened her front the inside. He might have looked older, but he didn't change in the things which mattered. Not all of those things were good, but she was grateful for each and every one of them.
They turned their attention to the play. It was charming in Vanya's mind. It was classic and the actors were very good.
She looked to the side just to steal a peek at Five as he watched it. He was no longer smile, but a strange voice told her that was because his smile was specially reserved only for her.
She didn't know how much time had passed since the play started but Lisa's words come back to haunt her.
You just look so happy.
She felt happy. She felt very calm and at ease ever since she wasn't taking the pills anymore and got a hang of her powers, but... with Five she felt happy.
Actually happy.
Because he was with her. Because he was back here where he belonged to and not starving in the apocalypse. Because he was Five, and she missed him so incredibly much when he was gone. Because he was...Five.
Vanya took in a sharp breath as she watched the performances in front of her. She didn't know why, but in that moment she was incredibly sad. The intensity of the sadness came out of nowhere and before she knew it, she felt the wind move around them many people complaining or surprised by how could there be wind in a closed concert hall.
'Vanya,' she distantly heard Five's voice, but she couldn't really focus on him the sadness and heartache overtaking her mind and powers.
She gripped the front of her shirt. She couldn't breathe properly. She was going into shock. She went fine six months without any incident would she now become the White Violin again.
She felt Five's hand found its way behind her and he grabbed her free hand with his other one right before they were pushed through the fabric of space which made her stomach do a nasty flip before the cold air of the outside hit her face and lungs.
'Hey, it's alright, just breath nice and steady,' she heard Five say as he let go of her hand but kept the other one on her back rubbing slow circles over her.
She nodded trying to control herself. It was raining a bit as tears started to fall down her face some more, 'I'm-I'm sorry.'
Five leaned closer to her and easily wiped away her tears from her cheek, his fingers careful with her as always.
'What on earth are you sorry for?' she could hear the worry in his voice. She was touched by his concern which only made her feel worse.
She looked away. It was too much to look at him when he was like this with her. Sweet, caring and understanding as she cried in the back alley of the theatre they just had run away from while making it rain.
'I'm so sorry,' she said again.
Five's hand moved from her cheek to cup the side of her neck bringing her to look at him, 'Talk to me, please. What's wrong?'
'I'm sorry you're missing the play,' she said honestly hiccupping at the end of it.
Five watched her for a moment before he chuckled like a maniac looking a bit hysterical, 'I don't care about the play. I care about why are you upset and crying.'
'But you looked like you were enjoying it,' she argued.
Five rolled his eyes, 'I spent forty years in solitude with nothing to do but walk around and occasionally read a book which wasn't burnt and years after that running around history killing people. I would enjoy going to the circus at this point. My cultural aesthetics is not that high.'
She looked away, 'I'm-'
'For Christ's sake, don't say you're sorry again or I swear to God I will-,' he took a deep breath himself to bring his temper in order before he let go of her neck and put his hand on her shoulder making her stand straight and facing him.
'Vanya, the play was pointless to me.'
'But you wanted to go so much. You bought the tickets-'
'I wanted to go with you. Like I said I don't care about the show. You wanted to go somewhere so I got us tickets, that's all,' he said looking at her and Vanya couldn't help, but think about the apocalypse and what he had been through because of her and still be so delicate with her.
She cried harder, and as much as Five wanted to help he couldn't. She would expect him to step away and give her time to adjust herself. He was never good when she cried, but before she knew it she found herself in his arms with her face covered by his chest as he pulled her into an embrace.
'Alright, cry it out. I will wait until you're ready.'
She couldn't help but grip at the back of his suit jacket wishing she could stop the storm of emotions inside her which made her feel so confused and upset now. She didn't understand why she was feeling this way.
After she was done crying her eyes out, Five took her home. They already missed the better half of the play and Vanya didn't feel like sitting any longer in the crowded theatre where people would now most likely stare at the weirdoes who teleported out.
Once they were in the apartment, she immediately went to change her clothes. She wanted a bath or a shower, or to go to bed. She really just wanted to get out of her clothes put on something she could lie down in and cover herself with a blanket. She had no longer the pills to numb her down, but nice soft sheets and blanket could always do the trick.
Five followed in close distance to her.
She took her things and went to the bathroom to change. It went without question that Five would stay over tonight. Just as many nights before.
Once she came outside, he took her place in the bathroom by now he had some clothes left over to change to since he spent so much time there, and helped her with the remodeling and construction. He helped her with everything she needed. He was so handy with it saying that was what living without a plumber does to a person, but Vanya knew it was because of her. It was because she ended the world, and he was forced to live in the aches of what she did.
She pressed her hand against her chest but quickly calmed down as Five came out of the bathroom.
'Are you alright?' he asked seeing right through her forced smile like he always did.
She nodded trying her best to look like it was all alright.
He didn't seem like she convinced him, but he nodded anyway and went to the door only for her to call after him, 'Wait, can you...stay tonight.'
He turned around and blinked, 'I assumed that was what I was doing.'
She felt her cheek warming up. It took all her courage to say, 'With me in the...bed. Close...'
She immediately caught the way he froze looking at her. She wished she could read his mind to know what the hell he was thinking about before he spoke, 'It wouldn't be the first time, would it now? Whatever you need, Vanya.'
Somehow it made her feel worse again. Because whatever she needed was all he had been doing since he found out she was the one who caused the apocalypse. He let her out of the cell, he helped her learn control, he fucking built her home, took her shopping, took her to the theatre and now even went to sleep in the bed because she needed it. He did all of this for her, and she felt like she never did anything for him. How could that be? How could she be so co-depended on him?
She nodded and went to the bedroom after that trying to save herself any more embarrassment than she already felt.
Vanya got into the bed on her usual side and waited for him to come as well.
It took him so long to come to Vanya actually started to think he changed his mind. Was tonight different than all those other times? Could he feel it too?
Once she finally felt the bed shift and he let out a small sigh people usually did when their body hit the warm and soft bed at the end of the day, she couldn't help, but feel a bit more relaxed and calm. It was fine. It was just Five. Five never judged her actions no matter of crazy she might appear. He accepted her the way she was. All his life he had been trying to get back in time to stop the apocalypse and save them all and the moment he found out it was her he did nothing but tried to help her never, not once, blaming her for what he had gone through because of her.
She felt him touch her head, and she couldn't help but close her eyes at the blissful feeling of his hand in her hair, 'Are you sure you're alright?'
She nodded against his touch.
'Now, I'm great.'
She felt him move closer to her which she approved. She always felt good in Five's arms and with him close to her. She just did. She didn't think anyone ever understood her or cared for her as much as he did. It was just something inside him which went along nicely with something inside her.
It was then as Five hugged her from the back cuddling her close to him making her feel warm and cared for that Vanya realized why she was so upset before when he was hugging her. He was hugging her as a brother would and should. But that was not the way she wanted to be held by him.
The sudden realization caused her whole body to jerk as her mind pieced all that happened in the past few months as well as years before together constructing the picture for her inside her mind. Funny, and she thought something could rarely surprise her.
'Vanya?' she heard him whisper, and before she could stop herself she whispered back shocked by the intensity of her own feelings now that she finally understood herself a bit better.
'I think I'm in love with you,' she said it sounding just as surprised and earth-shattering as she felt a nearby glass in her kitchen shook.
Five stayed silent and motionless behind her, but he didn't let her go which must have been a good sign.
After she found the control over her powers again and the glasses stopped shaking, she slowly turned around feeling her heart inside her throat. Was this normal? She never felt literally like throwing up from the anxiety of loving someone or telling someone she loved them. Then again she only ever really thought she loved Leonard, and he turned out to be a manipulating murderer. Not to mention she never told someone she loved him who was her brother.
Maybe she should take it back or tell him to leave. Well, that seemed rude. Maybe she could leave.
She tried to sit up, but he stopped her and pushed her back to the bed holding her close, 'Wait, don't go. I just...I need a moment, alright?'
Now his voice was all panicked and worried and as she realized this, she also could now see how hard he was breathing and how wide open his eyes were.
She reached out and brushed his shoulder a bit hoping to bring him some conform, 'You don't have to say anything or deal with it. I just...can take it back. I'm sor-'
Before she could finish the word, Five brought his hand to the back of her head and brought her toward him capturing her lips against his in a desperate and bruising kiss.
Vanya immediately shut her eyes returning the kiss and getting lost in the feeling of his lips against her own. It felt nice. The kiss felt good. Satisfying like something you didn't know you needed, but then you got it anyway and realized it was something you had been waiting for all your life and you would literally die if you never got it again.
It felt that good.
When he ended the kiss moving barely an inch away he pressed his forehead against hers, his hand still on the back of her head stroking and brushing her hair a bit, 'I told you to stop saying that or I would make you.'
Her mind was too much in chaos to comprehend what he meant, 'What?'
He chuckled at her obvious lack of thinking in the moment before the smirk transformed into a soft smile she could see even in the dark, 'I love you.'
She blinked even more thrown by how he just said it all of the sudden which was stupid since she dropped the bomb like a minute ago also out of the blue, 'Like a sister-?'
'Like a woman I want to sleep in one bed with kiss like there's no tomorrow and fuck until she screams my name,' he said leaving her completely speechless while her heart, a complete mess, was beating harder than ever as if it was trying to break free from her chest to get closer to him.
'I don't understand,' she lowered her voice, 'When did you-'
'I was twelve and you first came to my room and sat down on my bed while I read you Feynman's theories on quantum physics,' he said rubbing his nose against her in the most gentle way imaginable which made Vanya realize he really loved her too.
'Oh?'
He chuckled again, 'Of course I didn't know it then. I just thought you were the most tolerable and smart person apart from me in the house and that I wanted you to come to my room and listen to me more often. I supposed it started as crush sooner, but when I was about thirty-five I realized that if I had stayed I would have settled down by then and maybe have a family or something. You were the only one I could think about to do it with.'
'You didn't know many people before you left,' she said skeptically even if her gut told her to believe him.
'I knew enough of people, to see them for what they were and want nothing to do with them. You were the only person I actually wanted to spend a life with,' he said and moved closer to her with the rest of his body. She moved as well, her own body blindly following his trying to get as close as possible.
'I'm sorry it took me so long to get back here. It might be too late for us,' he said his voice revealing the same bitterness as she noticed before. Now she knew what it was about at least.
Vanya shook her head, 'Don't say that.'
'I'm 59 years old. In a couple of weeks, I will be 60. You have your whole life ahead of you-'
Now it was her turn to shut him up with a kiss. They pressed each other closer than before she broke the kiss, 'We got time. We got all the time in the world.'
'Vanya-'
She pressed her fingers against his lips to keep his words from coming out into the world, 'We already wasted so much time. Let's not waste more.'
He watched her for a moment. Even if he was older, his eyes were the same, they were older too, more experienced, more pained, but they still looked at her the same.
Five pressed a kiss against her fingers before she brought her hand to his back and started to kiss him properly feeling her heart ready to burst from the happiness she felt being with him like that being able to kiss him and be kissed with love and care only Five could give her.
He pulled her closer to the center of the bed before he got on top of her making her forget everything but the feeling of his hands and lips on her.
The next moment she woke up earlier than him which was probably a first. She tired him out.
Vanya couldn't help, but lovingly let her fingers brushed his silver hair. He didn't think she ever saw a man look more beautiful than Five.
She smiled a bit at him before she got up and walked around the room to the kitchen which used to be her bedroom. It looked lovely. She never thought much of it, but looking at it now, she couldn't help, but think it really did.
She walked further all the way to her window and the fire escape where she sat down to watch the sunrise. She almost never got to do that because she constantly kept on oversleeping. She couldn't help, but remember the one time she did back when she was in her first shitty apartment. It was a lot colder and even though eighteen-year-old Vanya back thought it was lovely she couldn't help but feel lonely while looking at it because it was then that she realized she was living alone. People could be alone even when surrounded like others as she was in the mansion, but in that first apartment, it was the first time she truly felt what it was like to be on her own and alone.
This sunrise was different. It beautiful, but it didn't make her feel sad. It made her feel happy. She couldn't know if it was because she was pills-free or her last night with Five or all the little things in between, but she felt truly happy in that moment like never before.
As she heard Five's footsteps and him leaning down to her ear slowly whispering into her ear to come back to bed that they still had time, Vanya understood. Home was not a place. It couldn't be. It wasn't walls, or furniture, bricks or floors or views or anything really which you could touch. Home was a feeling. It was a feeling which couldn't be explained. It was being able to be relaxed enough to walk around in your underwear with your hair a mess and in that favorite t-shirt which you wouldn't be caught dead to wear outside. It was a feeling of security like the warm blanket on a cold night or Five's arms around her when he pulled her close. It was a feeling of belonging which Vanya never got to have before, not belong to the Hargreeves, or the Umbrella Academy, to the 43 kids, to Leonard, to Icarus, but to belong to someone who was stirring and calming her soul, mind, and body with just one kiss. It was a feeling of belonging to Five, and him to her. A home wasn't a place, for Vanya it was the feeling of loving and being loved by Five as he led her back to bed kissing her first soundly and then hungrily like a man after a hunger strike.
As he let his hand mover over her body all the way to her center while his lips devour her, Vanya knew she was home.
Koniec