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“Question.”
Nayeon and Mina both look up from the laptop screen, the former wearing an annoyed expression and the latter reaching out to pause the movie. Jihyo pays this no mind. It’s not her fault they left the door partially open, after all. Thank God they weren’t having sex when she walked in. The last time that happened, Jihyo practically attended church for the next several days.
“Who the hell let you in?” Nayeon demands gruffly, leaning her forehead on her girlfriend’s shoulder and sighing in exasperation. They’re both sitting on the bed, a blanket wrapped around their shoulders. Jihyo sees that their hands are intertwined. “We were kind of in the middle of something.”
Mina shakes her head at Nayeon, shushing her with a quick peck. “Behave,” she says before turning her attention back to Jihyo awkwardly standing in front of them, “What’s your question, Jihyo-yah?”
Jihyo wraps her arms around herself, wondering if she has any pride left to go asking the couple about this particular topic. Mina, she can handle, for sure. But it’s Nayeon she’s worried about. That girl never forgets anything that she could use to blackmail against you. She learned this the hard way a long time ago. Perks of being friends with Im Nayeon, she guesses.
Come on, Jihyo thinks to herself, rolling her shoulders, this is important.
“So, are you going to stand there all day looking like a robot that just malfunctioned?” Nayeon remarks, dropping her head on Mina’s lap, “Because if you are, can you do that somewhere else? Mina and I are trying to Netflix and chill.”
“I never agreed on the chill part.”
“You will later—you know you can’t resist me, after all.”
Jihyo clears her throat before Mina says something equally disgusting. “Anyway,” she begins, stressing the word, “I have a dilemma right now and I need to ask for advice.”
Mina tilts her head to the side, intrigued. “What kind of dilemma?”
“Did you murder someone?” Nayeon mutters distractedly, her eyes closed.
“If I did, would you help me bury the body?” Jihyo asks, playing along.
The couple answers “yes” at the same time. Nayeon laughs, muttering something about the two of them of being soulmates. But Mina smiles and shakes her head, her hand coming up to rest on her girlfriend’s hair, fingers stroking through the strands. “Is this about Jeongyeon-ah?” she asks Jihyo, quirking an eyebrow.
Jihyo freezes, not expecting to be caught so soon. Her hesitance catches Nayeon’s attention who immediately springs up with a mischievous grin on her face. “Trouble in paradise?” she asks cheekily, “To what do we owe the pleasure of your visit, Ms. Park?”
“Oh, so now you’re listening?” Jihyo grumbles, gesturing for the couple to make some room on the bed. When she sits down, both Nayeon and Mina perk up, giving her their full attention. Jihyo doesn’t really know what she expected—it was because of them that she and Jeongyeon even began dating, after all. Of course they’d be interested in her love life, especially since she and Jeongyeon tend to keep things very private.
She doesn’t really know where to start. She and Jeongyeon have been dating for three months now. Their relationship has been nothing short of amazing. Sure, they get into petty arguments about where to eat and the amount of times Jeongyeon falls asleep while on video call but Jihyo wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. With Jeongyeon, she doesn’t have to hide anything because her girlfriend isn’t the type of person to judge. She’s kind-hearted, loyal and protective. Everything Jihyo could’ve possibly asked for in a partner.
Which is why Jihyo needs to swallow her pride and confess something.
“I love Jeongyeon,” she says out loud, not missing the way Nayeon’s grin widens and how Mina’s eyes sparkle, “and even though it might be too soon to tell, I can already see her in my future.”
“That’s great, Jihyo!” Mina claps her hands excitedly before she tilts her head to the side in confusion. “So, wait, what’s the problem?”
“Aha!” Nayeon suddenly bellows, jumping up to her knees and scaring both Mina and Jihyo half to death, “You haven’t told her you loved her yet, have you!”
“Sure, scream that out in the world for everybody to hear,” Jihyo grumbles, burying her face into her hands because as much as Nayeon likes to pretend she’s dumb, she’s quite perceptive about things that interest her. And she’s always been very interested in other people’s love lives.
“I see.” Mina lets out a soft hum.
Jihyo peeks through the space between her fingers and sees the couple watching her quietly, Nayeon with another shit-eating grin and Mina with a contemplative expression. They’re clearly waiting for her to open up more. Ignoring her racing heart and the slow collapse of her pride, Jihyo takes a deep breath and starts talking, “It’s not like I’m scared to tell her I love her. It’s just—I don’t know if she feels the same way.”
“Fucking moron,” Nayeon comments immediately, earning her a smack from Mina, “What! It’s true! It’s not my fault our friend is being an idiot here. I know my best friend, okay? And let me tell you something that I would bet my ass on—she feels the same way. Ever since you two started dating, she will not shut up about you.”
Jihyo’s heart starts racing again, not out of anxiety about the whole situation but at the thought that Jeongyeon could love her back just as much. It makes her feel warm all over. Like the memory of Jeongyeon’s smile can rival the power of the sun on a clear day. She can’t even stop the smile that blossoms on her face at Nayeon’s words.
Nayeon rolls her eyes. “Whipped,” she says, shaking her head, “I thought you were smarter than this.”
“Hey!” Jihyo gasps mockingly, a hand coming up to rest on her chest. “Don’t insult my brain cells. At least most of them are working! It’s just—”
“They get all flustered at the thought of Jeongyeon,” Mina points out, snickering, “I understand the sentiment.”
Nayeon practically glows at this comment. “She gets flustered when she thinks about me,” she declares proudly. Mina sighs, silencing her girlfriend with a quick kiss, before she looks back at Jihyo.
“I’ve seen the way Jeong looks at you,” she says gently, “She looks at you like you’re the most important thing in the world to her.”
“She looks at you like sunshine comes out of your ass,” Nayeon adds, earning her another smack.
“Please ignore my girlfriend,” Mina says, turning back to Jihyo, “Telling someone you love them is understandably difficult but once you do, it feels like all the weight on your shoulders just gradually falls away. You feel... lighter. Like you can take on the world if you have them by your side. Like you can do anything as long as you guys are together.”
Jihyo glances at Nayeon, expecting her to say something witty, but the older girl stays quiet, staring lovingly at Mina with a gentle smile on her face. The sight of it is endearing. Nayeon has always been clingy and soft to most people but with Mina, it’s different. You can practically feel the love coming from her in waves—overwhelming for some but perfect for Mina.
Jihyo sighs, thinking of Jeongyeon. “What if she doesn’t say it back?” she asks quietly.
Nayeon and Mina frown. “What do you mean?”
“You know Jeongyeon,” Jihyo points out, “She’s not the most affectionate person out there. She’s very private about our relationship and she doesn’t even hold my hand in public. What if I tell her that I love her and she can’t say it back?”
“Doesn’t mean she loves you any less,” Nayeon responds, sounding wiser beyond her years.
“Jihyo,” Mina begins, reaching out and squeezing her hand, “Words of affirmation are important when it comes to love but sometimes, you don’t have to say it out loud, you know. Actions speak louder than words, after all.”
Maybe Nayeon is right—maybe Jihyo is really an idiot. She lets out a sigh that doesn’t relieve the tension in her shoulders and nods hesitantly, her thoughts still clouded with doubt. The fear and anxiety of telling Jeongyeon she loves her, only to not hear it back, lessens only by a fraction. Perhaps she’s overthinking things. Of course it doesn’t matter if Jeongyeon doesn’t say it back. As long as they’re together, it’s enough.
Nayeon throws a pillow at her face. “Are you done now? We have a movie to finish.”
This time, Mina doesn’t object.
Jihyo leaves but not before making sure the door is locked behind her. She’s pretty sure Nayeon was very serious about the Netflix and chill.
There’s a knock on Jihyo’s door. She raises her head from the book she’s reading on Constitutional Law and checks the clock on her phone. Oh. It’s already half past eight o’clock. How long has she been studying for? She remembers sitting down to study immediately after her last class ended, which was about... four hours ago? Just as she thinks this, her stomach rumbles, reminding her that she hasn’t eaten anything since lunch.
Another knock interrupts her thoughts. She stands up from her study table and walks over to the door. Did Tzuyu forget her keys again? She always does every time she’s in a hurry to meet up with her girlfriend, Chaeyoung, on a date. Whipped behavior.
But it’s not Tzuyu standing on the other side—it’s Jeongyeon. Almost at once, Jihyo’s heart flutters at the sight of her girlfriend holding up Chinese take-out and wearing a large, bright grin on her face. It must’ve been raining outside because Jeongyeon’s short dark hair is plastered across her cheeks, her glasses have water droplets on them and her clothes are soaked. Apparently, she didn’t think to bring an umbrella before coming here.
“Hi,” Jeongyeon says, “I got caught in the rain.”
“What are you doing here?” Jihyo asks, immediately ushering her inside. She grabs the nearest towel she can find and doesn’t even wait for Jeongyeon to put the food down before she’s drying her hair vigorously. “I thought you were working at the bakery tonight.”
Jeongyeon tries to talk but it’s hard to do that when your girlfriend is painfully rubbing a towel all over your face. “Jihyo-yah,” she whines, putting the take-out on Tzuyu’s bed and trying to slap away Jihyo’s rapid hands.
“You’re going to get sick, you know.” Jihyo tuts, wrapping the towel around Jeongyeon’s neck. Her glasses are ascrew so she reaches out and fixes it. “You didn’t answer my question, by the way.”
“How could I when you were choking me with a towel?” Jeongyeon grumbles but she’s smiling, eyes crinkled around the corners and cheeks puffed up in a way that makes Jihyo want to kiss her senseless. “Besides, I had a feeling that you hadn’t eaten yet and it’s way past dinnertime for you. Were you studying?”
“Yeah, I have an exam in two days.”
Jeongyeon nods. She knows how diligent Jihyo is when it comes to her studies. “Okay, that gives me approximately twenty minutes of your time before you kick me out of your room,” she says, patting the towel all over her clothes in an effort to dry them.
Jihyo frowns, eyebrows creasing together. “What do you mean?” she asks.
Jeongyeon doesn’t answer at first. Instead, she grabs the food she bought, places it on the small table in the room and starts preparing. She even bought two of Jihyo’s favorite drink—Milkis, a melon-flavored drink that Jihyo is obsessed with—and sets them next to the pork ribs, egg rolls and Chinese-style fried rice. When she’s done, she takes a seat and gestures for Jihyo to follow suit.
“Dinner is served,” she declares, “I’ll eat with you then I’ll leave you alone just so you can study.”
Jihyo watches her girlfriend do all of these things and her heart feels like it’s going to soar.
“You didn’t have to do this,” she says and plops down next to Jeongyeon. Usually, they sit across each other in restaurants but when they’re alone, they sit next to each other. It makes hand-holding and kissing a lot easier to do when you’re closer, after all.
Jeongyeon grins at her, pushing her glasses up her nose. “I wanted to,” she says.
This is not how Jihyo imagines her confession would go. Maybe it’s because she hasn’t eaten for more than three hours. Maybe it’s the fact that she just read two hundred pages about Constitutional Law in one sitting. Maybe it’s because Jeongyeon is looking at her like that—eyebrows relaxed, eyes twinkling and smile gentle. Like Jihyo is the most important thing to her. Whatever the case, Jihyo’s heart feels like it’s going to burst out of her ribcage if she doesn’t get the words out.
“I love you,” she confesses. Jeongyeon’s eyes widen a fraction once the words are out and her mouth drops open, utterly rendered speechless by the admission of her girlfriend’s affections.
Seeing this, fear claws up Jihyo’s throat at the possibility that she might’ve messed this up. Is three months enough to tell someone you love them? She doesn’t know. Jeongyeon’s her first girlfriend, after all. She asked Google once, when she was desperate, and the answers she got all varied from each other. Majority said that three months is adequate, others said that it’s too soon. One comment stuck by her, though, and she thinks about this now. As long as you feel like you’re with the right person, time shouldn’t matter, it stated. But what if Jeongyeon doesn’t feel the same way? What if she thinks Jihyo is moving too fast? Oh, God—what if Jihyo has royally fucked up?
“You don’t have to say it back,” she quickly says, turning her attention to the food Jeongyeon has bought, “I just thought you should know.”
Jihyo says a quick prayer and reaches out to grab the chopsticks on the table but then, a hand shoots out of nowhere and grabs her wrist. She turns, surprised, and then before she knows it, Jeongyeon is leaning forward and kissing her. Jeong’s lips taste of rain and spearmint chapstick—soft and supple. Her other hand comes up to cradle Jihyo’s cheek, her touch gentle and careful, like she’s afraid she’ll break her or something. Jihyo kisses her back eagerly, dropping her hand to squeeze Jeongyeon’s thigh.
They kiss for a few more minutes until it feels like Jeongyeon has inhaled all the air in Jihyo’s lungs and she can’t breathe anymore. They pull apart but Jeongyeon doesn’t remove her hand from Jihyo’s face. Instead, she presses their foreheads together and takes a deep breath, her eyes still closed from the aftermath of their kiss. They’re so close that Jihyo can count her eyelashes.
“What makes you think I wouldn’t want to say it back?” Jeongyeon quietly asks, opening her eyes and smiling at her.
Jihyo laughs nervously, shaking her head. “Sometimes, you’re not good with words,” she murmurs, “and I didn’t want to scare you off.”
“Well, you are terrifying, especially when I interrupt your studying—”
“Yeah, but then you go ahead and do this—” Jihyo gestures at the dinner Jeongyeon prepared on a whim and it feels like her heart just can’t get any fuller than this “—and you make me fall for you more.”
Jeongyeon pulls away, smiling. “That was the plan,” she says, grabbing the chopsticks Jihyo reached out for, “Anyway, you should eat. You still have an exam to ace.”
Just as they’re about to start digging into their food, Jeongyeon clears her throat. When Jihyo looks at her girlfriend, she sees that the older girl’s cheeks are pink. “Also,” she begins, her knee shaking under the table, “I uhm—you know that I—I uhm—” It’s obvious that she’s nervous in trying to say what’s on her mind. Mina’s advice comes back to Jihyo then: actions speak louder than words.
The sight of her girlfriend stumbling over her words is so endearing that Jihyo laughs, shakes her head and leans forward for another deep kiss. Jeongyeon promptly shuts up, humming in response as Jihyo gently bites on her lower lip. When the kiss ends and Jihyo leans back, Jeongyeon is looking at her like sunshine does come out of her ass.
“I love you too,” Jeongyeon tells her, eyes sparkling with affection, “so much.”
“I know.” Jihyo smiles, bright and infectious, and Jeongyeon smiles back.
Mina was right. Telling someone you love them does feel like all the weight has been lifted from your shoulders. It’s a good feeling to have and she knows she’ll never forget the moment she said it. Saying ‘I love you’ to Jeongyeon makes her feel like she can take on the world but hearing her say it back—well, that’s something else entirely.