Chapter Text
Jeonghan was sure that over time he would be able to bury his feelings and the sadness he felt from Seokmin's marriage to Joshua would eventually subside. All he needed was some time to heal. Fate seemed to have a different plan for him however. It had never meant to be this way and Jeonghan could only curse himself for slipping up.
No one was meant to know how he longed for his best friend, how he wished for them to something more. He had kept it hidden so well for so many years, writing his pain away in his old diary. He cherished the book, kept it safely hidden from everyone in fear of humiliation if anyone were to read it. On the day that he found the Queen in his quarters, staring at the pages of the open book on his bed, he knew that he was done for. She hadn't said. anything then, despite Jeonghan's pleads for her to forget everything, despite his assurances that he had no intentions of trying to attain the prince's love. She had left him there, cruing on the floor where he had knelt before her.
It was two days later that it was announced that he would be married off to Choi Seungcheol, the head of the army. Most people would consider him lucky, Choi Seungcheol was a well respected, handsome soldier. He had earned everyone's love and respect after years of loyally serving the country and most would jump at the chance to marry him. Jeonghan however did not see it that way. His heart belonged to the prince, it would always be his even if Jeonghan had given up hope when he was married. He was willing to sacrifice his happiness to allow Seokmin to be with the one he truly cherished. To be bound in a loveless marriage however was something he was not willing to accept.
It was soon made obvious that he had no choice in the matter. The Queen and Joshua did not seem to trust him and he was no longer allowed to meet with Seokmin either. And it hurt Jeonghan more than he expected, he hated not being able to see the prince, even as just a friend.The two had grown up together and he was so used to his presence that it was hard to get by now. If being mated would allow everyone to trust him again, if it would allow him to be with Seokmin then he would bear it and marry Seungcheol. However he couldn't find it in himself to be happy with the decision.
He only met Seungcheol on the day of the wedding. It was a small ceremony with minimal people present. He had heard from one of the palace maids that despite his position Seungcheol didn't have much money but he had tried his best for him. The thought of someone putting in so much effort for him made his stomach twist. A part of him regretted doing this for that reason, knowing that he could never give the alpha the love he desired.
The guilt only spread when he saw Seungcheol smiling from ear to ear at the end of the aisle. He was accompanied by his closest friends from the army and that was it, Jeonghan vaguely recalled being told that he had no family left. Jeonghan's parents and sister had attended as well and he knew that they were pleased by this union which is why he would never let them know the truth.
He had tried his best to smile throughout the ceremony, for the sake of his parents. Things only went downhill when Seokmin and Joshua eventually showed up and Jeonghan felt as if his heart would beat out of his chest. It felt wrong to hold Seungcheol's hands then, even standing next to him irked Jeonghan. And seeing Joshua cling to his husband as he was shown off only made him nauseous. The alpha seemed to notice a change in his behaviour as well and looked at him with concern but he didn't say anything and for that Jeonghan was grateful.
The ceremony was only the tip of the iceberg however. Jeonghan was aware that to complete this marriage, Seungcheol and him would have to bond. Bonding entailed consummation of the marriage which only made him nervous. He would have to give himself up to an alpha he barely knew and it would only serve to make this agreement permanent. Just thinking about it made bile rise up to his throat.
He was moved to Seungcheol's quarter's inside the palace as soon as the ceremony had ended. He sat on one corner of the bed waiting for the alpha to arrive, his hands shaking from nervousness as he thought of a way to tell Seungcheol.
The alpha walked in a while later still dressed in his wedding clothes, he was still smiling and Jeonghan wondered if it was real. The man had not spoken a word to him at the wedding; maybe he had sensed the omega's nervousness, which is why Jeonghan was surprised by how deep his voice was when he spoke for the first time.
"I know this whole arrangement was so sudden and that we don't know eachother that well" the alpha said as he came to sit on the bed, some distance away from Jeonghan. "But I would like you to know that I have liked you from the first moment I saw you."
Seungcheol had failed to keep the happiness out of his voice and it pained Jeonghan to know that this man actaully had feelings for him.
"I doubt you even remember but we met a few years ago when you accompanied the prince to the nearby village. I've liked you ever since."
Now that it has been pointed out to him Jeonghan can recall the time he went out to examine the state of the villagers with Seokmin. He had met Seungcheol then but he had been far too invested in enjoying the limited time he had with his love.
"When the Queen came forward with the proposal for you I accepted in an instant. I know we didn't get to talk or anything before this and for that I am sorry but we can get to know eachother now."
He smiled so sincerely at Jeonghan, his eyes filled with hope as he waited for an answer.
"Seungcheol-ssi, I don't mean to sound rude but I already have someone in my heart right now." Jeonghan hated that he was admitting this to the man right after he had confessed to him but he had no other choice. Seeing Seungcheol so full of hope made his stomach twist, he had no right to string this man along while his heart was still bound to someone else.
"I am incapable of loving someone else at the moment but I also know that i have no hope of being with them so I'm willing to mate with you."
He knows his words were harsh and he didn't even say that he would try to make it work but it was better this way. It was better to keep Seungcheol away to prevent him from falling deeper.
Seungcheol however only smiled softly at his admission, hesitantly placing a hand over his.
"I never expected to have your heart completely Jeonghan-ssi but I'm willing to earn your affection. I will wait for as long as I need to."
Jeonghan had tried his best to tear the man down but he still seemed undeterred and he no longer had the energy to keep this up. He wanted this to be over already, wanted Seungcheol to mark him so they could be done with this. He expected no less from an alpha but Seungcheol continued to prove him wrong.
"We don't have to do this you know. I don't have to mark you, I wouldn't want to force you into anything." He looked directly into Jeonghan's eyes as he spoke, wanting him to see how sincere he was. Jeonghan however knew that that was not possible. The Queen would surely confirm whether they had bonded or not and he could only resume his duties alongside the prince when he was no longer considered a threat.
He had made sure that Seungcheol knew that and that was how he found himself on his hands and his knees, waiting for his husband to knot him. Jeonghan himself had suggested that they do it in this position, not wanting to make this into something intimate. Seungcheol's hesitance was obvious but Jeonghan had already made up his mind and he wasn't willing to back down.
Seungcheol was nothing short of a gentleman and a part of Jeonghan wished that he could have fallen in love with him instead. He was gentle and treated Jeonghan with such care that it made his heart clench with guilt. A man like him deserved someone who would love him the same way, not someone like Jeonghan who was stuck in a hopeless situation.
However if he closed his eyes he could almost imagine himself in a different situation. In an alternate reality where Seokmin would be the one marking him instead. He could imagine that it was the prince touching him so intimately, it hurt less that way. He hadn't made a sound when Seungcheol entered him but eventually his body recognised the alpha and he couldn't do anything but submit.
It felt good, Seungcheol was a good lover but he was holding back, knowing that Jeonghan didn't see things as he did. A part of him was appreciative of that fact but this was also a welcome distraction.
"I'm gonna mark you now. You could stop me if you wish." Seungcheol had spoken then, his voice strained. Jeonghan could feel the alpha's knot against his entrance and he shook his head almost violently. His body was reacting to this too well, the pheromones released by the alpha drawing him in further and in that moment he wanted nothing more than to be filled.
"Do it, alpha." He demanded, pushing back on his knot till Seungcheol eventually took control. He had marked him as he spilled inside the omega. It had been painful but Jeonghan was too far gone to take note of it. Seungcheol had ensured his pleasure and in the throes of it he had uttered Seokmin's name.
He felt Seungcheol stiffen behind him but he felt no remorse even if he was aware of how much he was hurting the other man. He hadn't said anything then and Jeonghan didn't turn around to face him. However his displeasure was evident from the way he pulled away as soon as he was able to. Jeonghan wasn't asleep but he didn't try to face him and the man had quietly gotten up to get dressed. He had covered Jeonghan with the blankets, ensuring that he was warm before moving towards the door.
"Sleep well, Jeonghan-ssi." The alpha had said before he stepped out of the room and Jeonghan finally let his tears fall.