Archive of Our Own ^beta

For the most part, Temari liked Shikamaru's teammates. Given how close Team Ten was, Ino and Choji were more like her brother and sister in law. So usually she didn't mind them popping in randomly. Dropping in unannounced on their honeymoon while they were in their honeymoon bed, however, was pushing things.

She almost forgave them because the first thing out of Ino's mouth was "Bomb!"

Almost, because the warning was both incorrect and a bit late. 

There was what appeared to be a giant electrical discharge and Temari found herself and her husband naked in a four poster bed in the middle of the desert, with his two teammates nearby and not nearly enough sheets available.

"Mother of a drunken scorpion." Since the Fourth Shinobi War, Temari had developed a tendency to swear more often. She was trying to cut back, which lead to saying things like this. "This is something that happens to Naruto, not us." Part of her frustration was improvising clothing from their bedsheets with nothing but a kunai. She was mildly surprised that she remembered her lessons on the subject. Hopefully she remembered them correctly.

Ino was facing away, sitting on a bit of the hotel floor that got transported with them, trying to make something that would be more help than harm as foot coverings for the newlyweds. "It was aimed at Naruto. When the reservation was set, they thought it was going to be Naruto and Hinata."

Temari growled and turned to her soon to be deceased husband. "Is this why you got a 'good deal' on the hotel?"

Shikamaru just sighed and said "Troublesome" as he worked at a pillowcase.

"Why you two? Didn't they have someone faster?" groused Temari.

Ino tossed her hair back. "There was Lee, but Hokage-sama thought that you might try to kill him and activate the seal from your chakra usage if he showed up. There was a chance you would hear us out before trying to murder us. A small chance."

Choji was also facing away, but standing on the sand on the opposite side of the bed. He was keeping watch. "From what we heard the seal was a time space… thingy that was supposed to send Naruto and Hinata into the future when they, ah, consummated their marriage. Something about making him see the ruin of everything he worked for."

Temari sighed. "Why can't he have normal enemies that just want to kill him?"

"Because he's too stupid to die?" Ino offered.

"The landmarks are all messed up," Choji complained. "I'd swear that we were near the Wind/Fire border except that… green stuff should not be there."

Temari would have been tempted to give Choji grief about his lack of eloquence, except she had come to the same conclusion. Further, that plant matter was where the Dead Wastes should be. She didn't think any amount of time travel would make sense of that. That said, this was a desert, and the landmarks they were using were mountains in the distance, so there was a chance they were just wrong about where they were. 

"We'll head for Konoha," said Shikamaru. "If we're wrong about where we are then hopefully the geography is still similar enough that we won't be headed further into the desert."

"Not towards the green stuff?" asked Ino.

Shikamaru shook his head even though Ino was looking away. Temari just snorted. "If we are in Suna, that's the Dead Wastes. I'd believe massive genjutsu far before there being actual plant life there. Also, heading towards Konoha would get us closer to humans sooner."

"It really shouldn't be this easy to infiltrate our own village," commented Ino, despite the fact they were still technically outside of it.

"Well, it looks like we're in the past," Shikamaru said dryly.

"Five heads on the monument and it looks like Pain never visited," agreed Ino.

"I'd say an alternate universe myself," said a female voice from behind them.

"What the heck?" cried Ino as they all turned.

"Dammit. I've gotten soft," muttered Temari, a thought echoed by the other three. It wouldn't have been so easy to sneak up on them even a year ago. 

The interloper had on a short trench coat with the Nara mon on the upper arms as well as the traditional earrings. She looked a bit like Yoshino, though with longer hair that was in a braid. The bits that didn't look like Yoshino could have come from any other Nara.

"Alternate universe?" asked Shikamaru.

"Assuming that you aren't infiltrators. But it seems unlikely that infiltrators good enough to copy your chakra signatures so closely would have gotten major details like your arm, Ino's eyes or all of your ages wrong."

"My eyes? Please tell me- Oh, wait, no you can't be Shikamaru's gender flipped duplicate if you mentioned his arm like that."

Years of ninja training and experience stopped Temari from face palming at where Ino's brain went, but it was a close call. 

Choji responded by glancing at Ino and saying, "I'd ask what books you've been reading lately, but I don't think I really want to know." Temari was pretty sure that was a Team Ten code for suggesting that they gather information.

"T and I?" Shikamaru asked laconically, causing Temari to blink a few times as she processed what he meant.

"Tsunade will have been in power for three years in about five weeks. Do you have any information that people might want to kill you to keep from getting out if we bring you to T and I?"

"Danzo," Choji hissed.

The girl face palmed. "Ino, hit Choji for me." The blonde obligingly dope smacked him. "I'm going to assume that means yes."

Temari mentally called bullshit. It was clear that this girl knew exactly what Choji was talking about, but it also seemed that she didn't have proof or the firepower necessary to do something about it.

The girl hummed. "Well, technically you haven't done anything wrong except have questionable choices in clothing. I could let you go and you could try to get help in Suna."

"Or we could just kill the motherfucker."

Everyone turned to stare at Choji. "I'm going to add Choji swearing to the list of dimensional differences," the girl said.

Ino sighed. "He just has a thing about traitors. We all do."

"Ah. So… I'm guessing if I wasn't around, Sakura was kunoichi of the year for your class?"

"Wait," Temari interrupted. "I don't want to keep calling you girl in my head."

"Right. Um. Nara Shikako, Jonin."

Shikamaru hissed. "You lived."

"What?" Ino shrieked.

"Kyuubi?" asked the girl, to which Shikamaru nodded. It was more of a head jerk than a nod, but all of them knew him well enough.

"Not all of us are Naras and can follow conversations of single words," Ino complained.

"She's my twin," Shikamaru said, deliberately relaxing in a way that showed that he was very much wound up.

"I have chakra hypersensitivity. Just being relatively near the Kyuubi was enough to make me- Well, let's just say I'm not surprised what happened for you. But, yes, I'm his twin and I got all the motivation that he didn't, which is how I'm a shinobi even though I have chakra hypersensitivity." 

Temari revised her threat assessment of this girl up by several levels, which was already high given she had gotten the drop on them. She had seen what Shikamaru could do when motivated and the girl had beat her brother to Jonin. On top of that, from what she understood about how Konoha academy students were assigned, Shikako had just implied that she had survived being on Team Seven. Even without their messed up mission history, Naruto was enough of a target that was an impressive feat.

"So… did Sakura keep Sasuke from defecting?"

"Here, too?" Choji growled.

"No. He stayed. Not a traitor. Just in case you see him."

"How?" Ino asked, despite her previous complaint about single word conversations.

"Sorry, but you and Sakura never really got Sasuke. You put him on a pedestal and projected your own wants and feelings on him, never trying to be a friend. I'm his friend."

"Flipping Nara." Temari barely avoided swearing that time. "How'd you work out that difference that quickly?"

She shrugged. "It's in the oath. Team mates, clan, allies, then Konoha. If that's the order I protect, that's the order I think."

"Flipping Nara," Temari said again.

Ino giggled. "She might be smarter than you, Shika."

Shikako shrugged. "I'm on Team Seven. Going to an alternate universe is on my contingency list." Well that was confirmation that their mission history was just as messed up here.

"That makes more sense," Ino said with finality. Considering what had happened to them just being friends with Team Seven, it really did.

Shikamaru sighed. "He's here, isn't he? That's why it was so urgent that you inform us that he's not a traitor here."

"I wouldn't want to hurt your pride any more by confirming."

"Troublesome."

"Can we get back to planning the painful death of the bastard?"

Shikako gave Choji a look. "Just to be clear, we're not talking about Sasuke, right?"

"No, the Sharingan stealing cyclops."

"Again, to be clear, we're not talking about Kakashi-sensei?"

Ino threw up her hands. "Danzo! He's talking about Shimura Danzo."

Shikako snorted. "If it was easy, I would have done it myself."

At that Uchiha Sasuke dropped out of a tree next to her, which was bullshit. Even if Temari was out of practice, he shouldn't have been hide from her senses when he was that close and when she was facing in his direction. "Kako…," he said in a warning tone.

"I'm eighty percent sure that he blackmailed Itachi into the Uchiha clan massacre."

Ino faked a cough. Poorly. It sounded like her just saying cough. "It was extortion in our world."

"And that was fifteen of the remaining twenty percent."

Sasuke froze then exploded. "Goddammit, Kako! Is that why you were accessing those files?"

Ino nudged Shikamaru on the shoulder, causing his makeshift clothes to shift. "I was right, she is smarter than you."

Choji, in the meantime, looked back and forth between Shikako and Sasuke. "You two aren't together are you?"

Shikako leapt away from Sasuke. "Ew! He's like another brother! Mom and dad have already practically adopted him! It'd be incest." Temari wondered if the slight flinch on Sasuke's part was disgust from agreeing or hurt from disagreeing.

He rallied quickly, however. "No, you aren't distracting me on this. Why didn't you tell me?"

Shikako sighed. "Do you remember you cousin Shisui?"

"A bit."

"He had the super eye power-" Sasuke twitched slightly at that description of his clan's doujutsu. "-called Kotoamatsukami. Danzo took his eye."

"Shit."

"And then Orochimaru did some mad scientist stuff so that he could use it more often," Ino added.

Shikako blinked at that. "Right, it's actually worse than I thought. Anyway, I couldn't trust anyone, because they might lose free will at any time. Not you, not my dad, not Kakashi-sensei. No one."

Sasuke ran his hand through his hair. "Well that would explain why Choji of all people is feeling murderous."

"Weird. You know me." Choji probably would have punctuated that by eating a chip if he hadn't run out.

Sasuke looked confused at that statement. "We were in the same class at the academy."

"No, I mean you know who I am as a person and not a background character where you just need to memorize the name."

"...Why do I have the feeling that I'm a huge jerk where you guys are from?"

"Because you are," Temari said bluntly.

"It's better than being dead," Shikako offered.

"Don't even joke about that," Sasuke muttered. "You spend enough time dead as it is. Or barely alive. Or neither alive nor dead."

"Don't explain that," Ino said forcefully, a sentiment that Temari heartily agreed with. Nothing good came from trying to understand the insanity of Team Seven, and she doubted substituting Sakura for a motivated female version of Shikamaru would do anything to help.

"Right. We were plotting premeditated murder," Choji said happily.

"This is getting weird. Maybe this will help," Shikako muttered and tossed Choji a bag of barbeque flavored chips from nowhere (Temari despaired at the fact that she had developed the skill of speed identification of bags of chips).

They say generals are always prepared to fight the last war. Shikamaru wasn't quite a general, but he did spend quite a bit of time in wish fulfillment planning on how he'd fight Danzo. It was very unusual for that kind of planning to be used almost whole cloth. In this case it could be, with only the slightest variations. Granted, the plan they went with would have required deploying the Konoha Barrier Team, but somehow Shikamaru's sister was able to carry out that part by herself.

An alert in a remote Root base and they got Danzo in place. From there it was actually rather anticlimactic, if cathartic. There was a sniping attack followed by a truly massive amount of white powder contained by a barrier. Shikako didn't say what it was, but Danzo definitely had breathing problems. Danzo managed to get out of the barrier, but they used the Human Bullet Yo-Yo to smack him a good one, right into another barrier trap. Repeat three more times, including some well chosen taunts to keep him from running and he went down.

Temari and Sasuke didn't even have to do anything aside from knock out a couple of flunkies. Technically they also watched the perimeter for reinforcements, but none arrived. All in all, it took only three hours from when they met Shikako and Sasuke. Temari was reminded about the saying about fighting a seal master on prepared ground and the one about motivated Naras. There were at least three layers of contingencies that they set up but didn't use.

"That was way too easy," Ino commented. "Just what kind of hellish poison were you using? Sure it took a while to work, but it worked far too well. And why did you have so much of it on you?"

"The powder? That was all purpose flour. I buy in bulk." Beside Shikako, Sasuke gave a long suffering sigh. 

Temari turned to look at Danzo's very dead body. They'd used a few kunai in uncomfortable places to make sure that he was really dead. It had nothing to do with the satisfaction of sticking them in him (because that was why they kicked the body). "I've eaten bread that your mother has baked before. I'm pretty sure that's not a side effect."

"What got him was the fact that all the oxygen inside the barriers were forced out when they went up."

Temari wasn't sure she bought that explanation. Ninja held their breath while fighting in the face of poison gas all the time. Lack of oxygen shouldn't be any different. Either the Nara wasn't saying the full extent of what she did or the universe just looked the other way when Team Seven was involved and said "Sure, whatever you want."

Shikamaru just nodded. "So the Izanagi wasn't working as well as it should have because the problem wasn't what he was breathing but what he wasn't breathing, and the chakra he wasted on that was chakra he wasn't using to fight the lack of oxygen." Really? He was going along with it? Screw it. Temari was just going to chalk it up to Danzo being old.

Sasuke grabbed his hair in one hand. "She does this all the time. We're listed as S class threats in the bingo books because she keeps punching out of our weight class with these tricks no one has thought of before."

"I'm not apologizing for Isobu."

Sasuke's groan sounded a lot like his soul trying to leave his body. It might be unfair to judge him by the version from Temari's dimension, but he must have been pretty relaxed if he was emoting this clearly.

Shikamaru fixed his alt sister with a stare. "You know the Sanbi's name?" 

"We're friends now," Shikako said in a satisfied tone.

Choji stared at Sasuke in horror. "Hashirama on a bicycle. You're the normal one on your team."

Shikako sniffed. "Rude."

Sasuke glared at her. "Yes. Yes, I am." Temari wasn't clear if he was referring to being normal or being rude. "Somehow the girl with two living, loving parents and a stable home life has managed to out crazy Kakashi-sensei, the dobe and me. Combined. That's the orphaned war veteran, the orphaned jinchuuriki and the orphaned massacre survivor."

Temari sighed. "Have I mentioned that Suna is seriously considering classifying The Will of Fire as a communicable mental disorder?"

"Sasuke's friends with Isobu, too." Somehow the girl didn't realize that was just supporting Suna's decision.

"Shikako," Sasuke said slowly. "You were the one who offered to be friends. I, and everyone else in Mist, just went along with it because the alternative was fighting him."

"He'd be hurt to hear you say that."

Ino took a step back. "Son of a syphilitic sea cucumber. It's like Shikamaru and Naruto had a kid."

Shikako looked at her and then Choji. "What's with all the weird non swears? Choji was swearing normally earlier."

Choji took out the bag of chips he got from the girl. "These two are planning on having a kid soon. We're practicing not using dirty words. Temari's doing the worst at it and I think Danzo's a good reason to backslide."

"Really? You should meet Kino, then. He's sixteen months old."

"Kino?" asked Temari.

"My younger brother."

Despite not moving, Shikamaru tripped. "Mom and dad had another kid?"

"That's what younger brother would mean, yes." Temari said dryly.

"Why!?"

"I don't ask about mom and dad's sex life, thank you very much."

Shikamaru blanched as he finally remembered the necessary prerequisites for having a child.

"Let's get back to the village. I think Asuma's on a date with- Is there a problem?" Shikako turned to look at Team Ten, who now looked as if they'd seen a ghost.

Temari shook her head. "I think they still feel a bit guilty about Sarutobi dying in our world."

"Ah. Too bad. I thought of a really funny prank."

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose. "She's playing up the whole cross between Naruto and Shikamaru thing to mess with you."

"I am?" Shikako was all wide eyes.

Temari snorted. "No one above the age of four looking that innocent could actually be innocent."

The only way that Tsunade could have "I'm just done with this" written more clearly on her face would be if it was literally written on her face. Good to know some things were the same.

"Let me get this straight. You detected your brother's chakra signature approaching the village, but seeing as he was already in the tower, you decided to investigate, dragging Uchiha along. Then you decided to assassinate Shimura Danzo."

"You saw his arm," pointed out Shikako.

Tsunade turned to the side. "Shizune! Break out the emergency sake!" It gave Temari a mental image of a jug behind a glass that said "Break in case of Team Seven." Turning back the Hokage said, "I'm still wrapping my head around the fact that the first thing you thought of before bringing them to T and I was if anyone would assassinate them for their knowledge."

"Team Seven. I do a lot of contingency planning for potentially bizarre situations."

"I'm Team Seven, too, and I never thought about something like this."

"Well, since it happened, maybe you should have." Shikako's voice was tart, as if this was just common sense. 

Temari shrugged. "She has a point. Enough weird stuff happens to us and we're just friends with them. Some of them."

Sasuke sighed. "Yes, my other self is a massive jerk. You don't need to remind me."

"And so is your sensei. Sai's not much better."

Ino growled. "That's my fiance you're talking about."

"Sai," Sasuke said flatly. "Dark, pale and doesn't know what an insult is?"

"He's gotten better." Ino's stance was a bit stiff. It wasn't a secret that their relationship was built on the fact that Ino could easily manipulate him. Well, that and sex, but Temari tried hard not to think about that part.

Tsunade growled at them. "We are not having the debrief in my office. Girl Nara, take the girls back to the transfer point. You're our best hope at figuring out how to get them back. Check in with Suna while you're out there. Uchiha, take Boy Nara and Akimichi to T and I and have them properly debriefed. Debriefed, not interrogated. I get the feeling that the next few years are eventful."

Shikamaru snorted at that. It was definitely an understatement.

"And hopefully we can get this brats back soon so they'll be my other self's headache."

"Hatake-sama's Hokage now," Choji offered.

"Kakashi-sensei?" Sasuke blurted. "How the heck has the village not imploded in a giant ball of unfinished paperwork? And I thought the dobe was a bad idea."

Tsunade massaged her temples. "You have your orders. Just go."

Temari might have felt guilty about her headache if she hadn't found out that the Sannin and Team Minato had both also started out as Team Sevens. This was her legacy giving her headaches, and thus karma.

They were traveling at a good clip to their arrival point, but not so quickly that they couldn't talk with chakra enhanced hearing available.

"You know, of all the things I imagined myself doing, a crime scene investigation of my brother's honeymoon bed didn't even make the list. I'm sure I would have gotten to it eventually. Especially if I knew he was going to be marrying you."

"Excuse me?" Temari growled.

"A marriage between Suna and Konoha? That would be heavily political and invite all sorts of attempts to mess things up."

Not what Temari was expecting, but she had to put up with Ino's jokes about domestic violence for too long. Speaking of which, she turned a glare on Ino, who was trying not to laugh.

"Of course my Shikamaru is busy screwing things up with Tenten right now, so I'd expect murder before any wedding bells."

"Tenten?" It shouldn't be possible to squeal at the speeds they were running at, but Ino managed.

"The one on Team Gai?" Temari asked. "What do they have in common?"

"From what I understand? Having someone who knows what it's like being surrounded by insanity."

"That is a much better explanation that I was expecting," Temari said.

Temari had expected an investigation, not for the scary Nara girl to seal the whole damn bed, remaining bits of floor and a good chunk of the surrounding sand into a scroll.

"We should head to the Garden."

"What?"

Shikako pointed at the greenery where the Dead Wastes should have been. "The Garden of Life from Death."

"That's an actual garden," Temari said flatly.

"What happened is classified, but I can probably tell you that the center is where the Gelel Mines were."

"The heck." Temari hadn't been there for it, but she was pretty sure her brothers said it was destroyed in a black hole or something. The greenery definitely didn't happen back home. Then again, with a seal mistress on site rather than a medic….

"As you can guess, it's become a major strategic resource for Suna. It's almost always the case that either the other you or Kankuro are there."

Ino shook her head. "I knew there'd be differences but I didn't think they'd show up on maps!" Shikako shifted guiltily. "What."

"Team Seven has also been involved in a few regime changes."

"Ours too, so maybe I shouldn't be surprised. Wait. Already? I could have sworn they didn't get started until next year."

Temari coughed at Ino. "Koyuki."

Ino tossed her hair back. "Oh. That was right after the Konoha Chunin exams or something."

Shikako shuddered. "Don't remind me. They caught me on camera singing to myself and put it in the film."

"You married into the family of a movie star!" Ino sang.

Shikako fixed Ino with a stare. "I have pictures of you when you were five and am not afraid to use them." Ino flinched at that, even if they weren't really of her. 

Temari shook her head. "I regret ever thinking that Konoha was soft." Of course, they actually were soft, but they were soft like the sand was soft, and no one raised in the desert would mistake sand as anything less than deadly.

It didn't surprise Temari that they were treated with the utmost courtesy when they arrived at the Garden until she remembered that she was older than her counterpart here. There were a few surreptitious attempts to dispel genjutsu, but for the most part, people looked at Shikako and decided to roll with it. It was slightly disturbing. Team Seven's reputation in Suna didn't get to that point in her home dimension for at least another year.

Shikako had been wrong about who was in the Garden, probably because she just didn't understand just how valuable the place was to Suna. Well, not wrong, exactly. After all Kankuro was there, but Temari's other self was only ten minutes away, and more top jonin were in the area than Temari had ever seen in one place, except for deliberate gatherings in Suna. It made the "above my pay grade" attitude towards Shikako even more confusing.

It didn't take long before Temari got put in a small room with Kankuro while Shikako and Ino got somewhere to relax.

"It's a reward duty station now," Kankuro said. "The right mix between damn important to do and relaxing. We were stretched really thin that first year and it wasn't relaxing, but there was this feeling of 'oh yeah, this is real' that made up for it. The best part, according to you, was that we were able to say no to some really crappy missions."

A sense of bitterness settled in Temari's gut. "Some of those really crappy missions didn't work out so well for us."

"I figured. So what do we need to know that won't be given to us in annoying detail by Shikamaru's debrief?"

"You trust them to give you an unredacted debrief?"

Kankuro gave her a look. "Don't be stupid. But they're not going to shoot themselves in the foot by not sharing anything that we can help with."

"I'd expect that attitude in my time, but the alliance was a lot shakier this time when I came from."

Kankuro waved that off. "Blame Sparky for that."

"Sparky?"

"Shikako. She's the only contender for Mrs. Kazekage right now."

Temari choked on her tea. "What?"

"You heard me. So we've been making nice with Konoha and they've actually been reciprocating. I think you guys just killed the person who was most against closer ties, so it'll just get better."

"Back up to the Mrs. Kazekage thing. She doesn't seem like his type." Not that Temari was sure what Gaara's type was, since he seemed to have as much sex drive as a rock.

Kankuro snorted. "That's because she doesn't seem crazy until you get to know her. I mean no one's seen them so much as peck each other on the cheek, but I have seen him sneak out late at night to meet her. Plus she believes in him in a way that no one in Suna ever has. Even more than the rest of Team Seven. Hatake's like he's humoring his 'cute little genin.' Sasuke's like he believes in Naruto's brainwashing skills." Which was totally fair and a sign of good judgement on Sasuke's part. Naruto managed to get through to flipping Pain. "Naruto's frankly too stupid to realize what Gaara used to be like."

"But she's a Nara and she still believes in Gaara."

"Doesn't have a doubt. Told him that he'd be a great Kazekage when she had no reason to believe it."

"And no one minds that Gaara might marry someone from Konoha?" It was like pulling teeth unruffling feathers from both villages when she married Shikamaru, and she was just the Kazekage's sister.

"Nah. Konoha's happy to have influence here and here most of the idiots are still a bit afraid of Gaara losing it, and she can take him in a fight, so they'd be happy to have her around."

"What."

"I know. She let Naruto fight Gaara mano a mano when we invaded Konoha, and then let us go afterwards. So I thought she was weak and soft. Sure she was smart and could direct people, but not exactly front line material herself. Shoulda figured that she used the fight with Naruto to dissect everything about Gaara. The only reason she didn't win in their fight in the Grass Chunin exams was because she didn't want to win."

Temari shook her head. Her Kankuro still referred to those as "The Dumbass Exams" because the morons rigging the tournament bracket had the bright idea to match Muku against Lee. Sealing the chakra of someone who didn't use chakra wasn't terribly effective.

Kankuro continued, "If I didn't know that for some reason that Sparky actually liked Gaara, it would have been scary. Scarier. I was so used to thinking of him as invincible that I didn't ever think of finding weaknesses in his technique, but Sparky's treating it like a spar and showing him shit like 'watch out for mixing crap in your sand' and stuff."

"Flipping Nara," Temari sighed. Deidara had pulled the same thing on him.

"And Gaara's practically giddy that someone is treating him just like anyone else. Y'know, Gaara giddy. But all that relationship stuff is long term. I don't think either of them is going to do anything actually romantic until Akatsuki's taken care of." It took Temari a second to remember that Shikako's ability to fight Gaara was somehow related to the fact they were connected romantically. She came to the unfortunate conclusion that Gaara might not let himself fall for someone not able to protect herself from him. That went a long way to explain his apparent lack of romantic interests back home.

"Right. Well, here's what I remember about those bastards."

Added to the list of things that didn't surprise Temari was the fact that she and Ino were bunking with Shikako. This was still a military installation and space was at a premium even for VIPs. It did surprise her how close the room was to where the rest of her family was staying (Gaara had shown up in the middle of her discussion about the invasion of Konoha, thankfully long after the part where he had temporarily died). 

Not that Shikako was there at the moment. She was having tea with Gaara. Temari really hoped that it was just tea, because the idea of them making out or something was actually rather scary.

"Relax, it is just tea," commented her other self from the door.

"That obvious?"

"Yup," she said walking in and sitting on the bed. "Huh. My chest get bigger. Good to know."

Ino giggled from the top bunk where she had been reading a Suna fashion magazine, which apparently were a thing here. "If you want to be alone with yourself I can clear out."

"Stuff it, Yamanaka."

"If you want to make out with yourself it's masturbation, not incest~" she sang.

The younger Temari face palmed. "So much for thinking she gets more tolerable with age."

"What am I supposed to think when you lead with a line like that?"

"That I'm worrying about clothing costs," the younger Temari called up at the idiot. "Money's tight even for the Kazekage's family."

That wasn't strictly true. The family could have afforded more, but they strove to set a good example for the rest of the nation. "It's better now, though, right?"

"Food is a lot better and there are more luxury goods available than ever."

"I thought so. Even the shinobi forces are more colorful than back home."

The younger Temari nodded. "We don't waste anything here. A lot of the plants that aren't good for anything else are still good for dyes. But we need to be careful so we don't exhaust the soil and that means completely frivolous spending isn't welcome." It was still somehow enough variety to produce a fashion magazine, something Temari couldn't get over. 

"I never knew it was that bad," said Ino.

"It's hardly bad," Temari protested. "Living in Konoha, I've come to the conclusion that too many material goods actually makes you miserable. Your merchants are some of the least happy people I've ever seen."

"But you invaded Konoha for a reason."

"Yeah, because the Wind Daimyo makes piss poor decisions," the younger Temari spat. "There would have been enough wealth in the nation if the jackass didn't keep sending it out of the country. Then the whole thing got twisted up because of Orochimaru-"

"Wait. He's still alive now, right?"

Ino cackled above Temari. "We can kill this one, right?"

"Can?" asked the native Temari.

"For some reason we're not allowed to kill the one back home," complained Ino. "I'm not sure we can pull it off with just the four of us, though. Dammit."

"Even if we did, I'm not sure it would stick. He's come back from the dead - what? - twice now?"

"Who even knows?"

The younger Temari sighed. "Was this in your debrief?"

"No, I mostly talked about the really big stuff and the stuff related to Suna."

"Orochimaru coming back from the dead wasn't really big stuff? Just how fucked up is the future?"

"Very," chorused Temari and Ino.

Temari woke to the sound of people talking outside the door. It was loud enough that it was clear that they weren't sneaking, but quiet enough that it seemed they weren't trying to wake anyone. A bit of chakra and she could hear more clearly.

"-seem much more relaxed." It sounded like Gaara.

"Shimura's dead." That sounded like Shikako. "It's one thing off of my list. When it's all done... then I can really relax." A beat. "I think we woke up the other Temari." Temari knew that Shikako was a sensor, but hadn't realized she was that sensitive. The displaced sand kunoichi definitely had the feeling that the Nara was going to say something different than relaxing. She didn't want to bias her thoughts with Kankuro's theories, but "then we can get married" would have fit right there. That's silly, right? They were far too young to be thinking about that kind of thing. Hell, there were days where she felt too young to be married.

"Then I'll let you both get to sleep. Good night, Shikako." And Holy Shit (it deserved the capitalization), that was more tender than Temari had ever heard Gaara speak. She never heard him speak to a lover before, but that was very much how she imagined it would be.

"Good night, Gaara." Shikako slipped into the room and onto the cot.

In the morning, when Ino left for the bathroom, Temari took the chance to talk to Shikako. "So, you and Gaara…." She made no claims on eloquence. Temari didn't know how she'd finish that sentence.

"There's nothing going on between me and Gaara. We had tea and some of those nice Suna style biscuits. Since you were debriefing I took the chance to look at the seal, and got caught up." She said that in a long suffering tone.

"I guess you get teased about it a lot?"

"The rumors about my love life have encompassed basically everyone I know. I've heard people say that Sasuke and I are madly in love. Same with Haku, Ino, Naruto, Kakashi-"

"The hell. Isn't he gay?"

"Don't know. Don't care. In fact, whatever the opposite of caring is, I'm that. I'll actively resist finding out information on the subject."

"It's a relief that nothing's going on with you and Gaara."

Shikako's eyebrow twitched. "I'm feeling vaguely insulted here."

"I'm just saying that the report when I get home is already going to be messy enough. I don't want to write 'Oh, and we met Gaara's soulmate. Too bad Kurama killed her in the cradle just by being in the same area.' Naruto would be miserable. He and Sakura are already going to be pissy enough over the fact that you managed to keep Sasuke here."

"Pissy?"

"Well, Sakura. Naruto will probably feel depressed and guilty."

Of course, then Shikako completely undermined that talk by hugging Gaara when they left. Not even Temari hugged Gaara. And Gaara returned it. As far as Temari could see things, there were two possibilities: either there was something going on there (though they might not know it or acknowledge it) or Temari was just a really shitty sister. Unfortunately, those weren't mutually exclusive.

The Nara clan had a guest house that they were allowing Temari and Shikamaru to use until Shikako had the seal deciphered. It was cozy, well decorated and far enough from any of the other dwellings that being noisy wasn't an issue, exactly the kind of place you would put a newlywed couple.

"-and I can't tell if Shikako and Gaara are hiding things, really are just platonic friends, or have something going on and are just clueless themselves!" Temari ranted as she paced. It probably wasn't the kind of noise Shikaku was planning to avoid, but it was still nice that they wouldn't be bothering anyone.

"Troublesome. I didn't think you were invested in gossip like this."

"You idiot. Gaara really looked like he was enjoying the hug. If he was enjoying it because the two of them are sweethearts it means something completely different than if he was enjoying it because he just wants human contact."

"You could just ask your brother if he wants a hug."

"I think the last person to hug him was uncle Yashamaru."

"Ah. That would be an awkward question then."

Temari stopped pacing and dropped on the couch next to her husband. "I didn't even hug him when Chiyo-baa brought him back from the dead."

"When we get back you can tell Lee that Gaara needs a hug. He's fast enough that he'd probably survive."

"That's a horrible idea. Even if Gaara wants a hug, do you think he wants one from Lee? I think that's grounds for declaring war."

"I'm done using my brain for the day. Everything I thought of today has been depressing."

"That bad?"

"Every. Single. Difference we've found can be traced back to Shikako living. Almost all of it positive so far."

"Suna's definitely better off."

"It's not clear that it'll stay positive. The Konoha-Suna-Kiri alliance provoked Iwa and Kumo. So far it hasn't quite escalated to a full shinobi war, but if it does then things will be in a worse state to fight off Tobi. I also like having both arms… but, the other me, he got the kick in the pants he needed earlier than I did. And it didn't cost losing Asuma."

"You'd make that trade."

"An arm for Asuma? In a heartbeat." Shikamaru groaned. "Now if only I could teach my siblings people skills."

"Oh?"

"Shikako and mini me have been butting heads over how often she gets hurt. He wants her safe and she did a poor job of communicating how unsafe being stuck in the village felt."

"You can't blame her when the problem was Shimura." May he rot in hell.

"That and it looks like she had a feel for just how bad Akatsuki could get long before we showed up." Shikamaru tilted his head back. "Too smart for her own good, and she's not willing to sit on the sidelines when her team is going to facing monsters like that. But mini me definitely has a point about her survival instincts. Sakura didn't get nearly as beat up in her time on Team Seven."

Temari resisted the urge to say that was because Sakura hid behind the boys. The pink haired girl had gotten a lot more badass, but that didn't happen until later. Er. Roughly now, actually. Time travel tenses were annoying. "I hate to play devil's advocate but one of those self sacrificing instincts led to the Garden of Life from Death."

"And in that incident she died right in front of him." Shikamaru rubbed his eyes.

"It's a mess."

"A goddamn mess. Hopefully with the village clued in and working on saving themselves she'll be able to relax a bit."

"She's still Team Seven."

He sighed loudly at that. "She's trying to keep up with Naruto and Sasuke. You know what kind of bullshit is powering those two."

"No, I actually have no clue."

"Fair. But you do know what level they'll reach eventually."

Temari snorted. "Only the vaguest idea. It's hard to tell the difference between someone who could dismantle me in two seconds against someone who would only need a second and a half."

"The point is they're living legends. Shikako doesn't have a demon in her belly or a legendary doujutsu."

"She's a motivated Nara. She'll figure something out. The Fourth was damn scary without having a bloodline or other cheats."

Temari wondered what the hell was going through her head when she decided to set even one toe in the Yamanaka compound when there were two Inos inside. Shikamaru had the sense to beg off so he could talk clan business with his father, which should have clued her in when he was actively looking for something to do. 

"He hugged her?" Baby Ino with the creepy eyes asked.

Big Ino nodded like her head was on springs. "For ninety three point four seconds."

"How the hell did you time it to tenths of seconds?" demanded Temari.

Baby Ino ignored her. "I don't have a baseline for Gaara hugs," she pouted. "It could be a long hug or a short hug."

"So the hugging is new?" Big Ino asked with a manic grin.

"It is sooo new. She's hugged Haku before, but Gaara is definitely, definitely new."

Big Ino tapped her chin. "Haku. Haku."

"Hottie from Kiri. Zabuza's apprentice. Current jinchuuriki of the Sanbi. He looks better in a kimono than we do."

"Even me?"

Baby Ino narrowed her creepy eyes. "You did not go there."

"You have got a bit of growing to do."

"Better than being past her best by date."

Temari pinched her nose and groaned and tried to change the subject. "Didn't Zabuza die?"

Big Ino glared at her younger self but said "I think I remember third division fighting him."

"See, couldn't be dead," Baby Ino said.

Big Ino flinched. "Uh, almost everyone we fought in the Fourth Shinobi War were zombies brought back from the dead, including pretty much every kage that ever lived."

"That sounds… let's go with horrible."

Temari nodded. "It was."

"Is that why you turned out to be such a bitch?"

Temari groaned as Ino picked a fight with herself. Again.

"You didn't seem to get along with your duplicate," Temari remarked. She and Ino had just finished a taijutsu only spar, the latter needing to work off some frustration. The two of them were doing their cool down stretches, something that had become more important as they got older.

"I can take her in a spar. We proved that."

"Well, duh."

"...but it was a lot closer than it should be."

"You're shi- kidding me."

"Why is it that you, the one who wants kids, are the one having the most trouble with cursing?"

"Stop deflecting."

Ino flopped backwards on the grass. "It's not like we can compare directly."

Temari dropped next to her. "So theorize."

"It sounds like with Shikako around being all motivated in the academy, this Ino trained just a bit harder because she didn't want to look bad." Shikako again. It figured. "When the Sound Four came around she wasn't so useless that Shikamaru ignored her when putting together a team. She got her ass kicked, but came out the other side more motivated. Then for some reason she got sent on a mission with Shino and Hinata the led to her getting a summoning contract. I don't even remember hearing about that mission. Choji vaguely remembered it, but thought it was Hinata, Kiba and Naruto. They destroyed the summoning scroll rather than making use of it. If I look back to me at the same age, I was-" Ino growled slightly.

"And now you want to smack around your younger self, but this younger self didn't make the same mistakes you did."

"So frustrating. Sure, sharing headspace with Orochimaru of all people doesn't look like the most pleasant thing, but if Team Ten met Hidan right now they'd tear him apart." Ino growled again. "But that's not necessary because our dads already fought him and literally tore him apart."

"Your dads? I thought they didn't go into the field any more. No, Chouza's still active, right?" Because obviously she meant the Ino-Shika-Cho formation. It's not like anyone would have resurrected Temari's dad to take part in the operation. (She missed the days where she believed that was because it was impossible rather than not being worth the bother. She also missed believing that the Leaf didn't use it because they were too soft rather than because they were afraid of showing off a trump card lest people work out a counter.)

"My bratty version didn't know and dad wouldn't give any details. He just let us know that Hidan wouldn't be killing Asuma here."

"And why doesn't the other Ino like you?"

"What she said or what she really thinks?"

"Let's go for both."

"So she got basically a mental imprint of Orochimaru. Dad thinks they could use me to give her an imprint of what she'd be like without his influence. She says she doesn't like the idea of me because I represent the possibility of losing what she's fought for."

"That seems reasonable."

"She also doesn't want to pick up any feelings I have for Sai."

Temari snorted. "Even more reasonable."

Ino lightly smacked Temari with the back of her hand. Given their positions, it was more like just a flop of her forearm. "Wench." Ino sighed. "Now what she's really thinking is that I'm a selfish little girl who's only playing at being grown up."

"That's… harsh. And oddly specific."

"Sakura and I ended our friendship over Sasuke. That didn't happen here."

Temari resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "You were five."

"A bit older than that. She doesn't want most of a lifetime of thinking that's okay to be added to her psyche."

Well, it was perfectly fair not to like academy aged Ino. Temari wouldn't have liked her. She hadn't liked genin Ino much either, despite or perhaps because of how little they interacted. The Konoha Chunin Exam prelims was more than enough to seal a bad impression. Fangirl would probably be the least severe of the descriptions she would have used. Not that Temari was all that fond of herself back then. Still, "You're better now."

"We've been slacking off since the Fourth Shinobi War ended."

That was fair. Temari and Shikamaru had definitely gotten out of the mindset of being prepared at all times, otherwise they wouldn't have landed here without their clothes near at hand. "It's been peaceful. And there isn't much that Naruto or Sasuke couldn't crush flat before I could blink."

"Are we reducing them down to weapons by thinking something like that?"

Was Temari still thinking of Gaara as a weapon? Is that why she hadn't even considered giving him a hug? "That's a surprisingly deep thought."

Ino twitched next to Temari. "Did you have to say surprisingly?"

"From baby you, yes."

They lay in the grass in silence for a bit before Ino said "Shikako did a substitution for Sasuke when Itachi was going to use a Tsukiyomi on him."

"Is she insane?"

"No, she loves him. Like a brother, sure, but she does. It's what the bratty me used as an example for how shallow I am."

"I'm starting to see why this Sasuke didn't turn out to be a traitor here."

"She asked if I would do that for Sai."

Temari shook her head. "I don't think having survival instincts means you're shallow."

"I never really doubted that I loved Sasuke, you know. I definitely decided that he wasn't worth it when he went crazy, but I never doubted what I felt was real. Silly really. She must not have even hesitated. This was Itachi. If she paused even for half a second she wouldn't have gotten the chance."

"Again, there's nothing wrong with having survival instincts." Her tone was much drier this time.

"Pfft, no. The problem is that I'm the clan head now. I need to be able to ask hard questions of myself. That's why she said I was shallow and playing at being an adult."

They lay in silence for a while before Temari asked "You know what gets me about this place?"

Ino made an interrogative sound.

"My counterpart barely knows Shikamaru. At this point in time we were already doing that pre-relationship dance, but she's been in Suna mostly watching over the Garden. We didn't fight in the chunin exams either."

"Bitchy me thinks Sai has a thing for Shikako."

"Could she be messing with you? Shikako said they were rumors like that linking her to basically everyone."

"She was a bit too annoyed about Shikako's ability to attract hotties to be lying."

Temari still wasn't used to eating in the larger dining area. Usually when they ate with Shikamaru's parents, they sat at the small table just off the kitchen. Now, the Nara head family had two more members, in addition to Shikamaru and Temari. Sasuke also showed up for meals surprisingly regularly, not acting like a giant dick, which was still a surprise. Plus today they were joined by both Chojis who were more or less sitting on Shikako and making sure she ate.

"This isn't necessary," she whined.

"That's technically true," Sasuke agreed. "She has a seal in her mouth that dispenses protein powder shakes. She can go a long time without appearing to eat." Big Choji looked outraged while the younger Choji seemed resigned.

"What's this about?" Temari asked because Shikamaru was lazy enough to let her do the talking.

"Miss Workaholic here has barely been out of her workshop ever since you guys had gotten back from Suna," said the younger Choji. "Sasuke decided that we needed to make her take a real break."

Temari furrowed her brow at that. "I've seen her here for meals every day."

Sasuke nodded. "One meal a day. Shikako's min-maxed her social interactions to optimize levels of concern versus productivity."

"Obviously not if you thought an intervention was necessary," the workaholic in question muttered.

Sasuke fixed her with a flat, unimpressed look, while Shikaku sighed. "You were cackling, Kako," her teammate said. Temari had thought that Sasuke had been channeling his feelings about finding out about Itachi into his mother hen tendencies towards Shikako, but the way the rest of the natives reacted to his behavior implied that this was actually normal for him. She hadn't even heard of any training grounds being totally destroyed, which drove home the point that this Sasuke was almost a completely different person.

"It helps with the creative process," Shikako said in a deadpan tone. Coming from most Nara, Temari would assume that it meant that they were just too lazy to come up with a believable lie. She was a bit worried that Shikako actually might mean it.

Temari also wondered if Sasuke had developed social skills out of sheer self preservation. It seemed entirely possible at this point that he needed to watch out for Shikako's stress levels or she might just blow a hole in reality. And it would be a tossup if it was accidental or deliberate. Temari was starting to re-evaluate Shikako from having the social skills necessary to befriend Gaara to having the complete lack of self preservation necessary to notice that Gaara was potentially dangerous. 

"Is this normal?" Big Choji asked.

The native Shikamaru sighed. "This is actually better than last time. She's at least pretending to be functional this time."

"I am functional."

There was a chorus of sounds of disbelief, even from the toddler. Temari didn't think he understood the conversation, but he was a Nara so she wouldn't put it past him. Shikako just had a betrayed look on her face.

Temari didn't want to touch this with a ten foot pole, so she asked the older Choji "So are you two getting along better than the Inos or Shikamarus?"

"We're not not getting along," protested her husband.

"Just avoiding each other," muttered Shikako.

"Hypocrite," her brother muttered back.

Choji ignored the Naras and said "We're getting along fine."

The little Choji replied. "We still eat all the same foods. Mostly."

Even a year ago Temari would have misunderstood that as obsession with actually eating. In reality, for an Akimichi that said something about training style as well as emotional responses. What they were saying wasn't as superficial as taste in food, but hidden in a way that made people not close to members of the clan underestimate them. There was a reason that the Akimichi were a ninja clan and not samurai.

Big Choji smiled. "He's eating more than me at that age." Meaning that he was getting more intense or more advanced training.

Obviously everyone else in the room also understood the implication, except possibly Kino. Shikako just said "Huh" in response.

Big Choji nodded at that. "From the diet books, it looks like that went back all the way to the second year of academy." Okay, the fact that Choji remembered how much he was eating back then, that she could blame on an obsession with food for food's sake.

"I thought Shikako was the only difference you've found so far," Sasuke noted.

Temari's husband nodded. "Ino's competitive. For us, her biggest competition physically was Hinata."

Sasuke nodded. "And KO Shikako would have made her train more."

Her Shikamaru nodded. "Bringing up the average since even the girls who wanted to slack had to work harder or look like they weren't trying at all."

"And Shikamaru would have had to work harder if the class average went up," said little Choji in realization. "And if Shika was working harder, I would have worked harder."

"KO Shikako?" Temari asked.

Sasuke snorted. "Shikako fought to win even when she was a tiny little thing. She was the only one in the academy I was… concerned about sparring against. Technically, most of the clan kids were better in taijutsu, but she didn't need to be taught Ikken Hissatsu." The native Shikamaru and Choji twitched a little.

If she didn't need to be taught to kill with one strike, then Temari was revising the possibility that she and Gaara were kindred souls.

"It was nice seeing her lay out Ami with one hit," said little Choji, making Temari wonder if big Choji's unusual aggression lately had infected his counterpart or if this Ami was just that much of a bitch.

Shikako just looked confused. "I don't remember doing that."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I'm sure you don't. That was the same day as a certain earth shattering kaboom."

"Oh. Heh."

Shikaku sighed. "The headmaster still brings that up whenever he wants a favor." Yoshino shook her head as well.

"Sorry?"

Kindred souls it is.

Temari hadn't been there when Shikamaru and Choji had met with Asuma for the first time, since that happened while they were in Suna. Shikamaru had taken some pleasure in describing the look on Asuma's face when he talked about how great Mirai was. Nor was she there when Shikamaru and the rest of his team cornered Asuma to browbeat him into stop trying to hide his relationship with Kurenai.

She did, however, attend the engagement party. Temari didn't hear the reasoning about how they leapt from hiding their relationship to getting engaged in one jump. It probably didn't have anything to do with being pregnant since she didn't think Mirai had been conceived yet. It would be soonish, maybe half a year from now.

Though she avoided the two Inos at the party, who had started what appeared to be a very frank discussion with Kurenai. She didn't know what it was about and wasn't about to taint her ninja skills finding out, but the fact that no male would go within three meters gave her enough of an idea to avoid them as well. The male portion of Team Ten had their own huddle on the opposite side of the room. It sounded like Shikamaru was sharing stories about diapering mishaps. The other Shikamaru wasn't as disturbed about this as she expected but then she remembered that this Shikamaru was old enough to remember his baby brother as an actual baby.

Shikako joined Temari in avoiding both conversations, looking like she wanted to hide under the table. Of course, she probably really wanted to be working on the seal, but she was in a period of enforced downtime. She really did get all the motivation, and by that Temari meant for her clan and not just for her immediate family.

"No baby stories of your own?"

Shikako shrugged slightly. "Not really. I'm not a baby person." A bit odd, but definitely not unheard of for her age.

"I'm a bit surprised that the Inos are getting along now."

"They don't like having to share their dad," Shikako said in an offhand manner.

"Oh. Right. Shikamaru would be used to it since he's not an only child here and my Choji still has his dad. That makes more sense than the stuff Ino was telling me."

Shikako shrugged again. "What she said probably isn't wrong. The Yamanaka techniques depend a lot on knowing yourself."

Temari pinched the bridge of her nose. "So they're being honest when they call each other bitches. Okay, less depressing topic time. I still don't get how the lack of oxygen was so deadly for Danzo. I've fought holding my breath for longer than Danzo lasted."

"The short version is that Danzo was too paranoid. He assumed that it was poison and so he used Izanagi which drained chakra that he could have used to stay functional, and without oxygen he couldn't produce the physical energy necessary to regenerate chakra."

"So it was a bluff."

"I told him that Izanagi wouldn't help. It's not my fault he assumed that I meant an extra strong poison and not that it would kill him faster."

Temari snorted. "I'm pretty sure this an almost textbook case of it being your fault."

"It's his problem that he expects other people to lie," she replied primly.

"Expected. Past tense."

"I didn't actually think it would work out that well," the sealing mistress said in a musing tone. "I kept waiting to trigger the explosives, but he burned through all his chakra before I could try. Oh, that reminds me, I should share my notes on Gelel with you before you go back. It would be something concrete you can show for all this mess."

"How did that remind you?"

"It just did?"

Temari stared in horror at the notebook Shikako had opened on the table. It bulged. There were loose leaf papers shoved inside, as well as stickers and post it notes. Diagrams and drawings were sticking out. What's more, it was obviously in code. None of the symbols resembled kanji or kana. It was becoming terrifyingly clear that the reason Shikako had been unable to explain what happened in the Garden wasn't because she didn't remember, but because it was damn complicated subject.

"Those are your notes on the Garden?"

Shikako nodded, looking a bit ashamed. "It's a bit disorganized. I was never assigned to study it, so I've just been adding thoughts every now and then. I'll need to translate it for you."

Translate? Did she mean decode? Or did she mean translate it from Nara into sanity? Temari shot a panicked look at her husband.

"That might be an inefficient use of your time. If your seal to send us back works then we can send a message back and hire you for an A rank to investigate the Dead Wastes."

"With S rank pay if you succeed in reviving the Garden on our side," Temari added.

Shikako frowned. "I don't think two way communication will be possible. Targeting is… difficult. You should be able to get home because… it'd be like a rubber band snapping back into place. In theory I could come with you and then rubber band myself back home, but when I brought that up, Tsunade-sama gave me that look."

Temari didn't know which look that was, but that was because there were so many that would fit this level of insanity.

Shikamaru sighed. "Then perhaps you should just teach us the basics and let us write notes on that."

"Well, the Gelel stones are basically just crystallizations of…."

About three weeks into their stay, Temari went back to the Garden. She'd already absorbed everything she could from Shikako about the subject and wanted to feel the current chakra flows herself. Choji accompanied her. Shikamaru and Ino were too busy learning things from their alternate fathers about being clan heads that they didn't have a chance to ask before.

Choji was getting a bit impatient about the delay, but he understood the value that Garden could have for Suna and couldn't really begrudge Ino and Shikamaru the time with their alternate fathers. He did, however, warn them all that he was blaming the delay on them when Karui asked. Nevermind the fact that if it happened in the other direction it would have taken a lot longer with Jiraiya dead and him never having trained a sealing successor. It would have been better if they could have sent the local Jiraiya a recall notice, but the lazy bum probably wouldn't show up until Shikako was done anyway.

For what it's worth, there were more sealing students in the Nara clan compared to Temari's home dimension. Apparently this was also almost single handedly thanks to Shikako, who literally wrote the book on the subject (they planned to take a couple of copies to bring back as well as some lecture notes). Unfortunately, the rest of the sealing students focused on more useful subjects like medical seals, not trans dimensional travel or folding space/time.

Temari initially wondered how Shikako could be as dangerous as she was reported to be when she had so many interests, but rapidly realized that it was because she had so many interests that she was this dangerous. Shikako basically worked her way from one end of the library to the other and asked herself, "How can I kill someone with this?" with every book and came up with a surprising number of answers. Temari was certain that she'd be able to figure out a way to weaponize a book of kitten pictures. Sasuke definitely twitched when he saw her with a book on geology when they forced her to relax.

Temari never thought she'd actually feel sorry for the bastard.

In any case, all that led to Temari sitting in a room with her alternate dimension siblings while Choji checked out what kinds of foods the Garden produced. As far as she knew they weren't anything you couldn't find in Suna back home except in much more economically viable quantities, but she wasn't an Akimichi. Contemplating what Choji was up to was much less annoying than the conversation she was having with her family.

"What do you mean she never shared this with you?" Temari looked at her notes on Shikako's notes on the Garden.

Kankuro shifted guilty. "We never asked?"

Temari's younger self sighed. "It seems stupid now, but when all of this happened Shikako wasn't…. She didn't have the reputation of being Konoha's rising seals mistress."

Gaara nodded. "The Grass Chunin exams weren't for another two months. There was no reason for us to believe that she understood what had happened any better than we did."

"Unless you're counting religious reasons," the younger Temari muttered.

"What?"

Kankuro flinched then shot the native Temari a look. "Classified and kind of rude to talk about if Sparky's not here."

Temari stared at him for a moment. "Does this have anything to do with Sasuke complaining that Shikako had died? Multiple times."

Gaara cleared his throat. "There were multiple reasons not to press her on the subject."

"Well, maybe you should arrange to talk to her about it, because she had some thoughts about protecting dragon lines from sabotage and they sounded very much like she wasn't talking about hypothetical situations."

Gaara nodded. "There have been a statistically anomalous number of natural disasters in recent history. It's entirely possible that they are the result of an external agent or agents."

Kankuro snorted. "You've been talking to too many bureaucrats lately. You're starting to sound like them."

Gaara ignored his brother and said "It would be nice to have Shikako visit for longer than a night." Temari was pretty sure that he said that in the same tone that her Gaara would have if it had been Naruto rather than Shikako in that sentence. Hopefully that meant his feelings for Shikako were platonic rather than her Gaara's feelings about Naruto being romantic.

"Speaking of which, you hugged her when we left."

"Yes? Shikako is a physically affectionate person."

"Is this something you feel that's missing in your life? I keep wondering if father screwed us up badly that we don't hug."

"Truly a fine example of parenting," Kankuro muttered as he slouched further back in his seat.

"It would be awkward if we started hugging now. I cannot imagine any circumstances in which I would want to hug Kankuro."

"Point," chorused both Temaris.

Kankuro used a rude hand gesture. "I hate all of you."

Gaara nodded. "This is how he demonstrates his affection. If he tried to hug me, it would be unnatural and would make me wonder if he was secretly dying."

"Or just finally snapped," added the younger Temari.

Gaara tilted his head. "It's possible if he were dying I might hug him." That was a distinctly dubious tone.

Kankuro switched to both hands. "This is not a demonstration of affection."

Temari took solace in the fact that her family was fundamentally the same in both places.

Temari stood over the retching form of her younger self. "You're not as weak as I expected with all the desk duty you've been pulling." She meant it, too. Her younger self did about as well in this spar as Temari would have at the same age. She also had some of the same holes in her defenses as she did at that age too, which is how she got the wind knocked out of her.

Her other self thankfully took only a short time to recover and as she got back up, she said, "Akatsuki's coming for Gaara. We can't afford to slack off."

Temari couldn't remember what they knew about Akatsuki at this point in time, but she did remember not training as hard as she could. She wouldn't call getting to know her future husband a waste of time, but if she had known what was coming, she would have trained harder. "Your basic skills are good, but you need the edge from more actual combat experience. Especially with what's coming. They'll be moving before you know it."

"Half a year?" the younger Temari spat out.

"About that if Akatsuki is on the same time table. Let me show you a trick that helped against the Zetsus."

This Temari probably wouldn't be getting married at the same age. It was somewhat ironic, but that was a result of Suna's better position in terms of resources and allies. This Temari wouldn't need to spend as much time visiting Fire Country to secure Suna's future and instead spent most of her time on domestic concerns. Quite frankly, while she loved Suna, Temari had to admit that most of the men who lived there weren't exactly appealing romantically.

A week later they were ready to go home, which was frankly insane. Either punching holes between universes was a lot easier than Temari felt comfortable believing or Shikako was going to be just as much of a bullshit tier miracle worker as her teammates.

Temari's husband and his teammates were loaded down with copies of things lost in Pain's attack: training and technique scrolls, recipes, photos, and so on. It was basically repayment for the intel that the dimension travelers had brought with them. Unfortunately, they didn't have a good idea what the other clans had lost, so there wasn't much for anyone other than their clans. Suna hadn't lost as much, but Temari suspected that information on Gelel was potentially worth more long term. 

There was some sort of complicated dance about bounty money technically going to them and then being distributed to the clans to pay for their cargo that Temari happily ignored. Shikamaru and Ino seemed just as happy that it was their pseudo-father's headache to negotiate and not theirs. Choji had deflated their good moods by reminding them about what kind of paperwork they had waiting for them back home.

Shikako had lived up to Gaara's assessment as a physically affectionate person by giving the three returning Konoha nin hugs before they left. Shikako looked at Temari and said "No hug?"

Temari nodded. "No hug."

"That's alright. Yours will go to Gaara."

Anyone else and Temari would swear that Shikako was saying this to mess with her. Temari looked at her brother's alternate and saw that he looked pleased at the prospect. For Gaara.

Kakashi glared at Naruto. "Your luck has become infectious," he said flatly.

"I'm pretty sure we got it from you, sensei," Naruto said equally flatly.

"I don't-"

"Squirrels."

Kakashi sighed as if acknowledging a point. Temari both did and definitely did not want to know what that was referring to. Either way, neither Naruto nor the Hokage elaborated and Kakashi turned back to the newly returned dimensional travelers. "I get the gist. Submit the reports. You know what to do." Then he added under his breath. "I can't wait to retire."

"You're already making me do half your job," Naruto complained.

"And I get the other half," Shikamaru added.

"Then between the two of you, you've got this handled." Kakashi did that infuriating eye smile.

"Troublesome."

For once Temari wholeheartedly agreed with her husband, though Ino and Choji just looked amused. It was a toss up if they were more amused at Shikamaru's suffering or Naruto's.

A week later she was back in Gaara's office in Suna to brief her brothers on the Garden.

"And this girl was smarter than Shikamaru?" Kankuro said while not so subtly edging away from Temari's notes. This wasn't a fear of the contents so much as it was fear of the amount of work implied by the contents.

"About as smart, but more motivated and she doesn't like things like shogi. Her hobby is figuring out how to break things in new ways. Legs. Minds. Laws of nature."

"She sounds terrifying."

"The other you was actually good friends with her. But, yes, she was terrifying in the nicest way you could imagine."

Gaara looked up from the diagram of the dragon lines around the Garden. "Like Naruto?"

"Nicer. You were friends with her, too. She liked giving you hugs."

Gaara blinked slowly a few times at that. It was almost like he was trying to remember what a hug was and then kept discarding the answer as not making sense in context.

"I see what you mean by breaking minds now," Kankuro muttered.

"Oh and this is from her." Temari walked around Gaara's desk and gave him a hug. Shikako did say that Temari's hug was going to Gaara, right? Temari wasn't technically lying. Kankuro made a slight choking sound while Gaara awkwardly returned the hug with one arm (the other one was trapped by Temari's embrace).

"This is not unpleasant."

"Well, don't get too used to it. It's only going to happen on special occasions."

Kankuro keeled over, choking on his spit.

Temari released Gaara, walked over to her other brother and kicked him, friendly like. "Grow up, you idiot." Temari's mouth quirked up a bit, completely against her will. That felt much more natural. Though she might still give Gaara hugs in the future. Just on special occasions.