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Lounging on the couch, Zoro watched as Nami coerced Chopper into another shot - easily his sixth of the evening - as it seemed the woman was attempting to get the kid to spend Christmas hungover. A smile played about his lips as the guy eventually caved, and Nami happily patted him on the back before strutting off to bother more of her guests.
Nami and Vivi had done a tremendous job transforming their house into a wonderful mixture of holiday and birthday paraphernalia for both Christmas and Chopper's twenty-first birthday. They had gone all out with the decorations, and even got Sanji to cater the evening so the tables and kitchen were piled high with all sorts of confectionary, treats, and samplers. Luffy had already managed to decimate all the cookies that had been on the coffee table and the cook had come by to refill it.
Despite the festive mood however, Zoro was having a hard time getting into it. So he sat alone on the couch and watched people as he sucked on a beer. Purposefully staying out of the cook's path and making himself as scarce as possible. Ever since their unfortunate mishap on his birthday, him and the cook hadn't exactly been on the best of terms.
You'd think a month would be enough to let the dust settle, but you'd be wrong.
Around his fourth beer of the evening, Zoro watched as Ace made his rounds into the living room and, after stopping to greet a few people, made a beeline for Zoro. Tumbling onto the couch beside him, Ace raised his bottle and clinked it against Zoro's in greeting. He followed it with a long swig. Throwing his arm across the back of the couch and grinning at the green haired man, "Keeping my little brother out of trouble?
"That's a full time job."
"Innit tho?" Ace chuckled, "How you been?"
Lifting his shoulder in a half shrug, Zoro lazily tilted his bottle back against his lips after muttering, "Can't complain."
"How's the shop?"
"Cleaned out." A derisive snort rocked Zoro's body, "Turns out giving swords and knives as gifts is pretty trendy right now."
Even though he wasn't one for social media trends, he hadn't exactly been able to avoid it when he started getting people coming in droves to purchase swords as wedding presents, birthday, and christmas gifts. He'd spent the last week alone just working on commissions and engraving requests. And with only a few days until the actual day, Zoro still had several more to get done.
But he'd promised Nami weeks ago that he'd come to her combination Christmas/Chopper's birthday shindig. It was fun enough and the alcohol was free so he couldn't complain. However, he'd rather be working, it would at least distract him from how awkward it was being in the same room as Sanji right now.
"Damn," Ace chuckled as he raised his hand, twiddling his fingers thoughtfully and causing the orange string falling from his pinky to dance about. Adding with a sarcastic drawl, "and here I am completely swordless."
"No luck?" Zoro asked absently.
"Eh, haven't really been looking." Ace shrugged, fiddling with his beer bottle, "Work is a full time commitment; can't really be bothered."
Zoro nodded.
It made sense. The guy spent all his time at the firehall, working any and all shifts he could get. The guy loved his job, but the hours were insane; Zoro was amazed that the guy had even managed to get the night off to come to this party anyway.
With a nod to the teal string on Zoro's finger, Ace asked, "How's things with Sanji?"
"Mn." Zoro gave a soft grunt and lifted a shoulder in a half shrug. He took a long swig from his beer before finally replying, "Nothing to report."
"You still haven't told him?
Ace glanced across the room where Sanji stood cheerfully talking to Usopp, and Zoro's gaze followed. He had a beer and a cigarette clutched in one hand as the other waved about animatedly as he talked about something or other. Judging from how happy he looked Zoro would bet it was about women, or food. He allowed himself an extra couple seconds to watch fondly at how amazing the cook looked when he was smiling like that before tearing his eyes away.
It wouldn't do to have Sanji catch him staring. Not after what he did on his birthday and certainly not after they had finally come to an unspoken, tenuously fragile truce between the two of them. The whole reason they seemed to be able to be in the same room together was because neither would bring up what happened.
"Wow," Ace chuckled, catching Zoro’s stare, "you have it as bad as you did in high school."
Zoro growled to hide his blush.
"So, I'll take that as a no?"
"No,” Zoro heaved a sigh, regretful at that, “I did."
"Wait, really?!" Ace glanced between Sanji and Zoro hurriedly as an excited smile started to spread across his face. "That's awesome! Holy crap, I thought you'd never--"
"Calm down!" Zoro waved the man down, casting a furtive glance Sanji's way to make sure he hadn't heard anything and then glared at Ace, "Nothing happened."
"What?" There was bodily confusion from Ace, and he kept looking back and forth between Zoro and Sanji far too obviously. Finally settling on Zoro as he demanded, "I don't understand. What?!"
"I told him on my birthday." Thumb falling to pick at the label on his beer bottle absently as he was forced to relive the horrible memory. That pissed off look from the cook had hurt a million times more than the kick that had followed shortly after when the blond had punted him across the kitchen. He hadn't really remembered what the cook had screamed at him after, the crushing weight of rejection had kinda numbed him. "It didn't go well."
"Really?" Ace's eyebrows jumped into his hairline and he was back to looking over at Sanji, "What'd you do?"
Running an agitated hand through his hair, Zoro grimaced at the embarrassing memory. Hating that despite how horribly it had all gone that he still couldn't stop thinking about their kiss. He knew he should've been more upset by the memory, but all it did was make his heart race faster.
"I got a little drunk cause I was fucking terrified,” Zoro admitted, “I told him, and then..."
It had only lasted for five blissful seconds, but had been the most intoxicating experience of his life. He hadn't thought the cook would have tasted as good as he did, but the faint hickory on his tongue had been heaven, and the tobacco staining his lips had been everything Zoro had thought it would be. Everything about that kiss had been perfect, except for the moment it ended and Sanji had looked up at him enraged.
"And then I kissed him."
Ace sucked in air through his teeth and winced, clearly already imagining just how well that had gone for him.
"Yeah, he kicked me off him, screamed a bunch, and then left." Glancing down, Zoro realized he had completely scratched off the label of his beer and forced himself to lay his thumb flat. Taking a swig before sighing, "When I saw him next he just pretended the whole thing hadn't happened."
"Yikes."
"Mm." Zoro hummed in agreement, "Now he just hates me more."
"Oi, shithead!"
They both glanced over to see Sanji holding both his hands in front of himself with his teal string a tangled mess in his hands. He’d set his beer aside to begin a piece of string art that he was so fond of doing. Zoro watched as Sanji finished looping his thumbs through a few last strings before spreading his hands wide and pulling the strings taut until they formed a string art that messily strung out the words;
fuck off
Presenting it happily towards Zoro, Sanji smiled as though it were a piece of beautiful artwork, and proudly preened as Zoro inspected it flatly. It didn't even surprise him anymore. After Sanji had figured out how to make the string into a picture of hand flipping him off back in highschool, nothing really surprised him anymore.
Holding up his beer in a friendly salute to the message, Zoro tossed it back and turned to Ace once more with a sweeping gesture, "See?"
"I guess..." Ace frowned and swilled his drink, "sometimes it isn't meant to be?"
"Yup."
"I'm sorry, man." Clamping a hand down on Zoro's shoulder, he gave a reassuring squeeze, "I wish there was something I could do."
"It's okay." Zoro grunted as he pushed himself up off the couch, he needed another beer. Catching a pointed stare from Sanji out of the corner of his eye, he glanced down at Ace and smiled while trying not to sound too dejected, "I have a plan to fix everything."
Ace raised a curious brow, but said nothing.
~X~
The night continued on without incident. Festive joy was horribly contagious as everyone drank and caught up since they had all been busy before the holidays. Zoro reluctantly chatted with a few people he hadn’t seen since school, and he had managed to avoid any more run-ins with the blond.
At one point Sanji had brought out a birthday cake that Nami had had him make for Chopper. It was decorated like a snow-covered mountain, with little trees and reindeer flawlessly crafted out of fondant, modelling chocolate, and icing. A castle sat on top, and the whole thing was covered in strawberry sugar. After the song was sung - rather drunkenly - Zoro took his moment to duck out as everyone was divvying up the cake; it would be far too sweet for him anyway.
Going to the entrance, Zoro dug the card he'd gotten from Sanji out of his coat before heading back to the main area of the house. Passing the bathroom, the noises of the party reached him as he found his steps slowing until he eventually came to a stop.
Turning and leaning his back against a nearby wall as he looked down at the card in his hands with trepidation. He had been so certain about his choice earlier, but now that the time had come he was finding it harder and harder to follow through.
"What's that?"
Zoro visibly jumped, but let his hackles drop when he turned to see it was only Luffy. He relaxed drastically as he never had anything to hide from the guy. He let Luffy lean into his space to get a good look at the card before up at Zoro and raise a brow.
"It's for Sanji…"
"Well, then you better give it to him." Luffy laughed with a sweet smile as he pushed away and made for the bathroom, "You always get him great gifts."
"Yeah…" Zoro fought back a blush. “Right.”
Releasing an anxious breath, Zoro pushed off the wall and went back out into the main party to try and locate the cook. After a lap through the living room and kitchen turned up nothing, he eventually spotted the cook in the kitchen prepping some snack. He wasn't certain if it was lucky or not that he'd be able to give the cook his gift alone.
"Hey," Zoro announced his presence before immediately feeling awkward about how polite he sounded, and quickly tacked on a, "shitcook." for good measure.
Glancing over his shoulder, Sanji huffed, "Merry Christmas to you too, mosshead."
Hands growing suddenly sweaty, Zoro tucked the card out of sight as he leaned over to get a better look at the counter. Stalling as he asked, "What you making?"
"Fresh batch of butter tarts." Sanji explained as he transferred the treats from the cookie tray onto a decorative plate, "Pre-made, mind. Just heated them up. Luffy can eat a whole platter to himself."
"Huh."
"You couldn't sound more uninterested if you tried." Sanji drawled, snatching up a tart and turning to Zoro, "Want one?"
Waving it off, Zoro muttered, "Too sweet."
"Yeah, I know." Practically shoving the tart against Zoro's lips, Sanji rolled his eyes, "I made 'em with your picky ass in mind. Now here."
It was hard to fight the cook’s insistent shoving off with only one hand, and at the risk of causing the treat to slip and land on the floor he eventually let the annoying blond shove the treat in his mouth. Both hands coming up to cup beneath his chin to catch any stray pieces of crumble that might fall after Sanji had practically mushed the tart against his face.
As he finished wiping his hands off on a towel, Sanji jerked his head towards the envelope Zoro had stupidly forgotten was still clasped in one hand. Zoro paused his chewing as Sanji asked, "What's that?"
A trickle of dread went down his spine, before swallowing and murmuring, "Your Christmas gift."
"Oh!” Sanji seemed pleasantly surprised, but not so much so that it appeared he had thought Zoro had forgotten entirely. Grinning as he muttered, “How nice of you, mosshead.”
Sanji held out his hand, and Zoro felt the blood drain from his face as he reached out to place it in the cook’s hand. Every fibre of Zoro's being wanted to run after handing Sanji the card, but he forced himself to stay put. He had to make it seem like he wanted this as much as Sanji did, otherwise the cook would just pity him and refuse.
Flipping open the card, Sanji took a moment to read over what was inside. He went stock still as he started down at what was written in the card, Zoro waiting on pins and needles to know if he'd done the right thing or not. When Sanji looked up, his face was carefully blank, "This is expensive."
Not quite the reaction he had been expecting, but positive nonetheless.
"I know." Zoro replied easily. He'd thought about it long and hard, but if this was what would make Sanji happy, then he really didn't care if he'd be living on microwave noodles for the next couple months. At least Sanji would be free, and happy, and maybe Zoro would have a shot at actually being around the cook as his friend without their string always causing an unspoken tension.
"And..." Sanji paused, looking at Zoro like he was trying to figure out a puzzle, "this is what you want?"
This was a test.
This was Sanji's way of making sure that their kiss hadn't meant anything to Zoro, that it was all just a stupid drunken mistake. This was his way of confirming that Zoro completely agreed with Sanji that this soulmates thing wasn't going to work and that he wanted the same thing as Sanji; an out.
"Yeah." Zoro nodded, before amending with a smile, "Of course."
Something twisted on Sanji's face that Zoro couldn't read, but then his head was lowering and his bangs were hiding his face from view. He looked down at the gift in his hands silently. Zoro was unable to try to decipher the look, as he instead just waited to find out whether he had done the right thing.
"Well, thank you, mosshead." That charming smile was back, but Zoro couldn't help but feel that it felt forced. He wrote it off as him projecting his own dejection onto the cook; he supposed a part of him had been hoping Sanji wouldn't accept it. Forcing his own smile as Sanji snagged a bag off the counter and handed it to Zoro, "Mine's not nearly as thoughtful."
Taking the bag, Zoro tried not to grimace at the word. Right now all his thoughtfullness was making him want to hurl, and considering his steel stomach that wouldn't be happening anytime soon. It seemed he would just have to suffer in silence.
At Sanji's expectant look, Zoro shook off his uneasiness and instead dug inside the bag for the gift Sanji had gotten him. Hand enclosing around a case and pulling it free, only needing a moment to recognize it for what it was.
"A new sharpening kit." Zoro noted, a little surprised before looking at Sanji, "You know I can order these in at the shop, right?"
"Yeah." Sanji scoffed, "And you never do. Or you do and you stare at it in the case for months cause you never spend any money on yourself."
Zoro couldn't deny any of that.
Rolling his eyes, Sanji picked up the tray of tarts and darted past Zoro. Casting a final glance over his shoulder as he added, "Now you can finally have one for at home and stop whining."
"I don't whine--"
"Sure."
From Sanji's short tone and playful smile, it was clear he didn't believe a word and Zoro knew it was useless to argue. Replacing the kit back into the bag as he muttered at the cook's retreating figure, "Thanks."
However, the cook was long gone and Zoro figured there was no better time than now to make his escape. He'd already given Chopper his gift, and with everyone's Christmas gifts finally handed out he could officially leave without seeming rude. Plus, everyone was drunk enough now that no one would notice if he slipped out.
Carefully making his way past the living room, Zoro managed to sneak by without anyone calling for him. Back at the entrance, Zoro sorted through the mess of shoes until he managed to locate his own. Getting one half on before someone was calling out his name and he was forced to look up.
He got caught.
"Hey! Zoro."
"Uh… hi." Zoro muttered, confusion palpable.
Staring up at the dark haired girl that was currently in front of him. She had a drink in her hand, and Zoro knew she was one of Nami's friends but was completely blanking on the name.
"Hiyori." She clarified. Clearly catching on to Zoro's confusion, "Where you heading?"
"Home." Zoro grunted as he finished kicking on his other shoe. Grabbing his jacket out of the closet and shucking it on. Jerking at the lapels until it sat comfortably and then added, "I have work tomorrow."
"Ah…" Hiyori nodded with a disappointed look, "See ya around then."
"Uh… sure." Zoro returned the sentiment with obvious confusion, still not sure what her deal was. Stooping down to pick up the bag from Sanji and then giving an awkward wave as he turned and made his way out of Nami's place.
~X~
Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick.
The clock was broken.
Crossed arms, hands tensing and loosening, Zoro glared up at the clock in the clinic waiting room. The seconds hand had gotten lodged at and was now clicking at twice the normal pace. It was driving him insane, and it didn’t seem like anyone else in the waiting room had noticed.
Chancing a glance over to the cook, he found the man sitting far too casually in his chair; foot propped on knee as he thumbed through his phone with a bored expression. He seemed completely unperturbed, not the least bit disconcerted about the fact that he was about to have something severed that people spend their whole lives looking for. And they had been lucky to know each other from the very beginning.
No hopeless searching. No endless yearning.
Forcing himself to uncross his arms, he realized he had no clue what to do with his hands that wouldn’t be weird, so he recrossed them the opposite way and glared at the floor. Despite not wanting to dwell on the past and what had brought the two of them here, Zoro couldn’t help but think back on when they found out they were soulmates.
They had both just arrived at school to realize that their strings – that had manifested the night before – just so happened to lead to each other. There had been some teasing from other students, nothing Sanji and him couldn't handle - a few fights during their free blocks - and that had been that.
At the time neither of them had felt anything for each other. And with Sanji being such a skirt chaser they promised each other that their bond would strictly be platonic; it wasn't unheard of. Many soulmates that met ended up as best friends and such.
Of course, Zoro had to fuck the whole thing up by going and getting feelings for Sanji in the eleventh grade. Over the summer, Sanji had gotten a growth spurt that had birthed ridiculously long legs and patchy facial hair; Zoro never stood a chance.
All through high school and university, he kept it to himself. Through all the parties, and dating, and late night study sessions. It hadn't been an issue. And then he'd gone and fucked it all up by behaving like a drunken asshole and now the secret was out.
So naturally, the best way to fix it was to get rid of it.
If he could prove once and for all that he didn’t feel anything for the cook then certainly it would put all doubt out of Sanji’s mind for good.
“Excuse me?”
At the voice, Zoro glanced up in mild surprise, taken rather abruptly from his musings. Momentarily forgetting where he was as the nurse held out a clipboard to each of them while explaining, "Here are your consent forms."
Taking the clipboard with numb hands, Zoro fumbled the pen before glancing down at the writing that he was having trouble focusing on. All of it was suddenly feeling so real. This was the final step before they would be taken into the other room and have their thread officially Severed. He was beginning to have second thoughts…
With a covert glance at Sanji, he found the blond had already begun to hurriedly fill out the form and Zoro hated how easy it was to get distracted by how perfectly he held a pen and how flawless his writing was. His teal string flowing back and forth across the page as Sanji wrote, every once in a while it would catch and Sanji had to swipe it off before continuing. Really, it was sinful how dexterous those fingers were--
No… now was not the time to be getting distracted!
Going down the checklist, Zoro marked off all pre-existing conditions and other stuff the clinic was required to know pre-operation. Adding in all his personal information before signing the bottom with a stiff motion. As he slid the pen into the clasp at the top of the board, he handed it back to the nurse in a daze.
Barely even registering as the nurse made a motion, "This way." and he simply pushed himself to his feet.
Zoro felt like he was watching someone pilot his body as the nurse began showing him and Sanji down the hall. Everything went a little fuzzy and Zoro took a left down another hallway, a hand tangled in his shirt had him pausing to look at Sanji whom was gripping his shirt and pointing down the opposite hall, "This way, dipshit."
"Right." Zoro nodded, his voice sounding distant.
They were lead to a small medical room with a couple of chairs and various equipment. Zoro wasn’t really able to take anything else in as he remained in a trance while he was guided into a chair, and Sanji into another. A doctor greeted them and began talking, but Zoro heard nothing.
Right, this was the doctor that was going to perform the Severing.
The man’s last name had been a mess to remember, but Zoro distinctly remembered his name was Law. He’d come highly recommended from several people, and was considered one of the best Severing surgeons in the area. With more and more people getting their bonds Severed, and a bit of a single, bondless trend taking their generation by storm, his services were in high demand. It was part of the reason the procedure cost him an arm and a leg.
"You're going to feel a pinching sensation." Law explained, his words reaching Zoro as he found his shock beginning to fade. “It’s different for everyone. Pain will vary.”
Sanji nodded in understanding.
“Do either of you have any questions before we begin?”
“No.” Sanji said shortly, not even bothering to look at Zoro as he added, “I think you covered everything.”
There were still several things left unanswered, but Zoro assumed they must have been explained while he was spacing out, and he wasn’t about to ask the doctor to repeat himself. He didn’t need Sanji thinking he was having second thoughts or anything.
So he simply shook his head, “No.”
“Great.” Law pushed himself to his feet, heading over to a prepared tray, “Sit back properly and relax.”
Awkwardly positioning himself in the angled chair, he placed his arm on the special armrest and waited as the doctor returned wearing a pair of interesting gloves. There was an ethereal glow to them. And after taking a seat on his own stool, he wheeled himself over and picked up their string off the floor.
It was an odd feeling... someone handling their string besides them. Their string of fate functioned as most did; it lengthened and shortened depending on how close they were, it was completely opaque and untouchable by those around them, and they were only able to really play and touch with the end hanging closets to their own hand. But for the first time Zoro could sense a cold presence touching their connection.
He had to force his breathing to calm against the unnatural sensation.
Next, the doctor picked up a pair of shears with the same golden glow as the gloves and at that point Zoro had to look away. Staring resolutely at the ceiling as he didn’t think he could actually handle seeing their connection officially Severed without breaking down.
The initial touch of the scissors sent a shock straight up his arm and into his heart. It was a terribly cold sensation that gripped tight, and Zoro found himself struggling to breath. As the schears cut deeper it took everything Zoro had to not gasp out in pain. He had never suspected such a tiny thing could cause so much agony.
Chancing a glance at Sanji, he was horrified to see that the cook looked almost bored with the whole thing. Not a flicker of emotion, or a bit of pain was reflected there, and Zoro could only pray he wasn’t being nearly as transparent with his emotions as he felt.
A final sharp snap of the blades sliding together signified they had gotten through the string, and Zoro looked down in time to see the ends beginning to fall to the floor before disappearing entirely. That numbness from before had returned and blocked out the pain that was now radiating from his chest down his arm; he hadn’t thought about how the string would be connected to him beyond his hand.
“Alright.” Law grunted, “All done.”
Zoro didn’t want to look at his hand.
Couldn’t.
Pushing himself slowly up, he kept his gaze carefully pinned on the doctor as Sanji was quick to rise out of his chair and thank the doctor. Not waiting for a moment longer before he was turning to leave the room, and nearly got to the door before he was stopped.
"Wait." Law called after the blond, holding out paper with a prescription on it, "Here."
"I'm good." Sanji waved him off - sounding far too collected - as Zoro slowly looked up to watch him as he smiled, "Thanks."
They watched him go, and then Law turned towards Zoro and proffered him the paper instead. With a muted shake of his head, Zoro pushed himself to his feet as well and managed a soft, “Thank you.” before following after the blond. Ignoring the questioning frown from the doctor and quickening his pace so he wouldn’t have to deal with any awkward questions.
Storming out of the room, Zoro managed to make it down the hall and halfway back to the clinic reception before the emotions he had been trying to flee caught up with him. Stumbling to stop and tilting his head back as he gasped up at the ceiling in an attempt to choke down a painful sob. His chest ached and he wasn't certain if it had to do with their bond getting Severed or because this was just confirmation that Sanji had once and for all rejected him.
A slow, ragged breath burst from Zoro's throat. He hadn't known heartbreak could hurt this bad, but he'd gladly take another sword to the chest than feel this a moment longer. With a shaky breath he slowly lowered his head and glanced down at his hand before feeling his knees go weak.
Falling back against the wall, Zoro slumped into the surface so it held his weight, he felt his entire world tilt as he stared down at his hand. He slowly rotated it, but no matter which direction he turned it the string was gone. Head beginning to spin, he felt his knees buckle and he began sliding down the wall.
Landing on the floor, he stared down as it began to tremble. Soon becoming blurry as it took several confused moments for him to realize his eyes were beginning to fog up. Blinking, he tried to hold back the tears that wanted to surface, but despite his best efforts, he felt his eyes beginning to sting, and pressure in his forehead build until he was forced to press both of his balled up hands against his eyes.
Refusing to let a tear actually fall over this.
This was for Sanji, all of it was so that Sanji could be happy and if that meant no string, then no string. Sanji could go on to live his best life, and Zoro could at least try to do the same. He didn't want to shed a single tear for the cook; he wasn't his to cry over.
A surge of pain yawned in his chest at the thought, and the minimal control he'd managed to get over himself started to slip. Pulling one hand away, he slammed his fist into the ground at his side and gasped loudly. Pain blossomed up his knuckles and into his hand, but it provided a cold clarity that scared away any thoughts of crying.
Sitting alone in the hallway, panting quietly as he worked through the pain, honing in and focusing on it as it became his new center. Grinding his injured hand further into the ground as he drowned out everything else he was feeling.
~X~
A loud banging at his door had Zoro cracking open a sleep crusted eye. Groaning a moment later as sobriety hit him like a brick, and the foul combination of morning breath and piercing headache made his whole head feel like shit. He dragged a hand down his face and slowly pushed himself up.
At another insistent knock, Zoro barked, "I'm comin'! Fuck."
Sitting for a moment on the couch slumped forward, Zoro tried to get his bearings and check his mental faculties. Aside from the splitting headache everything else seemed alright, but he was pretty sure he slept on his arm funny because his shoulder ached. Scratching the side of his head, a twinge in his hand reminded him that his knuckles were still busted too.
With a heavy sigh, Zoro pushed himself up and snagged his phone off the coffee table. Thumbing through his notifications and grimacing at all the missed texts and calls from multiple people in their friend group. It seemed he had been on his drinking binge for a little longer than he had thought; several days.
Shoving the phone into his back pocket, Zoro threw open his apartment door and froze at the sight of Sanji standing on the other side looking remarkably more put together than Zoro was. While Zoro was in black sweats, a stained white shirt, and probably had drool crusted to the corner of his mouth from napping for several hours, Sanji was dressed like he had somewhere important to be.
A freshly ironed, dark green button up sat beneath a black blazer, and was tucked into a pair of pressed slacks that always fit the blond's hips far too well. Hair perfectly coiffed and Zoro was certain the man had probably spent an hour in the mirror to get his bangs to swoop so attractively into his eyes. A firework embroidered tie completed the whole look.
Masking his approval, Zoro grunted shortly, "What?"
The sooner he got Sanji out of his sight, the sooner he could try to forget the sinful image he was being presented with. Or maybe he'd just go to his room and jack off to the thought of pulling the cook out of those clothes. He hadn't decided yet, but he was feeling spiteful so probably the latter.
"Nami sent me." Looking Zoro over, Sanji winced, "Dude..."
"It's my time off." Zoro muttered, "Fuck you."
"Yeah, well," Sanji huffed, "Nami's New Years party is in an hour and since you weren't answering her calls she sent me to chaperone you there."
"I don't need your help."
Meeting Zoro's defiant stare with a flat look of his own, he stared off with Zoro as he promised, "I'm not asking."
Zoro growled.
Heaving a sigh, Sanji shouldered past Zoro into his apartment and came to stand in the middle of his living room. He only looked around in disgust for a few moments – shorter than Zoro had been expecting – before leveling a tired expression on Zoro.
"Get in the shower." He ordered, shucking off his jacket and setting it aside on a surface he deemed clean enough. "I'll see what clean clothes I can round up for you to wear."
Zoro wanted to protest.
The last thing he wanted right now was to be ordered around by his ex-soulmate. If anything, it was just adding salt to the wound having Sanji here picking up after Zoro and dealing with him. However, he knew arguing was pointless because if he didn't show up to Nami's thing he'd never fucking hear the end of it.
And it wasn't like he could give the actual reason why.
Storming past the blond, he decided to just keep his mouth shut and get this whole evening over with. Getting to the bathroom and hopping in the shower, Zoro scrubbed off a couple days worth of filth that had accumulated from laying on the couch and consuming bottle after bottle of rum. And when he stepped out, he felt remarkably better despite the headache.
Glancing around, he realized he had no clean towels and began to consider that maybe he had been drunk for a couple days too long. Snatching his shirt off the ground, he used it to dry his hair and the bits of him that were more wet than others before deciding he had already shed the last of his dignity involving the cook a long time ago and left the bathroom naked.
Heading to his room across the hall, he stopped short as he found the blond waiting in his room. Wet shirt still clutched awkwardly in his hands as Sanji began talking upon his arrival and turned to him with freshly picked out clothes in his hands.
“You really need to do your laundry, I mean all you have ar-- oh, fuck me!” Slamming the clothes he had been holding over his face, Sanji muttered into the fabric, “What is wrong with you?!”
“Me--?” Zoro balked, hucking his wet shirt towards the laundry basket that was currently empty since all his dirty clothes were on the floor instead. Scowling as he barked, “What are you doing in my room?!”
Lowering the clothes, Sanji glared back at Zoro, “I told you I was finding you clean clothes to wear!”
“I can dress myself!”
“Evidence to the contrary! Here.” Sanji tossed the clean pants and underwear at Zoro before returning to the closet while muttering, “Philistine.”
“Nothing you haven’t seen before.”
Grumbling as he began pulling on the clothes; at least it was beginning to feel like they could argue with one another without it being awkward.
Perhaps he could do this...
“Don’t remind me.” Sanji drawled, turning up his nose at a paisley shirt and tucking it deep into the closet as if the garment had personally offended him, “You’d think having all you guys as roommates in uni would’ve gotten me used to you guys wandering around naked all the time.”
Finishing up the pants, Zoro turned to Sanji expectantly.
A weird look was on the cook’s face - eerily similar to the one at the Christmas party - but then he was rolling his eyes and holding out a shirt and the moment passed. Taking the dark blue button up from the blond, he fumbled putting it on and then struggled with the buttons for several minutes as he realized his hungover brain was not fit for this. After a minute, it seemed that Sanji got fed up with waiting as he slapped Zoro’s hands out of the way and did it himself. Pointedly not looking at Zoro as he worked quickly and quietly.
It was so obvious Sanji was trying to be civil. He was clearly watching everything he said, and was pointedly ignoring any subject of conversation even remotely relating to their strings, hands, or old bond in anyway. Zoro assumed it was Sanji’s way of trying not to kick Zoro while he was down.
Honestly though, Zoro would prefer it.
Get everything out all at once. He’d prefer going cold turkey than to be waterboarded for the next several months with Sanji’s pity. However, it wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have in his apartment, and especially not before a party they’d have to spend several hours at together.
It was a conversation best left for the new year.
Finishing up the final button, Sanji stepped back and waved a hand, “Tuck it in.”
Zoro made a disgruntled face but did as he was told.
Checking his phone, Sanji returned it to his pocket while heaving a sigh of relief. “Made it with time to spare; at this rate we’ll actually be able to get there on time.”
With his shirt tucked in, Zoro held his arms out and asked pointedly, “Good?”
Looking Zoro up and down, he couldn’t help but feel Sanji was being more critical than he needed to be, but when the prissy cook finally stopped assessing him, he looked satisfied. Giving a huff and a shrug, “You’re acceptable.”
Zoro rolled his eyes. “Yay.”
“Shut up, let’s go.”
~X~
Standing off to the side, Zoro tried to be as far from the music as physically possible, while also not hiding in the closet to escape the noise. In the rush to get out the door, Zoro hadn’t even thought to grab something for his headache, and now he was nursing it with hair of the dog. Sipping at his beer, Zoro was at least grateful he had a couple more days of being a degenerate alone in his apartment before going back to the store and rejoining society.
People had stopped by here and there to chat for a bit, but most of them had moved on when they realized he was in a bit of a grumpy mood. Which suited him just fine, the sooner this party was over the sooner he could get back to his couch and sleep the rest of this hangover off.
It remained uneventful as Sanji ran about being his normal cheerful self. No one appeared to have noticed the lack of string on either of their fingers, but Zoro kept his in his pocket just in case. Managing to make it all the way to midnight as everyone began counting down loudly. Zoro stumbling out in the main room to quietly take part.
“Ten!”
Start of a new year.
At least Zoro had the prospect of uninhibited horizons to look forward to. With so many people getting on the Severed bandwagon, it wasn’t like he’d never meet someone again… not that he was looking. No one had ever interested him even remotely beyond Sanji.
“Nine!”
But at least he had his shop. And plenty of work to busy himself with.
“Eight!”
Sanji and him could properly be friends once more, and Zoro would be able to focus on his passions again. Without a soulmate, it wasn’t like there would be anything else occupying his time; not that Sanji ever really did, but now his options were open.
“Seven!”
Maybe move and try someplace new.
“Six!”
There was that kendo tournament he’d been thinking of entering. Work had kind of sidelined his competitive career, but now more than ever he felt like training once more might be a good outlet for all this anger and grief. With Christmas over, the shop would be slow so he would have more than enough time.
“Five!”
This was for the best.
“Four!”
Sanji was happy.
“Three!”
Damn it…
All the couples were pairing off for the final call and Zoro never felt more alone in the moment. Despite the multiple people at the party that were solo and simply counting down with elation, it was hard for Zoro to not notice how Nami was pulling VIvi close, or Usopp who was already happily kissing Kaya.
“Two!”
He just wanted to crawl into a hole for a while.
“One!”
Don’t think about kissing Sanji. Don’t think about kissing Sanji!
“Happy New Year!”
The cheer went up all throughout the house. People kissing, mini-confetti cannons being set off, and multiple bottles of champagne were popped. Music once more swelled throughout the house as the celebration continued and Zoro was feeling more and more smothered.
A hand landed on his arm, and a voice murmured near his ear, "Hey, Zoro!"
"Hm?"
Turning around, Zoro's eyebrows jumped as he was face to face with Hiyori. About to return the greeting, and nearly dropped his drink, when Hiyori wrapped her arms around his neck and began pulling him down. Eyes bugging as she threaded her hands into his hair and murmured against his lips, "Happy New Year~"
A startling crash broke them apart moments before she could actually complete what she'd been trying to do, and Zoro immediately took a panicked step back. Heart still pounding in his throat in panic as he hadn't expected the girl to move that fast; he was almost embarrassed he didn't have his guard up better.
They both turned to look over the island and into the kitchen where Sanji stood, hands still raised while looking at the floor. Judging from the wet dots on his pants and shirt he'd dropped something.
"Whoo!" Usopp cheered. Holding his own beer up in salute while still keeping his other hand around Kaya, "Party foul!"
"Wow, Sanji." Luffy snickered as he practically climbed on top of the island to look over at the mess, "It's usually me."
"Yeah, yeah." Sanji snagged a towel from the sink and whipped it at the boy before dropping to a knee and beginning to carefully collect all the shattered glass. "Shut up."
Initial shock fading, the party meshed back into motion. Conversation and music once more drowning out the awkward silence as Sanji gathered up all the remaining glass and put it in the trash. Then using the rag to begin wiping up the spilled drink as Zoro caught a glimpse of the blond's face through his bangs and was shocked to see the cook looked… upset.
A spilled drink wasn’t enough to get the cook that emotional.
Pulling his gaze away, Zoro turned back to Hiyori who was currently running a finger along the seam on his shoulder, as she cooed, "Where were we?"
"I need another beer." Zoro grunted as he disentangled himself from the clingy girl. Needing to remove her hands several times before managing to get her off and escaping to the kitchen just in time to see Sanji shoving on his shoes and heading out to the back yard.
Zoro debated going and getting his shoes, but decided he didn’t want to waste the time and instead followed Sanji out to Nami and Vivi’s backyard. It was winter, but there was no snow. The air was crisp and the patio had a chill to it, but nothing Zoro couldn’t ignore as he made his way over to where Sanji stood, right where the patio met the lawn, smoking, and… shaking.
It was a little cold, but not enough it should’ve bothered the cook no matter how skinny he was.
As he got closer, his suspicions from earlier were confirmed as a poorly concealed sniffle told him that the cook was indeed crying. Well… as close as the cook every got to crying. It was more like smoking angrily, and tears just happened to also be a byproduct of the situation.
Coming to a stop behind the cook, Zoro didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t certain what he had done wrong this time, and he was officially out of ideas for fixing things.
"What the fuck do you want?" Sanji grumbled as he attempted to wipe away any of the excess tears. Cuffs of his button up a shade darker by the time he sent a glare over his shoulder at Zoro, his eyes still noticeably red as he growled, "Haven't you done enough?"
"I..."
Turning his back to Zoro, Sanji purposefully looked out towards the adjacent yard so Zoro couldn't see anything but the back of his head. He watched as Sanji raised a hand to pluck his cigarette away and could hear the man blow out an agitated stream of smoke before snarling, "Go the fuck away."
It stung, but Zoro was getting pretty used to Sanji's rejections at this point. Instead, he just stood resolutely as he asked, "Would that make you happy?"
A shocked laugh startled both of them, and soon Sanji's whole body was shaking, but for a different reason.
"Ho oh oh-- oh my GOD." Sanji laughed hysterically into the cuss, rounding on Zoro with a scowl, "What'd make me happy is your stupid face in the ground."
Before Zoro had a chance to say anything else, Sanji was tossing his cigarette aside on the wet grass and aiming a kick at Zoro’s head. Zoro took a shocked step back and nearly slipped on the frosty deck, catching himself, but not before Sanji connected a round kick that sent Zoro flying back onto the lawn.
Zoro barely recovered his footing before Sanji was launching himself off the deck and trying to put his heel through Zoro’s head.
“You. Stupid. Jerk.” Sanji enunciated each word with a poignant kick, Zoro doing his best to block and dodge each blow as he wasn’t really in the mood to fight back. With Sanji already clearly upset, it didn’t seem right. Another kick aimed at Zoro’s stomach as he spat, “You’re the worst.”
Knowing he couldn’t dodge it in time, Zoro caught the foot with his palm and the force of the kick reverberated through his injured hand. Releasing Sanji’s foot, he grabbed his wrist with a wince, and the moment of pain seemed to just piss the cook off more as he started advancing on Zoro.
Expecting a kick, or even a knee, Zoro hadn’t been ready for Sanji to duck into his space, plant both hands on his chest, and push him back as hard as he could. Landing on his ass on the wet grass, Zoro remained there, stunned, as Sanji stood above him, panting heavily. His hair was a mess, his tie was crooked, and his shirt had become partially untucked.
"I know I'm not perfect, but... FUCK," Sanji ran a distressed hand through his hair. Zoro catching a haunting glimpse of the man's face unobscured and feeling his heart ache anew. Not even the anger twisting his face could take away from how breathtakingly beautiful he was. "Am I really that intolerable?"
Zoro's heart skipped a beat.
"...what?"
It was less than a whisper.
Zoro wasn't even certain if he said it or not, but Sanji's answering look of confusion confirmed that he must have. It didn't make sense though that Sanji would be the one confused; it was almost annoying that he had the gall to act confused. Zoro was the one that had the right to be confused!
“No, fuck you!” Sanji snarled. Taking a step forward and pointing down at Zoro, “You don’t get to look like that! I get to look like that; after all the bullshit you put me through! You’re just a fucking asshole!”
All of a sudden Sanji was turning on his heel and storming off, leaving Zoro sprawled out on the lawn more than a little befuddled. None of it making any sense. He tried to process the words, but even as he did, Sanji was getting further and further away.
Hold on...
Something wasn't adding up.
Springing to his feet, Zoro sprinted after the cook and managed to stop him just before the porch by snagging Sanji's wrist. He gripped tight to keep the blond from taking another step, but received a shocked and indignant look for it. First at where Zoro was gripping him, and then up to Zoro's face as he silently demanded answers for this sudden manhandling.
Pain twisting Zoro's face into something horrible as he choked out, "I did it for you."
"What?!"
“Getting our bond Severed.” Zoro said bluntly, “I did it because I thought it would make you happy.”
Sanji gaped, “In what universe do you think that would me happy, you fucking moron?!”
“You always made it pretty clear you just wanted to be friends,” Zoro defended, “and then after my birthday you made it pretty obvious you weren’t happy about my feelings,”
“Your feelin--” Some of the tension had begun to drain out of Sanji, and the cook relaxed his stance enough to arch a brow at Zoro and sneer, "You and I remember your birthday very differently."
"How…” Releasing Sanji’s wrist, Zoro returned his hands respectfully to his sides. “How do you remember it?"
"You drunkenly groping me and telling me we should do it cause, and I quote,” Uncrossing his arms to sign air quotations as he finished quoting Zoro with a loathsome tone, “'It's gonna to happen anyway' before you kissed me with all the grace of a fucking fish out of water."
“Oh.” Zoro scratched his head as suddenly the whole situation seemed a whole lot less complicated, “Huh.”
“”Huh’, fucking ‘huh’! That’s all you have to say?!” At this point, Sanji was practically spitting fire, “I waited weeks for you to apologize and you just pretended like it didn’t happen. I assumed you were too drunk to remember, you selfish jerk!”
“I didn’t mean it like that…” Once more this was all feeling like a surreal nightmare, “I was just... nervous…”
“Nervous?!” Sanji wailed, “About what?! Mouthing me like a bass?”
Zoro grimaced.
The kiss hadn’t been that bad in his memory, but it seemed he was drunker than he thought. Although perhaps Sanji was playing up his annoyance simply to pester Zoro - it wouldn’t be the first time - either way it felt like something that he wasn’t going to be allowed to live down.
“No.” Zoro eventually denied, “Not that.”
“Well?!”
This was it.
This was the chance that he should’ve take at his birthday that he’d somehow managed to royally fuck up to cause this whole mess. But now he had a second chance to say it right. Really tell everything to Sanji that he’d wanted to for years.
And really, what else did he have to lose at this point?”
“I wanted to tell you that I’d wanted you for a while now,” He could feel the heat growing in his cheeks so Zoro looked away, focusing on the grass beneath his feet and his cold toes. Memory alone twisting painfully in his chest as he had to choke through his next words, “that I… wanted to be more than platonic.”
Sanji didn’t say a word.
Keeping his head hung, Zoro amended, “I didn’t think it came out so poorly…”
At the following growl of anger, Zoro looked up.
"You're telling me..." A dark look shadowed Sanji's face as he slowly raised his head, advancing on the swordsman with murderous intent, "that you got us Severed because of a fucking misunderstanding?!"
"Oi!" Before he could even register it, Zoro was taking a step backwards away from Sanji’s furious path, but managing to raise a finger to brandish at the blond in an attempt to defend himself, "You weren't exactly clear about your feelings either! You could've said you didn't wanna do it!"
"I was going with it,” Sanji sounded a little hysterical at this point as he reached Zoro and knocked his hand aside with a swift slap. Following up on Zoro’s shock by placing his hands on Zoro’s chest and angrily shoving him backwards while snarling, “because I thought it was what you wanted!"
"Well,” Stumbling from the shove, Zoro recovered and stopped retreating and he stepped forward to get right in the advancing blond’s path to yell back, “so was I!"
Shoving a finger into Zoro’s chest, Sanji jabbed a few times to make his point as he practically had his forehead against Zoro’s as he barked right in Zoro’s face, "You're a fucking moron!"
"Then what does that make you,” Zoro yelled right back, way too riled up about this whole stupid mess to think about how close they were at the moment, “you dumbass?!"
"A dumbass in love with a fucking moron!" Sanji screamed, and at this point it was amazing that nobody had come out on the porch to check up on them. However, they fought enough that it was normal, and the music was loud enough that perhaps they hadn’t been heard yet, but Zoro had heard every word. Freezing in place as Sanji continued before balking at his own words, “How could you possib--”
Sanji’s eyes widened in horror.
All the rage, and hurt, and raw emotion drained out of Zoro in an instant upon hearing those words. He still wasn’t certain if he had heard the cook correctly because it would be too good to be true. It didn’t feel possible to live in a reality where the cook might actually fully, and unconditionally, return his feelings.
Hoping against hope, Zoro murmured softly, "...what?"
"No. Nope. Nuh-uh." Face bright red, and an incredibly annoyed scowl on his face, Sanji clamped a hand over his mouth before mumbling into his palm, "I didn't say shit."
“You said you loved me…”
Hair tousled from their fight, Sanji shook his head vehemently and only made it worse, but he kept his hand over his mouth and wouldn’t verbally deny it. And despite shaking his head, his eyes read an entirely different emotion; one Zoro had seen in the mirror many times.
Trepidation. Fear… Longing.
Gaze falling down to the other hand of the cook’s that remained by his side. Looking quietly to where Sanji’s teal string - their teal string - that had signified their soulbond had rested for years, but was now horribly absent. Heart torn in two at the elation of finding out Sanji’s true feelings, and guilt over what he had done to the both of them. It felt like the world was laughing at him.
Carefully reaching out his hand, he took up Sanji's free hand in his and gently handled the appendage that he knew was so valuable to the cook. His heart pounding in his chest as Sanji let him gently caress his hand as he had wanted to do for years. Eventually threading their fingers together until his pinky overlapped with Sanji's, laying atop exactly where their strings used to be attached.
Raising a shy gaze to meet Sanji's, he found the embarrassed blond still glaring at him despite the flush that decorated his cheeks. That frowning only making him seem more adorable as Zoro took a step forward and murmured softly, "I love you too."
Slack hand falling away from his mouth, Sanji stared at Zoro with impossibly wide eyes and a painfully distraught look that Zoro hated being responsible for. Pulling Sanji's hand up to his lips and gently kissing his pinky in a silent apology, knowing it’d never fix anything. Letting his eyes fall shut, he raised their hands to press against his forehead in gratitude.
They stood that way for a long time, until Zoro had the courage to open his eyes once more and look at Sanji. His face half lit in ambient light from the house, and even though his watery eyes had returned, a dopey smile was on his face instead.
Hand tightening around Sanji’s, Zoro muttered shamefully, “I’m sorry.”
"You did it because you thought it'd make me happy." Sanji smiled, and then rolled his eyes and admitted, "And that's kinda sweet."
A painful smile twisted his lips.
Everything Sanji was saying was true, but it didn’t make his actions hurt any less. The reality of what they had done was still very notable, and Zoro didn’t think any amount of apologies could undo it.
“I should’ve just--” Zoro cut himself off with a growl, his regrets mounting as he couldn’t believe how stupid he’d been. How stubborn they’d both been. Hand squeezing Sanji’s tight as he pressed his forehead into Sanji’s shoulder and spoke around gritted teeth, “I mean if I had just not been so--”
His words cut off for a second time.
Anger and frustration were making it hard for him to form a proper thought, and he was just about to begin cursing when Sanji’s arm came up to wrap around his shoulders. All tension and aggression draining out of him with starting agility, as though it was being forced out by Sanji’s embrace. He slumped forward into the blond’s arms as the cook pressed cold lips to his neck and spoke.
"It's just a stupid fucking string, I don't need it to know I want to be with you." Sanji muttered, a nervous pause and his grip tightened, "But I don't want you to be with me because you think it means you have to."
"I never thought that." Zoro declared adamantly. Releasing Sanji’s hand so he could raise both his arms and return Sanji’s embrace with painful rigidity. Falling short as he added into the blond’s shoulder with a mumble, "Not for a moment."
A slow breath eased from Sanji, and it felt like a mountain of tension slumped off the man in an instant. Leaning into Zoro’s embrace before he started shaking once more. Zoro worried he had maybe done something else as he pulled back only to find the cook laughing to himself.
Bright smile on his face as he chuckled, “We’re kinda idiots, huh?”
“You said it.” Zoro drawled, “Not me.”
Stepping a little closer, a soft look replaced the cook’s chuckling, “Wanna try that birthday kiss again?”
“You gonna kick me again?”
“No promises.”
Raising his hand, Zoro slowly trailed his fingers across the cook’s cheek and flicked a few stray bangs so he could touch Sanji’s cheek unobstructed. Palm caressing the smooth skin and his fingers drawing a line down the man’s strong jaw, finishing the motion by tucking his hand into the sinfully soft blond hair. A faint blush tinted the cook’s cheeks at the tender motion, and before Zoro could stop himself he was leaning in.
They came together as one. Meeting in the middle as Sanji’s mouth slanted open like it should have the first time, and like it would hopefully do every time from now on, as he deepened the kiss immediately. Zoro’s grip tightened on the back of Sanji’s neck as he pulled the man closer and succumbed to him.
A distant crackling reached his ears, followed by successive booms that seemed to echo all around them. Lights flickered and danced behind his closed eyes, and it took several moments for him to realize that they were actually New Years fireworks being set off, and not just his imagination. Despite that every kiss felt like an explosion of euphoria inside his chest, and he couldn’t tell if his hands were numb from happiness or the cold.
Even as the kiss ended, Zoro could still feel the tingle of Sanji’s lips on his own and each warm breath from the cook washing over his face. Eyes slowly sliding open, Zoro watched as the fireworks continued to paint the blond’s alabaster skin in wonderful tones of pink and blue. Sparks and explosions sparkling in his eyes.
Sanji’s hands slipped from his shoulders, and the blond looked down. Even when a look of surprise lit up the man’s face, Zoro found he couldn’t look away. Wouldn’t. He’d waited years to stand this close, to gaze at the other, and nothing was going to stop him now.
As Sanji looked back up, Zoro got lost in those eyes once more and found his heart melting at the sweet smile he found there as Sanji leaned in close. A familiar tug on his pinky had Zoro frowning, and Sanji gently brushed his lips across Zoro’s before murmuring, “Look down.”
With a final, long gaze at the man, Zoro glanced down at his hand.
A soft gasp echoed between the two, and then he smiled.
The End
~X~
Epilogue
"Well…" Turning his hand over and inspecting the reappeared string, Zoro grunted, "that was a waste of money."
Sanji laughed until he had tears in his eyes.