Archive of Our Own ^beta

not long after the first snow falls in magnolia, gajeel packs a small bag and sets out on a trip to the lake just north of town.

the day is almost warm, which is almost unusual for being this far into november but at the same time, it’s not. he takes his time in his short trip, enjoying the weak sun when it peeks through the clouds and breathing the fresh mountain air. 

the view from up there is beautiful, he has to admit. magnolia stretches out before him and if he looks just hard enough, he can see the guild in the far east side of town. the wind runs over his skin and through his hair and he closes his eyes for a moment. it feels as if he’s flying.

gajeel arrives at the lake sometime after high noon. the water is smooth, not a single wave breaking its surface. he drops his bag on the shore, then dips one gloved hand into the water. it’s cold, chill seeping into the worn leather of his fingerless gloves, but he finds it doesn’t bother him.

he sits by the shore and removes his boots, then lays them on the side along with his bag. his coat follows. closing his eyes, gajeel tugs his gloves off as well. then, mindful to not look at the ugly jagged scars on his palms, he undoes his braid and lets his hair fall loose down his back.

the wind dances around him, picking up his mane. he smiles and closes his eyes, leaning back on his bare hands. it’s peaceful, so high up the mountain. his family hadn’t minded it when he said where he’d planned to go, but he knows if here to be even a minute later than he’d promised, he’d have a whole search party sent after him. 

gajeel slides one leg into the lake, then the second one as well, and walks. he stops only when the water comes up past his waist. overhead, the sun has finally managed to break through the clouds and shines down upon him. the lake’s surface glimmers, as if filled with countless diamonds. 

the water is freezing, but the cold doesn’t bother him. gajeel lowers his hands into the lake, until the water fills palms, then lifts them up and splashes it over his face. it trickles into his hair and down his chest, soaking into his clothes, but he doesn’t mind it.

he stands in the lake for a while, just enjoying the bite of the cold at his bare feet and the pull of the wind on his hair. 

“hello,” he says after a while, to no one in particular. the water is peacefully still around him. “i’m here again.”

no one answers. it’s not like he expected someone to, though, so the dragon slayer continues.

“if you could see me now, you’d probably try to chase me out of the water, but you’re not here right now, so i’d take that in my advantage.

“lots of stuff happened last year. i mean, you probably know that already — i can bet you saw it from up in the sky, or wherever dragon souls go after you pass away.

“the guild’s together again. can’t say i’m surprised, honestly. fairy tail is a bunch of stubborn assholes. we stick together.” he runs his hand over the calm water, watching the small waves that follow the motion. “i missed them. ordering soldiers in the council is all cool, sure, but there’s nothing like the sound of a chair flying just past you. that’s the kind of memories you wanna keep, ain't it?

“levy and i finally got together. yes, i know it took me two years, i don’t need your judgmental silence.” there is no judgment, not really, but the wind twirls around him and blows a lock of hair over his face. “she warned me i’m sleeping on the couch tonight if i don’t return by sunset. i’m not sure if she’s going to go through with that threat, but i don’t wanna risk losing my cuddling privileges.

“wendy finally grew taller than natsu. not that it was a hard thing to do, considering how small they are, but now i have to deal with natsu running around with wendy on their shoulders and yelling stuff about height mutations i’m not sure i want to know.” a smile breaks on his face. “it’s almost cute, y’know, as long as you forget all the yelling.

“old man’s coming around, too.” gajeel stops for a moment and lifts his hand, watching water drip from the cracks between his fingers. under the clear lake water, even his scars don’t look that ugly. “i think he’s gonna need some more time before he’s ready for it — half the time he doesn’t look all that stable, really — but maybe in a couple months?”

the silence stretches for a couple long moments. gajeel sighs, then walks further into the deep, until the water comes up to his chest. 

“he talks about you, sometimes, when he thinks i’m not listening.” the smile that lifts the corner of his mouth is a sad one. “he misses you a lot, you know?”

once again, there is no response. but, if he closes his eyes, it feels almost as if the lake is trying to embrace him. gajeel slides into that embrace, seeking a warmth that doesn’t exist, his hands grasping into nothing.

“i miss you a lot, too,” he whispers, his voice breaking into a kind of almost childish desperation. “but i’m sure you know that, too, don’t you? you always know that kinda stuff.”

the wind blows by again, bringing the sound of a soft laughter. if he looks just right, he can see a familiar silhouette in the sun-lit lake, smile-lines crinkling around her eyes.

“make sure to watch over him, alright, ma?" his eyes water and he laughs. "and me too, i guess. can't promise i’m gonna make you proud, but i'm sure it'd be one hell of a show to watch.”

you’ve already made me prouder than i can ever be, the wind whispers in his ears, gently brushing his loose hair from his face. 

gajeel stands in the cold lake until the sun dips into the horizon, then sets out, wiping tears from his face.