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Cardan woke to the soft sounds of whimpers and sniffles. Raking his fingers through his dark curls, yawning silently, careful to not disturb his queen. Blinking his sleepy eyes awake, the High King of Elfhame watched his wife as she sat up in bed, belly swelled with child. Her back hunched over and shoulders slumped down. He listened to her trying to keep her breaths steady and calm. An attempt to relax herself, he assumed. Cracks of light seeped through the window, shining down on her in the darkened room, giving off a shimmer to her bronzed skin. He watched the lights illuminate her long chestnut tresses that fell in soft waves along her back. She looked more ethereal than mortal this way.
When faeries were pregnant, they never carried the symptoms Jude did. Pregnant mortals were a strange experience. Jude went through various eating habits and sicknesses. Her feet, if on them for too long, swelled. Just not in the same as her belly. Then there were emotions. Daily, Jude went through waves of happiness, anger, and sadness. Sometimes over the tiniest things, like when Cardan moved her family sword, Nightfell. She became angry with him, sleeping in another room. Only for Cardan to wake from his slumber and find his wife nestled up to him. Or when she did the most un Jude thing possible. The thing she’s doing now instead of resting. Crying.
There were times she would cry and over the oddest moments. Not being able to reach her cup of cream she craved nightly, when she finished a bowl of figs, and sometimes like now for seemingly no reason at all. Those were the times the High King of Elfhame felt lost in what to do for his darling Queen. Out of reach? Simple, he gets it for her. Finished figs? He calls for more. Random tears from a fierce woman next to him? Solving the issue was always touch and go. Cardan tried asking Taryn for help. If Jude had ever felt despair like this in her youth. She knew very little. As Taryn only confirmed what he already knew. Back then, Jude did the same as Cardan. Keeping a sealed lid over her emotions and feelings. For the most part, Jude still did. Except for her husband seeing through her and this growing child making her more human than she’d like. The only advice Taryn offered was to letter their older sister, Vivi. And so he did.
Luckily for him, Vivi had an idea. This was the first time he would attempt to use it. By now, he knew she would end up one of two ways. One, she would cry harder than now maybe even be angry at him. Why? He didn’t know. Given Jude’s behavior as of late, it was entirely possible. Or two, it would work and soothe her. Hopefully back to sleep. Sitting up in bed with spider silk sheets twisting around him, he scooted over to his quietly tearing warrior queen. Cardan pulled Jude into his loving embrace. She sat comfortably in between his legs as his tail moved around them, settling atop her belly. He could feel the small kicks from their baby against his tail. Running his fingers along the expanse of her arms, Cardan heard sighs of contentment as Jude relaxed to his comforting touch. Jude took one of his hands, interlacing it with her own and placing it over their growing child. Cardan closed his eyes as Jude nuzzled into his bare chest, resting his head over hers.
Jude listened to the soft thrums of his heartbeats. Feeling the way he gently swayed her while he hummed a soft tune. She hated this. Not the comfort of being in her husband’s arms, but simply being vulnerable and needy. Happy that she was in continuing his line and bearing them a child. Jude fully despised everything else. How Taryn managed while carrying Eva she couldn’t understand. Then again, Taryn was always more in tune to a feminine and motherly nature than herself. Still. If Jude never became pregnant again she wouldn’t miss it. The morning sickness, tears, feelings, and exhaustion were becoming too much. They still had another three months to go.
No longer was she allowed to carry any weapons. They only slowed her waddle down, and after the one time where she almost tripped with a dagger at her hip, Cardan forbade it. They argued over it for a good while and she left to her old room from her Seneschal days. Until he sent Tatterfell up to her with tea and three bowls full of figs. Not that Jude didn’t understand why he was concerned. The mere fact of being weaponless after so many years did little to quell her anxiety. Out of love for Cardan and their unborn child, she gave in to his request.
Then there were times, like now, where she cried for no apparent reason. Sometimes, if he tried to comfort her, Jude’s anger flared. Other times she craved his comfort and if he didn’t react quickly enough, Jude cried harder or again her temper flared. This was horrendous. Jude always kept a tight lid on her emotions and having them out and so sporadically was like stripping her nude for the realm to see. At least there was Cardan. He hardly complained about the tribulations of her pregnancy. When the rare moment striked, and he did, her look cut like a blade. Even in those moments deep down she knew he would be there. Much like right now.
Sitting there in between his arms, wrapped in his warmth and love, the ridiculous tears that she shed began to slow. Jude listened to the hmmm hm hmmm hm hm hm. Her mind carried her away to a song and a time long forgotten. Yet, she knew the lyrics by heart and softly sang along to his hums.
“Take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her into your heart.” She watched his fingers trail down and meet her other hand. Sliding between her fingers and giving them a light squeeze.
To her surprise, Cardan joined in her singing, “Then you can start to make it better,” The song formed a recognition in her mind. It was a mortal song. How did he know? Jude ran the lyrics over and over in her head as he pressed on, “Hey Jude, don’t be afraid. You were made to go out and get her,” She turned in his embrace, her amber eyes still puffy from tears, glimmered with curiosity and amazement. His eyes were dangerously soft. Like the midnight sky reflecting on calming waves. He reached up, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, “The minute you let her under your skin. Then you begin to make it better.”
Her expression turned unreadable for a moment the High King believed he screwed up bad. He was waiting for her to shove him off the bed. To shout at him. Something. Jude only sat in his arms watching him til she extended a hand up to his jaw running a thumb over his cheek pulling him for a sweet kiss. He smirked into her mouth, knowing the risk won. The baby turned and kicked at their hands and his tail still on her stomach. It seemed their unborn child enjoyed the song as much as its mother.
“Where did you learn that? That’s a mortal song.”
“Vee. I looked for other ways whenever you cry,” her face quickly turned from adoration to sternness. They both knew she cried and Jude loathed it when he spoke it out aloud, “You know I can’t lie, wife. You cry, and it’s normal for humans to cry with child sometimes. Would you like to know how I learned it?”
“Yes. I don’t like crying and feeling-“
“Vulnerable. Yes, I know. I asked Vee if you were gravely upset at Madoc’s was there something to help,” he paused, “She wrote back saying no, but before Elfhame your parents would sing this song to you. It helped you sleep. It was your father’s favorite and why you were named Jude.”
Leaning back he reached around to the bedside table pulling a drawer open and giving Jude a round item. Taking the odd circular contraption in her hands, Jude examined it. On the cover in black displayed the words, SONY WALKMAN COMPACT DISK. It was all silver with a few buttons displayed on the front, tiny words below each button. Play, stop, skip, pause, forward, backward and open. Connecting to the object was a thin black line attached to a headband of sorts. At least that’s what she assumed. On the ends of the band laid a soft material Jude didn’t understand what it was for.
“Cardan what is this?” Jude held a vague memory towards the item within her hands. The small buttons made her think of days long past. It was distant and felt like it belonged to another person entirely. Scarcely she pictured a younger Vivi lounging on the couch with a similar band that she wore over her head and ears. Envisioning her sister bopping to a song.
“Mortal magic,” Jude gave him a fixed look. Mortals have no magic, they knew that. Cardan seemed fascinated by it, so Jude simply smiled and let him continue, “It plays ballads. You put the crown on your ears, and the music plays. Watch.”
He took the band, placing it over her head, the soft material sitting over her ears. His thumb traced over the play button, pressing it down. Jude listened to the Beatles singing the exact song they were moments ago. Once again, thanks to her state, she was overcome with emotion. Jude couldn’t recall specific images with this particular song, yet the feelings of the past lingered, and that was enough. When she closed her eyes, the High Queen of Elfhame could imagine being rocked back and forth with a parent’s love surrounding her. She could almost feel the gentle motherly stroke in her hair. Opening her eyes she removed the headpiece setting it on their sheets.
“I’ve listened to it on repeat. Memorizing the song before I tested it,” at his confession. Her heart swelled. Knowing Cardan went the length he did for her, Jude’s lip quivered as her eyes brimmed with tears. She didn’t want to cry. Again. Jude bit down on her lip, focusing on the sheets, the wall, anywhere that wasn’t Cardan. If she looked into his coal colored eyes and inky tufts of sleep riddled curls, she would break.
Cardan took the music player, placing it back where he took it. Jude made the mistake of meeting his tired gaze. Before her tears fell, he quickly pulled her in his arms, fingers running up and down her back in soothing circles. Leaning into his touch, Jude wrapped her arms around him, hands splayed out on his back. Nestling herself into his chest, she let out a shuddering breath. Carding his fingers through her long locks, he softly hummed again.
“Thank you,” she murmured, “If you tell anyone about this-”
“You’ll kill me,” he mused.
“I knew I loved you for a reason.”
“Forgive me, but If I recall your reasons of loving me they were funny and clever,” he paused, smiling, thinking back to the first time words of love left her lip, “Handsome and delicious were also mentioned.”
Jude gazed up at him, “And I do,” she yawned out, “I can add on more reasons, “ she yawned again.
“You should rest. When you wake, I’d like to hear all these other reasons you love me, “ Cardan moved away, pulling back the sheets.
“Only if you sing me to sleep.” Exhaustion taking over, Jude slipped underneath them, laying into the plush pillows and mattress.
“Will you be requesting a lullaby every night my queen?” He questioned, snuggling up beside her. His hands resting on her belly, feeling tiny sensations of movement underneath them.
“My darling husband,” Jude let out another yawn, completely ignoring his question. Through a sleep laced tone, her voice barely above a whisper, she confessed, “I find new ways to love you every day.”
With that, he heard her soft snores and knew she had fallen asleep. He hummed the melody anyway, and shortly after his slow slumber induced breaths matched her own.