Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Many people consider Gotham to be insane, and they would be right. They had a crazy clown and his girlfriend playing King and Queen, merrily chopping off heads. A mob boss that waddled, a man that made others hallucinate their greatest fears while dressed as a scarecrow. However, at least in Gotham the villains were villains. They broke the law, they went to jail. Now Central City was truly mind boggling.

Batman figured this out the hard way. By walking into his bat cave to find a man with a futuristic gun in hand.

“Mr. Wayne, pleasure to meet you. Sorry to drop in unannounced. Figured a talk is long overdue.”

Bruce froze, hand hovering over the batarang that he’d snuck into his suit pocket (don’t tell Alfred) but he didn’t do anything. It took him a moment to place the man but when he did, it did nothing to set him at ease.

“Mr. Snart, what brings you to Gotham?” Bruce asked, as though there wasn’t a super villain standing in his supposedly secret vigilante base.

“I have a bone to pick with a bat.”

Bruce feigned nonchalance and walked down the stairs at a steady pace.

“Well, have at it, and remind me to talk to the Flash about keeping his villains in check.”

“Ah yes, the Scarlet Speedster.” He drawled, obviously having arrived at the desired topic. “Last month the little hero disappeared for a couple days and returned a little worse for wear.”

Bruce frowned, eyeing the other man in confusion.

“I’m sure you are aware of the issues with Steppenwolf and-“

“Yes, yes, I’m well aware of your little Justice League. What I’m more concerned about is that Barry almost went into hypoglycaemic shock in the middle of a routine heist that night.”

“What is it that you want, Mr. Snart?”

“Well it’s quite simple Mr. Wayne. Either you take better care of our speedster or he won’t be part of your little Justice League, and you’ll have the Rogues to deal with. We’re rather protective of what’s ours.”

Bruce could feel a headache coming on.

“So you’re saying that Captain Cold broke into my base to give me a shovel talk about the Flash?”

Cold smirked and started walking over to one of the large dark computer screens.

“Glad to know we’re on the same page bats. See you around.”

Then he stepped through the screen, presumably one of Mirror Master’s tricks.

Sitting alone in the cave, Batman took a moment the rub his temples to ward of his growing migraine.

“What the hell is going on in Central City?”

Chapter Text

When Barry didn’t answer his phone, Bruce went to visit the speedster in person, Captain Cold’s warning (and really, what the hell) fresh in his mind despite the months that had passed since the incident. He did not expect to find Barry napping in his second favourite chair while Mick Rory puttered in his kitchen.

“Hope you like fajitas, rice, and salad Bats.” The pyromaniac said without even turning from the stove.

Bruce glanced back at the speedster.

“Red’s fine, jus’ had a long day. One of them CSIs he works with is an asshole an’ Trickster Sr. broke out’a Iron Heights las’ night so Trickster Jr. went a little nuts.”

“He had to handle both Tricksters?”

“Nah, we calmed Jr. down and stayed with ‘im, Jesse ain’t the bes’ old man. None of us like ‘im.“

Both were silent for a moment as Gotham’s vigilante observed Central City’s resident pyromaniac.

“Fajita’s are fine.”

The large man grunted as he turned to the cupboard to gather some spices.

Tentatively, Bruce sat on one of the bar stools. The wharehouse looked better than the last time he'd been there. More like a home than a high-tech clubhouse.

"Kid never eats good 'less there's somethin' already there."

"Can't say I'm not the same." Bruce said, still stiff in his chair.

Honestly, what is happening in central. Nobody likes one of the villains while the rest are actively takes care of the hero? What's the deciding factor? Why couldn't the bad guys just be evil? That made sense. It was a wonder Barry didn't have daily headaches 'cause even thinking on it briefly was sparking one for Batman.

The strange duo were silent for another stretch of time where one sat still as a gargoyle, observing the super villain, and the other bustled around the small kitchen, throwing in spices here and there and stirring or chopping several different things at any given moment.

"Do me a favour, wake red." The rough voice broke the relative silence.

Bruce blinked and nodded, getting off the stool and walking over to chair where the younger man slept.

"Barry, wake up. There's food."

The speedster frowned, grumbling slightly as he shifted, his already messy hair, sticking up at odd angles, and his face scrunching in protest.

"Come on Barry, I'm not sure how comfortable I am with sharing a meal with Heatwave on my own."

Barry shot up suddenly, eyes still a bit bleary with sleep but full of light, as usual.

"Mick is cooking?!"

"Yeah Red," the pyro called from the stove. "Told ya I'd cook some fajitas right 'fore you passed out."

Barry blushed, walking over to the small table he usually ate at. The young man became a blur as he moved the old laptops and test tubes off the piece of furniture.

"So, what's up Bruce?"

The billionaire had to take a moment to adjust to the fact that not only had he been threatened by Captain Cold, but apparently Mick Rory, a man with a reputation of anger issues and insanity, was a regular visitor to the hero of Central City.

"Uhh, I was checking in. Diana wanted to know if you'd be joining the rest of the team for drinks after the opening of the Hall of Justice and you didn't pick up your phone."

Bruce dutifully ignored the snort as Rory set the food on the table.

"You came all the way from Gotham because I didn't answer my phone?"

"Any calls in the last five hours at least. And I have a private jet."

The scarlet speedster flushed bright as his namesake.

"You know, Lenny and I were thinkin' 'bout takin' a vacation to Gotham."

"Mick, no. Please don't."

"If I may, I'm not sure I'm alright with having you in my city Mr. Rory."

"We wouldn't steal nothin', jus' haven't been 'n a while. Harley helped Len with 'is LLI and helped me a bit with my fire. Long as the clown ain' there, should be fine." He said with a shrug.

Bruce would deny it to his dying breath, but his brain kind of broke. He stayed silent as he finished his food (which was delicious) and made to leave.

Barry got called out on a crime scene, leaving Rory to see Gotham's vigilante out.

"Lenny's the one tha's good with words, but if anythin' happens to Red under your watch, I'll set you on fire."

Bruce stared at the bulky man and nodded. Walking away, he fought to keep the confusion off his face.

<><><>

"So, how's your speedy pal?"

"Heatwave made us dinner." Bruce said, voice impassive as he flopped down on his king sized bed.

It was a very human gesture that he'd deny to the end of his days.

"When are you gonna learn that 'villain' isn't always bad?"

He turned his head to raise an eyebrow at the woman.

Selena smiled at him as she sat on the bed to take off her high heel boots.

"Well I'm a villain, aren't I? Got a fancy name and everything."

Bruce sighed heavily.

"It's not the same."

"How is it not the same?"

"I've known you since before Batman, it's not like I just decided to take you home one night after a heist."

"Mmm, you kinda did."

"Ugh, can we just, stop talking about this? It's giving me a migraine."

Catwoman laughed and patted the man on the shoulder.

"Sure thing."

As she got up and walked to the closet to get changed, they were quiet.

Bruce rolled over.

"But really, why the hell are his villains making him dinner?!"

Chapter Text

When he offered Barry a room in the manor while the speedster recovered from a mission, he did not expect to find the Mardon brothers sitting on either side of the younger man, playing video games. The three men didn’t even notice him, too busy trying to beat each other at mariokart.

“Oh you’ve got to be kidding me!” Barry cried as his kart went off the edge of the track.

“Join the club Bear.” Clyde Mardon pouted.

“Yeah, I’ve been kicking Clyde’s ass for years. I am the king of Mario Kart!” Mark yelled enthusiastically as he passed the speedster.

Only to get hit with lightning.

"I'm sorry, what do you call yourself? Weather Wizard?" Barry taunted.

Mark growled and hunched further over his controller, leaning side to side with the movement of his character.

Barry cheered as he passed the finish line.

"Whoo! Fastest man alive! In life and Mario Kart! Suck it!"

Clyde fell back onto a pile of pillows with a groan.

"Oh come on, he's gonna be insufferable to be around now!"

Mark fought a grin as he watched the injured Speedster do a little victory dance in his bed.

"Yeah, yeah," the younger Mardon said, selecting the next course a little violently. "I demand a rematch. You must've used your science stuffs to hack the game."

"Uh, I focus mostly on chem and physics." Barry pointed out with a cheeky grin.

"We get it Bear, you're smart. I'm still gonna crush you this time. Mark, you in for another round?"

"Maybe the next one, I think I'm gonna grab some food for my little brothers."

The villain slipped off the bed, avoiding a pillow on his way to the door with a taunting laugh.

The oldest of the odd trio shoved Bruce back so he'd have space to get through the doorway and closed the door quickly behind him.

"What the hell happened on that stupid mission?"

Bruce kept his face blank to hide his shock. He probably shouldn't be so surprised at this point but he can't help it. First Captain Cold, then Heatwave, why not the Mardon brothers? The Bat's lack of response wasn't too obvious due to the fact that Weather Wizard didn't leave much time to speak.

"I mean, we all know the Flash is insanely clumsy but apparently your little superhero club doesn't know that."

"The Flash is perfectly capable of being out in the field, otherwise he wouldn't have been offered a position when forming the Justice League."

"I don't care what you think," the thief snarled quietly, so as not to disturb the two younger men who they could hear bickering through the door. "You guys don't know Barry. With us, we can control how bad the damage is and help when absolutely necessary. If you're going against real jackasses, you'd better give him some extra training 'cause if he comes home in a body bag, you're ending up in one too, got it?"

Bruce scowled but made the tiniest head movement to indicate his agreement with the conditions.

With that, Mark Mardon set off down the hall towards the kitchen leaving the billionaire to question what his life was at that point.

Later that night, Barry was mostly healed, only a bit sore. When Poison Ivy attacked a construction site the speedster insisted on helping out. Barry looked like an excited puppy and Bruce found that he couldn't say no. What he refused to allow, was the company of the weather metas.

"Ivy shouldn't be too much trouble. I could handle her just fine on my own, with the Flash it will be easy." Bruce said, voice modulator already activated.

The brothers grudgingly agreed, Selena dragging them to the kitchen to steal themselves some food.

"Don't worry," the sly woman drawled. "I'll keep an eye on them."

Bruce honestly didn't know who he was more worried about, the two men or Catwoman.

When the two superheroes arrived at the construction site, Poison Ivy had already done a fair amount of damage. Vines were sticking out of the ground all over the place and Barry nearly tripped (again) as he made his entrance.

Pamela Isley, spun to face them with a smile on her face that dropped when she saw the red suited man.

"Oh no way I'm doin' this." The red-head said, throwing her hands in the air, the plants stopping in their tracks.

"What?"

"The Flash is under the protection of the Rogues over in Central City. Those people are nuts."

"Hey, they aren't crazy! They just... have grey... morals..." Barry trailed off, his face flushing as he realized that his argument wasn't that great. At all.

"Yeah honey, they're crazy. And that's coming from a Gothamite baby face."

Barry sputtered and Bruce had to stop himself from massaging his temples. Pamela smirked and started leaving.

"Wait, where are you going? Where is she going?"

"See you 'round Batsy!" She called over her shoulder.

"Come on Flash, let's go."

"Bu-"

Bruce withheld a sigh and led Barry to the Batmobile to head back to the manor.

One of these days, he'd get used to the speedster's Rogues.

He hoped.

Chapter Text

The Flash hadn’t shown up for the meeting. Barry had always been quite enthusiastic about the League, mainly because he wasn't very sociable outside of his superhero persona, so it was strange for him to be absent.

Bruce decided to go check on the kid, if something was wrong he didn't want the Central Super villains coming after him.

He stopped by the Batcave before heading to Central, activating the speedster's tracker so as to find the younger man quicker. It led him, not to Barry's usual warehouse home setup, but some empty, overgrown fields just outside of Keystone. As he approached he saw several explosions go off and sped up a bit more.

"Check this one out Red!" A bright voice called as Bruce got out of his car. It was quickly followed by a firework going off.

"Oh my god, that was amazing! But just you wait, there's this one trick that I figured out in middle school. It set my foster family's garage on fire but it should be fine out here."

Bruce looked back at his car, seriously debating whether or not he should just turn back now. After his previous encounters with the Central City Rogues, it was very tempting. With a sigh, he continued on foot towards the bright flashes of light.

"Oh, we should definitely show that one to Mick."

"As a superhero, I feel like like I should not condone anything of the sort."

"Alright, I'll show him. What else you got, Speedy Gonzales?"

Bruce watched the two young men crouched next to a collection of chemicals and fireworks.

"Do I want to know?" Bruce called blandly.

The scientist shot up to his feet.

"Bruce!"

The younger man nearly tripped over his companion, who had frozen in place.

"Holy shit. Why didn't you tell me you had rich buds, Red?"

Barry gaped, eyes flicking between the Bat and the Trickster.

"What are you doing here?" he asked faintly, shifting to better hide the mass amounts of chemicals.

"You never showed up to the meeting today."

"That was today! Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I must've lost track of time and-"

"Hey," Axel cut in, "it's not your fault, I'm quite persuasive."

If by 'persuasive' he meant 'distracting', then Bruce couldn't fault the young criminal. Trickster Jr was in a violent green jacket today with neon pink, orange, and blue patches.

"We aren't mad at you, Barry. We were just worried. At the end of the meeting I... was nominated... to check up on you."

Barry's look of guilt slowly shifted to make way for a wide smile.

"Hold on, are you saying you care about me, B?"

"I never said that."

"I'm pretty sure you did," Barry teased.

"Can we get back to the fact that you've been playing with explosives with one of your Rogues?"

"We weren't playing with explosives!" Barry denied, "We were just... testing?"

"Uh huh, testing what?"

"... explosives."

"With whom?"

"... my good friend, Axel?"

Bruce put a lot of effort into not rolling his eyes. There was definitely a pattern appearing here. Barry was shuffling awkwardly in place, and Axel was making a smoke bomb. The Trickster thought he was being subtle. He really wasn't.

"Alright, just- next time you're going to miss a meeting, let someone know."

"Yes sir! I mean- yeah Bruce. I- yep, I'll do my best."

Gotham's Dark Knight turned on his heel and returned to his car. Once inside, he took a moment to lament his moral standards. What he should've done was arrest the Trickster, and dragged Barry home for a lecture.

"Jesus, I sound like a dad," Bruce sighed before starting the car and driving away.

Selina was hanging off of Alfred's shoulder as she giggled her head off.

"That-! That's adorable! They w-were having a pl-playdate!"

Even Alfred was looking amused.

"I should have arrested Axel."

"You wouldn't have done that," Selina smiled like the cat that got the canary. "It would've interrupted your kid's playdate."

She threw her head back, laughing at her own joke, and one look said Alfred would not back him up.

Bruce was getting tired of Barry's villains.

And Selina's lack of empathy.