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The first time that Xiao Zhan kisses Yibo, they're both still dressed in the long robes and extensive wigs of Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji. It's not smart, and it's not safe, but in retrospect, Xiao Zhan thinks it's as smart and as safe as it could possibly have been under the circumstances.
He trusts that it was, because Yibo is always thinking of stuff like that.
Xiao Zhan isn't sure what it was that flipped the switch from their normal, safe flirting - flirting that they've been doing all through the filming, such rampant flirting that no one takes it seriously, because there's no way it can be serious, they're doing it all the time.
They've wrapped for the day, and it's been yet another hot one, stifling. Xiao Zhan is unfathomably sweaty under the thick robes and belts and wrist wraps - he's been melting all day, and the portable fans are not even remotely up to the challenge. He's desperate to get out of costume, striding as quickly as he can to the blessedly air-conditioned make-shift meal room for the actors. Yibo darts in the door behind him, giggling at his misery.
"Stop laughing, didi, I'm dying of heat prostration. Have some sympathy." Sweat is continually dripping down Xiao Zhan's back and he needs to lose the costume, like, now. He gets the belt undone and wrenches the outer robe open, moaning in relief. He feels like he can catch his breath for the first time all day. His inner robes are soaked with sweat - sticking against his skin, so gross.
Yibo's grinning even bigger. "You're going to get in trouble. Weici from Costume is going to kill you if you mess up the robes."
Even Yibo had been too hot today, his usually perfect face still a little shiny with sweat. He starts poking at Xiao Zhan's many layers. "They're all wet - you really did sweat today, Zhan-ge."
Xiao Zhan tries to swat him away, but he's laughing, and Yibo is giggling too. They're both so wiped out - the long days of filming, the traveling to do appearances and other shows, the heat, the heat, always the heat. Xiao Zhan can't keep it together, not with Yibo grinning up at him like that, laughing that ridiculous laugh. He finally manages to catch his breath. Yibo is still smiling, and his fingertips are resting on Xiao Zhan's waist where he'd been in the middle of poking at the many layers of robes. The whole moment seems poised, like everything slows down around them. Yibo's face is tilted up and his mouth is a little bit open. He's so, so pretty.
Without even really thinking about it, Xiao Zhan sways forward, and kisses him.
Yibo leans into it immediately. A rush of heat runs through Xiao Zhan, even under the blast of the air conditioner. It's just their lips pressing together and Yibo's hand curving around his waist - but his breath is gone again in an instant.
It's quick, and it's Yibo who steps away, his face distracted, serious, as he peers towards the door. "Someone's coming."
He glances quickly at Xiao Zhan, his eyes bright, before darting away. He pauses and gives Xiao Zhan a stupid wave as he heads out the door.
The stupid wave makes Xiao Zhan hot all over, and he's sweating again. What the fuck did he do that for? What the fuck are they going to do now?
***
Xiao Zhan is in the backseat of the van, staring down at his phone but not actually doing anything with it. He's extremely tired and extremely wide awake at the same time. He and Yibo have to be ferried back to the hotel in separate cars, to help deal with the crowds of Yibo's fans. Tonight he's grateful for that space, because he can't stop thinking of the kiss. He's still ruminating on it - wondering what it was that changed, what made Yibo take that one tiny step over the line, what made Xiao Zhan himself absolutely leap over that line - when his phone buzzes in his hand, startling him so much that he jumps and drops it into the footwell.
The security guy next to him glances up and Xiao Zhan makes a sheepish face and quickly scoops up the phone.
It's a text from Yibo. should've braced myself for this
Xiao Zhan has his fingers poised to respond but his brain isn't quite processing at the speed he needs.
There's three dots for a few seconds and then fans still camped out, pretty intense
Ah. That makes sense. They've been at the same hotel for three nights running, and the fans scoped it out two days ago. Security staggers Xiao Zhan and Yibo's arrivals, so they can provide enough back-up to get Yibo onto the property first. They've completely given up on the lobby and have taken to bringing them through the back entrance, but there really are only so many ways in, and the fans aren't stupid.
Xiao Zhan takes a breath, types out, you get through okay?
Yibo sends him a thumbs-up emoji, and then a squinchy-exhausted face emoji. So yeah, but it wasn't fun.
The car pulls to a swift stop in the dimly-lit back parking lot of the hotel just then. Xiao Zhan doesn't even get a chance to take a breath before he's hustled out.
***
you recover from being mr popularity?
He waits until he's safely ensconced in his room before texting Yibo back. The elevator felt too exposed, even though it was just him with security and crew. He's so tired that even that small cadre feels like they're bruising him just by being close by. All he could do on the elevator was lean his head back against the wall and shut his eyes against the harsh overhead lighting.
The response from Yibo is immediate. shut the fuck up And then, you got in okay?
Xiao Zhan sends back six squinchy-exhausted face emojis in a row.
He makes himself put his phone down. His head hurts. His back hurts. He needs to sleep. He's over-tired - even more over-tired than usual, if he lost his mind enough to give in to the impulse to kiss Yibo.
He thinks about it as he takes out his contacts, rubbing his eyes afterwards in relief. He hops in the shower to get rid of the sweat, but ends up staying in there for a while, letting the water run as hot as he can get it. He pushes the controls up inch by inch, letting it pound on the back of his neck as he tries to roll out the tension in his shoulders.
It helps, but not much.
He pulls on some soft black sweatpants and shrugs into a t-shirt. It all feels amazing after the heavy robes, pulled tight around him in so many fucking layers all day. All day? All evening - he glances at the clock and realizes it's almost eleven, and his wake-up call is in five hours.
He brushes his teeth, making faces in the mirror as he does so. Afterwards, he leans to look more closely at himself. He sighs - he feels like the dark circles under his eyes are getting darker. He rummages around in his kit, finds a tube of eye cream, and pats it on. It feels so good against his skin, he pulls out a tub of night moisturizer and rubs that on as well.
He feels somewhat better, even though he doesn't look any different in the hotel mirror. He makes another face at himself.
He kissed Yibo.
He shakes his head a little bit, like it's something he can somehow shake loose, but no. He kissed Yibo.
He feels a wave of heat run over him. This is why he hasn't allowed himself to think about how much he's wanted to kiss Yibo. His lips feel hot, and he touches them, still thinking about the kiss. It was like twenty seconds of his life, but after months and months of flirting - flirting he honestly didn't ever think would go anywhere, not really - it's just a lot.
His phone pings dully from where he left it on the bed in the other room.
He pauses, still looking at himself in the mirror, his fingers still pressed to his lips. Then he takes a deep breath. Stop being weird, he tells himself sternly.
His dark circles are definitely mocking him.
He makes himself go back to the bed and grab the phone. There is a whole thread of texts from Yibo.
Zhan-ge
Zhan-ge
Zhan-ge
did you pass out in the shower
do I need to come up there
Xiao Zhan grins, and flops back on the bed. He texts back I did not pass out in the shower He chews on his lip for a second before he follows up with and better not. what would the neighbors think
He makes himself press send, his face getting warm even though he's said things that were ten times more flirty to Yibo, and in front of cameras, too.
There are three dots almost immediately. don't worry, I can be quiet
Again, it's nothing, it's nothing compared to the flirting they do regularly, but it sends a vivid image through his head. Of Yibo on the bed here with him, arm slung across his mouth, biting back moans.
Why is his brain doing this to him?
Are they doing this? Is this what they're doing? He sends back that's not been my experience with you, Wang Yibo
There's a series of dots, and a long pause, and another series of dots. What's Yibo hesitating about? Xiao Zhan left him room to dial it back. A few seconds later, the text pops up. try me
The phone slips out of Xiao Zhan's suddenly extremely sweaty hands and lands on his chest. His mouth has dropped open and the images zooming through his brain are very, very intense, and very, very dirty. He's turned on so suddenly and startlingly that he can't feel his hands.
It takes him an embarrassingly long time to type back tempting
His face is very hot. He can't believe he did that.
Yibo's response is instant. good
Xiao Zhan is sweating so hard he might need another shower. His hands are a little shaky as he sends back a demon emoji and a pointy finger, which he hopes gets his point across.
Yibo sends back an angel emoji and a face with hearts for eyes. And then go to sleep, gege
Xiao Zhan watches the screen glow at him for a few seconds before he types back, you too with a sleepy-faced emoji.
He lets the phone drop after that, but he lies there in the dim hotel lighting for a long time before he's able to sleep.
***
Xiao Zhan hasn't been to his apartment in long enough that even now, after a day or so back, it doesn't quite feel like home. Jianguo has been with his parents back in Chongqing since before filming started, and it's definitely not fair to bring her back before filming is over, but he misses her terribly. It's not like she makes a lot of noise, but the apartment seems very quiet without the sound of her little paws padding around.
The break in filming is only a couple of days, but he's so used to the demands of the schedule that he's at loose ends. He's exhausted but can't seem to sleep for more than five hours at a stretch - he's trained his body too well to operate on too little sleep. He guesses it's good preparation - he's gonna be back on set before he knows it, and his manager seems to think things are going to ramp up from here after the show premieres. He can only hope it does as well as everyone thinks it will.
All he's done today is handle two calls from his agent, a last-minute rescheduled remote interview, and not a whole lot else. He'd ended up sitting on his couch doing mindless things on his phone, and when he looked up, the apartment had gotten dark around him without his even noticing.
He gets up, stretches. His eyes are scratchy, and he heads to the bathroom to take out his contacts, flipping on the lamp in the living room as he goes. He's just gotten them out and is squinting around for his glasses - he always forgets to look for them before he takes out the contacts - when his search is interrupted by the front door buzzer.
He doesn't get a lot of drop-in guests. He hesitates for a second before hitting the Talk button. "Yeah?"
"It's Yibo. Lemme up."
Xiao Zhan is pressing the Enter button before he really processes it. Is Yibo even on break at the same time he is? He honestly can't even remember - he'd thought Yibo was filming his own scenes while Xiao Zhan got a short break.
And Yibo doesn't live anywhere nearby. And even if he did, it can be a challenge for him to get around solo without being recognized. It's not as bad as it is when they're at airports or hotels, but it's still something he needs to be careful about, even with a mask.
Still, it's definitely Yibo on the other side of the door when Xiao Zhan opens it a few minutes later.
"Wang Yibo," he says, and it comes out the same easy teasing as always. He feels like he hasn't seen him in ages, even though it's only been days. And he feels like he hasn't seen him casual like this in a while, even though he does, most days, on set. Yibo is, in fact, wearing a mask, now dangling off of one ear. He's got on a black t-shirt paired with what Xiao Zhan knows are his favorite soft pants - they're not quite sweatpant material, but they're soft to the touch and roomy enough that he can slouch as much as he wants.
(Xiao Zhan has heard about the glory of the soft pants several times on set when they were both complaining about the costumes. Several times.)
"Xiao Zhan." Yibo imitates the tone. The look Yibo gives him is bright and happy and something inside Xiao Zhan loosens. It's not exactly that he thought it would be awkward - it's hard to imagine being awkward with Yibo. It's just that despite seeing Yibo throughout filming, of spending time in each other's space all day, every day, of the easiness between them - despite all that, he keeps getting thrust back to the moment of Yibo's soft, warm lips up against his own. It's visceral, and it happens when he's least expecting it. Xiao Zhan had honestly spent his last day on set before the break moving in circles around what had happened between them, determined not to do anything about it until he had time to process it.
But Yibo, in front of him, in his apartment, toeing off the almost ludicrously big sneakers he's wearing and padding into his house in sock feet - this is his Yibo. The real Yibo, the Yibo he knows. Not the somewhat intimidating thought of the Yibo he's been working through in his brain, after being away from him for a couple of days. Yibo is the least intimidating person he knows. All of the anxiety sort of melts away now that he's in the same room as him.
"How did you find my place?" he asks.
Yibo gives him an incredulous look. "You gave me your address," he says. "You gave me your address like three times and you said we should hang out."
That had been ages ago. That had been when even with so much filming left, Xiao Zhan had started getting anxious that they were going to lose the closeness they'd developed. "Right," he says, stupidly. "Right, I did do that."
Yibo's grin is big and dumb and everything loosens a little bit more in Xiao Zhan's chest. "C'mon, come in, I was just -" He blinks, and realizes he'd never found his glasses. He shakes his head, laughing at himself a little. "Hang on a second, come on in, I gotta go find my glasses."
"I thought you looked squinty." Yibo trails along behind him as Xiao Zhan heads to his bedroom. He's pretty sure the glasses have got to be there.
He finds them on his dresser, and slides them on. When he turns around, Yibo is right there. In his bedroom. With him.
"Hi," Xiao Zhan says. He feels like it comes out unsteady but Yibo doesn't seem to notice.
"Zhan-ge." Yibo's both serious and not. He's looking at Xiao Zhan like they've talked about this. Like they're on the same page. Like this had been the plan all along. Maybe this had been the plan all along? "Did I ever tell you that you look cute in your glasses?"
Yibo is very close to him and one side of his mouth pulls up in a smile as he puts his hand on the exact spot on Xiao Zhan's waist where he had the time they'd kissed. Like he's been thinking about that too. It's an almost staggering relief, and Xiao Zhan can't help but breathe out a laugh.
"What's funny?" Yibo's head is tilted to the side a little, his bangs falling in his eyes. He doesn't sound confused - he sounds like he wants in on the joke.
"You and me," Xiao Zhan says. "I feel stupid - I was thinking that we weren't on the same page."
Yibo's smile gets bigger, and he steps even closer. It feels like there isn't enough room for air in between them. It's Yibo who leans in and kisses him this time. It's Yibo who lets the hand resting on Xiao Zhan's waist curl around it tighter. Xiao Zhan thinks he whimpers a little. It's a sweet, soft kiss - the only place they're touching are their lips and where Yibo's hand is wrapped around Xiao Zhan's side.
It's enough at first - Xiao Zhan feels dizzy with how caught up in it he is. He's been thinking about that first kiss for so long now, chasing down the memory of it, going over the details of it. This feels like that, but more, more than that, because he's right here in it. He doesn't have to try to remember anymore; he can memorize it in the moment.
The thought sends a flash of heat through him and everything goes from just right to not nearly enough. He tilts his head and deepens the kiss. Yibo moans into his mouth, and his other hand wraps around Xiao Zhan's waist, as well, and fuck.
Xiao Zhan isn't even totally aware of the fact that he's propelling Yibo backwards, still kissing him, so much less gentle now. Yibo's gripping his waist and moving backwards gracefully, like he was made for this. The backs of his knees hit the bed and he sits down and pulls Xiao Zhan on top of him in one smooth move.
Xiao Zhan can't catch his breath. He's straddling Yibo's lap, his thighs up against him on either side. Yibo's running his hands up Xiao Zhan's back, urging him closer. They're still kissing; he can't stop kissing him. Now it's wet, and it's warm, and it's deep. It's not the simple kiss he's been daydreaming about for days. It's ramped up from that so quickly that Xiao Zhan's brain is still catching up.
His body is ten steps ahead of his brain. He's rocking forward against Yibo in a rhythm he can't seem to stop. He finally has to pull away to breathe. The second he does, Yibo's mouth is on his neck, and fuck, fuck, he was halfway there already, but now he's so fully hard he can't even think.
He didn't believe this is what they were doing, when they flirted on set. He didn't believe this was where it was leading. He was wrong. He was so, so wrong.
Yibo's mouth is hot, and he's making little needy noises. His hands are so tight around Xiao Zhan, and Xiao Zhan can't stop hitching his hips forward to the rhythm of Yibo's mouth sucking on his neck. "Yibo," he pants out. "Stop, stop, fuck."
Yibo's not stopping, but to be fair, Xiao Zhan isn't being very convincing. It feels so fucking good and his words are coming out wrecked. But he makes his hands move, tugs on Yibo's hair. Yibo pulls off his neck with a whine, and tilts his head to look up at him, his mouth open and wet and red.
"We're shooting in two days," Xiao Zhan manages to grate out.
Yibo, even in this state, gets it right away. Xiao Zhan can't show up on set with a hickey, not without everyone turning into his auntie. Yibo nods briskly, and immediately surges up to start kissing his mouth again.
It's Xiao Zhan who can't take the awkward angle anymore; it's Xiao Zhan who desperately, helplessly, needs more. It's Xiao Zhan who ends up urging Yibo to scoot further back on the bed, and somehow Yibo does even that gracefully, even though he can't keep his hands off of Xiao Zhan while he's scrambling backwards, dragging Xiao Zhan with him.
They're finally up with their heads by the pillows. Xiao Zhan manages to take his glasses off - they're foggy and smeared and he can't believe he's managed to keep them on this long - and thrusts them over onto the bedside table before rolling back on top of Yibo.
Yibo hisses out a breath as Xiao Zhan's thigh slides between his. Xiao Zhan pushes himself up, even as Yibo's hands are trying to drag him back down. "Is this okay? Is this - are you -" He's not even sure what he's asking, but just that he wants to be sure that they're together in this, that this is what Yibo wants.
The look Yibo gives him is so incredulous, and so hilarious, that Xiao Zhan dissolves into giggles. "Yes," Yibo says, with such intensity that Xiao Zhan is laughing even harder. "Yes, for fuck's sake, this is...okay." He lifts his hips up against Xiao Zhan, and oh - Yibo is hard too.
Xiao Zhan is still half-giggling even as he lets Yibo drag him back down into the kiss. Things ramp up quick and fast from there. The kissing is truly scorching, just this constant, wet heat. They're just rutting against each other at this point and the sounds Yibo is making into Xiao Zhan's mouth - it's going to kill Xiao Zhan, he's pretty sure.
Yibo is so hard and he's thrusting up against Xiao Zhan and it's so good, it's so much, it's so - fuck, he's so turned on, and he's - he's got to - he has to - He forces himself to roll off of Yibo, avoiding his grasping hands. It's too much. He's too close.
"What?" Yibo gasps out, still sprawled on the bed, so very hard in his favorite soft pants. "Why? Zhan-ge, come here, come here."
His face is beautiful, flushed very pink, and his hair is a wreck and he's spread open on Xiao Zhan's bed, and -
Xiao Zhan rolls over to press his hot face against the pillows, trying to breathe. Trying not to press his hips down. Trying not to come.
Yibo is still handsy, reaching out for him, his fingers seeking out skin, pressing up under Xiao Zhan's t-shirt where it's rucked up, sending an array of shivers down Xiao Zhan's spine. Xiao Zhan is already sweating like crazy - his shirt is sticking to his back and he can feel how damp his face is.
It takes an endless series of seconds before he can get his breath and brain together enough to ask the question that's been running through his head for this whole time. He tilts his head against the bed and looks up at Yibo. "Yibo," he says, and he's trying not to, but it seems absurd to assume something like this, so his voice comes out with all of the quiet bewilderment he's been harboring since the first kiss. "Have you done this with a boy before?"
Yibo's rolled himself up on one elbow. He shakes his head a little, a perplexed look on his face, like he's surprised Xiao Zhan doesn't already know the answer. "I haven't done this with anybody before."
He says it so matter-of-factly that Xiao Zhan's brain honestly cannot process it. "You never -" He stops, swallows. "Not, like, sex? Or not, like, anything?"
"Oh, I've kissed boys before." Again, with the totally practical, straightforward tone.
"You've kissed boys before." All Xiao Zhan can do is repeat it stupidly back to him.
Yibo nods impatiently, and tilts his head. "You've done this before," he says. He sounds impossibly turned on. "Do it with me. Show me - show me."
Xiao Zhan's hard dick is still pressing down against the bed and he drops his face back to the bed with a groan. Fuck, he feels like he could come just from hearing that. "I've done this with girls," he tells the bed grimly. "A few times."
"Wow." It's Yibo's surprised wow and when Xiao Zhan manages to tilt his head to peek up at him again, he looks blown away by the information. "I just always - I always thought - it seemed like -"
Like what? "Like what?" Xiao Zhan demands, pushing himself up on one elbow, and trying to ignore his hard-on.
"I don't know!" Yibo says. "Like you'd have had opportunities!"
Opportunities Yibo wouldn't have had. Yibo's been in the spotlight since he was fourteen years old. Has Yibo been thinking about doing it with boys since he was fourteen years old?
"Well, I haven't." Xiao Zhan thinks about it for a second. "I mean, okay, maybe opportunities but I haven't...done anything about it." His brain keeps shrieking at him, what boys has Yibo kissed? But of course Yibo has done nothing but associate with other boys for his entire life. It's stupid of Xiao Zhan not to have made that connection before now.
"Have you wanted to?" Yibo asks. He sounds curious. He's still looking fantastically fucked up, his hair rumpled everywhere yet still looking like it's somehow rumpled on purpose.
"Not...in general." It's a question Xiao Zhan has definitely been asking himself. "Not with just anyone." He looks at Yibo.
Yibo sucks in quick breath, his eyes going startlingly hot. "Not with anyone?" He pushes himself up, crawling closer, rolling Xiao Zhan over onto his back and climbing on top of him. "Just me?"
He kisses him, and it's gentle but intense. He's spread over Xiao Zhan, and Xiao Zhan is hopelessly into it. Xiao Zhan is still hard, despite the earnest conversation - his dick doesn't care about earnest conversations. His dick very much cares about Yibo's weight on top of Xiao Zhan, his hips moving restlessly.
Yibo pushes up on his elbows for a moment, which has the effect of creating even more friction against Xiao Zhan's dick, and the way he moans when it happens is seriously embarrassing. "It's the first time for both of us," Yibo says breathlessly.
He sounds both intimate and excited. He's biting the corner of his lip just a little and, fuck, Xiao Zhan's hopeless in the face of it. It is intimate. It is exciting. He wants it. He wants it so fucking much. He wants Yibo so fucking much.
All he can do is nod. Yibo's face lights up for a moment, then his expression turns determined, and he's sitting up, straddling Xiao Zhan as he pulls his t-shirt off.
Xiao Zhan has seen Yibo's abs before. He's seen them many times before - Yibo doesn't exactly waltz around shirtless on set but he also isn't always shrouded in layers of robes.
Also you couldn't live in this world without seeing his abs on television, and on billboards, and on the internet.
But now those abs are right there in front of him. Yibo's dick is pushing out against the front of his pants, and Yibo's weight is resting against Xiao Zhan's own hard dick. Xiao Zhan feels like he might be having an out of body experience.
Yibo sees him looking and he grins a big stupid grin. "Go ahead."
Xiao Zhan makes a face at him. "Shut up, I was just - listen, you're right there and you're -"
Yibo's not flexing, but Xiao Zhan's pretty sure that's because he doesn't have to flex - he just always has this sort of ab definition. Yibo is, however, smiling even wider, and then he's grinding down against Xiao Zhan and Xiao Zhan is thinking about more than Yibo's abs now.
"Fuck," he says, and grabs Yibo, dragging him down.
Everything kicks up several notches. Yibo's skin is hot under Xiao Zhan's hands, and he's in constant movement on top of Xiao Zhan. There are still so many layers between them, despite what feels like acres of Yibo's skin exposed to him. He feels like he's been hard for hours, but more importantly, the awareness that Yibo has never had a hand touch his dick other that his own is scorching Xiao Zhan's brain. He wants to be the first person to touch Yibo's dick. Fuck, he wants to be the first person to make Yibo come. The first person to get to see Yibo come.
"Hang on," he gasps against Yibo's mouth.
Yibo lifts his head, and nods frantically, but he's still moving his hips against Xiao Zhan, like he can't stop even if he tries.
"Hang on," Xiao Zhan says again, desperately. His heart is beating wildly and his brain isn't firing on all cylinders. He may be the first person to touch Yibo's dick, but Yibo's dick is, in and of itself, the first dick he's gonna touch other than his own.
And. It's Yibo's dick.
He thinks about just pulling it out of Yibo's pants, and having Yibo come all over him, but this is already so out of control. He thinks he wants it to be a little bit more than that. He wants to see it. In detail.
He rolls his hips up, and they both gasp. Yibo is giggling as Xiao Zhan tips him over onto his side. He's still reaching out, grasping Xiao Zhan's hip, grabbing at this shirt, dragging him in, kissing him.
"Wait, wait." Xiao Zhan is having a hard time putting words together. He takes a breath and pushes Yibo back with his hand flat against his chest.
Yibo whines.
Xiao Zhan gives him a look, tilting his head to the side. "Wait," he says again, softly.
Yibo nods frantically, sucking in a deep breath and clearly grasping at control that Xiao Zhan is pretty sure isn't much there.
Xiao Zhan feels like he's losing the thread of his own control as he takes a breath, and slides his hand down to cup Yibo's dick through his pants. Fuck, he's big. Fuck.
Yibo gasps, loudly, and his hips push forward. He's got his jaw set tight, and Xiao Zhan thinks he really needs to get on with this before Yibo comes in his pants.
He moves his hand to Yibo's hip to start nudging his pants down, but Yibo rolls onto his back, lifts his hips (still graceful, even here, even now), and shoves his pants and underwear down his thighs in one movement.
His dick is huge and he's so, so hard, and it may be the first dick that belongs to someone else that Xiao Zhan has ever had access to, but he wants it. He wants it so much.
He gets with the program and rolls onto his side, and wraps his hand around Yibo. He strokes him and it's a bit odd - the feel of it, the angle, the size. He just swallows and focuses and tries to do it like he does it to himself - sliding his thumb up under the head with each stroke, using the slickness from where it's leaking to smooth the motion.
"Fuck." Yibo's set jaw is doing nothing to keep him from thrusting up into Xiao Zhan's fist. It feels incredible to Xiao Zhan and if it feels even half as good to Yibo -
"Fuck," Yibo says again. Xiao Zhan is barely having to do any work here, because Yibo is pushing into his fist frenetically, and the noises he's making are absolutely pornographic. Xiao Zhan had made the mistake of not getting his own dick out first and his pants are nowhere as forgiving as Yibo's. His dick is pressing up against the painfully tight denim and he's aware of the fact that he's rutting up against Yibo's thigh as he jerks him off, but there is not one thing he can do about it.
He's leaning over Yibo, and he's loving the feel of his hand around his dick. It's big - bigger than his - and it's slick. He's leaking like crazy, and Xiao Zhan is so hot for that. Yibo is teetering on the edge, Xiao Zhan can tell, and it makes him feel like he's the one in charge. He's into that, too. "How are you holding on?" he whispers. Yibo is twenty-one - Xiao Zhan would have honestly expected him to have come by now, even though he's slowing his strokes, trying so hard to keep Yibo just right on that edge.
"Barely," Yibo says tightly. His hips are jerking up and he's got his eyes closed, his breath coming in short pants.
He's close. He's so close. Xiao Zhan can feel it in how he's holding himself, in how his dick is swelling in his hand. He tightens his hold, speeds his rhythm, and he can't keep his eyes off of Yibo's face. "Tell me," he says. Fuck, he wants to see this, wants to hear this. "Tell me, Yibo."
"Hnghh." Yibo's hands are grasping at the covers at his sides, and his head is thrown back, his throat shiny with sweat. "Gonna come. Gonna come, fuck, make me come..."
Xiao Zhan does, in the next second. Yibo's back arches off the bed, and his dick is jerking in Xiao Zhan's hand, and he's coming all over his own stomach. The noises he's making are loud, and dirty. Xiao Zhan is dazed with how turned on it's making him.
He strokes Yibo through it, until Yibo's sounds turn to soft panting. He turns his head to the side to look at Xiao Zhan. His mouth is open, wet and red, and his pupils are absolutely blown.
He is stunningly beautiful.
Yibo's eyes flicker down to where Xiao Zhan is pressing his dick up against his hip. They flicker back up to Xiao Zhan's face, and the next thing he knows, Yibo has shifted himself up and pushed Xiao Zhan over onto his back. He's kissing him fiercely as he goes for his pants, flipping the button open in one smooth move, and dragging the zipper down. "Now you," he says against Xiao Zhan's lips. "Now you."
Xiao Zhan whines into his mouth and he doesn't have time to be nervous before Yibo's hand - fuck, his giant hand - lands on his dick over his underwear. He barely has time to gasp from the feel of it before Yibo shakes his head, saying, "No, wait, hang on."
"What?" Xiao Zhan pants. What?
But Yibo's got a plan. Yibo, it seems, is on a mission. He sits up, shoving his pants and underwear the rest of the way down and off, getting rid of his socks almost as an afterthought. He levers himself to his knees next to Xiao Zhan. He tugs at both sides of Xiao Zhan's jeans, pulling them down his hips, then drags his underwear down too. They're only halfway down Xiao Zhan's thighs before Yibo loses patience, and straddles him.
All of Xiao Zhan's breath leaves him in a single gasp.
Yibo's watching him. "This is better," he says, and wraps his hand around Xiao Zhan's dick. The sound Xiao Zhan makes is truly embarrassing. His hips hitch up without his input, but Yibo's weight is pressing him down, hindering his movements in the best possible way. It's like he's the one who's never done anything like this before, like he's the one who's new to every part of this.
"Yeah," Yibo says, and he's got his whole focus on Xiao Zhan's dick, watching the movement of his own hand on it, concentrating.
Xiao Zhan feels like he could stroke out from how turned on he is. He's practically writhing on the bed under Yibo's hips, and he's been hard for what feels like eight hundred years. Yibo is stroking him steadily, perfectly, with extreme focus, his gaze now flickering between Xiao Zhan's dick and his face, like he's studying him. He's sliding his thumb up under the head of his dick with each stroke, just how - fuuuuck - just how Xiao Zhan likes it. Just how Xiao Zhan had done to him.
"You -" Xiao Zhan wants to tease him, he wants to, but he doesn't have enough brain cells left to form words. You pay attention is what he wants to say, but that is so far beyond an understatement.
He's not leaking as much as Yibo had but it's enough to make Yibo's hand slide as much as it needs to. Xiao Zhan's hands are on Yibo's naked thighs, hanging on. Yibo lets himself fall forward, bracing himself on one hand over Xiao Zhan as he jerks him off with the other. He's breathing as hard as Xiao Zhan is.
"Yibo," Xiao Zhan manages to gasp out.
"Zhan-ge," Yibo says, and twists his hand up Xiao Zhan's dick and that's it, that's it, he's coming so hard he's got fireworks going off behind his eyes, coming so hard he feels like he's shaking into pieces.
Yibo strokes him through it, pulling his hand off right at the moment before it becomes too much.
It takes Xiao Zhan a while to come back from the orgasm. He's vaguely aware of how he's sprawled on the bed, of Yibo still straddling him. He knows he has to blink his eyes open but it takes him a bit.
When he does, it's worth the effort. Yibo's still leaning over him, and he's hard again. Fuck, that was fast. He waits until Xiao Zhan's eyes are open before he pushes Xiao Zhan's t-shirt up more, biting the corner of his lip again as he looks down at Xiao Zhan. "Can I -'' He stops, swallows, and starts again. "I'm just - I want -"
Xiao Zhan is nodding, because fuck, Yibo can do anything to him he wants to do. Yibo's hips drop immediately and he's rocking his dick against Xiao Zhan's stomach, where it's spattered with come. Yibo's whining in his throat a little as he rocks his hips forward. It's uneven, like he's not totally in charge of his body anymore, and his dick feels so big and so good as he slides forward, again, and again.
Xiao Zhan has his hands on Yibo's hips, and then on his ass, urging him forward, mouthing at his throat, and he thinks he's saying, "Yes, yes, yes," but he can barely hear it through his heart beating so loudly in his ears.
"I'm going to -" Yibo says tightly, and then he drops his head against Xiao Zhan's shoulder and cries out, shooting fast and so fucking hot all over Xiao Zhan's hip.
It's so fast. Xiao Zhan can still feel the aftershocks of his own orgasm pulsing through him.
Yibo is draped flat on top of him, his head still buried against Xiao Zhan's shoulder. Xiao Zhan can feel Yibo's heart beating against his chest. He's still got one hand on Yibo's ass, the other one resting on his back, and he's blinking up at the ceiling, trying to bring his brain back online.
Yibo pushes himself up on his elbows, after a bit. "That was hot," he says. "Fuck, that was hot." He glances down between them - they're both a total mess.
"if we stay this way much longer, we're gonna end up stuck together," Xiao Zhan says.
Yibo bursts into giggles, his head dropping back to Xiao Zhan's shoulder, his breath warm on Xiao Zhan's skin. "Gross," he says, and rolls off.
Xiao Zhan debates pulling his pants back up versus taking them off altogether, but ends up shoving everything down and off, and then tugging his completely wrecked t-shirt off as well. He uses it to wipe off his stomach before he tosses it on the floor. When he looks up, Yibo is watching him, looking pleased and relaxed. He's naked and seems completely comfortable with it, propped up on one elbow, facing him.
"Was that -" Xiao Zhan's not sure how to end the sentence? Weird? What you wanted it to be?
Yibo just nods, like he'd somehow actually finished his thought. Another grin is spreading across his face, like he can't stop it, and he's actually blushing just a little bit, the color rising in his cheeks making him look ridiculously young. "It was -" He looks like he's thinking about it, and ends up just waving his hand around and saying, "Wow."
Xiao Zhan giggles - he's never laughed this much in bed with anyone. "Wow, huh?" he says, imitating Yibo's tone.
Yibo's grin gets wider, and he nods several times in a row, moving closer. "Wow," he says again, and he looks so pretty as he leans in, pauses very close to Xiao Zhan's face and ducks his head to kiss gently just below Xiao Zhan's lip.
It takes Xiao Zhan a second to realize he's kissing his beauty mark.
The kiss is soft and warm and Yibo pulls back, and then gently licks in the exact same spot before looking up at Xiao Zhan. He doesn't say anything but the look on his face is one of pure elation. Xiao Zhan gets the feeling that that was something he'd been thinking about doing for a long time. It feels, somehow, more intimate than anything they've done so far.
The room is dim around them - the warm glow from Xiao Zhan's small bedside lamp is the only light. Yibo is still very close beside him, his hand on Xiao Zhan's hip, his thumb sliding up and down softly, slowly.
"That was your first time," Xiao Zhan says, even though he obviously already knows that.
Yibo nods, that same sort of helpless, happy smile sliding across his face.
"Why now?" Xiao Zhan asks.
"I didn't want to wait anymore." Yibo says it very matter of factly.
"But - we're still - it's all still -" A very bad idea. A very stupid idea. "...complicated," Xiao Zhan finishes.
Yibo nods again, but he's making a little face, like Xiao Zhan's being silly. "We can do complicated."
They can? Maybe Yibo can. Xiao Zhan's not sure he's ready for this level of complicated. "How?" he says softly, and he's genuinely asking. This feels impossibly difficult, and dangerous, and - those are all things that Yibo likes. That Yibo is good at.
Yibo's serious now, and his thumb has stilled on Xiao Zhan's hip. His hand is now wrapped around him tightly, like he's trying to make his point with it. "We'll be careful," he says.
"We're careful now," Xiao Zhan responds. They are. They have to be. Cameras are always on, when Yibo's around.
"That makes it easier." Yibo nods like he's proud that Xiao Zhan is getting it. He's talking fast now, and seriously. "Everyone looks closely but they only see what they want to see. Xiao Zhan, the spotlight is only going to get more intense for you once this premieres."
"But," Xiao Zhan says. They don't even know if anyone's gonna watch this. It could just fizzle, it could just -
"If it's not this for you, it'll be something else," Yibo says intently. "But it's okay, it'll be okay. You can show them what you want, you can give them what you want, and -" Here he shrugs. "They see what they want to see, but we don't let them see what's real."
"What's real," Xiao Zhan repeats, feeling so, so out of his depth.
Yibo responds like it's a question. "You don't tell them your real thoughts always. You don't tell them your real feelings always. And you don't tell them about your real life. They don't get to have everything. They don't get to have that." He's still speaking rapidly and staring at Xiao Zhan intently, like he's willing him to understand this. "You have to be careful to not let them have that."
Xiao Zhan thinks that whatever this thing is with Yibo might end up being the least complicated part of the fame that is coming his way.
"I'm an honest person," he says. "That's going to make it hard."
"I know, Zhan-ge," Yibo says softly. "You're going to have to learn it."
Yibo started learning it when he was fourteen, Xiao Zhan thinks. Yibo's been practicing it for pretty much his whole life.
"Fuck," Xiao Zhan says.
"Yeah," Yibo responds. He watches Xiao Zhan in the dimness for a minute, then he slides his hand up Xiao Zhan's side, up his arm, all the way to his face. He cups his cheek in his huge, warm hand, then leans in and kisses him. Xiao Zhan lets himself get lost in it - it feels like the easiest thing he's done in a while. They kiss slowly, getting to know each other, no urgency, just the feel that it's the two of them cocooned in the safety of Xiao Zhan's bedroom, shutting everything else out.
Yibo kisses with his whole body - his hand moves up to tighten in Xiao Zhan's hair, his hips moving forward, hitching towards Xiao Zhan, slinging his leg over him after a while, his dick (hard again, hard again) rubbing against Xiao Zhan's hip. It's less urgent but no less hot, and when Yibo pulls back, it's Xiao Zhan who lurches forward, wanting more, needing more.
Yibo's breath is coming fast. "You're so long," he says, running his hand over Xiao Zhan's hip, and down his leg. "You're all leg."
"Shut up," Xiao Zhan pants out, and he knows he's blushing.
"Uh-uh," Yibo says, "I can't, it's too hot, c'mere." He urges Xiao Zhan closer, pulls his leg further over him, then moves his hand between them to wrap around his dick. Xiao Zhan hisses in a breath, and his hips thrust into it without a thought.
He expects Yibo to tease him about that, too, but Yibo doesn't. His eyes are bright and distracted, like he's got something new in mind. "Zhan-ge," he says, like it's a question.
"Anything," Xiao Zhan says immediately, and then flushes, his face going even hotter, because he doesn't mean that, of course he doesn't mean that, even though - he wants that. He wants Yibo to get anything he's ever wanted.
Yibo nods, and pushes Xiao Zhan onto his back. Xiao Zhan's pulse kicks up a notch. He's expecting Yibo's weight to land on top of him, expects Yibo to maybe jerk off on him. He thinks he would like that.
Instead, Yibo is sidling downwards, and like everything else, he makes it look smooth and easy. "Oh," Xiao Zhan says. "Oh, Yibo, you - you don't -"
"I want to try," Yibo says, and he sounds almost belligerent, and staunch. "I've been wanting to try it." He looks up at Xiao Zhan, his hand wrapping slowly around the base of Xiao Zhan's dick. "I've been wanting to try it with you."
Xiao Zhan's breath catches in his chest. He wants so badly to come all over Yibo's soft lips.
Yibo seems to see that in his eyes, because the grin he gives Xiao Zhan is absolutely filthy. Then he lowers his focus to Xiao Zhan's dick, so close to his face. Xiao Zhan reaches to shove a pillow behind his head, because he needs to see this, he needs to see this. The humor drops off Yibo's face and his eyes get focused and determined. He's still got his hand circled around the base of Xiao Zhan's dick as he licks up the length of it.
Xiao Zhan's hands flail around, looking for purchase. He ends up squeezing them against the covers. Yibo does it again, slowly, almost like he's mapping it, and again, this time swirling his tongue carefully over the head.
Xiao Zhan moans, and it comes out breathless and high-pitched.
Yibo's eyes flicker up to his for a second.
Then he swirls his tongue again.
Xiao Zhan gasps, holding his hips very, very firmly against the bed. He doesn't want to rush Yibo, or do anything to stop Yibo from exploring this situation.
Yibo studies him for a second longer before his eyes flutter shut and he takes Xiao Zhan into his mouth.
It's unstudied at first, a few moments of hesitation and adjustment and all of it feels fucking amazing, Yibo's hot mouth, soft around him, moving slowly as he he figures out his dimensions. Then the tempo changes. Yibo's hand tightens around the base of his dick, pumping it, a shallow rhythm. His mouth slides over Xiao Zhan's dick, and oh fuck, it's steady and it's slow - it's not too deep, but it doesn't have to be, not with Yibo somehow matching the slide with the swirl of his tongue.
Xiao Zhan thinks he might be babbling. He's not sure. He knows he's moaning. He can't even look down anymore - the image of Yibo's mouth stretched around his dick is too much, it's so dirty and perfect. He's sweating and his neck is stretched back - he's moaning up at the ceiling and his hands have crept into Yibo's hair. He doesn't want Yibo to feel forced, but he's just following the rhythm of Yibo's head on his dick, trying so hard not to thrust upwards, though his hips keep jerking up, just a little, totally out of his control.
Yibo doesn't seem to mind. Yibo - Yibo, who pays so much attention to every detail, even here, even now - has one huge hand pinning Xiao Zhan's hip against the mattress, so it's only possible to move upwards incrementally, because of course Yibo knows what he needs to do to keep Xiao Zhan from distracting him from his rhythm.
Xiao Zhan's throat hurts and now he knows he's babbling, gritting out words that are almost incoherent, and loud even in his own ears. "Yibo," he manages. "Yibo, fuck, your mouth, you're so - you're so -"
The rhythm Yibo has set is relentless, and Xiao Zhan loses himself in it. He's so into it, he's so fucking into it. Into Yibo holding him down, into Yibo's tongue sliding over his dick, he's so - he's going to - fuck. He tightens his hold on Yibo's hair hard, urging him up and off, panting out, "You have to - Yibo, fuck, come on, I'm -"
Yibo pulls off, but keeps his other hand pumping on the base of Xiao Zhan's dick, and Xiao Zhan is coming in the next second, his hips thrusting up, and up as Yibo jerks him off.
It takes what feels like a long time for him to come back to himself. He's blinking up at the blurry ceiling, his heart pounding in his chest. He's had blowjobs given to him before - not many times, but he has. Nothing he's ever in this lifetime experienced has come close to Yibo's mouth on his dick.
He realizes he still has his hand curled in Yibo's hair. He shifts his hips, loosening his grip. "You - that was - Yibo, you -" He clearly hasn't gotten all his brain cells back. He manages to lift himself up on his elbows, looking down to where Yibo is sprawled between his thighs. Yibo has his head resting on Xiao Zhan's hip, right next to Xiao Zhan's spent dick, and if it bothers him at all, he's sure not showing it. He is, in fact, running his fingers through the come on Xiao Zhan's stomach and looking at him with his eyes so bright that Xiao Zhan can't look away.
"Did I break you, Zhan-ge?" Yibo says, the corners of his mouth turning up in that perfect Yibo smile, devilish and so, so sweet.
"A little!" Xiao Zhan is smiling helplessly back. "C'mere," he says, trying to urge Yibo up. "C'mere, let me - I can -" He's realizing he left Yibo hanging and he's so ready to get his hand on him again.
Yibo scrunches up his nose a little, and rolls to the side instead. "No, it's -" He stops, and his face is honestly a picture of self-deprecating amusement. "I'm good," he finishes instead.
Xiao Zhan lifts his head further, sees that Yibo's dick is soft, and tilts his head further to see the unmistakable wet spot on his comforter.
He brings his gaze up to Yibo's, deliberately widening his eyes as his grin chases its way across his face. "Yibo," he breathes out. "You really like being good at things, don't you?" He barely gets the words out before he's giggling.
Yibo brings his hands up to his face, rolling over against the covers again as he starts giggling as well.
Xiao Zhan ends up pulling him up to kiss him, Yibo giving a yelp as his foot drags through the wet spot, which ends up derailing the kiss immediately, as the two of them laugh so hard they can't catch their breath.
Xiao Zhan finally manages to wipe the tears of laughter away from his face, and brings his mouth to Yibo's. They kiss, long and soft. He can taste himself in Yibo's mouth. It's blowing his mind. "Yibo," he says, and Yibo murmurs a soft sound of assent against his lips. "Yibo, you did like it?" His cheeks turn fiery hot as he asks the question, and it's so dumb, he knows, but he wants to hear it. "You did?"
Yibo pulls back from the kiss, lifting his head and looking into Xiao Zhan's eyes. He nods his head, several times, firmly. "I liked it," he says. "I liked it a lot." He kisses Xiao Zhan again, almost distractedly, like now that he knows he can do it, he can't quite stop. "I wanted you to come in my mouth," he says. "I wanted to taste all of it."
How can he say these things without blushing? How does he do it? Xiao Zhan's whole face is flushed with heat even hearing it. He has to take a breath before he can respond. "I want to taste you, too," he whispers. "I want to try it."
A complicated series of looks goes over Yibo's face, and he drops his head against Xiao Zhan's chest, rolling it back and forth. "I keep forgetting," he says, happily. "I keep forgetting this is new for you, too."
Xiao Zhan feels a grin stretching across his face again. Helplessly. Hopelessly. "Very new to me, Wang-laoshi," he says, and presses his smile against his hair. "All new to me."