Archive of Our Own

Rey saw him while she was watering her plants. The bustling greenery sat on her windowsill, just behind her dual-screen set-up. They had long overgrown, but she couldn’t bring herself to prune them back even as their pink polka dot leaves cover the Windows logo on the bottom left side of her screen, a climbing vine is winding its way up the right monitor's stand, and occasionally she has to carefully wrestle her mouse cord out of the sprigs.

It was far from the first time she had seen her neighbor. The only thing separating them were their two windowpanes and the twelve-foot-wide alley between their buildings - well six if you counted the balconies. Quite close quarters, really, but such is having an apartment in the city. 

He kept late hours and had on more than one occasion been the cause of Rey screaming quickly in the dead of night, catching his face illuminated by only his computer screens in her peripheral vision as she ventured for water or a late night snack.  The blue light of the monitors would cast an almost vampiric glow to his pale skin, which was offset by his dark features.

This was, however, the first time she had seen him during the daylight hours. 
Him, sitting at his computer, his lips moving in this odd way, staring intensely at the screens.  Okay, so her neighbor was attractive. Kinda. Maybe.  But in that way where he became more attractive the more you looked at them. His features didn’t seem to work at first, but then she kept catching herself sneaking glances, because there was definitely something about that man that was downright appealing the more she looked.

And she looked.
A lot.

Now with this county wide lock-down in effect, it seemed neither of them were going anywhere any time soon for a long while. Apparently, she was going to get to look her fill.

So, this was going to be her new normal. 
Being at home.  Working at home.  Not leaving her small apartment for the foreseeable future. 
And she was going to have to see that every day.

That being her neighbor.  Rey was still half-certain he was a creature of the night; he had the pale skin and dark alluring features that vampires tended to have, but he was up and about during the daylight so there was that going against her theory. Still, here she was, and every time she looked up, her eyes caught him through the gap in between her monitors.  He was like a weird co-worker.
Both of them there, at their computers, working away, making awkward eye contact.
It was awkward.  She really didn’t want this to be awkward, as it seemed like they were both going to be working from home for the entire duration.

On impulse, she hastily scrawled with a thick marker on a spare sheet of paper and taped it up to her window, where it would be in his direct line of sight.

Hope you have a good day!

Yeah, that seemed like a co-workery thing to say. Well, write.  This would break the awkwardness of catching glimpses of each other - break the seeing-but-not-acknowledging barrier - and she was reaching out in this weird time. Sometimes people just needed a bit of a boost in their day.  Yeah, she was feeling good about this.

Rey saw his dark head pop over his monitor to look at her sign. She gave a wave.
She did not get a wave in return.

Rude.

Turn the noise down.

Of all the first notes he could have written, that was what he was going to go with? Seriously? Should she pretend not to see it?

By noise, do you mean my music?

Rey held up her sign with a flourish, watching as he scowled and bent, hastily scratching out his own note.

Just turn it down.

Rey clicked the volume higher. Just a little. The track switched to the next song, arguably more poppy and annoying than the last. She looked up from her work as the chorus hit with a smirk.

He had his head in his hands, palms pressed against his eyes. Another, one-word message was written below the last.

Please?

Better.

She turned it down to half the volume it was previously set at.

Have you had your 8 glasses of water today?

Rey was starting to become concerned for her co-worker.  It had been a solid week, and she could not recall seeing him drink out of anything other than an oversized coffee mug (which made sense, as the man appeared to be oversized, and thus the cup was in proportion) and aluminum cans.   She wanted to make certain that he was taking care of himself while they were all locked inside, and drinking water was part of self-care.
Large, brooding neighbor-man needed to look after himself - or she would do it for him.

His reply came about an hour later.

Does coffee and Red Bull count?

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Rey wrote out her response as she felt his eyes on her.

Go drink a glass of water.

Holding up her note, she quirked a brow at him as he read the words.  Was he going to take her order?

He bent back down, quickly writing out a reply, before he held it up for her.

Fine. Bossy.

Rey could swear he was wearing a smile as he turned and left her field of vision through the window.  She stared absentmindedly at her computer screens, her marker tapping on her last note.  Mr. Broody returned with a tall glass of water and her eyes snapped to him. He raised the glass in toast.  She bit her lip as she watched him down the glass, his Adam's apple working as he drank down the water, and it did something to her.  It was a show he was putting on. Finishing off the glass, he swiped his thumb over his bottom lip as though collecting a wayward drop of water.
She wanted to be that thumb.
Whoa - where had that thought come from?
This is what self-isolation was doing to her - thirsting over her broody neighbor?

Maybe it wasn’t too late to get a pet of some sort.

When was the last time you had a fruit or vegetable?

What the hell was he on about?  She was eating a vegetable right now.  Potatoes were a vegetable and by far the superior of the vegetable family.  And the Tayto’s ‘Cheese and Onion’ crisps she hoarded were the fucking best, plus onion - look another vegetable.

Potatoes are a vegetable

She made eye contact with him as she parted her lips and bit down on the crisp, rolling her eyes back in pleasure.  Smiling, Rey opened her eyes to meet her neighbor’s gaze straight on.  He was working his jaw back and forth, as he held up a note for her, his gaze intense even from this distance.

You know what I mean.

Rey did know what he meant.  And more than that, he was right.  She had been consuming junk food and snacking more than she should. 
Letting out a sigh, she pushed back from her desk and could actually feel his smug smile.

Giving him the ‘one finger salute’ she made the short distance to her kitchen and grabbed a carrot. She ignored the warm feeling blooming in her chest - probably just some indigestion from all the preservatives.

Could you put a shirt on?!

This had been a new thing Mr. Broody had decided on over the past several days. 
Since he was working from home, he apparently didn’t need to wear a shirt - and it was distracting as fuck.  How was she meant to do work when she kept catching glimpses of his wide expanse of well-toned chest?

When he got up next, Rey diverted her eyes, her cheeks flaming.

He'd taken off his sweatpants, too.
So. Much. Muscular. Thigh.
Such tiny underwear for such a brickhouse of a man.

Fuck, he was pretty. He was so pretty.  How was it possible for a person to be so genetically blessed?  And she got to look at him all day while working.

This was torture.  It had to end.  She needed to send him off his axis somehow.
The spark came to her, along with an evil smile.

You know what, fucker? Two can play at that game.

Rey got herself ready and waited strategically until she caught him taking a drink of his coffee, then stood and leaned over the monitors to "check on her plants."

The bastard nearly spit it all over his set-up. Good.

She looked damn good in this barely-there nude lace bralette and she knew it. 
Now he knew it, too.

He left and came back shortly after, red in the face and dressed in a button down.

I win, she displayed proudly in the window.

I have a web conference

Sure.

He'd put his phone number in the window.

Well, she assumed it was his number, because that was all that was on the note.
Not his name.  Not ‘hey call me’ or ‘text me maybe’.  No, it was just a row of ten numbers with three dashes.

Ten numbers which she had plugged into her phone - not that she had decided what to do with it.

Rey stared at the note for an inordinate amount of time.  So, it was a good thing that he seemed to have made himself scarce or she would be glaring at him and not the note.

Was she really going to do this? Was this her life?
Possibly texting her next-building neighbor who she had been conversing with through handwritten notes? Because this felt like a big step in their relationship.

Fuck it.  He’d seen her in a sheer bralette.  What was the worst thing that could happen?

Rey:
You give a girl your number but not your name? 👀

She held her breath as she stared at the screen, watching as the three little typing bubbles appeared almost instantly.
Why the fuck was she so nervous?
There was no need to be nervous. This was just something she was doing to pass the time and keep her life interesting.

617-555-0319:
You never asked for my name.

Well, that answered the question of if it was his number.  The fucking arsehole.  And what did she do? She continued to text him, because she couldn’t help herself.

Rey:
😑
I never asked for your number, either, but here we are

617-555-0319:
Is that your way of asking for my name?

Rey:
Stop being Mr. Mysterious, I’ve seen you in your tighty-whities

617-555-0319:
They were black.

Rey:
Semantics

617-555-0319:
Ben.

Ben.

“Ben.”  She tested his name out, a blush creeping into her cheeks at the zing that went through her from saying his name.  Rey quickly added him as a contact to her phone, and then stared at it like an idiot, feeling that warmth spreading through her again.  She rubbed at her chest; indigestion, man.

Rey:
I’m Rey
Nice to ‘meet’ you Ben

Ben:
Same, Rey.
Ran out of spare paper and figured this was a better way to converse anyways.

Rey:
Smart man

Ben:
Generally. Now go eat a fruit.

Rey:
😡 If you're just going to use this to harass me about my eating habits, I'm gonna block you

Ben:
Just trying to help. Don't blame me if you get scurvy.

Rey:
Has anyone ever told you how utterly charming you are?

Ben:
No.

Rey:
Shocker

Rey’s gaze flickered between Ben, her computer monitors, and her phone.  She was contemplating something witty. A real good opening line to get the man talking.  Honestly, she could always text Rose, but there was something about the man across the way that had gotten under her skin.

She grabbed her phone, her eyes once again glancing up to Ben, who was focused on his screens.  Rey thumbed out a message and watched as his hand slipped distractedly off to the side, as his gaze shifted to his phone briefly, only to then catch and flick up to meet hers.  She watched him fight a smile. 
Her top teeth sunk into her bottom lip.

Time for a fifteen-minute break. Was he going to do it?

-INCOMING CALL-

-BEN-

Her thumb swiped up to accept the call before she could even think about it.

"Hello?" she said as it connected. As if there was any question of who was on the other end, caller ID or not.

Rey watched a shocking boyish grin bloom in his features (was he surprised by her accent?) his mouth move, and then slightly delayed through the phone-

"Hey Rey."  A low rich voice came through the line, warming her like top-shelf whiskey.  So, his voice was just as hot as the rest of him. Noted.  That would come in handy later tonight.
Fuck. No. Bad thoughts.

"Say one thing about fruit,” she warned. “I fucking dare you."

Oh, his laugh was wonderful, too.

It had been a motherfucking day.

The weeks of self-isolation were starting to grate roughly on her nerves, and she felt ready to jump out of her skin.  Was this what Jack Nicholson's character felt like in The Shining?  Like, yes, she was still talking to her friends, and they were FaceTiming and in constant contact, but it felt like the walls of her small apartment were closing in.  She felt too hot.  It was becoming hard to swallow and tears were pricking at the corners of her eyes. 

She was alone.

The only sound in her apartment was the beat of her heart in her ears.  There was no one on the street, no cars driving past. The sounds of the city that typically lulled her to sleep had vanished.

Rey was done.
She was so done.  Breathing was growing more and more ragged, the pounding of her heart a sickeningly quick rhythm.

She was one of the lucky ones.  She was still employed.  She was healthy.  But she was becoming mentally exhausted.   Actually, she was becoming physically nauseous from it all.  The worst thing of it all, was that it was all in her head, and she knew it.  Knew that she shouldn’t feel guilty for being lucky.  Knew that she was doing everything she could by staying inside.  But it didn’t stop her breathing from coming out in short gasps, tears blurring her vision.

She knew she had a low-grade general anxiety disorder, but it was something she had been able to manage on her own for years.  Now, though, now it felt out of control, like it was bigger than she could ever be.

Pulling out her phone, she hit a button, the blue light illuminating the time; 3:07 in the morning.  And then she sent the dreaded text.

Rey: 
You up?

She quickly flipped her phone over, her stomach roiling.  Had she really just sent a ‘you up’ text?  Her phone chimed loudly in the silence. She scrambled to collect it in an appallingly ungraceful movement she was glad no one could witness.

Ben:
Yeah, what’s up?  You okay?

Was she okay?  She didn’t want to lie to him.  But in the same breath she didn’t want to come off as being dramatic.

Rey:
I’m not sure
Think I’m having a mild anxiety attack

Only a second latter, his name appeared on her screen.

-INCOMING CALL-

-BEN-

She had barely sent out the text, and he was calling her.  Her heart seized, and she found a bit of ground as she answered his call, his voice instantly helping to soothe her raw nerves. Her hand clenched against the sheets of her bed as she took in deep, nearly gasping breaths.

His voice was calming, bringing her back to herself as he spoke about the nonsense of his job as though she actually understood the technical aspects for his work. 

“Thank you,” she said at last. When she had been breathing normally for several counts. Once some tangent about an annoying coworker had managed to make her huff the weakest of laughs. “I thought I was handling this all grandly, but I just felt so alone.” She said the last word on a whispered sigh.  It felt almost silly to say out loud, but she had to remind herself that she was allowed to feel her emotions.  That she didn’t have to justify having them.

“You’re not alone.” 

Ben.  Ben was there.  Ben who she saw everyday - six feet away, separated by the glass of their windows.  Ben, who she wanted to hold her until she fell asleep.  Ben, who was awake at this ungodly hour.  Who had bruising under his eyes that was even visible from a distance. He needed to know that she was there for him, they were in this together.

“Neither are you.”

She needed to do face-time wine night with Rose soon, because she was starting to get a crush on her neighbor.

"Do you want to play a game?" Rey asked lightly, taking a sip of her drink, trying to come off as blasé. She used her cup to hide her smile as Ben’s eyes narrowed on her.

They had eaten dinner ‘together’.  Meaning that they had both made spaghetti and had eaten at the same time, at their desks.  It was the weekend, which had become an awkward stretch of time. Honestly, time had seemed to warp in this new reality, where now a single day felt like it held a week's worth of events.  She needed to do something other than what had become her mundane routine.

"Are you going to trick me into sawing off my own foot?"

"What? No!  Why would that be the first thing that comes to your mind?  Do we need to have a talk? Has someone tried to get you to saw your own foot off before?"

He waved off her questions, a ghost of a smile pulling at his lips as he shook his head, although he was attempting to come off as stoic.  He really was an arse. An adorable arse.

"Okay, then, what did you have in mind?"  

A sly grin stretched across Rey's face as Ben watched her skeptically through the windows.  She was starting to realize that he didn’t deny her anything if she asked.
Something clenched low in her abdomen.

"Truth or Dare."

Well, those words came out more suggestive than she had intended.

Half an hour later, Rey's tongue was tingling from taking a shot of sriracha and Ben had proved that he could, in fact, do a handstand, much to the surprise of them both.

She confessed she had stolen her favorite book from her middle school library and told the librarian a non-existent cousin took it out of state. She still had it.

He had written fanfiction but ardently refused to tell her what about.

Rey liked to grow things because it proved she was capable of making something live after growing up in the barren desert her whole life.

Ben had never been in love before.

"Alright, your turn," he grumbled as he messed with the socks on his hands, the fulfillment of her third dare. His arms had been shoved into the legs of his jeans and his tank top was pulled down around his hips like a skirt. Rey was trying very hard not to notice how it hugged his ass like a second skin, or of the prominent bulge he was rocking in the front. She wasn't succeeding. "Truth or Dare."

"Dare." It came out on a rasp, and she took a pull from her glass of water.

"Go out on your balcony and sing a Disney song."

Rey cringed internally and let out a groan of displeasure. “Fine, but you're coming out with me."

"I'm putting my pants back on if I go out there."

Damn. 

"Fine."

As it turned out, Ben decided to put only his pants back on, which Rey deemed an acceptable turn of events. It allowed her to view his wide expanse of chest, which, as much as she gave him shit about it, she really quite enjoyed. Maybe too much.

And that's how she ended up belting "Let It Go" from her balcony, Ben watching her with rapt, intense attention. He nearly dissolved into laughter when she decided to adlib the line "a kingdom of self-isolation."

Her voice was a little rough by the time she proclaimed, "the cold never bothered me anyway." Ben instantly burst into applause- as did a few other people along the block, clapping and whistling and one disgruntled, "can you be done now?" Rey chuckled and tucked her hair behind her ear.

"I don't know that that dare is really fair," Ben said. "You're too good at it to be embarrassing."

"Hey, you just said I had to sing, not that I had to suck."

"True." He smiled at her, so softly. She had to swallow thickly, trying to get her heart down out of her throat.

"Alright, alright. Truth or Dare?"

"Dare," he smirked, though it quickly fell into a look of blank shock as she started unhooking her bra under her shirt. She could feel his burning gaze on her and was trying to talk her body down as she slipped the bra free.  It was her least favorite, made of a cheap stretchy material that provided minimum support, so Rey had no problems with balling it up and chucking it across the gap between them. It hit him square in the face and he scrambled to catch it to keep it from dropping down to the street.

"Put that on. You need one anyway.” 

"You think?" he asked, genuine curiosity in his tone. He looked down at his chest and bounced on his heels a couple times, making his pecs jiggle.

They had more bounce than her own tits did. It truly wasn't fair.
She hoped there was enough distance between them so he couldn’t see the way her nipples had begun to pebble, and it wasn’t just from the slight chill in the air.

Ben was muttering to himself, red in the face, as he fumbled to get the bra straightened out. He slipped one arm through a strap, pulling it on like a backwards vest.

"You're never going to get it latched like that."

"I don't think I'm gonna get it latched at all," he grumbled, trying to pull the hooks behind him.  He was massive compared to her and this was making that glaringly obvious, which was messing with her head. "What is this, a twenty-inch band?"

"Your bra education is sadly lacking if you think that's twenty inches."

"It's gonna rip if I try to put it around my chest. I’m too big. How the fuck do you do this?"

"You put it on like a belt so you can see what you're doing and then twist it around and up." Rey couldn't decide what the most surreal part of this quarantine experience was but coaching her behemoth of a neighbor on how to put on a bra was definitely up there.

Ben managed to get it latched around his waist, after an absolutely hilarious struggle and a little shouting about "thick fingers" that went straight to her core, causing her to press her thighs together, but upon trying to pull it up his body it promptly got stuck at the base of his ribcage. It was stretched to an inch of its life.

"Good enough," Rey said with a grin and snapped a picture of him scowling in straining lingerie - she needed a picture for his contact in her phone after all.

"Tell me about one of your dreams."

His voice and her breathing were the only sounds in the dark of her bedroom. Fifteen minutes earlier Ben had caught her walking through her kitchen. It had been about half past two in the morning and she couldn't sleep; Ben apparently couldn’t either.  Her phone had rung as she finished filling her water bottle, and she looked up to see his now familiar form through her window. 
Now she was curled in her bed, the sound of his voice low and intimate.

"Like a dream-dream or a wish-dream?"

"Either. Both."

Rey hummed as she thought. "I dreamed I could fly, once. Like… I could feel it. The effort that my limbs were putting in to keep me afloat. It felt like after you go for a long run, that clenching, tingling soreness that's almost pain, the endorphin euphoria. It made my whole body feel strong and free and I just... flew away from everything."

"That's beautiful," he murmured.

"I cried my eyes out when I woke up," she confessed in hushed tones.

"When I have nightmares, they always take place in my childhood home." His voice was ragged, and Rey's heart clenched at the implication, listening intently. "One that stuck with me… I was being chased through the house by this dark presence. It was the most disgusting thing I'd ever been near. It caught me, right before I could reach my parents room, and I was lying on the floor, terrified, unable to move, as this monster just sat there and held my hand. And this man stood next to me and the monster and told me, 'Look at it. You have to look at it. You have to accept it.'"

"Did you? Look at it?"

"No." 

They laid there in the quiet for long minutes. Rey's whole body felt weighed down. She didn't think she was even capable of wiggling her toes in that moment. Ben broke it, clearing his throat, and she took in a deep breath as her lungs remembered what their full capacity was.

"Now tell me about a wish-dream."

"I want to fly. In a plane, I mean. I've never flown anywhere before. So… I want to go see another country or two. And I don't want to go alone," Rey whispered the last part. She sniffed and turned over, burrowing further into her bed, her voice muffled by her pillow. "Your turn."

She waited patiently for him to answer. His voice hitched as he started and stopped a few times, trying to get the words out.

"I want… I want someone to hold my hand, and look at me, and tell me they accept me."

She wanted that, too.  Wanted him.

“I wish you were here.” 

“Yeah? In your apartment?” 

“In my bed.”

There was a beat, she could hear him breathing on the other end of the line as she pulled her lips in and closed her eyes, knowing she revealed too much in the comfort of the dark.

“I wish I was there, too.”

Rey:
I just heard a thump on my balcony
I've got my floor lamp, if I die know I went down swinging
Cry for me? 😢

Ben:
Calm down, it was me.
Also, should I be concerned that you texted me instead of calling the cops?
Do we need to have a safety chat?

Rey:
You jumped onto my balcony?

Like yes, they were still in lockdown. But if Ben had fucking leaped on to her fire escape, who was she to tell him to go away? Fuck, she’d happily take being separated by just glass. He’d probably get cold out there eventually, though.
Hadn’t she read somewhere that you could have a sex buddy during all of this as long as they were in the same household?
This was not the time to be thinking about having sex with her neighbor.
Her amazingly hot neighbor.

Ben:
I threw something on your balcony. Go get it.

As much as Rey hated taking orders, her curiosity was getting the better of her.  Because what in the world could he have thrown over that made such a noise?  She saw him behind the window as she scrunched her face in confusion at the garbage bag sitting on her fire escape.  She had questions, but she also trusted Ben enough for it not to be something like a dead body.  Coming outside, she gingerly opened the bag, her fingers meeting soft, warm fabric, and it was fucking heavy.  What the hell?

She managed to wrangle it inside her apartment with just a bit of cursing on her part, and then by pretty much putting her whole upper body in the trash bag - feeling oddly like a metaphor for her life - she hefted out its contents.
A blanket?

Rey:
Why does this blanket weigh 50lbs?

Ben:
It's only eighteen.
And it's a weighted blanket.
...obviously.

She looked between the blanket and Ben’s stoic expression, trying to piece together why the hell he would have thrown a weighted blanket onto her balcony.
She came up with nothing.

Rey:
…why?

Ben:
They're good for anxiety.

Oh.  

Rey:
Oh

For fucks sake, this man.  She was not going to cry.  She was not going to cry over the completely sweet and thoughtful gesture. 
Who did something like this?
Rey held the blanket to her chest, her gaze shifting between the typing bubbles on her phone screen and the way Ben was pacing in and out of view of his window.

Rey:
Spit it out, Solo
I can see you typing up a storm and not sending anything

Ben:
And it's the closest thing to hugging you I can do right now.

Rey:
😳
Thank you, Ben…

Ben:
You're welcome.

She was surrounded by warmth, the weight of the blanket a calming presence - but it was the scent that seemed to flood her system, heating her blood.  This is what Ben would smell like. 
If she closed her eyes, she could almost imagine that it was his weight wrapped around her.

Rey:
This is a very good blanket
It’s my new best friend

Ben:
Glad to hear it.

Rey:
My best friend is telling me to sleep

Ben:
You should listen to it, then.

Rey:
Ok...
Night Ben 

Ben:
Sleep tight, Rey.

Her brain decided to take his words as command, and she was out cold within moments. She’d never slept so deeply before, so heavily.

She dreamed of a low voice whispering sweet words against her shoulder. Plush lips brushing against her skin. Solid arms wrapped around her. One over her waist, holding her tight, fingers splayed over the expanse of her stomach. The other pillowed her head, stretched out, and held her hand.

Rey:
I made you brownies
Open your window and step back
I have one shot to catapult these through

He glared at her.  It would have been impressive if she was the least bit afraid of him.  Him glaring made her think of what she could do to make him smile, to soften him.
She really liked it when he was soft with her, but she had a feeling she’d be pretty captivated with him hard.

Ben:
You are NOT going to risk demolishing my monitor.
Go out on the balcony and hot potato them to me like an adult.

Rey let out a dramatic sigh that would have done the silent films proud, looking up at Ben across the way.  She had wanted to make something homemade.  It was silly and made her feel like a teenager with a crush.  And she’d been watching too much Pushing Daisies - it was starting to play on her romantic side. She had hoped to combat her crush with acting like it wasn’t a big deal, which was very immature for her at twenty-five years, but here she was.  Brownies secured in a plastic container with a shoestring tied around it for added security. 

Her heart kicked up as she stepped out onto her balcony. She couldn’t believe she was doing this.  Ben was already out and waiting in the bright noon light, and would it really be so bad if she flung herself off the fire escape at him?

Yes, because they were social distancing.  This was not the time to give in to the little feral thirsty devil that was perched on her shoulder, nearly screaming in her ear.  Especially as he stood there in low slung jeans and a Henley that was putting up a good fight to fit his broad chest and thick arms.
She was not going to openly drool.
She was not.
She threw him the brownies, which he deftly caught mid-air, that shirt of his working wonders to contain his muscles.  

“I might have made you something as well,” Ben said, with a nervous boyishness about him that was so fucking cute. Seriously, who gave him the right-

“Wait, really?” she asked in a disbelieving tone even as she could feel herself smiling broadly at him.  

“Yeah.  Baked some fresh bread and made some sandwiches.  And I thought maybe, if you wanted, we could have lunch together.”  He popped back into his apartment, and returned holding up his own container, shifting his body weight from foot to foot. “It’s a nice day, if you don’t mind eating out here.”

Was he asking her on a little lunch date?  Like, as a friend?  Or maybe something else?  But it would be stupid to start something up now.  Right?
Well, it looked like she didn’t care because she agreed with a quick, bright, “Yes.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, Ben. I’d love to have lunch with you. Throw it over.” 

Rey:
https://youtu.be/y32bRcJzL2w  
If you have any affection for me in your heart you will click the link and watch this.

Ben:
WHY.
WHY WOULD YOU HAVE ME WATCH THAT?!
That is in my brain now.
I CAN HEAR YOU LAUGHING.

Rey:
WE HAVE BEEN BLESSED 
🤣🤣🤣

Ben:
You are so lucky every store is out of cleaning supplies because I want to bleach my mind.

Rey:
You're so extra I love you
It
*Love it
Auto-suggest...
https://youtu.be/q12zKLAkAeU  

Ben:
I'm NOT going to click that.

Rey:
Please?

Ben:
No.

Rey:
PLEASE???
Look out your window
Look out your window, Ben

Ben:
DAMN YOU AND YOUR SAD KITTEN EYES
Fine, I'll watch it.

Rey:
❤

Ben:
Oh, for fucks sake, Rey, WHY
WHY?!
I CAN STILL HEAR YOU LAUGHING!!

Rey:
Are you allergic to cotton fiber blends?

Ben:
No?
What makes you ask?

Rey:
You continue to not wear a shirt
At, like, every opportunity

Ben:
I am at home. It is my privilege to not have to wear a shirt.
Besides, you like it.

Rey:
Whatever gave you that idea?

Ben:
You rearranged your plants to have a more direct sight line to my apartment.

Rey:
I believe I have the right to plead the fifth in your country

Ben:
You're welcome to join me in not wearing shirts.
I can see you blushing.
Your monitors can't protect you now.
You are the same woman who whipped off her top to put me in my place, right?

Rey:
Wipe that shit-eating grin off your face and go back to work, Benjamin

Ben:
How are you doing that with your spine?
Holy shit.
If I wasn’t seeing it for myself, I would not believe you’d be capable of texting in that position.

Rey:
Well not quickly...

Ben:
Voice to text would be faster.

Rey:
Or you could come out on your balcony instead of creeping on me through your window

Ben:
Or-- I can stay inside.
Because it is way too cold this morning.
You're a crazy person.
And apparently a contortionist. I’m sure that’s a handy skill.

Rey:
It's just yoga, Benjamin.

Ben:
"Just yoga" she says, with her head touching the back of her thigh.

Rey:
Gotta get my exercise in somehow

Ben:
You can still social distance while jogging.

Rey:
I look better doing yoga. Running turns me into an asthmatic tomato.
Not all of us can look like Greek Gods doing calisthenics

Ben:
Excuse me?

Rey:
Don't act like you don't know, Mr. Shirtless
Coming back from that run last week
Then jumping right into doing pull-ups in your doorframe
All your glistening, heaving abdominals, bulging biceps and whatnot

Ben:
Endurance is important, Sweetheart.

Rey:
So is flexibility, Love

I made you a thing - look on your fire escape

Rey knew this was the coward’s way out, posting a note in the window, but she was feeling vulnerable. This wasn’t just her making a tray of brownies or him sharing his bread. Was this what he felt like when he’d launched the blanket over to her side?

Her phone blipped with a new text message. 

Ben:
You do know you could have just texted me.  As you have my number.
And have texted me on numerous occasions.
Once even to throw over tissues as you were, and I quote, ‘In your feels over Space Wars.’ I still standby that you could have used a towel, but I threw them to you anyways out of the goodness of my heart.

Rey:
I was feeling nostalgic about those beginning days
You were such a grump

Ben:
My cute neighbor was talking to me. Didn’t know how to respond.
Rey?
Did you make me a face mask?

Rey:
Yeah...
To protect you when you go on runs
Saw something that the CDC said you should wear them when you’re out
Just trying to keep you safe
Don’t make a big deal about it

Ben:
You like me

Rey:
Shut up

She was so hung up on internal embarrassment and trying not to let Ben see her blush that it took her nearly half an hour to look up and notice he had left his own note - inked onto a paper towel, he really was out of scratch paper - taped up in the window.  And she was fucking glowing.

I like you, too.

“That’s not how you knead bread,” Ben’s voice came on an exasperated sigh.  Rey gave him a glare through her tablet, where his face filled the screen, a bit of flour marking his cheek.

“Well, if I had a better teacher--” She pushed a few wisps of hair away with the back of her hand, barely finishing her sentence before he started talking.

“No. No. If you just listened--”

“I’m listening, you arse, but it’s not computing.  Show me again.”  Rey watched as he angled his video so she could see the way his hands kneaded the dough. Oh, those hands of his. 
What would it be like, having his hands on her?
Those fingers really couldn’t be that thick, could they?
Was it wrong to keep having him angle down the camera so she could watch his hands work with a quiet confidence?

Yeah, she would happily make bread with him any time he asked. 

Ben:
So, I’m thinking of doing a grocery run on Friday.
Just to the little shop around the corner.
Would you want to come?
Provided you stay the proper 6 feet away.

Rey:
Are you asking me to spend my one day a week of like 30 minutes of freedom to social distance with you while we run basic errands?

Ben:
Yes.

Rey:
Sounds like fun
We can even stream a movie and have dinner ‘together’ when we get back

Ben:
It’s a date.

Holy shit.  This was a date.  Like a date-date.

Well, as much of a date as they could have during a pandemic.  But Rey had taken the time to do her hair and apply some mascara.  She’d even changed her outfit, like, ten times while face-timing her Rose, because she was going on a fucking date with Ben, and her outfit needed to match her face mask.
Sure, she couldn’t kiss him at the end of it. Or invite him back to her place and then ride him into the sunrise. But at least she could be near him (aka six feet away) and stare up at him, and enjoy his pretty face, and see that he wasn’t some sort of hallucination that her brain had concocted to deal with the isolation.  Maybe she could grab a picture and send it to Rose - just to verify that he was real.  Or was that crazy?  Was this what quarantine was doing to her?

“Penny for your thoughts?”  Ben’s low, smooth voice cut through her thoughts as she whipped her head to look at him.

He was real.  And standing the proper social distance.  And he was massive, and stunning, and was wearing the fucking mask she’d made from one of her old pillowcases and a couple of hair ties, and his eyes.  Fuck her, those eyes of his were so soft and intense. He’d dressed up, too - well more dressed up then she’d seen him bumming around the house.  Had he put in effort just to impress her?

“Wish you weren’t so far away.”

He let out a strangled sound. “Yeah, that makes two of us, Sweetheart.”

She wished she could see his lips and his nose.

“I’ll send you a picture.”

Oh, great.  She’d voice that out loud.

“You did.”

“One day I will stop embarrassing myself in front of you,” she groaned, looking skyward.

“Damn, I hope not. You’re adorable when you blush,” Ben said. Rey was very glad in that moment for the mask hiding her heated cheeks. “Yep, just like that. Red all the way to your ears.”

The mask betrayed her.

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop. For now,” he chuckled. “I would like you to actually enjoy our date and not feel like you have to dive for cover. And I am glad you came with me today.”

“Yeah? Even just to get groceries?”

“Oh, especially to get groceries. This way I can guarantee you get fresh produce instead of five types of potato product.”

“Potatoes are fresh produce.”

“And yet I have seen no evidence of this among the chips and fries that frequent your meal plans.” Despite the mask, she could tell he was smirking, that cheeky bastard. “You need guidance, dear Rey. Fear not, I’m here for you.”

“Watch yourself, Benjamin, I am perfectly capable of chucking an apple at your head from six feet away.”

“You could have texted instead of throwing- what the fuck is this?”  Ben was bending over, and Rey pegged him in the head to get his attention.  She’d spent a solid three minutes firing these things at his window to get his attention as she sat out on her fire escape.

“The words you are looking for are ‘uncooked pasta.’  Why did you leave a package for me at my reception?  You normally just throw things over.”

“I was attempting to do things the normal way.  And it’s for our next date.”

“Very cocky for a man who didn’t even get a goodnight kiss.”

“Fucking pandemic,” he grumbled, shaking noodles from his hair. “Did you open it yet?”

“No.”

“Go open it.”

Rey swiveled to grab the box she’d left within reach just inside, pulling it out onto the balcony with her and ripping the cardboard open. She stared at the contents for a moment before looking back up at Ben, who was running a hand through his hair and watching her nervously.

“Art supplies?”

“Yeah, you had said that you used to love painting.” He shrugged; shoulders still tight. “I thought we could put on a painting tutorial and paint a picture for each other.  There is also chocolate and gin.  We don’t have to do-”

She launched another bit of pasta at Ben, thoroughly cutting his ramble off as it managed to slip past the collar of his V-neck. At least it got him to look up at her so she could see his adorable blush, and he could see the blinding grin stretched across her face.

“You really are something special, Ben.”

“So… you like it?”

“I love it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Then let’s paint some happy fucking trees.” And there was that adorably boyish grin again, stopping her the breath in her lungs.

Rey was pretty sure at this point that that smiling, fuckable redwood across the alley was the only happy tree she needed in her life.
Oxygen be damned.

Rey:
You okay over there?

Ben:
I’ve looked at this for five hours now.

Rey:
Life goal accomplished: Ben speaks in meme

Ben:
Seriously, though.
Rey.
This is amazing.

Rey:
What’s amazing is just how small my painting looks in your hands
Your fingers alone are mini trees in thickness
Typing much be a bitch

Ben:
Well, you know what they say about a man with thick fingers.

Rey:
👀👀

Ben:
That they have issues using tiny touch screens.
Fuck.
I wasn't alluding to anything else.
I feel like it came across like I was alluding to something else.
Not to say that it's small, because it's not, everything is in proportion.
I didn't mean to say that.
That seems like I want you to know my penis size.
Which is somehow worse than sending a dick pic, and I am not that kind of guy.
I mean if you asked, I would, I’m not shy about it.
That came out wrong.
Fucking hell.

Rey:
Just use your mouth instead of your hands
...oh no

Ben:
I mean if you asked, I would.

Rey:
What?

Ben:
Use my mouth on you…
If you wanted.

Rey:
Yes  

Ben:
Yes?
Like…

Rey:
...I would like you to use your mouth on me
and your hands
and really just you

Ben:
I really like you, Rey.

Rey:
Yeah? 
Well, I really like you too.
Like-- I can’t wait till quarantine is over so I can properly show you how much I like you
With my hands
And my mouth

Ben:
Yes.
Yes.
Fuck yes.
I want that, too.

Rey:
Good ❤

“What do you want to watch tonight?” Ben asked. His face was taking up the screen on her tablet as she walked around her tiny apartment, going about her evening.  It was the closest thing they had at the moment to him being there with her, and it was nice spending time with him, knowing that she had his full attention.

This had become their norm, texting and making eye contact during work hours, sitting out on their balconies for meals “together,” winding down the day by watching something in bed before falling asleep. She had never felt as connected to another person as she did with him. Rey was ready to take this to the next level.
And she really hoped she was on the same page as Ben.

“I was thinking, that maybe, possibly, only if you want to…”  Ben was looking at her like she lost her mind, and he might be right. “I need to shower.”

“Oh, okay.  I’ll let you go.”

No. No. That was not how this was supposed to go. “No! I was... inviting you along.  If you want.”

“To your shower?”  She could see the confusion furrow his brow.

“Yes, where I’ll be showering. Naked.” She must be blushing something fierce because she really wanted this to be a smooth seduction of sorts. And she had mucked it up. She needed to retreat. “You know what this is silly, we can just keep watching Brooklyn Nine-N--”

“No.” Ben cut her off.  His pupils dilated making his eyes appear fathomless.  She had his undivided attention.  She felt like she was his sun. “No. I mean, I could help.  Make certain you get all the spots you can’t see.  Then maybe, you could help me?”

He sounded so hopeful.  Looked so fucking hungry.  And so fucking still.
Rey shimmied off her bottoms gracelessly, not that he seemed to mind.  She locked her gaze on his, imagining him there, as she whipped her top off - leaving her bare to him. He breathed in sharply, taking her in.

“You’re fucking perfect,” he whispered, sounding reverent.

Yep.  She was so gone for this man.

Ben:
Rey, sweetheart.  What the fuck is this?

An image popped up on her screen; the smart water bottle she had ordered for him.  The man really needed more water in his life, and no matter how many times she prompted him about his water intake, he always seemed to backslide into his caffeine addiction.

Rey:
Well, I do believe that is a water bottle that yells at you to drink water
Which you need to drink more of
Please
For me?

Ben:
You can stop with the Big Disney Eyes™.
I will drink more water for you.

Rey:
Good 😊
Just like I’ve taken to eating green veggies for you

Ben:
You know that smothering them in cheese takes away from the healthiness factor.

Rey:
I’m working on it Benjamin
Now go drink some water

Ben:
Yes, Sweetheart.

“The first thing I’m going to do when this is all over is come to your place and kiss you.”  Ben’s voice was rough in the dark and his words were so pure coming after what they had just done. 
Him telling her just how to touch herself, how he wanted to touch her, what he was going to do when this was all over.  She had heard him getting off to the sounds of her moans, could hear the way his breath caught, the way she could barely make out the distant sound of skin hitting skin.  She could imagine the way he had gripped himself, the force of the side of his palm meeting his body as he pushed his hand down.

He was always sweet with her, the words always praising, but there was an innocence to hearing him talk about kissing her. 

“Oh yeah?” She felt young and giddy, a heavy teasing note in her words.

“Yes, I want to kiss my fucking girlfriend,” Ben said on a frustrated growl and then softened his words immediately. “That is priority number one on my list.”

He was sweet, so fucking sweet.  And she was head over heels for him. “Getting real pizza is number one on mine.  But kissing you is a close second.”

That earned her one of his low laughs that warmed her skin. “Brat.”

“You like me.”

He was silent for a beat too long, and Rey could feel the heaviness of his words before he even spoke them.

“Something like that.”

Rey received the notification while she was watering her plants. They were way past overgrown sitting on the windowsill behind her kitchen sink, but she couldn’t bring herself to prune them back and they had taken over her computer station.  They seemed to be enjoying their new home, the pink polka dot leaves happily soaking up the springtime sun, even if she occasionally had to be a bit careful when doing her dishes.

It was far from the first time she'd gotten a notification, her life now revolving mainly around technology, much like most people did. However, this was one of her moments where she made a point to step away and just enjoy the simple pleasure of watering her little plants and being removed from constant connectivity for a few minutes.  Finishing up, she picked up her phone, her body stilling at the words on the screen. At the notification that came from the government.

The restrictions were lifted.

Her watering can fell from her limp grasp, the little remaining water splattering across her tile as a frantic energy took over her.  What the fuck was she doing here when Ben was in the next building?  When she could be fucking kissing him right this very moment?  Because, as much as they had perfected their non-long-distance-but-long-distance relationship, Rey wanted to fucking kiss her boyfriend.  Wanted to be able to touch him. Wanted to whisper sweet nothings and dark secrets right against his lips rather than into the dark of her bedroom and her cell’s microphone.

And she could.  She was wasting precious moments standing there like an idiot when she could be touching Ben. Rey all but ran to her door and threw it open, only to come up short.

Ben.  

Ben was at her apartment.
Ben was less than a foot away from her, his hand poised to knock. And-

And holy fucking hell she was in Ben’s arms.  And her arms were around his neck. And she could feel his body molded to hers. And she was walking them back. And he was following, his forehead pressed to hers, the tips of their noses brushing, his stunning eyes laser-focused on her own like he was trying to memorize her.  He kicked the door shut. They were alone in her apartment.

And he still wasn't wearing a fucking shirt.

Rey was in his arms, and they felt better than she could have ever imagined banded around her back. One of his large hands was cradling the back of her neck, his thumb gliding over her skin.  She could hardly stand the soft touches and his hard body and the way he was looking at her like she was the only woman in the galaxy.  Pushing up on her toes, she brought her lips to his in an innocent, brushing kiss.  

He was real. He was here. He was hers.

“Ben.” His name came out on an exhale against his lips, her own pulling back into a smile, as he bent to kiss her with his lips pulled back into a smile, saying her name into the kiss.

Their happiness filled her small living space.  She nipped at his bottom lip, enjoying the way he melted into her, his hand coming up to bracket her throat and she opened to him as he worshiped her mouth. Her hands carded through his hair as she pressed her hips into his, her eyes nearly rolling back at the feel of him hard and erect against her.

They decided not to leave the apartment for several days.

I Love You.

The surprise post-it note written in Ben’s scrawling script was taped to their bathroom mirror. Rey had trouble fixing her make-up, trying to work around her grin. She plucked it from the glass and traced her fingers reverently over the letters. Her cheeks were feeling permanently dimpled from all the smiling, but such was life when you were with the person who made you feel safe and adored and cared for.

She dropped the slip of paper into her rapidly-filling nightstand drawer. She’d need to get another scrapbook soon. And post-its.

So many post-its.

Ben was waiting for her by the door, slipping on his shoes, shirt buttons fighting the good fight to keep his flannel closed. He already had her scarf and jacket slung over his other arm, because “it’s autumn, Rey, and it gets cold, and you never remember to bring layers, and I don’t want the love of my life freezing to death.”

She’ll get the flannel anyway.

“You ready?”

Rey nodded, joining him at his side and lacing their fingers together. It was their new normal, to tie themselves together like this, as close by each other's side as they could be whenever they shared space. She leaned her head against his shoulder, and he kissed the crown of her head as they left their apartment.

“I love you, too.”