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An Intimate Secret
In the middle of Soho you will find Kingsman Toys & Books, one of London’s most renowned shops when it comes to sex toys and adult entertainment. Even though most of its business is now conducted via their online store, the physical shop is still a Soho landmark and the secret behind their success is a very personal one.
The company started in 1985 at a kitchen table in a small studio flat, selling its first product -- a butt plug called the King’s Man -- at Queens & Divas, a LGBT-book store and café just off Old Compton Street. As Kingsman’s line of toys and aids expanded, the Queens & Divas declined as so many niche book stores, and in 1999 Kingsman bought the shop from its former owner. They renamed the shop Kingsman and even if the café is long gone, they still have a wall filled with books and the old Queens & Divas sign sitting proudly above it.
- All proceeds from the books go directly to Switchboard, said Harry Hart, Kingsman CEO, in an interview last fall. They do very important work and it feels good to be able to give something back. To be able to do it in honour and memory of James [Spencer, founder of Queens & Divas] makes it even better.
For years, Kingsman’s best selling product has been the Wizard’s Dick dildo. It’s in the shape of an anatomical penis, but it’s sold in just about every colour one can think of and in a variety of sizes (XS-XL). Since a few years back, it’s also available as a strap-on. It’s to dildos what the Hitachi Magic Wand is for vibrators.
Most people in the industry know that this dildo is the true foundation and origin of the Kingsman empire, but what few people -- even in the industry -- know is that the dildo is a cast replica of Kingsman co-founder and head of R&D’s dick and that he only made it because his then-boyfriend, now-husband Harry Hart, Kingsman CEO, asked him for it before going on an exchange year. Rumour has it that it’s the XL which is the natural size, but no one affiliated with Kingsman has ever confirmed that.
What is confirmed though is that every eighth dildo sold in the UK and every sixteenth sold worldwide last year was a Kingsman dildo. Though not every Kingsman dildo sold is a Wizard’s Dick, we can pretty safely say that there is one man who has properly fucked the country over -- and we don’t seem to mind, because we always come back for more.
Clara von Gluckfberg, for maGayzine
Harry looks at the Wizard’s Dick dildo XL on the bed. It’s not his, his is deep burgundy and this one is lime green. He leaves it where it is, walking over to the en suite where Merlin is just out of the shower, tying a towel around his waist.
“Oi, knocking!”
“Oi, locking the door.”
Merlin rolls his eyes and opens the cabinet over the sink. Harry sits down on the closed toilet and watches as he takes out his razor and starts to shave. It takes about a minute before Merlin sighs and glares at him through the mirror.
“Did you want something?”
“You mean other than watch you shave?”
Merlin turns his head to look at him over his shoulder.
“There’s a dildo on our bed.”
“Hm,” is all the reply Harry gets before Merlin turns back to the mirror, but Harry notices the faint blush on Merlin’s neck. He tries really hard not to smile, but it creeps through.
“Were you planning on having some fun without me, or... ?”
Merlin mutters something inaudible. Harry crosses his legs and waits, knowing that he’ll have the whole story before Merlin is done shaving if he just stays silent. It’s really hard though.
“I read the article on maGayzine,” Merlin starts when he finally breaks. He rinses the razor under the tap. “Started thinking about how many people have been fucked with my cock and I thought that perhaps it’s time that I see what the fuss is about.”
Just hearing that very vague description makes something stir low in Harry’s gut. Fucking Merlin with Merlin’s own cock, Merlin being fucked by his own cock. The sight of it disappearing between Merlin’s butt cheeks… Damn.
Still.
“Sweetheart, you know you can’t just do that, right?”
“Why, would it be weirder than selling it?”
“Oh, it’s not. That’s not what I meant at all. I’m saying you can’t take it. Especially not on your own. Yet. If ever.”
Merlin frowns and Harry has to bite back a chuckle.
“I don’t think you understand how large you actually are,” says Harry. “I’m a small, perhaps a medium, so that dildo out there is two or three sizes larger than you’re used to.”
“Who’s been preping you for this cock for the last twenty-something years?”
“You know, I’m starting to wonder. It took, what, two months? Six months? For me to properly get there. And you thought you could do it tonight, just for fun?”
Merlin crossed his arms, looking somewhere between put down and embarrassed.
Harry smiles fondly at him. “Are you going to ask me?”
“Can you fuck me with the Wizard’s Dick?”
“Yes.” Harry stands and steps up to Merlin. He puts his hands on his hips, slowly wrapping his arms around his waist. “Not tonight though, we’re building up to that one. And not that hideous colour.”
“As long as it’s not the smurf penis.”
“God, no.” Harry makes a face. “We need to discontinue that one.”
“Definitely.”
Harry kisses him, not caring that he’s still damp or that he’s not finished shaving.
“Can we at least start building tonight?” asks Merlin when they break off the kiss. “I have already made… other preparations.”
“Oh.”
“Mhm.”
“Finish shaving and come meet me on the bed, then.”
Merlin leans in and kisses him again. The long, drawn out kind, with one of his hands on the back of Harry’s neck. The kind that, after all these years, still makes Harry weak in the knees.
“Shave fast,” murmurs Harry against his lips. “Or I’ll start without you.”
“Then get out of my face.”
Harry gives him one last peck on the lips, slowly stepping away from him and leaves the en suite. He takes the lime green dildo off the bed and puts it in the drawer with their other toys. There’s a surge in stomach and he smiles.
This is going to be a great adventure.
It takes four months (and only one instance of Harry yelling “No, it’s my turn to get fucked tonight!”) before they are both comfortable taking the lime green dildo out again. Whatever Harry’s initial qualms about the it was, it’s hard to pick another one when the colour has become shorthand for them about what’s to come, dropping it into casual conversation just because they can.
Merlin stands stark naked at the foot of their bed, weighing the dildo in his hand with a frown.
Harry, sitting on the bed, still in his trousers and shirt, smiles at the sight. “Isn’t this a Kodak moment.”
“God, you’re old,” says Merlin, handing the dildo over. “And please take at least your shirt off.”
Harry grins. He places the dildo on the bed and gets up. Keeping his clothes on was mostly for Harry to help keep his head where it is supposed to be, but if Merlin wants his shirt off, then he has no trouble removing it. He starts to unbutton his shirt, but even before he’s half done, Merlin steps in to help him. A bit eager, a bit impatient.
“You’re nervous,” says Harry.
Merlin meets his eyes. “But not worried.”
Harry kisses him as Merlin pushes the shirt off his shoulders. He’s nervous too, he won’t deny it, but mostly he’s excited. Going by how Merlin responds to the kiss, so is he.
“Ready?” Harry murmurs, tracing Merlin’s spine down towards his arse with his fingertips.
Merlin nods. “Yes.”
“Then get on the bed.”
Merlin does as he’s told. He positions himself on all four, resting on his forearms and with his arse in the air. Harry looks at him. This is the Kodak moment.
He gets up on his knees behind Merlin. He caresses his arse with one hand, moving it up along the back, feeling the goosebumps on Merlin’s skin… Then he reaches for the lube and coats two of his fingers with it.
“Talk to me.” he reminds Merlin, as he spreads his butt cheeks and slowly pushes in one finger.
Merlin inhales. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Arse.”
“Yours or mine?”
Harry chuckles. “Second finger.”
Normally when Harry tops, this isn’t the position they are in. Usually, he can see Merlin’s face which makes the world of difference. That’s almost been the hardest part for Harry in this so far.
“You’re doing great,” he says, reaching for the lube. “Ready for a third?”
“Starting to get pretty hard.”
“That a yes?”
“Aye.”
Harry pushes in and a small shudder goes through Merlin’s body. Harry is getting hard too, his cock straining against his pants. It would be a lie to say that he hasn’t thought about this, getting to try the Wizard’s Dick on Merlin even before this, seeing the huge dildo disappear between those perfect cheeks… Never when he’s fantasised about it has there been this much preparation, but he knows the difference between a fantasy and what it actually takes to do this and he won’t risk Merlin’s health or comfort for anything.
Not to mention that there is another kind of hotness in getting to slide yet another finger in to the knuckles and he won’t trade that for the world.
“Still alright?” he asks, his free hand resting on the small of Merlin’s back.
Merlin nods.
“Talk to me,” Harry patiently repeats again. “Is it still alright?”
“Yes.”
It sounds strained, coming out on a puff of breath being kept too long. Harry pauses, he keeps his hand still for a moment, stroking Merlin’s back with the other. When he feels the muscle around his fingers relax ever so slightly he moves. It makes Merlin tense up again.
“Breathe,” Harry tells him.
“I’m breathing!”
“Breathe.”
“Fucking Hell…”
“Breathe. There you are. You’re doing so well, I’m so proud of you. Just a little more...”
“Mm.”
Harry finally pulls out his hand and he can feel Merlin relax under the other one. He smiles. Merlin’s really a champion.
He fills his hand with new lube, using two fingers to apply it on Merlin and then he makes sure to coat the lime green dildo as well. He leans forward a little and moves around so that he reaches to give Merlin a proper kiss.
“Ready?” he asks.
“Yes,” says Merlin with a sly smile. His cheeks are flushed red already from the warm up and there’s sweat on his forehead. Harry smiles back at him and gives him another kiss.
“Promise to say stop if you need to.”
“Just get on with it.”
“Promise.”
Merlin smiles again. “I promise.”
Harry moves back in position, he puts his left hand on the small of Merlin’s back again. Then so very, very slowly he starts to insert the dildo. It’s not many millimetres before he feels Merlin tens up. He stops immediately.
“No, it’s fine,” Merlin says, grunts. Harry holds perfectly still as Merlin breathes a few deep breaths.
“Okay, go on,” he says and Harry obeys. It takes two more stops before Merlin finds a good breathing rhythm, yet a third in he says, “Stop. I… stop.”
“Shall I pull out?” Harry asks.
Merlin nods and Harry doesn’t bother asking for a verbal instruction this time. Just as slowly as he has put it in, he now pulls the dildo out, with small encouraging words about breathing to help it. When it’s all out, Merlin slumps forward with a deep sigh. Harry puts the dildo on the bed and wipes his hand on a baby wipe as he moves to the upper side of the bed again. He strokes Merlin’s neck and shoulder, lying down next to him and pulls him close.
“How are you?” he asks.
Merlin looks up at him. “In awe of what it is you do.”
Harry chuckles. “Thanks, but how are you feeling?”
“Don’t know yet,” says Merlin, moving a little closer and resting his head against Harry’s chest. “But it’ll be fine.”
Harry kisses the top of his head. Then he pulls the covers over them, so that they can stay there for as long as they need.
“There,” says Harry quietly. “It’s in.”
Merlin is breathing heavily, his chin against his chest as he’s standing on all fours, bracing himself with his forearms against the mattress. Harry strokes his lower back, waiting for a cue. The Wizard’s Dick XL has disappeared into Merlin and seeing it go in is about the hottest things Harry has ever seen. His own cock is aching to be touched, but there is absolutely not the time for that right now.
“Okay,” Merlin finally says. “I’m ready. Move it.”
And Harry does. Slowly he pulls the dildo out a few centimetres, Merlin’s breath hitches. Harry moves it back in again. And out. And in.
Merlin gasps.
“A little faster,” he begs.
“You sure?”
Merlin nods.
“I need you to say it.”
“Yes!”
Harry picks up the speed and moves his hand down to Merlin’s hip for some support. The sight of the lime green dildo going in and out of Merlin is beautiful. And then combined with the sounds Merlin is making. Harry’s fingers dig into Merlin’s hip.
“Oh, God,” Merlin moans. “God. Fuck! Harry.”
“You’re fucking amazing. You’re doing so well. It’s bloody beautiful, you should see it.”
“Wait, I need I need I…”
Harry stops right away. “What’s wrong? What’s happening?”
“Nothing, I just…” Merlin is barely coherent, but moves his left arm so that he can rest his forehead against it and lifts his right arm off the bed. He reaches back and grabs his cock. “Need to. Both. Go.”
Harry smiles. He reaches for the lube with the hand not holding the dildo, and then reaches around to grab Merlin’s cock with him for a few good strokes before he takes hold of his hip again and starts moving the dildo. He matches the speed Merlin has on his cock.
Merlin’s moans and grunts become less words and more sound for every time Harry pushes in. Harry’s arm starts to cramp up, his cock leaking through his pants, but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t power through. He keeps good hold of Merlin’s hip, whispering words of encouragement he’s not sure Merlin hears anymore. And when Merlin comes, spattering all over the sheets, it’s with a sob stuck in his throat. Harry stills. He moves his hand from Merlin’s hip to his back, stroking him gently as Merlin takes the hand from his cock to support himself from not falling over.
Merlin sobs again, properly this time, and lets go of a trembling breath.
“You’re so good,” says Harry quietly. “So good. I’m going to take it out now. Is that alright?”
Merlin nods. “Yes,” he mumbles.
“Breathe for me,” Harry says when he slowly pulls out the dildo. Almost as soon as it’s out, Merlin sags and tips over to one side. Harry looks tenderly at him as he puts away the dildo. Then he lays down behind Merlin and wraps his arms around him. He kisses his neck, searching for Merlin’s hands.
“That was beautiful,” he murmurs against Merlin’s sweaty skin. “How do you feel?”
Merlin turns on his back so he can look at Harry and laughs softly. “Ask me tomorrow… Bloody Hell.”
“Understand what the fuss is about now?”
“Aye, I… I…” He lets out another small laugh, closing his eyes. “Fuck words are hard. Give me a moment…”
Harry kisses him. “Take as many as you need. I have enough to last me a lifetime of shower wanking now.”
“Or you can not do it in the shower and let me watch.”
Harry grins and starts to unbutton his trousers. He can do one more thing for Merlin tonight...