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Contrary to what anyone thought, the 'downfall' of the lone Shimura and the Sarutobi heir's friendship didn't start of with a prank. Rather, it started with a friend's honest concern and really shitty decision-making skills. It was too bad Hiruzen, for all his strengths, skills, charisma and heart, can be quite an idiot sometimes.
A few days after Daizu announced the Matriarch Shiroki's death to all official (and non-official) Hatake, Danzo decided to make a change. (He actually and finally succumbed to Nasu's weaponized puppy-pout begging on their knees and—ahem—no one else needs to know anything more about that.)
The shinobi forwent with the usual dark shinobi garb and started wearing more traditional robes, ones depicting seasonal color combinations and designs that Shiroki would have approved of.
It was so unlike him Hiruzen had been convinced his best friend had been placed under a genjutsu. So the Sarutobi heir stalked (pestered) his friend for days.
(And this is why Kagami would have made a better best friend for him. The sad thing is, the Uchiha is occasionally too lucky to be made a scapegoat. And besides, Shoga had already claimed him as his second choice of partner-in-crime after his cousin Shinsui.)
And when attempts of dispelling the 'genjutsu' failed, Hiruzen thought Danzo had been replaced or possessed by misaki or worse.
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Danzo did not know how the Sarutobi heir managed to find Onmyōji willing to interact with shinobi and enter a Hidden Shinobi village, much less smuggle them into his house, but he did not find being knocked unconscious, tied up and exorcised to within an inch of his life funny at all.
Not to mention, the sight of Onmyōji heading toward the Shimura Residence in full regalia had done wonders to Danzo's already morally dubious (even by shinobi standards) reputation. He was never going to forgive Hiruzen for that stunt.
(They were all also twice blessed that Nasu had not stayed over there that day, or body parts would have started flying, and not in the good way. Everything Nasu does they excel at: sparring, killing, intelligent conversation, etc., but the Hatake can be a bit...testy sometimes.)
Sadly, Hiruzen is still his best friend and that is why Danzo had been willing to just put the entire embarrassing thing behind and 'forget' about it. (He is so going to write it down in his diary.)
And apparently, said best friend didn't agree to let things lie either.
#
Nasu had just re-clothed and draped themselves over an equally exhausted Danzo when Kagami and Torifu somehow broke through the walls (while playing some weird game of chase involving some grappling and shoving). Which meant that the oafs (or Kagami, at least) must have been using their chakra to reinforce their physical strengths.
It was the first time the two lovers were caught in their relationship, and by team Madara no less.
Torifu Akimichi had made a joke about their teammate "finally getting some" to Kagami's initial confusion and his embarrassment. The fact that Torifu's occasional ration stashing 'invasions' were the only reason Danzo managed to more or less survive after barricading himself in his sealed panic room during the Exorcism Incident was the only thing stopping him from jumping his friend. And so Torifu was spared.
Kagami, however, was not, and it took a threat of getting dunked in a Koi pond for him to sing like a bird, brandishing a letter like it was a shield: "But it wasn't our fault. Your best friend—"
"So he's my best friend when he pulls off stuff like this?" Danzo said accusingly.
"Um..." The Uchiha backpedaled and continued,"...He made us bring this as an apology gift! He made it sound like the state of your friendship was on the rocks and that it was a matter of life and death."
And so Danzo opened the letter and took a peek. He then went pale, then flushed red and started shaking, going through shock, embarrassment, disgust, and a little hurt and betrayal.
Kagami and Torifu looked at their teammate in concern.
"It's Lady Yumi Masabuchi, one of the Fire Daimyo's cousins many times removed," Danzo finally forced out in distaste. "She wants me to escort her niece...Ranji", he shuddered, "and her entourage to a relative's wedding in Kuso."
"She's that spoiled woman who won't stop coming onto and touching you, the one who tried to drug and make off with you, wasn't she?"
"Yes," he gritted. "How lucky that things didn't work the way it should have because I was allergic."
Instead of being knocked out cold and under her mercy, he spent the week sneezing, vomiting and in pain while the lady was (thankfully) kept away in fear of contracting whatever 'malady' had befell him.
"Since Hiruzen had never seen a girl so interested in me, he probably thought it was...romantic." Torifu mock-gagged beside Kagami, who swatted him. "The big problem is, Ranji and Biwako are nothing alike."
"Hhn."
Nasu, who had been looking over his shoulder, blinked slowly, narrowed their eyes, and became eerily quiet. (Kagami squeaked in the background, suddenly remembering the Daikon-and-Carrot-Maggots-Almost-Crawling-Up-His-Nose Incident that happened after the last time Nasu reacted like that, so he took his Akimichi teammate and bailed. Which left the two lovers to stew in growing violent intent.)
Danzo had been on the fence on what to do about his best friend, but now...Hiruzen is not going to die. He is going to suffer.
Nasu anchored their partner with a tight grip, lest he jump off the rails, and brightened up as the beginnings of a plan made itself known. Yosa is going to enjoy assisting them in this.
(The next month the entire Sarutobi clan woke up covered with fleas.)