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“What do you think he’s like?” Tony said, watching as Bruce got dressed. Bruce was meeting his twin brother for the first time today.
Bruce shrugged. “Fucked up in the head, probably. Genetics and all.”
“He’s probably super smart,” Tony said.
“Probably resents his own intelligence,” Bruce muttered, buttoning up his shirt.
“You look good,” Tony said, still lying in their bed. “Anyone would be honored to have someone so hot and sexy as a twin.”
Bruce had to smile a little. “Yes, Tony. That’s the purpose of our meeting. We each want to make sure our identical twin is hot.”
“If I had an identical twin, he’d be super hot. Like so sexy you wouldn’t be able to resist him. I’d be totally jealous of you and my evil twin. Though you would look really good together. Oh! Now that you mention it, I really wish I could meet Mirror ‘verse me. I mean like in Star Trek, where they meet their opposite halves, and they’re all like drunk on power and mad with lust.”
“Yeah, I remember those eps. But Tony?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m pretty sure you’re already your Mirror ‘verse personality.”
Tony grinned. “And proud of it.”
Bruce laughed. “Of course you are.”
--
“So. Good to meet you.” Dylan eyed Bruce warily.
“Me too,” Bruce said.
“So I hear you’re a scientist? Is that what you do for SHIELD?”
“Not exactly. I hear you’re a magician?” Bruce said.
“I am. Most people don’t believe magic is real.”
“I believe that all magic has an underlying scientific explanation,” Bruce said. “But I’ve seen alien magic, and it may be scientifically explainable, but it’s definitely real.”
Dylan smiled a little. “Okay. So, I take it they brought me here so you could talk me into trusting SHIELD.”
“No. I don’t trust SHIELD as far as I can throw them,” Bruce said, and Dylan smiled wider.
“Bruce,” Maria said, rubbing her forehead as she watched them from the other side of the room.
“I take it she’s here to make sure I don’t hurt you or something?” Dylan asked.
“She’s here to get you out in case something happens,” Bruce said.
“I can take care of myself,” Dylan said, eyebrow raised, and it was strange for Bruce to see such a cocky smirk on his own face.
Bruce just nodded.
--
“So here’s the thing about science,” Bruce said. He and Dylan were on a corner in Los Angeles, staring up at several large robot dinosaurs.
“I don’t think now is the time for a science lesson,” Dylan said, looking up at the beasts with a furrowed brow. “I mean I always liked science class, but I think now’s the time for some magical defense.” He put up a hand and looked like he was concentrating.
“Just listen. Sometimes science works out different from how you want it to. So I’m about to change. Don’t act scared, or it’ll make it worse, okay?” Bruce said urgently.
“I don’t scare that eas--” Dylan’s eyes widened as Bruce turned green and grew, bursting out of his clothes.
Hulk stared down at him then.
Dylan paused, then nodded. He smiled just a little. “Okay. I admit it. I’m impressed.”
Hulk tilted his head, seeming confused, then let out a little grunt of acknowledgment. Soon, though, Hulk was jumping onto the robots, bringing them to the ground in pieces.
There were dozens of robots, and Hulk fought them off. A few of them collapsed when Dylan cast some kind of spell, and when one of the robots caught Hulk’s shoulder, clamping down with metal teeth, Dylan cast a spell to turn the teeth into water, freeing Hulk so he could crush the offending dino robot.
After, Hulk leaned down to get a closer look at Dylan.
“BANNER BROTHER?” he asked.
“Yeah. Just found out,” Dylan said. He remembered what Bruce told him about not acting scared, even though it was rather… intense to have the Hulk stare down at him so closely.
“GOOD,” Hulk said, then sauntered off.
Dylan took a deep breath.
--
“Ugghhhh,” Bruce said, waking up in the dirt.
“Hey, sweetie.” Tony was smiling so brightly it made Bruce want to throw up.
Tony wrapped a blanket around him and gave him a smoothie.
“Really? A smoothi—okay, this is actually really good,” Bruce said, wearily standing up.
“I made it for you using my special blend of spinach, kale, quinoa, and blueberries. Then JARVIS said that you wouldn’t like it, something about it being 'disgusting,' you know how JARVIS is, nag, nag, nag, so I got you something with strawberries, yogurt, and a ton of sugar at the Bubble Tea place.”
“Much better choice.”
“Your clothes are in the car. But, you know, if you’d rather us both be naked….”
Bruce smiled. “Thanks, Tony, but you know I’m too tired.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Tony mock-complained.
“How’d you find me?”
“Watched the fight on satellite. Your bro’s pretty good, by the way. I see why SHIELD wants him.”
“I’m not sure how I feel about it.”
“Him? Or SHIELD having him?”
“…Both. I mean, I like him. But SHIELD doesn’t exactly recruit well adjusted people.”
“I resent that statement.”
“You’re proof of that statement,” Bruce said with a smile as he got in the car and grabbed the bag of clothes.
“Yeah, anyway, new subject. I hacked into Dylan’s SHIELD file.”
“And?”
“Anger issues.” Tony looked pointedly at Bruce, as if he just found out that both Bruce and Dylan were tennis fans or liked baking cakes.
“Shut up.”
“And daddy issues.”
“Tony.”
“Intelligence off the charts. Special abilities and powers. Very protective of those on his team. Very clever in evading his enemies.”
“I get your point, Tony.”
“What point?”
“I’ll talk to him more, okay?”
“Oh. I thought my point was, I am totally on board if you want to have a twin threesome.”
“That is never, ever happening Tony.”
“Or you could do twin pranks. Like that thing that twins do, where one twin sleeps with the other twin’s boyfriend to see if he notices the difference.”
“Only sociopaths would think that’s a prank. And it’s not happening.” He finished dressing and was putting on his shoes.
“Okay, fine. Be that way. I’m starting to think that all those pornos I watched about twins weren’t telling the truth at all.”
Bruce rolled his eyes and laughed. “Tony. I know what you’re trying to do.”
“Fine. But seriously, Bruce. Being an only child sucks,” Tony said, serious now. “Don’t make him be one if you don’t have to.”
Bruce leaned against him a little. “Yeah.”
“The Other Guy likes him,” Tony added.
“The Other Guy liked you at first too, and you turned out to be a complete pain in the ass.”
“You’re lucky I know that’s your way of saying thanks for the awesome smoothie.”
Bruce smiled, then looked out the window.
“Hey, Tony?”
“Yeah?”
“… I’m glad you’re here. And thanks for the smoothie.”
Tony beamed and snuggled closer.