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“This is a nice change of scenery, hyung”
“It’s a prison cell, Tae”
“I was being sarcastic.” He pouts. He crosses his arms across his chest and stares at this dream’s version of his Yoongi-hyung. This version of his hyung has a starring role in his dreams far too often, with the scenery always being different, the area around them dungy and gritty this time.
“So, how did you end up here?” Tae asks, he knows he may never get an answer, but he asks every time he finds himself in a new place.
“I don’t know this time, Tae-ah.”
Tae-ah. This version of his hyung was quick to latch on to giving Tae nicknames. It’s always “Tae” or “Tae-ah”, never his full name. He has always wondered why, but never cared enough to bring the topic up.
“Seems like you never know how you get into these situations, hyung. Are you sure you aren’t some kind of prolific gang member or something?”
This hyung laughs. Deep, throaty laughs that cause Tae to swallow nervously, either out of fear or want, he hasn’t quite pinned it down.
“ I’d think I’d know if I were some type of….gang member. Pretty sure there’s like an initiation process or something for those, right?” Yoongi sits back against the wall, head tossed back as he closes his eyes. There’s a cut on his left cheek, his lip is swollen, and his knuckles that are gripping the seat of the bench he sits on have bruised as well. Tae ponders how his hyung could have gotten into this mess. He figures since this is his dream, he should know something, right? Wrong. He knows about as much as his hyung does.
“V, Agust, you’re being freed, look alive.” His hyung lowers his head back down, moves his hands into his lap, feigning disinterest.
Tae is entranced. The fast shift of the tough air he puts on almost leaving him with whiplash.
“Why is it I always find you two in some type of trouble?” This version of Jimin asks.
Tae schools his face into a look of disinterest, his eyes latching on to this dream’s version of Jimin. He’s a little rougher around the edges in this dream. He ponders why this dream seems too vivid, but doesnt pay it any mind as he knows he’ll be gone soon.
“Blame hyung, Jimin-ah. He’s always the reason we get caught.” He finds himself speaking before he knows what he’s saying. He can feel himself slipping from consciousness, unresolved hurt and anger courses through his chest before he feels himself fade away, leaving the dream exactly as he always does.
The next night he finds himself in what appears to be a palace, his favorite hyung dressed in a black and gold hanbok, blonde hair to his waist, and a scar gracing his right eye. This version of his hyung is new. He’s never been here before, doesn’t know what he’s called, yet.
“What’s the matter, Kim? Scared?” Tae’s body reacts before he can process what was said. He feels himself lunge towards Yoongi, his hands around his throat.
“Scared of who, Min? You?” He scoffs. Tae doesn’t seem to have control over his body in this dream. He can feel Yoongi’s hands gripping his wrists, pulling them down. He watches as he lowers his hands to Yoongi’s waist and pulls him until they’re flush against each other.
“Always knew you wanted me, Kim. Take it, if you think you can.” Tae’s screaming internally, his heart racing through his chest.
The Yoongi in this dream quickly pulls away and draws his sword. He points it at Tae and raises an eyebrow in challenge. Before Tae realizes it, this version of himself has drawn his sword, and the two have locked themselves in a battle. Swords clanging together, echoing throughout the hall, near misses ripping the threads of their clothes, but not breaking skin. He seems to have the upper hand, he disarms Yoongi and moves in for the kill. Tae is too caught up in the fight to realize it’s not real that he starts fighting to have control, trying to save his hyung from himself. Tae drops his sword and clutches his head.
“Tae-ah, are you alright?” Tae can feel himself shake his head.
“Something’s wrong, Min. It’s like my head is trying to rip itself in two.” The harder his dream self clutches his head, the more Tae can feel himself slip from this dream, like he’s being forced out. This is something he’s never felt, he’s never been forced out of a dream before.
He wakes with a jolt, chest heaving, pulse racing, and thoughts of that embrace with his hyung. He tries to keep his want to return to that dream to a simmer, knowing he’ll be thinking about it for the rest of the day.
His thoughts of that embrace must have spurred his next dream on a week later. He finds himself in his hyungs apartment, eerily similar to what it looks like now, but he can see some of his things lying around. His tiny hyung is laying on the couch just existing, and he can’t breathe. The sunlight streams in from the window and bathes the room in its hazy glow. This is a new version too, too close to the real thing that he can feel himself break a little. Yoongi hears him shuffling where he stands in the doorway.
“Taehyungie, there you are. Did you get ice cream?” Yoongi sits up on his elbows and beams his favorite gummy smile. Tae glances down to the weight in his hand and see’s a bag with ice cream in it.
“Uh...yeah, hyung. I got it. Where’s everyone else?” Tae’s confused. Surely the reason he’s at his hyungs house is that they’re all there to hang out.
“Everyone else? I don’t know Tae, we’re on vacation remember? Did you hit your head or something when you went out?” Yoongi giggles at the confused look on Tae’s face and moves towards him to grab the ice cream.
“Go sit, Tae-ah. I’ll make dinner and then we can watch Howl’s Castle or something.” Tae moves in slow motion to go sit on the couch, scanning the room for anything that might give him a clue as to what this dream means.
Across the room, right above the TV is a canvas of a photo of the two of them. They’re in suits. Tae can feel something slamming into the back of his eyes, a thought or memory trying to fight its way to the forefront of his brain. He closes his eyes, lowers his head to his hands, and tries to breathe. This longing feeling coursing through his veins is nothing new, but this warmth in his chest combats it as if its trying to tell him something.
He’s so wrapped up in his thoughts that when two arms drape themselves over his back, he startles.
“Tae-ah, what’s wrong? Did something happen while you were out?” Yoongi’s soft voice sounds worried. His chin rests on Tae’s shoulder and another feeling of warmth crashes over him. He grabs on to his hyungs hands, and feels the longing start to fade.
“I’m alright hyung. I think I’m just tired.” Yoongi nods, sweeps his hands over Tae’s shoulders, and begins to knead the muscles there.
“You have been working hard. Come into the kitchen, dinner is ready.” Yoongi offers his hand to Tae, and pulls him up and into the kitchen, all of his favorite dishes spread out on the table.
“Hyung, what?” Tae’s breathless as Yoongi wraps his arms around his waist and buries his face in Tae’s neck. His breath ghosting across his collarbones.
“It’s our anniversary, Tae-ah. Did you forget? Tae, I’m starting to get worried, are you sure you’re just tired?” Tae nods and before he can realize, his arms have wrapped themselves around Yoongi and he’s pressing a kiss to his temple. He can feel himself slipping out of the dream. The longing starts to creep its way back into his veins as he’s pulled back into the dark of sleep.
The next night, He’s back to where his favorite version of his hyung resides, only this time he’s not with him. He searches around, only finding Jin and Namjoon. They’re talking but he can’t seem to focus.
“I’ve been trying to find him all morning. I cant get a hold of him at all.”
“I’ve tried to call Yoongi too, no such luck.”
“I’ve seen Yoongi!” He chirps.
“You have! Why didn’t you say anything hours ago, Tae?”
“Oh! It’s cause I only see him in my dreams, hyung. Have you tried to get a hold of Jimin? He usually always finds hyung and me in these dreams.” He beams a box-shaped smile at them.
“Now isn’t the time for your games, Tae. Yoongi is currently missing, Jimin’s in the hospital, and Kook….” Jin lets his words linger, Tae feels a phantom pain in his chest.
“Sorry, hyungs. Just trying to lighten the mood.” He drops his smile, feeling properly chastised and ashamed of acting out. Tae stops, these aren’t his feelings. This is a dream, how could he possibly feel chastised at making a joke about it being a dream?
He’s glancing around, and things start to look less and less familiar. He feels his chest get tight with panic.
A hand clamps down on his shoulder, “Don’t worry Tae, we’ll find him.” He can feel his chest ease some. The warmth and comfort Joon’s hand brings him helps ground him.
“Hyung is usually bouncing between hotels. Maybe we check the ones in this area?”
“Great idea, Joon. We’ll just split up and search the 15 hotels in this area!” Jin is fuming, his words spiking with fear and anger.
“Alright, hyung. Try and calm down. We can find him. I’m sure of it.” Tae nods. He’d personally comb the entire universe if it meant finding his hyung.
Jin’s phone chirps in his hand, causing the three to cast their eyes downward. It’s a call from Jungkook. Jin looks elated, Joon’s body sags in relief. That pain in his chest is suddenly less tight. Tae is starting to dislike this dream, starting to wonder where his favorite hyung is in the real world. He’s starting to wonder why he’s feeling so many emotions that aren’t making sense. He’s starting to lose focus on the fact that this is just a dream.
His world tilts. Memories of this dream start scrolling through his brain faster than he can keep up. Memories of a fight with someone, memories of blood staining his hands, memories of a scream from his sister. Blue and red lights flash behind his eyes, his body screams for him to remember. More flashes of a memory forgotten. A broken bottle, arguing, and then...silence.
He stumbles on his feet, reaches out to grab something. He latches on to a hand, an arm braces itself around his waist.
“You okay, Kim?” Tae looks up and its King Min, the blonde hair striking against his robes. Memories fight their way through again. Sword fights, battles of nations, arranged marriages…love. He tilts his head back and stares at Yoongi, eyes watering up. He’s beginning to understand now.
A swirl in his stomach has him doubling over, and before he can reach the ground, he’s back in Yoongi’s apartment. His hyung clutching him tightly to his chest.
“I knew you were sick, Tae-ah. Why didn’t you say anything sooner! Let’s get you to bed.” A flash of gold catches his eyes as he raises his hand to grab onto Yoongi. Matching bands, a proposal, a wedding. He sobs as he’s battered with images of their life together, of their love blossoming until it’s peak. A whispered “I love you” in a back hall before a show, a kiss brushed against his forehead before falling asleep in his hyung’s arms.
He gets it now, he thinks. He hasn’t been dreaming all these nights. He’s been visiting their past lifetimes together, as if his heart and soul are trying to show him who they belong to. Who belongs to them. As if the universe is screaming for him to wake up!
He jolts awake. Sweat clinging to his skin, chest heaving with his desperate need for air. A cool hand rests against his cheek, and it has him wrenching his eyes open.
“Tae, I heard you screaming from down the hall, are you alright?”
“Hyung....do you know me?” Yoongi tosses him a bewildered stare.
“Of course I know you, Tae. Are you running a fever?” He presses his hand to Tae’s forehead and frowns.
“You don’t feel warm. What’s wrong?” Tae clutches his blanket tighter to his chest, his heart trying to beat its way out.
“I’ve been having so many dreams lately, hyung. Dreams of you…” he trails off. His moment of clarity from the dreams starting to slip through his fingers.
“Dreams of me, huh?” Yoongi fights to keep the smirk off of his face, but fails at the last moment.
“Don’t make fun of me hyung. I’m trying to remember what they were about. You were some type of King, I think....and at some other point you were some type of prolific gangster...HYUNG! Don’t laugh!” He whines into the olders shoulder as he’s scooped up into Yoongi’s arms.
“Calm down, Tae. It’s okay. I’m not laughing at you. I’m only laughing that it took you this long to figure it out.” Tae glances up at him, confused.
“Figure what out, hyung?” Tae see’s as his hyung’s smile starts to fall.
“Don’t you know, Taehyungie? That you’re mine, and I’m yours? That we’ve found each other through endless lifetimes, always when we need the other the most…” Tae can feel his heart stop in his chest. He’d be more worried if he wasn’t still breathing.
“You’re mine, hyung?” Tae can’t wrap his head around it. Endless lifetimes with Yoongi. So his dreams weren’t dreams, but memories? No, that can’t be right, Yoongi has to be messing with him.
“Cut it out, hyung. This isn’t funny. I don’t want to be made fun of this way.” He starts to draw in on himself.
“Tae-ah. I’m not joking. You’ve been mine your entire existence. Our souls have been bound the moment yours was made. I wandered this plane of existence years before you arrived, and the moment you showed up, I knew. My soul has been tied to yours for so long. You usually don’t take this long to figure it out though….do you not wish to be mine any more?” Yoongi pouts. Tae quickly sits up and pulls Yoongi into his arms, cradling his tiny hyung against his chest.
“That’s not it at all, hyung. I just can’t believe you called me yours. That we’ve spent endless lifetimes together, and I never seem to know. How do you always know, hyung?” Yoongi sighs, and clutches him tighter.
“That’s our curse, Tae. One of the souls knows every time, and has to wait for the other to find out. Since I was born first, they chose me. The universe has a cruel way of bringing together those who are soul bound.” Yoongi sounds much older than this present form. He sounds ages older than Tae could ever fathom.
“I’m sorry I took so long, hyung.” Yoongi shifts against Tae, A sigh escaping his lips.
“It’s not your fault, Taehyung-ah. I fear the more times we meet, the longer it will take you to realize. I hope we never see the day that you don’t.” Tae squeezes Yoongi to him.
“I know that day will never come. Promise me that if I start to take too long that you’ll do something, hyung. Don’t just leave me to my own devices. We know how that can go wrong quickly.” Tae feels Yoongi’s shoulders shake in a silent chuckle.
“I do have one quesiton though, hyung.” Yoongi leans his head back to stare at the younger.
“What’s that?” Tae beams his box-shaped grin at him.
“What did you do to end up in that jail cell anyways?” Yoongi laughs.
“We were there because of you, actually.”
“No way, hyung. I remember you being the reason we got caught. I just don’t remember what we were doing in the first place.”
“Ah, well” Yoongi chuckles again. “You went out with Joon to let off some steam. We had argued over something trivial, lack of time spent together or something, and you left. I followed, of course.”
“Of course.” Tae smiles softly and rests his head on top of Yoongi’s, as he lays his head back on Tae’s chest, finding comfort in their embrace once more.
“You had gotten caught up in tagging some building that you didn’t see the camera’s on the other side of the alley. I chucked a brick into the music store across the road, setting the alarms off. I tried to give you as much time as I could for you to escape. You just never made it very far.” Yoongi has a softness to his voice now, something fond.
“I was sitting down at the piano, plucking away at the keys, and then there you were. You were pulling at my sleeve, shouting over the alarm that the cops were on the way. You were so angry at me. You demanded me to leave, but by then it was too late. We were caught and tossed in that cell. I’ve never seen you so mad before.” Tae linked their fingers together across his stomach.
“I’m sorry I was angry at you, hyung. I’m sure you probably had it coming, but I’m sorry nonetheless” that got a laugh out of Yoongi.
“To be honest, I don’t remember what our fight was about. I do remember that as soon as Jimin came to free us, you didn’t let me go anywhere alone. I remember feeling so much better knowing that wherever you went, I was allowed to follow.” The fond tone is back in Yoongi’s voice, and he cant help but want to kiss him, to taste that fondness for himself.
Tae tips his head to the side, and lifts Yoongi’s chin with his hand.
“I’ll follow you anywhere, Tae” and with those words, Yoongi shifted and pressed his lips to Tae’s. A soft weight against his lips, and Tae knew...he’d follow Yoongi anywhere, too.
He didn't tell his hyung about his dream of them being together in the future, he doubted that one was a memory, more of a wishful thinking, but he kept it close to his heart anyways.