Chapter Text
He was tired.
No, that wasn’t quite right. Saying it in such simple terms didn’t feel like it was enough to describe how utterly drained he was in that moment. The fatigue he felt was a physical weight, pushing down on every inch of his body as if gravity itself was acting against him.
His bout of crying had used up what little energy he’d had left, and now that he’d finally quieted to just the occasional hiccup all he could bring himself to do was bury his face further into Lion’s mane. He could hear everyone muttering to each other, discussing what they should do, but focusing on what they were saying took too much effort, so he sat there and willed the world to leave him alone for a little while longer.
But that was easier said than done. He was raw. Exposed. Even the cool ocean breeze left a line of fire across his face, and the salty air was like glass against his swollen eyes and nose. The inside of his head had been scraped empty, hollowed out by his own desperately grasping claws, and a dull ache throbbed in his chest with each breath. He’d dug his hands into Lion’s fur, which was why he was still mostly upright instead of limp on the ground, but his fingers were completely numb.
Someone rested a hand on his shoulder. They were gentle, but despite the layer of blanket shielding him it still burned as they put pressure on his oversensitive skin. He imagined that this must be how cattle felt when they were branded. The hand gave a small squeeze, and whoever it belonged to was apparently trying to speak to him, though their voice sounded like it was being filtered through cotton balls.
His neck muscles protested angrily when he tried to lift his head up, so he only managed to uncover a single bleary eye. He had to squint against the painful sunlight as he peered at the crowd surrounding him. The details of the speaker’s face were blurry, but he was still able to recognize the familiar silhouette of his dad.
Greg’s mouth curved into a soft smile. “Hey bud, are you finally with us?” He reached with his other hand to brush a loose hair from his son’s forehead.
Steven couldn’t muster up the energy to speak, so he gave a weak nod.
“That’s good.” Greg spoke slowly and kept his movements gradual, deliberate, like he was interacting with a frightened animal rather than a teenager. “We need to get you back to the house so we can dry you off and get you something to wear. Do you think you can walk? Or do you want someone to carry you?”
Steven would have preferred to walk, but unfortunately that option was unlikely to pan out, since he couldn’t feel his legs. “I can’t move…” He managed to grit out. God he really was pitiful.
“That’s alright Schtu-ball. You just rest and let us take care of things for now, how does that sound?”
He nodded again mutely, too tired to do anything else. More conversation started up in the background, but he just let it wash over him without listening or joining in. He doubted he could so much as look at the Diamonds right now, let alone speak with them directly.
It wasn’t long before a decision must have been made, because the voices died down and Lion started to shift against him. His dad’s touch left his shoulder, but it was replaced by a pair of hands that carefully gripped his arms and steadied him.
He could feel the smooth facets of Garnet’s gems through the fabric. “I’m going to pick you up and put you on Lion.” She told him. There wasn’t much he could do to stop her, so he didn’t protest as he was pulled away from his fuzzy refuge. She shifted her hold to beneath his armpits and lifted him effortlessly.
He was sure she’d tried to be as slow and gentle as possible, but she couldn’t prevent the intense wave of vertigo that hit him as soon as he was moved. He was quickly settled onto a warm, broad back, and he caught a glimpse of pink shoulder blades through watering eyes. Seconds later Garnet had climbed on behind him, arms circling him to keep him in place. She murmured words of comfort that swam around between his ears as he tried to catch his breath.
Someone else grabbed his wrist. “Don’t worry Steven, we’ll be right behind you.” Their voice was too tinny to figure out who they were, or maybe somebody had stuck a pair of tin cans over his ears. He was afraid to look up and check in case it made his dizziness worse.
“No portals.” Garnet instructed from behind him. Lion chuffed in agreement, and then the only warning he had was the bunching of chorded muscles beneath them before they were leaping through the air. Taking a portal back to the house wouldn’t have been any more pleasant, and it probably would have been overwhelming with all the light and noise, but he still hated how every bone in his body rattled when they landed on the surface of the ocean. All he could do was lean helplessly into Garnet as they sped over the water. He didn’t have enough strength to hold his head up against the rushing wind, but one of her arms lifted from his waist to press a palm to his forehead, cradling him against her chest. He let his eyelids fall closed once more as he got lost in the rhythmic movement of Lion running across the waves.
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He stayed aware enough to notice when they made it to land, if only just, but when Garnet slid him off of Lion’s back and scooped him into her arms things started to blur together. He saw flashes of sky, a battered stone face looming high above, broken glass in torn frames, and a familiar wooden ceiling that had somehow remained mostly in-tact. Thinking about what had caused the destruction, who had caused it, was painful.
He was placed down on a soft surface, probably the couch since they weren’t in his bedroom. He was facing away from the giant hole he’d made in the wall, and he wasn’t sure if he felt guilty about that, or relieved. Maybe a bit of both.
Once he was settled Garnet strode off without a word, her footsteps fading as she disappeared from his view. When a minute ticked slowly by and she still hadn’t come back, he found himself gripped by the sudden and painful realization that he was alone. He clawed weakly at the blanket wrapped around him, attempting to sit up, but after a few minutes spent gasping and fighting gravity he was forced to fall limply back onto the cushions. Fresh tears stung his eyes.
There was no reason to freak out just because Garnet had left for a little while. He didn’t understand why his hands were clammy and shaking, or why it had gotten so hard to breath past the lump in his throat. It’s not like this was his first time being on his own, not even close. He’d done just fine as a kid. He remembered spending hours, sometimes even days, sitting and waiting by himself for the gems to return or for his dad to drop by. Eventually someone, anyone, would come and spend time with him. He just had to be patient. The gems were doing important work after all, and saving the world took priority. It would be selfish of him to keep them away from their duties just because he was lonely. Things had changed since then anyway. He’d stopped being left behind once he proved himself useful. It was in the past. He should be fine.
He wasn’t.
He laid there and sobbed pathetically. He didn’t want to be alone.
Exhaustion inevitably crept across his limbs, settling over his eyelids like a cat on a windowsill. He wasn’t ready to fall asleep yet, not before Garnet got back, but maybe he could close his eyes for a brief moment? Just long enough to let them rest…
He blinked.
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Something thick and warm had been draped over his body. Garnet sat beside him and ran her fingers through his hair as she told him something he couldn’t quite hear, her voice low and soothing. She might have been singing.
He wanted to say something, maybe ask her not to leave again or apologize for freaking out, but he couldn’t bring himself to interrupt the song. It sounded like a lullaby.
He blinked.
---
When he opened his eyes again Garnet was gone.
At least he wasn’t alone this time, since he could hear voices coming from the kitchen. Pearl’s was the loudest, as polite as it was strident, but he could also make out Amethyst and Peridot cutting in occasionally. The buzzing tone of the Diamonds swelled in response from somewhere outside. They went back and forth, rising and falling, like rolling surf on the beach.
He was no longer naked beneath the blankets. He’d been dressed at some point in loose pants and a buttoned nightshirt, though he hadn’t been granted the privilege of underwear. When had that happened, and how had he not noticed?
Someone was holding his hand, stroking his knuckles. He couldn’t see who it was with how his body was positioned, so he tried to turn his head.
He blinked.
---
More voices greeted him as he woke. Had he been sleeping? It sounded like his dad and Connie were having some sort of argument. That couldn’t be right, but he didn’t know what else would explain the hushed exchange that was taking place somewhere he couldn’t see. He spotted Amethyst sitting by his feet with her back against the couch, tapping absently on one of his old Gameboys.
The conflict grew louder. The light from outside had darkened considerably, signaling the approach of dusk, but there was enough left to cast agitated shadows across the floor. He tried to figure out what the two humans were fighting about, but no matter how much he strained his ears he couldn’t seem to focus enough to hear them properly. He must have made a noise because amethyst turned to face him with a startled look. “Hey man, you’re awake! How’re you feeling?”
The other two had gone quiet when Amethyst spoke, but he knew they couldn’t have settled whatever was going on between them so quickly. He hated the thought of people he cared about arguing with each other. His vision spun as he struggled to raise his head, sit up, anything. Amethyst’s expression grew alarmed and she moved to push him back down, but he was determined to get vertical. He opened his mouth to say something and-
He blinked.
---
“… Yes, I know. I told them that, but they think it’s too dangerous… Yes… He’s been in and out of consciousness, and he has a bit of a fever. It might be exhaustion but… I dunno, something’s off… Ok, I’ll tell them. Thanks mom. See you soon.”
Connie’s thumb was rough with calluses but feather light as it brushed over the back of his hand. She lowered her phone to her lap with a sigh. His grip tightened instinctively, and she looked at him, her expression softening. Wasn’t there something he’d meant to tell her?
She was smiling at him for some reason he couldn’t fathom, and between one breath and the next she was leaning over him, nearly eclipsing his entire field of vision.
She smelled like sweat and sea salt. He was having trouble thinking straight. What was he supposed to tell her again?
Her body shifted closer, bracketing him with her arms, and he felt her lips press against the top of his head.
He felt it, but he couldn’t see it because he…
He blinked.
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Priyanka had always prided herself in being a reasonable parent. Sure, she’d made her share of mistakes in the past, but she’d been more than willing to listen and improve after Connie had opened up to her all those years ago. She knew logically she shouldn’t have given permission for Connie to continue training, after all, any parent worth their salt should prioritize their child’s safety over anything else. But she’d realized back then that Connie would be involving herself with Steven’s magical lifestyle whether her mother approved or not. Priyanka had given permission not because she thought it was a good idea, or because she wasn’t worried about the danger, but rather because her daughter was going to be running into that danger no matter what she did. The only thing she could do was encourage honesty. It was better if Connie felt like she could go to her parents when something went wrong, or if she needed anything. Forbidding her from doing something she wanted that badly would only result in her keeping it secret, and the last thing they wanted was for her to keep things from them when she needed help.
So, Priyanka had allowed it, but in exchange she’d insisted on some compromise. Regular medical check-ups were mandatory to keep an eye out for any injuries, and seeing a therapist was also a must. Therapy had been something they’d utilized when they’d first started moving around regularly, knowing that the instability would have negative effects on a child Connie’s age. She hadn’t needed it for long after arriving to Beach City, and in hindsight Steven’s influence in that area seemed apparent, but if she was going to be engaging in battle then continuing therapy was necessary. Connie had agreed easily, willing to do anything to ease her mother’s anxiety over what she was getting involved with. She’d also agreed to be more open and honest with what she was doing, and she had mostly stuck to that promise to Priyanka’s relief.
After Steven’s checkup a week ago there’d been a brief moment of worry over hidden problems and secrecy, but once everything was over Connie had told her about the proposal. The red-faced explanation certainly cleared up some confusion over what had gone down in the examination room. Recent experience indeed. Connie had jumped to Steven’s defense, explaining that he’d been having a hard time lately and wasn’t acting like himself, but Priyanka hadn’t felt any anger over the young boy’s actions. She’d learned long ago that he was a very impulsive and emotional person, and she’d seen with her own eyes that he was carrying a heavy burden on his shoulders. In all honesty she wasn’t opposed to the idea of him and Connie getting married, when they were older of course.
Yes, she considered herself a reasonable parent. Maybe it came from being a doctor, or maybe part of it was Doug’s influence balancing out her more stringent upbringing. Or maybe it was because she had a daughter like Connie, who was willing to challenge anything she saw as unjust or unfair. Whatever it was, Priyanka was currently having that reasonability challenged as she saw the carnage spread across the beach in front of her car.
An hour ago, her daughter had called and told her that something had happened to Steven.
“He was hysterical when we tried to confront him.” Connie had explained. “He’d been swelling up all day. At least, I think that’s what it was. He was taller than Garnet, and glowing pink. He started ranting about how he was a fraud and a monster, then he… He changed. He turned into something huge and- and covered in scales. He didn’t look like Steven anymore. I don’t think he knew what was happening. It took us a while to calm him down and get him to change back but… Mom he doesn’t look good.”
Priyanka had listened calmly over the phone as Connie described some of his symptoms. After asking a few follow-up questions she’d calmly told Connie that she would head over, hung up, then calmly grabbed her keys and started her car. She’d calmly drove all the way to Beach City, passing through streets filled with worried faces, and now she was calmly coming to a stop in front of Steven’s house. Her hands were clenched tightly to keep them from shaking, and she was gritting her teeth as she stepped out of the car, but she was calm. She had to be calm, because after what had just happened to Steven the last thing he needed right now was for her to come storming in with all the furious wrath of a mother with a medical degree.
Off in the distance an enormous ship was sitting in the sand. Three imposing figures stood next to it, watching her with detached curiosity. She’d only seen the Diamonds once, when they’d come to deal with the corrupted gems after peace had been established, and they’d certainly been intimidating back then. Now, however, they were a far cry from the imposing dictators they’d once been, with the way they were huddled together like scolded children. She had to stifle a snort. The amusement faded swiftly when she turned to the house and spotted Greg at the top of the stairs. By the time she made her way up to him she’d catalogued his appearance thoroughly, noting the dark circles under his eyes and the way his messy hair hung limply around his head. He looked like shit, to put it bluntly.
“Where is he?” She asked, tucking her medical bag under her arm. She was probably being a bit too curt with him, but she’d see if she felt like being more empathetic after finding out how Steven was doing.
He didn’t seem to hold it against her as he invited her inside, passing through the massive hole in the front wall. “He’s on the couch. We would have put him in his room but, well, his windows are broken at the moment. Since we wanted to be able to watch him anyway, we figured the couch would be good for now. Bismuth is going to work on a temporary fix for the door when she gets back, so he won’t be exposed to the elements for too long.” It wasn’t ideal, but the weather was warm during this time of year, so there wouldn’t be any immediate danger at least.
She was brought to where Steven was sleeping, his small form bundled up in a comforter and weighed down by the large head of a familiar pink lion. Connie was sitting with her back against the creature’s furry bulk, but she stood to greet her mother with a hug. The gems watched her entrance from the kitchen with worried frowns.
Priyanka could feel the stress and exhaustion in her daughter’s body, but at the moment there was a patient who needed her more, so she gave Connie one last squeeze before pulling back and turning to assess the boy on the couch. Lion gave a reluctant grumble but allowed himself to be ordered out of the way.
To say Steven looked awful was an understatement. He looked like he was just a few steps away from being a corpse, with pale skin, sunken eyes, and a furrowed brow even in sleep. She rested a hand on his forehead, feeling the same fever that Connie had described on the phone, then moved it to his shoulder and shook him gently. “Steven, I need you to wake up for me, if you can.” Examining him would be incredibly difficult otherwise.
He didn’t react at first, but after some more prodding he groaned and tossed his head, his eyes flickering open to squint at her in the low light of the living room. The light fixture that usually hung from the ceiling was nowhere to be seen. It had probably been destroyed at some point during Steven’s transformation, but luckily someone had provided a standing lamp next to the couch. She gave Steven a moment to adjust before she reached over and flicked it on. He hissed, raising an arm to cover his face, but she kept her grip on his shoulder to prevent him from turning away. “That’s it.” She said softly when he finally lowered his arm. “How are you feeling?”
He blinked at her in confusion. “Um, Dr. Maheswaran? What are you…?" His gaze wobbled around the room for a moment then skittered back to her. “Did, did something happen? Did I…?” He struggled to push himself into a sitting position. She let him. He would need to sit up eventually anyways.
She did try to ease his fears though. “I’m just here to check you over and make sure you’re okay after what happened to you. I need to perform a physical exam, like the one in the hospital, is that alright? We never got to finish properly last time.”
“Oh… Okay.” He nodded, staring blankly down at his knees as if unsure how they got so close while he wasn’t looking. “S- sorry about that…”
Her intention hadn’t been to guilt him by mentioning their past appointment, but if it convinced him to agree to an examination then she wasn’t going to complain. She placed her medical bag on the floor next to her and brought out some of her tools, setting them on a nearby shelf within easy reach, then helped Steven take his shirt off when his fingers proved too unsteady to unbutton it himself.
She’d been prepared to see some concerning stuff, but she still froze as she caught sight of his back.
From mid-neck to just above his tailbone was a ragged line of six scars, spaced equally apart and coloured a dark purple. She slid a hand down his spine, locating the C4, T1, T5, T9, L1, and L5 vertebrae under each mark, and as she searched the rest of the body she continued to spot more. The middle scars corresponding to the C4, T1, and T5 vertebrae were accompanied by an extra set of three on either side, where she’d missed them at first due to them being smaller and lighter than the central ones. There was a pair of twin marks on each of his arms, situated at the end of both elbows, as well as halfway down the medial side of both ulnas. Two more sat behind each of his eyes over the temporal bones, hidden along his hairline. And the final one, the smallest and palest, peeked out from the top of his forehead, nearly obscured by his curls.
During her administrations Steven had stiffened, twitching whenever she located a new scar. Once she was done, he twisted and tried to feel his back with his own fingers, stopping abruptly with a wince. She gently guided his hand to the back of his elbow so he could touch the mark there, and he rubbed it with a distant look in his eyes. Apparently, he hadn’t known about his new spots until now.
Priyanka glanced at Greg, who had moved to sit at the kitchen table with the gems. None of them seemed surprised. Anxious, but not surprised. She doubted that Steven had spent the day in his pajamas, or that any of his clothes could have survived him growing an extra hundred feet, which meant his guardians had probably seen the marks while dressing him. The wounds on his back were particularly vivid and impossible to miss.
Greg noticed her questioning look. “He, uh, he had these spikes down his back.” He gestured awkwardly at his own spine. “When he was, you know…” He cleared his throat and gestured to Pearl, who sat in the stool next to his. “Pearl mentioned that they might be like corruption scars?”
The gem fidgeted as the doctor’s attention moved to her, wringing her hands in her lap. “That’s just an educated guess of course. No one has ever corrupted like that before. We don’t even know if it really was corruption, though I can’t think of what else may have caused it.”
Priyanka considered that for a moment. “What exactly happened when he transformed?” There was an uncomfortable silence as the gems initiated a staring contest with the floor. Greg opened and shut his mouth like a stranded carp.
Connie stepped in to put them out of their misery. “He was bent over on his knees, holding his head, and shaking. Then some sort of mass of spikes exploded from his back. Part of it formed the tail, and that was when his body started growing.” She grabbed a handful of papers from one of the shelves. “We didn’t take any pictures, since we were a bit preoccupied, but Peridot drew what she could remember.”
Priyanka took the pictures and studied them. They were professionally done, with a front, back, and side view, and everything was efficiently labelled. The profile view displayed the dorsal spikes that she assumed had caused the worst of the scarring, and a close up shot of the head showed a wicked set of tusks, which had her planning to check his teeth and gums when she could get around to it. It was difficult to judge the size without a reference, but it still gave her a pretty good idea of what the transformation had looked like. She returned her gaze to Steven, who had curled in on himself with his arms hugged close to his body. He looked so young.
She touched his shoulder gently. “Alright, time to continue the examination.” He obeyed her directions in silence, avoiding her gaze as she continued to check him over. She let him keep his pants on this time. They weren’t in a proper medical environment, not with a gaping hole where the front door used to be, and she doubted he had any more scarring on his lower extremities based on the diagram. She’d take a closer look if she noticed anything concerning, but for now she didn’t want to stress him out further than she had to. She examined his head and neck for any swelling or irregularities, and after finding none she grabbed her ophthalmoscope out of her bag, directing him to turn his face towards her so she could check his vision.
His right eye appeared to be normal; the pupils were the right shape, reacting properly, and there was no swelling, discolouration, or other issues. When she moved to check the left eye, however, it was immediately apparent that something was wrong. The inner structures looked fine, as healthy as the ones on the right, but despite being exposed to concentrated light the left pupil remained unfocused and dilated. It was completely unresponsive.
She barely resisted the instinct to jump when Steven’s hand snapped up to grab her wrist, holding it in place as he stared directly into the scope. After a tense moment he reached over, fingers shaking, and covered his right eye. Whatever he saw caused him to pale dramatically, which was an impressive feat considering his already cadaverous complexion.
“No, that can’t-!” he released her and clutched his stomach, clawing at his gem. “This can’t be happening! I still have it! It’s still there, it wasn’t-!” He blinked furiously, trying to clear his vision as his panic mounted.
She restrained him before he could hurt himself. It didn’t take much effort, which made it strikingly apparent how much weaker he was than usual. “Steven, I need you to calm down and tell me what’s wrong.” She instructed, keeping her voice level. “I can’t help if I don’t know what the problem is.”
His struggling stopped, the energy draining out of him once he realized he couldn’t fight her. Despite the fever still warming his skin she could feel him shivering. As a doctor she was used to seeing people suffer from things they didn’t deserve, and yet it seemed truly unfair to her that anyone would have to go through something like this, let alone Steven.
But for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Corruption does not come without consequence.
“I…” He lifted his head to look at her, his expression haunted. “I can’t see out of my left eye…”