Archive of Our Own

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Iruka Umino had what most would call a crush. He, however, would call it a burden.

A burden that he was reminded of every day.

Kakashi Hatake was beautiful- much more than Iruka was by a longshot, hence why he hadn't said anything about the feelings he'd been holding in for the past four years. He didn't think he had a chance, and there was no point in him wasting time on someone he had no chance with... Or, that's what he told himself. He still pined regardless.

The Jonin was mysterious, confusing, and a bit quirky- all the qualities that drew Iruka in for whatever reason. On top of that, Kakashi cared about the village just as much as he did and was passionate about his work despite all of the pain he'd been through because of and during his career. Occasionally, Kakashi would express a sense of humor that Iruka had found himself loving- painfully dry and sarcastic, but amusing nonetheless, and on the rare occasions when Iruka had needed it, Kakashi had always had his back.

So, despite the fact that his feelings haunted and taunted him when he was curled up on the admittedly lonely couch in the living room at night, switching between grading papers and thinking about how Kakashi would never love him back, seeing Kakashi was arguably one of the best parts of his day.

Most of the time, he only really saw Kakashi when he was running the mission desk or when he was with Naruto, but sometimes he'd see the silver-haired man on the street. Luckily for him, this was one of those times.

Or... He thought it'd been lucky. Thinking back on it, that had been a foolish assumption. Almost nothing involving Kakashi Hatake was lucky, after all.

Iruka had been walking back to his apartment after a long day of teaching at The Ninja Academy, unsurprised to see how empty the streets of the residential areas were. It was mid-afternoon, so most ninjas were still working, and a lot of their children were just now returning home from school. The occasional civilian lingered, but aside from that, things were quiet.

That's why he was a bit surprised when he saw Kakashi walking in the opposite direction of him, hands shoved in his pockets instead of holding a book like they usually were. That surprise was replaced with realization when he remembered that Kakashi had been working with his Genin and doing D-rank missions, which would explain why he wasn't all that busy, clearly taking a stroll through the village.

As he usually did, the Chunin decided to say hello to the former Anbu member.

"Oh, Kakashi, hello-" Iruka grinned, holding a hand up to wave at Kakashi, only for the older man to walk right past him, not even offering so much as a bat of his charcoal-hued eyes in the brunette's direction. The Chunin stood there, frozen, feeling both awkward and a little dejected as both his smile and his hand fell. Kakashi had noticed him and he knew it- they were the only two on that dirt road, it was midday, and his voice had been clear enough for anyone in the area to hear. Plus, it was Kakashi, who could notice anyone anywhere, even if they were trying to hide from him- which Iruka obviously hadn't been. So, Kakashi had ignored him. "Oh, okay then... Maybe he's having a bad day. Wonder what that's about."

With that, he sighed and allowed his eyes to fall shut as he pushed his hands into the pockets of his uniform pants.

What a weird interaction... It'd look weird if Iruka continued to stand aimlessly in the middle of the street, though, so after a few seconds of remaining where he'd frozen minutes before, he gathered his composure and continued en route to his apartment.

~~

Thinking back on it, Iruka should've been able to notice the not-so-subtle shift in Kakashi's behavior before things got really bad.

It had started with those little things; Kakashi ignoring him on the street when he tried to say hello, handing in mission reports that were written in much sloppier handwriting than usual, bumping shoulders with him just a little too hard for it to be an accident when they walked past each other.

Kakashi wasn't one to do something without a reason.

But Iruka was struggling to figure out what that reason was. Had Kakashi started to hate him for some reason? No, Iruka had been nothing but kind to him. But what was it? Was Kakashi really just antagonizing him for no reason? Most of those weird, passive-aggressive interactions were ones that Iruka would be able to brush off if they had happened once or twice individually, but considering all of them mixed together, so frequently, within such a short span of time? It wasn't a coincidence. Something was definitely off, and Iruka was determined to find out what it was.

When Kakashi got back from a mission with his students, Iruka was both happy and nervous to see him- happy because it was Kakashi, the man he had been in love with for years, and nervous because it was Kakashi, the man who had been practically bullying him without any explanation for weeks.

He had been sitting at the mission desk, taking reports from all of the ninjas who were returning with the papers in hand, and Team Seven was quite easy to pick out of the line of people that were in front of him; silver hair that peeked over the heads of everyone else in the room due to Kakashi's height, Naruto's obnoxiously loud voice, and the high-pitched screeching of Sakura, who was trying to get the blond boy to settle down and stop rambling so loudly- of course, she only made it worse. It seemed that they were arguing about their most recent mission, which had been out of the village, though Iruka didn't know the details.

When Kakashi and the kids approached the mission desk, still bickering, Kakashi cut them off, tone uncharacteristically stern and laced with annoyance.

"Well, that mission's over..." With a sharp sigh, the silver-haired man dropped the stack of papers for the mission report right in front of Iruka, not even batting an eye in the brunette's direction and opting to glare at his students. At Kakashi's next words, everyone that was still lingering in the room went silent- even the usually loud and casual Anko, who was sitting right next to the Chunin and helping him with the reports. "Naruto, I love the enthusiasm and all but if you rush into battle like that without any plan or backup, you're going to be useless like usual. Sasuke, you're too cold and don't care about your teammates enough, which is going to lead to at least one of you being in serious trouble someday, and Sakura... You depend too much on these two to protect you. If you're going to sit around and play the damsel in distress, you shouldn't even be a ninja. Same goes to Naruto, too, actually- Sasuke and I have been saving your ass a lot recently. And worst of all, none of you listened to me. Not once," The three students, even Sasuke, seemed to shrink back. "Get out of my sight."

Not even hesitating, they listened to him, quickly walking out of the room. Kakashi followed a few long minutes after and the room remained silent until Iruka broke it, standing out of his chair so abruptly that the wooden legs made a horrific screeching sound against the floor at the force of it. Everyone's eyes were on him, but he didn't care, only walking out into the (thankfully empty) hallway and catching up to the silver-haired man, who only looked back at Iruka and blinked when the brunette grabbed him by the back of his jacket's collar and yanked him in.

"Kakashi!"

"What?" The Jonin pulled away from his touch but turned to face him, crossing his arms and quirking an eyebrow.

"That was so harsh! You need to go and apologize to them, or at least be a little nicer in the future. How are they supposed to grow if all you do is criticize them? That was hardly constructive, more scathing than anything..."

"Why should I? They're ninjas. They can handle it, and they aren't your students anymore, so I don't think you have the right to boss me around."

"You don't listen to anyone, do you?" Iruka snapped, crossing his arms as well. Behind Kakashi, there was Naruto, peeking from around the corner in a rather obvious manner. Iruka didn't bother pointing him out, knowing that Kakashi had already probably picked up on the blond's presence, but he did try to calm down, not wanting to be a bad influence by blowing up on the former Anbu member, which he was tempted to do. "They're still children. They need to be loved and nurtured, and it seems like all you've done is knock them down- a lot like the last three teams of my graduate students that you failed."

"Oh, don't insult those three by comparing them to the ones I failed. The three teams you and Mizuki sent me were failures and you shouldn't have passed them. Then again, considering what happened with Mizuki, it's obvious he wasn't competent, but you? You could've done better."

Iruka froze at that, surprised that Kakashi would bring up Mizuki- almost no one had since the white-haired man had betrayed the village and left Iruka and Naruto decently traumatized. Naruto, having no self-restraint, turned the corner, clearly ready to speak up about it. Sakura and Sasuke were both trying to pull him back, Sakura gently urging him to shut his mouth for once to no avail.

"Kakashi-Sensei, you jerk! You have no idea-"

"Naruto, please stay out of this and leave us alone for now," Iruka spoke, and thankfully, Naruto stopped. "This is a private conversation."

Naruto grumbled something that Iruka couldn't quite hear before allowing Sasuke and Sakura to drag him off. Once both men were sure that their students were out of earshot, Kakashi continued, smirking underneath his mask.

"Using your students to protect you now, eh?" Kakashi mocked, uncrossing his arms so he could place a hand on his hip as he tilted his head up a bit. "How pathetic."

"You... Alright, there's clearly no point in arguing with you," Iruka sighed, allowing his eyes to fall shut. Both him and Kakashi knew that he cared too much about his students to use them for something so petty- especially considering that the brunette had just encouraged Naruto to stay out of it. "You're a child in a man's body who gets kicks off of terrorizing others because you have personal issues. Arguing with you isn't going to get me anywhere," Surprisingly, Kakashi's face remained the exact same- unemotive as always, Iruka figured. "Do you really not care?"

"Nope."

Kakashi shrugged and walked past Iruka bumping his shoulder yet again, and the brunette could only sit there and fume.

Thankfully, though, he realized something. Kakashi wasn't mad at him or anything of the sort- he hadn't done anything wrong, no... Kakashi was just trying to antagonize him. Kakashi was just trying to make him angry.

And Iruka was going to figure out why.

~~~

Iruka was angry. Not only had his crush suddenly started antagonizing him and only him without any noticeable reason why, but he had also been driven to the point where he was dreading merely seeing the older man.

And Iruka still had a crush on him.

He wasn't really sure what he was supposed to be feeling, but the most prominent emotion running through his veins was anger- exactly what Kakashi had wanted. So, he was working to vent his frustrations by hitting the punching bag that he'd brought for the sole purpose of stringing to one of the trees on the training grounds so he could beat the everliving hell out of it. He was in athletic wear, hand wraps protecting his knuckles from the bag he was currently slamming his firsts into, a sweat-wicking tank top, sweatpants, and a pair of dark sneakers.

Sweat was pouring down the Chunin's forehead, his muscles hurt, and it was nearing sunset. He should've gone home, but he was still so frustrated and he didn't plan on stopping until he could feel anything.

That is until he heard the sound of something cutting through the air, a sharp noise that had him ducking as the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. He raised his hand, quickly catching the kunai that was thrown in his direction and swishing right past the skin of his exposed neck by the ring on the pommel and holding it between two fingers before wrapping his hand around the handle and holding it in case whoever it was had another weapon so he could block.

Surprisingly enough, it was Kakashi who came out from the bushes, smiling under that stupid mask of his. Iruka let out a sigh of relief, but then put his guard out, knowing that it could've just been someone using a Transformation Jutsu- or, worse, yet another person he cared about betraying him and the village... Kakashi wouldn't, though. Kakashi would never do that, he told himself. He just needed to calm down and ask what was going on.

"Kakashi! What the hell are you doing!?"

"Oh, I just felt like a sparring match," Kakashi asked, languidly walking up to Iruka and pulling another kunai from the pouch that was strapped to his leg. "You don't mind that, do you?"

"I wouldn't have minded if you would've just asked! You tried to get the drop on me!" Now, Iruka was pissed. Not even considering the consequences, he lunged at Kakashi with the kunai, knowing that the older man could dodge it anyways- which he did, simply moving to the side like Iruka's attack was nothing and holding his own weapon defensively. "What if that kunai had landed in my neck?"

"Oh, c'mon, now. You're being overdramatic, Sensei," Kakashi teased him, raising his kunai and clashing it with Iruka's. The brunette continued to fight back, moving back, forward, to the side, battling the older man and his kunai with one hand and his own knife. He was tempted to sign a Jutsu the best he could with one hand and light Kakashi's ass on fire, but it was just a sparring match and he knew better than to actually seriously harm the Jonin- even if said Jonin had thrown a kunai in his direction without any warning just minutes before. "It was a couple of millimeters off from your neck- I just threw it to catch your attention, after all, and you dodged it regardless. Worst case scenario, it might've chopped a piece of your hair."

"I actually rather like my hair, thank you..." And at that moment, like an idiot, Iruka wasted a few seconds on admiring Kakashi's appearance. The silver-haired man had always looked good in the sunlight, the oranges and pinks from the oncoming sunset shining down on his fluffy locks and bringing out all of the shades of black and grey in his charcoal-hued eyes. As always, Kakashi was beautiful. Unfortunately, he was distracted enough for Kakashi to knock the kunai out of his hand, wrestling him into a rather weak position. "Seems like you've caught me yet again, Kakashi."

Iruka sighed as he realized just how close to Kakashi he was, his breath shaky and heart pounding against his chest. The taller man was behind him, chest pressed against his back, one strong hand holding both of his wrists in front of him and the other hand holding a kunai to his neck, face so close that those masked lips almost brushed against his ear.

Part of Iruka was angry. Upset that Kakashi had rendered him useless without a hitch- like he was nothing in the older man's eyes but a weak animal to be pinned and played with.
Another much more questionable, debauched part of Iruka found the situation oddly erotic. Having been crushing on Kakashi for a good four years, he'd thought about everything there was to possibly think about him, and Kakashi's previous relationships were included in those thoughts. The thing was, though; he didn't know a thing about Kakashi's former relationships. No one did. Kakashi seemed like the type of man to have experience, but apparently, whoever he'd been with was committed to silence, because despite the speed that rumors spread at in their village, Iruka had never heard anything about Kakashi's ex-lovers.

"You're weak, Sensei," Kakashi gave a dark chuckle that made Iruka's heart skip a beat before finally dropping the kunai as well as Iruka's wrists, stepping away before continuing. "Then again, I guess I should've known better than to challenge you- if you had trouble with Mizuki and got that nasty scar on your back from him, there's no way you could take me."

"Yeah?" Iruka considered himself an understanding, kind man. Unless provoked, he could usually watch his tongue, and he knew that what he was about to say next was nothing less than wrong, but the subject of Mizuki was still touchy and raw, and Kakashi had poured salt onto the wound numerous times now despite him having done nothing to deserve it. "I guess we both know something about getting scars because of our friends, huh, Kakashi?" The brunette questioned, voice filled with spite as he yanked back and turned to face Kakashi, crossing his arms. Kakashi, of course, didn't react, and it was starting to get under Iruka's skin. Just what would he have to do to trigger the anger in Kakashi that Kakashi had been triggering in him recently? Was it really that hard to get the silver-haired man to show any emotions that weren't annoyance and mild amusement? "I've heard the rumors about your Sharingan."

"Touche. I guess I shouldn't have mentioned Mizuki," For a moment, Iruka thought that Kakashi might've felt bad, but of course, that was too good to be true. Kakashi didn't seem to experience guilt over much despite his dark past- whatever guilt he did experience in relation to his former teammates and sensei, he kept hidden from everyone. The only reason Iruka knew about it was that he'd grown up hearing a ridiculous amount of gossip about the infamous Friend-Killer Kakashi. "Not that I really care."

"I see you're the same as usual, Kakashi," Iruka bent over to grab the fallen kunai from the grass, handing it to Kakashi, who put both of the weapons he'd used back into the pouch he'd originally pulled them from.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Absolutely no manners whatsoever."

"Ouch!" Kakashi, sarcastic as ever, feigned offense by placing a hand over his chest and forcing a wince. The thought that the only part of Kakashi's face left uncovered, his right eye, was terribly expressive, briefly crossed Iruka's mind. "I'd be offended if I actually cared about your opinion."

"And I'd be offended if I actually cared about you mocking me."

"Regurgitating my lines is pretty boring, Sensei. Can't you come up with something better?"

Jackpot. Iruka didn't like annoying people most of the time, but he had been an attention-seeking teenager just a decade before, and he knew how to get on a man's nerves if he really wanted to. Kakashi was an exceptionally difficult case, sure, but with the barely-detectable annoyance that had plagued the older man's tone just seconds before, Iruka was sure that he'd pinpointed a good method.

Copying the infamous Copy Ninja, Kakashi Hatake, would surely annoy the hell out of him.

"Can't you?"

"How original," Kakashi rolled his eyes, trying to act unbothered, but Iruka only continued.

"How original."

"Are..." The silver-haired man trailed off, holding a finger up as his eyebrows drew together in what must've been confusion. Iruka only smirked, imitating the motion. "Are you copying me?"

"Are... Are you copying me?" He parrotted back, careful to make the voice he used as dumb and exaggerated as possible.

"You've won this time," Seemingly disgruntled, Kakashi turned his back and began to walk away. Iruka laughed, knowing that if Kakashi wanted to continue this bullshit, he could make it a game for two. Kakashi was almost out of earshot, so Iruka laughed louder, only able to bring himself to say one thing in return.

"You've won this time."

~~~~

Iruka was fuming with rage as he walked through the streets of The Leaf Village, a grin filled with malice taking over his face, which was burning bright red.

Earlier that day, The Third Hokage had asked the Jonin squad-leaders for Chunin exams recommendations. Kakashi had suggested his students, and despite Iruka objecting to that, Kakashi had gone through with it anyway, going as far as to blow off Iruka's valid opinions and embarrass him in front of all of his friends and superiors.

Iruka had gone home after that to collect himself- The Third Hokage had allowed a preliminary exam to be added in, and Iruka would participate in that to see how the students were doing, but that didn't change the fact that he was still absolutely livid. Part of him felt like Kakashi had only pulled that to provoke him again. This bullshit had been going on for a good month and a half now, and as much fun as he had been having while fucking with Kakashi and having the silver-haired man do the same in return, there were certain lines that Kakashi should've known not to cross- and, well, Kakashi had sprinted past those lines.

Even after he'd gone home and stewed in his own feelings for hours, they had only gotten worse. The more he thought about Kakashi, the more confused and upset he became, so he decided that he was going to confront the Jonin.

What was he going to say? Well, he wasn't quite sure, and maybe this was just him stupidly feeding into Kakashi's sick games, but he was going to say something... And maybe Iruka wanted to feed into whatever it was that Kakashi was hoping to get out of antagonizing him. Plus, he was already at Kakashi's doorstep, so backing out now would be rather weird.
When he pounded his fist against the door, he was surprised at how quickly Kakashi answered- maybe a little too quickly, if he was being honest.

"Oh, Iruka-Sensei. What brings you here?" Kakashi questioned, running a hand through his silvery locks. He was wearing joggers and a tight, sleeveless shirt, his mask pulled over his face but his forehead protector nowhere to be seen. The way that shirt clung to and revealed the older man's surprisingly defined muscles, covered in creamy, taut skin that was marred with scars... Well, it had Iruka's mind short-circuiting for a moment before he remembered that he was supposed to be angry and quickly corrected his behavior.

"Really?" Iruka gave a bitter laugh, crossing his arms and staring up at Kakashi, leaning in close enough to count the older man's eyelashes- though, Kakashi didn't lean back, only staying still, and he was seemingly unaffected. "You know why I'm here."

"I'm afraid I don't, actually."

"You're such a bastard sometimes, Kakashi," Iruka shook his head, finding his crush nothing but impossible at that moment. "I mean, how dare you?"

"Hm? I really don't know what you're talking about."

"You just invalidated my opinion and embarrassed me in front of everyone! You know how disrespectful you are? I feel like you don't know."

"Oh, you're still whining about the Chunin exam recommendations..." Due to the slight shift of his mask against his skin, Iruka could see how Kakashi gave him a teasing pout, clearly demeaning him for what must've been the millionth time. "You poor thing. You know how much I care?"

"How much?"

"None, not one little ounce," The Jonin had the nerve to reach out and ruffle the top of Iruka's hair, which was still tied back, effectively pulling a few strands loose from the ponytail and riling him up even more. "I don't care about you or your embarrassment at all, and the fact that you're so angry is only one of the many amusing parts of my day that I'll probably forget about by tomorrow morning."

"You tell me that like you're under the assumption that I haven't figured it out already," Kakashi went to shut the front door, but of course, Iruka stuck his foot between the wood and the doorway, preventing the older man from doing so. If Kakashi had felt like it, he probably could've slammed the door hard enough to make Iruka reel back, or he could've pushed the brunette and shut and locked the door in a hurry, but he didn't, only standing there and waiting for Iruka to continue with a bored look in his eye. "Just how dumb do you think I am?"

"You've never really been able to decipher my feelings towards you, as much as you seem to think you can."

"Maybe if you communicated with people properly instead of speaking like a vague, edgy, emotionally underdeveloped teenager, I'd understand you a bit better," Iruka sighed, his anger slowly seeping out as he pulled his foot back. As interesting as the games with Kakashi were, he just wanted to know what the older man was thinking. He wanted it to be over. He wanted Kakashi to love him back someday.

"Sounds like a lot of work," Kakashi scoffed, and Iruka paused, conflicted. Part of him wanted to yank Kakashi in by the collar of that stupid shirt, rip that mask off, and slam their lips together, while the other part of him wanted to slam his head against a brick wall. "At least I'm not an open book like you."

"An open book, huh? I guess you aren't wrong, and I know that being an open book while simultaneously having a career as a Shinobi isn't practical, but..." Iruka frowned and stared down at the ground, unable to help but dwell on the thoughts he'd been having about Kakashi- especially the more recent ones. Kakashi was hiding things- he always had been, and Iruka wondered if these weird games they were playing were some attempt from Kakashi at a cry for help, as confusing as that would be. "At least people understand me, and at least I'm not hiding."

"Hiding, huh?" For the first time in a while, Iruka had heard the seriousness in Kakashi's tone. The silver-haired man leaned against the doorframe, staring at Iruka with a look that the brunette would've identified as longing if he hadn't known better.

"Yeah. I'm starting to think that's all you do, Kakashi," Iruka finally met his crush's eyes again, dark brown melting into charcoal, and for once, Kakashi seemed to flinch back. "You act like this to hide."

"Don't we all? Don't you?"

Iruka paused, unsure of how to respond, and Kakashi took the opportunity to shut and lock the door on him.

"Hey!" Iruka immediately yelled, pounding his fists against the door in an attempt to get Kakashi to open it and probably waking the Jonin's poor neighbors in the process. "Open the door!"

Unfortunately, all he got in response was the sound of Kakashi's voice, teasing and playful as usual.

"See you around, Sensei."

~~~~~

The next morning, Iruka woke up in a daze, tired and running off of hardly any sleep. He had been up the whole night thinking about Kakashi, and thankfully, he'd come to a conclusion about how he should handle the situation from now on, but it had been at the cost of his rest. He didn't have to teach classes that day since it was the weekend, and he half-considered taking a nap, but he didn't want to mess up his schedule, and he did have to administer the pre-exam for the kids in about twelve hours... He didn't want to sleep through the time he should've been using to prepare.

However, he quickly came to regret his decision of forcing himself to wake up on schedule and trudging into his kitchen to make a cup of coffee, only to find no other than Kakashi Hatake sitting at his counter in nothing but a pair of pajama pants. Even his shoes, forehead protector, and mask were gone.

Now Kakashi was really fucking with him. What the hell even was this?

All Iruka could really do for a moment was stand there, him and Kakashi eyeing each other like a predator and its prey. He felt a bit awkward- he'd slept in his boxers and walked out in them, not exactly expecting a whole ass person to be sitting at his kitchen counter and waiting for him. The Kakashi-loving, painfully smitten part of him was frozen as he admired Kakashi just sitting there without a shirt or a mask, tight body and gorgeous face on display for Iruka's chocolate-hued eyes to drink in.

Suddenly, as the growing smirk on Kakashi's face registered, Iruka realized that he'd been staring for just a little too long.

"Oh, God," Iruka groaned, feigning annoyance as he raised a hand, rubbing the bridge of his nose between his pointer finger and his thumb before eyeing Kakashi with a forced glare. "What are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here? Oh, nothing... Just working," The brunette stared hard at his crush, unsurprised to see that Kakashi had already made himself at home; a glass of water on the counter in front of him, along with a paper that he was writing on with one of Iruka's nice pens, not to mention the fact that he was only half-dressed... Not that the Chunin was doing much better. Iruka didn't even know what was going on anymore, but he didn't question it, only letting a long and drawn-out sigh fall from in between his lips when Kakashi blatantly knocked the glass off of the counter with a languid sweep of one of his pale hands. It fell off, landing on the floor and shattering into pieces, the water spilling out. Iruka didn't even flinch- for whatever reason, he'd been expecting Kakashi to do that. "Whoops!"

And that brought Iruka back to what he had been dwelling on the night before. Clearly, him allowing Kakashi to get on his nerves wasn't going anywhere, so he'd see what happened when he acted perfectly calm instead of letting the older man get under his skin.

A few days ago, Iruka would've been pissed at waking up to Kakashi breaking glasses in his kitchen.

But, this Iruka was a different man than the Iruka from a few days ago, and he was going to do whatever he could to prevent himself from becoming angry.

"I'll clean it up."

So, he grabbed the broom and dustpan from where they were leaning against the kitchen wall, sweeping up the broken glass and pouring it into the trash before grabbing a rag and getting down on his knees to wipe up the spilled water.

"That's weird," Kakashi commented, seemingly unnerved. Iruka had to hold back a smirk. If he could pull off acting neutral, then he could beat Kakashi at his own game.

"What's weird?" Iruka questioned, trying to sound as oblivious as he could while still keeping it believable enough for Kakashi to buy into.

"You aren't getting mad at me."

"That's because I've finally figured you out, Kakashi," Iruka offered a smile, soft and gentle as he stood up and tossed the wet rag on top of the paper that Kakashi had been writing on. Seemingly shocked by Iruka's response, the pen fell out of Kakashi's hand, landing on top of the wet rag. "We all know I have a bit of a temper. I care too much, it doesn't take a lot of effort to get me flustered, and I express my anger and frustration very openly. I can acknowledge those flaws in my character... You've acknowledged these things as well, and for whatever reason, you've taken to doing whatever you can to get a rise out of me recently because... Well, I'm not sure why. I'm assuming it's some sick form of entertainment for you since you don't have any hobbies aside from antagonizing your poor students, sleeping, jump-scaring people, and reading badly-written porn."

"Ouch," Kakashi stood from the barstool he'd been sitting at, moving to be right in front of Iruka and leaning in so close that the brunette could count the inky eyelashes adorning his charcoal-hued eyes. Of course, he was more focused on Kakashi's lips, as this was his first time actually seeing them- they were plump, kissable... Iruka quickly shook his head and struggled to meet the older man's gaze again. His face was burning red, and he was slowly beginning to lose his composure again despite his earlier promises to himself about staying calm. "I almost bought that calm, mature act you were putting on, but you insulting me revealed that you're solely doing this to get me off your back. You aren't actually calm at all, are you? It probably took everything in you not to lunge at me just now when I knocked that glass over. In fact, you're probably boiling with rage, and the fact that you were on your knees in front of me cleaning up the mess I made was even more humiliating. This calm act you're putting on... It really is just an act."

"Who says it's an act?" Iruka crossed his arms and took a step back, nervous, but Kakashi only matched the motion and took a step towards him to reseal the distance.

"Me," They continued backing up until they were in the living room, "And if knocking your glasses over won't work, then how about another sparring match?"

"Are you kidding me?" Iruka asked, grabbing one of the kunai that hung on the rack of his living room wall without really thinking about it. "Right now?"

"Yeah."

Honestly? Iruka assumed that he would go and get dressed- then, they'd go to the training grounds and spar the normal way, but things weren't that easy with Kakashi- no, things were never really easy with Kakashi.

"Fine- Kakashi!" Iruka exclaimed, nearly jumping back when Kakashi's kunai was bumping against his, clearly trying to knock it out of his hand. The brunette only tried his best to counter, staring up at the silver-haired man, baffled. "What the fuck? In my living room?"

"You were the one who said it was fine to go right now, so yes."

"You're such a douche!" The Chunin scolded, looking down at himself as he and the Jonin began to exchange blows, those of which they blocked from the other. "I'm in my damn underwear. You know that, right?"

"I consider it an added bonus," Kakashi winked at him, and he was gone, ready to get this stupid shit over with. Fueled by spite and frustration, Iruka jammed the point of his kunai through the ring in Kakashi's, effectively catching the weapon and ripping it out of the taller man's grip before sending it flying across the room.

Ignoring how ridiculous the situation was, as well as the fact that Kakashi was much more skilled than him in terms of every Jutsu out there, Iruka used one hand to wrestle Kakashi's wrists in his grip, the other hand holding the blunt end of his kunai against the former Anbu member's throat- revenge for how Kakashi had sent a kunai flying mere millimeters from his neck just a few weeks ago, he figured.

"You..."

"Oh! Since when were you so tough?" Kakashi only grinned, licking his lips before giving Iruka an oddly melodious laugh. The brunette would've found the noise enjoyable if it weren't for the fact that he was growing more and more confused and angry by the second, the feelings muddling his mind and coursing through his blood. "I didn't know you could tango with me like this, Sensei."

"That is it! What the hell is your problem, Kakashi!?"

"Hm?" Kakashi hummed, tilting his head, which caused his throat to rub up against the cold metal of the kunai. Iruka was agitated, but he didn't actually want to cause any harm to the man he had been so in love with for the past few years, so he pulled the kunai back to keep it from pressing directly into the Jonin's pale skin- something that didn't go unnoticed by Kakashi, of course. "Who said I have a problem?"

Honestly? If you would've told Iruka Umino a couple of months ago that he'd be in nothing but his boxers, holding a kunai to Kakashi Hatake's throat as nothing but sexual tension filled the room, he would've laughed in your face.

But there he was.

Doing exactly that.

"You-" Iruka paused, too taken aback by the entire ordeal to even formulate sentences properly. "You're just straight antagonistic! Don't act like you haven't been torturing me for the past God-knows-how-long?"

"Ooh, did I get you angry? I almost feel threatened," Kakashi mocked him for what must've been the millionth time in the past two months. "Not really. I feel like a little duckling is holding a kunai to my throat right now. You know I can stop you whenever I want, right?"

"I'm gonna repeat myself until I get an answer out of you," Finally, Iruka dropped the kunai, allowing the metal to clatter against the floor and using his spare hand to rest his palm against the center of Kakashi's chest, that leverage helping him push the silver-haired man's back against the wall. "What the hell is your problem?"

"Oh, you know, just you," Kakashi had the nerve to shrug as if it were that obvious. Iruka could only blink at him, terribly confused.

"And what have I done to you?"

"I mean, you exist and as much as I love you that's kind of an inconvenience because I've wanted you to fuck my brains out ever since we met."

All Iruka could do was freeze, staring at his crush with wide eyes. Kakashi hadn't said anything about love, but Iruka was in love, and hearing that the person he'd been in love with for so long wanted him in any way had him practically buzzing him with excitement. Still, though, he was consumed with the frustration that had been building, and he was confused. Kakashi wanted him, so he antagonized him? What sense did that make? How much time could they have avoided wasting if one of them would've just said something earlier instead of participating in these mind games?

"...That's what this is all about? You've gotta be kidding me! So you want to fuck, right," Iruka laughed, able to feel a stress headache coming on as he continued. "And I want to fuck... We have a mutual love-hate thing going on. So, instead of communicating this to me like a normal human being, you decide to antagonize me until I get to this point! Am I right?"

"Yes," Kakashi managed to wriggle his wrists out of Iruka's grip and reached forward to rest his hands on the Chunin's chest, subtly batting his inky eyelashes. Despite all of the other feelings that were taking over, Iruka was mesmerized, watching Kakashi with nothing but wonder in his chocolate brown eyes. "You know, you're really hot when you're angry."

"And you are disgusting," Iruka whispered, trying to stay mad at Kakashi, but not able to bring himself to. Instead, he leaned in and pressed his lips against the older man's, allowing his eyes to fall shut as they melted into each other. Kakashi seemed a bit taken aback, but quickly responded, tilting his head and deepening the kiss. He tasted like lavender and rain, something sweet and floral, but unfortunately, he pulled back. Iruka stayed there, staring at Kakashi, whose cheeks were now burning red. It seemed like he was waiting for the shorter man to initiate something more. "Fuck it."

"Heh," Kakashi chuckled, not even bothering with trying to support his own body weight as Iruka lifted him up tossing him over his shoulder and carrying him through the hallway. Shameless as always, the silver-haired man reached down to grab a handful of Iruka's clothed ass, nearly making the younger man jump. "You're so cute."

"I'm really curious as to what kind of thoughts you have bouncing around in that head of yours," Iruka shook his head and pushed his bedroom door open once he reached it so he could walk over to his mattress and toss Kakashi on top of it without much tact. The Jonin landed, bouncing off of the surface just a bit before settling into it, looking up at the brunette with a lazy smirk. "Because I don't know who in their right mind thinks that the way to get their crush to sleep with them is to antagonize them to no end."

"Who says I'm in my right mind?" The taller man questioned and propped himself up on his elbows. "And about my issues, there's a lot to unpack there, so let's just throw the whole suitcase away."

"Why are you so avoidant?" Iruka grumbled, crawling on top of the mattress so he could sit in between Kakashi's legs, placing his hands on his crush's clothed knees and spreading them apart.

"Don't act like you aren't the same way," Kakashi sat up on his knees, crawling into Iruka's lap and sitting there before leaning down and taking the brunette's bottom lip between his teeth and gently tugging it, taking advantage to capture an open-mouthed kiss.

"God, I could hit you right now," Iruka laughed, the frustration that had been building slowly turning into arousal as he felt his length begin to strain against the material of his green boxers.

"Do it," Kakashi challenged, a devious smirk taking over his face. The Chunin couldn't tell if his crush was serious or not, so he stared up at the older man's face, quirking an eyebrow in curiosity.

"So you're into that, then?"

"I'm into you," Kakashi admitted, raising his hands to entangle his nimble fingers in Iruka's long, silky hair, pulling on it a bit. Just to test how far he could go, the brunette wrapped an arm around the older man's waist, pulling him in and sucking a wine-hued hickey into his neck, trailing his lips down to nip and lick at the soft skin as he began to languidly rock his hips up and into the sweatpant-clad bulge that was pushing against his front. "Ah...!"

If Iruka was being honest, he'd expected Kakashi to be the silent type- dominant, hard to read, not all that expressive, but the way that Kakashi was clutching at his shoulders and desperately grinding back into him, little sighs and moans falling from in between his lips and eyes half-lidded- well, it was certainly a pleasant surprise. Iruka briefly wondered just how many new things he'd discover about Kakashi today.

"What the fuck," Iruka laughed, nuzzling into Kakashi's neck and peering up at the older man, who had flushed bright red from his chest all the way up to his ears.

"What?"

"I've despised you recently," He admitted, earning a lazy smirk from Kakashi in response. "But God, when you moan like that... All that frustration just goes away. I think..."

"Tell me what you think, Iruka," The Jonin's hands moved away from his hair, opting to rest on Iruka's cheeks instead. The teacher froze, admiring Kakashi's appearance and imprinting the image in his mind the best he could; silvery locks loose and messy, lips red and kiss-bruised, normally pale skin hued pink, charcoal eyes glazed with lust.

"I think you're gorgeous... And I think I love you, Kakashi."

"Me too," Kakashi clarified, maybe a little too loud, before quickly sinking into himself and averting his gaze. "I love you too."

"Kakashi..."

"Iruka," The former Anbu member whined, a sound that Iruka never expected to hear, let alone in this context. "Hurry up."

"Oh, no, you don't get to run this after all the shit you've put me through recently... I'm taking my time," Iruka promptly moved his hands to Kakashi's hips and tipped them forward, effectively pinning the taller man down on his back and hovering over him. "And I'm going to fucking wreck you."

"Please-" Kakashi tried to buck his hips up, but Iruka only held them down before letting them go and resting his forearms on either side of his lover's head to support his own weight.

"I'll give you what you want... Eventually," The brunette tilted his head a bit and balanced his weight on one arm so he could use his spare hand to trail down Kakashi's chest, to his stomach, down across the small patch of silver hair that made up his happy trail, and finally past the waistband of his sweatpants and boxers, rough fingers grasping the older man's hard cock and giving it a couple of languid strokes. "But as I said, I'm taking my time with you."

"Iruka..." The Jonin moaned, eyes fluttering shut as he pressed his cheek against the pillow his head was resting on and fucking into the Chunin's calloused hand. "Oh, God...!"

"You're sensitive."

Iruka had merely meant that as a teasing remark, but his little jest was quickly followed by a shocking confession from the taller man.

"...I've never done this before."

Iruka would equate the feeling that shot through his body at that moment to the sound of glass shattering in his mind; not bad, but certainly shocking. The idea of him fucking Kakashi into the mattress until an imprint of their joined bodies was left in it quickly left his head, replaced with a new excitement mixed with anxiety.

He didn't know anything about Kakashi's relationships, sure, but he expected Kakashi to have some sort of experience.

"Let me get this straight," Iruka started, withdrawing his hand from the Sharingan user's boxers and looking down at him with questioning eyes. "You decided you were going to initiate all this... Not even knowing for sure-"

"What I'm supposed to be doing, yes."

"Okay, I have to admit, I was actually expecting for you to be more experienced than me," The brunette let out a small sigh as he dropped a tender kiss to the flushed skin of the taller man's forehead. "But if it's your first time..."

"You're not mad at me, are you?"

"Of course not, but now that I know this, I... Well, obviously I'm going to be gentle with you."

"You don't have to be," Kakashi tried to dissuade him, glancing away with a guilty expression that made Iruka frown. "I'm not sure I deserve it."

"You do, though," The Chunin placed a hand on Kakashi's face, tilting the Jonin's head so their eyes would meet, chocolate and charcoal melting into each other in a sea of passion and desire. "You're a complete douchenozzle, sure, but I do love you, and I want your first time to be good... I want you to be sure about it, too. Tell me you want this."

"I want you," Kakashi allowed his eyes to fall shut for just a second or two before finishing. "I want this."

"Alright," Relieved that Kakashi seemed just as enthusiastic about it as he was, Iruka reached down, taking off his own boxers before helping the former Anbu member shed his clothing as well. "And you're sure you wanna bottom?"

Iruka took the momentary pause as an opportunity to rake Kakashi's body in with his eyes; hard, rigid muscles, flushed skin that was decorated with scars and the occasional beauty marks, veiny length brushing against his abdomen, dimples that Iruka hadn't even known about now showing with the small smile the silver-haired man was currently offering.

"Yeah."

"Lube and condoms are in that top drawer," The brunette explained, pointing to the nightstand that was just within his lover's reach. "Mind grabbing them for me?"

"Sure," To Iruka's delight, Kakashi didn't even break eye contact, reaching over to grab both items while holding the younger man's intense gaze. Once his hand surfaced from the wooden drawer, the condom and lube both gripped tightly within those nimble fingers, Kakashi dropped them next to his head on the mattress. "Here."

The shorter man grabbed the bottle of lube, popping the cap open and pouring some over four of the fingers on his other hand before reclosing the bottle and setting it back down on the mattress. Tentative in his motions, Iruka used his dry hand to hold one of Kakashi's thighs, spreading his legs further apart and using the fingers on his other hand to rim his entrance with the lube.

"It might take some time to adjust to this if you haven't done it before, but be sure to tell me to stop if it hurts too much," The brunette warned, briefly thanking whatever deity was out there that he had just so happened to cut his nails the night before as he slowly sunk a finger into his lover's entrance. Kakashi clenched down on it, the ring of muscles tightening automatically, but then he allowed his body to relax, a shaky sigh falling from in between his lips. It was probably nothing mindblowing- after all, Iruka had only used one, and Kakashi had probably done this to himself at least once, but he was sure to be sensitive regardless- doing something like that by yourself was significantly different than actually having another person touch you. "Can I add another?"

"G-Go ahead..."

Able to feel the impatience rolling off of Kakashi in waves, Iruka added a second finger, and then a third, experimentally pulling them out part of the way before pushing them back in with a languid twisting motion.

Kakashi Hatake had never been one to wait for anyone despite his terrible habit of keeping everyone in his life waiting for him on a concerningly regular basis, which applied in just about every situation- including this one, apparently. The older man didn't waste any time, screwing his eyes shut and rushing to push his hips into Iruka's fingers to match his pace, but the brown-eyed man only shook his head, tutted, and used one hand to press down on Kakashi's waist to keep him from moving.

Kakashi was strong. He could've easily broken away from Iruka's touch and done whatever he pleased, but he didn't, only letting out a huff of indignance and remaining the most submissive the Chunin had ever seen him before settling back down on the mattress.

"Stop squirming," Iruka scolded, earning himself a pout from the man beneath him.

"Stop holding out on me- I know you aren't going to do anything that'll really hurt."

"I know you're tough, Kakashi, but this is a lot different than us fighting," Iruka stayed calm regardless of how his heart was beating against his chest like a drum, the sound reverberating through his ears and the rest of his body as he crooked his fingers inside of the taller man and tried to start up a steady pace. That was followed by him scissoring the digits in an attempt to help lessen what would be the pain from his cock stretching the tight ring of muscles in the next few minutes. "And I'm not gonna risk hurting you, so try to have some patience with me, okay? I just... Wanna make you feel really good, so bear with me."

"Okay," Kakashi sighed, tone apologetic in his next sentence in a way that made Iruka wonder if he'd said something wrong. "You don't have to do that-"

"Shush," Iruka tried to be reassuring and soft, pressing a tender kiss against Kakashi's lips before pulling back again, mind and heart both racing ridiculously fast. "You deserve to be prepped right, though I guess I won't drag it out if you don't want me to."

"Iruka..." Kakashi's voice nearly cracked as Iruka withdrew his fingers, both of their breaths heavy and faces burning red. "Holy shit."

"You ready?" Iruka asked, picking the condom up off of the bed and tearing the package open before slipping it over his hard cock, slabbering what lube he had left on his hand over the length, and lining himself up at the older man's entrance, teasing the rim.

"Mhm."

"Again, tell me if it hurts too much and I'll stop for you, okay?"

Kakashi only nodded in response, tilting his head back as a thin sheen of sweat that seemed to make his flushed skin glitter formed on his face. Trying to take it as slow as possible, Iruka was pushing in, groaning as he slowly filled the Jonin up and bottomed out.

"Ah...!" Kakashi winced and stiffened up, arms curling into his chest. Even with Iruka's prep, it was probably a bit of a stretch, so he waited before making any more movements.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, I just-" Kakashi reached up, reached out for him, voice uncharacteristically weak and strained. "Closer, please..."

Iruka leaned down, a smile taking over his face as Kakashi's hands were on his shoulders again, blunt nails digging into the sunkissed skin.

"There we go... Better?"

"Move-"

Kakashi looked like he was about to speak again, but Iruka had already moved, drawing back about halfway before thrusting back in, which had Kakashi effectively cutting off whatever he had been getting ready to say with a choked gasp.

"Like this?"

"Faster!"

"Already? Are you sure?" Kakashi gave a frantic nod, so Iruka acquiesced and lifted the older man up and into him, sitting back. Kakashi immediately settled in Iruka's lap, placing his hands on the brunette's shoulder for stability before giving him a questioning look, silently asking what he should do next. "Okay, here-" Surprisingly enough, Kakashi's hands then moved to his chest, pushing him back so he was on his back and elbows. "Clearly you're wanting a bit more control, so let's just do this instead... Think you can ride me?"

Kakashi nodded, and with that, he used his hands on Iruka's chest as leverage to lift himself up before dropping back down. Iruka let out a small gasp, surprised by the new angle and how good it felt to have the older man's warm, velvety walls squeezing around him so tightly, even despite the condom that acted as a minor barrier between the two. Very gradually, Kakashi began to pick up a rhythm, that of which Iruka could only respond to with matching thrusts of his hips. "Much better... Iruka-"

"You're doing great, Kakashi, keep going...!"

The motion was intoxicating and addictive, skin slapping skin and friction increasing until Kakashi suddenly froze and tensed up, slapping a hand over his mouth and screwing his eyes shut in pleasure.

"I think I'm-" Hearing his lover's voice so desperate, so broken, was just enough to have him sitting up and taking control, slamming his hips so hard into Kakashi's that he was sure he'd leave bruises on those toned thighs, wrapping one arm around his waist to pull him closer and using his other hand to curl around the Jonin's cock, which was impossibly hard and leaking with pre-cum. He didn't even bother moving his hand in full strokes, allowing the friction that came from their other movements to do the work. Kakashi was still covering his mouth, probably to keep himself from being too loud, but Iruka wanted to hear his everything.

"It's okay," Iruka encouraged, tone gentle and reassuring. "Just let go..."

At that, Kakashi let out an embarrassingly loud cry of Iruka's name, trembling and shaking as he fell apart on the Chunin's lap, cumming in his hand. The sight and feeling of Kakashi losing his composure and tightening so suddenly was too much, and Iruka gave a couple more uneven thrusts before pushing himself deep inside the former Anbu member's taut body and cumming inside of the condom.

Kakashi's weight settled against him, warm and comforting. For a few minutes, they stayed there like that, the only sound in the room being that of Kakashi panting and pressing kisses against the side of his neck.

Thankfully, all of the anger and tension that had been building up between the two men over the past couple months seemed to dissipate. Iruka slowly pulled out, lifted Kakashi off of his lap, and removed the condom, tying it at the end to keep it closed before tossing it into his trashbin and plopping down on the bed, laying on his stomach with his arms on one of the pillows and his head in his arms, tired eyes focused on Kakashi. The silver-haired man was laying on his side, facing the brunette and appearing just as tired, struggling to keep his eyes open.

"...We need to talk, don't we, Iruka?"

Iruka could've said no. Kakashi was clearly exhausted, and so was he. Iruka had already waited four years, though, and he didn't want to wait any longer- he knew he wouldn't be able to go to sleep without figuring everything out first.

"That would be for the best."

"Just to make sure... What exactly are your feelings towards me?"

"It's like I said earlier..." Iruka paused, taking the moment to pray to whatever God(s) there was/were out there that Kakashi wasn't interested in him for strictly sexual reasons. "I love you, Kakashi."

"I love you too," Kakashi grinned, not even hesitating to cuddle up to Iruka and resting his head against the younger man's shoulder. "I guess... I tried to get your attention before and it never seemed to work, so I thought I'd provoke you instead to see what would happen."

"I never even noticed. If you hadn't straight-up told me what your intentions were when you did, I wouldn't have figured it out," Iruka admitted, now feeling rather stupid since he was thinking back on it with retrospect. "You could've just talked to me earlier, Kakashi. We didn't have to do all of this."

"You could've talked to me, too," One of Kakashi's arms was slipping under the blanket and tossing itself over Iruka's waist, a hand moving up so those nimble fingers could run over the scar on his back. Due to it being from such a large shuriken, despite his Chunin vest offering some protection when the attack happened, it had pierced through his skin pretty deep, and it hadn't healed all that well. He briefly remembered the offhanded comment Kakashi had made about that incident a few weeks back, but he chose to let it go, figuring that it wasn't worth bringing up. "I would've happily accepted your feelings."

"I guess it doesn't matter now."

"You're right."

"You're never allowed to antagonize me like that again, by the way," Iruka laughed, sitting up on his elbows and running a hand through his loose hair. "I'm surprised you didn't send me into cardiac arrest. Next time around, just tell me you wanna fuck and I'd be happy to indulge you."

"Can't handle a little teasing, Sensei?" Kakashi chuckled, and Iruka could only huff before he came up with what he thought was a good response.

"I guess you can't handle a little teasing either based on how impatient you are in bed, Sensei."

"Sorry, but I'll have you know that I'd been waiting for that for years. Forgive me for being in a bit of a rush," Kakashi looked away, face burning bright red as he tried to hide his face with his hair. Iruka smiled, a small chuckle falling from in between his kiss-bruised lips. "What's that grin for?"

"Nothing," The brunette stopped, leaning down to rest his forehead against his lover's and relishing in it when Kakashi's slight pout turned into an excited smile. "You're just so cute when you aren't antagonizing me."

"Shut up and kiss me again."

And so, he did.