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What is the line that separates friendship and romance between girls? Shimamura wasn’t entirely sure and it was a question that came to her with some frequency ever since she began going out with Adachi.
Going out, dating, being a couple—it was these things that seperated romantic from platonic, but were they really all that different? Going out with Adachi wasn’t too much different, if at all, from hanging out with Adachi. Did that mean they had been dating before they had officially said they were? Or did it mean that they weren’t properly dating at all?
All of these questions were so troublesome, but for Adachi’s sake Shimamura was willing to ask them.
She had approached every friendship and relationship in her life the same way. She was a casual participant who walked slowly behind someone and followed wherever they seemed to be leading. She made a few friends this way, but eventually—inevitably—they would drift away from her; Shimamura followed the current and sometimes the current slowly slid between her relationships as she grew apart from people. And she was fine with that. She never chased after anyone and was content to float with the current wherever it may lead her. Until she met Adachi, that is.
Shimamura hadn’t realized it at first, but she had slowly begun to change ever since she first met Adachi on the gym’s second floor. She was no longer content to just follow the flow and instead she wanted to hold Adachi’s hand and pull her along. She wasn’t sure what their destination was, but she knew that she liked having Adachi alongside her—pulling her and being pulled by her, walking side by side in equal measure. It was a strange thing to realize about oneself.
Shimamura had never dated anyone before Adachi—had never really liked anyone either—and she knew that Adachi was similarly inexperienced. She had no template to rely on and it seemed that the current she had been following all her life was gone; instead she had to rely on herself to find her own path. She just wasn’t sure exactly what that was—it was all rather tiring to think about.
Adachi seemed rather pleased with the change in their relationship. Again, it honestly wasn’t all too different from before, but apparently just being together—as a couple—was enough for Adachi. They held hands, but they had already done that—were they holding hands more often? Shimamura couldn’t be sure, having never counted or taken too much note of the frequency in the past. They went on dates, but going on dates wasn’t too different from all the times they hanged out.
Adachi did ask her to go to the theater with her, though. Shimamura couldn’t recall if they had ever gone to the movies before, but she didn’t think they had. Was a movie date all that was necessary to be in a relationship?
They decided to watch a romantic comedy and they chose a comfortable spot near the back of the theater. When the lights went out, Shimamura could feel Adachi awkwardly sway in her seat. Her hands were fiddling with nervousness and they slowly reached over to Shimamura’s seat, before stopping and returning to her own lap. Shimamura wanted to laugh, but as she was in a theater she muffled her giggles. A part of her wanted to watch Adachi struggle for the rest of the movie, to wait until the girl worked up her own courage—Adachi was incredibly pretty when her face was red from embarrassment—but Shimamura decided to have mercy on her girlfriend and reached over and grabbed Adachi’s hand.
Adachi squeaked and her face flushed—she really was cute when embarrassed. She looked down at their held hands and then awkwardly turned her gaze to Shimamura who had what could only be described as a delightfully smug expression. Shimamura turned her attention to the movie, but out of the corner of her eye she watched Adachi. She took a minute to compose herself, but then she began smiling as she held Shimamura’s hand and relaxed in her seat.
Shimamura enjoyed movies, but she personally never really understood the appeal of going to the theater—especially with other people. The sound of loud breathing and the chewing of popcorn was rather pervasive, oftentime distracting from whatever the actors were saying. And as a location for a date it seemed rather counter-intuitive. You weren’t able to talk to your date and your attention was meant to be focused solely on the film.
She didn’t mind movie dates, per say. Shimamura just found herself confused by the appeal of them, but it was something that couples did. And that’s what her and Adachi were now.
A couple.
Adachi seemed to be aptly paying attention to the movie and Shimamura decided to do so as well—it was what she had paid for after all. The movie was one of the most anticipated rom coms of the year. It had two famous lead actors who had played in numerous roles together, but they had yet to play as a couple. Shimamura’s mom was particularly excited for it and Shimamura had made sure not to tell her mom where she was going lest the woman be tempted to tag along.
The actor and actress had great chemistry and were clearly talented in their own right, so Shimamura could see why so many had been clamouring for them in these roles. But, personally, there came a point where a celebrity grew so big that she could no longer see the character they were portraying and just saw them. That was, in her opinion, the biggest issue with movies. There were so many familiar faces that repeated ad nauseum and it shattered any suspension of disbelief that she tried to maintain.
Perhaps that was the appeal—to have something familiar and comfortable.
Shimamura continued watching the movie and she actually found herself to be enjoying it. She couldn’t remember the characters’ names, but she was laughing alongside every joke and when the climatic kiss scene finally arrived she was waiting with anticipation. It was at this moment that Adachi had tightly squeezed her hand. Shimamura turned to look at her—about to ask if she wanted anything and why she squeezed her hand—and then she saw the look on Adachi’s face.
Her eyes were staring intently at the screen and there was a bright blush covering her face. Shimamura doubted Adachi had even meant to squeeze her hand, it was instead an unconscious action. The male actor cupped the actress’s face with his hands and Adachi held her breath. He leaned forward and when his lips finally met hers there was a palpable joy in the theater, but Adachi didn’t relax and rejoice with the audience and her body held that quiet tension.
That’s right.
People who are a couple kiss each other. It seemed so obvious, but it had genuinely slipped past Shimamura’s mind. Did Adachi want to kiss her? Is that what she was thinking of when she asked Shimamura out? That would be the reasonable assumption. In fact, Shimamura was sure it was the correct one—Adachi wanted to kiss her. The realization caused a strange feeling to stir within Shimamura, but she wasn’t sure what to make of it.
Did she want to kiss Adachi? She tried to imagine it in her mind, but she couldn’t. How could she imagine something that she had never felt before? She knew that it was meant to be enjoyable, especially if done with someone you loved but Shimamura had no reference to guide her. She didn’t know if she wanted to kiss Adachi, but if Adachi asked her she knew she wouldn’t say no.
And a part of her was definitely curious.
The kiss scene continued; it hadn’t been that long since it began. And it seemed that Adachi had realized that she was being stared at, because her eyes slowly turned and Shimamura found herself looking into Adachi’s eyes. She squeaked and quickly turned back to the movie; she avoided looking at Shimamura for the rest of the film and Shimamura knew that Adachi was extremely self-conscious of her.
Adachi’s hand had become warm and sweaty in Shimamura’s despite the cool temperature of the theater. That was one thing that Shimamura liked about Adachi so much; she was always honest and Shimamura tended to know what she was thinking and feeling even if Adachi didn’t say anything.
The movie eventually ended, but Shimamura wasn’t sure exactly what had happened in the last fifteen minutes as she had been entirely focused on Adachi. They left the theater in tense silence and it seemed like Adachi might spend the rest of the date silently embarrassed.
“Did you enjoy the movie?” Shimamura asked.
Adachi nodded. Shimamura sighed at the response and Adachi seemed to realize her error as she quickly corrected herself. “Yes! Um, did you? Enjoy the movie, I mean.”
“Sure,” Shimamura was half-tempted to bring up the kiss scene; Adachi looked so meek and small that she wondered how she’d react when so directly confronted by it, but Shimamura decided against it. The topic would come up eventually and she certainly didn’t need to press the issue. “Where do you want to go next?”
Adachi struggled with her purse as she pulled out a piece of paper; it clearly had a list of activities on it. Shimamura resisted the urge to giggle at the sight. “Well,” Adachi’s eyes scanned down the list. “We could go eat, but after the popcorn …”
“I’m not hungry just yet.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Um, then … there’s the arcade or we could just do some shopping. Umm ....” Adachi looked like she was going to begin reading off the entire list so Shimamura quickly agreed with the shopping. It would be fun to see Adachi in a bunch of cute outfits, so they went to a clothing outlet.
Neither Adachi nor Shimamura were the type to shop frequently for clothes nor were they particularly fashionable, so at first they both kind of struggled to find anything among the masses of various apparel items. Shimamura found an adorable shirt with a dopey bear face on it for herself as well as a nice dress with a floral pattern. She mostly wanted to dress up Adachi though and picked out a variety of clothes that she thought would look good on her or at the very least cause her to become flustered. Adachi’s face became a startling shade of scarlet when Shimamura jokingly pointed out a strapless dress for her to try on.
After about an hour of searching, Shimamura had successfully gotten Adachi to try on a skirt and top. She awkwardly swayed in the clothes as she looked into the mirror, her eyes occasionally peeking up above from the floor before quickly returning.
“You look really cute.” Shimamura attempted to reassure her, but that just seemed to make Adachi more nervous.
“T-thanks,” she stammered. Her pink lips trembled around the word; they looked like they would be soft to the touch and Shimamura remembered her earlier question. She hadn’t planned on voicing it, but in that moment she wanted an answer and couldn’t think of a reason not to seek it.
“Adachi,” Shimamura waited until Adachi’s eyes were looking at her before continuing. “You asked me out, so have you ever imagined kissing me?”
Adachi’s face turned redder than Shimamura had ever seen it. It was a particularly interesting shade and Shimamura stepped closer to Adachi to get a better look, but that just caused Adachi to blush even harder. “Uhh,” Adachi struggled to speak and everytime she did she’d stutter profusely. It took a while, and Shimamura was patient, but finally Adachi simply nodded in response.
“Hmm.” It wasn’t surprising, but still, having the confirmation was interesting nonetheless. How often did Adachi imagine it? When did she start? Shimamura hadn’t asked, but she had gotten the impression that Adachi had been wanting to ask her out for a while.
“You … don’t mind?”
“I don’t mind. We are going out after all.” Adachi didn’t respond, so Shimamura continued. “What do you imagine?”
“W-what?”
“Kissing. How do you imagine it? What do you think it feels like?” Shimamura asked the question rather casually. She was somewhat aware of the unusualness of her query, but they were already two girls going out—being “not normal” wasn’t really a concern for her anymore.
“Uh, I-I don’t know—just … kissing.” Adachi looked like she was starting to grow faint. “W-what about you? Have you ever thought about ...”
“Kissing?” Shimamura finished for her. Adachi nodded and Shimamura hummed in response. “Not really.” Adachi seemed to shrink under those words. “Ah, I mean, I can’t really imagine something I’ve never done, y’know.”
“That makes sense.” Adachi nodded. There was a long silence and it seemed that the conversation was finally finished. Adachi began to speak; she seemed to be suggesting they go for lunch, but Shimamura wasn’t yet ready to leave the discussion.
“Should we kiss?”
Adachi didn’t say anything at first. Her expression didn’t even change and Shimamura wondered if she even heard her—should she repeat herself? But then it seemed that her words were finally comprehended and Adachi’s eyes practically bulged from her head as they turned into round saucers. “W-what?”
Shimamura shrugged, “We are going out. Couples kiss, don’t they?”
“They do, but … I—” Adachi looked all around them. There were fellow customers walking around and a couple of store clerks standing. “Here? Right now?”
“Hmm. That’s a good point. It’s too crowded here.” Adachi released a sigh of relief, but then Shimamura grabbed Adachi’s hand, pulled a couple random articles of clothes from the shelves, and walked right up to the dressing room. “We’ll try these on,” Shimamura told the clerk who politely nodded at them as Shimamura pulled Adachi into a private dressing room, locking the door behind them.
It was at this point that Shimamura wondered if that was perhaps the best course of action. Adachi seemed close to fainting and Shimamura wouldn’t even be half-surprised if she did. She rarely acted so impulsively—she wouldn’t at all consider herself an impulsive person, not even a little bit—but Shimamura realized that pulling Adachi into this stall was certainly an impulsive action. She felt a little bad, especially since Adachi seemed so uncomfortable.
She mostly wanted to do it for Adachi’s sake anyway. Sure, she was curious about it herself, but it had been something Adachi had been imagining by her own admission. Shimamura just wanted Adachi to be happy and she thought a kiss would do that for her. Had she perhaps been a bit presumptuous? Just because they were dating didn’t mean they had to kiss.
“Sorry,” Shimamura said. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
“No …” Adachi squirmed in place. “I … want to …”
“Yeah?” Shimamura smiled and felt her heart begin to race. Why was her heart beating so fast? She wasn’t sure, but she didn’t really want to think about it.
“Yeah,” Adachi nodded. She was no longer looking at Shimamura and instead was staring straight at the floor.
Shimamura had been the one to initiate this, but she wasn’t actually sure what she was supposed to do. Did she just press her lips forward? It didn’t seem that hard, but it felt rather difficult. She remembered how the kiss went in the film and placed her hands on Adachi’s face, cupping her cheeks. Adachi released a soft whine and slammed her eyes shut. She looked really cute.
Her skin felt warm and soft in Shimamura’s hands. Her thumb gently stroked the skin and it felt so smooth and pliable. Shimamura used to be envious of Adachi’s perfect skin, but the feeling she felt at the moment wasn’t jealousy. She wasn’t sure what it was, but it stirred inside her and made her insides flutter. Was she excited?
She slowly leaned forward and at some point during the journey her own eyes closed. It probably didn’t even last a second, but the wait felt much longer; Shimamura’s lips finally met Adachi’s and— Oh! Adachi’s lips were soft. Shimamura had no idea what to expect—couldn’t even imagine it—but the kiss was good. Really good.
There was a spark that lit her entire body alight when their lips touched. She felt her entire body burn with the kiss as she pressed her lips into Adachi’s. They were so soft, but it wasn’t just Adachi’s lips. Her face was soft in Shimamura’s hands and she could feel the faint outline of her body as they pressed closer together. Shimamura had thought kissing was just about the lips, but it was so much more. Her entire body was buzzing with energy.
She wanted more, but she wasn’t sure what more meant.
She felt her face grow warm and her entire body grew hotter as well. She briefly parted from Adachi’s lips, but then surged forward again. She stayed like that for a long while, her hands that were cupping Adachi’s cheeks moved behind her head and neck—pulling her closer. Adachi hadn’t moved the entire time, but finally she began to move with Shimamura. Her hands lifted from her sides and gripped Shimamura’s shirt as her lips softly moved against Shimamura’s.
She wasn’t sure how long they were joined together, but eventually they parted for breath.
Adachi was breathing quite heavily, her face was flushed, and her eyes seemed brighter. Shimamura didn’t realize how disheveled she was, but behind Adachi was the mirror and she could see her own red face reflected in it. And Adachi’s hands were still holding onto her shirt.
“That was nice.”
“N-nice?” Adachi stammered.
“Yup,” Shimamura looked down at Adachi’s hands and debated holding them, but before she could decide Adachi let go.
“Um … what now?”
Shimamura hummed in response. “Hmm. I’m kind of hungry now. Let’s finish up and then find something to eat.”
“F-finish up?”
“Yeah, finish up shopping.”
“Oh … yeah, let’s do that.”
Adachi looked really cute. Hmm, did she think that a lot? Shimamura felt she must have thought that a lot today. Well, Adachi was cute so it made sense she thought about it frequently. She grabbed Adachi’s hand and together they walked out of the stall. They quickly finished their purchases and began to search for a good place to eat.
Her lips were still tingling from the kiss and she wondered if it was obvious from her face what had occurred. She kind of wanted to kiss Adachi again.