Chapter Text
Enjolras created this group chat.
Enjolras added Grantaire, Bahorel, Bossuet, Combeferre, Cosette, Courfeyrac, Eponine, Feuilly, Jehan, Joly, Marius, Musichetta .
Enjorlas changed the group name to ABC .
Grantaire changed his name to R
R: Easy as 123?
Musichetta: Simple as do re mi
Enjolras: What?
Courfeyrac: This is SUCH a good idea omg
Courfeyrac changed his name to Courf
Courf: we can talk all the time now!
Enjolras: No. This is just so we can communicate efficiently, but it has to remain strictly related to ABC issues.
R: Wow I fucked up even before I knew I could
R: do I win something
Musichetta: I want matching names with my boys
Joly: how do you change the name?
Musichetta: w8 ill google it
Enjolras changed his name to E
Bossuet: quick we are getting outmatched
Combeferre: I don’t think you know what that word means
Musichetta: quick
Joly: frickkkk
Joly changed his name to One
Bossuet changed his name to Two
Musichetta changed his name to Three
Two: hell yea
Three: I feel like no one will ever know which one of us is which
One: we are like the holy trinity
One: three and one atst
Two: loooool
Two: im two bc i have two partners
Three: so do we love
R: OT3
E: why don’t I ever understand what you are saying, Grantaire?
R: i stay mysterious to keep you interested
E: I’m just confused
R: and i try omg do i try
One: I’m one bc I’m the smaller
E: you try to confuse me?
Three: Bossuet is two because he is the second boy
R: let go apollo, ill explain in person
R: what boy number am I??
Two: hell yea! I like being in the middle
One: bahahaha
Courf: id say tmi but im living for all of this
Combeferre changed his name to Fer
Fer: Guys, just a second.
Fer: We need to talk about tomorrow
E: The march starts at 8.30, we were thinking of going a solid hour before to see if something needs to be done.
R: IN THE MORNING?
E: Of course
Courf: I’ll bring coffee, R
Fer: you can come whenever you want, me and E are going to be there since 7 probably.
Jehan: I’ll be there at 7 too, I can help make the signs
R: fuck
R: aight Je sleepover so we can get up together?
Jehan: yeah!
Eponine: the fuck is this
Eponine changes his name to Ponine
Ponine: omg E I didnt take you for a sly guy
E: what did I do?
Ponine: you know what you did
R: pls dont
E: I genuinely don’t? I don’t like that no one is explaining me things.
Private chat R; E
R: The first thing we said was a pop song, don’t worry about it
R: OT3 is the term you use to describe your favourite three people being together
R: I try omg do I try is another song, sort of a meme, I was just being silly
R: Eponine is just teasing because it might look like our names match
E: oh
E: thank you
R: np
ABC
Ponine: ill bring food I guess? Can’t saty too long
Ponine: stay*
Ponine: gtg at 11
E: it’s fine, is it Gavroche?
Ponine: yup
E: you could bring him, you know? It’s an extremely peaceful march.
Ponine: how long will it last?
Ponine: Maybe we can join later again
Three : @R you are boy ten for obvious reasons
Ponine: not before tho
E: that’s fine
Fer: it should last until 12, I’d say don’t bother, I don’t think you even have time to come back
R : @Three ily but what?
Private chat: R; E.
E: it’s because you are a 10 out of ten
R: ex fucking scuse me?
R: aaaaaa
R: jfc
E: what?
R: nothing, thank you for explaining
ABC
Two: I second that
One: I thirdond that
Jehan: I fourth(onde?) that
Jehan: Joly sometimes I love you more than I think its possible
One: ihihihih
Marius: wow this was a surprise
Cosette: quick recap?
Fer: tomorrow the march starts at 8.30, a few of us will be there since 7am, breakfast is taken care of, grantaire is a 10/10
Cosette changed his name to Courgette
Marius: I love you so much
Courgette: as you should
R: ferre wtf?
Marius: how do you change your name?
Courgette changed Marius name to Baron
Baron: thanks love
Courgette: np babe
Ponine: you can change other people’s names?????
R: stop. No.
Courf changed Bahorel name to Bruhrel
R: that is so bad
Jehan: we still love u courf
Two: I think it’s a good pun
Three: you think any pun is a good pun
Two: i do not
Three: do too
Two: you mean do two?
Thee: ok that was clever
E: are we all going tomorrow?
Jehan: Feuilly leaves tomorrow at 10 so I don’t think
R: shit shit shit
R: I wanted to give him a lift
R: can i have half an hour
R: during the protest
R: pls
E: who are you asking?
R: I’m asking dad
Fer: you can, just charge your phone otherwise we will never find you again
R: thanks dad
E: why is he dad? I could be dad
R: dont put shit in my mind apollo
E: can I be mom then? What qualifications are needed?
Ponine: are u for real
Private chat Ponine; R
Ponine: you cannot
Ponine: possibly
Ponine: think
Ponine: he’s that disingenuous
R: trust me, he’s worse
Ponine: I will never believe it
R: you’ll see
ABC
R: you can be mom, but you have to be a cool mom
E: I’m cool, I’d be the coolest mom.
E: I don’t think I’d make a cool dad however.
R: let’s never associate you with the paternal archetype for the sake of my sanity
Jehan: the paternal archetype
Jehan: i’ll write a poem about it
R: please never let me see it
Jehan: I’ll dedicate it to you my sweet child
E: will it be about ‘Ferre?
Jehan: definitely not
R: we are strongly diverting from the ABC issues that are actually what this group chat is all about
Ponine: Bahorel will be there
Ponine: all done
Ponine: we can go back to jehan’s poems
R: jfc
E: can you send it here when it’s done? We could all use some artistic intermission
R: tu quoque??
One: Stop bullying taire
One: we do not kinkshame in this group
R: I WAS NOT BEING KINKSHAMED OMFG
Three: we have to go, Bossuet is laughing so hard he might have an asthma attack
One: frick, I’ll get the inhaler
E: Kinkshaming is strongly against the ABC ideals
E: and so is bullying
Fer: absolutely
Fer: Grantaire, your kinks are welcome here
R: thanks, daddy
Fer: fuck
Courf: I can’t believe I missed all this glory
Ponine: wyd???
Courf: a few last minute things for tomorrow
Courf: there’s a dickhead that doesn’t want enj on
Courf: but doesnt give me a reason why
E: who are they?
Courf: Claquesous?
E: oh my god
Courf: what?
Courf: do you know him?
Courf: what did you do?
E: I’ll tell you in private
Ponine: noooooooo we want to know
R: wait the name sounds familiar
R: wasn’t he hitting on apollo
R: like last friday
Ponine: oof
Private chat Courf; E
E: he got handsy
E: with taire
E: while he was drunk and super uncomfortable with it
Courf: omfg
Courf: the curly asshole?
Courf: I remember him
E: ikr
E: I took care of it
E: they threw him out of the bar
Courf: good
E: I guess he remembers us
ABC
Ponine: was it a hit and run Enj?
E: you could say that
Ponine: oh
Courf: I don’t think he knows what you mean ep
Private chat Ponine; R
Ponine: u ok?
R: no :))))
R: i should be tho
R: this is stupid
R: I’m an idiot
Ponine: I’m sorry R
R: I should just get over it
R: get over him
R: fuck fuck fuck im pathetic
R: but please change the subject
ABC
Ponine: where is Feuilly going?
E: I’d even do it again. It was extremely satisfying.
Ponine: tmi?
Courf: Don’t listen to him
R: spain i think
R: then portugal
R: then italy
Ponine: that’s a nice trip
R: love u
Ponine: love u more
R: love u most
Jehan: that fucking dickhead
Courf: you were there too?
Jehan: I took grantaire home
Courf: right
E: he can’t just cut us off. Someone else can speak in my place
R: what’s the problem? You already said you want to see him again
R: just tell him
R: so he’ll give u the spot to talk
Jehan: omg wait did you actually hit him?
Courf: wait did you actually??
R: wait what
E: the ABC does not incur in any violent activity if not for the purpose of defence and self defence
Ponine : @Courf wow he really did not know what I meant
Courf: told u
Jehan: fuck I wanted to see it
R: You punched the guy that hit on you?
R: did he do something?
R: did you tell someone?
E: I told the people of the bar, they threw him out.
R: fuck
R: I’m sorry E
E: literally nothing you should feel sorry about
Private chat Jehan; R
Jehan: R, I think you should know
Jehan: Enj probably didn’t want to discuss it in the group
Jehan: bc he didnt want to upset you
R:????
Private chat E; R
E: He didn’t hit on me, he tried something with you
E: you were uncomfortable
E: so I took care of it.
E: I don’t want to go into details, you don’t remember and he won’t bother you again
E: but I felt like you had the right to know
E: and if you want the details, you know, I’m here
Private chat Jehan; R
R: thank you, he’s telling me right now in private
Jehan: oh, good.
Jehan: we were all a bit unsure
Jehan: but I think telling you was the right thing to do
R: it was
R: it is
R: love u
Private chat E; R
E: I’m sorry.
R: it’s ok
R: thanks for telling me
E: are you ok?
R: were you ever going to tell me if it didn’t come up in the chat?
E: honestly idk, I’ve been thinking about what was the right thing to do since friday
R: you are a good man, enjolras
R: thank you
R: telling me was the right thing to do
R: can you
R: uhm
R: describe it to me?
R: in a way that is not too graphic possibly?
E: first of all, you were clearly uncomfortable with even talking to him, so even that alone
E: but he got handsy
E: he didn’t get very far, I stopped him the second he started
E: but you very clearly didn’t want to be touched
R: did he touch me skin on skin?
E: no, over your clothes
R: ok. That makes me feel better a little
E: taire. Do you want someone to come over
R: theres no need
E: I’m such an idiot, I’ll be there in ten
R: thanks
E: pick up, i’m calling you on my way
“Hello?”
“R, I’m such an asshole, I should have talked to you in person.”
“Did he grope me?”
“Can it wait until I’m there?”
“I’d rather not talk about it anymore when you get here.”
“Ok he.. He kind of tried to hug you. He tried to grab your butt.”
“Ok. Nothing else?”
“Nothing else.”
“Thank you for stopping him.”
“As I said, it was extremely satisfying.”
*laughs*
“I wish I’d seen you punch someone. I can’t picture it.”
“I wish it didn’t happen altogether”
“I’m fine now. Where are you?"
"At the traffic light next to the bookshop. Two minutes."
"This is kind of stupid. I'm fine. You didn't need to come."
"One minute."
"Don't run stupid."
"I'm- not- running"
"Is it the idea of being welcomed into my humble abode that is leaving you out of breath then?"
"Sure let's- go with- that"
"The elevator is out of order.".
"Buzz me in"
"You have to take the stairs."
"See you in 20 seconds"
Private chat R; Ponine
R: apollo just left my flat
Ponine: oho?
R: he came to check on me. What is my life
Ponine: why did he need to check on u?
R: ill tell u in person tomorrow
R: im super fine
R: dw
R: we watched a movie ep
Ponine: did he do the thing
R: ?
Ponine: the thing
Ponine: with the arm
Ponine: pls read my mind idk how to explain it
R: is this conv still pg 13?
Ponine: u idiot
Ponine: the arm on the couch like fake yawn arm around u thing come on r
R: oh
R: no he didn't
Ponine: pity
R: because we were sorta
R: like
R: shoulder against shoulder? Half lying on the couch
R: one could argue it was a few seconds from cuddling
Ponine: omfg he is a sly bastard
R: nah
R: he came to comfort me
Ponine: sure jan
R: platonic cuddles are a thing
Ponine: whatever u say boss
Ponine: so u are on cloud nine?
R: 12 at least
R: we watched mamma mia
R: he almost sanf abba
R: sang*
Ponine: you get turned on by the weirdest shit istg
R: don't soil this evening with such unworthy ideas
Ponine: jfc
R: i witnessed a god experiencing mortal life
R: he was so cute ep
R: he asked me things about the plot
Ponine: you are ridiculous
Ponine: but i get it
R: mamma mia is now my favourite movie
Ponine: no its not u dweeb
Private chat R; E
E: they didn't put waterloo in the movie
R: omfg
R: do you listen to abba regularly and never told me?
E: I just like that one, and I just realized it wasn't in the movie
R: its in the second one
E: oh! We should watch that one too, then
R: whenever u want dude
R: on the condition that you sing it out loud
E: deal.
Private chat R; Ponine
R: one could argue
R: that i have a date
Ponine: what
R: with enjolras?
Ponine: WHAT
R sent a screenshot
Ponine: one day i will be able to tell u i told u so.