Chapter Text
“So I have to ask the question.”
“Go ahead.”
“Sirius Black—”
“Gesundheit.”
Benjy snorted and Remus couldn’t help but find it exceedingly charming. “My question is: should I expect Sirius Black to storm in here and try to beat the shit out of me?”
Remus averted his eyes and shrugged. “Why? Do you owe him money or something?”
“No but I do have something of his and I have a feeling he’ll want it back.”
“Sirius isn’t my boyfriend and I am certainly not his property.” The matter of whether Remus wanted to be was completely irrelevant. He added, “I wouldn’t be here with you if I had a boyfriend.”
“I know,” Benjy agreed hastily, “It’s just that I’ve seen you with him and I know how guys like Sirius are…”
“Yeah, well,” Remus shrugged with an air of nonchalance he did not feel, “Sirius dates other people—a lot of other people. It’d be more than a little hypocritical for him to be mad at me for doing the same.”
“Yeah but—”
“Just to be clear,” Remus cut in sharply, “If I wanted to talk about Sirius, I’d call Sirius. I’m here with you because I think you’re a cool guy and honestly? I’m done with hookups. I’m at a point where I want something...committed and substantial. My relationship with Sirius Black is neither of those things. Furthermore, if things were to progress to that point with someone else, Sirius would definitely be out of the picture. So please let’s stop talking about him.”
“Of course,” Benjy conceded, looking extremely pleased despite Remus’ annoyance.
Letting out a small sigh of relief, Remus began, “So you were telling me about that case at work? The one with...”
The words died off in his throat because in the brief millisecond he glanced away from Benjy, Remus found his gaze locked with that of Peter “Wormtail” Pettigrew, defensive linebacker for the Gryffindor Lions, Social Chair of Kappa Tau, and close personal friend of Sirius Black. He looked just as shocked as Remus felt, and broke contact only when the waitress called back his attention.
“...the single father,” Remus finished.
Benjy, however, didn’t seem to notice Remus’ mental lapse, and happily jumped into his story without pause.
---
A couple of hours later found them parked in front of Remus’ apartment building. Remus debated inviting Benjy up for “coffee” since the date had gone very well (Sirius discussions aside) but ultimately decided against it. He wanted a relationship that wasn’t based around sex. It may be outmoded but he thought putting out on the first date would probably start his hunt off on the wrong foot.
Instead, he said, “Escape From Azkaban looks sick. We should see it next weekend.”
“That'd be great—“
Abruptly, the ring of Remus’ cell phone vibrated throughout the car. Remus glanced down to check the name, felt his cheeks flame, and silenced the call.
Benjy offered a wry grin. “Is it Sirius coming to collect?”
“I don’t know what Sirius is up to because I’m here with you.” The word ‘you’ was undercut by the ring of a second phone call. Again, Remus hastily ignored it, then smiled extra-wide, knowing that his dimples were always his best means of distraction.
Naturally, Benjy leaned forward, eyes slightly glazed, and stopped a mere breath away from Remus’ face. “Can I kiss you?”
Remus answered by closing the distance himself. A few seconds later Benjy was moaning into his mouth and Remus was discovering that he much liked kissing him. His lips were a little chapped but his hands were gentle and—
Ring… Ring… Ring…
With a growl, Remus pulled away and stabbed the ‘decline’ button. He and Benjy stared at each other for a few quiet beats, both silently amazed that Sirius had managed to successfully kill the mood from whichever house-party in Malibu he happened to be at that night.
"I had a really great time," Remus eventually offered lamely.
The calls didn't stop until he reached his apartment (alone) but Remus still allowed himself to push the irritation aside and evaluate the date. The night went better than he had expected. Benjy was sweet and thoughtful, not careless, arrogant, or demanding. And he was cute in an Adrien Brody kind of way, not so handsome that he looked more like a Roman God than a college student. Not to mention, Benjy was funny without being so sharp-tongued that conversation felt like a ping-pong match.
Remus smiled to himself. His dating life did not revolve around Sirius Black, regardless of what Benjy and Sirius himself seemed to think.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Remus almost tripped around the sweatpants he was trying to pull on. Heart hammering, he hastily finished dressing and ambled to the front door. "Fuck," he whispered to himself, knowing who it was without having to check the peephole.
Sure enough, on the other side of the door stood Sirius Black, tall and looming and furious. But—before Remus could offer a stuttering greeting—Sirius pulled him into a crushing kiss and Remus’ tension dissipated considerably.
Sirius was just drunk and horny, as per usual.
Remus relaxed into the familiar embrace and even let out a pleased mew when Sirius began groping his backside. The thought that he should feel shame for letting Sirius have his way with him not half an hour after a date with another man crossed his mind; however, he batted it away with the fact that he was by far not the biggest slut in the room.
Eventually, Sirius pulled away, looking a little disoriented.
Remus smiled. He did that. "Good evening to you too, sir."
And then Sirius' striking grey eyes narrowed into slits. He stormed through the door and seemed to reach the bedroom in two strides of his long legs. With a dramatic flair that made Remus want to laugh, he threw the door open. Visibly deflating, Sirius stomped over to the bathroom with the same determination only to achieve the same results.
Remus waited until Sirius was on his hands and knees checking under his bed to cut in. "Did you lose something?"
"Where did you go tonight?" Sirius demanded.
So Sirius did know. And he was angry like Benjy had predicted. But what was the point of coming over here if Remus might have someone over? Was...was Sirius looking for Benjy? Did he think Remus was hiding a boy under his bed like a guilty sixteen-year-old? Despite the circumstances, Remus found the image slightly hilarious. But what was Sirius going to do if he found him? That thought was terrifying.
"Um, why?" was the only thing Remus could think of to reply.
“I called you." Sirius accused, "You didn’t answer.”
“Yeah, I was busy.”
“With Benjy Fenwick?”
“Yes, actually,” Remus replied tightly. How’d Sirius even know Benjy’s name? “How’d you know?”
“I have my sources,” Sirius replied darkly.
Fucking Pettigrew. “I swear, you and your friends gossip more than a group of middle school girls.”
“They were just looking out for me.”
Remus snorted. “Looking out for you...?”
“They thought I should know that you’re fucking around behind my back.”
Remus was so caught off guard by the ridiculousness of the statement that he burst out laughing. “Oh no, no, no, honey. That’s not how this is going to go down.” If Sirius wanted to talk about fucking around behind each other’s backs then they would talk about fucking around behind each other’s backs.
“Sirius, did you or did you not sit me down when we first started dating and tell me you weren’t looking for a relationship?” Yes, after relentlessly pursuing his way right into Remus’ pants, Sirius had not waited even twenty-four hours to make his intentions clear.
Sirius tried to cut in, “Well, just because—”
“Did you or did you not take Evan Rosier to your cousin’s wedding last month?” That one had hurt. Remus had known he wasn’t Sirius’ one and only but he at least thought he was number one on the fucking roster.
“You were out of town—”
“Did you or did not you not hook up with Ludo Bagman in Colorado over Christmas Break?” It had not been lost on Remus that while he was working double shifts at Best Buy to afford Christmas presents, Sirius had been shacked up in his family home in Aspen with the star-quarterback of USC.
And he wasn’t done.
“Did you or did you not hook up with Gilderoy Lockhart in Ravenclaw Library last weekend and get seen by five people?” Remus got to hear about that one from Gilderoy himself, who also volunteered at the student union and was incredibly jealous of Remus and eager to one-up him at any opportunity. It was that very day Remus decided to finally take up Benjy Fenwick’s offer of dinner and a movie.
Sirius at least seemed appropriately abashed. “In my defense—”
Remus didn’t care. “So, no. You’re not going to come into my house in a possessive rage and accuse me of ‘fucking around behind your back.’ As far as I’m concerned, whatever I do with Benjy Fenwick or whoever else is none of your business. If—God forbid—I want to be taken on an actual date once in a while, I will do so happily with zero remorse.”
Remus was hot and smart and funny and kind. He did not need to play arm candy to the most entitled fuckboy at Hogsmeade University. He reached the front door without even realizing he was moving. “I think you should leave now.”
Sirius seemed like he wanted to offer one last rebuttal but Remus silenced him with another fierce glare. He finally made leave with his tail between his legs but that wasn’t enough for Remus. “Hey!” he called and Sirius turned around swiftly. “By the way,” he drawled, “you forgot to check my shower.” And then he shut the door with a satisfying slam.
Really, it was all Lily’s fault.
They were already in an Uber halfway to Downtown for their first Girls-Plus-Remus-Night-Out of senior year when Lily admitted she needed to make a detour. Remus didn’t ask where because he already knew.
“I forgot my wallet last night! I swear I’ll just be in and out,” she promised, though her fair skin was tinged red with what Remus knew to be excitement.
He rolled his eyes and held back a puff.
James Potter was cool and all but Remus had no interest in sitting in a hot car for thirty minutes while the boy kneeled at Lily’s feet and told her how wonderful she was. (Lily was wonderful but there was a time and place, and tonight was already reserved for tacos and margaritas at Las Fuentes.)
“Besides,” Lily added slyly, “Marlene texted me when we left and said she and the girls are running late. We might as well stop and pregame with some free booze, right?”
This time, Remus did not bother to hold back his puff of annoyance.
Lily merely laughed. “You’re so cute when you do that.”
They pulled up to James’ house about ten minutes later and Remus let out a short gasp. “This is James’ house?”
He knew James was well-off. Potter hair care products were probably used in every household in America, after all. But still, it amazed him that someone his age could be in possession of a house that looked like it should have its own spread in Architectural Digest.
“We can drink in the gazebo out in the garden,” Lily sing-songed as they reached the cherry wood door.
“You bitch,” Remus muttered. She was using his obsession with Zillow against him and it wasn’t fair.
She laughed her beautiful laugh, then tapped out a code onto a little touch screen located beside the doorbell. The thought that Lily very likely might marry James one day and actually live in a house like this suddenly hit Remus. It was a nice thought but one that filled Remus with the awareness that they were one school year away from adulthood. It made his breath catch.
The door unlocked with a click and Lily led him through a high arched foyer. “Evans!” a voice that did not belong to James called from somewhere deeper in the house. “Can you please tell your lap dog that he and I can’t crash your girls dinner? I spent the summer in Acapulco and if I see one more taco I might—oh,” the voice came to a stop as its body appeared before Remus and Lily.
It was a nice body. Nice and tall and broad-shouldered with a face that was movie-star handsome and black hair that looked perfect for running one’s hands through.
The mystery man seemed to like what he saw too. He ran his sparkling grey eyes up and down Remus gleefully. “On second thought,” he grinned, “one can never have too many tacos, right?”
“Remus,” Lily sighed. “This is my boyfriend’s boyfriend, Sirius Black. Sirius, this is my best friend, Remus Lupin—please stop drooling.”
In other words, Remus’ heartache was all Lily’s fault and therefore he could not think of one reason why she should be smiling so dopily at him as he recounted the weekend’s events.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” he snapped.
“No reason,” Lily chirped.
Remus sighed and returned to the notes scattered across the library table before him.
“So have you heard from him since?” she asked.
“He’s been calling and texting non-stop.”
“When are you going to put him out of his misery?”
Remus narrowed his eyes.
“What?” Lily shrugged. “If you really didn’t want to talk to him you’d block him.”
She had him there.
Like a shark in the water, Lily sensed his weakness and attacked. “I just—I think he’s genuinely sorry for what he said.”
“You’re the one who’s been telling me to break things off with him since the beginning,” he laughed bitterly, adding, “even though it’s all your fault in the first place.”
Lily ignored the jab. “Look, I know I said that but that was before…”
“Before what?”
She got that same dopey look on her face. “Before you put him in his place and showed him what he has to lose.”
Remus groaned. “That’s so cringy, Lily.”
“I wasn’t going to say anything,” Lily sang, bouncing in her seat with excitement, “but he wants to change for you. Really. And I can tell he’s not bullshitting. You know I can always tell when someone’s bullshitting.”
Remus couldn’t even comprehend what she was saying. “I,” he started slowly, “have already decided that I need to move on from Sirius.”
You would have thought Remus had just told Lily he was dying for how far her face dropped.
“Just give him a chance,” she pleaded.
“I need to move on,” Remus repeated evenly.
It was Monday morning and Remus was doing what he did every Monday morning—scrambling around his apartment looking for textbooks and scrounging for food to last him until his dinner break. Just when he realized there was nothing in his kitchen except for a bag of Fritos and some lettuce, a knock came at his door.
Remus groaned. He did not have time to help Next Door Irma fix the brightness level on her tablet nor the patience to listen to Upstairs Snape’s noise complaints. He didn’t even have time to grab a quick bite to eat and he was starving. With a huff, he swung the door open, realizing a second too late that it could be Sirius coming to corner him again.
He needn’t have worried though because a man Remus had never met before stood in the doorway with a cup of coffee and a to-go bag.
“Sorry,” Remus said, “I didn’t order anything. I think you have the wrong door.”
“Remus Lupin?” The man asked, checking the receipt. “221B?”
“Uh, yeah but—”
“A friend of yours called in the order. Said it was a surprise!” The man smiled. “All paid for, including tip.”
Remus dazedly thanked the man and brought the haul to his kitchen table to take inventory: large Caffe Mocha, chocolate croissant, and to Remus’ surprise, a cold cut sandwich with chips and a banana.
“You sly fucker,” Remus muttered but couldn’t hold back a grin as he packed the sandwich in his bag for later.
The next day it rained. Hard.
Remus liked the rain when he was allowed to stay home in sweats and binge watch Lifetime all day; not so much when he had a full schedule of classes directly followed by a closing shift at the bookstore and was supposed to bus it the whole way.
He was outside his apartment building fighting with his umbrella when a neatly-dressed man approached him. “Remus Lupin?”
Taking a startled step back, Remus warily replied, “Can I help you?”
“I work for Hogsmeade Car Service. I’ve been hired by Sirius Black to transport you for the day.”
“I—what?” Remus stuttered.
The man spoke again, smiling pleasantly. “My name’s Jerry and I’m yours until midnight.” Sensing Remus’ hesitance, he added, “I’ve already been paid in full with a very generous tip. Please don’t be shy; this is my job.”
As he and Jerry waited in the McDonald’s drive-through ten minutes later, Remus took a surreptitious picture of the luxury car and sent it to Lily with the message: Your boy’s good, I’ll give him that.
Quick as a flash, Lily replied: *YOUR boy!
Remus didn’t respond but allowed himself to enjoy the gentle pitter-patter of rain against the ceiling.
It had been a full week since the fight when Remus got home to find an Edible Arrangement waiting for him beside his door. Just as he reached down to check the card, a voice broke through the silence of the hallway, “They’re all chocolate instead of just a few.”
Remus whipped around. Though he was caught off guard at that moment, he had been expecting Sirius to pop up sooner or later. The constant texts as well as the extravagant gifts had only increased, so an in-person visit was right on schedule.
“Remember?” Sirius prodded. He was wearing his leather jacket and holding his bike helmet in his hand, though you’d never guess he actually wore it by the artful tousle of his hair. “When we had one that day at James’ place and you said the only thing that would make it better was if they were all covered in chocolate?”
Remus did remember; he was just surprised that Sirius did too. “Hello, Sirius,” Remus struggled to make his voice sound smooth instead of breathy, “What are you doing here?”
Sirius grinned hopefully. “I wanted to make sure you were getting my gifts. My texts have been unanswered so…”
“So maybe you should’ve taken the hint,” Remus said, turning his back to Sirius to unlock his door. Sirius grabbed the arrangement and followed him inside without invitation.
“No kiss hello?” Sirius joked weakly.
Remus rolled his eyes but otherwise remained impassive.
He already knew he was going to take Sirius back. Yes, it was a bad idea. Yes, it was counterproductive to the boyfriend mission. Yes, it would probably—scratch that—definitely leave him with a broken heart. But he missed Sirius. And what harm would it do to fool around with him before settling down with someone like Benjy? Besides, Remus was a big boy—he could handle the consequences.
Sirius made a reach for one of the chocolate-covered strawberries in the arrangement. Remus swatted him away with the reflexes of a cat. “I thought those were for me?” he hissed.
Still, it was only fair to make Sirius suffer for at least a little bit longer.
“What the fuck?”
“What?” Sirius wondered, leaning in to press a kiss to Remus’ cheek.
“You’re all dressed up,” Remus accused, looking from Sirius’ crisp linen button-down to his own joggers and sweatshirt.
“I said I wanted to take you out!” Sirius laughed and held out a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates.
Remus’ eyes all but bugged out of his head. “What are those?”
“Sweets for my sweet,” Sirius replied cheerfully. He pulled Remus in for a full kiss on the mouth, but before he could shove his tongue down Remus’ throat and effectively distract him from the matter at hand, Remus extracted himself.
“I’m going to change,” he grumbled.
Sirius simply nodded and plopped down on Remus’ couch to wait. When he didn’t utter some variant of “Can I watch?” Remus shuffled away, sniffing at the flowers suspiciously. In the privacy of his bedroom, he took the opportunity to panic.
When Sirius asked him out for the night, Remus had assumed Sirius meant for a bar crawl that would inevitably be cut short by the man’s inability to keep his hands to himself. That was how their nights usually went, after all. But that wasn’t even the strangest part. Flowers and chocolate? Sure, Sirius had lavished Remus with gifts for the past couple weeks but that was only to get out of the dog house. Now that they had made up, what was his aim?
Trying to shake away the feeling that something was certainly amiss, Remus pulled on some decent clothes and returned to the living room. Immediately, Sirius straightened up and patted his thigh. This at least Remus was used to, so he gladly made his way over to settle in Sirius’ lap. Sirius started placing kisses along his neck and Remus tilted his head back to allow him better access. Bringing his lips up to Remus’ ear, Sirius whispered, “Let’s go see a movie.”
What the actual fuck?
Feeling Remus freeze, Sirius frowned, “Do you not want to?”
He looked so heartbroken that Remus couldn’t find it in him to say no. “A movie sounds...nice. What do you want to see?”
Fifteen minutes later:
“The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore. You’ll love that,” Sirius promised, a little too desperate for the matter at hand.
“Well...I saw it but I wouldn’t mind watching it again!”
Sirius dropped his head back with a loud thud and Remus couldn’t help but laugh at the drama of it all.
They’d been at this for way too long and Remus just wanted the strangeness of the evening to end so he moved to straddle Sirius’ lap. Feeling Sirius stir beneath him, he murmured, “We don’t have to see a movie. We don’t have to go anywhere.”
Sirius seemed to have trouble speaking. “I want to go—”
—to the movies. Remus knew. He jumped off Sirius completely and settled into a position on his knees that he knew the man would never say no to. If Sirius wanted to go weird Remus would just have to take the night into his own hands.
Afterward, when they were bare and exhausted in Remus’ bed, Sirius murmured, “You are so fucking beautiful.”
Overwhelming affection welled up in Remus’ chest. He laughed nervously, “You are too.”
Sirius curled his arm tighter around Remus’ middle. When Remus began to trace his bicep, Sirius sighed, “I really wanted to have a date night.”
Hesitating only briefly and ignoring the pounding of his heart, Remus quietly offered, “The Cineplex in Woodland Hills is playing The Goonies this Saturday at five if you still want to see a movie…”
The energy in the room shifted in an instant. “Yes,” Sirius breathed, not sounding at all like his usual suave self. “I’ll pick you up at four. We’ll go to Vincenzo’s after—it’s the best pizza in the Valley. You’ll fucking love it.”
“Yeah,” Remus whispered, “I’m sure I will.”