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National City was beautiful in the spring.
As the seasons began to change and the colder days of winter transformed the landscape into fields of flowers and bright green grass, Lena felt lighter. She’d always hated the winter, hated the cold. When the days would turn to night at 4 in the afternoon, she would sit in her office, with only the light of her computer and a lamp to keep the darkness at bay until late into the night. She enjoyed the summer months so much more, it made working until 9:00 feel less lonely and guilt inducing.
The sun would warm her until 8:30, and that was perfect for her.
An evening like tonight was rare for Lena. She had managed to finish all her work by 7:00 (which is an easy thing to do when you don’t sleep much and work every waking minute of the day). So, she stepped out onto her balcony for some much needed fresh air.
Looking out at National City, she reflected on the past year. Lex, Crisis, Kara, Kara.
So much had happened between them that she was afraid they would never bridge the gap between them. Sure, she had been angry. So angry. But now she saw the error of her ways, saw that going down the dark path she chose made her no different from Lex or her mother, and all it did was make her even more lonely, a feat she hadn’t even thought possible.
She and Kara were on the mend now, though, but that didn’t quell the fears that were still brewing in the depths of her heart. She couldn’t quite reconcile how she used Kryptonite on her best friend. Used her best friend. Lied to her best friend. Nearly killed her best friend. She couldn’t quite shake the darkness that still lingered, and she definitely couldn’t shake the fear of that darkness seeping back in.
As she leaned on the railing, half empty glass of whisky on the rocks dangling from her tired hands thirty stories above National City, she heard the familiar soft footfalls landing behind her, heard the tell-tale swoosh of that bright red cape as her best friend descended from the heavens.
“Beautiful night, isn’t it?” Said the welcome intruder, “You have the best view of the sunset in the whole city.”
“Do I? I would think you could find an even better place, huh Supergirl?” Lena replied without turning around.
Honestly, looking at Kara as Supergirl still made her stomach roll with both guilt and apprehension, but she was working on it.
Those soft footfalls came closer and closer until a blue shoulder brushed against hers and two built forearms pressed against the railing in parallel to Lena’s. She thought for a moment the difficulty of that simple action for Kara. How she must have to calculate and consider every motion, lest this whole building come tumbling to the ground. How the woman standing right next to her, held the whole entire world in the palm of her hand, and had held her, too. Had held her so gently and with such love that she still couldn’t fathom.
Kara must’ve sensed the tension still between them because she let out a tiny sigh, another calculated move, Lena thought.
“You know, when you came to my apartment to apologize, you mentioned something that reminded me of… something else.” Kara started.
Lena finally dared to look at her face, her best friend’s face. And, in that moment, with the golden sunlight shining on her perfect Kryptonian skin, with hints of pink lighting up her blue eyes, Lena had to face the truth.
She was in love with Kara.
Clearly a little hesitant because of Lena’s lack of response, Kara continued with her story, snapping Lena out of her love-induced haze.
“When you talked about the darkness inside of you, and the dark path you went down, it made me remember something that happened to me, not too long ago, and yet it feels like eons ago. It was before you came to National City. Before Myriad, just after Supergirl was really starting to become a symbol of hope for this place.
There’s this version of Kryptonite, it’s called Red Kryptonite, Maxwell Lord synthesized it trying to replicate Green Kryptonite, but it clearly didn’t go as planned. It made me lash out, at everyone. I dangled Cat Grant off of her balcony at CatCo, I said every mean thing I’d ever thought about Alex straight to her face, I believed I was a god, and that National City had to bow at my feet.”
Lena continued to stare at Kara, she’d heard this story before. Bits and pieces, of course, since at the time she was more occupied with her brother’s tirade and her family falling apart on national television. She’d really only heard that Supergirl had been ‘compromised,’ nothing more, nothing less, so the details came as a shock to her.
“But, that wasn’t you. You were affected by that chemical, Kara. I decided to work with my brother unaltered, I decided to hurt you unaltered. That’s the difference between us,” Lena tried consoling the hero.
Kara turned to Lena then, moving her body to fully face the brunette, only keeping one hand on the railing.
“The thing is, Lena, it was me. The chemicals altered my brain, yes, but I truly thought all those things that I said and some part of me had always wanted to do the things that I’d done. Cat had made it her life’s mission to embarrass and aggravate me every single day that I worked as her assistant. Alex and I had always had our differences, and I knew that she’d always been jealous of me while we were growing up. I might act righteous, but I did want National City to bow before me. I am more powerful than any other person in this city, why shouldn’t they kiss my boots?”
The hand still holding the balcony tightened and the sound of creaking metal broke Kara out of her trance-like recounting of her worst moments. She snapped her head to look at the damage done and released her iron grip, resulting in a Kryptonian handprint to remain in the steel.
Lena, sensing the hatred Kara still possessed for herself after those events, turned to face Kara head on as well, and grabbed the hand that had just reduced her balcony railing to silly putty.
Kara’s eyes snapped to Lena’s then, surprised at both the physical contact and the trust placed on Kara to touch her after she’d just so clearly demonstrated the destruction those hands are capable of.
“What I’m trying to say, Lena, is that we all have darkness within us. Even Supergirl, even National City’s beacon of hope. We all have thoughts and feelings that are horrible and terrifying, but it’s what we do with them that matters the most. You were hurting, I know that, and like you said, loss does horrible things to your family, and I don’t blame you for listening to your inner demons. I’m sorry to have brought them out in the first place,” Kara paused and ran her thumb over the back of Lena’s hand, as gently as she had once touched Streaky in the Danvers’ backyard during those first months on Earth, “What I want you to know, Lena, is that I’m so proud of you. I’m so impressed by you. It took an army, Alex, and J’onn to bring me back from the darkness. You pulled yourself out all on your own. Your strength is far greater than mine, no matter who can bend steel.”
Kara looked into Lena’s eyes with such conviction in that moment, with such clarity and certainty that Lena couldn’t help but believe her.
She couldn’t help but believe that the woman standing before her truly did feel the same way she’d said she felt after Lena was captured by Lillian the first time all those years ago. She truly did stand by Lena and believe in her, even after everything.
And because of that, Lena felt her heart flutter in her chest.
Unfortunately, what might have been absolutely imperceivable to a human, was caught by the ethereal being before her. Her treacherous heart gave away her nerves and her emotion to the very being that causes them, the only person who can bring out the softest side of the cold business bitch the world was accustomed to seeing.
“Have I… have I said something wrong? I know I just barged in on you, and bombarded you with that story and with my feelings, again, which I didn’t mean to do! I-I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone. I know that it’s been so hard, and you’re probably not ready to trust me yet, but I just had to see you tonight, you know? I-”
“I love you.”
Kara’s jaw snapped shut so hard her teeth rattled. Her eyes were wide, yet flooding with tears, and her bottom lip trembled ever so slightly. It was silent for a few moments before a soft, hesitant voice uttered, “... Really?”
Lena, who was now crying too, choked out a wet laugh, “Yes! What, did you think I was kidding?”
Kara laughed too now, wet and hopeful and replied, “I love you, too.”
Lena then let go of Kara’s gentle hands and cupped her face between her own hands and pulled her impossibly close. Their lips barely brushed before Kara surged forward to connect in a nearly bruising kiss.
There they stood, a Luthor and a Super, making out on Lena’s balcony, lit by the setting sun over National City. The golden light spilling between them when they parted seemed to be symbolic, somehow. It seemed to hold a deeper meaning of the brightness to come in their lives and in their relationship. It seemed to only promise golden days ahead.
For two souls who had been split apart by the universe almost one too many times to fully put back together, they silently vowed in that moment to never split apart again, if only to allow Lena a moment to breathe.