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Kuramochi Youichi was keeping a secret from his boyfriend.
A small one, to be sure. Tiny. Minuscule. But to keep a secret from Sawamura was still very difficult for him.
It was hard on several levels, not the least of which being that they shared a tiny dorm room, besides spending most of their time together in baseball practice. Sawamura wasn't much for personal space, or privacy, and had only gotten nosier since they had started dating four months earlier.
Most of the time, Sawamura's personal space intrusions were welcome. He'd sneak up behind Kuramochi and hug him from behind, or plant a kiss on his head as he walked past Kuramochi playing video games, or even worm his way under Kuramochi's comforter and demand to be cuddled so he could fall asleep.
As much as Kuramochi outwardly grumbled and pouted about Sawamura's complete lack of a filter and seemingly endless demands for physical affection, he was usually happy to indulge his boyfriend. He still couldn't believe that someone like him could have won over Sawamura. He'd pranked Sawamura the day they met, and left him to Kataoka's mercy on the first day of practice. He'd been unable to do anything but watch over Sawamura's recovery from the yips from the outside, shouting at Miyuki from his own frustration and his own inability to do anything for his roommate and friend. And more than that, Sawamura was blindingly optimistic, the sunshine of Seidou's team. He'd quickly made friends with every person in his class, boisterously laughing his way through social interactions, sharing shoujo manga recommendations and athletic advice freely.
Kuramochi wasn't like that. Though he'd gradually opened up through his time at Seidou, from just talking to Miyuki to being friendly to everyone to feeling close to his teammates, especially Shirasu and Masuko, he was slow to fully trust, slow to let anyone inside his heart again. He'd learned better.
--
Sawamura Eijun was worried about his boyfriend.
He wasn't quite sure how he'd gotten to this point in his life. Just a year and a half ago, he'd stuck up his nose at the idea of attending Seidou, and even once he'd arrived at Seidou, it hadn't been what he'd expected. His roommates, who were very friendly, had tricked him on the very first day, and he'd had to struggle for weeks and months to find his place on the team. And though he'd initially been furious with Kuramochi (that asshole, with his stupid smug grin and hyena laugh and his infuriating tendency to pin Sawamura to the ground at the most inopportune moments), his roommate had become a fast friend.
And then he'd become something more. Sawamura had started noticing Kuramochi. His smug grin had become a little warmer, his hyena laugh kind of endearing, his wrestling moves affectionate. Sawamura had seen how Kuramochi supported the rest of the team with all his might, shouting encouragement disguised as teasing from across the field, inviting others into their shared room for a quick round of games if they were feeling down, watching over his underclassmen to make sure they were eating properly and staying in good health. And then one day, he'd woken up and that smug grin had become enticing, the hyena laughter comforting, the wrestling moves a little bit too much as Kuramochi's warmth wrapped around him.
Sawamura had dithered about what to do with his newfound emotions for a few days, until Miyuki cornered him after practice and demanded to know why Sawamura had been so distracted. Sawamura realized with dread that his feelings weren't just going to go away, and he resolved to do something about it.
But Sawamura knew, from all of Kuramochi's ramblings about Wakana and getting a girlfriend that he liked girls. Not that that necessarily meant anything, but Kuramochi had never shown the same amount of openness and interest in guys, and so Sawamura prepared himself for rejection. He stood in front of their shared room, preparing to enter, and confess his feelings, when Kuramochi came up behind him.
"What are you standing in front of our room like a dummy for, Sawamoron?" Kuramochi's voice sounded rough in his ear.
Sawamura yelped and turned around like a dog chasing its tail, finding himself half pinned against the door as Kuramochi leaned against it with one arm. He stammered out, "I ... I ..."
"You what, idiot?" Kuramochi laughed, taking a step back. "What d'ya look so frightened about, anyway?"
"I was standing there nervously because I was trying to confess to you and now that I've said that I'm going to Miyuki's room okay bye!" Sawamura shouted quickly, turning to leave.
"Wait, hold it!" Kuramochi said, grabbing Sawamura's arm. "You were going to what?"
"I was gonna confess to you, asshole!" Sawamura grumbled. "So here it is, I guess. I like your stupid face and your stupid laugh and your dumb wrestling moves, but I'm pretty sure you don't like me like that, so we don't have to talk about it again if it makes you uncomfortable. Now let -- me -- go!"
And then Kuramochi blushed.
"Sawamoron, I don't know what made you think I don't like you, because I think it's been pretty obvious for a while."
Sawamura only had time to splutter "You --?" before Kuramochi pulled him in for a kiss.
That had been four months ago, and everything had been going great. Sawamura's pitching was improving by leaps and bounds, and their relationship, while not perfect, had been loving and supportive. But over the past few weeks, Sawamura had started to notice Kuramochi being a little bit more secretive, sneaking off for time alone here and there, sending Sawamura on dumb errands, looking startled and guilty when Sawamura entered the room. Sawamura desperately wanted to know what was wrong. He loved his boyfriend, even if he hadn't said it yet, and he wanted to help him through whatever was going on. And if whatever it was had to do with him, Sawamura swore he would do whatever it took to fix the issue.
--
Kuramochi's secret really wasn't a big deal. Truly.
It was such a small thing, he told himself.
But being in the same space as Sawamura all the time, it was hard to keep any kind of secret, and all the little things added up. Sending Sawamura on an errand to grab a few minutes alone on his phone, guiltily hiding his phone under the covers when Sawamura walked in, taking extra long bathroom breaks for the few minutes of guaranteed alone time, all of it had been making him feel increasingly guilty.
And really, he shouldn't. At worst, what he was guilty of was sending Sawamura on pointless errands once in a while. But every time he indulged in his new pastime, he felt a little bit guiltier.
Who would've thought a dumb phone game would have caused him this much grief?
Kuramochi had picked up Love Live! on a whim. He liked playing rhythm games at arcades, and he liked cute girls, and sue him, he enjoyed the cute story about people working hard to make their dreams come true. It really wasn't that far off from what he and the Seidou baseball team were doing with their high school lives.
The day he'd started playing, he'd looked up from his perch on his bed, about to shout at Sawamura like he usually did to tell him about whatever new game he'd discovered or just to get him to come over so he could wrestle him into being the little spoon. But then he'd pictured Sawamura's downcast face before he'd confessed, miserable in his conviction that Kuramochi didn't, couldn't return his affections. Sawamura had told him later that he hadn't even considered that Kuramochi could like him back because he'd only ever talked about girls, and Kuramochi couldn't deny that he'd never expressed an interest in guys in front of Sawamura before.
He didn't ever want to see Sawamura look like that again.
And by now it had been weeks, and he still hadn't shown Sawamura his newest gaming obsession. What had been a small moment of indecision had blown up into fear that Sawamura would find out, and be insecure about Kuramochi's affections because he was spending his free time collecting cute girls in a rhythm game.
Kuramochi knew it was stupid. He knew.
Sawamura would probably get just as into it as he had. The Love Live girls earnestly pursuing their goals even reminded him a little bit of Sawamura and his endless drive and optimism. But at this point, he just couldn't bring himself to tell Sawamura.
He was laying in bed, tapping his way through his favorite Saint Snow song, when Sawamura burst in the door.
Kuramochi scrambled to hide his phone, but it was too late.
The room was still, and Kuramochi's face flushed as Sawamura stood in the doorway, with Kuramochi's face flushed and his phone stuffed under his pillow, still blasting guitars and girls' voices in perfect harmony.
"Youichi, what are you hiding from me?" Sawamura asked, much lower than his usual shout.
"It's so dumb," Kuramochi sighed. He pulled his phone out from under the covers and showed Sawamura the screen.
"Oh, isn't that Love Live!?"
"Yeah, that's right," Kuramochi replied. "You know it?"
"Who's your favorite?" Sawamura asked enthusiastically, regaining a bit of the volume in his voice. "I really admire You-chan's passion and loyalty to her friends! Kind of like you, and you're You-chan too!"
Kuramochi could only stare at his boyfriend, dumbfounded.
"But wait," Sawamura continued, his voice dropping again, "Why'd you hide your phone when I came in? Is this why you've been so jumpy around me recently? You don't have to hide anything from me, Youichi."
Youichi sighed. He'd dug this hole for himself, he supposed.
"Please don't laugh, okay? I just ... couldn't stop thinking about when you confessed to me, and how you thought that I didn't like guys, and I didn't want you to worry, because I'm collecting cute girls in Love Live."
Sawamura stepped closer to where Kuramochi was sitting on his bed and pushed him into his mattress. He jumped right into bed with Kuramochi, laying side by side with him and intertwining their fingers.
He was silent for a minute. The quiet was agonizing. Kuramochi wasn't used to quiet from Sawamura, ever, so for him to say nothing now was terrifying.
"You're so dumb, Youichi!" Sawamura suddenly shouted. He rolled over to face Kuramochi. "You're supposed to tell me things! I'm your boyfriend, aren't I? Isn't this a dumb thing to keep from me?"
"I know it's dumb! I know it is! But I'm so, so afraid that you're going to leave me, and I couldn't do anything that I thought might - "
"You're afraid of me leaving you?? But I'm right here!"
"Sawamura, of course I'm afraid of you leaving me! You're so good with people, and everyone loves you - all of Seidou, your team from Nagano, even players from other schools are weirdly fond of you! And I went through all of middle school fighting for people who didn't give a damn about me, who just used me to get back at their enemies, and if not for baseball, I wouldn't have gone to high school at all -"
"Youichi!!!" Sawamura shouted. "I won't leave! I'm here for you, and I love you!" He blushed at this admission, but continued on. "I want to know you, and I want to know about your middle school life! It won't change anything about how I feel about you, but I never knew! I never knew about your asshole friends, or that you got into fights, or anything like that! So please, won't you tell me? I want you to tell me things!"
"Sawamura..." Kuramochi looked at his boyfriend in wonder, "You're amazing, you know that? And ... I love you too." He kissed his boyfriend's nose lightly, and sighed. "Now, I guess I'd better tell you the story."
Predictably, Sawamura gasped and huffed indignantly on Kuramochi's behalf as he told the story of how he'd gotten into fight after fight defending his friends ("Oh, so that's where you picked up your wrestling moves," Sawamura sighed), and he swore to beat up Kuramochi's former friends if he ever met them ("How could they do that to you!!"), and promised, again and again, that he would stay by Kuramochi's side.
And then Sawamura laughed a little.
"Did I ever tell you what happened at the game Rei-san scouted me at?"
--
EPILOGUE:
Asada watched as his new roommates cuddled up together on Kuramochi's bed. Kuramochi showed his phone to Eijun, and smirked as Eijun began to squawk angrily.
"I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU GOT MY BEST GIRL BEFORE I DID."