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Sammy was out of his chair and heading for the recording room door before he even comprehended he was doing it. He reassured Ben that he’d get her, but he couldn’t understand why he was doing it himself. Lily was a dumb, selfish, brat. He didn’t care about Lily and her obnoxious, toxic, egotistical B.S.
But that was a lie. Granted, it was a lie that was easier to swallow than the real emotions. And it was a lie they were both good at. A lie that helped them keep at arms-length from the pain that Jack’s disappearance caused, but still allowed them to feel something.
But it was a lie. As much of a pain in the ass as Lily was and always had been, she was Jack’s sister. And she was once Sammy’s friend.
Sammy didn’t realize it, but he had been sitting in his car, gripping the steering wheel and staring ahead at nothing while grappling with this for a full minute or two. He sighed, grabbed the keys, and pulled out onto the road.
~~~
“Fuck off Deputy goody- *hiccup* -goody” Lily shouted tearfully. She started stomping away from Troy purposefully and is proud to say she only stumbled a little. She thinks.
“Oh come on now, Ms. Wright. I just wanna help you here. It’s early and there are no cars but it’s gonna get real busy soon.” Troy offers placatingly, following her slowly, but from a distance. “Seems like you need a friend. Lemme be a friend and take you home-”, he was cut off to duck when Lily turned around and launched the almost empty bottle of vodka at him. “Hey now-” he started.
“I don’t have friends!” she yelled but also sobbed, “And I don’t have a home anymore,” she turned around and continued to stumble along -and into- the road, “not since he left.”
Lily heard a car approaching in the early morning haze. She stopped and looked down the road.
It’d be so easy.
The speed limit was 45 here, despite the winding curves.
That was fast enough. Right?
She was toeing the line. Literally. Her toes where on the fading line of the rumble strip lining the roadway. But as soon as the thoughts came into her head, she knew she couldn’t go through with it. She couldn’t do that. Jack still needed her, wherever he was. And Sammy-
He was a dumb shit, but they were friends. Weren’t they?
Lily sucked in a shaky breath and backed up a step from the line and from the approaching car. But that didn’t seem to matter, because the car was slowing anyways. The sound finally got to Lily’s alcohol-muffled head and the familiarity started to sink in-
“No. Nope. Not gonna happen!”, her anger returned when she recognized the sound of Sammy's shitty car. She continued to stomp away from Troy, who has somehow gotten much closer to her while she'd be staring at the road, and the car that was slowing to drive alongside her.
She didn’t have a bottle to throw anymore so she took her sneaker off and chucked that instead. She missed though and he was unfazed by the attempt.
“Lily, please, can you just let me take ya home”, Sammy said through the open passenger window, still driving slowly alongside her. She didn’t wanna look at his stupid, pitying face. He was trying to be Jack, but nobody could be Jack. Her brother was annoying, and bossy, and picked the worst hipster boyfriends, but he was irreplaceable.
“Fuck off Sammy! You’re fucking coward!”
~~~
It wasn’t hard to find Troy and Lily. There were only so many roads in King Falls, and even though it was a rural town, the main areas weren't spread that far apart.
Plus the cruiser and lights helped.
Also the drunk woman weaving off and onto the road was a big hint. When they were just coming into sight Sammy saw Lily throw something and Troy ducked. So, it was that Lily they were dealing with today. It had been awhile since he had dealt with that Lily. The Lily that threw bottles of alcohol was one he’d seen only twice. Once after a breakup and again after a particularly bad fight with her best friend and producer, Pippa. But he hadn’t really dealt with Lily then, he’d just been the cleanup crew for the broken glass while Jack had dealt with the real damage in that special, calming way only Jack had.
As he pulled up alongside her, she took her shoe off and threw it at Sammy's car. It thunked off the side of Sammy’s car, widely missing the open window and Sammy’s face and instead hitting the rear passenger door. As annoyed as he was with Lily and her drama, he tried to bring that same calming and empathetic tone and demeanor as Jack used to.
“Lily, please, can you just let me take ya home” Sammy offered in the kindest voice he could.
“Fuck off Sammy! You’re fucking coward!”
Well that was expected.
“And I was just telling Deputy Dipshit over here”, she wildly gestured to Troy, nearly falling over in the process, “that I don’t have a home. You took that from me when you drove him away-”
Sammy’s feeble patience snapped. He drove ahead of Lily, pulled in front of her path, and throws open the door.
He charged over to Lily who was backing up a couple steps at a time in the face of Sammy’s anger, but at the same time, not backing down.
“Oh there’s the famous Shotgun anger. Lay it on me big guy!” she shouts drunkenly. Her retort stops Sammy in his tracks, shame and sadness turning his face pale in the morning light an armslength away from Lily.
Emboldened by the reaction, she steps forward instead of back and continues, "That's the reason he left you, you hothead” as she puts both hands on Sammy’s chest and she shoves him back. He lets her.
"You drove him away. Away from me, away from his life and- “ she’s cut off as Sammy unfreezes and steps back into her space again.
"You don't think I don't know that!" the rage back, but rage at himself. The rage at himself is always there. That's why Shotgun was so easy. It’s easy to be angry with others when hating yourself is practically your profession. "Why do you think I came here to get him back? Why do you think I tried to fucking join him!" Sammy shouts back, but tears forming in his own eyes to match Lily's.
Troy, who had been watching for both of their safety but maintained a physical distance out of curtesy now started taking furtive steps towards then both in case he needed to step in. But it doesn’t seem like he needs to.
"I don't care what you do Shotgun, but get away from me. I don't wanna look at your stupid face and an…" she sniffs and sucks a shaky breath and more tears stream down her face "and I don't know how to look at your face and not see my brothers too” she sobs.
“You were a goddamn matched set! An- and now it's just you and I DON’T WANT YOU" her grief and anger oscillating constantly, helped by the booze. But the anger already faded back to sadness again "I just...I just want him back." She scrubbed at her face and wiped the sleeve of her shirt across her nose. "I just want my brother back". She put her face back in her hands and her shoulders shook. Lily wasn't one to show any emotion other than sarcasm or contempt, so this? Sammy didn’t know what to do with this.
Sammy's anger, at least at Lily, faded too and tears rolled down his face. "I want him back too Lil," he tentatively reached a hand out to put on her heaving shoulder. She covered his hand with one of her own and let out an audible sob. "I.." Sammy started and faltered "I'm sorry it was him and not me, I'm really so sorry Lil, and I'd do anything to give him back to you, I just.."
Lily stopped him speaking anymore by falling into his arms, which he hadn't realized were open for a consoling hug. He was startled for a second, but then hugged her back, smoothing down the hair that was wild from a night of drinking and grief.
~~~
Troy noticed the turn of emotions after the shove without needing to be close enough to hear the words. He was already in his cruiser by the time Sammy and Lily stood in a hug, brought together in their grief at whatever early hour of the morning this was on the side of the road in this strange mountain town. They stood like that for a while, with Lily's shoulders shaking and Sammy stroking her hair. Troy wasn't close enough to see, but he could tell Sammy was crying too. A good hug will do that. Troy busied himself with writing up the report to give them some privacy. When he looked up from the computer a little while later, he watched as Sammy helped Lily into the seat and buckled her in, grabbing her shoe off the ground as he walked around to the drivers side door that was still hanging open.
Sammy discretely wiped a hand across his own definitely-not-crying eyes before grabbing the door, turning, and giving a small wave goodbye and a sad half smile to Troy. Troy gave a little wave back and watched the unlikely friends drive off in the lightening sky.