Work Text:
A chance is something possible.
Something unintentional.
And sometimes, a risk.
--
This was a rare sight. The Fallen wasn't often around Rhodes, always taking on transport missions to a faraway land of distant dreams people can only imagine by herself. And even if she was here, the common lounge wasn't her number one spot to be alone. Sure, she appears there now and then, sharing her adventures to the curious crowd over some tea and snacks— the Doctor always had a superb collection, off the shelves of Dur-Nar's— but never without a missing audience.
Texas walks into the room quietly, careful not to rouse the napping Mostima settled comfortably on one end of the couch. Not that she was one to talk. She usually came here with Exusiai after work. The poor Sankta had been kidnapped by the Doctor to go through another round of briefing for the upcoming operation nicknamed "AF-5 CM". She shudders at the thought of the arts drones sapping them of their strength. That's got to be real nasty for the ranged operators. Claiming the free spot on the other side of the couch, the Lupo settles into the soft, plush covers, her fatigue seemingly disappearing for a moment. She lets out a sigh of relief as she leans back.
Unbeknownst to her, Mostima was not asleep. She cracks open an eye, looking at the source of the sigh. "That's awfully rare of you to be here without Exusiai," she comments nonchalantly.
"Same goes for you," Texas shoots the question back at her. Of course she wasn't asleep. "Waiting for somebody?"
She shakes her head. "No, no, I'm here on my own for once. Same goes for you?"
"Exu's departing for a mission soon. Habits die hard, huh. You? Doctor too busy for your stories for once?" Texas teases, remembering how Dr. Ye would whine and sigh about how she missed Mostima terribly whenever she was away for long.
"As much as I enjoy storytelling to an extend, life isn't all about retelling the past." Mostima leans on the armrest of the couch, resting her head on her arm propped up on it. Frankly, she was feeling pretty tired of the past right now.
"Hello. I'm Suffering. Like this?"
"You're doing a very good job. At annoying me. In the first place, shouldn't that be my line?"
"That I can agree." The Vanguard was just as haunted by her past as the Caster.
The latter runs a hand through her blue hair. Was she feeling emotionally constipated now? Still, she supposes that the Lupo can be a good listening ear. "Sometimes, just sometimes, I want to pick Phoenix's codename for my own." She was sharing more than what she usually does, not of stories nor of fables, but about herself. She's tired, she thinks. Past, past, past. Just once, for one more moment, can she live freely in the present?
Texas furrows her brows, concerned. "Are you doing alright, Mostima?"
There is a long, awkward pause as the Fallen's hand stops in its tracks, before sliding down to hold her neck. She gives her a bright smile... One that was too tight on the corners. "...I'm doing, fine."
The Lupo probes further, unrelenting. "...You sure?"
"What makes you think otherwise, Texas?" Mostima continued smiling, even brighter, even wider.
"Your smile doesn't reach your eyes. If you don't feel like smiling, don't," she explains. While Exusiai is full of smiles, the same cannot be said exactly for Mostima. She has never smiled this wide, not even when she was hanging out with the other Sankta. She smiles cryptically, sometimes soft, sometimes smug, but never this wide. It was obvious something was off.
There it is, that all-knowing smile she was more familiar with. "You're not the first to tell me that, really. I guess it won't fool anyone in the end, huh."
"...You're upset, then." Deepening her frown, Texas concludes her guessing game. She doesn't stop there. "...If you want to talk, I'll listen. I'm not good at cheering people up, but..." she trails off, fumbling over her words.
Mostima smiles sheepishly, a soft chuckle escaping her lips at her own helplessness. "There's no use fooling you, is there? You'll always find out in the end with that cool head of yours." Her eyes flutter close as she breathes in deeply, opening when she takes up Texas on her offer. "...I guess I can try talking once in a while, but keep it from everyone else, alright?
"Alright," Texas takes out a box of pocky from her white jacket. Opening up the packet, she offers it to Mostima, as if it was a smoke. "I won't tell," she promises, "whatever you say is safe with me."
"Aww, thanks." Mostima accepts the trust offer, taking two out of the box. They disappear in an instant as she munches on both at the same time. Efficient, she likes to call it, although Dr. Ye had at one point, called it stress eating. "Say, Texas," she takes another stick, nibbling on the chocolate end of the biscuit slowly this time, "what do you think of when you hear the word 'family'?"
Texas stiffens visibly at the word, a feeling of dread rising over her as unpleasant memories surface, from the 'glory' days of the mafia, to... The slaughter. And then, when she left... She remains silent for a long time, placing the pocky box on the coffee table in front of her as she clasps her hands together tightly, holding her gaze low. What is family? Her blood and kin? Her colleagues? Rhodes Island? And maybe, even possibly... her...? ...There she goes, overthinking again.
"Mmm? Texas, what's this?"
"A scutcheon, Doctor. Here, it's for you."
" Ohhh, thanks! Wait, there's a scratch..."
"Two things," she states quietly. There is a pause before she continues, squeezing her hands before letting go. "...No, just one. Penguin Logistics is my family." How long has she worked there? She doesn't even remember anymore. All she knows is that it's been a better part of her life. "It's sappy, isn't it?"
Mostima waited patiently, aware that the topic was somewhat of a sore spot for the Lupo. It wasn't exactly the best nor the easiest thing to discuss with her, but still. She wishes to know, her thoughts, her feelings. They're all a part of the same group, together. So when she hears her final reply, a smile—a relieved one, at that, blooms on her face. Heh. "Figures," she says, finally finishing the stick, "and no, not at all. It's heartwarming to know. After all, there's never a dull day with them around, yeah?"
Texas nods, a small, fond smile gracing her lips. "They're unpredictable, but..." she flexes her fingers before reaching out for the box. "I prefer it this way, honestly." Like Mostima, she chews her stick slowly, something to work the jaw as she thinks. "Its... fun, looking forward to what we'll do next. All these weird and chaotic shenanigans, they're memorable in their own ways," she admits truthfully, letting her words hang in the air, silently convincing herself that she's right. She only has one family now: them. And that's... fine. That's fine with her, she decides.
"Mmhm... I hope you guys will never change." She too, nods her head as the fond memories of their time spent in Lungmen during the Sauin played all over again in her head. Candy, Bison getting chased, property damaged (poor bar), even the Emperor's shattered records... Ah, how nostalgic.
"What about you?" the Lupo prompts the Fallen. Did Mostima think of Penguin Logistics the same way as Texas?
"Me? Well..." Mostima hums for a moment, considering her words. Ngh, no wonder Texas paused for so long. "Family..." she starts, "is a home to return to, where people who will welcome you back home wait for you." Warm. Welcoming. Reassuring. Yes... Yes, that's right... "Don't you just want to stay with them?" Her thoughts are finally gathered, clear and firm. "I feel the same for both Penguin Logistics and Rhodes Island. They feel like... home and family." How could they not? Dr. Ye's persistent effort in getting to know her paid off well. She'd once sent a message back to Rhodes notifying the Doctor of her return, only to find out that she'd been waiting for her the whole time. She even went as far as preparing snacks, having learnt that stories go very well with some tea cakes from the first time they sat together for a chat.
Apparently she did, sharing the same sentiments as the other woman. All the more similar they are, fallen sinners hiding in plain sight. All the more they shouldn't be here. "I want to stay. I really do." A small, wry smile graces Texas's lips as she somberly speaks her heart. It may be few in words, but it carries a heavy burden— the weight of her thoughts throughout the many bygone years.
It's funny, isn't it? How come they're the ones to come to the same conclusion. They want to stay— so, so badly they want to stay, with their newfound family, perhaps wishing for things to remain as peaceful as it is, yet... "If... If you know that you will threaten their safety whenever you're with them... What would you do?" It's different for the actual Fallen, whose words were barely a whisper. The harm she brings is not the same.
Texas stares incredulously at Mostima. What? She grits her teeth. She'd never thought of it that way. Tch... It is a good point to consider... "We make a good team, don't we?" the Lupo mumbles sardonically, closing her eyes. At least they're together in this. "Whatever comes, we'll handle it. As Exusiai would put it, that's how we roll."
Her tone is firm, Mostima notes. Exusiai must have really rubbed it in her.
Angel's Blessings, as they call it. Being around the red-head for years certainly had an effect on her. That includes being able to pick up on certain things Mostima does. She knows, like the back of her hand, the reason behind Exusiai's crestfallen face whenever she wandered the hallways alone. She knows what Mostima does best, having seen her do it multiple times first hand, where she "Mostima'd". But even though she knows she might not be able to outright convince her... She had to try. There's a part of her, is it the care for Exusiai prompting it? This... Nagging part, that pushed her to say her next sentence. "Once you find your family... You shouldn't let them go. You'll regret it."
"PFFT-" Mostima tries her darndest best to stifle her laughter, but oh, God, this is a sight to behold. Never would she have thought that the one and only survivor of the Texas wolf clan would come to regard someone like her as family. What was it again? Opposites of a magnet attract? When said Lupo scowls, she elaborates. "Of course, of course, I get what you mean." Texas's answer was the best, really, to describe them as a family. It's heartwarming to know that her found family are standing up for one another, not hesitant at all to call out others on their bullshit. Though, who's to know that it is bullshit? "Then, do you think so?" she asks again, turning to look at Texas, her usual smile replaced with one laced with genuine curiosity. How much did she know? "Do you think that I let them go?"
Texas shakes her head, reaching for another stick of pocky. Since when did this turn out to be an interrogation about her opinions? "No, not yet anyways. But keep it up and you will. One day, you'll leave, and we'll never see each other again," she commented, remembering the days where Exusiai would talk about how much she missed the blue-haired "Angel". No... She pauses, biting the biscuit snack, reconsidering her words. It's the truth, as harsh as it is, that Mostima simply just ups and leaves people at the drop of a hat. Whether she liked it or not, Texas doesn't know, but... "Or, maybe not. Who knows? Fate works strangely. As evidenced by your laughter, I'm sure you know what I mean."
Keep it up, and perhaps one day her family will slip away from her palm, huh. The words slowly sink into her, knocking on her conscience that she will have to cease this at once one day. But... when? Ah, what a predicament, this is. Mostima finishes the last bits of her pocky, looking back up, her gaze resting on the windowsill, on the stars that scatter outside. Bright, bright stars, streaking across the moonlit night likes guides for lost souls, wandering around in the wilderness. "I want to stay."
"Heya, Doc. Fancy seeing you here."
"Oh? Mostima? You're back already?"
"Mmm. Nice night, isn't it? Windy enough, but not chilly. No cloud in the sky to hide the twinkling gems in the sky. Just as I like it."
"To think I'd be able to catch the elusive Fallen on my secret break from my stuffy desk. Heh, it is, honestly. Nights like these make me feel the most alive."
"Haha, you make it sound like I'm some rare sight. I do frequent the observation platform too, in case you've forgotten."
"Aren't you?"
Perhaps. For the first time, she's being honest to herself. "I want to stay," Mostima repeats earnestly, "I'm not allowed to, but still, I want to stay."
"Then stay," Texas insists. It's as simple as a yes or no in her eyes. "To hell with what other people think. If you want to stay, then just say so. Just stay. If someone has problems with it, if there are some shitty consequences, then we'll deal with it. Together. As a family." To prove her point, she holds out her pocky box, offering another stick.
Then stay... The Lupo may not have realised the weight of her words, but they ingrain deep into Mostima's thoughts nonetheless, a burning sensation, a branding. An answer Texas concluded so simply, yet was so hard for her to obtain. Was it really as simple as she says? It... It can't be, right? Mostima looks into Texas's eyes, scanning for any sort of confirmation, to ease her worries. "Even when I'm a criminal? Even when you will have to shoulder a portion of my sins?" This is ridiculous. She already has her own problems on her plate. Why would she want more?
Texas simply shrugs nonchalantly. "Why not? I'm here. I've committed sins. I was a criminal. We aren't so different." She stares back with her perpetual poker face. It is but fact, she thinks, the deeds of her past back when she was still in the mafia unwashable. They don't have to be washed off, though. "You've got to accept the past for what it is. That's the only way you can continue moving forward."
"Huh..." The Fallen's expression is tinted with surprise along with a glint of amusement. She accepts the pocky stick, her eyes never leaving Texas for a second. "You know what? You're far more carefree than I thought." A genuine compliment, of course.
She huffs out a laugh, the rare sound escaping her lips. "When things get too complicated to think about, I prefer not to think at all. It's easier that way." She too, doesn't take her gaze away, maintaining eye contact with Mostima specifically for her next point. "If you want to stay, then do it. That's all that matters. We'll deal with whatever that happens, whenever it happens."
"You never changed truly, did you?" Mostima remarked, following the former's laughter. Oh, how wonderful it would be if she could just... Dump all her all worries and live freely, in the moment, in the present, in the future. Even in such a scenario, however, the lingering shadows of her sin... It will continue to follow her. That, she understands very, very well. Though, for her family to not question her sin one tiny bit— accepted plainly without prejudice like this, as one of them. If she is allowed to wish for such a future, then... "Texas," she scarfs down the pocky in a blink of an eye as she holds out her other, free hand. "May I?"
The Lupo raises an eyebrow. "My... hand? Sure..." She switches out the pocky in her right to her left, holding it out, unsure of what the Fallens wants from her.
Mostima envelops the offered hand with hers. Warm. Texas's hands are warm, unlike her own. This warmth... How long ago has it been, since she'd last felt it? This too, must be the warmth of a family she has long forgotten, a feeling buried away in the deep recesses of her memory. It's time to reclaim it. "Texas... Will you protect my family while I'm gone?" she requested, knowing how selfish it is to even ask again. How many times has it been? How many times has she relied on Texas to cover Exusiai's back, for this favour? Too many to count, but for just a little while longer— "There is... something, that I need to do first. Only then will I truly be free from my past. However, I need time... Will you and everyone wait for me?"
"I will," Texas reassures her wholeheartedly, "but promise you'll come back. You're our family, too. You're my family." Her gaze is intense, determined to get the message across. It is nothing at all like the aloof expression she normally wears.
You're my family. Her lips part slightly. Words fail to escape her throat, catching there, choking up. Her eyes flutter close, and she lets go of Texas's hand little by little. Preemptive as always, that Vanguard. Her first strike stays true, and it fills Mostima up with courage. "I promise," she swears, empowered by Texas. "The world can burn me but my words." The Caster's gaze mirrors that determination albeit far gentler. The clouds inside her mind disappear slowly as relief washes over her, a heavy burden lifted off her shoulders. When has this all started? When did it all begin?
"... I see now. When I thought of having a friend like you, the spark of joy I felt wasn't fake after all. Scrap what I said before, Doctor. Maybe I do need a bit of warmth in my life."
Dr. Ye's childish antics got to her, didn't it. As much as Exusiai rubbed off on Texas, Mostima has to admit, her persistence rivals the energetic Sankta. More often than not, she found herself helping the Doctor and Ptilopsis plan out how to make Saria and Silence reconcile, offering her inputs here and there as she visited the office. So in good-hearted fashion...
"A pinky promise?" It's a childish favour to ask, fitting of her Sarkaz-like features. Her tail swings to and fro beside her as she holds out her pinky finger, a cheeky smile returning.
This is so like Exusiai. Could it be a Sankta trait? Texas hesitates at first. It's... been a while since she's last made one. "Pinky promise.," she sighs, hooking her own pinky shakily onto Mostima's. She pushes the memory of the person she last promised out of her head, opting to focus on the present moment instead. On the person she's promising right now. There is a future to look forward to.
--
A chance it is,
from their meeting,
their parting,
and their eventual reunion.