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At this point it should not be a surprise. You should have expected it. Ladybug had told you, a few years ago. You suspected it yourself, if only for a few eternal moments.
(Then why does your heart hurts so much?)
You take a step back, with a dry throat and your heart beating wildly in your ears.
“This isn’t love.”
(Like a dagger twisting in your chest, that truth may be the only thing that saves you)
That man who looks at you with sad eyes is not the supervillain you fought a few hours ago. He wasn't even the same man you had taunted minutes before, when the universe had told him no, he was never going to get the Miraculous. Because it was simply impossible for Hawkmoth to love anyone. Much less his enemy.
(But you're a cat of bad luck)
(Shouldn't you know by now?)
(Good things don't happen to you without cost)
But the man in front of you, with the sloping shoulders and tired expression is none other than Gabriel Agreste, the one who loved his wife madly, apparently to the point of seeing the world go up in flames just for her. The one who, supposedly, loved you.
(But that had never been enough, had it?)
“Forgive me, Adrien.” He whispers softly, with a grief that comes from the soul and makes your own heart cringe in pain.
(Whether out of pity or fear, it's something you don't want to find out)
You try to swallow, but the knot in your throat makes it impossible. You inhale shakily, and in a vain attempt to clear the tears that cloud your vision you blink repeatedly, but some have already managed to escape. You look into his eyes, and can only manage a silent...
“Why?”
(The same question you've been asking yourself since your mother's death)
(The one that has never had an answer)
“For your mother.” He answers after a few seconds, looking at the ground. “It's all been for her.”
You bite your lower lip, feeling it tremble as well as your hands. The ring around your finger doesn't stop beeping and your black suit suddenly feels more like a prison that won't let you move.
The mountain in which you stand vibrates with all the magic accumulated over the years, a magic that sticks in your gut and clashes violently with that of your kwami. It’s almost like having lava in your veins and steel in your bones, and even with your transformation you feel frighteningly vulnerable.
(It’s painful)
(But not as much as the horrible nightmare you're living right now)
“Everything I’ve done...” Gabriel continues, without paying much attention to you, absorbed in his own world. “has only been to make things right. To bring her back into our lives... to be a family again, my son.”
You press your lips in a thin line and shake your head. Those damn words feel more like a stab than a comfort. It stopped feeling real a long time ago.
(Today, in your ears, they sound more like an excuse)
“But… it's not right.” You say, so pathetically, that on any other occasion you would have felt a deep shame, because an Agreste never speaks pathetically.
(But the despair that eats you up inside is much greater)
(You can't care less whether you sound worthy or not)
(The surname Agreste lost its meaning when the mask finally fell, anyway)
Gabriel closes his eyes tightly and denies desperately. When he turns his gaze on you, you have an awful urge to run away. “You don't understand, Adrien. With the union of both powers, a wish can be granted. It's the only option there is.” He justifies himself with all the certainty in the world, and if it weren't for knowing the other side of the story, you might have believed him.
“But...”
“Why can't you understand it?!” He exclaims almost hysterically, starling you and making you look at him in fear, your tail wagging on edge behind you. “I'm doing it for you! For your mother! For us!”
You take a couple of steps back, not being able to take your eyes off of your father. You'd never seen him lose his composure like that, his almost crazy eyes giving you the creeps, but that glow of determination as he set his sights on your ring...
Drastically his posture changes, standing firmly with his shoulders back and his head up, hands behind his back and his eyes, cold and calculating, looking at you in a way that made you feel as if you were dirt on his shoe. Your hairs stand up, and against your will you show your teeth and a guttural growl comes out from deep within you.
(How did you get to this point?)
(Where you feel so in danger from just being in his presence, and your instincts urge you to escape from here?)
(When did your longing and love become terror?)
“Give me the ring, Adrien.” He orders you, imposingly, stretching out his hand.
You squeeze your hand around the Miraculous, shaking your head. “You know I can't do that.” You take another step back. “It’s cursed.”
It had been the only way to ensure its well-being. A last resort, a desperate measure to keep the Miraculous of Destruction from falling into the wrong hands. Plagg had been reluctant, because there was only one way to remove that curse, but Hawkmoth was no longer playing. They could no longer take risks.
("You'll see that everything will be fine, Kitty." Ladybug smiled at you in such a dazzling way that it left you spellbound)
(And you, as a faithful companion, had believed her)
(Don't you understand, Adrien, that luck just isn't on your side?)
“Then I suggest you tell your kwami to break it.” He returns to his initial position, and looks at you harshly. “I will not hesitate to do what is necessary to obtain it, son. You'd better not complicate things.”
You loose your breath, and a great desire to cry assails you without warning. You never imagined feeling such pain, it's very different from when you thought Ladybug was dead, totally different from when your mother left your life. It breaks your soul and leaves you without energy, your heart is agonizing and seems to be squeezed by an invisible hand.
(If to make you suffer or to keep it from falling apart, you're not quite sure)
You gasp in a vain attempt to get oxygen into your lungs, tears burn your cheeks and you can't think clearly. Here is your father, right in front of you, the only family you have left, telling you that he will not hesitate to kill you to get what he wants.
(A sacrifice of a loved one, to obtain the power of Destruction)
You know what the worst part is? That you are fully aware, that if it were any other kind of circumstance, any other kind of situation, you would gladly give your life to bring your mother back. No complaints, no hesitation. You would have thrown yourself into the void if you had to.
(Anything to give back the world the brightness and warmth of her smile)
But that's the thing, isn't it? This isn't a parallel world where you're Adrien the civilian. No, you're Adrien, the chosen one of the Black Cat; you're Chat Noir and you're a protector of the Miraculous. As such, you know the stories of every victim used by Hawkmoth (by your father), you know the consequences of the union of the two most powerful Miraculous, and you know the risks that the price to pay is the life of one of your closest friends.
(You know what selfishness is)
(You know you're selfish)
(But your selfishness could never reach such heights)
You deny fervently with your head. “Don't do it...” You beg, before you harden your eyes and let out a hiss, glaring at him. “I will not allow it!”
Gabriel grimaces and begins to approach with a firm step. “Then you leave me no choice.”
You snarl fiercely, moving into a defensive pose. Your father stops, looking at you with a scowl. That disapproving look you've grown accustomed to.
(Today more than ever it hurts)
(Because even for not giving your life he is disappointed)
“You're a monster.” You spit with a trembling voice, but the poison... the disgust for that person who only terrorizes Paris and dirties your mother's memory, distills from every word. For the first time in your life, you confronted your father without detours or hesitation. It was time to end this. “You are wrong if you think I will allow you to continue with this madness.”
“Adrien...”
“CATACLYSM!”
Your hand wrappes in dark magic, the energy cracking and cramping your body. Your heart beats wildly, and a tiny part of you screams out your fears, your insecurities, your 'I don't want to die!' and 'We must go back to Ladybug!', but it's not hard to shut it up and throw it back into the back of your mind. You can't hesitate at this point, even with the terror threatening to paralyze you, because you know it's the last option you have left.
(It is in your power to stop that man who wants to become a God)
(That man who has hurt so many people)
(That man who is your father)
(There was never anything to consider)
You grit your teeth and turn around, praying for your friends, for your Lady and for your kwami. You pray that one day they will forgive you and not blame themselves for the decision you have made in these terrible circumstances. You are between a rock and a hard place; between a magical barrier, a monster and a precipice that will end your life.
(And with reality as you know it)
You close your eyes, "forgive me" you think in your last moments, and without further ado you take your hand to your chest, and wait with cruel anticipation to feel the corroded power of your magic, your entrails burning and dissolving, perhaps even to feel your bones breaking into pieces or turning to dust. You don't know, your imagination has never dared to explore all the possible outcomes of using cataclysm on a person.
But you feel nothing, and when you open your eyes you can only watch in astonishment as the magic disappears in a trail of smoke. Your body feels heavier and every cell vibrates with the foreign magic of the mountain. You inhale sharply, eyes wide.
Oh.
You let your hand fall to your side, lifeless, looking at the ground while a cold feeling pierces from the tip of your hair to your toenail. Your senses become numb, the world stops spinning, and a crushing disappointment threatens to break you.
You failed.
When you needed it most. You failed.
(A black cat, Adrien. Why did you expect something different?)
(From bad luck you should never expect anything)
You didn't move when you felt your father's presence behind you. Bigger and scarier than any supervillain could ever be. The difference between Hawkmoth and Gabriel Agreste is that the latter doesn't need a supersuit or superpowers to inflict fear on people. His shadow effortlessly covers anyone else, and obscures any light he doesn't like. His gaze freezes any idiot who thinks themselves capable of being better than him, and he doesn’t need his sharp words to make you feel like the worst scum in the world.
(You, better than anyone else, knows this)
(That's why you always thought he could never be Hawkmoth)
(It's not just denial)
(Is just that Gabriel Agreste inflictes an absolute terror that Hawkmoth could never achieve)
(That made him much more fearsome than any supervillain)
“Forgive me, son.” He mumbles in a solemn tone, almost tired. You bite back the hysterical laugh that urges to get out of your throat. Because it's too cruel, this thing that's happening. Because it's outragous and stupid and so, so unfair... Because this simply couldn't be happening. “But when I get my hands on your and Ladybug's Miraculous, I'll fix everything. I promise.”
Your soul leaves your body, your heart stopping when the strong hand of your father closes around your wrist, pulling you like a rag doll.
(It's not far from what you really are to him)
(Now you understand it)
You try to free yourself, God and every other deity in existence knows that. You pull, hit, kick and even bury your claws in your father's arm, but he never lets go of his grip. And you are not strong enough to do so on your own.
(You've never been able to)
At this point, you feel your heart beating more violently than ever, hitting your chest painfully as your body trembles and your despair consumes all rational thought.
(You are his son, for God's sake, how can he do this to you?)
“Don't do it. Don't do it!”
Your words are never heard. Gabriel doesn't listen to what he doesn't want to hear. He grinds his teeth, and with one more pull he throws your body off the cliff, a void forms in your stomach and the world freezes over once again to let you see your father's repentant face.
(But repentance will no longer save you from the end)
How curious. You remember that saying, that when you're going to die, your life flashes before your eyes. The good, the bad, the fun and the sad moments. Everything you've ever been through that has shaped you into who you are right in this moment.
But that doesn't happen. There are no memories of the warmth of your mother's eyes, nor of her beautiful smile or her tinkling laugh that seemed the most beautiful of them all. There are no memories of a more lovely life, with your father smiling softly at you and stroking your hair, kissing your mother's cheek and putting aside his work for a couple of hours just to play with you.
There are no memories of new friends, of fun events that fill you with that feeling of belonging that you have never felt before. There are no memories of calm glances or adrenaline pumping from hand-to-hand combat, or late cups of tea to calm down accompanied by discreet laughter and whispered words in Japanese. There are no memories of new chosen ones becoming a team and watching your back when you need it most. There are no memories of a sweet smile and a family bringing joy in every bite of those sweet treats of their creation.
There are no memories of a child in a cap who welcomes you into a new world you don't understand, and becomes the closest thing to a brother you've ever had. There are no memories of huge green eyes that opened to offer you the delicious sensation of freedom, or little legs caressing your hair, or the satisfied purr on your chest after having devoured a delicious piece of Cambembert.
There's not even a memory of a fist bumping into yours and a 'Good job!' said proudly. There's no red suit with black spots, no dazzling blue eyes looking at you with enormous love and total confidence. No mon chaton whispered sweetly, no challenging looks to start a new game. There are no memories of that unconditional love or the thousands of butterflies you feel in your stomach just from seeing her.
No. All there is is the figure of your father moving further and further away, the wind violently hitting your back and the fear, betrayal and grief consuming every fibre of what was left of your broken heart.
It couldn't be true. It couldn't be true...
You reach out, trying to reach that person who used to be the pillar of your world, whom you tried to please in every way and for whom you tried to become the most perfect being of all. That person you used to think loved you and who, at the end, would protect you with his life.
(How it hurts, to be wrong)
“PAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”
(Oh, Adrien. You should have known, that if he had to choose between family and ambition, you would always end up losing)
Up on the edge of the cliff, Gabriel Agreste just watches with morbid fascination as his son falls, falls, and falls until...
He closes his eyes, thick tears escaping from his eyes, running down his uncovered cheeks slowly. His heart aches and a feeling of regret and guilt threatens to drown him. Nooroo, at his side, stands in stoic silence, looking at him impassively. He can feel the resentment coming out of every pore of his little body directed at him.
But it's too late now. He’s done what he had to do. What's the difference? At the end of it all, once he’s done his job, everything will go back to the way it was.
I'll fix it. I swear I'll fix all of this.
Below, in a circle made of ancient symbols and runes, Chat Noir's lifeless body lies inert right in the middle, rivers of blood slowly growing until it becomes a puddle and falls through the cracks formed by the runes. They are dyed scarlet, and the earth vibrates as the symbols glow blindingly. The Miraculous beeps and blinks louder, until in a flash, the transformation slowly begins to disappear in small sparks of electricity, revealing the shattered body of Adrien Agreste.
From the ring the little black kwami shoots out, feeling disoriented and completely exhausted. His little body trembles and he feels his magic vibrating with fury and colliding with a foreign magic that...
…that he knows perfectly well.
He shakes his head and looks with horror at the place which he repudiates with all his soul. The one that was specially designed for him and his kittens, when the greed and cruelty of the world had found a way to possess the Miraculous of Destruction in the darkest times of human history.
And if he is here then...
He turns abruptly, horror eating away at his heart and something like denial flooding his mind. For there, a few feet away from him, his chosen lies with its limbs twisted into positions that should not be possible. He floats clumsily until he’s close to his face; his skin is growing paler, his chest is uneasily still, and his blond hair is now dyed red.
Shakily he lays a paw on his cheek, and begins to slap it in an attempt to wake him up. “Adrien? Come on, kid, we got to get out of here.” There's no answer, and his anguish begins to turn into a deep dread. “Adrien, wake up, I'm serious!” He takes a lock of his hair and starts pulling it, but in the end he just flies out one more time.
Oxygen becomes impossible to obtain, and his little heart rumbles in his ears as it always does when he’s in this hellish place. He can't give up, however, he refuses to accept that Adrien... that his boy is...
"Not him... Not him..."
He approaches the blond’s face again, this time pushing his head with all the strength he has left. “Come on, boy, Ladybug is....waiting… for us- AH!”
His strength leaves him, and Adrien's head falls lifeless once more to the ground. Plagg floats in defeat before the expressionless face of his chosen one, tears filling his green eyes until, with all the sorrow of his heart, he reaches his cheek and stretches his little arms in an attempt of an embrace, rubbing his face against the cold skin.
“Please, kitten...” He begs with a thread of voice, little tears falling silently on his face, a purr shaking his little body “…don't leave me.”
There is no answer, however, and that breaks his heart even more, because there is no way to deny this. His kitten is dead, he has lost one more, and he was unable to do anything once again.
The purring soon becomes a pitiful howl, each more heartrending than the last, reaching the soul of anyone who hears it, forcing them to wail and cry with him. The flashes of the runes become warmer, their light softer, the ring glows and slips off Adrien's finger to begin floating slowly upwards.
Gabriel's outstretched hand receives it, and the miraculous rests in his palm, giving a final glow, turning black.
(Below, the black kitten disappears)
(But his cries continue to be heard all over the mountain)
Gabriel bites his lower lip, feeling the Miraculous of the Black Cat burning his palm and its magic numbing his arm. He’s not happy, and the agonizing wails of the kwami echos in his head. Nooroo, at his side, looks at him coolly, not bothering to hide the little tears that roll down his face. “What will you do now, master?”
The older Agreste exhales shakily, keeping the ring in his sack pocket, not having the courage to wear it yet. Not with Adrian's death so recent.
(If possible, the ring seems to boil at the thought)
“Now we go for the Miraculous of Creation.” He announces as firmly as he can, and hardening his gaze, he regains his composure and turns away from what is now his son's tomb.
There is no point in looking back. He will change things. One way or another. And eventually everything will go back to the way it was.
It has to.
He stops for a few moments, looking slightly over his shoulder. A single tear leaves his eye, falling silently to the ground.
"Forgive me, my son."
He picks up the pace, getting out of there.
Nooroo watches his master walk away, pursing his lips, and feeling once again powerless to do anything. With a sigh of defeat, he follows his master with a heart full of sadness; for the boy, for his friend Plagg, whose pitiful howls he cannot get out of his head or his heart.
For Gabriel, too. For he will soon discover that no matter how much power he gains from the union of the two Miraculous, once he sacrifices a life in the ancient runes, it will never be recovered.
It was the sacrifice for an unimaginable power. The condition for obtaining one of the world's most coveted powers. If the loved one who made the sacrifice is willing to live with eternal repentance and guilt for the rest of his life, then he will bear the weight of the black magic of the ring that will slowly feed of their soul.
That was the price of the Miraculous of Destruction.
Far away from there, Ladybug tears her throat out with a desolate scream, agonizing over the emptiness left in her by her partner's death.