Chapter Text
1
After Pierce’s declaration that from now on Hawthorne Wipes would be a straights-only product, followed by his fake heart attack, the party pretty much breaks up. People start leaving, some of them muttering about alternative wet wipe brands they will be using from now on. It’s a shame - Troy barely had any time to enjoy the party, what with plumbers and air-conditioning repairmen ruining his fun. There’s a lot of leftover chocolate chip and peanut butter cookies, though, and Troy doesn’t want to let them go to waste, so he spends some time trying to eat as many of them as he can and stuffing the rest in his pockets. By the time he’s done, Abed is no longer at their table. Troy scans the now half-empty cafeteria and finds him leaning against a wall, talking to a blond guy in tight jeans and an even tighter tank top who’s all up in his personal space.
Troy wastes no time marching over there. Who does that guy think he is, crowding Abed against the wall like that?
“Hey, Abed,” he says loudly as soon as he gets close. “Ready to go home?”
The guy turns his head slightly to look at him before Abed does, giving Troy a brief once-over. His eyes are thick with eyeliner.
“Is that your boyfriend?” he asks Abed, his lips curling slightly as he says it, and what the fuck is that supposed to mean?
“No,” Abed replies simply before looking back at Troy. “You go ahead, I’ll catch up.”
What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
“Okay,” Troy says haltingly, looking between Abed and Guyliner, who smirks and leans a little closer to Abed. Abed shows no sign of being bothered by that. Troy tries to come up with something else to say, anything to make Abed leave with him, but his brain feels entirely blank and his mouth doesn’t remember how to form words, so he just nods at Abed, and walks away.
He walks away, even though it feels like his feet weigh a ton. Why would Abed want to stay there with a dude who was obviously gay and obviously into him? He’s made it all the way out of the cafeteria by the time it occurs to him that maybe Abed doesn’t realize that. You don’t often see a man flirting with another man on TV; Abed could have missed that. He told Troy once about the man who’d hit on him on Troy’s birthday last year, and that it had taken him a while to realize what was going on. Maybe this is the same thing, and Troy just left him there.
He turns on his heel and walks back, ready to save Abed from a potential creep. No one’s throwing a drink in Abed’s face tonight, not on Troy’s watch, he thinks furiously, and then stops in his tracks.
Abed and Guyliner are kissing.
Troy’s first instinct is to run over there, pull them apart and punch Guyliner in the face for forcing himself on Abed, except it’s immediately obvious that that’s not what’s happening. One of Abed’s hands is in Guyliner’s hair, the other on his hip, and he’s kissing back enthusiastically, definitely not pushing him away. He doesn’t need saving.
Troy’s stomach roils.
“This party’s hot,” says Leonard, who’s materialized next to Troy, watching Abed and Guyliner with interest and stuffing his face with popcorn.
“Shut up, Leonard,” Troy says automatically. “Everyone knows you like wearing women’s underwear.”
Leonard shrugs. “At least I’m not a homophobe.”
“I’m not-- !” Troy gasps, offended, but then he notices Abed’s hand sneaking down to Guyliner’s butt, and yep, Troy’s definitely going to be sick.
He hurries out of the cafeteria, trying to swallow down the wave of nausea. It’s just the cookies. He’s not homophobic! He’s never had any problem with gay people. He had a great time at the gay party! It’s just that he’s had too many cookies. And he’s understandably upset that Abed never told him he was gay. He has a right to be upset about that - they’re supposed to tell each other everything! Why didn’t Abed tell him? Did he not trust Troy to be fine with it? Troy’s totally fine with it! If Abed wants to stick his tongue down some pretty boy’s throat, that’s his business. Troy doesn’t care. He doesn’t care!
Abed doesn’t “catch up” with Troy. In fact, Troy’s been home for over an hour by the time he gets back (not that Troy’s been keeping track or anything).
“Do you want buttered noodles? I’m starving,” Abed says, making a beeline for the kitchen like nothing out of the ordinary has happened. Maybe nothing has. Maybe Abed goes around kissing guys all the time and Troy just never noticed.
“I’m good, thanks,” Troy mumbles. He’s still feeling the cookies.
He watches Abed as he fills a pot with water and sets it on the stove. He looks… normal. Nothing about him indicates that he’s just kissed a man. And probably done other stuff with a man.
“Who was that guy?” Troy asks, unable to help himself.
“Harry,” Abed replies without missing a beat. “Or possibly Larry, I didn’t really catch it.”
Somehow, the fact that Abed doesn’t even know Guyliner’s name makes Troy feel a little bit better. Not a lot, though.
“You kissed him,” Troy says, and he sounds accusatory even to his own ears. “I saw you.”
This time, Abed stills for a split second as he adds salt to the pot, but nothing shows on his face and when he speaks his tone is entirely even. “I did, yes.”
“You never told me you were gay.”
Abed looks him firmly in the eye. “That’s because I’m not. You know I’ve been involved with both men and women.”
Troy gapes at him. What? “I don’t know that! How would I know that? You never told me!”
“Yes, I did,” Abed says, but then his eyebrows draw together as he thinks of something. “Oh, I see what happened. You assumed Kim was a girl based on his name. Sorry for accidentally misleading you, I should’ve thought of that.”
Troy blinks. He remembers being annoyed a few months ago that Abed couldn’t play Assassin’s Creed with him because he was going out with ‘Kim from his creative writing class’. Afterwards, Troy had asked him how his date had gone, and Abed said something like fine but they probably weren’t going to see each other again, and that was it. Just one of Abed’s occasional short-lived side adventures that ultimately didn’t mean anything. Except it did.
“Kim was a guy?” he splutters. “Who names a guy Kim?!”
“His parents, I assume. I never asked him.”
Maybe Troy is homophobic, because he doesn’t remember feeling so… something about Kim when he thought he was a girl. But he can’t be, because Abed is his friend, the most important person in his life, and it’s Troy's job to be supportive of him no matter what, so he can’t be.
“So, um,” he says awkwardly, not knowing where to look. “You’re… bisexual?” The word feels strange and unfamiliar on his tongue.
“That’s a possible word for it, yes. Is that a problem?”
“No!” Troy says quickly. It’s not a problem. It can’t be a problem. “Of course not! I was just… surprised, that’s all. I don’t care who you sleep with.”
He’s not sure that was the right thing to say, because Abed says nothing and turns away from him to add pasta to the boiling water.
“So… this Harry or Larry,” Troy says after a moment of silence that feels very close to uncomfortable. “Are you going to see him again?” he asks to show how very much not a problem it is.
“I don’t think so,” Abed says, disinterested. “Turns out he goes to City College and only sneaked in for the party because he’s a fan of Urbana Champaign.”
Abed doesn’t sound particularly affected, and Troy feels himself relax a little. Surely he can cope with Abed occasionally hooking up with a guy. That’s all it is. Abed has never shown much interest in an actual relationship, or made any effort to get with someone. Sometimes people hit on him because he’s objectively very attractive, and sometimes Abed says yes when he feels like it. It makes no difference if sometimes the person Abed says yes to is a man. They’ll probably never be heard from again because they won’t make any effort to understand Abed as a person, like Troy does. It’s fine. Troy isn’t going to be weird about it.
Still, it’s sort of a relief when Jeff texts to tell them that Pierce’s father had a real heart attack, and they can stop talking about Abed’s sex life.