Work Text:
~July 2020~
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected] [email protected]
Subject: EY GUYS LOOK WHAT I FOUND!!!!!
Attachments: smallstudyroomrecording.mp4
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected] [email protected]
Subject: EY GUYS LOOK WHAT I FOUND!!!!!
Attachments: maincorridorrecording.mp4
~2010, right after Protocol Omega ended The First Blanket Fort~
[Could we stay here forever?]
Annie thought, not really knowing if it was the more grown up part of her brain or her inner Disney-ish child the one talking.
Moments before the blankets started falling over everyone's heads, she and Jeff had found each other staring into each other's eyes. Not on purpose, but now neither of them seemed capable of looking away.
Then, darkness was casted upon them, after all the blankets had fallen over their heads.
Nevertheless, she could still feel him; no, not FEEL, she could SEE him even if her eyes were totally uncapable of doing so.
[Stupid childish Annie, it's just a Crush, he thinks you are a kid and you are way too obssessed with he could be instead of what he IS. Let it be].
Again, she didn't know who spoke in her mind: was it mature voice-of-reason
Annie or control-freak-too-scare-to-take-any-risks Annie the one talking?
Whomever it was, she decided not to listen to herself.
"I wasn't acting. I meant all I said. I...I think...I love you? Still not capital L, though. Crush part IS still of certain relevance."
She heard a grunt next top her and a hand she knew better than she should yet not as much as she would like touched her hair.
"Annie, I...I meant what I said too. If you LOVE someone, you have to accept them as they are...as I do with you, even dioramas included."
She gasped.
"You...mean that?"
"I wish I didn't...Shit, I am sorry. You are so young, and bright, and one day you'll be president...And I am, well, amazing human garbage; amazing, but garbage still. Sorry, I...forgot I said a thing."
"The hell I am forgetting. You have to stop doing this. I am not a toy you can tell whatever you want, kiss whenever you wish and then...nothing happened?! Let's see if this can unhappen!"
So she kissed him (and she felt slightly bad about it for the second he hesitated, then it passed away, as he returned it and, somehow, seemed to double it).
Before she could even tell he had no pants on, her yellow cardigan and shirt were just a formless mass on the floor and the rest of their clothing seemed to be destined to a similar destination.
Somehow, by one of those random miracles that only happened in Greendale, they were the only people left in that corridor and, with the strenght that only sexual hormones can give a human being, they managed to make it out all the blankets as her bra -only remaining item on their bodies felt away-.
He stopped, all if the sudden.
"Protection?"
"I'm on the pill...bad neighbourghood, scared of what could happen."
"You are taking my guest room, no argument."
"Oh, mylord, the guest room?"
"Shut up, mylady".
When Jeff woke up, he couldn't place himself for a moment...
...and then he saw HER, sleeping while holding him tighly.
He grinned, happy, placing a kiss on her forehead...
...and then he realised.
[Fuck, Jeffrey you little piece of shit, you are ruining her life. Plus, there is the Britta thing...FUCK, FUCK.]
Maybe he yelled some of that outloud, maybe he just started hyperventilating. Whatever it was, she woke up.
And the damm Disney eyes stared at him.
Happy but, somehow, not dreamy or delusional, just...regular Happy. As if this was a very normal thing to happen.
[In another life, another world, this could be every day. Not this one.]
"I'm...sorry. I don't know what happened...this...I'm sorry. I won't tell anyone."
She could have made an scene, as Abed would put it, it would have been on character (and, more importantly, a totally reasonable thing to do given the circumstances).
What she did was way worse, her eyes turned from regular Disney eyes to pure blue dissapointment.
"I wish I could be surprised. We should get dressed, before people start arriving, before anyone find your dirty little secret."
"Annie..."
"I'm not even going to tell you to go and fuck yourself. Ops! I guess I already did."
He burried his face in his hands, the hands that still felt like her soft skinn.
However, her plan didn't work out, as they heard someone coming in their direction.
"Shit."
As syncronised as they usually were when they were not trying, they pointed to a door at the other side of the corridor that was slightly open and entered quicker than they thought possible just to find it was already occupied by...
"TROY?! ABED?!"
"Is that a submarine and...WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES?!"
-----
The submarine was finished before they had planned, having found a small study room with all the materials they needed there.
Abed stared at their work together and then at Troy and again at the submarine...
...his feelings towards the submarine were way easier to process.
He was proud of it; it was really cool and, thought its life expectancy wasn't exactly long, totally worth their time.
Big fun building it. That was an accurate, simple, way to describe The Submarine.
But Troy...he loved the way he felt around him, it was...not calming, his heart beated too quickly for calling It calming but...reasuring?
Yes, that word would have to work.
He liked how he was evidently different from him and still understood him like nobody else had never done before.
He liked how he could be so childish so many times but then show more emotional intelligence than the rest of the Study Group together.
He found his features and body more than alright and sometimes wondered how they'd feel if they were touching his (and, for his own disconcern, how his friend found his own physical appearance).
In general, he really, REALLY liked Troy Barnes. He liked him so much that he believed that, having they'd been from opposite genders and living inside a TV show or movie they would be already romantically involved.
He liked him to the point of having a part of his brain thinking of the other L world, the one that has so many complications attached.
But he was realistic: nothing was about to happen there; Troy was meant to end with a pretty girl that was also able to be his friend (for a second, he had thought it was going to be Annie...but she and Jeff made so much more sense...maybe Britta...maybe some new player yet to be introduced...) and Abed...either a girl as outcasted as himself , one unbelievably cool or just being 'The Friend'.
He knew the shows, he knew the storylines and how real life was obssesed with copying only the parts they should leave to the past.
But this moment...somehow, it felt like one of those 'gaps' the fans get to fill afterwards.
And, if Abed Nadir was something for certain, it was a fan of Troy Barnes.
"Halloween...You said something important to me and...I gave you the answer you were looking for. The only problem...we don't remember Halloween."
Troy, with a sudden thoughtful expression, nodded.
"Yeah, I had the feeling I did...maybe it was something about feelings, or butt stuff, or movies..."
"Could it had been the three of them?"
Troy put his hands on the other man's shoulders.
"For you, man, I'm sure of it."
Silent impossed itself as they realised how closed they were, eyes fixed on each other's.
"If this was a movie...now we kiss."
"Let's pretent it is, for dramatic purposes."
Abed nodded.
"For dramatic..."
He couldn't finish, as his best friend's mouth became one with his.
Their pyjamas were on a corner, completely abandoned, less than a minute later.
There was only one thing Troy could say when he woke up next to a pacefully sleepy very naked Abed.
"Wow."
He felt in ecstasy.
At least, he felt this way until he realised what this meant.
What this meant about HIM.
Not that he had a problem with people being not-straight, of course he didn't. But...he had been raised to be, well, him; Troy Barnes.
And Troy Barnes was a ladies' man, ONLY a ladies' man; because that was what he had been taught that had to make sense for him.
Yeah, he had a man-crush on Clive Owen (but, honestly, who didn't?) and a part of him had not only been refering to Britta and Annie when he asked if he could help in their little striptease while searching for the purple pen but...
...but that couldn't be right. He couldn't (shouldn't) like guys. What was his family going to think?
Plus, Abed...he was his best friend and he couldn't risk complicating stuff with someone he...
[Shit.]
He LOVED him so much, big L.
"But I can't. This can't been happening. It's not ME."
A voice surprised him.
"I understand. You are the sweet and sensitive straight guy, the one that tears down the usual steriotypes applied to characters in your line. This was just for dramatic fan-service purposes..."
Troy was devastated, and a bit released, and even more devastated for feeling released.
"Buddy, I..."
"It was good, though, wasn't it? I enjoyed It."
For a second, Troy lost himself in the other man's eyes, fascinated as always on how much feeling his voice put even if it apparently sounded flat to everyone else.
But not to him.
Fuck, what the hell had he destroyed with his dumb outloud thoughts?
He didn't have time to keep trying to process everything, but the door opening cut his line of thought.
"TROY?! ABED?!"
"Is that a submarine and...WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES?!"
-----
"Where are yours?"
Abed's cold and logical answer took Jeff totally by surprise and, nervous as he was, tried to cover Annie's chest...by just raising his arm, without realising he was just covering her eyes.
She protested, as she lowered his arm...and didn't let go.
"Jeff! They are not the first men I saw naked plus...Wow, Abed, just wow."
"Thanks, I know."
Silence became so heavy in the room it could almost be counted as a fifth living entity.
Before anyone could make any other comment (or start dressing up), they heard a weird noise and Annie's Boops appeared, holding a vial of something that was supposed to be goverment classified.
The monkey threw it to the floor, freeing a dense gas, and dissapeared through the ventilation conducts, destroying the submarine as he left.
~July 2020~
Annie paused the video as she saw her ten year old younger self running naked towards the door hiding Troy and Abed.
She didn't know what to even think about what she had just seen.
She leaned back on her now husband lap, being him as shocked as herself.
He seemed to want to stroke her hair, but felt as he didn't have the right to.
"And that was on my top five of shittiest moves, for certain. I am..."
She turned her eyes to his.
"...glad time had treated you so well? I mean, you look almost as in the video."
"Annie I am not joking. That is...and you know I was sleeping with OUR FRIEND, for fucks shake, I don't even know how to describe how sickening watching that was."
"Well, good thing I am not married to the you of ten years ago."
He gave her a confused look.
"So...you are not mad?"
She frowned.
"Maybe, yeah, a bit but...I am also mad at myself. And Troy and Abed? God, they also needed an intervention quite urgently.
The thing is...is it worth to be mad about something that happened ten years ago and that we only remember now thanks to CHANG OF ALL PEOPLE?!"
"You might be right."
"Might?"
"Might very strongly?"
"Better."
Both laughed.
"You are right, though. It's like looking at a mirror .." An arrogant smirk she knew very well start forming in his face.
Incorporating a bit, she passed her hand through his a-couple-of-days scruffy beard, with grey hairs disperse through it, now taken as a natural thing instead as a terminal cancer.
"Complete reflection, you sure? Plus, I have more merit, you haven't had a kid!"
"Alright, true, but you are like some kind of Disney princess incarnated, so...do not compare yourself to the mere mortals..."
"Ok, you have just called yourself a mere mortal, everything is forgiven."
They laughed and spent a few minutes in silence before he gave her a troubled look.
"There is only one thing I don't understand...when we woke up that day, not remembering a thing, we were perfectly clothed...almost too perfectly..."
She froze, eyes even bigger than usual.
"Oh no...do you realise who had access to that room and is an expert on clothing...?"
In perfect unision, both screamed.
"THE DEAN!"
-----
It wasn't weird that Abed didn't say a word if he felt he had nothing worth adding to the conversation. However, if he was silent right now was because of what they had just seen.
Not especialy because of himself (he expected something similar the moment the right video started -they had exchanged them with their friends the moments they realised Chang had mixed up their emails-, it was really on character with their personalities at season 2), but because of how it would affect the man next to him, literally slightly separated since the video finished, guilt in his eyes.
Finally, he realised that, even though he knew the answer, he had to ask the question.
"Troy, are you ok?"
"How could I do that to you? Did you hear me? As if being with you was bad! That...that was some special bullshit, man."
Abed nodded, understanding why he felt that way. Maybe ten years had gone since the recording took place, but that didn't make it any less real to his husband, any less PRESENT.
He was too sensitive to take it any other way.
He knew he had to speak some sense into his perfect otherhalf, but action was needed first.
He leaned towards him and kiss him without hesitation.
Troy gave him a confused look, as if he couldn't process the fact that The half-muslin still wanted him in his life.
"YOU didn't do it. Your past you did it. Unevolved Troy did it. Your main character traits and core personality are the same but you have become a better version of yourself...your personality has grown and left behind some of the tribulations that defined it. You are the same Troy I felt for when I still thought I wasn't even sure I would even have true friends that lasted but...improved; but...different, in a good way. I changed too, I know you know. Plus, do you believe those two could actually manage to have two adopted kids?"
Troy was staring at him, no blinking at all.
"You have some Winger speech there."
"Maybe, maybe it's a new personality trait, I've been practising, so I don't need so much help with the scripts in the characters' dialogues..."
The other man clapped once, bounced to become again completely closed to his life partner and kisses him.
"So, it's official, Nadir speech enters the competition! Go Team N!"
This time, was Abed's staring moment.
"You are being overenthusiastic...there is a part of you still upset, isn't it?"
"Well, yeah...but it'll past...as long as you are here." He looked at the electronic clock. "Still an hour before our Skype...some Dreamatorium? I'm feeling like some Inspector SpaceTime scenarios."
Abed gave him finger guns as he jumped out of bed.
"Constable Jaz and Thirteenth Inspector genderbend, not for all publics but with some alien fights too?"
"You got it right. Buddy."
Now, they both stared at each other before saying at unison.
"Troy and Abed at the Late Niiiight!"
-----
The two couples looked at each other through the computer screen, clearly uncomfortable.
"So...how long are we going to pretend we haven't watched the other's ones tape too?!"
The other three reacted inmediately.
Troy pinched him in the elbow while saying, completely embarrased, that that wasn't a cool thing to say.
Jeff seemed about to teleport from NY to LA through the screen to murder him painfully slowly.
And Annie...she blushed and tried to justify herself.
"Well, in our defense, our conclusion was in your room guys..."
"But you could have skipped our butt stuff." Troy jumped.
"If it was only butt stuff..." Annie's husband muttered next to her, already looking less murdery and morr usually cockery.
"Like you are one to talk, there was some serious stuff in your video too, we are so lucky here in LA is late night...try to explain all THAT to a pair of little kids."
"Yeah, lucky us a baby can't remember basically anything, some unforgetable traumatic memories could have been made."
The two men carried the argument for a little while as Annie and Abed just looked at each other through the screen, deciding better not to intervine and let it be until...
...it, somehow, became buddy talk.
Relieved, the only woman in the call sighed and, with a smille, comment.
"Anyway, isn't it kind of cute both our first times together where almost simultaneously?"
"If that is your concept of cute I might reconsider this marriage..."
They started bickering each other playfully. His film maker friend scoffed to gain their attention back.
"Well, actually..." Abed stopped himself. "Can I tell them?"
His husband hold his hands tight.
"Ey, after what they had seen, we can tell them anything."
"That wasn't our first time...In our first year...we did the Kickpuncher sex scene for our homemade version."
They both looked at them, eyes as wide as possibly imaginable.
"THE WHAT?!"
~July 2020, but the next day~
From: [email protected]
To: All.contacts
Subject: Sorry guys.
Attachments: smallstudyroomrecording.mp4 maincorridorrecording.mp4
Ey, guys, sorry about the mistake...I am sending now the right ones...