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As Meng Yao tumbled down the stairs of Koi Tower, his mind focused on a single thought to keep him from going mad with fear and pain: his father was going to die, and he was going to kill him. The details would come in time, but there was no way he could keep on living in a world that included this man.
When he hit the bottom, blood burst from his lips and the words, "What the fuck?" burst from the lips of his half-brother, Jin Zixuan, who had just come around the corner.
"Meng Yao," he gasped. "Meng Yao, are you okay? Did you just—"
The bastard had been about to ask if he fell, Meng Yao knew it, but something stopped him. With effort, he raised his head to see where Zixuan's attention was directed. Upwards. Ah.
"Did my dad just push you down the stairs?"
"Kicked," he bit back.
"Fucker," Zixuan hissed.
"Motherfucker," Meng Yao echoed.
They shared a look. They shared a look that said, quite clearly, "I'm done."
Jin Zixuan stuck out a hand and for the first time in his mistake of a life, Meng Yao had an ally.
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Naturally, Jin Guangshan could not be made aware that Meng Yao had not been (literally) kicked out of Koi Tower. To disguise himself, he put on servants clothes and a healthy amount of face paint, giving him rounder features, a sharper nose, and a few too many freckles to be a true Jin.
Zixuan laughed at him every time they were in the same room together, but he could shove it because it worked.
Working with Jin Zixuan was not exactly what Meng Yao had ever envisioned for his future. To put it kindly, Jin Zixuan was a spoiled brat and every second Meng Yao didn't punch him in the face was a miracle. They also struggled to make progress in their plans due to the fact that theoretical patricide was all Zixuan seemed to have the stomach for. Meanwhile, every day they continued to permit Jin Guangshan to exist in this world, wielding the power and influence he did made Meng Yao feel responsible.
Perhaps plotting the murder of one's father shouldn't have given Meng Yao as much joy as it did, but the longer he lived in Koi Tower with the eyes and ears of his fellow servants, the more he was convinced he was right. The more he also learned why exactly his father had never bothered to claim him, despite Meng Yao being an exceptional, if not gifted, student. Jin Guangshan had twelve bastards in his household alone. Most of them were girls with the vague idea of their parentage and a few were boys without cores who were happy to not have been kicked down the stairs.
Among them, Meng Yao was quick to find comradery, but no further allies. After all, these people were either benefiting from the legitimate work their illegitimacy promised them, or were blissfully unaware.
Then the war happened. It was no longer acceptable for him to fake being a servant when he knew he could do better, so he and Jin Zixuan parted ways, his brother giving him letter of referral to be delivered to Nie Mingjue himself. Meng Yao wasn't really sure what Jin Zixuan imagined him doing for Nie Mengjue, but he was willing to take any position of actual use.
Life wasn't about comfort, it was about action. Sure, being on good terms with the heir to the Jin family secured him comfort for the rest of his days, but with such basic needs taken care of, he had more time to focus on other things. Things that could help people. Things that mattered.
The day he left for the Nies, Jin Zixuan arrived in the stables, out of breath and harried.
"What's wrong?" Meng Yao asked as he struggled to catch his breath.
"Nothing," Jin Zixuan gasped. "Just wanted to say goodbye. Don't forget to write me. I promise I'll write back."
Meng Yao stared at him. Had they really forged such a close relationship? Sure, he would miss having a brother, but he supposed that with how busy he was, Jin Zixuan found him to be more of a nuisance. A patricidal nuisance.
"Of course," Meng Yao managed to force out with a smile. It wasn't that he wasn't happy, he just wasn't the smiling kind of happy. Instead he wanted to cry and hug his brother tight. "I'll write as often as possible."
"Good," Jin Zixuan said with a nod. He looked like there was something else he wanted to say but changed his mind at the last minute. "Anyways. Try not to die."
"You too."
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There were a lot of problems working with the Nies, few of which actually involved the Nies themselves. The worst part was going back to being known son of a prostitute and resident Jin bastard, Meng Yao. Being dime a dozen among the Jin had had its perks. His fellow soldiers, however, took no time at all in reminding him the origins of his parentage.
Having no friends meant that there was no one he could complain to, so a lot of his complaints ended up in his letters to Zixuan. Writing to Zixuan felt less like talking to a person and more like some sort of diary, largely because Zixuan was shit at responding and when he did his flowery writing style contained next to no actual content. In a way, it was soothing. Useless. Calming. Devoid of any real meaning, but it still made him feel good.
One of the other problems with working for the Nies was Nie Mingjue himself. He was cool. Like, insanely cool. He said ridiculous things about justice and honor and instead of sounding like an asshole, he inspired people. Meng Yao actually wanted to follow him into battle, to make him proud. This was a new set of feelings for young Meng Yao, and he wasn't sure how to feel about having them.
One of the other problems that really wasn't a problem at all was Nie Huaisang, who was the most useless human to ever exist on the earth, which somehow made him all the more endearing. During one of his early stays at the Unclean Realm, Huaisang had offered to teach Meng Yao to braid his hair in the Nie style.
"You're one of us now! You should look the part," Huaisang complained. He was sweet. Fragile. Mingjue worried over him constantly, something Meng Yao found himself doing before long. He dutifully learned to braid his own hair, if for no other reason than to make Huaisang smile. And maybe because it made Mingjue pause every time he passed, sending a little signal of electricity to his brain that he couldn't quite put together.
There were next to no women in the Nie sect, which was a bit odd, but also kind of refreshing. Meng Yao wasn't on edge waiting to hear of Nie Mingjue's sex scandals at all times. Meng Yao didn't know if he could handle the idea of Nie Mingjue being as much of a louse as his own father.
It did, unfortunately, mean that the predominantly male soldiers were left to vent their sexual frustrations on each other. This posed an entirely different sort of problem for Meng Yao because until now, he had never stopped to consider sexuality a thing that he could cultivate. There wasn't a lot of room for it in his mind, between trying not to be killed in a war, hoping his mother and brother wouldn't be killed in a war, and still trying to plot the murder of his father.
One thing did become quite clear however, the one time he actually tried to let loose with his battalion. He got drunk, well, tipsy. He was almost enjoying their company. Then Nie Mingjue showed up and he really enjoyed that. Oh, his brain sans filter realized. This is it.
He may or may not have kissed Nie Mingjue that night. Nie Mingjue may or may not have pushed him away. He may or may not have cried about it later to Nie Huaisang during the only other time he let himself get drunk within Nie employ. He did not, he discovered, thankfully, want to kiss Huaisang. Just cry on his shoulder for eternity that his amazing, wonderful, hot brother didn't want to kiss him.
Huaisang was a real hero about the whole thing and helped him avoid trouble until he transferred to a new position.
In general, his time with the Nies came out to a net neutral. He gained useful experiences and allies, but also some enemies as well a very firm sense of class disparity that he knew would come to bite him in the ass one day.
Working with the Nies had given him an idea. As this war dragged on, he knew the only way to end it was from the inside. When he presented his plan to Nie Mingjue, he was shot down, but someone else in the room had been listening. Nie Huaisang approached him later. It turned out he was significantly more interested in politics than he let on.
"If you want to be a spy, the last person on earth you should be talking to is my brother," Huaisang said to him as he fled Mingjue's ranting about the merit of dying nobly on the battlefield.
"Does that mean you know who I should be talking to?" Meng Yao replied, mostly surprised.
Huaisang flicked his fan out, obscuring most of his face. "Yes. You know Zewu-jun?"
"Him?" He was a Lan and Lans had a reputation that didn't seem very likely to enjoy spies either.
"Zewu-jun is noble and upstanding, but also understands better the necessity of espionage. And if he signs off on it, my brother is less likely to kill you when he finds out."
"Ah, they're so close?"
"Yeah, sorta," Huaisang flapped his fan. "Trust me on this. I'll introduce you."
And introduce he did.
Lan Xichen was an entirely different sort of person than Meng Yao had ever met in his life. He was kind. Trusting. He was the sort of person who would cut out his own beating heart and hand it to his enemy if it would save a life. How someone as good as Zewu-jun could exist in the same world as someone like his father or Wen Ruohan was incomprehensible. Meng Yao knew he would require protection, emotionally, if not physically, and made a secret vow. When this war was over, he would stay by Zewu-jun's side, and protect his beating heart from any who would wish it harm.
With Lan Xichen at his back, Meng Yao entered the employ of Wen Ruohan. He had a secret reason for wanting this mission. Not only was espionage sort of his strong suit, working for a murderous asshole would surely give him some useful pointers on patricide. In fact, that was a point he made sure to mention in his interview.
"So," began his interviewer, looking him up and down. "You're one of the Jin bastards, right?"
Meng Yao nodded politely, even though every time someone called him that, as if being a bastard of Jin Guangshan somehow summed the entirety of his character and aptitude, he wanted to add another name to his very short list of people who were beyond redemption.
"Yes, that would be correct," he said anyways, polite as could be, dimples showing.
"But you want to work for us?" a cultivator interviewing him asked. Though his question was polite, there was an edge to his tone that clearly meant what he'd really asked was, "Why shouldn't I kill you where you stand?"
"Yes, because I'm a bastard. You see, Jin Guangshan is not very kind to us," he began. "In fact, when I went to introduce myself to him, he kicked me down the stairs of Koi Tower in front of his whole court. It was quite traumatizing. I've been plotting his murder ever since. I had just secured a job as a servant in his household when you began this war and ruined my chances. He's never home now, so it's not much use working there. However, working for you, I'm sure the opportunity will arise."
From on high, Wen Ruohan smiled and gave a small nod. The interviewer looked a little surprised but also very pleased. Of course he did, the dumb bastard. Like all of these noble born old men, he thought he was immune to the hatred felt by the lower class. Of course, it was also probably easier to ignore the hatred of a single person when everyone else also hated you.
Regardless, Meng Yao got the job. He went from undersecretary to Wen Ruohan's personal aid within a month, sending all information back to Zewu-jun, who would process it and filter it for useful content and strategic implementation. Though being a spy had its high points, Meng Yao was certain this line of work wasn't really for him. For one, there was a lot less strategy involved than he had originally thought. Sure, he was having a ball fooling all of the Wen soldiers, most of whom were as awful and cruel as their leader, but Meng Yao craved something a little more mentally stimulating. He wasn't allowed to actually assist with troop movements or strategy, something at which he knew he would excel.
One day, while snooping he made a mistake. His mistake was not realizing Wen Qing, a Wen from another branch of the clan who was being, effectively, held hostage for her usefully medical skills, was still in the room while he began sifting through documents.
"What are you doing?" her voice echoed from out of a dark corner. Meng Yao's life flashed before his eyes. Then he realized she'd been crying. She was hiding it now, forcing that tough look back onto her face.
"I forgot something," he lied. "Are you alright?"
Her hard look turned into an outright glare. Meng Yao didn't want to make an enemy of her.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to overstep," he said quickly. He only partially meant it. As a spy, he was a bit of an information addict and he had missed this piece of gossip. "If we're being honest, I'm looking for spare paper. I wanted to write a letter home to my mother."
Her face softened. "Where does she live?"
"Yunmeng," he said, honestly.
Her face paled. "You've heard what happened there?"
He nodded. The Jiangs. He didn't know how to admit his mother was perfectly fine in a brothel a few hours boat ride away.
"You must be worried," Wen Qing murmured. When he nodded, it wasn't really a lie. He was always worried for his mother's health and safety.
"And you?" he asked her, gently, sadly.
"My brother," she said, her voice barely a whisper.
Oh. Well, that explained things. Wen Ruohan was not particularly kind to Wen Ning. It was a well-known secret that he cared about as much for the shy son of his cousin about as much as Jin Guangshan cared for his many illegitimate offspring.
"It's hard in the world of violent men," he began slowly, pulling words from somewhere down deep, where he left the things he didn't want to think about, "to care for someone so vulnerable, isn't it?"
After that, Wen Qing and her brother were struck from his list of people to kill within the Wen operation. Sometimes you couldn't help who you were related to.
Wen Qing was the one who introduced him to Han Ping, a soldier with the Wens who was yet another Jin by-blow. Han Ping was quite good at the whole stoic soldier thing, though he probably would have preferred to be fighting for the Nies.
"To die on a Nie saber would be an honor," he once remarked, quite drunk. Something about that struck Meng Yao as a relatable statement, but he couldn't quite place it. When Meng Yao first shared his plans to commit patricide, he was a little afraid. Jin Zixuan was still not on board and he wasn't sure he could take rejection from another sibling.
"Oh, fuck no. Let's kill the useless son of a bitch," Han Ping said immediately. Meng Yao's heart soared.
"Great. Only problem is, with the war on, we can't really, you know, get to him."
Han Ping came to the conclusion, all on his own, that the war needed to end, and that the easiest way to do that was to kill Wen Ruohan. They decided to get Wen Qing involved. It wasn't hard. Oh, to be a wealthy man with many enemies.
Their plan was simple: convince the Nie Sect to converge on the city and use the chaos to assassinate Wen Ruohan. It was simple because Wen Ruohan has a bad habit of leaving his back exposed when he shouldn't, and Han Ping had been an excellent teacher of stabbing others in the back. With the aid of Wen Qing, they could guarantee the three of them alone in the room with the bastard.
The only thing Meng Yao hadn't been planning on was that Nie Mingjue would get himself apprehended and in the same room when he was to do the backstabbing. Meng Yao didn't want Nie Mingjue to see him doing something so dishonorable and deceitful. Nie Mingjue also looked shocked and horrified by his presence in the hall, having never been informed that he was a spy, something which stung a bit more than necessary.
"You," he hissed. Meng Yao's heart fluttered. He looked even hotter tied up.
"Yes, me," Meng Yao hissed back, pretending to inspect the restraints around Nie Mingjue's wrists. "How fucking dare you get caught! You're ruining my plans!"
The look of shock on Nie Mingjue's face was beautiful. It gave Meng Yao the courage he needed to stab Wen Ruohan in the front. Nice and honorable.
Ah. Murder.
Not really his favorite way to do things, he decided, but it was effective. Within a day, he was being claimed by the Jin family and given a new name.
Jin Guangyao was no longer banned from Koi Tower. Jin Guangyao was permitted to wear the hat of an official but not to carry actual office. Jin Guangyao was hated by his step-mother but not allowed to visit his actual mother. Jin Guangyao was even more bitter than Meng Yao.
Good thing he brought Han Ping with him. Han Ping was not claimed and he grew even more bitter than Meng Yao.
What Jin Guangyao hadn't expected was how happy it would make him to see Jin Zixuan again, or that Zixuan would be so happy to see him.
"You made it back!" Zixuan greeted him with his version of a grin. It was pompous and obnoxious and made Jin Guangyao want to hug him.
"You too," he said instead. "This is Han Ping, our other brother."
Zixuan frowned. "Another?"
Jin Guangyao frowned. "Another?" he echoed.
Han Ping was always frowning. "Another?"
Jin Zixuan motioned and a young man dressed in the robes of a disciple stepped forward.
"My name is Mo Xuanyu," he said politely. "I'm also your brother."
"Well, then…"
"Drinks?" Han Ping suggested.
"Drinks," they all echoed.
It was over drinks that they bonded. Each one of them had suffered their father in different ways, be it Zixuan having to live with the repercussions of their father’s ongoing actions, Mo Xuanyu's insufferable family whose abuse was beginning to affect his mind, and Han Ping who had ended up orphaned and alone.
"I feel like despite the illustrious standing of our father, we've all been made to suffer for being Jins," Mo Xuanyu sighed. He was maybe a bit too young to be imbibing this much, but his elder brothers vowed to look after him.
"I propose," Jin Guangyao hiccupped. "That we form a pact, to prevent our misfortune from falling on anyone else. Jin Guangshan should be stopped."
And so, the Brotherhood of Mistreated Jins was born.
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In the following months, very little was done in terms of murder. It turned out that both Mo Xuanyu and Jin Zixuan were opposed to the idea and instead opted for other ways of protecting the world from their degenerate father.
Jin Guangshan was kept constantly busy. Harried day and night by work so that by the end of the day, he fell into bed without the energy to call for company. This wasn't difficult as there was a lot to do after the war and the old man was driven slightly mad by the insubordination of Wei Wuxian, who had fucked off to Yiling to apparently start a demonic cult with Wen Qing.
Jin Guangyao and Han Ping knew better, though. This would only last long enough for the stupid bastard to get fed up and then the world would suffer. A more permanent solution was needed. He must be killed. And sadly, their number one ally in murder was currently in a cult in Yiling, so they had to improvise.
"Madam Jin," Guangyao greeted the woman he was now supposed to call 'mother'. Madam Jin did not like this, so he didn't.
"What do you want?" she snapped. They were seated at her table for tea.
"It's about Father," he said, keeping his eyes down and averted. "I fear that he's becoming a bit too reckless."
Madam Jin rolled her eyes. "I always thought your power plays would be cleverer than this, Jin Guangyao."
Jin Guangyao smiled a little. "Oh, this is a very different sort of play, Madam. You see, I think we both have about the same opinion of his leadership. And I think we both know who would do a much better job."
"If you say 'you', I'll have you thrown out."
Guangyao choked on his tea. "No. Dear god, no. I'm much better, ah, behind the scenes. I was referring to my brother, Jin Zixuan."
"Jin Zixuan is also an idiot," Madam Jin said, her voice full of suspicion.
Guangyao nodded. "Yes, but a kind idiot. With people within the clan who support him."
"What are you asking, A-Yao?"
Guangyao was a bit startled. She had never called him so affectionately before. In fact, only his actual mother had ever called him that before.
"I want to depose father and make Jin Zixuan leader of the Jins. I know he's young, but I think there's enough well-meaning people around him to make it work. We could speed up his marriage and get the support of the Jiangs as well. Though they're weakened at the moment, they still have reputation."
"I do like that Jiang Yanli," Madam Jin, caution and skepticism alive in her eyes.
"I haven't met her, but I know that Xuan-xiong is madly in love with her," Jin Guangyao agreed.
"Yes, but as stated, an idiot," Madam Jin sighed.
"Yes, but a kind idiot. What I'm really asking for here, Mother, is for you to continue to guide and support him."
Madam Jin nodded carefully. She didn't trust him. It stung a bit, but Guangyao was wiser than Meng Yao and he saw her distrust for what it was: he was in a prime position to kill her son and take over should she aid him. That was an understandable worry, so the best solution was to take himself off the table. He wasn't quite sure how to do that yet, so he contacted the second-best social strategist he knew.
"The hat is a bit much," Huaisang commented as he sipped the tea. "A bit heavy handed, I mean."
Guangyao nodded, having already moved past his irritation at how it marked him as still separate from the rest of the family.
"It's still not enough to get Madam Jin off my back," he sighed. Huaisang, of course, had known about his desire to kill his father for years. "I don't know how to convince her that I have no intention of hurting Zixuan and in fact think that he would be an excellent leader if we could shove him off the cliff of self-doubt and into the boat of action!"
Huaisang winced. "Maybe don't use 'shoving off a cliff' as your metaphor, for starters."
Guangyao rolled his eyes. "Of course, I didn't use that with her! I just mean he's living a very easy lifestyle right now and afraid of what more change could bring, even if that change is marrying Jiang Yanli who he has written me no fewer than twelve sad letters about."
Huaisang tapped his chin with his fan. "That's it! You need to get married, Yao-ge!"
Guangyao stared at him. "What?"
"Get married. Show you're becoming a family man, not a social climbing bachelor."
Huaisang had a good point.
"I even know the perfect candidate—"
Guangyao jumped up. "So, do I!"
He had met Qin Su a few months prior at a post-war celebration banquet. She was polite, kind, and intelligent—all things that were important to Guangyao in a possible future spouse. He wasn't really attracted to her, but when Chifeng-zun and Zewu-jun were in the room, it was hard to really take notice of anyone else.
Guangyao wanted to approach this tactfully. He wanted to make it very clear to Qin-guniang that he was not approaching her out of lust or for some other unbecoming reason. He was not his father. Instead, he proposed a proposition that would politically benefit them both. Her status and fortune would assure them a happy life and his position and connections would keep them secure in the world of cultivation.
"Yeah, sure," Qin Su said with a shrug. "Mother's been on my case about it lately and you seem very dignified, Liangfang-zun."
Guangyao had never been called dignified before and decided that this was the best idea he had ever had. Their wedding was scheduled for the following year on account of Zixuan having finally found the courage to tell Jiang Yanli that he loved her.
(Not that it's important, but Guangyao is pretty sure it was Yanli who approached Zixuan, not the other way around!)
Unfortunately. The night before the Jin-Jiang nuptials, Guangyao receives a very strange visitor.
"You must call off the wedding with my daughter," Madam Qin says. She's dressed in the not-so-discreet way ladies of status often do when they are trying to be sneaky.
"Excuse me?" Guangyao had already taken off his stupid hat and was getting ready for bed.
"You're siblings," Madam Qin confesses. "I was… that is to say, Jin Guangshan is her true father."
Guangyao very carefully sets down the brush he had been holding when Madam Qin entered.
"I am very, very sorry to hear of your misfortune, Madam. I will of course call off the wedding. But will you permit me to talk to my sister?"
Madam Qin looked hesitant. "She doesn't know."
Guangyao nodded. "I wish she didn't have to ever know, but seeing how close this call was, I feel that maybe she should be made aware."
Madam Qin sighed. "Will you tell her, then?"
Guangyao nodded.
Madam Qin stood up.
"Madam Qin?" Guangyao called as she reached the door. "I am sorry about what happened to you, and I promise, one day, you will have vengeance."
Madam Qin almost smiled.
At the next meeting of the Brotherhood of Mistreated Jins, an addendum was made to the name. They were now the Brotherhood of Mistreated Jins and Qin Su and they finally, unanimously agreed that enough was enough.
Jin Guangshan was distracted by the commotion of Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing in Yiling. Guangyao had it on good authority that it was not, in fact, a demonic cult, but actually a small farming community comprised mostly of the elderly and a little boy Wen Qing affectionately called A-Yuan. Guangyao was very excited to meet the boy that made Wen Qing's writing seem almost happy, and therefor it was better to act sooner than later.
They summoned an additional three witnesses to the event. Madam Qin agreed immediately, pausing later to whisper a 'thank you for keeping your promise' to Guangyao. Madam Jin was a bit slower to comply, but Zixuan insisted that he knew none of his siblings were up to no good. Besides, they were all in love with Yanli-jie and no one ever wanted to upset Yanli-jie.
Meng Shi was a surprise to Guangyao. He hadn't been sure she would come. "Fuck the old bastard," she whispered with a pat on his cheek. "You have a better family now."
They invited Jin Guangshan to a banquet held in his honor. He showed up late and stopped halfway through his half-assed excuses, realizing that the room was full of years worth of very bad behavior.
He was preparing to ask what the meaning of all this was when Madam Jin walked up and stabbed him in the stomach. It all got a little chaotic after that. His body was discovered the next day at the bottom of the steps of Koi Tower.
When Madam Jin was later interviewed by an outside investigative official, she explained, "He came storming into the banquet hall."
"He was screaming in a jealous rage!" confirmed Madam Qin.
"Then he ran into the knife," sobbed Qin Su, large tears coursing down her face. Either Huaisang had coached her or she was a born actor.
"He ran into the knife ten times," cried Mo Xuanyu, stealing the whole show.
It was hard to take the case further when so many of the witnesses were both esteemed and family of the deceased. Jin Guangshan's death was proclaimed qi deviation from the stress of the war and no one shed another tear about it nor bothered with any follow up reports. After all, it was a murder, but not a crime.
Guangyao was a bit aimless afterwards. His goal for so long had been to rid the world of that abomination and now that he had done it, he lacked purpose. He tried to channel that empty feeling into helping Jin Zixuan get the Jin estate running smoother than ever. He helped Yanli around the house, particularly the kitchens, as she became too big to navigate safely through the tight spaces.
When Jin Ling was born he offered to babysit as often as possible, just to alleviate the boredom.
The entire filing system in the hall of records was overhauled and he personally lobbied his plan for watchtowers throughout the lands through discussion conferences.
"You need to do something about him," Yanli told Zixuan during one of their small family dinners.
"Now," Madam Jin insisted.
Zixuan looked at them both. "I'm sorry, you want me to make a decision about this? Me?"
Both women sighed. Yanli wrote a letter to Nie Huaisang that night and by the end of the week, both brothers Nie were in Lanling. And for some reason, so was Zewu-jun.
"You're getting married, A-Yao," Zixuan told him without tact that morning before they entered the reception hall. Guangyao was given no time to respond before he was shoved into the room. At least he didn't have to wear that damn hat anymore.
In all of his scheming and politicking, Jin Guangyao had not stopped to consider much about his own future. In all that not-considering, he had definitely not imagined that it could include marriage to either of the men he was madly in love with.
That is to say, he was not prepared to enter that room, but he left it the happiest man in Lanling.
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