Archive of Our Own

Atsumu is eighteen and sullen when Hinata bursts into his life like fireworks.

It’s his second week at the military academy. The first had been filled with orientations of all kind - for lectures, for dorms, for meals - and of course, the head had droned on and on, and then his staff had droned on about rules and Atsumu had wondered if this was a military tactic to bore the students to death and make them drop out after just one week.

Maybe if Osamu had been there, they would have passed comments back and forth, and Atsumu would not have been lonely and forced to listen. But Osamu was in the South, studying diplomacy in a different university, and Atsumu was here, in the mountainous North, fulfilling their dream.

Or what he had thought was their dream. Now it’s just his.

Cursing Osamu mentally is certainly a better way to while the time away until his first class starts than talking to any of the dipshits in his year. He wanders around the large campus, half hoping he’ll get lost and have an excuse to miss class, but unfortunately, his stellar subconscious sense of direction leads him to the right place, and he finds himself in front of the building his class is in, half an hour before it actually begins.

If there’s one thing Atsumu is physically incapable of doing, it’s being late.

They’ve already been drilled all week about the importance of punctuality by at least seven different teachers, but the classroom is empty when he makes his way to the back, slides inside the two-person bench, and grabs the seat near the window. It has a good view of the garden, maybe he’ll make it his permanent place.

He ignores everyone as the class fills up slowly, chattering growing louder. No one approaches Atsumu. He supposes a week is long enough for his surly face to become his reputation.

For as long as Atsumu has known, he and Osamu have been lumped together, and despite himself, he’d gotten used to it. Eighteen years of his life, he’s always had Osamu beside him in every single thing that he did. He’d never been alone. It takes Atsumu one week in a different place all by himself for the first time in his life, to have the embarrassing realization that he does not know how to make friends at the ripe age of eighteen. It had always taken Atsumu time to talk comfortably to others and he’d lurk while Osamu approached others and made friends, and then naturally, Osamu’s friends would become their friends. None of his old classmates have made it all the way here to the military academy, and with absolutely no one he knows, Atsumu does not make the most welcoming picture and hasn’t managed to talk to anyone in his class.

He has been grumpy and prickly and has exchanged all of three sentences with his roommate, which included his name, where he was from, and which bed he would take. His roommate, someone named Suna Rintarou, has picked up on the vibes he’s giving off and doesn’t engage much. Although that could be attributed to how Atsumu had probably pissed him off by ignoring any friendly attempts he’d made straight off the bat

The second morning they’d been here, Suna had, possibly hoping for some company too, asked Atsumu to give him a second and they could go to breakfast together, but Atsumu had just ignored him on the way out that day, and every day that followed. He was being really rude, he knew, but he didn’t really have it in himself to be particularly good company. What were they even supposed to talk about? He hadn’t looked for Suna in the mess, had found a quiet corner to scarf down his breakfast and leave.

It isn’t until there’s less than a minute left for class to start that someone bursts into the room, very nearly late, eyes darting around for a place to sit. The only empty seat, Atsumu realizes, is next to him.

It seems that the orange-haired boy has the same realization, and darts quickly between the rows to reach the back.

“Hi, is this seat taken?” he asks, sounding entirely too alright for someone who should have been a bit out of breath.

Atsumu just gives a noncommittal shrug.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Hinata Shouyou,” the boy says, sitting, all bright eyes and bright smiles.

“Miya Atsumu,” he mutters in reply, and thankfully, that’s the end of the conversation as their lecturer enters. He isn’t sure he can humanly take any more of the radiant beams Hinata is directing at him.

He expects Hinata to be talkative, probably can chat the ears off someone, but is pleasantly surprised to see him listening earnestly and making notes neatly in his book.

Atsumu should really be paying more attention, but it’s the longest class he has today, quite boring and full of theoretical explanations he doesn’t want to learn, so he finds himself zoning out quickly. There’s only so much doodling he can do, and the borders of his pages are filled already.

Their lecturer is droning on in the most soporific voice, talking about the history of the Royal Guard, about how it used to consist of white-haired oldies but now it’s all young blood, and Atsumu takes one look at the bald spot on the crown of their lecturer’s head and thinks, “I’d look in a mirror if I were him.”

And ok, that’s not entirely fair because Atsumu may have known this person all of three excruciatingly dull hours, but that was rude, even if Atsumu had been bored out of his mind.

He doesn’t realize he’s whispered it out loud until there’s a snigger beside him. Hinata Shouyou had been trying to write diligently, but now his pen is rolling on his book and he has a hand clapped over his mouth.

’Tsumu, yer a bad influence on young minds, Atsumu hears his brother’s voice drawl.

Hinata’s laughter is infectious even when choked, his eyes are practically shining with mirth and Atsumu finds himself holding back a smile of his own. He quickly ducks his head as the lecturer gives them a Look, he does not want to be picked up on this early in the year.

The rest of the class passes by smoothly, and the bell rings for dismissal. It’s lunch next, and Atsumu knows it will take him exactly eight minutes to get to the mess.

“Do you want to join us for lunch?” Hinata asks with another smile as he stands up. “Just some of the others and me.”

See, Atsumu knows this is an opportunity. If Osamu were here, he’d give a smile and agree immediately, inevitably dragging Atsumu with him, but Atsumu knows that he hasn’t been the most amicable person, and who knows who else he has offended.

So, when Hinata asks him, Atsumu is hesitant, but a voice that sounds suspiciously like his brother’s says, this is a chance ya idiot and he says yes.

As it turns out, Atsumu’s initial assessment of Hinata had not been entirely wrong. Hinata loves to talk, passionately, and in the time it takes them to get to the mess, Atsumu comes to know that he’s from the very North they’re in, lives with his mother and little sister around an hour away by train, and is very excited to finally make it to the academy. Very, very excited.

Atsumu also learns that in the one single week they’ve all been here, Hinata seems to know almost everyone in their batch. By name. And there are several greetings exchanged when they enter the lunch hall and line up. They grab their food when it’s their turn, Atsumu feeling unnaturally awkward and Hinata chatting to the three people they have gathered, and then make their way to a relatively empty corner of a table.

Atsumu feels even more awkward when he sees that Suna is part of the group.

“So he got you too, huh,” Suna says, as Atsumu slides into the seat beside him. They scoot over a bit and Hinata slides in beside Atsumu.

Atsumu shrugs and feels uncharacteristically guilty. He wonders if Suna has talked about his asshole roommate and if Hinata knew before he’d invited Atsumu.

Apologize, Osamu’s voice whispers and Atsumu really rues the day his brother became his moral compass.

“Look,” he says to Suna, “About that morning-- and everything, really, I--”

“Meh,” Suna interrupts, shoving a large bite of rice in his mouth. “As much as I’d love to see you grovel, it’s ok. We’re all getting used to life here. Just promise to wake me up if I’m getting late and we’re all good. I don’t know how you’re on time every day.”

Atsumu sighs mentally in relief and smirks, a bit crooked with lingering awkwardness. “Set your goddamn alarm earlier, Sunarin.”

And little does Atsumu know then that he’s made a friend, a best friend, and years later they’d be laughing over how Atsumu had been a pissy teenager when they’d first met.

Time crawls by at the beginning of the year, and then suddenly gallops. Atsumu learns a lot. He learns that it’s hard to wake Suna up in time for morning exercises, and after the first couple of days, he gives up instead, letting him hurry into line, disheveled and hair barely brushed. He learns that the food in the mess is good, like really really good, but his mother still makes the best miso soup he’s ever had. He learns that there’s a shortcut through the small gate in the garden that goes directly to his dorm, but that part of the garden is off-bounds, so they have to be careful not to get caught. He learns the names of some of the other kids they hang out with, learns how to make friends.

Atsumu also learns that Hinata Shouyou is unlike anyone he has ever met.

Hinata is a flame-haired shortie with a mammoth presence. Atsumu instantly knows when he is around, his attention immediately gets redirected. He talks to everyone like they’re friends, even some of the students in the older years, who instantly take him under their wing. He’s awkward at times, sure, but is so unapologetically himself that Atsumu feels stupid for ever considering turning down his lunch offer.

Hinata is a smile, beaming ear to ear. He’s a twinkle in his eyes that never dies even when his smile falls. He is bouncy knees and bouncy heels, eager, excited for practically everything, at any time of the day, and Atsumu often finds himself wondering where he finds his unending energy from. One day with Hinata leaves Atsumu wondering how he manages to bring out the best of him.

But that isn’t all Hinata is.

Atsumu has always been naturally athletic, and many of the endurance exercises they’re supposed to do come easy to him. Even in school, he and Osamu had always been the last men standing, and even then, Atsumu liked to think that he inched above Osamu. In the academy though, it’s obvious that almost everyone is well-built despite being just first years and having barely begun the year, and those who aren’t will easily be with time, with the training they have to undergo.

Hinata though, beats them all. He outshines them, jumping, leaping, his eyes gleaming with devouring hunger.

Atsumu first sees it when they’re doing evening sports. He and Hinata are on opposing teams during the most intense game of futsal Atsumu has ever played, and Hinata’s team is losing, when some of the older students who’re helping their coach out direct teasing remarks to his team, which both Hinata and Atsumu overhear.

Then Hinata looks straight at Atsumu and vows to crush them and the setting sun is making his eyes gleam brighter and he looks absolutely radiant and oh wow that makes Atsumu go weak in the knees.

It’s what he sees, and keeps seeing even when he goes to bed that night, and it’s a mute realization that he definitely likes Hinata more than his other friends. Hinata Shouyou is different, much more different than anyone Atsumu has ever met, and there’s something in him that makes him want to know him better.

One of the most obvious things about the military academy is that there are rules. Rules for practically everything. Rules for when to sleep, when to get up, what to do, what not to do, how to train, where to be at what time, and so on. Even how many minute showers to take, because they live in dorms and have to take turns.

Atsumu likes it. He’d be the last person to admit it, but having rules draws lines for him, so he knows when he crosses them and when he’s toeing them. Not that it stops him from breaking them blatantly sometimes.

But there are no rules when it comes to Hinata.

Hinata is the sun and Atsumu feels like a mere tiny planet, drawn into his orbit and slowly going closer and closer until one day he might implode. The more he’s come to know Hinata, the deeper he’s falling, and it doesn't seem likely that there will ever come a time when he won't feel this much for him.

The first break comes and goes, half a year later, and Atsumu’s mother bursts into tears at the sight of him. He’s been writing to them and to Osamu regularly, and they’ve been sending him parcels and snacks when they can, but as he hugs his parents back, he realizes that he’s missed them a lot. A part of him wonders when his mother had become so teary-eyed. He doesn’t remember her crying so easily.

Osamu is home on break too, and half a year apart has changed him, as, Atsumu imagines, it has changed him too. They don’t look the same anymore, at least, not the way they did in school. Osamu is still lanky, but sturdy, like he's been running, but Atsumu is much broader now, posture straighter, and head higher, like the academy has trained the slouching out of him. But the parts of Osamu that make him his brother are still there, the sly grins, the constant ribbing, the teasing, the blatant favoritism he makes their mother show when he praises her cooking to the moon and back and she slips him more sweets for dessert.

Nothing much has changed at home, and while Atsumu expects it to be a bit harder to fit in with family again, it's easy to get swept back into life there for the next two weeks. His mother, who used to complain about having to cook all the time a year ago, now feeds them constantly, like she’s trying to fatten them up before they leave again. He tells them all about the academy and the North, like he hasn’t been writing to them, and about all his friends. Atsumu knows Osamu doesn’t miss the pink that splotches across his cheeks as he’s talking about Hinata, and gives him a curious stare, but he hopes his parents do. He isn’t ready to share that secret yet, not when it could turn out to be nothing.

When Atsumu has to return, his mother does not cry, but sends him off with a watery smile, a last hug and a pat on the cheek with a whispered write to us. It sucks to have to leave his home behind, but Atsumu isn't really sad, not when he now has two reasons to go back to the North.

Atsumu thinks his crush may have died over the break and the time apart would have dissipated his feelings at least a little bit, but on the first day back, Hinata’s there on the station, waving at everyone making it back and as he smiles at Atsumu, Atsumu finds himself blinded.

So no, he is still in deep.

It's only been two weeks, but Atsumu realizes he'd missed this, looping an arm around Hinata’s shoulder, ruffling his hair, seeing him smile, and feeling intoxicated in his mere presence.

A part of him is relieved that nothing has changed the way he feels about Hinata, if anything, he only feels like he's fallen deeper, but another part of him is just overwhelmed, because what is he supposed to do with so many things he feels about one boy?

Before the year is through, Hinata gets permission and invites his friends over to his house for lunch on a weekend. Atsumu meets his family, feeling strangely nervous and largely intimidated by his younger sister. She pins him with a stare like she can read minds and knows every single thought he's ever had about Hinata, and Atsumu stays two feet away from her out of self-preservation.

But when they go back to the academy that night, walking back from the station after having taken the last train back, Hinata loops his arm into Atsumu's, laughter puffing out as clouds into the freezing night. It really shouldn't be new to Atsumu, the rapid pit-a-pat his heart takes to beating, the heat where Hinata is pressed against him, the eyes crinkling into crescents like they always do.

But it is new, for Atsumu to realize with a soft smile, when he's probably a bit delirious from the cold, that he is irrevocably in love with Hinata Shouyou.

Atsumu is eleven when he first dreams of joining the Royal Guard, and, like everything else in his life, it's because Osamu does too.

He and Osamu are in the Capital, their parents had a boring conference to attend and had decided to book an overnight room at an inn and make it a weekend family trip. The trip to the Capital only takes a couple of hours, and once they’ve dropped their stuff off at the inn, they go out to the conference hall.

It isn’t the first time the twins have been to the Capital. The Capital is the pride of their kingdom, and at least once a year, their school brings them on trips to see some of the important historical sites and museums. Their parents’ work also brings them to the Capital often, and they bring the twins along sometimes.

This is the first time that they are letting the twins roam about on their own though. Well, not entirely alone. There’s a local fair some distance away, and Atsumu and Osamu have been allowed to go with some of the older children of the other members at the conference, instead of hanging out at the inn all evening. They are under strict instructions to stick together, and Atsumu has been given some money and a piece of paper with the address of their inn and of the conference hall written in his pocket.

It’s stupid, Atsumu thinks. He and Osamu are more than capable of taking care of themselves and of each other. They don’t need babysitters. They’re not babies anymore. Chaperons, Atsumu, he hears his mother explaining gently. Yeah, well, everyone knows chaperones are glorified babysitters anyway.

At times like these, Atsumu regrets a bit that his parents are quite older than his friends’. Sometimes it feels like they live in times different than everyone else is in, like they don’t fully understand that it alright for Atsumu and Osamu to stay out a bit later than sunset, like they don't really get the latest trends but dubiously go along with Osamu’s energetic explanations. They’ve started letting them go out with their friends on weekends without parental supervision, but not before asking them what their plans are and where they’ll be in great detail. Maybe that almost-kidnapping in the market in broad daylight a few months ago had shaken them up more than he thought.

It’s still stupid. Atsumu bets that any of their friends’ parents would have let them go to the fair all alone today.

Perhaps it’s time for another family discussion his parents always encourage. Maybe he and Osamu can put their arguments forth, but then they’d also have to listen to his parents’ side, but maybe they’d find some middle ground.

For now, though, Atsumu is ok with the babysitters if it means that they don’t have to hang out in their room at the boring inn or at the even more boring conference. He and Osamu swear to their parents that they won’t lose their chaperones before setting off.

The fair is exciting, far more than any fair the twins have seen in their town. The Capital certainly does things on a larger scale, and everything seems grand. The fair itself is spread out over a much larger area, labyrinths of roads and side-alleys lined with small and big stalls. Large unlit lanterns dot the area, and it would look really pretty once the sun sets, Atsumu thinks.

The older children who are supposed to be chaperoning them are really invested in trying every game they come across. It’s fine for the first two or three, Atsumu and Osamu are interested too, but they quickly understand that games at fairs in the Capital, just like in fairs back home, are rigged, a realization that either the others have not had, or are determined to prove wrong.

Atsumu and Osamu do a good job at sticking to the others until they hit the half dozen mark. There isn’t much variety to the games, but these scrubs want to stop every time, and truth be told, Atsumu would rather go check out some food stalls, and he knows Osamu would agree. There are some fantastic smells of taiyaki coming from where they’re at, and it only takes hearing Osamu’s stomach grumble audibly to make up his mind.

If they let the babysitters know where they are, it still counts as sticking to them, right? They can always keep an eye on them and join them after having some snacks, and the taiyaki stall isn’t that far away from here anyway. Maybe some of the other kids want to join too.

So he announces loudly that he and Osamu would like to go check out the food stalls, but only gets a disinterested shrug in return. Nobody wants to join them. Atsumu doesn’t mind. He has Osamu, and he might actually like babysitters who don’t want to babysit.

Feeling delighted at their tiny piece of newfound freedom, he and Osamu scamper off to the taiyaki stall. Except after they finish the taiyaki, Osamu gets distracted and they follow the tantalizing smells of anpan a few stalls away. They have their fill and step into what seems like a food section of the fair. It feels like a piece of heaven. They can still see the older kids at a game stall nearby though, so he figures it wouldn’t hurt to glance around a bit before joining them.

What feels like an hour later, but might have been two or even three, they’ve lost sight of their chaperones, who don’t come looking for them either. Atsumu shrugs. He and Osamu have an excellent sense of direction and he’s positive he remembers all the turns they took from the games stall. Nursing their bloated bellies and holding a bag of dango each for their parents, they begin retracing their steps. The conference must have ended by now, and maybe if they return on time, their parents can bring them back so they can see the lanterns.

Except, Osamu is clearly not as good at directions as he is, because there was definitely a left they’d taken after that place with the really good grilled fish they’d shared, so they should go right now, but Osamu is insisting that they’d had taken a left before not after, and look, that’s the shop they had the skewers, Osamu was right--

But he’s not. That’s not the shop they’d had skewers, and that’s not the correct fish stall either. They’re lost.

“The address,” Osamu finally says after they go around in circles for a while. “We can ask someone to guide us.” Atsumu’s pride smarts, but he fishes the paper out.

It’s easy in theory, but at the first stall they approach, the uncle is so busy that he barely pays them any heed. The second is better, but the auntie gives them directions complicated enough that they end up in a completely different area, but still inside the fairgrounds.

There are a lot more people milling about now, closer to sunset. Atsumu loses count of how many people they ask for directions, but he gets a bad feeling after one of the men says, “Are you lost, boy?” and looks at him with such eyes that he panics and drags Osamu away.

Vaguely, he remembers his father telling them how the Capital is not all that great as it seems. It’s a good and a bad place, boys, and Atsumu remembers being a bit confused because they were always taught in school about how the Capital is the best place in the kingdom, but he thinks he now gets what his dad had meant.

It’s gotten darker. The lanterns are being lit one by one, but Atsumu doesn’t find them pretty anymore. He just wants to go home. He’s sick of this stupid city and its stupid people. He knows Osamu has eaten up the dango from his bag out of nervousness, but he still has his, clutched in one hand while the other grips his brother’s hand tightly, not wanting to lose him in the jostling crowd too, and pulls him to a relatively empty spot.

“What do we do?” Osamu asks, fear palpable in the tremor of his voice.

“It’ll be fine,” Atsumu replies automatically. “We’ll find a way.”

Osamu does not look convinced. “We’re lost, ‘Tsumu! Lost in a city we don’t even know, and people here are stupid and awful!”

“Well, maybe ya should have asked less creepy people!” Atsumu retorts hotly, ignoring the fear thudding in his own chest.

“Yer so stupid! Ya said you knew where we were goin’! If we were near the entrance, mum and dad would’ve seen us when they came to find us.”

“Yeah well, ya should have used yer stupid brain and not your stomach to think! And what makes you think they’ll come for us anyway?”

Osamu freezes, eyes wide, like he’s never considered that possibility. That there is a chance they’d be stuck in this godawful place forever, that their parents would abandon them, would willingly leave them to fend for themselves. That they’d never see them again. His eyes fill up instantly.

Oh, no no. Atsumu hadn’t meant to say that. He doesn’t even know where it came from, frustration boiling up and his fear making him blurt it out.

It is no secret to both Atsumu and Osamu that they’re adopted. They’d been young enough to not remember much of their time in the orphanage, but their parents had never hidden it from them as they grew up. They’d been trying to have children with no success and had almost given up as they grew older, but then Atsumu and Osamu had come to them like miracles. It didn’t make their love any different than other families, his parents had said. We love you both so so much.

Atsumu feels even worse now. He and ‘Samu had never felt unloved, not even when they were really stubborn and did not want to listen, and all his parents did then was to explain gently, and here Atsumu was, making his younger twin cry over something stupid he’d thoughtlessly blabbed.

“‘Samu,” Atsumu says, close to tears himself. He and Osamu had never been able to stand watching each other cry without bursting into tears themselves. “‘Samu, don’t cry. We’ll, we’ll find a way, we’ll ask more people. Mum and dad must be lookin' for us already. They’re sure to ask around too. We’ll find them. Don’t cry.”

Before Atsumu can wipe Osamu’s tears away, a deep voice chimes in, “Is everything alright?”

Atsumu turns around. There stands the tallest man Atsumu has ever seen, in a uniform which he has learned at school belongs to the Royal Guard. Badges and medallions cover every inch of his chest, glinting dangerously even in the soft light of the lanterns, and Atsumu feels very intimidated, but the man has a gentle smile as he crouches to give Osamu a hanky.

“We’re lost,” Osamu hiccups. “D'ya know where the conference hall is?”

Osamu isn't doing a very good job, smearing his tears and snot instead of wiping it, and Atsumu dives in to help.

“Well,” the tall stranger says. “I was about to head there myself, maybe we can go together.”

Atsumu wants to hug this nice, perfect man, who is so unlike the other stupid people in this stupid Capital, and it’s only his father’s strict stranger-danger speech echoing in his brain that makes him stop. Osamu, though, does not seem to have the same hesitations, but Atsumu pulls him back before he can take a step.

“Give us a minute,” he says importantly, like he’s seen his dad do, and turns his back to the Guard who is now watching with a bit of amusement.

A quick hissed discussion mainly consisting of Atsumu reminding Osamu of the stranger-danger speech later, they decide to let the Guard accompany them to the entrance of the fair. The road from there had been easy enough, and this time, Atsumu thinks determinedly, he’s not going to let Osamu waylay him.

The Guard agrees, and they follow him as he winds through the confusing maze of stall-lined roads. Unlike the stranger-danger roleplay their dad had done with them, the Guard does not ask more about Atsumu and Osamu, or where they’re from, and doesn’t even offer them any food.

Atsumu is burning with curiosity though. All that he knows about the Royal Guard is that they’re supposed to protect the kingdom and its people. Does this mean they’re glorified babysitters too?

“So,” he begins. “You look like yer important. What do you do?”

Osamu shoots him a look like he thinks Atsumu’s stupid for forgetting the speech he’d given Osamu less than two minutes ago. Atsumu shrugs. He’s not asking for names, this should be fine.

“I’m part of the Royal Guard,” the stranger replies, slowing down as they weave through a large group of people. “It is my job to protect the kingdom, our royal family, and all of our people.”

“Like a babysitter?”

The stranger pauses for a second before breaking into loud guffaws which draw the attention of others around them.

“Sure, like a babysitter,” he says, chuckling. “Just that there is more responsibility. And danger. Imagine babysitting the King. It’s important, isn’t it?”

Atsumu can’t even wrap his head around the idea that the King is babysat every day. The King is the most important person in the kingdom. Nothing could happen to him. Protecting him sounded like it was very hard, and maybe babysitters were a bit cool.

“What kind of danger?” Osamu pipes in, eager.

“Well,” the stranger begins, and then follows a story that sounds so ridiculously unreal that Atsumu is ready to call out the other on his lies, but he finds himself getting deeper in it as it continues, and can’t stop gasping at one point because he’d definitely thought the Guard in the story had been a goner but he’d managed to save the King and himself, and that was so so cool, the Royal Guard was the coolest thing ever.

Atsumu is pretty sure he and Osamu have stars in their eyes by the time they reach the fair entrance.

He doesn’t want Mr.Guard to leave them so soon though, he wants to hear more, he wants to know what all the badges on his uniform are for, and what the tiny fox on his sleeve means.

He’s about to ask him to accompany them to the conference hall after all, maybe pretend that he doesn’t remember the way just so Mr.Guard can tell them more exciting stories, but a shout from Osamu distracts him.

“Mama!”

Then Atsumu finds himself running towards his parents, who are talking to someone worriedly, but whirl around to catch him and Osamu. The bag of dango Atsumu’s holding gets squished a bit as his mum hugs him tight, patting his hair and making sure he’s ok. Atsumu almost forgets Mr.Guard, but his dad is then thanking him profusely for helping their sons.

The stranger’s name is Oomimi, and Atsumu never forgets it. He wants his father to invite Oomimi for dinner together so he and Osamu can ask him all the questions they're practically burning to ask, but as it turns out, Oomimi had not been lying and he did have to get to the conference hall for work. It is with great disappointment that Atsumu says goodbye, turning his best puppy eyes on Oomimi, but the Guard seems to be immune to them. Oomimi smiles, ruffles Atsumu’s hair when he presses the dango in Oomimi’s hands as a thank you gift, and takes his leave.

Dinner is filled with the twins' loud chatter. Together they regale their parents at least thrice with the story Oomimi has told them by the time bedtime rolls around. Atsumu knows that they’ll probably get a talking-to tomorrow for all that had happened, but for tonight, he finds himself too excited to sleep.

“He was so so cool, ‘Samu,” he says out loud, lying in bed, much later than when he should be awake.

“Yeah, he was,” Osamu replies, sounding starstruck himself.

When they return home, Atsumu and Osamu insist on knowing all there is about the Royal Guard because that is now their dream. They pore over books together, and their parents even take them to the annual Royal March in the Capital every year from then. The memory of Oomimi grows a bit hazy over the years, but the twins dream harder.

Seven years later though, Osamu dreams a different dream, or maybe their dream had been only Atsumu’s all along, he doesn’t know anymore. All he knows is that it isn’t just a simple quarrel, it’s the ugliest fight they’ve ever had. Atsumu thinks Osamu is joking at first, but then when they’ve wrestled and pinned each other hard enough to bruise real bad and Osamu has a split lip and Atsumu’s cheek is red with the imprint of knuckles, when even their mother’s shriek of horror and his father’s shout at discovering them fighting can’t make them stop, he realizes that what he feels is betrayal.

Atsumu has never imagined doing anything else after finishing school than making the trip North with his brother, going to the military academy, and becoming a Royal Guard, just like Oomimi, or maybe even better. He has never had to imagine a future where Osamu would not be a part of his life like he is now, where he doesn’t have the support of his brother right beside him, where they would both end up at opposite ends of the kingdom.

And maybe Atsumu is blowing things out of proportion, maybe he should be trying to understand like Osamu is trying to tell him, maybe they should sit and talk about it instead of throwing fists, but he’s hurt that Osamu had had second thoughts about their dream and had never spoken until now. Who would have thought there would come a day when Osamu would hide things from him.

I hope you two can make up before you leave, his mum tells them, when they call a family meeting so Atsumu and Osamu can resolve their fight. They aren’t surprised by Osamu’s decision, which meant that they had known. That hurts too.

Atsumu says the obligatory apologies without meaning them, and lets Osamu’s words swim past one ear through the other. He says a lot of things he doesn’t mean, but what hurts the most is that Osamu means every single thing he says. That the idea of being a Guard didn’t make him happy anymore, not like Atsumu. That he’d grown to like the idea of becoming a diplomat or opening his own eatery, and Atsumu had almost laughed at the sheer polarity of those ideas but hadn’t, because they would both lead Osamu to the South while Atsumu would be up in the North. That Osamu hadn’t told him because he’d known this was how Atsumu would react, even if it wouldn’t change the dream Atsumu has.

And Atsumu realizes that it doesn’t, not really. Sure, some parts of what he’d wanted would change. Osamu wouldn’t be there, and it would be really weird, but even after his revelation, there is no part of Atsumu that wants to give up going to the military academy.

They’ve never really held grudges for long, so they don’t fight about it again, but Atsumu is still half-hoping that Osamu will change his mind. The night before Osamu is due to leave for the South though, he finds Atsumu sitting in the large window that looks out into their yard. He joins him, deliberately bumping Atsumu’s leg with his own.

“Ya better be happy, ‘Tsumu,” he says. Atsumu keeps his eyes trained on the night sky. “‘Cause I’m gonna be happier than ya.”

And Atsumu does not refute, because what Osamu said might already be true, and Atsumu has no idea how to change that, how not to feel the way he’s feeling right now, but damn if he’s ever let Osamu win easily.

At the end of the day though, they're brothers, they're family, and even with the bruises that still linger between them, they love each other, and it’ll only be months later that they’ll see each other again, so the next morning, Atsumu hugs Osamu goodbye and turns away when his train chuffs away from the platform. Tomorrow, he’ll leave for the North, and Osamu will be in the South, and Atsumu thinks that it's a fitting metaphor for how different they have become now.

Hinata is eighteen when he falls for a loudmouthed but awkward boy who drawls every second sentence.

It’s a slow realization because Hinata has been told that he is oblivious on his best days, and it takes him many sleepless nights, a lot of overthinking, and several long letters with honest heart-to-hearts with his mother to conclude, months after he has first met him, that yes, he likes Miya Atsumu. Like a lot. Really a lot.

He might even love him, but that’s a box Hinata does not want to open yet.

Miya Atsumu is all loud smiles and playful banter, and falling for him is easy. All it takes is a smile in the morning for Hinata to feel like he could marathon all the surrounding mountain ranges in a day. Once Yamaguchi mentions Atsumu’s biceps in passing, and suddenly it’s all Hinata sees day in and day out. The delight that spreads across Atsumu’s face when he gets letters from home makes Hinata’s heart beat at twice its usual speed.

Atsumu loves touching, as does Hinata. There’s always a casual arm around his neck when they walk from one class to the next, a little lap-borrowing when Atsumu lays his head in Hinata’s lap to catch a ten-minute snooze at the end of lunch, a hand through his hair to pick out the small leaves when they’re sitting in the shade of the large tree in the garden, and the more it happens the harder Hinata feels that his heart will explode in a burst of colorful heart-shaped confetti and reveal his feelings to Atsumu before he is ready.

He has it bad.

The thing is, that he and Atsumu are Royal Guards in training first, peel off that layer, they are people second, and then follow all the other labels and attachments. Nothing is forbidden, of course not, but Hinata finds himself wondering how his mother had felt knowing that she'd always come second for his father. He doesn't think Atsumu would settle for anything but first, and he shouldn't have to either.

The military academy is competitive, even if close to thirty percent of the students in their year never come back from their first break. It happens every year, their teachers tell them. Ten percent of you won't come back for the next year, they're told with piercing gazes, as if they know exactly who won’t.

So, although Hinata spends practically every waking moment with Atsumu, it's only at night after curfew that he lets himself really think, lying in bed and staring at the dark ceiling, replaying every moment, every smirk like it's a goddamn drama and he's smitten, until he falls asleep to the thought of Atsumu.

Falling for Atsumu is also a competition. Atsumu has a twin brother and Hinata has always hated to lose, and every drill, every exercise, every sport they play is a test of their competitive spirits. A bit of friendly rivalry never hurt anyone, except there’s nothing friend-like about what Hinata feels for Atsumu. They compete for grades too, but help each other study at the end of the day, and when watching Atsumu twirl his pencil mesmerizes him to the point that he wishes he was a thin cylindrical piece of wood in Atsumu’s long fingers, he realizes that he’s pining and it’s getting ridiculous now.

Hinata knows that he’s being really obvious, but it seems that Atsumu is at least as oblivious as Hinata, if not worse.

“He likes you,” is the first thing Natsu tells him when he steps through the door in the break after their first year is over. Hinata had brought his friends home a few days ago to celebrate the end of exams.

Hinata stops and only utters a completely useless, “What?”

“Your stupid crush, you idiot,” Natsu replies impatiently, and Hinata wants to clear it with his mother that he is not the reason for Natsu’s vocabulary. He doesn’t know whether to be offended that a twelve-year-old called him an idiot or that she called Atsumu stupid, or even how she knows anything since he’s only ever told mum, but decides to let it go. Maybe Hinata has been an extremely obvious fool for Atsumu.

“Of course he likes you,” Yamaguchi says with confusion, like Hinata’s asked him if the sky is truly blue and the grass is truly green, when they all join back for their second year. The teachers had been right, like always, and he sees that some people haven’t come back for the second year.

Ennoshita gives him a sympathetic pat and says, with what he thinks is reassurance but is really unhelpful to Hinata right now, “You’ll never know if you never tell him.”

Ginjima is even worse, replying with a perplexed, “Wait, you’re not together already?”

Everyone else is varying on the levels of unhelpfulness, and Hinata puts off talking to Suna the last.

Suna is Atsumu’s best friend, and essentially, should have been the first person Hinata approached, but he’s also someone who is solidly by Atsumu’s side, hail or snow, even if he doesn’t show it. Hinata knows he doesn’t need the best friend’s seal of approval, but also knows that Suna will always take Atsumu’s side.

In hindsight, it was stupid to keep Suna for last, because he’s the only one with helpful advice. It seems that Suna is just as fed up with the pining as Hinata is, because suddenly they’re hatching out a plan for Hinata to confess.

Hinata. Confessing. To Atsumu.

“Atsumu is an oblivious dunderhead,” Suna says, and if Hinata could read minds, he’s sure Suna would be saying and so are you. “You have to take things in your own hands.”

Which was fine. Hinata was a confident, young man. What could happen if things went wrong? They’d lose their friendship. Things would become really awkward with their friends’ circle. Atsumu would hate Hinata. They’d never talk to each other again.

Great.

But Hinata is no stranger to taking risks, and he makes up his mind to at least go through with the plan.

Hinata had made the North his home when he was a child, and if there is one thing that he loves the most about the North, it’s the mountains. His home is in a town nestled in the foothills of one, and as a child, he’d spent a lot of time wandering the slopes with his friends, in awe of the tall peaks that seemed to break the sky. Hinata had always been shorter than his peers and the mountains made him feel smaller in comparison to the whole wide world, but they also inspired him to do better and be better.

The mountains surround the academy too, but the best place to see them was from the roof of their dorm. Hinata had discovered his sanctuary a month into the first year, when he’d had a lot on his mind that he didn’t want to think about.

So on the next full moon, Hinata sneaks Atsumu to the roof silently, through a tiny caged door leading to a narrow passageway and then up the metal ladder. It’s very nearly curfew, and everyone else is already in their rooms. It’s also insurance against the very likely possibility that Atsumu would reject him, and Hinata could then make a swift escape and under the excuse of the curfew, not see him at least until tomorrow morning.

“I come here every time I need to think but I don't want to,” Hinata says as he leads them to stand at the far wall on the edge. They could easily be spotted from the ground, but he knows from experience that security won’t patrol until it’s after curfew.

Just a few more minutes.

“You never told me,” Atsumu says, teasingly. “I’ve been havin’ my mental breakdowns in the spare blankets closet and gettin’ caught by the upperclassmen.”

Usually, this was where Hinata would laugh, and tease Atsumu back, but he finds himself too nervous for more than a shaky smile. Atsumu looks confused.

Right when it’s curfew, all the lights in the buildings are turned off, and the bright lamps on the road below are dimmed. Hinata tips his head back to look at the sky. There are some clouds, but the moon is full and bright. There are no lights on the roof, only the moonlight falling in strange shadows over them.

“Look around,” Hinata says.

It feels like an eternity passes before Atsumu replies.

“It’s beautiful,” he breathes.

It is. With all the lights mostly gone, the moon shines on the mountains in the distance, illuminating their snow-capped peaks. It’s a dull radiance, with the light less bright and less harsh than the sun, but it’s beautiful nonetheless.

But when Hinata turns to Atsumu, he sees that Atsumu isn’t looking around but at him, a look in his eyes that Hinata cannot place, but that makes him keep staring into the depths of Atsumu’s soft eyes.

Hinata doesn’t know how, but suddenly he’s holding both of Atsumu’s hands in his, pulling him closer and clearing his throat.

“I--,” he clears his throat again. “I brought you here because there’s something I want to tell you.”

“Go on,” Atsumu replies when Hinata pauses, and shifts closer, the dance of the dark and the moonlight making him look impossibly soft.

“I--,” Hinata tries, words stuck somewhere far deep in his throat. He’s determined to pull them out if it comes to it, but he feels like his heart will come out instead. “I really li--”

And then Hinata can’t think anymore, his brain is just white noise and the sounds of cicadas around because there’s a soft pressure against his lips, and it’s not possible, it’s impossible that Atsumu has kissed him, but Hinata definitely saw everything, eyes wide, and it’s replaying in his head like a broken record.

“I like you,” Atsumu blurts out, looking a bit nervous himself now, hands still grasping Hinata’s tightly like his grip can convey the intensity of his feelings.

And Hinata laughs softly, because of course this is a competition too with Atsumu, but Hinata doesn’t feel like he’s lost, not when he can free one hand and place it gently on Atsumu’s cheek.

“I really like you,” Hinata counters, pulling him closer.

As expected, it sets Atsumu off, “I really really rea--”

But Hinata cuts him off this time, weaving his hand around Atsumu’s neck and pulling him down to crash their lips together. It’s awkward, and Hinata hates that he has to tiptoe, but Atsumu steadies him with an arm around his waist.

They kiss for what feels like forever. Atsumu feels really good against his lips, his biceps feel really good under Hinata’s hand, and the short buzz of the freshly cut hair on the base of his neck is a bit prickly, but Hinata doesn’t mind.

And as determined as Hinata had been, his face feels like it will combust when they finally pull apart, and they’re close enough for Hinata to see that Atsumu has gone red too. They link their hands again, smiling like fools, and Hinata spares a thought to how perfectly their fingers interlock before Atsumu pulls him in again and Hinata feels like he could just. Sprout wings. And fly. So so high.

"Just so we're clear, I'm calling you my boyfriend now,” Atsumu says later, when they finally decide that they’ve broken curfew by far too long, and Hinata's heart beats in this weird leaping rhythm that yells yes yes yesss.

"I'm holding you to that,” Hinata replies, with another peck.

The next morning, when they walk into breakfast holding hands, all of their friends yell, “Finally!!” loud enough to earn punishment laps around the campus and that's that.

But Atsumu squeezes his hand under the table, grinning, and Hinata thinks that he'll have to start learning to eat with his left hand because there’s no way he’s letting go. Ever.

Nothing much changes after that. They still go to class together, Atsumu still snakes an arm around his shoulders, but sometimes they hold hands too. They find themselves on the rooftop a lot more frequently, sometimes before curfew and sometimes after. They find new places to make out secretly all over the campus and get caught an embarrassing number of times, but the rooftop on a full moon night is still a favorite.

Hinata falls in love with Atsumu, and strikes him speechless when he tells him that first, a few months later.

Atsumu is twenty-three and a fresh graduate out of the military academy when he realizes that he wants to spend the rest of his life with Hinata.

It is hardly the first time he's had this realization, but it catches his breath and sends his heart pounding every time he does.

Here's someone Atsumu fell in love with as a boy, and wants to stay with even as he becomes a man.

They’re on the roof of their dorm, an impromptu party of sorts to celebrate them graduating, the last time they can break the rules. Tomorrow, they'll all go their separate ways, leaving behind the memories of five years spent together.

The ceremony had been in the morning. Atsumu's parents had kept work aside and made the long journey to the North. Families hadn't been allowed to meet their children until the end of course, but from where Atsumu had been seated, he'd caught a glimpse of his mum and dad, and, Atsumu saw with surprise, Osamu.

Osamu had never mentioned in his letters that he'd be coming, and had complained so much of having extra work for his post-graduate degree when they’d met last break that Atsumu hadn't even pushed it. But there he was, with an arm around their mother who already had a hanky to her eyes before the ceremony had even begun, in the military academy in the North, like Atsumu had always imagined five years ago.

Atsumu hadn't felt the same bitterness he had felt all those years ago though. It was a good surprise. He was really happy his entire family was there.

The ceremony had gone by without a hitch as rehearsed. There were a lot of speeches by important people and invited guests, a lot of talk about responsibility and about the future, and Atsumu couldn't help but glance at the bob of orange hair seated down the line at the thought of his future.

The graduates who would become the Royal Family's personal Guard went last, and so did Atsumu and Hinata. He had watched with pride as Suna and Hinata had marched forward to get their certificates and their badges pinned.

Then Atsumu had done the same, and suddenly he had officially become a Royal Guard.

His parents had cried again when they'd been allowed to mingle with their families, his mum wiping the tears falling fast from her eyes with her hanky yet again, running a trembling hand over all the badges he'd gathered in his time at the academy. Osamu had looked suspiciously dewy-eyed as well, as he'd clapped Atsumu on the back and pulled him into a hug, only to give him a noogie and mess up his carefully styled hair.

Lunch had been loud, with Hinata's family and his, and Suna's mums had joined as well, looking a bit apprehensive at all the ruckus but were quickly pulled into a conversation by the other parents.

The afternoon had been free for the graduates to spend with their families, and they'd picked a quiet spot in the garden to sit and chat while many others showed their campus off to their families.

Atsumu's parents had already toured it once before, a couple of years ago, when they'd come to visit him right before his break. It had been the first time in a long while that he'd realized that his parents really were getting older, an increasing amount of grey turning white in their hair, the tremble of his mother's hands, and the limp in his father's bad knee getting more pronounced. He'd learned then to walk slower so they could keep up and skipped all the places that had many stairs so they could enjoy their time more and not exhaust themselves before their long train back home.

It had also been the time Atsumu had introduced Hinata to them. They knew who he was, of course they did, what with all the months of Atsumu writing about him in every letter, but they'd met him in person for the first time. For all the pep talk Hinata had given Atsumu when he'd met Hinata's family, he'd been oddly shy, and Atsumu had found himself a bit nervous as well. He knew that he didn’t need his parents’ approval, he knew that they would accept Atsumu’s choices wholeheartedly, but a part of him had still heaved a mental sigh of relief when his mother had pulled Hinata into one of her mum hugs, patting his red cheeks. Atsumu knew his parents had begun writing to Hinata too since then.

It was the first time Osamu was meeting Hinata, although they’d been exchanging letters, but judging by how Hinata's eyes had shone and he'd excitedly begun telling Osamu about how well his recipe tips had worked, Atsumu thinks they'll get along well. Osamu had had little interest in touring the campus, and where five years ago Atsumu might have forced him along, eager to point out everything that Osamu was missing, still hoping he would change his mind, time had changed them both. Atsumu had long realized that he would not stand in the way of Osamu’s dreams, just like his brother would support his.

Sometimes, being identical twins had its perks, and he and Suna had already made an elaborate plan to sneak Osamu into the dorm later.

Now they’d shooed their families off to their homes and inns first, and their large group of graduating friends is lounging around on the roof. It had been ridiculously easy to sneak Osamu in wearing Atsumu's spare uniform, although they’d had to tuck in a lot to make it fit. Someone had snuck in some booze (Atsumu knew that box one of Suna's mums had brought in was too heavy for it to be food), and they all lay in varying states of tipsiness, reminiscing about their classes like they were eighty already and hadn't had a full day of them just yesterday.

Osamu has gelled into their group in a matter of minutes, and Atsumu vaguely hears him complaining about how good lunch had been, way better than his own university.

The moon is high, a dull crescent, and the stars are all out, when Atsumu drags Hinata away from the group to their usual spot behind the large water tank, ignoring their friends' hooting. You don't wanna know, Suna is telling Osamu, who wrinkles his face in vague disgust as Atsumu waggles his eyebrows. Hinata laughs as they almost stumble in the dark, but Atsumu steadies them and pulls him along more insistently.

Their lips are on each other’s the second they duck out of everyone’s view. Hinata traps Atsumu against the wall, grips his hair, and pulls him down to slot their mouths together over and over. It’s a bit electrifying, the realization that this is the last time they get to do this, that from tomorrow starts a whole new part of their lives, a new life together beyond the walls of the academy.

It feels good, kissing Hinata always does, but there’s something about having him press close to Atsumu under the stars, licking into his mouth, and gripping his hips that is reminiscent of the very first time they did this, and it makes Atsumu feel a bit feral and soft at the same time.

Maybe it's all the talk about the future, maybe it's the impending endings and beginnings, maybe it's all the emotions Atsumu can't seem to keep inside him anymore.

“Marry me,” he gasps as they tear apart to breathe, and Hinata has started a steady path of kisses down Atsumu’s jaw.

Hinata stops like he isn't sure he's heard it right.

Their friends are loud, hollering and cackling loudly over something funny no doubt, and they are bound to get caught at this rate, but Atsumu can only hear his own heart thudding loudly in his chest. Someone tries to shush them but fails.

“Are you drunk?” Hinata blurts out to Atsumu, who can’t help but wince. This was definitely bad timing. This is not how he’d thought he’d do this. “You know we can’t.”

It’s true. One of the first things they learn in military academy is what they should be prepared to give up if they chose to go down this path. The Royal Guard are married to their kingdom, first and foremost, secondly to their duty, and thirdly to the royal family. They have no religion. They are allowed unions, and can give their names to their children, but cannot have marriages in the religious or traditional sense.

“I know,” Atsumu almost snaps, but averts his eyes and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. He hadn't ever thought this was how things would go down, but Hinata's rejection hurt all the same. “Forget it--”

“But I will,” Hinata continues. “Have a union with you that is.”

And it's with the same intense eyes that Atsumu fell in love with that Hinata is looking at him now, and Atsumu drowns in them yet again, his words dying in his mouth, his own eyes wide. They've talked about the future, they’ve talked about living together in the Capital as they worked in the personal Guard of the King and his Consort, they've talked about countless forevers, but nothing has ever felt like this.

This is real. This is Atsumu proposing and Hinata saying yes.

Hinata grabs Atsumu’s face with both hands, and Atsumu thinks he can really die like this and have no regrets, his gaze and mind filled with just Hinata, Hinata, Hinata.

“Just later, not now,” Hinata completes.

He is serious. They’re actually considering this, Hinata actually said yes. Atsumu thinks he’s dreaming. They stare at each other like that for a while, until Hinata reaches up and plants another kiss on Atsumu's lips, softer this time.

"Later," Atsumu confirms almost questioningly when they break apart.

"When you earn enough in the Consort's Guard to buy us rings," Hinata teases, poking Atsumu in the side. Atsumu grins, messes up Hinata’s hair, and goes to poke him back, but Hinata dodges with a yelp and darts away, turning around to stick out his tongue at Atsumu.

He is so stupidly in love. He's going to spend the rest of his life with Hinata. Atsumu can’t help the smile that spreads across his face. Forever is theirs now.

Later is good, Atsumu thinks, as he chases Hinata around the roof, and their friends watch, shaking their heads, too used to these antics. Later is fantastic.

This is just the beginning for both of them, they have the rest of their lives after all.

Hinata is seven, and his little sister Natsu is just a baby, when that one smiley uncle he knows as his dad’s friend and who always brings the best gifts comes home. He is not smiling this time though, and neither does he have any gifts.

Hinata’s mother sends him off to Natsu’s room to help keep an eye on her, but he sneaks back and hides behind the curtains in the passage that allow him to peek into the living room.

Uncle has a small cloth bag from which he extracts a uniform which looks exactly like the one his father wears, medallions and all (there are twelve, he remembers his father had told him all about each one of them), and hands it over to Hinata’s mother. He also places metal tags in his mother’s shaking palms, and Hinata thinks he sees a ring on the chain, and the kanji for his own last name engraved deeply on one of the tags.

Hinata is surprised to see a tear escape his mother’s eyes, but she sniffs and wipes it away quickly. She does not cry again.

Uncle and his mother talk about something in low voices, and Hinata strains his ears, but the only words he catches are long and complicated, like the ones his teacher said they would learn in middle school. What does condolences even mean?

Uncle looks sad. Hinata does not like it when people are sad. He remembers how giving Izumi a hug had helped his friend stop crying when he'd fallen on the playground and scraped his knees and palms. He wonders if Uncle is hurt somewhere too.

Their conversation does not last long after that and when Hinata is called back in to say goodbye, he asks Uncle if he'd like a hug when they see him off in the entryway. Uncle smiles wanly, crouches, and opens his arms. Hinata gives him a tight hug, like the ones his father says can squeeze the sadness out of a person. Uncle ruffles his hair, bows to his mother, and leaves.

Dinner is quiet that night. Natsu seems tired and conks out pretty quickly. Hinata wants to tell his mother about how his team had won in sports period at school, but his mother does not ask him about his day like she usually does. He helps her clear the table and dries the dishes in silence after she washes them. He waits for her to tell him to get ready for a bath, but she sits back down at the table and takes out the metal tags from her pocket.

There is Hinata engraved across them, and with the number of times he has played with the tags as they hung around his father’s neck, ring and all, he recognizes the characters for his father’s name too.

“Are those dad’s?” he asks. His mother keeps turning them over and over and does not answer.

“What does condolences mean?” he asks instead, and something in his mother seems to break a little at that.

She draws him close and tells him that his father is gone and is never coming back. Hinata doesn’t understand. He doesn't understand what being dead means, not really, and neither does he understand the gravity of the situation, but tears are pouring down his mother's cheeks now, and watching her cry makes him cry too.

“It’s ok,” he tries to tell her, like his dad always told him to tell Natsu when she cried a lot. Sometimes, she gets scared, Shouyou. Sometimes, she needs someone to tell her everything is alright.

“It will be,” his mother replies. They spend the night hugging and reassuring each other that it will all be ok, that they'll be fine.

Hinata doesn't remember much of the funeral. He remembers seeing a wall full of flowers, and his father's picture in the middle. He remembers his father’s smile in the picture. He remembers a lot of important-looking people whom he doesn’t know, dressed in uniforms similar to his dad’s. He remembers coming home after. He remembers waiting for his father to come home too. He remembers that never happens.

That house isn’t their home for long after that. Everything in the Capital seems to remind his mother of his dad and she decides it would be for the best to relocate back to her hometown in the North, closer to her own aged parents. Natsu grows up, Hinata makes new friends in his new school, and the North and its mountains become home as he remembers it.

Atsumu is twenty-eight when the rebel skirmishes on the borders of the kingdom seem to die down. Some of these rebels have been sent deliberately by their loving neighbors, while others have unfortunately ended there after going down wayward paths.

Kita is a good ruler. Much better than any of his ancestors could ever hope to be, but there is only so much he can do when other kingdoms do not want peace. Politics is the dirtiest game, one that both Kita and Tsukishima partake in daily, trying hard to come out holding their beacons of humanity intact.

Being a part of Consort Tsukishima’s personal Guard makes him privy to certain behind-the-scenes decisions. Of course, he’s had to practically sign his life away to ensure nothing leaks out, but both he and Hinata knew what they were getting into. In the few years that Atsumu has spent on the Consort’s guard, he has seen enough of their King and his Consort to come to certain mental conclusions.

Behind his steely gaze and curt words, Kita is kind. Kita is humane. Atsumu has never seen him raise his voice, even in the privacy of his office or room. He commands silent respect, quiet but sure in his decisions. He spends more time listening to his Council and his people than telling them what to do, and the only time Atsumu has seen him truly angry is when he and Tsukishima had visited a village thoroughly battered by floods and had seen that none of the royal relief that they had sent had reached. One of the old geezers carried forward from the previous king’s Council had pocketed all the redirected funds and had barely survived when faced with Kita’s cold wrath.

Tsukishima, on the other hand, is tactical. He is Kita’s strategic hand, objective and rational almost to a fault. He always has a mental list of pros and cons, and what Atsumu likes to imagine is a complicated mind map of numerous possibilities that could occur, their various consequences and endpoints etched within. Not even the most questioning people in their kingdom can deny the logical mind of Tsukishima Kei. Despite being a part of his personal Guard, Atsumu can count on one hand when he has seen the Consort wear his emotions on his sleeve.

(Except when he’s with Kita. Tsukishima and Kita are both to-the-point people, and sometimes they say the most disgustingly sappy things to each other like it’s nothing and Atsumu has to concentrate hard and remind himself of his military training to stop from hurling.

“You and Hinata are worse,” Suna whispers, once they’re out of ear-shot. “You’re like that all the fucking time.”

“Shut up,” Atsumu retorts. He really doesn’t want to think of Kita and Tsukishima like that ever again.)

Which is why it is with muted surprise that Atsumu finds himself accompanying Tsukishima to an orphanage alongside Aran and Suna. It’s not his job to ask questions, but maybe Atsumu isn’t as good yet at schooling his expressions as he thinks he is, because when they all pause in the doorway of the children’s classroom to take their shoes off, Tsukishima turns to him and says, “Surprised?”

Atsumu should be apologizing for being so blatant with his thoughts, but Tsukishima has always appreciated honesty.

“A bit, Your Grace,” he replies, and Tsukishima says nothing more as he steps inside. Atsumu shares a look with Suna and follows.

He spends all day nearly every day next to the Consort, but this is a side of Tsukishima he has never seen in all his time. The kids are all around him instantly, chanting Kei, Kei, Kei! and he bends, ruffling the hair of every short kid he can reach, nodding at the teacher whose class has been disrupted.

Tsukishima gets dragged to a corner by a dozen tiny insistent hands, and Atsumu is unsure if he is supposed to follow, but seeing Aran stay put near the door, he and Suna do the same. It takes a while before a couple of kids tire of Tsukishima, and approach the three intimidating men instead.

“His Grace has made it known that he would not like the children to fear royalty,” Aran says, squatting to let a curious girl run a palm over the black brooch of the crow holding his white coat together after she had asked very politely. “You can loosen up a bit. Don’t scare the kids.”

Atsumu assumes a pose which he hopes does not look as menacing, but also hopes that his face looks daunting enough that he isn’t approached by any tiny tots. Damn if he’s going to let any greasy hands mess up his carefully styled hair.

At some point, Suna has been pulled into a serious discussion about princess stories and a surprisingly logical explanation for why unicorns exist, and Atsumu only has an ear out, eavesdropping, until someone tugs at his robes. He peers down to see a tiny boy.

“Uncle, can I see your hand please?” he says, and wow, Atsumu hardly thinks he’s old enough to be called uncle like he’s thirty-five, but these kids are more polite than Atsumu and Osamu are even now, let alone as six-year-olds.

Atsumu opens his palm to show the kid. His hands have calluses for sure, an occupational hazard, but they’re clean and it can’t really hurt if a kid wants to high five him, can it?

The kid claps it with a squeal, yelling, “Tag, you’re it!” and scampers off.

It hurts. Not his hand, but his pride. Suna has gone red from trying not to laugh. Miya Atsumu, bested by a six-year-old. Classic.

They stay until the children start nodding off. Apparently, running indoors was not allowed even in the presence of royalty, so the kid from before gets shut down quickly by the teacher and instead, Atsumu spends the afternoon listening to the ridiculous stories the children cook up, adding some of his own absurd arguments.

There are a few tears when they leave, as Tsukishima explains softly that it’ll be some time before he can come to visit again, but he’ll try his best. There are hugs all around, a kids’ pile on top of the Consort, before they finally let him go. Tsukishima talks to the teacher and soon, they’re exiting to loud shouts of bye-bye and overenthusiastic hand waving.

“Shinsuke loves children,” Tsukishima says to Atsumu when they’re walking out of the gates onto the main market road, making their way to the stables where they’ve kept their horses, hoods of their coats on, partly for obscurity and mostly for protection against the high afternoon sun.

“I am largely neutral,” he continues. “Shinsuke absolutely adores them, but of course, we can’t have any. He can’t have any.”

Atsumu doesn’t know what to say. There have always been rumors milling around about Kita, but he’s never paid them much heed. What the Royal Family do is their business. It’s his business to protect them.

“So His Highness is looking to adopt?” he says, shouldering past a hooded man, making way for Tsukishima.

“Maybe, maybe not,” Tsukishima replies. “We’re still on the fence about it.”

“Well, the kids sure love you,” Atsumu says, pulling his hood down further. Summer has really hit them hard, and the heat is scorching, but that doesn’t seem to be deterring people, because the street near the stables is quite crowded.

“They’re all orphans of rebels,” Tsukishima says, although his eyes dart around to ensure no one but them can hear. “They had been forsaken entirely, even those who we knew had come from people our lovely neighbors had sent. Children left bereft because their dead parents’ kingdom would not accept them. When Shinsuke and I got word, we brought them all in. Most of the children don’t remember much, but there are older adolescents who do. We’ve assured them that they have the choice to do what they want to once they’re older and of age, that they’d get whatever support they need from the kingdom.”

That was why Tsukishima does not want them afraid of royalty, Atsumu muses. The children, both young and teens, had to learn to trust the kingdom, not to be scared of it.

“I’d thought you’d be more interested in the orphanage,” Tsukishima says, as they pause at the side of the street to let a line of handcarts pass. “Considering everything.”

Atsumu shrugs. “Osamu and I got adopted pretty early on. Never spent much time in there to remember much, to be honest.”

Tsukishima glances at him from the corner of his eye under his glasses. “I meant you and Hinata.”

Atsumu shrugs again. “It did come up, but we’re not children-people, really. Kids are all good and nice, but we don’t really want any of our own.”

It happens too quickly then. Atsumu vaguely registers that Tsukishima is saying something, but a glint between the handcarts catches his eye and before he knows it, he’s diving in front of the Consort.

They’d forgone full armor of course, but they’re all wearing metal under their robes. Some time while playing around at the orphanage though, Atsumu thinks his abdomen plate might have slid lower, because when something sharp brushes him, it slides in under his ribs without any obstruction. It stabs him once, twice, and a third time in a flurry before Aran steps in quickly and snaps the neck of the assailant.

Pain blooms when Atsumu clutches his middle. His robes are getting wetter steadily and his arms come away wet too, red gushing out. He stumbles, trying to stay standing, but it’s like his legs can’t find steady ground anymore. His ears are ringing now, and he can only see Aran mouthing some words before something presses firmly against his wounds.

Atsumu does not scream but it’s a near miss. He realizes Aran is holding a coat against his bleeding stomach, and grabs it to hold it there himself, sinking down on his haunches with a choked off groan. Suna is nowhere to be seen and Aran needs to be protecting His Grace.

It hurts, it fucking hurts.

No one around has noticed yet that there is a man bleeding out on the road. They had been hidden behind the large handcarts when Aran had killed the assassin on sight, and he’s standing in front of him now, covering Atsumu and the red that’s painting the coat. He could easily be mistaken for someone sick or drunk. It is for the best, though. There would be a huge hue and cry if people saw that it was the Consort’s party and the less attention they got right now, the better.

Tsukishima ducks to join Atsumu. “Stay awake, Miya,” he says, pressing the wet coat more firmly against Atsumu. He barely feels the sting it brings and realizes that his grip is getting slacker.

“M-my tags,” he manages to gasp. “G-give ‘em t-”

“Shut up and stay awake,” Tsukishima hisses, trying to tie the now drenched coat around Atsumu’s torso without jostling him. “Suna’s getting the horses, you’ll be fine.”

Atsumu doesn't think he’s going to be fine if he has to ride a fucking horse while he’s literally dying, but before he can voice his concerns, the world swims dangerously. The last thing he hears before he blacks out is a sharp Miya! and the familiar clip-clop of horses.

Hinata is nearly twenty-seven when he knows what it's like to almost lose your life.

There's nothing special about that day. He and Atsumu have the same shifts and leave the house together, early at dawn, when the sun is just on the cusp of rising.

The walk is familiar now. They take advantage of the empty yards, making the short trip from their house in the castle compound to the main house last longer, swinging their joined hands between them like they're smitten teenagers again.

Hinata is wide awake. They'd slept early, and he'd felt really refreshed after his daily morning meditation, but he knows that even after years to get used to the routine, Atsumu wakes up on time, but would take a few more hours of sleep if offered.

Hinata rambles on, about everything and nothing, feeling oddly excited about the smallest things. Today felt like a good day. Today felt like a great day.

The birds begin chirping their songs. It’s getting more and more humid day by day, the lingering cool of the spring giving way to the unforgivable heat of the summer.

They run into Iwaizumi on the way, who merely nods in greeting to Hinata's energetic good morning! and walks away briskly.

"He needs his morning tea," Atsumu whispers to Hinata, relishing in the chuckles that elicits, far too loud for the quiet morning.

"He's a grumpy pants like you in the morning," Hinata ribs back, and they banter back and forth until they reach their destination.

Pausing in the hallway that would lead to their separate ways, they cast furtive glances and steal more kisses. It isn’t that they are hiding, just that they want to avoid giving Suna more ammunition to tease them.

Which seems to be a futile exercise when Suna pops out of nowhere. "Gotcha again, lovebirds!"

"Maybe we put on a show for you," Hinata greets before Atsumu spins him around deliberately and draws him in again. This was why they report for their shifts earlier than needed.

"Mm, love ya," Atsumu mumbles against Hinata's lips, solidly ignoring the affronted noises Suna is making in the background.

"Gross," Hinata replies, wrinkling his nose and extricating himself begrudgingly from Atsumu's arms. He waves to Suna and starts walking down the hallway, a playful smirk on his lips.

“Shouyou!” Atsumu whines.

Hinata turns around, bounds back, and plants a last kiss right on Atsumu's pout. "Love you too, you baby," he says, jogging back down the hallway again. "I'll see you later!"

Three years of being a Royal Guard has taught Hinata to run, jump, crawl, and do gymnastics without rumpling his uniform, which is how he appears casual as ever when he steps into the room.

"Twenty more seconds and you would've been late!" Hirugami wails from his perch on the counter, pocketing his watch.

Iwaizumi snorts into his tea, draining the large mug. "Like Miya would ever let that happen," he says, shoving Hirugami not-quite-gently on his way to the small sink.

If there was anything anybody who had met Atsumu would think he’d be notorious for throughout the academy and among the Guards, it certainly wasn't punctuality. But for all the harmless mischief he'd made all his life, Atsumu is always on time, every time. He said it was something his mum had inculcated in him and Osamu, that having pinpoint structure had helped them settle in their home and school.

The day starts off slow and practically crawls on. It’s too hot. They do their rounds around Kita's quarters and then accompany him through his mind-numbingly boring Council meetings. He has meetings with some minor ministers too, and Hinata has started tuning them out, out of a serious fear of losing his brain cells. Lunch is uneventful too, and Hinata allows himself a bit of leeway, starting to look forward to dinner with Atsumu. It was Atsumu’s turn to cook, but maybe they could go to that one small eatery where they served that lip-smackingly good curry.

There’s no reason why the rest of the afternoon shouldn’t be slow as well. Kita is in his study, and Ushijima is guarding him like he always is when Kita has paperwork to catch up on. He’s the only one out of all of them that Kita says can sit still and quiet long enough for Kita to ignore his presence and be able to concentrate.

Hinata and Iwaizumi are standing guard outside the closed doors. Hirugami’s shift had ended at lunch and he’s probably napping already, Hinata thinks, when he sees Aran walking through the courtyard.

That’s not new. Aran, as the head of the Tsukishima’s Guard, often has to coordinate with Iwaizumi, the head of Kita’s. Sometimes they have to figure out the logistics of joint security, and no time is better than when Kita has a two-foot-tall pile of papers to get through.

Except, Aran is not wearing his uniform, Hinata realizes. And there are patches of large spots on his dark robes.

Aran is not quite running, but he’s walking fast enough. Hinata holds his position as he reaches them and whispers something quickly to Iwaizumi, who glances at Hinata and then immediately knocks on the door in a staccato of six beats, two followed by four rapidly.

It’s urgent. Life-threateningly urgent. Iwaizumi gestures to Hinata to come along when he opens the door without waiting for a response.

Kita’s eyes are sharp and on Aran who bows quickly and says, “There was an attack on His Grace.”

Hinata freezes. Attacks on the Royal Family are always to kill. Assassination attempts had not been uncommon during the previous king’s rule, who had, ironically, been murdered in his sleep, but things have largely been peaceful enough in their kingdom for a few years now to not warrant any such drastic events.

“Take us,” Kita is instantly on his feet, Ushijima behind him, and they spare no time in following Aran out the door, across the courtyard, and into the underground passageway that leads directly to Tsukishima’s quarters.

Hinata takes a deep breath. He doesn’t know what happened, doesn’t know how it happened, but surely Aran would give it straight to His Highness if anything had happened to his Consort. The Royal Guard was in charge of protecting the Royal Family, all of them together, and any failure on their part had grave consequences. A slight on any of them was a slight on them all. That was the way of the Guard.

But conjectures had no place in his mind right now. It was the present, present, present. Hinata had trained for this. Now was the time to remain alert, no more and no less than they usually are. They would know exactly what had happened in a few minutes, in a safe place away from prying eyes and ears. They’d decide their next course of action based on the information they got.

Aran knocks on Tsukishima’s office door to announce the King's arrival.

Tsukishima is standing at his study table, Hinata notes with relief as they slip inside, and it doesn't look like he's hurt, if he’s here and not in the medical bay.

The metal shutters of the large windows are down, permitting only some light through narrow slits in it. It is bright enough though, for Hinata to see Suna standing right beside Tsukishima, and Aran, as he takes his place on the other side.

Atsumu is nowhere to be seen.

Hinata curls his fists and lets his nails dig into his palms, trying to ground himself. It doesn't mean anything, he reminds himself. Focus on the now. Kita and Tsukishima were safe, Suna and Aran seemed to be alright as well, it was ok. He takes another breath.

Kita has crossed the room quickly to take Tsukishima's hands in his, softly saying, "Explain," eyes still sharp as he takes in the various states of disarray the Consort and his guards are in.

As succinctly as he can without leaving out any details, Tsukishima explains what had happened as they'd left the orphanage. By the time he finishes, Hinata feels numb. He digs his nails in harder, trying to center himself.

Suna had been drenched in Atsumu's blood, trying to staunch the bleeding and keep him well-situated on the horse while riding it as fast as he could at the same time. It showed on his robes. Hinata tries not to look at him.

"Hinata," Tsukishima calls.

Hinata steels himself, marches in front of Tsukishima, and bows low, fists still clenched tightly against the seams at the side holding his uniform together.

"Your Grace," he says, staring at his own feet to hide his face. He isn’t sure how much of his inner turmoil is showing, but inwardly his brain is just a never-ending chant of don't give me his tags, don't tell me he's gone, please don't give me his tags, you'll have to pry my fucking hands open if you're going to--

A distant part of his mind wonders if this is what his mother had felt all those years ago when Uncle had paid them a visit.

"He's in the medical bay, Sugawara has him," Tsukishima tells him, but Hinata still holds his bow. "Rise. The idiot spent his last second coherent trying to tell me to give you his tags, but I told him I'd strangle him with them myself if he didn't shut up."

Hinata rises, still staring at the floor. He doesn't know what to say. The terror that had been running through his veins has turned to ice. His legs feel too weak to hold him up. A part of him wants to dance in relief, a part of him wants to collapse, cry, and an absurd part of him wants to give Tsukishima a hug for helping Atsumu.

Atsumu’s alive.

It is the largest part of him, the one that's duty-bound, that makes him reply, "Thank you, Your Grace."

"Go," Kita says, and Hinata's head snaps up. Kita's brown eyes are staring into his soul. "You’re on leave until Iwaizumi tells you to return."

Hinata does not have to be told twice. He bows one last time in farewell and in gratitude and bolts from the room. He doesn't remember how he makes it to the medical bay, sprinting as fast as he can, and almost tears his hair out in frustration when he is told that he'd have to wait, that Atsumu was still being treated, that Sugawara would come and get him when he was done.

Hinata is alone, waiting. No one else has boyfriends stupid enough and brave enough to take knife stabs to their abdomen to save their liege.

Hinata is worried, but he is so so proud. Atsumu was brave, Atsumu was true to his oath, Atsumu did not fail the Guard, Atsumu wanted Hinata to have his tags--

The tags of a Royal Guard always went to their family in death. It was tradition that no matter how far the people that the officer had considered to be family were, members of the Guard closest to the deceased made the trip to personally hand over their tags and their personal memorabilia. It was important, a gesture of closure for the members of the Guard, a point of pride that they'd been able to work together, an appreciation for their duty and commitment to the kingdom.

Atsumu had family not too far from the Capital, and Osamu worked in the South, but he'd wanted Hinata to have his tags.

They've been together for many years, and Hinata knows that he feels the same for Atsumu, but the reminder this time that Atsumu considers him family is bittersweet.

How brave his mother had been, Hinata thinks, to have faced what he almost did today all alone.

He sits in the chair, waiting, for a long time, staring off into space. The sun sets, cloaking the room in darkness before someone puts the lamps on. The day was hot, but the night is unforgivingly cold.

When Sugawara finally appears, he looks exhausted, but he smiles at Hinata in reassurance.

"We're keeping a close eye on him for the next two days," he begins, "but he'll be fine."

All the air seems to exit Hinata in a whoosh. "Thank you," he manages to say.

Sugawara takes a seat beside Hinata. "I have to tell you though," he sighs, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "Things looked really bad for a moment."

Sugawara is their senior from the academy, and had specialized in medical services specifically for the Royal Guard, a niche specialization not many were equipped to handle. If there's anyone Hinata would trust with Atsumu's life, it would be Sugawara.

"I can't let you in his room right now, but you can peep in through the window," Sugawara continues. "Recovery is the hardest thing for him now. We can't let him get any infections with how weak he is with blood loss."

Hinata nods, following Sugawara through the maze of corridors before he opens two doors and stops before a third. There's a window a few paces away, curtains open.

Hinata has never seen Atsumu look this frail. He looks pale, paler than he did that one time in the academy when he'd eaten something bad and had fallen sick, spending two days on the toilet, unable to keep anything in, not even water. It had taken him a few days to recover then, but Hinata knows this time it'll take several weeks, maybe even months.

There's a nurse inside placing a cloth on Atsumu’s forehead. A sweaty sheen covers him. The blanket has been pulled to his shoulders, and Hinata can’t see his bandages. Atsumu doesn’t look like he’s about to wake up any time soon.

“He’ll be out for some time,” Sugawara explains. “Even if he does wake up in a couple of days, he might not be very coherent. We’ve stitched him up, but I’ll be around every two hours to check up on him.”

“There’s a small room right beside this one,” he turns to Hinata. “It has a spare futon. You can stay there for tonight, and if he’s better tomorrow, you can meet him.”

Hinata might cry if Sugawara says more. All he can do is thank Sugawara profusely, but he just pats Hinata’s shoulder and leaves.

Hinata is in a daze as he steps into the small room. It’s completely bare, apart from the futon unrolled in the corner. He shrugs out of his jacket, dropping it on the window sill, and sinks down on the futon.

Atsumu had almost died. Today could have turned out to be quite different.

Hinata rubs his hands down his face. He feels exhausted.

It’s not that Hinata and Atsumu had never discussed this. Considering their lives, they had to. They knew what they were getting into. They cannot be afraid of losing their lives in their line of work, and it’s part of their training that they’re fully aware of the possibilities. Of the fact that duty would always come first, and they’d always come second for each other.

Hinata has never been scared of laying down his own life, but today showed him that he is absolutely terrified if Atsumu had to lay down his. He’s never felt like this. No amount of training could have ever prepared him.

There’s a knock on the door, and Hinata opens it, body still on autopilot.

It’s Suna, in clean robes now. He must have finished his shift.

“I brought you clothes,” he says, gesturing to the pile of fabric tucked under his arm, “and some food,” gesturing to the tray in his hands holding two covered bowls.

Hinata lets him in. Ideally, he’d have liked a bath to wash the day off, but clean robes are a start. Even if they’re too big and he’s drowning in them.

He has no appetite, and Suna doesn’t seem to have one either, but they force themselves to swallow. Hinata barely pays any attention to what he’s eating.

“It happened so quickly,” Suna says, setting his bowl down. “He was really brave.”

“He was,” Hinata replies. “He’s always had good reflexes.”

As hard as it is for Hinata, it can’t have been any easier for Suna either. Hinata had only seen Atsumu after he’d been fixed up. Suna had been there. He and Atsumu were friends, good friends, brothers almost, and Hinata can't imagine how hard it must have been for him.

Hinata seems to be able to do nothing but thank people tonight. Thank them for saving Atsumu, for saving his life. Suna only gives him a tight smile, leaving with the tray and a promise to return tomorrow.

Hinata hears movement in the adjacent room and peeks out. Sugawara is back, with another reassuring smile as he notices Hinata. The curtains to the window have been drawn shut, and Hinata leaves him to it. He knows where to get Hinata if they need him.

He lies down on the futon. He’s sure the crash from all the adrenaline is going to hit him hard, but he can’t seem to fall asleep, dozing in and out, getting up and peeking out every two hours when Sugawara comes to check on Atsumu. He tries telling Hinata to get some sleep but Hinata just shrugs. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Sugawara, it’s just that it’s hard to believe that Atsumu will be fine when he’s lying all still and unmoving.

It isn’t until the next evening that Sugawara finally proclaims Atsumu out of danger, and Hinata is allowed to see him. He naps for a few hours in the morning and goes home in the afternoon to have a bath and wear clothes that actually fit him only because Sugawara threatens to withdraw his visiting rights. Hinata is handed a mask which he puts on quickly before Sugawara finally lets him inside.

Hinata doesn’t know if Atsumu looks less pale today or if it’s just wishful thinking, but Sugawara reports that he’s doing much better than they’d expected. He’s allowed only to hold Atsumu’s hand, and can only stay for a few minutes today, but can stay for longer and can visit more frequently if Atsumu keeps getting better. Hinata will take anything he’s given.

Atsumu’s hand is warmer than he expects it to be. It warms his heart. He’s alone in their bed when he goes back home, but he sleeps better that night.

Four days later, Hinata is given the all-clear to stay in Atsumu’s room all day, provided he leaves on time to take his meals. He can’t take care of Atsumu if he doesn’t take care of himself, Sugawara tells him, and Hinata has no choice but to listen. He can only stay until the evening, and leaves just before sunset every day, with a gentle squeeze to Atsumu’s hand, often having to be shooed out by Sugawara or one of the nurses.

Atsumu wakes up a few times in those days, but doesn’t stay coherent or awake for long. Hinata misses the first time it happens, late at night when the nurse is doing rounds, but is there for the second. Atsumu only opens his eyes, blinks, looks around, looks at Hinata, and goes back to sleep. Hinata immediately calls for Sugawara, worried, but Sugawara reassures him that it might happen a few more times before Atsumu’s body decides it’s rested enough for him to wake up for real. The medicine they were giving him previously kept him under, and they’ve weaned him off it, but the other medicines he is administered might also make him groggy. Atsumu has started squeezing Hinata’s hand back though, even in sleep, and Hinata almost cries.

All of Kita’s and Tsukishima’s personal Guard come to visit at least once. They’re all working more, picking up more time to make up for Atsumu and Hinata’s absence. Suna comes by twice every day, at the beginning of his shift and at the end. Hinata suspects he also sneaks in when his shifts run into the night and end late, when visiting hours are up already.

Then finally, close to a week after the incident, Atsumu wakes up. He croaks a weak Shouyou, barely managing to get it out before Hinata shushes him and calls for Sugawara and the nurse. Atsumu sounds better after a drink of water, and is able to answer the questions Sugawara asks. He stays awake for two whole hours before conking back out, but starts waking up at regular meal times.

He’s fine, Sugawara says, and this time, Hinata feels a rock lift off his chest.

Hinata is twenty-seven when Atsumu proposes again, except, not in so many words this time.

Atsumu has finally healed enough that he can walk around without any pain. Recovery from a near-death experience is, as he says, slow as fuck and a pain in his ass and under his ribs, but after an excruciatingly long month in which his stitches had come out, the wounds have healed well, leaving behind three crisscrossing scars which only hurt if he stretches at really odd angles.

True to character, Atsumu has been getting restless, having to stay at home all the time. If there’s one thing he has learned in his two-week stint in the medical bay, it is not to mess with Sugawara and so, he listened dutifully when Sugawara had sent him home under strict instructions on how they’re supposed to take care of Atsumu’s wounds, how he’s not supposed to strain himself in any way and preferably stay in bed as much as possible until he got better, probably forgetting that they’ve all taken the same mandatory medical training at the military academy.

Now though, Atsumu goes out to the market every day out of sheer want for something to do, but he's still advised not to carry heavy things, so Hinata makes him a list and tells him one item to buy every day. Atsumu lasts a week before giving up because all the traders at the market gave him strange looks when all he bought was one medium-sized eggplant.

Atsumu has also finally healed enough that Hinata gets his bed back and can stop sleeping on the spare futon. At the time when Atsumu had barely been able to lift an arm without the sting of pain, Hinata had lined up their bed with more pillows placed strategically so that Atsumu could lay comfortably, and had kicked himself out of their bed. Atsumu had tried to protest, but hadn’t pushed much, because they both knew that Hinata was a really active sleeper and even if being stabbed had not killed him, being kneed in the torso with the condition he had been in certainly would.

Even now, they still start off lying on opposite ends, but no matter how much Hinata tries to school his body into obeying, morning finds his limbs splayed out all over Atsumu’s. Hinata worries about accidentally kicking Atsumu and aggravating his wounds despite Sugawara’s repeated reassurances that all that had to heal had healed already, and only his muscles needed to relearn how to function properly.

Atsumu finds it romantic, but he’s always been weird, Hinata thinks.

This also means that Hinata becomes Atsumu’s prime source of entertainment. Atsumu has never really been an avid reader, but he’s already read through all the books about the Royal Guard that Hinata had been graciously allowed to borrow from the castle library, a couple even coming from Kita’s personal collection.

Atsumu demands to know every stupid detail of Hinata’s day, and Suna’s, when he comes to visit. Of course, there are things that can’t leave the walls of the castle, but Hinata enjoys telling him about the stray cat the cook seems to have adopted, and the way Iwaizumi had made Hirugami walk into the wall the other day, and how, apparently, Ushijima had taken up knitting for relieving stress.

Hinata feels mostly alright now. He had asked Iwaizumi to join back after the third week, when Atsumu had insisted that he could walk around the house on his own. Atsumu has several evaluations to go through in the next few days, and if all goes well, he is supposed to join back for duty next week. Hinata knows that Atsumu is itching to go back, and can’t stop the small ball of worry from rolling in his stomach, but he’s learning to live with it.

Atsumu’s parents and Osamu had been informed as soon as Hinata had had enough energy to shoot them quick letters, and Hinata had been sending updates every two days. Atsumu’s old parents hardly ever left the town, and despite the Capital being a mere couple of hours away, they hadn’t been able to make the trip, especially with Atsumu’s father still a bit sick with a cold. Not for the first time, Atsumu had wondered if they should hire a caretaker for his parents, but they were stubborn and insisted that they still didn't need any. Osamu hadn’t been able to get away from work, but they all sent frequent letters and parcels.

Hinata’s mother had made the long trip from the North to the Capital. She had scheduled her visit to reach in time for Hinata’s birthday, which had come and passed with little celebration. Hinata had almost asked her to cancel, but she had insisted on coming down anyway to help them.

Hinata had been grateful.

Every change of Atsumu’s bandages had revealed his wounds, a constant reminder of how close Atsumu had come to dying, how an inch or two here or there had meant the difference between life and possible death. They hadn’t even been able to hug properly, until Atsumu had been able to sit up in bed on his own, and Hinata had taken to hugging him from the back then, Atsumu’s hands on top of his as he’d carefully wrapped them around his chest.

There had been so many things he had felt, so much that he wanted to say, but couldn’t find the words to describe the waging war inside of him, and he often just ended up pressing his lips gently to Atsumu’s, hoping it would convey everything. They both knew Atsumu wouldn't apologize for doing what he’d done, that he shouldn’t, because if their roles had been reversed, Hinata would have done the same. The risk and the fear of losing one another was something that they had to accept, and it would take some time, and they’d get there, but Hinata would probably have gone crazy were it not for the comfort his mother had offered.

It had been a whispered conversation one night, when he’d curled up on the futon with his head under his mother’s chin, like he was seven again and his mother had needed consolation, that he’d asked her how she had ever let him become a Royal Guard after what had happened to his father.

Except this time it was Hinata looking for comfort, and his mother had run her hand through his hair, telling him how proud she was of both him and Atsumu and how his father would be too, even if he wouldn’t have followed his footsteps. How Hinata knew what it took to be a Royal Guard, first-hand, and much better than she had.

Fear is strange, she had said, it won’t make you stronger, it’ll always be there, but trust me that you’ll get used to living with it.

And Hinata had cried for the first time since Atsumu had gotten hurt, unable to swallow his tears anymore. With everyone else, he was Hinata Shouyou, part of the King’s personal Guard, and it had seemed extremely selfish to cry for himself with Atsumu when he had been the one to almost die, but here, with his mother, he could let himself be as scared as he truly felt.

Hinata’s mother had returned back home to the North after staying a week.

The worry hadn’t died, but with every bit of recovery Atsumu made, Hinata felt better too.

As if he’s read Hinata's mind, Atsumu scoots closer where they’re lying on the bed, and places his head on Hinata’s chest. Hinata brings his hand to brush through Atsumu’s hair almost on instinct as he talks about the letter Atsumu’s parents had sent.

It is during a lull in their conversation that Hinata says, "I hadn't realized how much I missed mum until I saw her."

Atsumu hums in response, draping an arm around Hinata.

"Sometimes I really miss the North," he continues. “It's still so icky here."

Atsumu laughs. This isn't the first time Hinata has complained about the Capital. Compared to the beautiful North, the Capital was a glorified trash heap, as far as Hinata was concerned. There had been a time right after graduation, when they’d just moved to the bustling city and begun training with the personal Guard, that Hinata had been really homesick. Despite his exhaustion every night, he’d lie in bed beside his boyfriend and miss the North. He’d miss the mountains, the air, the unpredictable weather with random bursts of rain.

Hinata had been born in the Capital, had spent seven years of his life here, and had literally trained for five years to become adaptable to any and every situation, but the Capital was unforgiving in a way that had made Hinata really uncomfortable. It was louder than what he was used to in the North, dirtier, and more crowded. Home had been where Atsumu was, but it had taken him a long time to make their house in the castle compound his home.

"We can go someday, y’know," Atsumu says, craning his neck, stretching gingerly to stare into Hinata's reminiscing eyes.

"Like after retiring?" Hinata muses, brushing Atsumu’s bangs away from his forehead.

"Yeah. A house in the North," Atsumu suggests. "A farm, maybe. A mountain goat or two to keep ya on your feet. You can take them grazing on the slopes with yer creaky knees, mountain man," he teases, delighted to hear peals of Hinata's laughter.

"My creaky knees? What about your receding hairline, you think you'll have any hair left by that time?" Hinata pokes back.

"Hey, my luscious locks are off-limits!"

Hinata thinks he can imagine it vividly. Him and Atsumu, in a more traditional house, with a farm big enough, but not too large that they couldn’t manage between the two of them. Some chickens in a coop beside the shed. Hinata isn’t too sure about goats, and even less about how reliable his knees would be at that age, but wouldn't mind a couple. The snow-capped mountains Hinata loves so much would be a constant backdrop. Maybe they would see the sun set over them every day. And the moon rise.

It was another forever.

Hinata smiles and shuffles lower to kiss Atsumu softly once, twice, and thrice, and doesn't let go, because Atsumu winds a hand behind his neck to draw him even closer.

"A dog too maybe," Atsumu mutters against his lips, his forehead resting against Hinata's.

"Eight," Hinata replies firmly. "I'm not taking any less than at least eight dogs."

Atsumu smiles, brushing his thumb across Hinata’s cheek. "We’ll get a dozen if it makes ya happy."

"You make me happy," Hinata replies, almost struck dumb by how large his chest feels when Atsumu looks at him like that.

And once again, Hinata wonders what kingdom he has saved in the past for life to have led him here, in this very moment, with this absolutely beautiful man he wants to have and hold forever. He goes to kiss Atsumu again, but Atsumu rolls away in a second, ignoring Hinata's sound of surprise, and starts rummaging in his drawer.

Hinata watches with wide eyes as Atsumu comes back with two rings. He jams one onto his own finger. Takes Hinata’s hand, pulls him upright on the bed, and puts the other on Hinata’s fourth finger.

"You have me, always," Atsumu says.

It shouldn’t feel romantic, but it’s Atsumu, and him, it’s them, and Hinata feels like he could fly when he looks at their joined hands.

The bands are simple, a bit geometric in shape, but plain metal with no embellishments. They'll have to take them off and put them on the tags around their necks anyways.

They’re beautiful. Hinata loves them. He loves Atsumu.

"And you have me," he replies, and Atsumu is leaning forward, smiling, clearly expecting another kiss, but Hinata jumps on him and tosses him on the bed, digging his fingers gently into Atsumu’s sides, tickling him between kissing every part of him he can reach, yelling intermittently about how he was supposed to ask idiot, not tell to which Atsumu replies through barks of laughter that he already had, and Hinata had already said yes, but he’d do the whole showy proposal thing only if they could do it in front of Suna, just to irritate him even more.

And Hinata laughs, pulling Atsumu closer. Everything is perfect.