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Dick’s first heart break came at the tender age of ten, a year after Bruce had taken him in.
On the days that Bruce was at the manor, he would work in the living room, waiting for Dick to come home from school. Dick would sprint into the house and ambush Bruce with a big hug. Alfred would bring out an afternoon snack, and Dick would chatter about his day, what he’d learned, his teachers, his friends, and anything that crossed his mind.
Before Dick came into his life, Bruce always thought that parents merely humored their talkative children, but Bruce genuinely looked forward to those afternoons. Dick had a unique outlook on life and a positive energy that Bruce couldn’t stay away from.
So, when Dick broke from their routine, Bruce wasn’t sure how to proceed. He heard the front door open, as usual, but instead of Dick immediately running into the living room, Bruce heard a scampering of feet on the stairs and then the distant slam of a door.
“Alfred?” Bruce called, setting aside his laptop and getting up.
Alfred was in the kitchen, taking out milk and chocolate from the fridge. “Master Dick is feeling upset,” Alfred said. “I thought I would prepare him a cup of hot chocolate to calm him.”
“Do you know why he’s upset?” Bruce said.
“Unfortunately, he would not divulge that information to me,” Alfred said.
“I thought we’d taken care of the bullying problem. And Dick said that he liked his new teacher, so that can’t be it. And-”
“Master Bruce,” Alfred said. “Perhaps you should ask him yourself.”
“Yes,” Bruce said. He was the world’s greatest detective. He could determine what was upsetting his son – and then fix it. “I should.”
The walk up the stairs and to Dick’s room did not allow enough time for Bruce to prepare himself. He didn’t know how to soothe an upset child, especially with no context. This wasn’t the first time he’d comforted Dick, of course – the boy was ten and still recovering from his parents’ murder; it came with the territory. But Bruce still wasn’t used to it. He generally blundered around until Dick stopped crying. Hugs usually helped, but Bruce was as bad at physical comfort as he was at words.
He knocked on Dick’s closed door. “Dick? It’s me. May I come in?”
He heard a sniffle and then something that sounded like assent. Good enough. He opened the door. Dick was in his bed with the blankets covering him up to his head. His whole body was trembling quietly.
Bruce took a deep breath. First strategy – physical comfort. He sat on the edge of the bed and placed a hand gently on Dick’s back. “What’s wrong, chum?” he asked, hoping his panic couldn’t be heard in his voice.
Dick sniffled and poked his head out from under the blankets, revealing eyes red and puffy from crying. “Kylie broke up with me.”
Bruce tensed. “You’re ten. You don’t date yet.”
Dick wasn’t supposed to start dating for years. At least until he was sixteen. Maybe eighteen. Hopefully thirty. Bruce wasn’t ready to give him the talk or worry about teen pregnancy and STDs or give him dating advice. Bruce’s romantic knowledge came from being Brucie the playboy and from Batman’s less than ideal romantic partners.
Dick rolled his eyes. His exasperation temporarily overrode his misery. “We weren’t dating. She was just my girlfriend.”
Bruce didn’t even try to make sense of that. “You’re also too young to have a girlfriend,” he said, which was probably the wrong thing to say. He should be comforting, not domineering.
“I’m not a baby,” Dick protested.
“Of course not,” Bruce agreed, because even though Dick was a small child that absolutely needed Bruce’s protection and care, he knew better than to tell Dick that. “Why did she break up with you?”
Dick’s eyes welled with tears. “She-she said I was too short and ugly and-and boring.” He finished with a wail and launched himself into Bruce’s arms.
As Bruce rubbed Dick’s back soothingly, Bruce had to remind himself that this Kylie was a child, and therefore it would be wrong for Batman to pay her a visit. “There’s nothing wrong with being short or tall or anywhere in between,” Bruce said firmly. “And you’re not ugly or boring.”
“But-but she said-” Dick started to say.
“But nothing,” Bruce said. “She was wrong. It’s her loss if she can’t see how incredible you are.”
“You-you th-think I’m incredible?” Dick said, peering up at Bruce.
Bruce tried not to grimace. Talking about feelings made him feel ill, but he persevered for Dick’s sake. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he said sincerely. The words were honest but so hard to say aloud.
Fortunately, Alfred chose that moment to come in, carrying a tray of hot chocolate. He must’ve been waiting at the door. His timing was too perfect.
“I thought some hot chocolate might make you feel better, Master Dick,” Alfred said.
“Thanks, Alfred,” Dick said, accepting a mug. “You’re the best.”
“What am I then?” Bruce said dramatically. “I clothe, feed, and shelter you.”
“I believe I do most of the clothing and feeding, Master Bruce,” Alfred said dryly.
Dick giggled as Bruce gasped in outrage. “You’re second best,” Dick said cheerfully.
“Second?” Bruce said. “I run Wayne Enterprises by day and defend Gotham by night.”
“Third, then,” Dick said, still laughing. “’Cause Mr. Lucius runs everything and gives you all your Batman stuff.”
Bruce ruffled Dick’s hair. “You’re an ungrateful brat,” he said fondly.
Dick beamed up at him, and Bruce was glad to see Dick’s tears gone.
Alfred handed Bruce a cup. “Bring the mugs down when you’re finished,” Alfred said and left the room.
Dick blew on his drink before taking a big sip. “I love Alfie’s hot chocolate,” he said, a little dreamily. “I’ll bet Kylie never gets to drink cocoa this good.”
“I bet,” Bruce said. He carded a hand through Dick’s hair. “Feeling better, chum?”
Dick nodded. “Yeah. Thanks for cheering me up, B. I was joking when I said you’re third best. You’re tied with Alfred for first.”
“I’ll always be there for you,” Bruce promised. “But maybe wait a few years before getting into girls? Just for my sanity.”
Dick made a face. “Girls are so not worth it.”
“Definitely,” Bruce said and hoped that Dick would never change his mind.
+++
Bruce should’ve specified to stay away from boys as well. A few weeks later, Dick wouldn’t stop talking about a boy in his class. Trevor was apparently nice and funny and could draw really, really well. After the incident with Kylie, Bruce hated Trevor. The snotty, rich kid was going to break his little boy’s heart.
Alfred raised his eyebrow when Bruce relayed his thoughts to him. “I must have misheard you, Master Bruce,” Alfred said. “Did you say that you are judging this boy based on his parents’ wealth?”
“Grandparents’ wealth. His parents are terrible at business,” Bruce said and then realized the hypocrisy in the rich kid argument. “He also has a mean look in his eyes. I remember him from Dick’s holiday concert. He’s a terrible match for Dick.”
“Master Dick is ten,” Alfred said.
“Exactly!” Bruce said. “He shouldn’t be thinking about romance yet!”
“It is perfectly natural for a boy of Dick’s age to experience puppy love,” Alfred said. “However, since Master Dick is ten, I doubt any of his current inamoratos will last to his adult years.”
“But he’s going to get hurt again,” Bruce said. “This Trevor will stomp all over his heart.”
“And we’ll be there to pick up the pieces. Experiencing heartbreak is part of a healthy development,” Alfred said.
+++
Bruce knew that Alfred was right. Alfred was always right, no matter how annoying Bruce found it.
Trevor did break Dick’s heart, and so did Mathew, and then Zara, and then Miguel, and so on. Bruce remembered every single one of their names as Dick cried on his shoulder after each heart break. Bruce could beat up the Joker for hurting Dick, but he couldn’t protect his son from this kind of hurt.
When Dick was fifteen, the pattern of heartbreak and crushes and tears abruptly ended. Bruce was afraid of a secret relationship. Dick always struggled keeping things from him – was this a sign that Dick could now successfully lie to him? And wanted to lie?
He broached the topic over an afternoon snack. They still had their after-school ritual, but Dick was now too large to jump in Bruce’s arms, and he babbled less. Bruce compensated by sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with Dick and asking more questions to get Dick talking.
“I’ve noticed that you’ve been…showing less romantic interest lately,” Bruce said cautiously.
Dick shrugged. “I guess I’m pickier now.”
“Pickier?” Bruce prompted.
“Yeah,” Dick said without elaborating. “Why’re you asking?”
“You’ve been spending a lot of time with the Teen Titans,” Bruce said. “Perhaps one of them has…caught your attention.”
“I’m not hiding an SO behind your back, B,” Dick said, clearly amused. “Especially not a Titan. They’re my teammates. I don’t want to deal with all that drama.”
“Oh. Good.”
Dick munched on a few crackers as they lapsed into silence. Usually Bruce would try to get Dick talking to fill the odd quiet, but he wasn’t sure how without blatantly changing the subject. He didn’t want Dick to think Bruce didn’t want to talk about relationships. Bruce didn’t, of course, but Dick didn’t need to know that.
Finally, Dick said, “I, uh – actually there was this girl. Amira. Remember her?”
Bruce nodded. He never forgot one of Dick’s friends. Talkative, tolerable parents, civilian, well-mannered, captain of the basketball team.
“She wanted to do some, uh, stuff that I didn’t want to do,” Dick said.
“Did she try to pressure you into illegal activities?” Bruce said, immediately on edge. “I know that kids your age have started drinking, and I-”
Dick made a face. “Oh my god, B. Illegal activities? We aren’t in a court room. And I know better than to do drugs or alcohol. You’ve given me that talk. Alfred’s given me that talk. Commissioner Gordon’s given me that talk. I’m talking about sex. She wanted to have sex. Or at least, y’know, groping stuff.”
“You’re too young to have sex,” Bruce said automatically.
“I’m fifteen, and she’s sixteen,” Dick said. “This is when it all starts.”
Bruce wondered if he could bundle Dick away and never let him leave the manor. It was bad enough that Dick would be going to college in three short years. Bruce didn’t want to think about his little boy doing such grown up activities.
He schooled his face to remain neutral and calmly said, “You know that you can come to me about anything.”
“Yeah, I know,” Dick said. “I just thought you wouldn’t like to hear about a girl asking if she could suck me off.”
Bruce couldn’t control the way his eye twitched. Dick snickered.
“So I went to Wally instead,” Dick continued. “He hasn’t had, like, sex sex, but he’s gone farther than kissing, and we’ve definitely talked about weirder stuff, and he knows a lot about sexuality stuff, from when he was figuring out if he was bi. So, we talked it out, and it turns out I’m probably ace.”
“Ace?” Bruce repeated, trying to ignore the unnecessary detail about Kid Flash’s personal life.
“Asexual,” Dick said. “It means I don’t experience sexual attraction. Or at least I haven’t yet. Most people my age have already, so I’m probably in the ace boat.”
Dick was coming out to him, Bruce realized. Dick didn’t look nervous as he reached for another cracker. Dick was casually trusting Bruce, like he had five years ago after he said that he like-liked Trevor. At ten, Dick hadn’t known yet that many parents reacted poorly to children who weren’t cisgender and heterosexual. After Wally’s disastrous coming out experience, Dick definitely knew now. And he still trusted Bruce.
Bruce wasn’t sure what he’d done to earn such trust, but he would do everything in his power to keep it.
“Anyway,” Dick said, “I think I’m a sex-repulsed ace, which means I don’t feel sexual attraction, and I find sex gross. That could change, since I’m only fifteen, and there’s definitely aces out there who like or tolerate sex, but I have to work with the knowledge that I’ve got, y’know? So now I’m pickier on who I’m into, ‘cause I need someone who is chill with the whole no sex thing.”
Bruce would need to do more research on asexuality, a term he’d only heard in passing and usually regarding plants. “Thank you for telling me,” he said.
“I didn’t mean to, like, hide it,” Dick said. “It’s just weird, talking to you about relationships and sex stuff. It feels one-sided. You never tell me who you’re dating.”
“I don’t date,” Bruce said.
“You hook up, though,” Dick said. “I’ve read a newspaper.”
“Have you?”
“Online,” Dick said with a shrug. “Same thing.”
“Uh-huh. Don’t believe everything you read,” Bruce said. “Sometimes I do have…dalliances, but I would never enter into a romantic relationship without your knowledge and approval.”
“Do I need your knowledge and approval to date people then?” Dick said. “Because I think you’ve hated everyone I’ve ever dated.”
“I do not,” Bruce lied.
Dick rolled his eyes. “Yeah, right. I know your tells, B. You glared at Dahlia like she was the Riddler. She even noticed the hostility.”
“Dahlia made you cry a few days after I met her,” Bruce said. “I had a bad feeling.”
“All my crushes make me cry. I’m very self-aware,” Dick said. “Wally says I get too invested too fast, but it’s not fun without going all in, y’know? Oh, wait – is that why you’re scaring my dates? Aw, you really do care.”
As Dick beamed at him, Bruce couldn’t feel too disgruntled at being called out.
+++
Years passed, and Dick didn’t tell Bruce about any new love interests. For two terrible years, Dick didn’t tell Bruce anything. But eventually, they repaired their relationship. Based on the many jokes that other heroes would casually and insensitively throw Dick’s way, the rumor mill believed that Dick was very romantically – and sexually – active, but Dick remained single.
Until one day, Dick invited Bruce over for breakfast at his place. Bruce was immediately suspicious, because, one, Dick couldn’t cook to save his life, and, two, they never met in Bludhaven for personal matters.
“Is something wrong?” Bruce asked when Dick opened the door to his apartment.
“Hello to you too,” Dick said.
Dick’s amused smile relieved some of Bruce’s tension. As Dick led him inside the apartment, Bruce immediately realized what Dick wanted to talk about. Weapons that did not belong to Dick hung on the walls. The apartment was tidier than Dick usually kept it. A hairbrush was on the TV stand.
“Starfire?” Bruce said.
“Yep,” Dick said.
In the small dining room, Dick had already set out the plated food and utensils. As they sat down, Bruce’s mind whirled. Dick and Starfire had always been close, but Dick had assured him many times that they were just friends.
“How long?” Bruce said.
“We’ve been dating for about two months,” Dick said. “She moved in a week ago.”
“Hm.”
Starfire – Kori, as Bruce would be expected to call her – was a powerful alien warrior. Bruce had seen her beat Dick in direct hand-to-hand combat. As soon as she’d fallen to Earth, Bruce had devised back up strategies in case she became hostile. Dick’s close friendship with her had…complicated his plans.
Dick sighed. “Tell me you’re not thinking about ways to kill her.”
“I don’t kill,” Bruce said.
“You don’t kill humans,” Dick said. “You have at least ten contingency plans if Clark goes rogue, and he’s your best friend.”
“Aliens are dangerous,” Bruce said.
“So are humans,” Dick said.
“What’s changed?” Bruce said, shifting the topic.
Dick shrugged. “There’s always been something there. I was too nervous to pursue anything, and I think she recognized that. She was off world for a while, and when she came back, she asked me out. It just…felt right.”
“Hmm.” Bruce studied Dick’s face. Dick had kept this a secret for two months. That hurt more than Bruce expected.
As usual, Dick read his mind. “We haven’t really told anyone else yet,” Dick said. “We both get a lot of, uh, less than professional comments, and we didn’t want people wondering aloud about our nonexistent sex life on missions when we’re still figuring things out.”
Bruce’s eyes narrowed. “Hmm.”
“I know I said that they’ve stopped,” Dick said. “I wasn’t lying. The heroes that know me don’t make those comments anymore, but I can’t do much about the criminals and heroes that don’t know me. I know that when Kori and I officially announce our relationship, it’ll get worse. And, no, I won’t give you names. I can handle it myself.”
Bruce opened his mouth, and Dick quickly said, “Tim won’t tell you anything. I’ve sworn him to secrecy. If you involve Damian or Jason, someone will get shot or stabbed or both. Really, B, I can handle it.”
“Alright,” Bruce said reluctantly. “But-”
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll let you know if things get out of hand, so that you can go all scary dark knight on them,” Dick said. “Thanks, Bruce.”
The food was more flavorful than what Dick – and most people – usually preferred. “She made this?” Bruce asked.
“Yep! It took her awhile to learn, but she’s nothing if not persistent,” Dick said. “After I introduce her to the family, I’m going to ask Alfred if he can show her a few things.”
“When?”
“In the next few months,” Dick said. “I want to let the family get used to me dating again before I introduce her. They’re a bit…much, sometimes. I thought I’d start with you, since you’ve automatically hated all my SOs.”
“I don’t hate them,” Bruce said. “They make you emotionally compromised.”
“I’m onto you, old man,” Dick said, grinning. “You don’t like seeing me cry. Don’t worry. Kori…I think she’s the one. She’s perfect, y’know? Accepts me for who I am. It’s easy, being with her.”
“I am…happy for you,” Bruce said stiffly.
Dick laughed. “Don’t hurt yourself there, B. But thank you. I appreciate the effort.”
“In a few weeks, I would like to meet her,” Bruce said.
“You’re going to spend the next month developing anti-Tamaranean weapons, aren’t you?” Dick said fondly. “You know I’m an adult now, right? I’ll cry on Wally’s shoulder if Kori completely breaks character and hurts me.”
“I like to be prepared,” Bruce said.
“Some things never change,” Dick said. “You’re still trying to protect me, even when I don’t need it.”
Always, Bruce wanted to say but couldn’t. He knew that Dick could read it in his eyes.